


The New Battle

by ClairefromAyr



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Friendship, M/M, Sibling Incest, Terminal Illnesses, Torture, Unrequited Crush, Vampire Sex, Vampires, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-08-15 10:32:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 57
Words: 184,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8052907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClairefromAyr/pseuds/ClairefromAyr
Summary: A different take on what happened to Stefan while he was drowning in the safe.  In this version he was drowning for a year and found by Damon - by which point he has amnesia.  This is a vampirecest fic involving a romance between the brothers so please be aware.  Warnings for blood sharing, violence, aggression, torture and explict sex between two men.  Some references to canon along the way but intense psychological pain, recovery and anguish experienced as well as lots of new characters.





	1. In the beginning there was nothing...

“Where is he? Damon?! Where is he?” Elena panicked as Damon tried to hold her back and calm her.

“Elena, he’s ok alright? I got him. Just chill.” He said and she looked into his eyes and tried to calm down. “I got him.” He said again in reassurance.

“Where is he?” She asked a little calmer and he indicated upstairs towards Stefan’s bedroom.

“He’s freaked out ok? He needs some alone time.”

“He’s been trapped and alone for a whole year Damon! A whole year!” She pointed out and he rolled his eyes at the stupid comment he’d made and held her shoulders.

“I know. He’s just a little disorientated and if you charge in there, you’ll just get him all fired up again. You’ve got to chill.” He explained and she nodded and began to breathe.

“Is he ok?” She asked full of emotion.

“He just spent the last twelve months drowning over and over again in a locked safe Elena. He’s…he’s not the Stefan you know right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want you to worry about this ok? He just needs time to get his brain going again.”

“Damon what are you talking about? You’re scaring me.” 

Damon sighed and led her towards the sofa, sitting down and turning towards her. He looked worried, which just made her more worried.

“What?” She asked nervously.

“He’s a little confused. He didn’t know who I was.” He explained and held her hand tight as she processed it.

“What?” She frowned.

“A little amnesia, but don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll come back to him, we just have to give him some time and space.” He comforted but she could tell from the tone of his voice that he was more than a little concerned.

“He doesn’t remember us? Anything?” She gasped and he nodded. “How? Why would that happen?”

“Maybe Silas did it before he pushed him into the lake? I don’t know. It could be from the trauma.”

“He must be so scared.” She put her hand over her mouth as tears filled her eyes. “Damon we have to help him.”

“We will.” He said resolutely and pulled her into his shoulder in an embrace as she sobbed.

Upstairs Stefan listened to the conversation and curled into himself in the huge bed that Damon had led him too. The girl downstairs obviously knew him, cared for him but he had no idea who she was. He closed his eyes as panic filled him. Who were these people? Who was Damon? This could all be a trick. Damon could be the one who put him in the safe in the first place. He just didn’t know. All he could remember was the darkness, the cold water, the urgency and fear of drowning over and over again as he screamed and pounded on the black lid of the safe.

He clenched his jaw and trembled, scared to close his eyes in case he opened them and was in water again. He allowed the tears he’d been holding back to spill down his face. They were hot and stung his eyes as he stared at the door to the bedroom. What was going to happen to him? He thought back on when Damon had found him.

He’d thought he was hallucinating at first when he felt the safe being pulled and moved from the water…

The water inside had begun to drain gradually and he gasped for breath, finally able to breathe for the first time since he could remember. The oxygen provided comfort for only a few seconds however as he realised that something was happening, something new. He began to panic as he realised this safe had been his world, all he could remember and he had no idea what was waiting for him outside of it. Could it be the person who’d put him in here? He struggled to remember the face that had loomed, haunted his hallucinations for months. His face had been familiar but always in shadow so he couldn’t be sure if he’d recognise it. Pale eyes, white skin, male – that was all he could remember.  
The safe finally landed on solid ground and Stefan began to hyperventilate in fear. 

The unmistakeable sounds of the safe being opened beginning. He had to be ready. He had to be ready to attack! He flexed his muscles, now barely existing because of lack of blood or movement. He gritted his teeth and felt shear adrenaline fill him. The lid opened slowly, creakily and a man’s’ face hovered above him. Pale wide eyes looking down, impossibly white skin…

He panicked and threw himself at the figure with every bit of energy he had. The figure shouted in surprise and fell backwards onto the ground as he climbed out of the safe onto grass. He couldn’t stop to appreciate it though as his captor rose to his feet and called to him.

“Stefan…” 

Was that his name? The figure put his hands up in surrender and Stefan growled and looked around for an escape.

“Stefan it’s me. It’s me ok?” The figure said, sounding like he was trying to soothe a child and Stefan compelled himself forward and felt sharp teeth fill his mouth.

He paused in surprise and touched them as the figure kept talking to him in the same tone, soothing, lulling, while fear radiated throughout Stefan’s body. What was happening to him? He tried to run, but his legs wouldn’t carry him. He fell to the ground in terror as the figure approached him.

He screamed and the figure paused and looked at him concerned.

Was this the person who’d imprisoned him? His face tingled under his eyes and he touched it and let out a roar of desperation and confusion and the figure pulled something from his pocket and tossed it in his direction. He looked down at it. It was a blood bag. A blood bag? He looked up at the figure again and the figure backed away a few steps and sat down, still holding his hands up. Stefan panted and stared at him, desperate to believe that this person wasn’t going to hurt him. He looked to the blood bag and his face tingled again.

“It’s ok, drink up Stefan. Everything’s going to be ok.” The figure said again and Stefan reached out and grabbed the bag.  
He squeezed it in his hands in confusion and looked at the figure again.

“Drink it.”

Stefan blinked and was about to scoff when he smelled the scent of it. It smelled amazing. He immediately bit into it and drank forcefully, gasping and gulping it down at such a speed that he had to close his eyes to concentrate and took his eyes off of the figure watching him. Still, the figure remained where he was as Stefan finished the bag and panted. He needed more, so much more. Having this small amount was only making him take of how the rest of his body was burning with the thirst for it. He hadn’t noticed how much pain he was in until he’d been given a little of something he evidently needed. His eyes filled with tears that burned hot in his eyes, but weren’t plentiful enough that they could descend to his skin. The figure moved and Stefan’s eyes moved over to him again warily.

“Stefan, Silas is dead. He’s gone. Everything is going to be ok brother.”

Brother? Stefan squinted at him in surprise at the use of that word. This person was his brother? He didn’t remember having one. In fact he remembered nothing at all but the cold and the darkness. Even words were hard for him to formulate in his mind. He hadn’t spoken to another person in his entire memory.

“Stefan you’re freaking me out here. Say something.” 

The figure indeed looked nervous and Stefan seemed to calm at that. This person really didn’t seem to want to harm him. He felt overcome with relief and tiredness as he realised that. He didn’t need to keep his guard up. The figure stood up slowly and so did he.

“Stefan, do you understand me?” The figure squinted at him, finally started to realise that they had more problems that simple misunderstandings of intent at work here. “Stefan!” He said a little more vexed and worried and Stefan opened his mouth to speak but moved backwards when Damon approached him.

“Jesus Christ!” The figure ran his hands through his hair and stared at him in fear now. “I’m going to fix this brother I promise you. Come on, let’s get you home.”

The figure moved to touch him and he screamed and threw himself at him in fear. Struggling as the figure cursed and tried to grab him in a way that would incapacitate him but not hurt him. Stefan growled and fought tooth and nail until he had no energy left at all and the figure managed to put him in the trunk of his car. He screamed wildly and beat on the boot lid as soon as Damon closed it, panicking at the enclosed space and hyperventilating with such force he let out such a scream of terror that the figure came back panicking and tried to calm him.

“Stefan for god’s sake! I don’t know what to…” The figure said, almost crying himself as he realised how stupid a place this was to place him, despite the fact that it was the only way to get him safely out of here and back to the boarding house without him struggling.

Stefan fought to get out of the boot, his face streaming with tears of terror and biting at Damon, making his arms and face bleed as he caught him and scratched, bit, pulled…whatever he could to get out until finally Damon had to grab his head and break his neck. Damon panted and collapsed to the ground as he sobbed silently and Stefan lay silent. He pulled his phone out of his pocket shakily and went to call Elena when he paused. Things weren’t good between them lately. Not since they had discovered that Stefan hadn’t simply gone away on travels. Silas had come and taunted them, pointing out Stefan’s predicament and it had crushed her. The guilt over how they hadn’t realised something was very wrong with Stefan and had happily played house for almost a year, had ruined the little happiness they had. She hadn’t been able to deal with it. She’d blamed him. Everyone blamed him…as usual. Somehow he was always the big bad even though he’d gone out of his mind too when he realised how much suffering Stefan must be enduring.

They had separated and now all their relationship seemed to be was an alliance to try and find Stefan. He’d been so glad when she and Caroline had gone off to college and gave him some space to figure things out. He could finally breathe and now that Silas was finally dead – with the help of Tessa, Damon could focus all of his attentions on finding Stefan and he had.

But he hadn’t expected this.

He had been prepared for Stefan being dead, for him being no more than a fluid enlarged corpse, or so angry he would never speak to him, or try to kill him, or…There were just so many possibilities and he’d thought of them all.

But this…Stefan didn’t seem to know who he was and that was beyond terrifying!

He climbed back into the Camaro and sped back to the Boarding house. He’d call Elena later, once he knew the full extent of what was happening. He pulled into the drive and got out, approaching the trunk slowly. Stefan still lay dead and unresponsive so he breathed in relief and lifted him into his arms carefully, bringing him up to his room. He lay him down on his bed and finally took in the state of his body. His muscles were almost nonexistent and his skin had a slight sludge look about it as the skin cells had never been able to revitalise properly from no contact with oxygen. He looked like a monstrous bag of putrid flesh and he smelled as much. Only his eyes told of the fact that it was Stefan. He couldn’t let anyone see him like this. He removed the scraps of clothing still intact and they fell away into pieces under his hands. He felt like vomiting at that and quickly disposed of them. He ran a quick bath in Stefan’s bedroom and hoped he could do this before Stefan awoke and started screaming again.

He hadn’t had to wash Stefan, care for him like this since they had been human and Damon had bathed Stefan as a child. He felt nervous and odd about it. Would Stefan feel violated or embarrassed at him having to do this? Probably, but he couldn’t have Stefan see himself looking like this. He crossed over to the bed and lifted his body, trying not to cringe too much at the texture of Stefan’s skin against his own. As soon as he was clean, he would feed him as much blood as he could take to get his body returning to health and a normal appearance. Pieces of Stefan’s skin were coming away and it was gross as Damon tried to wash him carefully. It was horrible and wasn’t helping. He stopped, fretting and decided that the only way to get this done properly was to get some blood into him first. He blurred to his room and pulled some blood bags from the fridge. He didn’t have time to wait for animal blood to work, human blood was necessary right now and he could argue with him later about that.

He opened Stefan’s mouth and poured some inside. Stefan’s body responded thankfully, his veins protruding in desperate need and Damon continued until the skin started to respond and reform. One blood bag changed his body enough to allow Damon to continue with his bath so he left the others at his feet as he focussed on cleansing the new skin. Stefan was still out thankfully. He grabbed a large towel and enfolded Stefan in it, carrying him out of the bathtub and to his bed laying him down. He searched around the drawers and found some underwear for him.

He didn’t have time to consider how intimate this all was, as Stefan moved a little and he knew he was running out of time. He slid his underwear up his legs and over his sex and dried the rest of his body off gently as Stefan opened his eyes. Damon paused and looked down at him and Stefan gasped terrified and tried to move.

“Stefan, it’s me brother. You’re safe, you’re safe.” Damon cooed gently and the tone made Stefan cease an attack and stare up at him. “We’re home.”

Stefan’s breathing was still way too fast but he seemed to take note of his new attire and looked around wildly. Damon stepped back and retrieved the blood bags from the bathroom. Stefan sat up and touched his body, feeling the warmth of the bathwater and the scent of the soap fill his lungs and he exhaled and touched his skin tentatively. His skin looked different. It wasn’t slippery anymore. Then he noticed the warmth and comfort brought by the underwear he had on and he touched it too. It felt so strange, so different from his other clothes. He realised quickly this was because he was dry, for the first time in his memory. He looked up, tears spilling to see his saviour approach him, because that is what this figure was – his savour, his angel. He opened his mouth and let a sound of emotion escape him and the figure frowned in concern and slowly handed him another blood bag. Stefan accepted it and bit into it, drinking deeply and enthusiastically.

The figure sat down and watched him and Stefan closed his eyes, feeling safe for the moment. This figure wouldn’t hurt him, he felt sure of that now. He finished the blood bag and lay back as he sighed. His body was changing, healing and he felt a strange buzzing in his head of elation. He closed his eyes, before opening them again really quickly and realising that he didn’t know where he was. He sat back up and looked around. His angel stayed quiet, simply observing as he chewed his thumb nail. The room he was in was vaguely familiar. It clearly belonged to someone who lived here, it was lived in. Books adorned every corner, a desk with an antique lamp was pride of place by the window and there were clothes draped everywhere. He looked to his angel again and he smiled at him.

“This is your room.” The angel said.

His room? He had a room?

“It’ll come back to you brother. It’s going to be ok.” The angel reassured and all Stefan wanted to do in that moment was to believe him.

He moved from the bed, smiling at the feeling of dry wood beneath his feet and he moved over to the angel. The angel leaned back a little wary but allowed Stefan to approach.

“What is your name?” Stefan managed to ask, words feeling like such a strange thing to use after having been inside of his own head for as long as he could remember.

“Damon. I’m your brother Damon Salvatore. You are Stefan Salvatore.” The angel said and Stefan sat down on his knees and searched for something familiar in any of those names.

The name Damon did seem familiar. He closed his eyes trying to figure out why but he was certain that name was important.

“Damon.” He mulled over the sound of the name and his angel seemed to frown in grief.

He looked up at him in surprise and Damon gave a rather unconvincing smile, handing him another blood bag. Stefan took it from his hands and held them warmly for a few seconds before removing the bag. The Damon angel blinked in surprise and then gave a small smile. He’d drank another few of the blessed bags before Damon had urged him into the huge bed before him and tucked him in.

“Sleep brother. I’ll figure out how to fix this.” Damon had vowed and Stefan had grabbed at his arm as he made to move.  
“Don’t leave.” He’d been so urgent in his begging.

He’d been alone always and he was terrified if Damon left him and he closed his eyes, he’d be back in that safe again. Damon seemed confused and surprised but he had sat next to him in an armchair. Stefan had turned on his side so he could look at him, study his face to try and incur some kind of memory. The face did seem familiar. Damon seemed uncomfortable under the scrutiny and had lifted a book to read as Stefan gradually closed his eyes and fell asleep peaceful and protected by his angel Damon.

He had awoken to the cries of the girl downstairs and had curled into himself realising that Damon was not beside him anymore. Without his comforting presence, it had been easy for him to slip back into the fear that he didn’t know if he could trust him. This angel had shown nothing but concern but it didn’t mean he was safe here. He pulled the comfortable blankets aside and rose from the bed, looking around for his clothing. He couldn’t see it anywhere. There were a lot of other clothes scattered around though so he moved to collect some of them when he froze. His eyes widened as he looked at the figure staring back at him. That face…those eyes….he knew them.

That was the one who had put him in the safe!!


	2. Chapter 2

“Ahhh, nooo! Nooo!!!!” Stefan screamed in absolute terror and fell backwards into a large bookshelf, knocking the books and ornaments all around him in a crash as it wobbled and fell on top of him.

He continued to scream as the figure looked on at him and he lost his mind in fear. His heart was bursting out of his chest and he felt near to passing out with fear when the Damon angel appeared again.

“Stefan!” He cried worried and bent over him, blocking the view of the evil face behind him.

“Damon!” He cried out in relief and the Damon angel lifted the painful cabinet off of him and reached for him to help him from the floor.

He couldn’t stand though, his body was like jelly from the fear, so instead he clung to the angel’s legs, shivering and trembling uncontrollably as the angel stood uncertain and afraid of his reaction. He heard the girl’s panicked voice as she ran into the room and Stefan buried his face in the angel’s legs and sobbed in fear. Too many people. Too many people around him. He felt claustrophobic and terrified and he couldn’t trust anyone but the angel. He tightened his hold on the angel’s legs and flinched away when the girl tried to touch him.

“Elena, stand back.”

“But…”

“Give him room!” The angel commanded and Stefan heard her sobs of protest and sorrow. “Elena, please.” The angel sounded remorseful at his previous forcefulness and it made Stefan peek up at him.

The angel looked down at him and gave him a reassuring smile as he reached out unsure, to lay his hand on Stefan’s head gently. Touch like this seemed to make the angel unsure, Stefan wondered why he would hesitate.

“Stefan?” The angel said softly and Stefan blinked as his heart slowed down.

“It was him.” He whispered and tightened his hold on the angel’s legs again as he whimpered.

“Who?” 

“The one who put me in there. He was here.” Stefan’s eyes filled with tears and Damon frowned trying to understand.  
“Silas is dead Stefan. He’s gone.” 

“Damon.” The girl said and the angel turned around to look at where she was indicating.  
The angel sighed in understanding and turned back to look at Stefan.

“It’s just a mirror brother.”

“A mirror?”

“Yes.”

“But…” Stefan choked as he tried to contemplate what the angel was saying. “He’s our brother?”

“What?” The angel frowned in confusion before he clicked as to Stefan’s meaning. “No. Absolutely not! He just…” He sighed in frustration as Stefan looked up at him, desperate to understand.

“He just looks a lot like you. He’s a distant relative Stefan.” The girl said softly and sat down on his bed at a far enough distance to make him stay calm.

He looked at her. She was beautiful. There was tenderness in her brown eyes that somehow made him feel secure. He gradually released his hold on the angel’s legs and she smiled at him.

“You’re safe with us.” She smiled and he looked up to the angel again.

The angel reached down his hand and helped him to his feet, squeezing his shoulder comfortingly as Stefan searched his face. Stefan calmed and Damon stepped aside to show him the mirror. Stefan still cringed as he looked at his reflection.

“That’s me?” He asked, moving forward slowly to touch it.

He had to touch it, to know that it really wasn’t a person hiding behind the frame that would jump out and grab him. He touched his own face and observed the reflection copying his movement. He tried to catch it out a few times, moving quickly and was awed at how quickly he could move. The image seemed to blur and he stepped back in amazement.

“The blood is healing you. It’s giving you your strength back.” The girl said and he looked at her from within the mirror.

“Blood.” He said and the Damon angel nodded. “Why? How?”

“Because you’re a vampire brother. Same as we are.”

He looked to the Damon angel and searched his face, looking down at his body for anything supernatural seeming. The scrutiny yet again, seemed to make the angel uncomfortable.

“We are vampires?”

“The last time I checked.” The angel said in jest and smiled and Stefan smiled too.

“Do I kill people then?”

“No.” The girl interjected. “No you drink from animals.”

“Why?” He frowned and the angel smirked and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as though he were enjoying some private joke in his head. 

“Do you drink from animals too?” He asked the angel and the angel snorted.

“Not me, brother!”

“Damon.” The girl chastised the angel and the angel let out a huge sigh of exasperation as she frowned at him.

Stefan didn’t like the way she was speaking to the Damon angel. He immediately felt his heckles rise and she noticed his expression changed to one of anger. She opened her mouth to speak in response but he cut her off.

“Don’t talk to him like that.” Stefan said annoyed and the angel turned back to him looking gobsmacked at his defence. “Who are you anyway?”

“I…I…” She spluttered and the angel put his hands out between them to calm them both.

“Hey, let’s just chill and start slow ok?” The angel advised and Stefan reigned in his anger and mistrust of the girl, deferring to the angel. “Listen I think, we should just take a bit at a time. Elena, maybe you should give us a little space. I’ll call you later?”

“But…” She began to argue, looking upset and Stefan felt a strange wash of sympathy for her as she looked to him with something akin to longing.

“Baby steps ok?” The angel soothed his tone and Stefan was sure he detected a note of love and familiarity in it that made him watch the angel closely.

Were this girl and the angel a couple? She seemed to respond to the angel’s tone and facial expressions of reassurance, as though they were intimate and something about that made Stefan feel a little uncomfortable. There was so much he didn’t know. He felt suddenly, unbearably tired and he wilted. They both seemed to notice and the girl rose from his bed and approached him slowly. He stepped back instinctively and hit the mirror, knocking it backwards onto the floor and she halted her approach and looked at him with such grief that he regretted his action.

“Elena’s a friend Stefan. You don’t have to be afraid.” The angel assured and Stefan did the only thing he could think of to remove her hurt expression while still keeping his distance.

He held his hand out to shake hers and she smiled gratefully and took his hand in hers. The second he touched her he felt some familiarity. She’d been important at some point. He had known her.

“I’m so happy you’re home.” She said, giving his hand a slight squeeze and he gave her a smile back.

She withdrew her hand and looked over in silent communication with the angel. There was definitely something between them. Stefan almost felt jealous. He needed the angel right now, there was no room for the girl in his mind. The girl left and the angel put his hands on his hips and sighed.

“Is she…yours?” He asked and the angel’s expression became slightly tormented.

He instantly regretted asking and moved to the angel, putting his arms around him to comfort him. The angel seemed taken aback at the action and stood still and tense for a second, before eventually returning the hug lightly and patting him on the back. The angel seemed to feel nervous about touching him. He was desperate to know why. He pulled back and searched his eyes. They were so blue and large. He could see his reflection in them. The angel cleared his throat and licked his lips nervously.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” Stefan said and the angel raised his eyebrows.

“Huh?”

“I scratched you, bit you.”

“Oh, forget about it. I’m sorry I didn’t realise what a stupid place it was, to put you in the trunk.” The angel gave a smile that made some lines form at the corners of his eyes and Stefan reached up to touch them, making the angel back away in surprise.

“Sorry.” He said immediately and the angel gave a half exhale, half smile of confusion.

“It’s ok. Maybe we should get you back into bed ok?” 

“Will you stay?” Stefan became fearful at the very suggestion of unconsciousness.

“There’s some things I need to do…” The angel began and Stefan’s whole body shuddered, making him stop. “Hey.” He stroked Stefan’s arm and Stefan looked down, trembling.

The angel chewed his lip and embraced him properly this time. Stefan folded his arms around him, trying to calm again.

“I got you, brother.” Damon mumbled into his shoulder and Stefan exhaled.

“Don’t leave me angel.” He whispered, laying his head against the angel’s shoulder.

The angel tensed again for a moment, but didn’t remove him. Stefan closed his eyes sleepily and Damon felt his body wilting again so he pulled back and guided him back into bed. Stefan closed his eyes and let out a sigh of comfort. The bed was so incredible and the warmth of the room, aided his limbs to relax again. Everything had been so cold and wet for so long, this was paradise. The angel sat down next to him again and picked up the book he had hidden behind earlier. Stefan felt himself drift to sleep, safe in the knowledge the angel would protect him.

Once Stefan was asleep Damon put the book down and rubbed his face with his hands. Stefan was completely clueless to anything going on and this wasn’t good. Would he ever remember anything? That thought was just unbelievable, but he couldn’t help but admit that there was a nagging in his brain that this could be a good thing for him. If he could forget all of the heartache he’d endured – not just the fact that his own brother had stolen his girlfriend, but the whole of their vampire lives. Stefan had killed their own father and forced him to become a vampire. That had started a spiral of pain and guilt that had led him down the ripper route. Then there were all of the years they spent fighting each other, hating and plotting – Damon more so than he. If Stefan never had these memories maybe he could start again fresh. Maybe there would be no ripper tendencies and he could feed normally and be strong. Maybe they could start again too, without all of the pain of what had happened in their love triangle. Damon had no qualms about not telling Stefan any of that, but he knew there was no way that would swing. Elena was too prominent in the equation and no way would she let that slide. She’d want Stefan to know everything to absolve her conscience. He’d have to explain to her why this would be a good way to go here.

He sighed and sat back into his chair as he watched Stefan sleep. Stefan was like a small child. He was going to have to remember that. Right now he needed comfort and reassurance. Perhaps he wasn’t up to this task. He didn’t know if he could give him what he needed. Elena was much better at this bonding stuff. Stefan and he had such a complicated relationship, even when they were at their strongest and feeling like brothers again, emotions were still tricky for Damon.

He should let Elena handle this maybe. He could help fill in the gaps and teach Stefan how to be a vampire again, but Elena would be better suited to be the nursemaid – if that was what Stefan would need. Who knew?

The sooner Stefan was comfortable with Elena again, the better.


	3. Chapter 3

It was cold, icy cold and dark. It didn’t matter how hard he fought against it, the darkness consumed him. He opened his mouth to scream for help when he remembered the water. The water never permitted it. He struggled violently and fought against it. He could feel the lid he knew was there and he pounded as hard as he could. He knew it was no use though. The water pulled at his limbs, preventing his pounding from having any real impact or sound. He tried to scream again but all he heard were his own cries in his head. Water permitted nothing, no escape, no release, no chance…

Despair and torment always followed when this happened. Every time he became aware this same scenario played out and he knew there was nothing he could do about it. The terror never ended, never faded and he just wished he could die and end it. He wanted to die so badly. 

Please…just let me die. Let me not wake up, let me finally drown. Just let the darkness have me.

And then the angel was there! His eyes, so blue, so kind, so full of love. The angel! The angel! The angel!

“Angel!!!” Stefan screamed out as the water filled his mouth once more and the darkness erased the face of his saviour.

He screamed in agony and reached out his hands as the last of the angel’s face evaporated into the darkness. Then there were hands on him, holding him down.

“Noo!!!!” He screamed.

“Stefan please!” A voice.

Was that his name? Was it the angel?

“Angel?!” He called fearfully, realising the water was gone from his mouth and he opened his eyes to see a face looking down at him.

Brown eyes, streaming with tears. He shouted in surprise and threw himself as far away from the figure as possible, ending up a heap on the floor as he realised he was in the room again. It was the girl who was with him. She came around to help him from the floor and her movement was so fast he screamed out for the angel again.

Where was he? Why had he left him? The girl paused and sank to the floor, weeping but trying to coo to him helplessly.  
“Stefan it’s ok. It’s ok.” She was crying and he panted wildly as he studied her. “It was just a dream.”

He blinked. A dream? Yes, he thought he remembered what that was. He was in the safe and then he was here. It meant, he hadn’t been back in the safe at all. It had been an illusion. He held his chest as he tried to understand it all. The emotions and sensations incurred in the dream were still thick in his mind and body though – as though the feeling of water and cold was sticking to his skin like treacle. 

“Where’s the angel?” He panted and she looked confused. “Where is he?!”

“Do you mean Damon?” She asked and he nodded. “He’s not…Stefan he’s…”

“Where is he?” He asked again, annoyed by her babbling.

“He’s gone out. I’m here to look after you till he gets back.” She explained and he shook his head in disbelief.

“No, no.” Stefan mumbled feeling afraid.

“Stefan he’ll be back soon I promise.” The girl seemed grieved she couldn’t offer any comfort.

“Please, I know you know me, but I can’t…” He said as he held himself and she sagged. “I need him.”

She sighed and pulled her cell out of her pocket as he watched her closely.

“Damon, get back here now. Stefan’s awake and he’s…he needs you.” She said, her voice a little bitter almost and Stefan frowned at that.

She hung up the call without saying goodbye and Stefan squinted at her.

“Why do you speak to him like that?”

“Like what?” She frowned now.

“Like he’s bad.” He said and she sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Is he a bad angel?”

“Stefan he’s not…” She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. “He’s just your brother.”

“He saved me.”

“Eventually.” She mumbled and he scrutinised her again.

They fell into silence.

“Listen, I know you don’t remember me, but you and I…we were best friends. We were…” She paused, treading carefully. “You and I were…”

“You were mine?” Stefan asked in surprise and she gave an uncomfortable smile.

That would explain why Damon and she were so intimate. If she was Stefan’s girlfriend, she was practically family to Damon too. He felt relieved by that knowledge. The girl wasn’t competition for Damon’s focus then.

“So, you’re going to have to learn to trust me ok? I love you Stefan and I want to be here to help you. Will you let me?” She asked gently and he nodded.

She smiled relieved at the progress. She stood up slowly and he did the same.

“Are you hungry?”

He nodded and she looked down at his body. He felt strangely vulnerable as she did so and he realised he still hadn’t found his clothes. He cleared his throat nervously and looked around for the clothes he’d tried to put on the previous night. She backed away, giving him space as he moved around her and retrieved the jeans he’d tried to put on. There were new clothes, smelling warm and freshly laundered, sitting on the chair that the Damon angel had vacated and he smiled and lifted them to his nose to smell them. He could detect a small trace of the angel’s smell on them and he felt comforted by that.

He began to dress in these clothes and the girl turned her back to give him privacy.

“So, you’re my girlfriend?” He asked as he pulled a t-shirt over his torso and revelled in the comfort of the dry warm fabric.   
He ran his hands down his chest as he appreciated the texture and she turned back to look at him. She looked uncomfortable and guilty.

“I was, but we…broke up before…” She filtered off and he raised his eyebrows. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

“No.” He said feeling a little nervous again.

She sat down at the end of the bed and he took a deep breath.

“There are just pieces. A face laughing at me as he closed the lid and locked me in. Then nothing but me and…” He swallowed as the darkness and cold came into his mind again.

“We didn’t know Stefan. I promise you. We thought you had left to do some travelling. We didn’t realise…” She began.

“What happened to me? Why did someone do this to me?” 

“It’s a long story.” She said regretfully and he opened his mouth to ask more questions when he heard the angel speak.

“A long story, for another time.” Damon said, as he walked into the room.

The relief that filled Stefan made him feel giddy and he smiled. The angel returned his smile confidently and flicked his eyes over to the girl.

“Ok?” He asked her and she nodded. “Good. Ok, let’s eat brother. Time to tell you who you are.”

The next few hours had given him a headache as the Damon angel talked of their human lives and tried to stir any memories inside of his head. His head pounded at the effort to try and remember and the angel kept reassuring him that it would come. The girl – Elena, stayed with them but kept silent.

“You’re a vampire too. Did you know us when we were human?” He asked, taking a sip of the brandy the angel had poured for him.

It tasted fiery and delicious and he relaxed into the sofa next to the angel as he let it warm him.

“No. I met you a couple of years ago, here.”

“You were a vampire then?”

“No. I was human. We met on the first day of school term.” She smiled and he raised his eyebrows.

“School? Why would I go to school if I’m…?”

“A necessary evil for keeping our secret brother.” Damon explained and Elena gave a small frown in his direction.

“Is that when you and I got together then?” Stefan continued and she nodded and smiled in memory.

He smiled at that and then he realised just how bad that was.

“Oh god.” He gasped, leaning forward. “Was it me? Did I turn you into..?”

“No.” She soothed and Damon tensed next to him. “No, that was an accident.”

Stefan exhaled in relief and turned to look at the angel beside him. The angel seemed on edge. Stefan lay his hand on his knee gently and it seemed to make him tense even further.

“Are you ok?” He asked.

“Peachy.” The angel gave a tight smile and moved to stand by the fire place.

Stefan tried not to feel hurt at the change in him. Elena took his place and took his hand in hers. He looked to her.

“You must have so many questions.” She said, squeezing his hand and he nodded.

“How did we become vampires? The ang…Damon and I?” He corrected himself and noticed Damon raise an eyebrow at use of the word ‘angel’ again.

Did Damon know he called him ‘angel’ still? Elena looked to Damon.

“Was it an accident?” Stefan asked and looked to Damon.

Damon paled a little and swallowed.

“Not exactly.” Damon said and then turned to face him, folding his arms. “Hey, fancy a drink? I know a good bar where I can explain all the sordid details.”

“Sure.” Stefan said without question.

All three of them stood up and Damon shook his head at Elena.

“I think we need some guy time.” Damon said pointedly and Stefan could see from her expression that she was not in agreement.

“Booze?” Damon said to him and he nodded, feeling a little bad for the girl.

He went to his room and grabbed a jacket hanging from the door. It was still so strange to think that this was his room, his clothes, when he had no memory of them at all. It felt like he was borrowing things from some stranger who was bound to turn up here eventually and demand everything back angrily. The man who’d done this to him looked just like him. Like a twin. Was it possible that he was this Stefan guy and somehow everyone had gotten confused? Was Damon the other person’s brother? Damon assured the Silas guy was dead, but what if it turned out that Silas was actually the real Stefan. It would mean that Damon wouldn’t be his anymore.

Not that he was his, but connected to him by blood. Strange how that still seemed unreal to him. Damon was so…different. He was so…beautiful. When Stefan looked at his face, trying to urge his memory, he had tried to scrutinise – to see if there was any resemblance between them, but he couldn’t see much. Silas had played mind control games apparently. Could it be that Damon just thought they were brothers? 

A small part of him warmed at the thought, no…not a thought - a hope that perhaps it wasn’t true. He didn’t want to be Damon’s brother. He wanted to be able to hold him and he was sure the fact that Damon believed they were brothers was part of the reason that he found some of his touch strange. Brothers didn’t touch as much as Stefan touched him did they? Did they? How was he supposed to know? He didn’t remember having anyone until Damon appeared. Perhaps there was an invisible line he kept crossing by accident and that was what made Damon tense. Yet it was such a comfort to him to touch Damon. He wanted to and it felt like a rejection when Damon moved away.

He shook his head at himself, at the tangent his thought were taking and laced up some boots he’d found under his bed.  
“Don’t worry, I got it ok. Let me handle this.”

He heard Damon say to the girl and he stood up and listened for her response. 

“I’m trusting you Damon.”

“What an honour.” Damon replied sounding a little annoyed and the girl sighed.

“I’m sorry. I’m just…”

“I get it. When are you going back to Whitmore?”

“Not yet. I’m not leaving until he’s better.”

“He’s not ill, he’s just confused. You should go back. I’ll call you if we need you.”

“I’m not going anywhere Damon. I’m not going to fail him like last time.”

Damon fell silent and Stefan heard his heart thrum in his ears in anticipation.

“You ready yet 007?” Damon called with some amusement in his voice and Stefan realised he’d been rumbled.

He blushed at having been caught and walked down the stairs to join them both in the foyer. He gave Damon an embarrassed smile and Damon tilted his chin towards the door. Damon walked on and Stefan moved to follow him when Elena caught his hand.

“Hey, this is my number. If you want to talk to me, just call. I’ll be there any time you need.” She smiled and slipped the paper into his hand.

He nodded and accepted it gratefully before following Damon out to the car.


	4. Chapter 4

“So I guess I am the fun brother and you are the safe one then?” Stefan teased as Damon drove along the road as though he had a baby in the back seat.

Damon snorted and stared at him indignantly. Stefan chuckled at his expression and checked his seatbelt was secure as a look of determination crossed Damon’s face. Damon slammed his foot on the pedal and Stefan laughed some more as the car jolted forward and roared down the road, spinning up smoke as the tyres screeched noisily until they lost purchase on the road altogether and the car flipped and rolled them over and over until they were both thrown through the windscreen onto the ground coughing and laughing as Stefan sucked breath back into his lungs.

His body hurt but the elation of the adrenaline was worth it and he found himself laughing harder and harder as he lay on the ground looking up at the sky. Damon laughed from where he was lay in a heap beside him.

“Ok, ok. I get it.” Stefan rolled onto his side and sat up as Damon wiped at the blood pouring down his chin from his lip.   
“You’re the fun brother.”

“Don’t you forget it.” Damon smiled and chuckled as he sat up.

“Shame about the car.” Stefan commented, looking at the wreckage and Damon huffed.

“It was yours. Feel free to kick my ass when you remember what you paid for it brother.” Damon grinned and Stefan shook his head and laughed again.

“Maybe I will.”

They got up and fixed their attire, before heading down the road towards the bar.

“So, Elena.” Stefan prompted and Damon gave a small smile. “She seems like she’s bursting your balls a little.”  
Damon chuckled and smiled at him.

“What?” He laughed back and Damon shook his head.

“You just sound like you, that’s all.”

“I hope that’s a good thing.”

Damon gave a non-committal smile.

“What’s her problem with you?”

“It’s that obvious huh?” Damon exhaled. “Water under the bridge brother.”

The mention of water made Stefan’s stomach churn and he tensed. Damon seemed to notice and changed the subject swiftly.  
“This bar has a great brandy selection. You’ve never been much of a brandy drinker mind you, but I thought perhaps now I could convert you.”

“I’m game.” Stefan smiled and they reached the bar finally.

As they stepped inside, the smell of food and sounds of people filled Stefan’s ears and he halted at the doorway, nervously. Damon turned back to look at him in surprise.

There were so many people, too many people. He’d been alone always and then Damon came to save him. Damon’s company was a must but to be honest, getting used to having Elena around him too, already crowded his senses. He didn’t know if he could do this. He shot a fearful look at Damon as Damon’s eyes widened.

“It’s a little crowded.” He gulped and Damon frowned trying to understand his reticence. “Damon, I…” He struggled and Damon reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

The contact helped calm him and he took a few deep breaths as the panic began to fade. Damon’s face was full of so much concern. It made his eyes bluer. Stefan stared at him as he breathed, almost edged on by Damon’s breathing as he watched Damon’s chest rise and fall. He reached out and placed his hand on Damon’s chest, making him blink at the contact. He copied Damon’s breathing and Damon seemed to get what he was doing as he deliberatively took in deep breaths and released them.  
“It’s going to be ok brother.” Damon said softly and Stefan nodded.

Damon put his hand over Stefan’s and patted it, before removing it and putting his arm around Stefan’s neck, guiding him inside to a booth. Damon winked and left him to go to the bar as Stefan stared after him. Damon was like his life support machine right now. Helping him breathe, keeping him calm. What would he do without him?

Damon tried not to look back at Stefan while he waited. He didn’t want to seem too concerned. He had no idea what Stefan was feeling these days. He’d hoped that Stefan would open up to Elena and talk things through, but he’d pushed her away instead, wanting only Damon’s counsel. This wasn’t working out as planned. What the hell was he supposed to do? He didn’t know how to comfort someone from a trauma like this. If it was his Stefan, he’d know what to do. He’d take him out, get him drunk and help him remember. Elena would do all the nitty gritty stuff – probably get him to read his old journals or start a new one and eventually everything would right itself. This version of Stefan though, he was so vulnerable, so childlike. He needed so much more attention and Damon just didn’t believe he had the right kind of stuff in him to help.

Damon didn’t do feelings. He wasn’t good at it. He scarcely managed to understand or deal with his own. He couldn’t take on this responsibility alone. He had to get Stefan to open up to someone else or Damon was going to make a disastrous mess of this. He hung his head and sighed. Stefan was leaning on him hard, feeling strong emotions at the drop of a hat.

Why was he fixated on him as being the person to believe in, to look up to? He wasn’t the right one, Stefan had to realise that. Perhaps he shouldn’t encourage this. Perhaps he should force Stefan to seek help from others. It wouldn’t end well if Stefan stuck to him like glue. When they were children Stefan had made that same mistake and he’d ended up with a regular beating from their father for it. Following in his big brother’s stead always landed him in trouble. This would be no different.

He ordered a bottle of their best brandy and headed back over to the table when he saw Stefan almost hyperventilating at the proximity of a woman blocking his view of Damon.

“Great.” He huffed. “It’s the fun police.”

He reached the table and slid down across from Stefan and Stefan immediately looked relieved. God, this needed to be sorted out now.

“Vampire Barbie, always a pleasure.” Damon smirked and poured Stefan a glass of brandy, sliding it towards him.

“Really? You brought him to a bar?” She accused and Damon gave her a fake smile. “You think this is the best way to help him right now? By getting him drunk?”

“Ooh, if looks could kill. Maybe you should save all that energy for your dorm mates Blondie and leave the grownups to have a polite conversation over a good bottle.”

Stefan gave out a quiet chuckle and Caroline glared at Damon.

“This isn’t funny. He needs help Damon. We need to get Bonnie to find something to undo this amnesia.” Caroline spoke and Stefan grew irritated with her continued anger towards Damon.

What was with all the women around here? Why did they pick on his angel so much?

“What I need…” Stefan spoke up, grabbing the bottle of brandy from the middle of the table and topping up his glass as Damon raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Is to get drunk with my brother over this very fine brandy and learn about my life.”

Caroline looked to him in surprise and softened guiltily.

“Stefan, I’m sorry, it’s just…there’s so much to talk about and drinking isn’t good with you.” She explained and reached out to rub his arm.

He flinched backwards in surprise and she paused.

“Are you my new girlfriend or something?” He squinted at her and she blushed.

“No, I’m your friend Stefan. I’m your best friend.” She said and he looked to Damon for confirmation.

Damon raised his glass and swallowed it down in affirmation and Stefan looked to the girl again.

“Look…” He paused, not knowing her name.

“Caroline.” She answered worriedly.

“Caroline, thanks for the concern but this is kind of a guys night and me and my brother were just getting going here.”  
Caroline blanched at his words and looked to Damon who stared down at the table.

“Ok.” She said sounding hurt and he felt a stab of guilt at the way her expression crumbled.

This girl was his best friend, of course she would be protective. He just didn’t get why everyone wanted to protect him from his own flesh and blood – if in fact that was what they were. Perhaps the fact that everyone treated Damon with distain meant that it wasn’t true and they just wanted him to believe that so he could feel less afraid. Yes, he bet that that was what it was. He looked to Damon again and studied his features. Damon looked so different from him. Perhaps they’d all thought that if Damon pretended to be kin, he’d be more comfortable staying with Damon and they could keep him calm while they tried to help him. After all, family was family and it made sense that someone in his condition would trust a family member over other strangers.

“Of course, Stefan I’m sorry. I’ve just missed you so much. We all have. We just…want you to get better. Here’s my number. Call me anytime.” She handed him her number on a piece of paper and he added it to his pocket with Elena’s as he smiled at her in apology.

“Speak later? Don’t get wasted.” She turned to Damon and he grunted in affirmation.

She left them to it and Stefan drank his brandy in one gulp. He coughed at how strong it was and Damon smirked at him and grabbed the bottle back over.

“What is with the women in this town?” Stefan chuckled nervously and Damon hummed as he swallowed his own portion. “Did you date them both or something?”

Damon gave a small cough into his hand and smirked.

“You dated her?”

“I wouldn’t use that word exactly.” Damon smirked again and Stefan chuckled.

“No wonder she hates you. So she’s my best friend huh?”

“Apparently so Stef.”

“Stef?” He raised his eyebrows and Damon looked at him in query.

“Stefan.” He corrected and Stefan shook his head.

“No, I like it. Stef. It shows you know me.” He smiled and Damon chewed his lip. “So Blondie is my bestie and Elena is my ex. Who’s my girlfriend then? Do I have a girlfriend?”

“Ummn…”

“Coz I noticed a few things in my room that don’t look like a guy should have.” He raised one eyebrows and Damon gave a weak smile. “What is that?”

“What?”

“That smile.”

“Huh?”

“You smile like that when you’re uncomfortable.”

“Do I?” Damon played dumb and Stefan reached over the table and squeezed his hands.

“Is there something wrong?”

Damon slowly pulled his hands out from under Stefan’s and gave an uncomfortable chuckle as he reached for the bottle and refilled both of their glasses.

“Look Stefan, you’ve been a vampire for 147 years. A shit lot has happened since then. Some stuff good, some stuff bad. I’m inclined to leave out the unnecessary just now.”

“Ok. Whatever you think.” Stefan replied and Damon looked at him frowning.

“You don’t have to agree with me you know. You can tell me to shut the hell up and demand some answers.” Damon pointed out and Stefan sat back in his chair confused.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you don’t really know me. I could be telling you anything and you’re just sitting there.”

“Ok. I guess that’s true.”

“I could be your enemy. I could fill your head full of a bunch of crap and you wouldn’t know any different.” Damon sighed.  
“Why would you do that?” Stefan struggled to understand why Damon suddenly looked so pained, so desperate.

“Maybe I’m the bad guy. Maybe it’s my fault you ended up locked in that safe for a year. Did you ever think of that?”  
Stefan stared at him hard as Damon shook his head and drank more. He seemed distressed.

“I’m not the one to lean on here Stefan. You don’t want me to be your therapist. I’ll just fuck it up and disappoint you.”

Stefan was speechless. He grabbed the bottle from Damon’s hands and drank straight from it as he watched. He drank a few gulps before he sat it down coughing and breathed out the fire in his mouth. He took a few ragged breaths as he thought on what to say.

“I may not remember anything, but what I do know is that you came for me. You rescued me from that tomb I was in. Not the Blondie, not brown eyes, you. There’s nothing you can do to convince me that I can’t trust you.”

“Stefan…”

“Listen. You say you’re my brother. Fine. If you’re not actually my brother, that’s also fine ok? But I do trust you, no matter what you say because I can see it in your face. I know it. It’s the only thing I’m sure of.”

Damon rubbed his eyes tiredly as Stefan took another drink.

“Now, tell me how the hell I got locked in that safe.”

They chatted a little more light-heartedly and got drunk. Damon was easier drunk. He didn’t mind being touched a little more often. He didn’t tense and Stefan relaxed. He couldn’t explain it. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that Damon was the most important thing in his life. He was saviour, brother, protector, purveyor of fine booze and he cared. The drunker they got, the more it shone from his eyes how happy he was to have Stefan with him. That kind of energy only made Stefan feel like he was falling further. It was like Damon was his missing piece, his soul mate. He’d never felt anything so real, so solid. Damon hugged him, laughing with him and telling him stories of their human years and Stefan melted into him and laughed, feeling the safest and the most loved he’d ever felt. This was right.

Finally the alcohol took its toll and the bottle lay empty. 

“I’ll get one.” Stefan giggled.

“Stef you don’t have any money.” Damon laughed and Stefan motioned for him to wait.

He walked up to the bar. Damon had been telling him about compulsion and he wanted to try it out. He stood at the bar, trying to catch the barman’s attention when a smell drifted past his nose. He turned in the direction of it immediately and tried to suss out where it was coming from. The girl walked past, holding her drinks tray, laden down with glasses and it was as though she were the only person in the room.

She smelled…like nothing he’d ever smelled before. He inhaled deeply, watching her chat to a customer and he zeroed in on her neck. He could see her pulse there and he was captivated by it. It filled his mouth with saliva. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. She lifted her tray once more and walked through a doorway to the kitchen and he was through those doors before he realised he’d moved.

She was washing her hands, bending over the sink, before a mirror and she couldn’t see him. He moved closer. He wasn’t sure what he intended to do but he knew he wanted something from her. Something that suddenly took over his brain. He moved to her, so quickly he blurred in the mirror before her and he caught her eyes.

“I don’t want to hurt you. You’re not going to scream. I just want a taste that’s all. Just a taste.” He compelled like Damon had described and the girl stared at him blankly.

He smiled in amazement and leaned down to her neck as he felt fangs fill his mouth. Her pulse quickened and he licked over it, ready.

He heard a whirl of sound and suddenly Damon was in front of him, having taken the girl from his arms and dropped her to the floor dazed. Stefan opened his mouth to protest when Damon held his shoulders and squeezed.

“Not here brother. Not yet.”

“I just wanted…”

“I know but I thought I was the teacher. Huh? You want to flunk your first lesson because you haven’t experienced my methods yet?” Damon gave a half assured smile and Stefan closed his mouth.

“Baby steps.” Damon reminded and Stefan smiled and held Damon’s sides warmly. “More booze?”

“Sure.” Stefan smiled and Damon put his arm around Stefan’s neck and pulled him back through to the bar, teasing his crap compulsion job to make Stefan laugh and forget all about the girl entirely.

Who cared about the girl when Damon was holding him close like this? Who cared about anything other than this feeling of being whole?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 TNB

Stefan woke up feeling hungover and looked to his right side. Damon was sleeping slumped in the chair beside him. Stefan had insisted that he stay if he wanted Stefan to sleep off their third bottle of brandy. He sighed and smiled to himself. They had talked until the bar closed and then they’d drank another bottle by the fireplace as Damon explained about Silas, their search for the cure and about who everyone was. He knew Elena had been his girlfriend, but they had split up after her transition. Things between them had changed and it hadn’t worked out in the end. Now they were friends.

Caroline was his best friend and confidante and Elena’s bestie too, along with a witch named Bonnie who had been dead and now wasn’t anymore but still wasn’t alive either. It took him a while to get his head around that one! Jeremy was a kid who’d been living there as he was Elena’s brother but had since moved in with another guy called Matt. Elena had lived here for a while too as they had searched for him but was now living on campus most of the time or at Matt’s. Well, at least that explained the girl things he kept finding in his room.

It was a bit of an overload of information. He watched Damon sleep for a while, wondering on Damon’s change of heart in the bar. He’d seemed to be trying to warn him, to push him away and Stefan couldn’t figure out why exactly. Why had he said those things? It had seemed like he wanted Stefan not to trust him anymore, but that was never going to happen. He was the only one that Stefan did trust, absolutely.

His angel.

He got up slowly, not wanting to disturb him. It didn’t look a comfortable position for him to sleep in and Stefan realised how stupid it was to ask him to sleep in the chair by his bed rather than beside him. He moved to his side and leaned over him, reaching out to shake him awake and offer him the bed instead when he stopped himself. He reached out with his fingertips and moved some hair from Damon’s forehead aside. Damon didn’t even notice, he was deep in alcohol stupor. Stefan’s heart raced. He leaned down, his heart in his throat and brushed Damon’s lips with his own, before pulling back immediately as Damon inhaled deeply and moved his head towards him.

Stefan stood back and felt a rush of emotion sweep through him. This guy wasn’t his brother. No way. He wouldn’t feel like this if he were, it would be gross and impossible and somewhere deep down there would be warning bells or disgust or something. What he was feeling now, felt right and so this brother thing had to be a fabrication.

He nodded to himself as he rationalised it. He wouldn’t question it right now though, obviously Damon had a reason for him wanting to believe that, so he’d let it go for a while until he figured out why it was important.

He wandered down the stairs, wondering where Damon kept their blood bags when he bumped into Elena in the foyer.

“Hey.” She smiled at him and he stopped surprised.

“Hey.” He said unsure.

“I have a key.” She demonstrated and he gave an unsure smile in response. “I thought, since you were probably hungover, you might fancy a walk – some fresh air and we can talk.”

“Um…” He looked up towards the stairs. 

He didn’t want to go anywhere without Damon by his side. He felt safest when he was there. Elena gave him a tight lipped smile.

“He’ll be out for a bit Stefan. I won’t bite. You used to trust me above anyone else.”

Stefan doubted that but she seemed sincere and he could use some fresh air now that he thought about it. He nodded and laced up the boots he’d left scattered around the lounge alongside Damon’s jacket and shoes. He followed her out and they began to walk quietly.

“So late night? Damon keep you up drinking?” She asked and he nodded and smiled. “Figured as much.”

“We had a lot to catch up on.”

“Yeah.” She agreed. “So where did you get to?”

“Silas, the cure…me in a safe.” He said and she made a sound of surprise. “He told me everything.”

“Everything?” She paused and touched his arm.

He didn’t flinch like normal but he still felt a little uncomfortable.

“Did he explain about us?” She asked nervously and he frowned.

“You were my girlfriend and then you became a vampire. Things changed between us and we broke up.” He said simply and she bit her bottom lip and gave a quick nod. 

“Yeah.”  
“But we’re friends now right? I mean, you were living at my house.”

“Yeah, we are.” She linked her arm with his and he allowed it, making her smile.

They walked on as he breathed in the scent of the woods nearby.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” She said and he raised his eyebrows in query. “Maybe if we re-enact a couple of the times we met or important things that happened to you, it might stir some memories.” She suggested.

“Ok, we could do that.”

“Ok.” She beamed.

“What first? I met you at school right – on the uh, first day of term?” He remembered her saying and she nodded. “At least it wasn’t in some creepy graveyard or something.” He chuckled and she bit her lip again. “Seriously I met you in graveyard?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t really a proper meeting I guess, it was the first time we had a real conversation after we bumped into each other in school.”

“Ok so school was the first time then?”

“Technically yeah. You wanna go see if you remember?”

“Ok.” He agreed and she pulled him along happily as she started chatting away.

As they headed towards the school, she came to a halt and turned to him, looking a little indecisive.

“What?” He asked.

“I know, Damon has been filling you in, but I thought, maybe, there was someone else who could help you remember.”

“Who?”

“You.” She smiled and he frowned.

She reached into her bag and produced an old and decrepit journal and he looked to it intrigued. She handed it to him and he opened the first page. His name was written on the inside in bold letters. He let out a puff of air as he traced the letters. They still looked so unfamiliar.

“So…I’m a girl then?” He snorted and she seemed a little taken aback by the comment.

He smiled in apology and closed the book.

“Thanks.” He said, tucking it into his inside pocket.

She smiled at him but there was something else behind it that he didn’t recognise. He patted it, emphasising its presence in his keeping and began to walk again. He’d read it another time. It wasn’t important right now. Damon had told him everything he needed to know.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Damon woke up Stefan was gone. He sat up abruptly, concerned.

“Stefan?” He called, but there was no answer.

Fear gripped him and he blurred from the room, down the stairs looking for him. He’d looked for 9 whole, torturous months for him and even he was still reeling from the fact that he had in fact rescued his little brother finally. When he woke up in the mornings he kept having to remind himself that the search was really over and Stefan was home, safe. He’d tried to pretend to himself that sleeping in the chair beside Stefan’s bed was for Stefan’s benefit, but really, he needed it just as much. He needed that reassurance that he’d brought his brother home and now he could rest. 

His cell wrang and he searched his jacket for it until he pulled it out.

“Elena, hey…”

“Damon I need your help!” She sounded distressed and he immediately sprang to attention.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Stefan. We were talking and I told him about us…” She began.

“You did what?” He blanched.

“He needed to know Damon.”

“I know he needed to know but I was handling it! I was going to break it in gently not blurt it out!” He said annoyed and frustrated. “How did he take it?”

“He just ran off and I can’t find him anywhere. Damon there are lots of people scattered through the woods paying their respects for the Bell ceremony.” She said worriedly and Damon sighed into his hand as he scrubbed his face.

“Ok, I’m on it.”

“If he hurts someone…”

“I said I’m on it!” He closed his phone and grumbled as he grabbed his jacket and ran out the door.

Stefan managed to run a bit of a rampage, scaring people but thankfully not feeding as Damon combed the woods for him. What a disaster this was! He caught up to him in the family crypt, blood all over his mouth as he pulled at his hair.

“Stefan?” He approached the entry to the crypt carefully, holding his hands up like he had when he’d opened the safe and Stefan whirled around to look at him.

“I couldn’t help myself.” Stefan said and indicated to the body which lay dead at his feet and Damon swallowed.

“It’s going to be ok.”

“It’s NOT going to be ok!” Stefan shouted angrily. “I’m a monster. You left that bit out of your story!” Stefan threw a book at him and Damon looked down at it.

It was one of Stefan’s journals.

“There’s a lot you left out.” Stefan choked. “Like the fact that I killed our father.”

“Stefan where did you get this…”

“I forced you to become a vampire…”

“Wow, wait till I…”

“I enjoy nothing more than ripping peoples limbs off!! You spent the last century hating me because I got our lover killed…”

“Stefan listen to me!” Damon grabbed his shoulders and squeezed them tight and Stefan pushed him back.

“So, you followed me here to ruin my life – steal my girlfriend, kill my friends…who are you?!”

Damon stood back speechless and Stefan crumbled and shed some tears.

“You were my angel.” He said and Damon cringed in guilt. “You saved me. Why would you do that if you hate me so much? If you’re so evil?”

“I’m not an angel Stefan. I never said I was.” Damon exhaled. “And I can’t change the past or who I am and I’m not going to apologise for that.”

Stefan looked up at him in a mixture of anger and sorrow. Damon licked his lips nervously.

“Silas.” Stefan pondered. “Did you help him?”

“What?!” Damon gasped.

“To get rid of me so you could be with Elena. Did you help him put me in that lake?” Stefan stared him out angrily and Damon felt winded at the accusation.

“No.” He answered coldly, pulling his emotions in.

“How did you find me then, when no one else had?” Stefan accused and Damon felt his anger boiling.

“I searched, for months.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“I don’t give a crap what you believe! You wanna make me the bad guy? Go ahead, join the queue brother!!” Damon growled now. “Why stop the habit of a lifetime.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about who I really was?” Stefan growled defensively and Damon huffed.

“Because of this!” He gestured towards the dead body at Stefan’s feet. “I knew if you knew all that crap, this would happen and gee I guess I thought maybe you’d stand a chance if you didn’t know.” Damon sneered and put his hands in the air as he spoke.  
Stefan listened, breathing hard as he thought on that. The pain of knowing for certain that not only was Damon really and truly his brother, he’d been the cause of a lot of his heartache. The way he wrote about Damon in this journal that Elena had given him…It made Damon sound like a monster who cared about no one but himself. Everything Stefan thought he knew, that he’d been sure of since he got out of that safe was up in the air and in question. His heart ached.

“I don’t know who you are.” Stefan said finally and Damon kept his face blank. “I thought I did.”

Damon kept quiet and blank.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” He demanded and Damon shrugged.

“What’s the point Stef? Everything you’ve read in there is true in your mind. I’m an evil, lying monster who wants to ruin your life. Simple.”

“Except you’re not. You came for me.” Stefan said hopefully and Damon shook his head.

“I felt guilty about Elena so I wanted to make it right ok? Now you’re home and you’ve got all your Scooby gang around you, it’s business as usual.” Damon shrugged again.

Stefan felt his chest tighten. Damon gave a smirk and turned to leave him there when Stefan panicked and ran at him, pinning him to the wall. He didn’t know whether he wanted to hurt him, beat him…but he had to do something to release this pent up emotion. Damon pushed back at him annoyed and Stefan dove for his mouth, kissing him fully on the lips and Damon paused stunned. Stefan caressed his lips with a raw passion for a few seconds before Damon’s mind evidently came back to him and he threw Stefan across the room and panted looking horrified.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 TNB

“What the hell?!” Damon bellowed as Stefan picked himself up from the floor.

His stomach churned violently as he took in the expression of horror and revulsion on Damon’s face.

“What the hell was that?!”

Stefan didn’t know what to say, he just stood limply. Damon shook his head and wiped at his mouth and Stefan felt his heart breaking at that. His angel – perhaps not a real angel, but he still the need to be near him, to touch him felt just as important now as it had this morning. He couldn’t reconcile the person he’d read about and his Damon angel. They couldn’t be the same person. Damon must be different inside and only let his true self show sometimes – that could explain in. Deep inside he was what Stefan knew him to be, what he’d shown him over the past few days. He had to be.

They stared at each other at a loss for words as Damon studied him, squinting and keeping a distance. Stefan sat down on one of the cement benches and waited. Damon just stood there, swallowing nervously as the wheels in his head turned. It seemed to take an age before Damon realised why Stefan was feeling like he was. He cleared his throat nervously.

“I’m not an angel Stefan. I’m not cut out for some pedestal in your mind. We’re family – we care about each other and we hate each other too. You put up with my existence because you feel some familial obligation to me. You hate what I am and you always try to excuse what I’ve done, but you know deep down that I’ll never change because I like being this way. That’s the way it’s always been. That’s all.”

“That’s not how I feel.” Stefan said simply and Damon took in a deep breath and squirmed. “You’re not the person I read about in that book. I know you’re much more than that.”

“It’ll come back to you.” Damon said tightly.

“I don’t want to remember you like that. I need you. You’re everything.” Stefan lay his heart out naked before him and Damon looked close to vomiting with nerves.

“What you need, is to grow a set.” Damon tensed as he spoke.

He had to sour the milk here. Stefan was feeling some strange and horrifying emotions. He’d kissed him and Damon had felt the passion and love in it. This was so far beyond wrong it made him shiver. How the hell had this happened? Had he done something to encourage this? He had known that by being the first face Stefan had seen when he’d been rescued, that Stefan would think of him as a saviour and he would be inclined to trust him most, but love? Not just familial love or love for a hero or friend, but love, love? It made him want to vomit.

“You need to stop cowering like a child and pull yourself together, move on with your life. Pick up the pieces now. Be a man for god’s sake.” He knew his words were harmful, but he had to.

Stefan was wrong, he was going wrong and Damon’s presence was the cause. As he spoke he saw the words spear Stefan’s heart, but he kept his face blank.

“I’m done babysitting brother.” He turned and walked out of the crypt, leaving Stefan to pant in heartbreak, alone in the dark once more.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stefan had wept and punched the walls in the crypt until his hands were covered in his own blood. He felt lost, adrift in a sea of emotions that stung him as though he were bathing in acid. Damon had sounded like the person described in this journal. Was it all really true?

He couldn’t bear to think like that. He’d lose his mind. What was he going to do? Where would he go? Would Damon let him come back to the boarding house they both seemed to live in? Would he talk to him anymore? Would he be there? So many questions, each ripping a new hole in his chest as he realised he truly didn’t know the answers.

He shouldn’t have been so stupid. He shouldn’t have kissed him. He should have known that Damon wouldn’t feel the same. They were brothers and brothers didn’t share those kinds of feelings. He had just needed to be comforted so much. He’d needed to show him how much he adored him. The need to show him how he felt had been too overwhelming for him not to and now Damon had turned his back on him.

His angel was gone and he wasn’t coming back.

He lay down on the bench and tried to sleep. Maybe things would be clearer in the morning. Maybe he could take it all back somehow. Maybe it wasn’t too late.

He barely slept. The cement beneath him providing no comfort and yet the familiarity of the texture, he remembered. Yes, the comfort of blankets, warmth and a mattress were new memories. This cold, hard surface beneath him, he was used to. Perhaps it was inevitable that he should end up here in this crypt. Perhaps he should stay here and accept that this was what his life was supposed to be. Perhaps he should just give up and stop trying to get back what everyone was telling him he’d lost, when the only thing he cared about was his angel. He didn’t care about his memory anymore. It had been interesting to learn about who he’d been, but he wasn’t that person anymore. Too much had happened to him and now the person who’d written that journal seemed like a naïve, fool. 

That person had been so full of empathy, it had been to his detriment. He’d cared too much about people and despite that, he’d ended up betrayed, hurt, and at the bottom of a lake for a whole year while his loved ones got on with their lives. Elena had said it had been three months before they’d realised that something was wrong and only because Silas had reappeared and pretended to be him.

Really? Three months he’d been screaming in agony, drowning over and over again in the dark and none of them had thought that his absence should be a concern? Tears rolled down his cheeks as he thought on that. Some friends they were.

If they’d loved the person in that journal as much as he had evidently cared for them, they would have noticed something was wrong. In the end the person who’d never given up searching was Damon, but he was willing to bet that guilt was a huge factor – just like Damon had admitted. He could believe that for sure.

But Damon was his angel.

He shook his head and pulled at his hair as he sobbed. His mind was torn apart at the separation from the only person he thought he knew. His angel and this bastard of a brother in the journal. He couldn’t be both could he? He had to be one or the other and his harsh words as he’d left tonight made him sound like the worst option. No, no, no!

He turned on his side and buried his face in his arm as he exhaled and tried to shut his mind out. Sleep would bring perspective. It had too or he would lose it, he’d go mad.

He fell asleep eventually, only to awake every few hours screaming as he opened his eyes into the darkness of the crypt, grasping for the lid he thought would be above him. Each time he realised that he wasn’t in the safe he cried out for Damon. It always took a few minutes for him to remember and realise he was alone again. As the sun rose, light filtered into the crypt and he sat up, thankful.

He was exhausted and sore and utterly, utterly defeated. He looked to the body on the ground and chewed his lip. Damon had said that he’d wanted to keep his vampire nature from him because it would send him into a spiral. He had to admit that indeed that’s what had happened as soon as he read the journal and known all of the things Damon had kept from him. Perhaps Damon’s plan had been a sensible one, but they’d never know now.

He shook his head as he rose from the bench and dragged the body outside. He’d bury it and try not to let the hunger in him, make him into the person from that journal. That person was dead. He wouldn’t allow himself to be so used and naïve like that. Evidently caring so much, got you stepped on by others and he wouldn’t make that same mistake again. He’d do as Damon suggested and he’d man up. Find a place to live, sort himself and figure out what he wanted to do with his life, his freedom now. He didn’t have to stay here. In fact he didn’t really have to care did he? He’d read that he could turn his emotions off. He could do that. Why bother with this struggle, this pain in him when it was for nothing? His angel was gone and he might not come back.

Why the hell should he bother trusting any of these people or attempt to rebuild a life lost to the water? He could just turn it off and leave. Make his own way, make himself into a new person without any baggage or recriminations or anger. Yes, he’d do that.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damon didn’t sleep at all. Stefan didn’t come back and he hadn’t been surprised. Elena was already at the boarding house stressing when he returned and he really didn’t have the energy for her. She would be mad at the way he’d handled the situation – no surprises there.

They argued fiercely, she cried, he gave in and comforted her. The same story as always. They were constantly on repeat like a record spinning without a DJ. He didn’t mention the kiss being his motivator to rip Stefan’s heart out. No, he left a few parts out that she didn’t need to know. He was sure the blame would fall on him anyway, it always did. Now that Klaus was gone, he was the scapegoat for all wrong doings in Mystic Falls. Luckily he didn’t give a damn anymore.

He’d rescued his brother and he would be fine. Now he could go back to not caring. His job was done.

After a few days went by, he started to become troubled. He tried to ignore the feeling, drinking to aid unconsciousness in the night, but he couldn’t ignore it completely. Stefan hadn’t come back and no one had heard from him. He’d been too harsh with him, made a mistake. The longer the days stretched on the more he knew it was true. He knew Stefan could look after himself. He wallowed in his own pity – that was who he was but he was still strong. He was still a fighter and he had so much to live for. Then again, that was the person he’d known before the safe. This new Stefan was so different. He was needy, afraid and apparently gay?

He couldn’t shake off the wrongness of it. How did someone change so completely? The trauma must have been so much that it had changed him to the core. Damon had been sure that Stefan would still be the same person fundamentally. That he’d still react as he would have done, it would just take a little time for that to happen, but this new Stefan hadn’t behaved anything like he’d expected.

He found himself actually reading some old psychology text books to try and understand what was going on in Stefan’s mind now. The only conclusions he came to, were that he couldn’t foresee who Stefan may become now, what decisions he would make and he couldn’t underestimate his own importance in this. It wasn’t that Stefan’s sexuality had changed, it was that Damon was his world. He’d reacted stupidly to that kiss. He’d probably done more damage to Stefan than being locked in the safe had and it began to cripple him with guilt.

Once a week had gone by, bodies started to appear in the woods, new reports and all. He knew then that he’d fucked up big. The arms and legs of the bodies were always ripped off and scattered and that meant something big. Stefan didn’t care. Stefan always tried to put the bodies back together again because he felt remorse afterwards but now he wasn’t bothering to. He just ripped them apart and left them where they fell.

“Damon what’s happening?” Elena had cried fearfully. “I thought you had this? I thought I could trust you help him?”

“You love him so much, why aren’t you out there looking for him?!” He shouted back angrily and they’d fought like cat and dog.  
“Why would he turn it off? Why? Why wouldn’t he call me?” She’d sobbed.

“Newsflash – he hates us Elena. You let the cat out of the bag and now he doesn’t trust anyone. Why the hell would he when he thinks we were playing him along?”

“You have to talk to him, do something before we lose him.”

“If he’s turned it off, there’s nothing I can do to make him turn it back on.”

“You made me. Think!” She said and he shook his head.

“That was different, you still had your memories, you knew who you cared about.”

“He cares about you. You are the one who’ll be able to save him from himself. It won’t be because he loves me, it’ll be because he loves you. You’re his angel.”

He scoffed at her comments and she grabbed his arms shaking him. He knew he had no real choice here. She was right. If anyone stood a chance at getting Stefan to turn his humanity back on, it was him. If he could still reach him as this angelic figure whom Stefan had placed so highly in his mind, there was a chance. Maybe he’d have to play the part a bit more convincingly.

Maybe, he could pretend to be what Stefan thought he was.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 TNB

He hadn’t had to search long before he found him. Stefan was being careless now that he didn’t care if he was caught. It made Damon shiver in recollection of their first few years as vampires. Stefan hadn’t cared then about getting caught, he’d felt almost omnipotent to it all and had discarded bodies throughout their house until Damon had left Lexi to get him in order.

Perhaps there was still a little of the Stefan he’d known at work somewhere buried deep in his subconscious.

He found him in a fancy mansion, an hour away from Mystic Falls. He’d moved in, compelling the owner to allow it and the rich family, who were the proprietors, were now simple house slaves at Stefan’s beck and call. He’d slammed the door in Damon’s face and laughed at his appearance. Damon felt his chest tighten in fear and pain.

He remembered Stefan like this. He was ruthless. He was quite capable of killing Damon without batting an eyelid. He had to be careful here. He kept returning, practically beating down the door to the house until Stefan finally allowed his entry.

“Eager aren’t you?” Stefan had huffed and indicated for him to take a seat across from him as Stefan pulled a half conscious girl onto his lap and bit into her neck.

Damon watched, frowning at how rough he was feeding from her. Damon didn’t particularly care about the girl’s life, or the bodies he left strewn around. Not really. It was the utter lack of anything he recognised in the person in front of him that made him keep returning.

Stefan grinned, pulling his mouth away and licking his lips.

“You want some?” He raised an eyebrow and Damon rose from his seat and took the girl from him, biting into her bosom and drinking as Stefan chuckled and watched excitedly.

Damon made a point of letting himself enjoy her as she drained and stopped breathing. Stefan seemed impressed at his lack of remorse for death and he sat back ready for the verbal battle. Game on.

“So, Mystic Falls such a bore that you came looking for a new playmate?” Stefan crossed his arms and smiled at him.

“Is that what you are?”

“I could be. Two bastards together could be fun.”

Damon huffed a little at his use of words.

“Well that’s what you are isn’t it? That’s what you tried to tell me all along. That you were a soul-less bastard?”

Damon swallowed his anger and hurt and gave a fake smile in response.

“Not so evil though are you? You were tamed, probably by brown eyes right? She’s got that effect on weaker people.”

“You mean on you?” Damon countered and he nodded.

“On Stefan I suppose. Poor, pathetic Stefan Salvatore. Thank god he’s dead.”

“Oh, I get it. So you’re not Stefan anymore.” Damon leaned forward, staring at him with intensity and Stefan stared right back at him, blank.

“He drowned at the bottom of that lake, so if you’re here for him, then I guess you better head back home to the journals.”

Stefan was so blank, so matter of fact. “Unless of course you want to stay here and play. I wouldn’t mind.”

“This is your idea of playing?” Damon swallowed and indicated to the bodies scattered around the room and Stefan grinned.

“Why, did you have something else in mind?” Stefan leaned forward and looked at Damon’s body, letting his eyes roam and Damon tensed and frowned in disgust.

“What’s going on with you?” He said and Stefan chuckled.

“What? Can’t a man appreciate a pretty face? Yours was the first one I saw, why would you be surprised I’d want you.”

“Because I’m your brother.” Damon said through gritted teeth and Stefan sat back and sighed.

“So? Grow a set. Weren’t those your words to me?”

“Yeah, about that. I’m sorry ok? I want you to come home with me Stef. I need you.” Damon swallowed again as he tried to imagine what Stefan’s ideal of him would say.

“Stef. So familiar. Why do you even care? You’re job was done – you fucked up my life, then you found me and stood me on my feet again. Guilt absolved. Job done. Now leave me alone will you?”

“Not until you turn it back on and deal with your problems Stefan. This isn’t dealing, this is hiding.”

“Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing? You still think it’s your job to get me back to normal because only then will that twit of a girl give you back your balls. You want free of your obligation? Fine. I forgive you. I don’t hold you responsible for anything shit that happened to me. Do you know why?” He paused for effect as Damon paled and studied him. “I deserved everything I got.”

Stefan stood up and moved around the room, stepping over bodies as Damon tried to breathe and think. Stefan brought out a bottle of brandy from the cupboard and opened it, putting it to his lips and drinking a gulp. It was the same brand as the bottle they had shared at the Grill when they’d talked. Damon tried to remain as impassive as possible as Stefan offered it to him, but Stefan could tell from how tense he was, that the correlation was not lost on him.

Stefan took a seat again and watched him with interest as Damon swallowed a mouthful.

“The person I was, got himself trodden on because he allowed it to happen. You knew that all along didn’t you? You tried to teach him not to care and he demonised you instead. Everyone does. Those girls, the way they spoke to you. Man, why the hell did you put up with that?”

Damon looked him in the eye. Some of what he was saying was true. It still burned him though. He’d been tamed a little by Elena, out of his love for her. He knew it had made him weaker. Even now that they weren’t together and she blamed him for a lot of what happened with Stefan, he bent to her will because he still loved her.

“It doesn’t bother me.” He said trying to look smug. “I’m happy to be the bad guy. I revel in it.”

“Sure you do. That’s why you care so much about me. As long as I am the good one, you can stay being the bad one and pretending that that is who you are.”

“What are you babbling about?” Damon sighed, rolling his eyes.

“No one questions why you do things do they? No one cares how you feel because you’re the bad guy. No one tries to help you feel or care because they don’t think you’re capable. It makes it easy for you to convince yourself of that same thing, rather than admit you love me. You love that girl, but you love me more.” There was hint of amusement and playfulness in Stefan’s tone that made Damon clench his jaw and scowl at him.

“Don’t lie Damon. I’m all you’ve been thinking about and all I wanted was a kiss.”

“What a delightful ego you’ve got there.” Damon snorted and drank from the bottle again.

“Has the guilt kept you awake? I bet it has, hasn’t it? You failed your poor, broken, little brother again and now he is the big bad wolf.”

“Please, you’re no wolf Stefan. You may have flipped off your humanity switch but you’re still hiding. Now turn it back on and let’s sort this, before I have to put you down for a while for your own good.”

“Oh?” Stefan rose from his seat challengingly and Damon did the same, setting down the brandy. “What are you going to do big brother?”

Damon stood ready to fight and Stefan laughed at him mockingly.

“And if I did turn it back on, what are you going to do then huh? You couldn’t handle it before. What happens the next time I try to kiss you or touch your body?”

And there it was. 

Damon’s blood drained from his face and Stefan smiled happily.

“Because I did. I worshipped you. I thought I might actually be in love with you. It didn’t matter if you were my brother because you saved me! You were my angel.” Stefan put on a mocking tone of desperation and Damon tried to take a breath.

Stefan took a step forward and Damon growled, his vampire face coming to the surface while Stefan remained calm.

“Which one would you prefer? The incestuous longings of a broken brother? Or the new improved, fun version. You could stay with me. We could make this state ours. We could have so much fun here and you could teach me things. Be my brother. Or you could nurse a pathetic wreck who wants nothing more than to lie in your arms and touch you…inappropriately.” Stefan leaned further in towards his face and whispered the last word, winking as he did so and Damon took a step back. “The choice is yours, brother.”

Stefan didn’t see the fist coming. He fell backwards with a crash as Damon jumped on top of him. They wrestled furiously, snapping with fangs and head butting each other until they were bloodied and irate. They were equally matched and they knew it. Damon had to do something to put him down so he could figure out his next move. Something Stefan wouldn’t expect.

He pinned him down and placed their mouths together. Stefan paused in surprise and Damon kissed his lips, biting his bottom one as he did so and Stefan relaxed his hold and stopped fighting in shock. As soon as he stopped fighting, Damon carefully pulled out his vervain needle – his insurance that he would bring Stefan home.

He prepared himself, jolting in surprise when Stefan took control of the kiss and pushed his tongue inside of his mouth. He closed his eyes and tried to pretend it was anyone but his brother as he lured Stefan into a false sense of security, kissing him back, until he jammed the needle into Stefan’s thigh and pushed the vervain inside of him. Stefan shouted into his mouth, a strangled cry of shock and disbelief and Damon tore his mouth away, wiping it and gasping for air as Stefan frowned in pain and looked up at him.

He choked and made sounds of plea and Damon stood up and brushed himself off.

“Didn’t tell you about vervain did I?” He smiled and Stefan fought to stay conscious but lost and closed his eyes, becoming limp.

Damon stood for a few minutes while he caught his breath. That had been a close fight. Thank god he’d brought the vervain. He tried not to think about the fact that Stefan’s tongue had been in his mouth. He exhaled and closed his eyes. Stefan had made his feelings clear today. What he’d feared had been correct. Stefan with humanity had romantic feelings of love for him. Worse than that, they extended further into a sexual component. He shook his head. If he’d taken Elena with him when he’d been searching the lake that day, this would all have played out so much simpler. If she’d opened the safe, perhaps Stefan would have fallen in love with her like he was supposed to. Instead, this had happened and he had no idea how to undo it.  
He swallowed his fear as he looked down at him again. He would have to figure this out later. Right now, the most important thing to do was to get Stefan back home and force him to turn it on again. Not that Stefan having no humanity was a bad thing, if he could only keep his profile low and didn’t endanger them. There were plenty of vampires who functioned perfectly without their humanity. They were just careful about it. But like this, as this new Stefan, he was a wild card and he was dangerous. Too dangerous to be left on his own and Damon had no intentions of joining him and having to keep him in line.

He bundled him into the trunk of the Camaro yet again and set off towards Mystic Falls. The drive was quick and uneventful. Blessedly Stefan didn’t wake at all. He’d given him a fair dose of vervain to keep him down for a while, not just to weaken him. He dropped him onto the carpet in the study as he put the next part of his plan into action. He chewed his lip as he considered it. He hadn’t told anyone about his idea. This was the last straw of his plan and his patience. Talking wasn’t going to work, he felt sure of that. Fighting wasn’t going to make Stefan turn it back on either. He had a high pain threshold and he could hold out until Damon gave in if he tried to beat him into turning it back on. Elena was nothing to this Stefan so her pleading would mean nothing to him either. This could be the only way to bring him back.

He took a deep breath and dragged in the safe, laying it next to Stefan’s body. He hoped to god this would work. He opened the lid and lifted Stefan up, placing him inside of it. Stefan stirred as Damon stood back and looked down at him.

“I’m sorry brother.” He mumbled and Stefan opened his eyes.

“Damon, what are you doing?” He groaned and then he realised where he was. “What are you doing?” He sighed calmly.

Damon chewed at his lip and Stefan tried to move to sit up. His body felt so weak. He grumbled and fought to move as Damon just stared down at him.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m being your angel.” Damon answered and slammed the lid down, sealing it up tight as the darkness surrounded Stefan once more.

Stefan looked up, reaching to touch the lid as his eyes failed him. He could feel every bump and scratch on the lid that he’d made during his year inside, pounding and clawing at it in desperation and fear. As he thought on that he began to chuckle. Damon was such an idiot. Did he actually think that Stefan cared if he locked him in here? He felt nothing and it was bliss. Hell , being in here might actually help him meditate for a while and get some peace. Splendid.

“So what’s the plan Damon?” Stefan chuckled. “Leave me in here until I promise to turn it back on? We know what happens if I do that?” He teased.

Damon stayed silent and Stefan smirked to himself.

“Oh please brother take me, take me…”Stefan whined in a mocking voice. “I love you so much! Kiss me!”

He made some kissing and sexual noises and heard Damon’s heavy breathing outside of the safe. He smiled victorious. Damon was too easy.

“Oh Damon, my angel, make love to me…” He cried out and heard Damon growl and leave the room.

He laughed whole heartedly until his body shook and he wiped tears from his cheeks. This could be fun, a nice distraction from killing randomly and having no real feelings. If he was to be honest, having no emotion was rather dull but at least it was better than being a crumbling wreck of a man.

He heard footsteps coming back into the room and he listened intently. There was a pause in movement and he strained his ears to pick up on what Damon was doing. There was a vibrating electrical sound suddenly, making the safe shake slightly and tremor and he frowned trying to place it. It sounded like a drill. What would he need a drill for? The safe was already locked secure. There was no way Stefan could get out. He tried to shout to ask but the drilling sound blocked out if there was any response from Damon at all. A tiny pinprick of light opened at his feet and he squinted at it in surprise. What was Damon doing?

“What are you doing?” He called out but the drilling began again.

He lay silent, listening to his heart beat as several more holes were drilled at his feet before the noise stopped.

“Turn it back on Stefan. Don’t make me do this.” Damon’s voice warning him.

“What? You going to drill into the box and through me like in a magic show? Those magic boxes are faked with mirrors brother. Or did you always believe it was real?” Stefan mocked him and Damon’s tone became colder, calmer.

“I’m warning you. This is your last chance to turn it back on.”

“Go ahead! Good job! You really are everything you said you were, bravo my bastard brother. Bravo!” Stefan cheered and sniggered to himself.

He could handle pain but Damon wouldn’t be able to handle the guilt. He’d already proved he couldn’t deal with strong emotions like that. 

There was silence again. He listened carefully. Nothing happened. Then he felt something strange. A coldness in his legs. He shifted uncomfortably and felt it. Wet, coldness. He tried to look down but all he could see was the small amount of light coming through the holes at his feet. He stared at them in question when he saw the water coming through. He frowned in surprise and opened his mouth. Damon was pouring water into the holes.

He gave out a half laugh, half gasp in surprise and began to chuckle.

“Is that your plan? Really? How original!” He laughed, but Damon didn’t answer.

The water continued to pour in. His feet were almost submerged now and he kicked at the water reflexively in discomfort. He hadn’t missed the wet at all.

“Damon!” He shouted, still no answer. “Damon let me out and I’ll do it ok?”

He tried to sound as convincing as he could. He had to sound fearful so Damon would believe he was in distress and willing to play. Then he would rip his heart out and feed it to him. Enough was enough.

The water continued its slow journey upwards until his back was soaking and the water level began to increase around him.  
“Damon! Please don’t do this to me!” He cried out with his best acting voice. “Damon I’m scared, please!!”

Why wasn’t Damon biting? Was he even still in the room? He listened carefully, tuning out the sound of the water running in and heard Damon shift. He must have been kneeling by the safe but now he was standing and walking away.

“Damon! Damon help me!!!” He shouted out but Damon’s footsteps continued to walk away and he felt a shiver creep into him.  
He’d be back. This was just a scare tactic. Damon cared too much. He gasped as the water level rose and covered his chest now. It was icy cold, just like he remembered. He couldn’t control the burst of desperate breath that struggled to keep him calm. He put his hands up to the lid and tried to push on it. He knew it was hopeless though, it had been all that long year he had tried.

He felt a tiny tremor of fear creep into him and he bit his lip. No! No he wouldn’t turn it on. Not for that bastard. Not for any of them! He took a deep breath and coughed suddenly when some water reached his chin. He tried to raise his body above the level but he couldn’t move. He began to pant for air as he thought of what magic words would bring this to an end.

“Damon!!” He screamed.

No movement. The water made him cough again and he pounded on the lid.

“Angel!!! Save me angel!!!!” He screamed and this time he knew he felt fear – real fear, cold and heavy on his heart and he coughed and panicked.

No! No! Please, I can’t. I can’t! He tried to stay calm but his body was reacting to the peril he was now in.

“Please!!!” He cried out and the water suddenly seemed to come to life and surged into his mouth, gagging him with its embrace. 

He fought to spit it out but there was nowhere to release it to the air. He was fully submerged and he panicked and screamed as every emotion he’d been repressing flooded into him faster than the water had. He screamed and screamed, pounding and clawing as he felt himself dying. He was drowning, drowning again and he would continue.

Drowning, screaming, drowning, screaming, drowning, drowning, always in the dark, in the cold, over and over and over and over. He screamed with his last breath of oxygen in his lungs and then it was over.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 TNB

He awoke, gasping and felt the water in his mouth. He panicked, trying to breathe again as the horrible nightmare that had been most of his life re-emerged in full technicolour. Had he just dreamt there had been anything but this? He struggled and screamed as was his routine. Why fight the routine? His body always pushed him to respond like this and there was no point in fighting it. He pounded on the lid, kicking with his legs desperately, failing to make any real impact as his vision began to darken again. At least the periods of him being alive again were brief.

Suddenly there was light above him and he squinted as he tried to focus his eyes. A face, a face looking down! Brown eyes and then hands reaching in to pull him from the water. He reached up desperately and allowed himself to be freed once more. He coughed violently as the girl helped him climb from the safe onto the carpet. He gasped for air wildly and looked around.

“Stefan oh my god! I’m so sorry!” The girl cried as she tried to help him up but he pushed her away as he tried to think.

“Where is he?” He coughed and she shook her head.

Damon walked slowly into the room and stared down at him and he looked up into his face. A moment passed between them.

“I…” Stefan croaked, unsure of what to say and Damon searched his face, checking for any signs of deception perhaps.

Stefan’s eyes filled with tears and he averted his gaze down to the floor. Damon seemed satisfied with that response and left the room again. Stefan exhaled and let the tears escape as he tried to glue back together all of his mind and feelings. He’d been a crazed monster. He’d killed so many people. He sobbed as Elena tried to comfort him, rubbing his back and whispering words of love.

“I would never have let him do this Stefan. I’m so sorry.” She whispered and he shook his head.

“No. He was right. He was right.” He sobbed and she kissed his shoulder.

He’d given Damon no choice in this. Damon had known his resolve not to turn it back on and this had been the only way to get him frightened enough to break through and turn it back on. Damon knew that Stefan had latched onto him because he had saved him. Clearly Damon had tried to recreate that experience, placing Elena as the saviour. Damon was smart. He’d planned her stumbling across this. It hadn’t been an accident that she had turned up here at this moment. Damon must have called her here so she would realise what he’d done and rip the safe open to get Stefan out, therefore becoming his new angel.

Well, it didn’t work like that.

Elena helped him to his feet and he looked down at the safe shivering. He knew Damon wouldn’t be able to understand or comprehend this, but despite being the one to put him through this trauma again, he’d actually saved him again. Not from the safe this time, but from himself.

Elena helped him to his room and ran a bath for him as he sat on the floor numb. The person that had been described to him as the ripper, he had most certainly become, even without his memories. Was that just fate? Could you ever re-write a person, start on a fresh page again or was it all really down to genetics? He’d thought that leaving Stefan Salvatore behind would give him the chance to be a new person, but in the end he’d ended up not so far off the worst example of what Stefan Salvatore had been. He shook his head. He couldn’t change who he was innately and neither could Damon. Damon was right. His only option was to try and rebuild with the help of those who cared and try to learn from who he’d been.

He wouldn’t ever be that same Stefan again, of that he had no doubt, but it didn’t mean that he wouldn’t become someone familiar to these people again. Perhaps he could have these relationships again. A friend, a brother, a confidante. Having people around you was what made life worth living wasn’t it?

Elena offered to help him into the bath tub and he shook his head and gave her a smile. Yeah, she’d been his girlfriend and they no doubt had had a physical relationship, but he still didn’t know her and he didn’t feel any stirrings which made him believe he wanted her in that way. Perhaps they’d come with time.

She left him to it and he paused, staring at the tub. He’d just been immersed in water, drowning again. The bath tub offered a similar environment. Should he just dry himself instead? The thought of a shower even made him uneasy. She had put bubbles and essential oils in the water and he inhaled deeply trying to rationalise with his fear. It was warm, it was comforting and it would help him. He nodded to himself and climbed in. It was warm and comforting and he closed his eyes. He could hear them both shouting and arguing with each other downstairs, inevitably ending up with Elena sobbing and Damon feeling remorseful. What a strange relationship those two had. It made him wonder how they’d been a couple at all. They had been though. Damon had taken her from him and the old Stefan had suffered so badly from that, that he’d tried to leave, instead ending up in the safe.

This time around he wanted things to be simple. He didn’t want the baggage but he wouldn’t ignore it anymore as he had been recently. He’d start fresh with them, give them that chance too and maybe they could move on together. He nodded to himself at that thought. Then he remembered what he’d said to Damon at the house he’d been hiding at and his stomach churned. He practically propositioned him, detailing all the sordid details about how much he lusted after him. It hadn’t been true. He’d done it make Damon freak out. In truth he didn’t know or understand his feelings for his brother really. He knew he wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to be near him, but he hadn’t considered any sexual scenarios. He’d only said that to get a reaction.  
It was clear that Damon believed everything he’d said. He’d kissed him as a way of getting him under control. He felt humiliated and hurt by that. How was he going to play this?

He lay in the tub until the water went cold and he rose and wrapped himself in a towel. The smell of the soap reminded him of that first night he’d awoken here, with Damon drying him off and tending to him. He sighed and sat down on the bed as he recalled it. Damon, his blue eyes so tender and full of brotherly concern and love. He’d begun to dress him when he’d awoken startled and he’d had to step back. Everything had gone so wrong.

He’d give anything to have Damon look at him like that again. He probably never would. Damon had thought he’d brought his beloved brother back home, instead he’d gotten this. This person who didn’t know up from down and was sure of only one thing, that he wanted to kiss him and be embraced by him.

He groaned as he dressed. What a nightmare. Damon had been right when he’d told him he needed to pick up his life again and grow a backbone. He had to start right now by going down into that lounge and talking things out with Damon.

He took a deep breath and descended the stairs. Damon had obviously moved the safe down to the basement as there was just a puddle on the carpet now where it had lain, with the closed off water pick laying on the floor. He shuddered at the sight of it and moved through towards the fireplace. This seemed to be Damon’s favourite room. He sat down and warmed himself as he tried to plan how to have this conversation. Brandy would help. He stood up and went over to the brandy cabinet, searching through Damon’s bottles until he found the one they’d drank at the bar that night they’d talked. It was also the same one he’d drank as he tried to spread Damon’s psychological guts on the table too, but he swallowed down that memory and pulled it from the cabinet. His hands shook as he poured two glasses. He’d never felt so nervous.

He waited patiently and eventually Damon appeared. He moved to the fireplace casually and put some more logs on the fire and Stefan took a deep breath.

“Feeling better?” Damon asked with his back turned and Stefan grunted in affirmation. “Good.”

“Can we talk?” Stefan asked and Damon seemed to take a deep breath too.

He turned around and gave him a weak smile, before rising and sitting across from him at a comfortable distance. Stefan motioned to the glass sitting on the table at Damon’s right hand and Damon looked down in surprise.

“Thanks.” He said and took a sip.

Stefan took a mouthful of his too, the liquid no longer burning his throat or making him cough. His body was too numb with adrenaline right now to notice.

“I don’t know where to start.” Stefan admitted nervously and Damon took another sip. “The things I said back there, I didn’t mean them.”

“You sounded pretty sure.” Damon commented.

“I was trying to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Damon nodded and looked down at the floor. Stefan felt his chest tighten.

“I don’t know what I feel, for anyone. I’m confused.” He said and Damon shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry I kissed you, I just thought I needed some connection to somebody.”

“I think you’ll find Elena a much better choice brother.”

Stefan nodded and drank some more bourbon.

“I don’t think about you like…”

“Stefan.” Damon said softly, discomfort evident in his voice.

“No, listen. I don’t think about you like that. I was just coming out with things. I don’t want to have sex…” He tried to explain and Damon was on his feet again swiftly, making him pause in surprise.

“We don’t need to do this alright? All’s forgiven, back to normal, whoopty doo. Let’s just move on ok? Going round in circles is giving me a migraine.” He huffed, sitting his empty glass down and leaving, heading for his room.

Stefan sat stupefied and speechless. He’d known this would be hard but did Damon have to humiliate him like this? He needed to explain and get it off his chest and instead Damon had just made him feel like a fool. He sighed unhappily and tried not to feel angry.

The next few days were terse at best as Damon continued to be aloof and pretend everything was fine. It most certainly wasn’t fine. Stefan couldn’t even brush past him without Damon practically recoiling. It made Stefan mad. He was trying and Damon just kept pulling his mind back to everything that had happened between them. How could he move on when Damon was behaving like this?

He poured his attention into reading the rest of his journals, despairing the further into them he read. He didn’t want them anymore. He saw no point. He’d known he’d feel this way but he’d had to give this old Stefan a chance before he threw him away entirely.

He tossed them into the fire one after the other as Elena and Damon both watched in shock.

“Are you sure you wanna be doing that brother?”

“Positive.” He’d answered, unflinchingly and Damon and Elena had both frowned nervously.

Stefan’s new page would start now. The fact that he was ridding his room of some of the sentimental junk he had kept for a long time seemed to unite Damon and Elena in their concern that he was making a mistake. It was the first time he’d seen them agree on something and he found it comical.

Nights brought his nightmares again, except this time there was no angel saving him at the end, just the face that looked like his, laughing at him. He managed not to cry out for Damon when they happened and he was so proud of that. He was dealing with it on his own. That’s the way it had to be. That certainly seemed to be the way that Damon preferred it as he never once commented on hearing the episodes as they occurred. Life fell into some semblance of normalcy and Elena began to relax and believe that Stefan was on the mend finally.

He’d taken to getting to know the blonde too – after all she wanted to be in his company so much and she was rather charming. He did feel better for having her around, he even laughed when he was with her. He could see how she would have been his closest confidante. The more time he spent with Caroline and Elena, the less he saw Damon and Damon seemed to relax too, even allowing an occasion squeeze of Stefan’s shoulder. Things seemed like they would be ok.

Elena went back to college, finally sure that Stefan would be ok and he waved them both off as both girls promised they’d call every day. It was just he and Damon in the house now. Damon busied himself in the library most of the time and Stefan gave him his space. Their first night alone in the house felt so strange and quiet. They had a blackout, thanks to a storm that had left them putting candles around the place. His room looked spooky in the dim light as he lay down to sleep. Darkness still made him feel on edge, but he wasn’t about to admit that to Damon. Damon thought he was right as rein again – still without his long term memory but ok otherwise.

As he drifted to sleep he heard the storm continue outside of his window and he shuddered. It’d be morning soon enough. His dreams seemed to reflect the weather though, full of strange turbulence and colours as he searched for something. He couldn’t remember what he was looking for but he knew it was important. He had to keep looking. He stumbled along a woodland path, trying to see with the aid of his torch when he came across a black safe. His heart stopped as he realised he’d seen it before. He reached down, noticing the safe was locked and pulled at the wheel. He had such an overwhelming sense of dread he could taste it in his mouth. Whatever was in here, he wasn’t going to want to see, but he couldn’t stop himself. He had to know. He had to!

The wheel clunked as it released and he took a deep breath and pulled it open. It was filled with murky water and seaweed and he knelt down to get a closer look when he saw it. It was him, his body mummified and frozen in terror. His mouth open in silent scream as the remains of what would have been hands reached outwards as though to grab him in desperation. He fell back screaming in abject terror.

He screamed like he’d never screamed in his life and within seconds he was being pulled from the dream into the darkness of the room. He screamed for Damon, no longer caring about the strangeness between them as he fumbled around trying to find any source of light. His door flew open and Damon rushed to him, scaring him even more and Damon threw his arms around him and whispered comforting words into his ear.

“I got you, it’s ok Stefan, it’s ok. I’m right here brother.” He whispered and Stefan sobbed in relief and clung to him.

This was the first real physical contact they’d had for so long and he tightened his hold as though Damon would evaporate. His breaths were ragged and urgent and Damon pulled back from him and took his hand, placing it onto his chest.

“Breathe. Breathe with me.” Damon urged and Stefan realised he was to copy him again.

He felt Damon’s heartbeat, felt his skin beneath his fingers – the warmth of it and he nodded. He couldn’t see anything but Damon’s eyes. His eyes were so wide from worry and concern and so, so blue. He kept his eyes fixed on them as they breathed together slowly and deeply.

“That’s it.” Damon encouraged gently and Stefan exhaled in relief and love for him.

His angel, looking at him with that same love he had when he’d pulled him from the safe that day. He leaned towards him tiredly and rested his forehead against Damon’s. Damon didn’t retreat this time, instead holding his hand to his chest and squeezing. Damon still cared. He still cared. Stefan felt his chest fill with love and longing at that realisation and he couldn’t help himself as he pressed his lips to Damon’s softly, desperately asking him to allow it.

Damon pulled back in surprise and Stefan reached up and held his face.

“Please. Please Damon.” He beseeched and Damon tried to move away. “Please, just kiss me please.” Stefan croaked and something in his tone made Damon pause and search his face.

Stefan didn’t know why Damon allowed it, but he halted in his retreat. Stefan took this lack of further action as being some kind of permission and leaned in the distance to hold his face again. Damon was holding his breath and Stefan stroked over one of his cheekbones as he pressed their mouths together again carefully. Damon’s lips almost quivered in fear but they were soft and plump. Stefan pulled away again and looked into his eyes. Damon still didn’t move a muscle, so he leaned in again and caressed Damon’s lips this time, moving his lips over them until Damon opened his mouth a tiny amount to take a breath. Stefan gently pushed his tongue inside and sighed into it, wrapping his arms around Damon’s tense frame. Damon was like a statue but he wasn’t stopping it, so Stefan kissed him with all of the love and devotion he felt inside. He circled his tongue around Damon’s and Damon responded but was still tense.

Stefan ran his hand up through his hair and tilted his head slightly as he deepened the kiss and Damon made a quiet sound of anxiety. Stefan stroked his back and gave some control over to him and found that Damon was kissing him back now. Stefan felt such elation, he was giddy and he moved them slightly, making Damon move backwards to the side so that Damon lay down on his back and held him by his waist. The kiss was so good, he could see Damon was getting lost in it as his eyes were closed peacefully.

He’d never imagined he could get this close to him, feel his skin, but Damon apparently slept with only boxer briefs on and so Stefan could slide his hand up his bare chest and revel in how soft his skin was. They began to pant in excitement and Stefan pulled his mouth away, desperate to taste Damon’s skin. He moved his mouth down to his neck and kissed there and Damon made a groaning sound in the back of his throat. Stefan descended to his chest and took a nipple into his mouth, sucking at it, which made Damon moan and shiver underneath him.

This felt right, it felt so right. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told Damon he didn’t think about sex between them but it didn’t hinder him now as he explored Damon’s chest, sucking and biting and making Damon writhe. He moved his mouth down to follow the hairs that trailed down into Damon’s boxers when Damon suddenly tensed and froze.

“Stop!” He shouted panicking and Stefan paused and looked up at him, his face flushed and wanting. “Get off of me Stefan.”

“I…”

“Get off!” Damon said urgently as though he had just realised what had happened – what he’d permitted to happen and he pushed Stefan from him fiercely and blurred out of the room, leaving the door to batter back against the wall.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 TNB

Damon was livid. When Stefan tried to talk to him it ended up coming to blows until their throats were sore from screaming at each other. Stefan had been stunned when Damon had accused him of taking advantage and molesting him. Apparently Stefan was sick in the head, he’d come back wrong, he was not his brother anymore and hadn’t been since he’d been taken by Silas.  
Every word ripped his heart from his chest until he couldn’t take it anymore and he’d packed his things and left. He had nowhere to go but he wouldn’t spend another second in that house. He had never hated someone so much in his entire memory – which wasn’t long to be fair but it was long enough. He never wanted to see Damon ever again and he intended to stick to that. He wouldn’t turn it off this time, no he wanted the anger, he wanted to feel it fuel his veins. He didn’t ever want to forget how Damon had made him feel. That way, he’d never make this mistake again, he’d never allow himself to be hurt like this again. His heart had been flayed raw.

He booked into a motel and drank himself unconscious. The next day he did pretty much the same thing, and the next day and the next day and the next day. Elena and Caroline both called and he was so angry, he couldn’t be bothered lying about it. The effort it took to concoct some story was too much and he’d come clean and told them everything. Both of them were shocked and had tried not to be too horrified but he could hear it in their voices. They’d never understand. How could they understand when he didn’t?

Elena offered to come home and help them sort it out but Stefan had refused point blank. There was nothing to sort. There was nothing between he and Damon any longer. They didn’t have a past that he could remember. He didn’t care about the 147 years they’d been brothers because they weren’t his years – they weren’t his life, they belonged to the Stefan who’d died – the one Damon grieved for and had wanted back. He wanted a clean break and this was the best way. He had grown fond of the girls now and he saw no reason to extract them from his new life but he made it clear to them both that he never wanted to even hear the name Damon Salvatore ever again.

Caroline was the most supportive and agreed that he would be better off in the long run. Elena on the other hand struggled with the idea. Despite all of the history and aggravation between her and Damon she couldn’t help but fear that Stefan needed his family and Damon was the last of them. She was someone very much bonded to her family though. She needed that connection to her roots, especially now that she was a vampire and he understood why she felt concerned for him in his decision.

“Maybe one day, you will be able to talk about it.” She’d advised but he didn’t think so. Immortality meant for a long memory – he’d never forget how much Damon had injured him when he’d ranted at him in pure unadulterated loathing and disgust.  
No. Never.

Then, Damon was missing.

Stefan had been drinking in his new favourite bar with a few new friends he’d made when Elena’s call alert began to play. He pulled the phone from his pocket and answered, feeling merry and slightly inebriated.

“Hello!” He smiled and instantly he felt her tension crackle down the phone line like electricity.

“Stefan I need your help.”

“What’s wrong, are you ok?” He asked filled with concern.

“It’s Damon.” She said and he hardened immediately.

“I told you.” He warned.

“Please Stefan, he’s missing. He went to get some information out of one of my professors who we think is doing weird experiments on vampires.” She explained and he smirked and took a swig from his bottle of beer.

Only in this girls’ immediate circle could weird shit like that happen. He almost wanted to laugh. Had it not been for the fear so prominent in her voice he would have.

“And?”

“The professor did something to a vampire and he attacked Damon. He was feeding from him. I had to kill him before he killed Damon.”

“Poor Damon. That’ll be a nice change for him to be the damsel in distress.” He did chuckle this time.

The thought of Damon being fed on and wounded filled him with immense pleasure.

“I had to leave him there to clean up while I dealt with the body. I left him with the professor still tied down. He was supposed to compel him to forget and come back to my dorm but he never came back. He’s not answering his cell either.”

“Maybe he’s on a bender. You know how he gets Elena. The guy’s a selfish douche.”

“Stefan, I know how you feel about him but trust me, he wouldn’t leave me to worry like this.” She said pointedly.

“No. Not you.” Stefan clucked his tongue while he considered that.

It had been obvious from the start that Damon still had feelings for the girl. He’d let her boss him around and no man put up with that unless they were either getting something out of it or weak with longing for them.

“Stefan, I’m worried something’s happened to him. No one has seen the professor either. What if…what if the professor has him and he’s…” Her voice broke as she thought on it and Stefan chewed his lip.

“What kind of experiments?” He asked, dropping his bottle in the trash and heading towards his car as she described how Jesse had began to hunger for vampire blood not human and he’d gone rabid as a result.

The thought of experimenting in animals bothered Stefan. He didn’t like the thought of something sentient having their bodies used against their will in clinical trials for drugs, so the thought of it happening to a vampire made his stomach churn.

“Please I need your help to find him.” She begged and he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“I’m not doing this for him. I’m doing this because I don’t agree with experimenting on an unwilling participant ok? If that is what’s happening.”

“Ok.” She accepted and gave him the address to meet her.

They would start at the lab where she’d last seen Damon.

They searched the lab but found nothing suspect, other than a strange vagrant of an odour. Neither of them could identify it exactly and put it down to chemicals being used for sterilisation. They went to see if the professor was in his lecture theatre and also found nothing. They were at a loss. He spent the night with both girls as they told him all of the details of life at Whitmore – everything that they’d seen going on and he grew a little concerned. Something was very much up with this place and he didn’t like it. It made his hairs stand on end.

Another day passed without much more to go on until Stefan was introduced to the Professor’s ward. Elena had feared that Stefan wouldn’t be able to remain focussed should he have known about the human, but Stefan played it cool and let her take the lead. He befriended the human and when she had gone off to a class that she had been told she would flunk unless she attended, he saw his opportunity.

He met up with the human and engaged him in the usual frivolous conversations that seemed enlightening to the college herd. This kid was different though, smarter and changed by a tragic family background that Stefan could associate with – not that he recalled his but it was the same difference he figured. He manipulated the boy into inviting him into one of the houses on campus, hoping to find clues as the kid’s link to the professor, when he felt a stabbing sensation in his back and lurched forward onto the floor gasping.

He cried out and tried to look up to his captor when the vervain hit him and he collapsed.

His brain spinned in a murky stupor, his eyeballs rolling around in his head as though there was a roller derby happening in his head. He groaned and opened his eyes, trying to focus. Brick walls. No, stone. Stone walls. He blinked in confusion and sat up, feeling cold cement beneath him. Where the hell was he?

He let out a puff of air and looked around him. Iron bars. He was in some kind of cell. He looked around for his captor but saw no one. Just silence. Except there wasn’t silence. Someone else was breathing down here. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind and noticed a small barred space in between the walls. The space seemed to open up into another neighbouring cell. 

“Hello?” He called and moved towards the small gap, getting down onto his stomach to look through.

He could see bare feet and the legs attached to them but no face. He opened his mouth to speak again when he noticed blood on the feet and he paused.

“Hey. Are you ok in there?” He asked and heard a small huff.

“Be quiet or they’ll hear you’re awake.” A voice whispered and he frowned.

“Where are we?” He whispered more carefully, looking around to ensure there was no movement outside of the cells.

“Hell.” The whisper came back and he clutched at the small bars, testing their strength.

“Don’t bother Stef.”

He stopped at the mention of his name and tried to peer through to see his neighbour’s face.

“Damon?”

“The one and only.” The voice replied.

“What is this?” He asked and Damon finally moved into sight.

When Stefan took in the sight of him he gasped and Damon gave him a knowing look. He had blood all over his clothes and he looked weak.

“What happened to you?” Stefan asked, his eyes wide.

“Dr Mengele. What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you.” He replied and Damon snorted. “Yeah, kind of a surprise to me too.” He hit back and Damon’s face fell as he looked to the ground.

“Are you hurt?” Stefan enquired and Damon smirked.

“I’m an unwilling lab rat Stefan, what do you think?”

“How about you cut the crap and just answer the question?” Stefan sighed and Damon paled.

“I’ll be ok.” He answered quietly.

“We need to get out of here. Elena knows there’s something going on with this professor guy. She’ll find us.” Stefan said confidently.

“Better hope it’s soon coz there’s no other way out of here.”

“So you’ve been here a few days and you’re an expert are you?” Stefan huffed, raising himself on his knees so that he could test all of the bars, one at a time.

“After a few years you get to accept it brother.”

Stefan froze.

“Huh?” He lay back down on his stomach to look at him in query. “What are you talking about, years?”

“I’ve been here before.” Damon said gravely and the hairs on Stefan’s neck began to rise.

“When? What are you talking about?”

“In the fifties. Courtesy of Jo Salvatore. Asshole sold me over as a medical slave.”

“What? How long were you here?” Stefan could feel his sense of urgency rise with every comment from Damon and he grabbed the bars that separated them.

“5 years.” Came the reply and Stefan felt horrified.

“5 years?! Where was I?”

“Calm yourself. You haven’t forgotten. I didn’t tell you.” Damon looked to him.

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I got free and we were still on the outs back then. What was the point? It would have just been another thing for you to feel guilty about and it wouldn’t change anything.” Damon was so matter of fact.

“Ok, I’ll roll that one around my brain a bit later. How did you escape?” Stefan pushed and Damon shook his head. “Tell me. It’s not like I’m going to think you’re any worse of a person than I already do.”

Damon looked him in the eye at that comment and clenched his jaw.

“You don’t want to know.”

“Just tell me, if there’s a way we can escape…”

“There isn’t.”

“Well how did you do it?”

Damon sighed and brought his knees in towards his body. Stefan didn’t miss the flash of pain that crossed his face and he held his breath.

“Damon, what did they do to you? What will they…” He swallowed feeling nauseous and Damon closed his eyes.

“Just pretend to be out of it when they come. It’ll buy you some time.”

His words only made Stefan feel more afraid and he tightened his grip on the bars. Damon moved a little closer to him when they both heard a gate being opened up at the top of some stairs. Stefan looked to Damon afraid and Damon adorned a mask of indifference and stood up fully, using the bars.

Stefan couldn’t see him, only his feet as he curled into the foetal position and pretended to be unconscious. 

“You have some company. Hopefully you’ll get on as well as you did with your last cell mate, ay Damon?”

Damon just growled in response and took a step back from the bars.

“Feeling feisty?”

“Bite me.” Damon gave a mirthless snort and Stefan cracked his eyelids open enough to see Damon’s feet flex in anxiety as the cell door was opened and he was pulled forward.

Stefan held his breath, his heart racing as he heard Damon being pushed along the corridor and up the stairs. What was this place? He moved to sit up when he noticed some writing on the wall, behind where Damon had been sitting. He looked at it closely.

“D.S 53’.” It read and Stefan felt his blood run cold.

Damon hadn’t been lying. He’d been a prisoner here and he’d never told the old Stefan…him. He sat up and resolved himself to check around the brick work. There must be something he could dislodge or dig through to find a way out or at least a weapon. As he searched the bricks with his fingertips he heard a blood curdling scream from above that had him frozen to the spot. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as his whole body focussed on his hearing alone.

Another scream of agony. He knew it was Damon. His knees felt wobbly and he fell onto them as he gagged into his hands. Nothing came up but he still wretched anyway to no avail. He panted as he tried to pull himself together.

There was silence for a few moments and then the terrible symphony began as Damon’s screams and cries echoed down through the basement continuously until Stefan lay with his hands over his ears, he couldn’t bare it any longer.

Mercy, please! My god, have some mercy on him!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 TNB

Stefan lost track of how long Damon screamed for, but it felt the entirety of his life span as he trembled and held his ears. He wept unashamedly, partially from fear of what was going to be done to him and for what Damon was going through. He hated Damon but no one, no living creature deserved that kind of pain.

He was in the foetal position when the cage finally creaked up stairs and he held himself in terror. He could hear Damon being dragged along the floor and he closed his eyes tight. Damon’s body was dropped to the ground with a thud and the cell locked again. Stefan’s heart stopped as he listened to hear if they were coming for him now, but the person seemed simply to look in at him and then exit. He didn’t move a muscle until the gate was locked upstairs again and silence fell.

He crawled over to the small window between them and called to Damon urgently. Damon was out and looked like he’d been through a war. Stefan gasped and reached through the bars to touch him, to reassure himself that Damon was alive. Damon’s whole front shirt was blood soaked and Stefan was terrified to see underneath.

“Damon? Damon can you hear me?” He whispered urgently, pulling at Damon’s arm to bring him closer.

He didn’t have much strength but he managed to get a good enough grip on Damon’s arm to drag him closer to the bars so he could see his face properly. He reached out and touched his face gently. The soft touch seemed to rouse Damon and he exhaled a painful sound and opened his eyes slightly.

“Damon.” Stefan said in encouragement and Damon tried to breathe out the pain he was in. “What did they do to you?”

“I’m ok.” Damon croaked and Stefan shook his head.

“No, you’re not.” He said full of emotion and reached out for Damon’s hand.

Damon gave it to him and Stefan squeezed it. Damon’s eyes filled with tears which he swallowed down furiously and avoided eye contact with Stefan.

“I’m so sorry. They should’ve taken me instead. You’re already hurt.” Stefan felt ashamed and Damon closed his eyes. “I won’t let them take you again ok? I promise.” Stefan vowed and Damon let a tear slip out from the corner of his eye.

“I deserve this Stefan.” He mumbled and Stefan squeezed his hand again.

“No you don’t.”

“Nobody hates me more than you do. You should be happy I’m here.” Damon mumbled and Stefan exhaled in guilt.

“Even Adolf Hitler doesn’t deserve to be cut up while still alive and screaming Damon.”

“So I’m in his league am I?” Damon gave a weak smirk and Stefan shook his head annoyed.

“I don’t hate you.”

“Yeah you do, don’t go all soft on me now just because I’ve been dissected.” Damon chuckled and then tensed in pain as the movement sent pain rolling through him.

Stefan squeezed his hand through it and whispered comfortingly to him until he relaxed and swallowed convulsively.  
“Ok yeah I do. Doesn’t mean I can sit here and be happy that this is happening to you. I’m not a psychopath.”

“Like me.” Damon gave a brief smile.

“As if. Psychopaths don’t have any empathy or feelings. As much as you try to convince people otherwise, you care.” Stefan said and Damon grunted and closed his eyes again.

“I’ll get us out of here. Somehow.” Stefan vowed again and Damon fell into unconsciousness.

Stefan lay there, holding his hand for a while as he tried to think. He couldn’t let Damon be taken away and experimented on again and he had to do everything he could to stop himself being taken too. The threat of that was so imminent that it made him tremble. How could they escape? Damon said he’d escaped once. He had to make him tell him how. Maybe there was a chance they could do it again.

Damon was out for a few hours, leaving Stefan unnervingly alone with his thoughts as he became more and more tense. He wished they were in the same cell together. It would be a small comfort, but it wasn’t forthcoming. The gate creaked finally and Stefan began to breathe hard as footsteps descended the stairs. There were two sets of footsteps and Stefan stood up, ready.

“He’s still out.”

“We did quite a number on him earlier, maybe we should let him sleep it off?”

“No, if he’s out just now it’ll make it easier to open him up without him fighting us. Just lift him. I want to test how quickly lung re-growth forms.”

Every word made Stefan feel even more terrified and full of adrenaline. He heard Damon’s cell being unlocked again and he yelled.

“Hey, what about me? When do I get to meet the doctor?” Both men came around to his cell and looked in at him. He stood a step back, breathing hard.

“You’re awake? How are you feeling?”

“Like a lab experiment.” He snapped. “What are you doing to him?”

“Not your concern. Don’t worry about him, he knows the rules down here.” One of the men said and nodded to the other who moved back to resume opening Damon’s cell again.

“Wait! Take me instead. I’m brand new. He’s a bag of guts.”

“You want to take his place do you?” The original man asked amazed and Stefan gulped, staring him out.

“This one is pretty beat up still.” The man was in the other cell, moving Damon’s shirt aside to inspect him.

Stefan felt violated at that.

“Get your hands off of him!!” He growled and both men came to look at him again intrigued.

“What do you care, so long as it’s not you lying there?”

“He’s my brother.” Stefan hissed and they looked at each other shocked.

“Really? That could work.”

“Yeah. That’d be phase 4.”

Both men conferred in code as Stefan watched helpless. He had a feeling of dread as he watched. He should have kept his mouth shut. Both men turned to him and smiled.

“Ok Mr Salvatore, you have a deal.”

“A deal?”

“It’s your turn today.” One smiled and began to unlock his cell.

He took a step back in trepidation and tried to stay calm.

“After you.” One of them gestured towards the stairs and Stefan clenched his fists and exited the cell.

As he passed Damon he glanced in and looked at him. He gasped in horror at the sight of Damon’s chest. There were incisions all over it as though they had been removing pieces of his organs. He felt a push from behind that compelled him forward as he ascended the stairs.

The room above was a sterile, blindingly white medical room – like a surgical theatre and he halted in fear. There was an empty surgical table with straps for ankles and wrists and he was pushed towards it.

“What are you going to do to me?” He managed to croak when he felt the sharp sting of a needle in his arm.

He groaned and felt his limbs give way under him. The two men hooked under his arms and dragged him to the table, putting his ankles and wrists into the straps. It wasn’t as though they were necessary however, as he felt so weak he could barely move. He was frightening aware however and scared.

“Please, what are you…” He croaked and a large oxygen mask was placed over his face.

He tried to move his head away but it was held firmly over his mouth until he faded and gave in.

When he awoke he felt as weak as a kitten. It took all of his energy just to open his eyes in response to Damon’s voice. He grunted and opened them to see Damon’s blue eyes searching his face. Damon was holding his hand tight and talking to him soothingly. He frowned, trying to understand what was happening.

“Damon?” He whispered groggily and Damon pulled on his hand, bringing him closer to the bar between them.  
“Here, drink up brother.” Damon said and pushed a small glass of blood towards him.

Stefan reached out for it and drank it in a gulp gratefully. Damon watched him drink and licked his lips in the process. He looked a little better but not by much.

“Are you ok?” Damon asked and he took note of his body for a second.

“I’ve been drained.” He said and then frowned. “I feel strange though. Different.”

Damon nodded and hung his head sighing.

“Are you ok? I saw what they did to you?” Stefan asked and Damon nodded.

“Why are they doing this?” Stefan croaked, lacing his fingers with Damon’s for comfort.

“They’re trying to figure out how we can be used to advance human medicines and also how we can be used against other vampires. All that’s missing is a military uniform down here.” Damon quipped and Stefan just gazed at him, unblinking.

“We have to get out of here.” Stefan whispered and Damon nodded. “You escaped before, how did you do it?”

“You don’t want to know Stef.”

“Tell me.”

“It won’t work twice so there’s no point.”

“Just tell me.” Stefan squeezed his fingers and Damon sighed and took a deep breath.

He told Stefan the story of Enzo and his betrayal while Stefan listened on, not interrupting as he absorbed it all. When Damon was finished, he hung his head in shame and averted his eyes.

“I told you, you wouldn’t want to hear it.”

“You do care.” Stefan said and Damon looked to him in disbelief.

“That’s what you got from my story? Were you listening?”

“You had no choice. You tried to help him and you couldn’t.” Stefan pointed out and Damon looked away.

“I guess it doesn’t matter now does it? Fool them once…”

Stefan closed his eyes, feeling miserable and afraid and Damon lay his head down next to his. They’d run out of things to say right now so they just lay there together, side by side as much as the wall would allow and waited.

The next time someone came down the stairs for Damon he tried to fight, with every bit of strength he had as Stefan shouted and growled at them to leave him alone. Their shouts were pointless though and even though they knew that, they still had to. They couldn’t just do nothing. Stefan fretted the entire time Damon was above, unsure of what was happening. It was quiet up there. That’s should have made him feel better but in truth it actually frightened him more. What were they doing to him? 

Finally the gate creaked again and Damon was dragged down the stairs. Stefan stood up and held his bars, trying to see him when they dragged Damon to the front of his cell. He stepped back in surprise and looked at his poor, bloodied angel hanging limply, head down.

“Would you like some company in there? Saying as you’re family and all.” One of the men said and Stefan couldn’t believe his ears.

He stepped back further as they undid the lock and opened the door, dragging Damon in and dumping him at Stefan’s feet. Stefan picked him up immediately and dragged him over to the corner of the cell while the two men smiled at each other and locked them in again.

“Damon?” He whispered and tilted Damon’s head up.

Damon’s eyes were open. Was he conscious? 

“Damon?” He whispered again and stroked his cheek.

The gate clanged noisily upstairs and silence fell again. It was just the two of them now. Damon blinked slowly and Stefan frowned and held his face with both hands. Damon looked up at him and a glimmer of recognition shone across his features. He opened his mouth to speak when he tensed and his face cringed in pain. His face crumpled and Stefan held him comfortingly.

“What can I do? What’s wrong?” Stefan asked hurriedly and Damon tried to speak again but couldn’t.

Damon pulled on his shirt collar and Stefan stared horrified at an ugly scar running right across his throat.

“They cut your throat?” He asked in disbelief and Damon shook his head and pointed to his throat again.

“You’re thorax? Voice box?” Stefan guessed and Damon nodded. “They cut out your voicebox?” He asked horrified and Damon nodded. “Fucking monsters!” Stefan shouted outraged, but the vibration seemed to cause Damon pain and he panted for breath as he calmed himself and held Damon in his arms protectively.

Damon closed his eyes and Stefan wept for him, leaning down to kiss his forehead. All of the strange atmosphere when it came to touching between them, had vanished down here. Touch was the only comfort they had and now that Damon was in here with him he would do his best to comfort him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered and rocked him slowly. “I’ll get you some blood.”

Damon shook his head slowly, defeated and Stefan stroked his hair back from his face. Damon lifted his hand and pointed his finger in at Stefan’s chest and Stefan shook his head in confusion.

“What about me?” He asked and Damon rolled his eyes, making Stefan smile a little that even like this, Damon could display his annoyance.

Damon did a drinking motion and pointed at Stefan again.

“I’m not drinking it all when you’re like this.”

Damon nodded and Stefan shook his head.

“No, we’re both going to survive this. You will have my portion and don’t argue with me. You’re not allowed to argue until you can talk again, that’s the deal.” Stefan teased and Damon gave a weak smile in response.

“In the meantime, you can have me.” Stefan said and Damon frowned in confusion.

Stefan bit into his own wrist and offered it to him. He knew that it wouldn’t help very much. Human blood had the life essence that animated them but he knew that at least it would bring some comfort to Damon and it may help with the pain a little. Damon opened his mouth begrudgingly and began to drink slowly. Stefan relaxed back into the wall and tried to think.

At the very least he didn’t feel angry at Damon anymore. That was something. Who knew what it would mean for them if they got out of here. 

Maybe there was something to hope for.


	11. Chapter 11

This is for you Tay! So sorry I completely forgot to update here. All of my stories regularly get posted on fanfiction.net.

Chapter 11 TNB

A day passed and Damon was dragged for increasingly more horrible experimentations. It was as though they were doing it to punish him. Perhaps they were. He'd been the only person to escape this prison, so perhaps they were torturing him more viciously to prevent him from trying anything like that again. Stefan tried to fight them each time they came, but he was too weak. He'd been feeding Damon his blood too, trying to help him hold on. The pitiful amount of blood given to them daily, didn't make much of a difference to Damon's healing – especially when they were removing pieces of his organs.

This wasn't science. This was revenge mixed in and Stefan began to beg for them to cut him instead. Why always Damon? Why did they only take him and drain some blood? Damon never blamed him, in fact he barely spoke at all, the pain was so intense.

"Talk to me. I'm driving myself crazy with the sound of my own voice here." Stefan stroked Damon's forehead gently.

Damon swallowed.

"I don't want you to comfort me Stefan." He struggled.

They kept removing his vocal chords so he couldn't scream and today it had taken a lot if Stefan's blood to get his throat working again.

"Tough." Stefan said, holding him in his lap tighter and Damon gave a weak smile. "Not everything's about you."

Damon looked up at him.

"I need this too." Stefan added and Damon searched his eyes for a long moment before closing them again.

"I never thought I'd see you again." Damon mumbled and Stefan chewed his lip. "After…"

"I know. So did I." Stefan admitted.

They fell silent as Stefan wondered if Damon really wanted to have this conversation finally.

"I'm sorry I assumed…you wanted me too." Stefan said nervously and Damon exhaled.

Stefan waited for him to respond but he didn't.

"Isn't there something you want to add?" He prompted and Damon opened his eyes.

"No."

"No?" Stefan said in disbelief. "You don't think you over-reacted a little?"

Damon cringed in pain and tried to roll onto his side, off of Stefan's lap and Stefan let him as he looked at him incredulously.

"My baby brother tried to sleep with me, I don't think it was an over-reaction." He said and Stefan huffed.

He couldn't believe how thick-headed he was! Damon crawled a little distance away from him and turned his back as Stefan tried not to let anger over take his reasoning. He had to keep reminding himself that although he didn't think of Damon as a brother, Damon did still see him as the old Stefan. Damon's reaction was logical, as much as he hated to admit that.

"Why did you let me kiss you then?"

"Because you begged me." Was his response.

"I didn't beg you to lie down and let me touch you. You didn't stop me then." Stefan pointed out and Damon groaned.

"I didn't know you were going to do that. You told me you didn't have those kind of thoughts about me."

"I didn't know what I felt. If you'd given me a chance to explain that, you would have known."

"It wouldn't have changed anything Stefan. I can't give you what you want."

"And you know what that is I suppose? Like you know everything, everything about me. Well, newsflash Damon, I am not the same guy you remember. I never have been. I may be your brother but you're not mine. I don't remember that."

"It doesn't mean that I'm not Stefan." Damon looked back at him and Stefan held his stare until he averted his eyes.

"I just wanted to be close to you, that's all. I didn't have a plan. You were just the only person I felt connected to."

Silence fell between them.

"Why do you feel like that towards me?" Damon whispered, his body tightening.

"I don't know." Stefan sighed. "Perhaps something is wrong with me, like you said."

Damon turned back to look at him.

"No, I didn't mean that. I just…"

"I get it. I repel you." Stefan looked down at the ground.

"I just…don't understand how you could love me like that. I'm your brother, I'm a dude."

"Why does that matter?"

"It just does." Damon frowned.

"I don't have a preference for a gender all of a sudden if that's what you're thinking. I still find girls attractive, I just…don't feel anything for anyone. Everyone is blank." Stefan explained, wringing his hands together as he tried to put his feelings into words.

"Dissociative amnesia." Damon said.

"Huh?"

"That's what this is. I've been reading, trying to understand." Stefan sat up straighter and looked to him in interest. "There's nothing wrong with your brain, the memories are still in there, it's the trauma that has shut them out. Some people who experience it can have problems identifying with who they were. Personality changes can happen because of that."

"Is it permanent?"

"There's treatment – for humans anyway but mostly therapy to deal with the trauma and allow your brain to let you remember again." Damon watched for his response and Stefan stared back at him blankly.

"You want him back don't you?" Stefan said after a minute and Damon turned back to him fully, frowning. "You want me to talk to a shrink so you can have him back again and you can get on with your life and forget anything about me."

"Stefan, I…" Damon said sounding guilty and confused and Stefan clenched his jaw and fought tears as he nodded.

"I don't want it back, don't you understand? That guy, the things that happened to him…I don't want to remember that. He had nothing by the end. Nothing. His life was shattered."

"He didn't have nothing Stefan. I mean…you didn't have nothing. You had friends, you had me. You had…"

"You and my girlfriend were hooking up under my nose and as far as I can tell, I was on my way the hell out of there to escape you." Stefan said pointedly.

"What?" Damon frowned. "Do you remember?"

"It doesn't take a genius to guess what he would have done. Me? I'd have stayed and dealt with it. I'd probably have used you as a punching bag for a while first, but that's me. That who I am."

Damon closed his eyes and shook his head defeated. There was no convincing Stefan that he was still the same person. He had clearly divided himself from his memory.

"If you could see me as someone who wasn't your brother…" Stefan paused as Damon looked at him nervously. "Could you feel something for me?"

The gate creaked and brought both of their hearts into their throats as they looked to each other in fear. Not Damon again, please!

They came to the cell and Damon actually began to shake. Stefan stood up and came to Damon's side protectively.

"Trouble in paradise? You two don't look as chummy as earlier?" The man said and Stefan clenched his jaw.

"It's my turn today. He can't take anymore without more blood!"

"No worries, there's a table for both of you today. No waiting." The man said and they looked to each other in fear.

The second man came forward and they both entered. Damon began to hyperventilate and Stefan reached for him.

"Come on, the quicker we do this, the faster you are both back here together. Come on."

They knew they couldn't fight. They were both marched up the stairs, Stefan helping Damon walk, only to be pulled apart and separated into different rooms.

"Please! He's had enough. Please!" Stefan shouted, but he was ignored and strapped to the metal table like usual.

Both men were in discussion once Damon was placed in his room. Stefan strained against the straps to hear what they were saying.

"…phase 4?"

"Tomorrow."

Phase 4. What the hell was phase 4? He remembered them mentioning it that first day he'd blabbed that they were siblings. He had no idea, but he knew that it wasn't going to be good. Damon had called the doctor 'Mengele'. How apt that had been. A name that instilled fear, unparalleled in the world.

Stefan tried not to think on some of the survivors of that camp in Auschwitz. He'd met a few through the years and their stories were more horrific than anything he'd ever seen or experienced in his vampire life – and that was saying a lot. Humans had an enormous capacity for evil, vampires were kittens in comparison sometimes.

The doctor didn't seem to do anything different this time. He drained more of his blood as Stefan groaned and struggled. Less blood to heal Damon. As always there was another blood bag attached to his I.V. He had tried to ask what was so different about it. Was the doctor simply draining his blood and then putting some back in again? That didn't make any sense. Then he thought on the notorious Dr Mengele and his experiments on twins and siblings. Perhaps this was Damon's blood being put back into him after Stefan's was removed? What would that prove?

He was utterly unable to walk when he was returned to his cell. They dropped him onto the floor and he lifted his head looking for Damon. Damon wasn't here. He hadn't heard him scream either. He hoped that they hadn't cut his vocal chords again. It looked so painful. He pushed himself to a seated position and breathed, grateful for the support the wall gave him and he waited.

He waited for what felt like an hour before he started to worry.

"Hey!" He shouted. "Where's is he?!"

His voice echoed throughout the basement. He wondered how big it really was. Were there others here, locked away like they were?

Finally, the gate creaked and he sat more upright. There was no dragging sound and Stefan perked up, hoping Damon could walk and therefore it meant that he may not be so badly hurt this time. He stood up in fear when he saw why Damon wasn't being dragged. He was being carried by them both. He gasped and they opened the door and threw him in.

Stefan went to him and shouted in horror when he saw his face. His eyes were bleeding and his vocal chords had yet again been cut. He dragged him into his lap and cooed at him. There was so much blood on his cheeks, Stefan knew it could mean only one thing. His eyes…his eyes had been…He couldn't even contemplate it.

"Damon?" He sniffled, biting his wrist and placing it to Damon's lips.

Damon drank, but the more he drank, the more pain he felt. Healing was just as painful as the event. If it was human blood, it would be over much quicker but Stefan only had his own to share and not much of it.

Damon's face crumpled and he covered his eyes with his hands as Stefan tried to get him to breathe. Damon let out a soundless sob.

"Elena please find us." Stefan said up to the ceiling. "Please, Elena."

Damon couldn't speak, he couldn't see and that loss struck him harder than any other pain they'd inflicted upon him. Stefan couldn't imagine it. Well, actually, he guessed he could. Being in that safe for so long, there was no light. He couldn't see even his owns hands as he'd pounded on the lid and his screams made no real sound in the water.

Everything Damon had said about not wanting to be comforted vanished immediately as Stefan enfolded him in his arms and held him, kissing his head and whispering comforting thoughts. Damon grabbed a fistful of Stefan's shirt in his hand that he wouldn't surrender and Stefan moved them over along the floor to the wall so he could lean against it.

Damon had never looked so small and scared. Stefan wept for him.

"You're eyes will heal. Your eyes will heal." Stefan cooed to him. "Just relax and let them grow again."

They stayed holding each other as Stefan rocked him for hours. Damon trembled violently and Stefan began to try to distract him.

"When I was in that safe, I couldn't see anything but the blackness." Stefan comforted and Damon tightened his hold on his shirt. "I used to try and visualise somewhere beautiful. Somewhere I felt safe."

Damon turned his head into Stefan's chest and pressed his face against his skin.

"There was this place that came to me quite a lot. It was near a waterfall. The sun was really bright and warm on my skin. It felt calming. Grass under my bare feet and a little sand between my toes. I would pretend I could stand up and look at the sky. I'd pretend I could do anything – any kind of movement that the safe wouldn't allow me. I could somersault, swim, run…"

Damon exhaled against his chest and Stefan leaned his head against his.

"Think of a place. Where do you feel safe?" Stefan urged and Damon shook his head. "There must be somewhere. Some place that you feel at home?"

"Home." Damon croaked and Stefan smiled that his voice had returned.

"We'll get back there and then I'll take you to find my waterfall. Deal?"

Damon nodded, his face still pressed into Stefan's chest.

"Maybe we can start over." Stefan whispered and Damon nodded again. "Can you try something for me?"

Stefan swallowed nervously and Damon squeezed his shirt hold in response.

"Can you just try and get to know me? I know I'm technically still the same guy you've always known but that guy…isn't me. I don't want his memories or baggage. I just want to be who I am now. I can't be your brother."

Damon let go of his shirt and tilted his face up at him, trying to open his eyes. Stefan held his breath in fear that he would see nothing inside those sockets, but he relaxed when he saw that Damon had no intention of opening them. He stroked Damon's cheek softly.

"Do you really mean that?" Damon croaked. "You don't want to be my brother?" There was pain in Damon's expression and Stefan didn't know whether it was a result of physical pain or emotional.

"I'm sorry." He answered and Damon seemed grieved.

"Even when I didn't have anything else, I still had you." Damon seemed to be speaking more to himself.

"Your brother seemed to blame you for a lot of things. He spoke of you in those journals as a monster, someone out to ruin his life."

"Yeah, he was a barrel of fun." Damon gave a weak smile. "For a long time that was true though and then Elena…I just, I've never been loved back. I just couldn't let her go. I knew how much it would hurt you…him…and I still did it anyway."

"I don't remember. My life began when you pulled me from that safe and took care of me."

Damon grunted and pressed his face back into Stefan's chest again and Stefan gave him a squeeze. Damon didn't speak for a while, falling asleep as he wound his arms around Stefan's middle and held him. Stefan smiled to himself at the embrace. He couldn't help but feel like maybe Damon would finally understand him now. He'd laid his cards on the table and he'd been realistic about what he could expect from Damon. Of course Damon couldn't love back someone he thought of as his brother. If he could just let go of Stefan Salvatore and get to know him. Maybe they could be friends. He wanted more than that, there was no doubt, but he'd never explore it if Damon didn't want to. That was the best scenario from this situation. Perhaps being here had done them both a favour of sorts. It had brought them together again.

The blood arrived and the man who brought it to them stood and observed the way they were holding each other as though he was touched by it. Stefan had no doubt that these men had no conscience however – not when it came to vampires. Vampires were just rodents who didn't have feelings. Still, the way the man was looking in, Stefan felt a slight ray of hope.

Keeping his voice low and calm, so as not to rouse Damon he spoke to him.

"Please. Don't hurt him anymore." His emotion was reflected in his tone and it took the man by surprise.

He sat down the small glasses of blood and left, seeming a little rattled and Stefan let out a sigh. He'd let Damon sleep a little while before he moved him. The pain had been so exhausting for him.

He lay his head back and listened to the gate creaking open upstairs as the man exited, when he heard a whisper.

"They're ready."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 TNB

Damon accepted the blood gratefully without a fight this time and Stefan smiled relieved. His eyes had finally grown back through the night and he although they were still sensitive and bloodshot, Stefan felt comforted to see those blue spheres looking at him again.

He felt unable to offer any resistance today when telling Damon to drink all of the blood, had Damon attempted to argue, but he kept that fact secret from him. He'd given him a lot of blood to heal his eyes, much more blood than he should have and it was a lot of work to pretend he wasn't ailing really badly.

"You ok?" Damon asked, searching his face as Stefan wilted against the wall.

"I'm fine."

"That's my line." Damon smiled and Stefan did too.

"I'm just tired." He lied and Damon chewed his lip.

It was one thing for Stefan to hold him, Stefan's feelings were known, but for Damon to hold Stefan like that might incur more emotional attachment from him and Damon wasn't sure whether he should encourage it. He tried to keep a brotherly distance – not sure exactly what that was anymore, considering their circumstances. They'd been the only thing keeping each other going down here over this long week of captivity and torture. He had no doubt that if Stefan hadn't been here, he would have gone mad by now. He'd only lasted those 5 years because of Enzo too. This new experience here, added to by those 5 years of horror, would have been enough to throw him over the edge. Stefan had come to find him and had stopped that from happening.

Stefan's eyes drooped a little and Damon bit his lip considering his actions. Stefan did seem different. He wasn't entire unlike the old Stefan, he still had the same overwhelming compassion, but he spoke differently, he even had different facial expressions and mannerisms. If Damon was to be honest, he was more like him. Had Stefan picked up on Damon's habits like a ward? Perhaps not like a ward.

At times if he closed his eyes, it was as though it wasn't his brother. Perhaps Stefan was doubling his efforts to make him feel that way. That hurt a little. Stefan and he had had their problems but Stefan was his baby brother. He loved him. He missed him, truth be told and this new version of him grew less like the person he'd known by the day. There was a part of him that felt a little comforted because he just couldn't handle the incestuous applications of Stefan's current daydreams, but on the other hand he felt grief that the one other person on the planet that he felt connected too was disappearing into memory.

Did he want the old Stefan back? He did. Did he dislike this new version? No. You couldn't have it both ways though and he hadn't figured out how he was feeling yet. He couldn't deny that some of the things Stefan had said had rung true with him though. The longer they spent down here together, the more he felt as though Stefan was part of him. He didn't mind being physically closer than he'd ever been with another man because there was no assumption of desire or guilt, mistrust or blame. There was just comfort and love. Stefan's love for him was undeniable and right now, Damon needed that like a drug to drown out the fear and pain.

He looked over at him and Stefan sagged a little. How much blood had he given him? Probably a lot. He shouldn't have drank both glasses. He crawled over to him, startling him conscious again and opened his arms out to him, urging him to lean in and let Damon hold him in his lap like Stefan had been doing. Stefan's eyes widened in hope and Damon smiled.

Stefan leaned into his arms and Damon pulled him into his body, worried at how limp Stefan was. Stefan melted into him, putting his face to Damon's chest and throwing one arm around Damon's neck and Damon held him like a fragile piece of glass.

"Thank you." Stefan croaked, tearily and Damon kissed his head. "If you want me to talk to a therapist I could try. I'll be whoever you need me to be."

"Just be who you are." Damon soothed.

"If you need a brother, I'll try."

"You don't know how to though do you? You don't remember me."

"No. Maybe you can teach me."

"It's not something you can teach Stef and you don't really want that do you?" He paused and Stefan exhaled. "Besides, I was a terrible brother." Damon admitted. "I blamed you. I abandoned you. I took you for granted and stole your life while you lay at the bottom of that lake."

"Not me." Stefan reminded and Damon swallowed and nodded.

Silence.

"You sound like a douche." Stefan smiled and Damon let out a chuckle, while he shed a tear.

Silence.

"I want to understand why you feel like you do. I'm trying, but when I look at you I still see him. I probably always will." Damon admitted.

Stefan nodded and looked up at him.

"I know. I'm sure he would love you for it."

Damon gave a watery smile and Stefan began to sit up. Damon supported him, rubbing his back.

"I'm not such a bad guy to know, if you give me a chance. We could be friends." Stefan offered and Damon nodded and gave a half smile.

"I…need you Damon." Stefan paused. "You're the only thing that's real. Everything else is like a daydream. Sometimes I don't know if it is or not."

Damon exhaled as Stefan closed his eyes. It seemed as though a weight had been lifted from his weak form suddenly. Damon gave a small nod in response. He read about those kinds of feelings incurred by this kind of amnesia.

"Maybe we could start slow." Damon suggested and Stefan smiled.

"Baby steps." Stefan joked and Damon smiled too, feeling lighter than he had for months.

The atmosphere in their small cell seemed to lighten too. Stefan slept finally, with Damon at his side watching him. Stefan looked small and fragile. It roused a sense of protectiveness in Damon and he placed his arm over Stefan's waist as he studied his face. So like his brother and yet not. How could someone change so completely? If he got his memory back, would he still be different or would he just revert back? So many questions. The brain was such a wonder, especially a vampire brain.

Damon encompassed him with his limbs as they both slept, left alone for a whole day which was unusual. Damon knew better than to relax though. He knew they'd be coming back for them, so when they finally creaked that gate open, he sat up ready. They didn't know how much Stefan had been letting him drink from him. As far as they were aware Damon was surviving on just one glass of blood a day. Stefan's blood wasn't much help really, but it helped him have a human level of strength.

The two men came down the stairs and looked in at them silently. Damon pulled Stefan further into his side protectively and Stefan didn't rouse. There was something different about the way the men studied them as they opened the cell. The sound of the cell door opening woke Stefan and he sat up disorientated and looked towards them, waiting. They felt oddly calm as though they knew, whatever phase 4 was, was going to change everything.

The first man stepped forward and knelt down in front of them.

"Damon, how are they eyes?"

Damon spat at him in response and the man grinned.

"Would you like to be free Damon?" The man asked patiently as Stefan and Damon looked to each other suspiciously.

"With all of this hospitality?" Damon smirked sarcastically and the man smiled again.

"You just can't get the staff these days. Seriously though, we believe that you have contributed enough. Your presence is no longer necessary."

The man who Stefan had implored to the previous night, stood behind watching them both. He seemed tense. That was new. Normally he was as ambivalent as the other one when it came to dealing with them.

"What game are you playing?" Stefan asked and the man looked to him and clenched his jaw.

The man was nervous. Why would he be nervous when he was the mutilator? Stefan felt the hair on his body stand on end as the more talkative human turned to him.

"You on the other hand Stefan. We still need your assistance with a few things."

"Assistance!" Damon growled in outrage.

"Yes, Stefan you are very important to our work here and we need you for a couple more trials. Then you can leave and return home. What do you say? Are you willing to cooperate?"

"Go to hell!" Damon growled outraged.

"Damon leaves today." Stefan bargained and Damon shouted in disagreement. "Let him go now and you can do what you want with me."

"No!" Damon shouted in rage and lunged for the man, eliciting a swift shock from a taser aimed by the nervous man.

Stefan reached for Damon, leaning over him, as Damon jerked and gasped at the shock electricity running through his body. Damon foamed at the mouth a little and trembled, Stefan holding his face in his hands and talking to him calmly and soothingly until he stopped shaking.

Both humans watched their interplay closely.

"It's up to you Stefan." The talkative man offered calmly, too calmly and Stefan looked to him in torment.

"Yes." He said and Damon tried to grab his hands in disagreement. "Go home and live."

Damon only managed to make a choking sound in response and Stefan leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead, which was closely scrutinised by the two humans. The nervous human took a step back subtly. Stefan looked to him imploringly and he could smell how much the human was perspiring with stress.

"I must admit I'm surprised to see that you seem to share some real affection for each other." Mr Confident and talkative said and Stefan gritted his teeth.

"We're not the soul-less monsters you seem to think! We feel, we hurt and we feel fear you bastard." Stefan felt repulsed by the man, by what little they understood despite having cut them up and tested on them for days on end.

"And love it seems." Mr confident commented.

He stood up calmly, looking down as Stefan stared up at him waiting.

"Nigel." Mr confident called on the nervous one and the nervous came forward again and handed him a needle.

Stefan looked at it in fear and trepidation.

Phase 4.

Damon lay beside him, still unable to unfreeze his limbs as he shook from the electricity.

"What are you doing?" Stefan asked, feeling his stomach roll. "What is that?"

"Incentive to help us release you Stefan. You see vampires are no better than rats. What's best way to kill rats? To poison them and let them run loose into the world to poison each other. If that poison spreads quickly enough, you get rid of a thousand, with only the effort of tackling one." Mr confident explained.

"What are you talking about?"

"A plague Stefan. A vampire plague. Every other vampire you bite, will become infected and they will infect others and so on. I need to test how much you can resist the urge to do so once I infect you."

Stefan's eyes widened in disbelief and he shook his head.

"Your brother and you seem to share a deep bond. If you can bite and infect him of all people, then there will be no restraint in doing so to any others." Mr confident explained and Stefan sucked in a breath as he tried to breathe.

Damon twitched next to him but still couldn't move.

"Now you're blood has been mutated in order to carry the virus for us, you're ready for phase 4. The attraction to vampire blood instead of human. Once you feed from him, you won't want anything else and we can send you off into the world to rid us of your kind forever."

"But you need us! Our blood heals!" Stefan argued and both men remained silent for a few seconds.

"We've been conducting experiments for almost a hundred years Stefan. We have what we need from you." Mr confident said and Stefan felt himself struggle for air.

"Please. Please don't do this." He struggled and looked to nervous one. "We are sentient, we're not all demons. You can't commit genocide!"

"This isn't genocide, it's a culling Stefan. Go on Stefan, give your brother the plague. Bite into his neck and drink until he can't resist. He'll die slowly of course, becoming rabid so he can infect a few others before his body fails - he's only a vampire but you, you will live as something more now that you're the carrier. You can be our soldier."

"You said you'd let him go free!" Stefan shouted, blanching as Mr Confident tapped the needle with intent.

"He will be free Stefan. You'll give him peace finally, unless you want us to keep him here and continue with our experimentation on his organs?"

"No! No!" Stefan screamed, pulling at his hair.

Damon exhaled and tried to move and suddenly there was smoke and loud crashing sounds all around them all. The ground felt like it was shaking and Stefan tried to duck as he was thrown backwards into the wall with some force. He coughed and spluttered, unable to see through the smoke.

"Damon?!" He shouted and reached out along the floor.

He found Damon's hand and he crawled towards him, blinking as his eyes ran with water from the stinging smoke. He pulled Damon to him and held him as Damon coughed violently and lay limply in his embrace. Another loud bang sounded and he could smell fire. He looked up, towards where the cell door was and he couldn't see the bars. Had someone set off a bomb down here? Were the bars still there? There were pieces of rubble all around Stefan's feet as he tried to collect his thoughts. The humans may have been seriously injured in the blast, as it had been sufficient enough to throw Stefan backwards into the wall.

Stefan got to his knees and lifted Damon, throwing him over his shoulder with the last of his strength as he stood, trying to make out anything in the gloom in front of him. He moved forward, stepping over rubble, tripping as he tried to move his limbs.

"Stefan?!" A woman's voice. "Stefan? Damon?!"

"Elena?!" He called, still blinded by smoke and then he saw movement.

It was Caroline, blurring down – her blonde hair shining and luminescent in the smoke. He coughed as he tried to call to her and she appeared , kicking the bars away from the front of the cell. So the bars were still there then.

He moved forward excitedly, adrenaline now fuelling his limbs and suddenly Caroline had taken Damon from him in a blur. He shouted in surprise and tried to reach for him as Caroline moved out into the hallway. No! He didn't want anyone to take Damon from him. He had to take care of him!

"Stefan?!" Elena was there now, pulling at him as he frantically stumbled forward to reach for Damon and Caroline disappeared up the stairs.

Elena pulled him frantically and he finally realised that they were being saved. Caroline was taking Damon to safety. It was all ok. They were going to be free again. He grabbed Elena's hand and they climbed free of the rubble.

Elena moved ahead of him, pulling at him as fire broke out around them, when he tripped and felt a sharp stabbing pain in his foot. He yelled and looked down. Then he saw it.

The needle, discarded by his foot, the human hand clenching it, still animated and he lifted his foot and jammed it down so hard he heard the bones break. Elena paused confused and pulled at him as he stamped on the hand until there was no more life left in it. He couldn't see the body attached to it for rubble, but he knew the fire would take care of the rest anyway.

Elena eventually threw him over her shoulder and he yelled as she blurred them out of the basement into the white surgical room.

He blinked and cried in fear at the sight of it again.

"Damon?" He cried and Damon groaned from the doorway, still being supported by Caroline.

Stefan smiled relieved and they all shuffled out of the room into the night air. Caroline's car was ready and waiting for them, with a human driver – a familiar human indeed. The little bastard who'd gotten him captured.

He growled when he saw him and Elena held tightly onto his arm.

"No, Stefan he helped us! He's a friend! Get in!"

Caroline was already loading Damon into the back of the car, so Stefan didn't argue and jumped in the back to hold him. Damon wilted and rested against him as Stefan wrapped his arms around him. Elena jumped in the front and Caroline sat back with them as she tried to talk to then calmly. She could see how much shock they were both in and the sight of the blood stains on Damon's clothing were adequate enough to portray just how much trouble they had been in down there.

Try as Stefan did, he couldn't focus on anything anyone was saying to him at all. All there was was Damon - his bloodied, tortured angel. All attempts to get him to respond failed and as they drove back to the boarding house, both girls stopped their attempts, instead talking to each other, worried about what to do next.

Stefan pulled Damon further into his body and Damon lay his head into Stefan's clavicle. Stefan kissed his crown and whispered words of love and assurance as he closed his eyes and ears to the mirage happening before him. This could all be a daydream, a fantasy if it weren't for the feeling of Damon in his arms. Damon was earthing him to reality as though he were a balloon on a string.

They reached the boarding house in record time as Stefan stared numbly at the back of Elena's headrest. Nothing felt real. It took a few attempts at pulling at him before Stefan realised that they'd stopped and Elena was trying to get him to uncoil his hold from Damon and get out of the car.

He blinked groggily and released Damon as Damon sat up stiff and tried to urge him on. He got out of the car and reached to Damon again but Damon patted his hand away gently. Elena came to Damon's side and helped him to walk as Stefan followed them into the house. He felt numb. Caroline was talking to him, supporting his lower back as they walked and entered the lounge.

She guided him to one of the sofas and sat him down, checking his face and handing him a blood bag. Damon sat beside him and began to drink from one too so Stefan did so. Elena arrived, teary eyed and loaded with blankets that she fussed around covering them both with as she cried and apologised.

It was like white noise, her words and Stefan couldn't follow. He frowned at her and she reached out and stroked his face. He flinched and she sighed grieved.

"It's ok, Stef." Damon croaked beside him and he looked to him.

Damon nodded in reassurance and Stefan relaxed a little.

"It's going to be ok." Damon said and Stefan wilted, tired beyond belief.

Damon reached his arm over, drawing Stefan into his body and Stefan melted against him and closed his eyes as Elena rearranged their blankets to cocoon them both. Stefan exhaled, listening to the rhythm of Damon's heartbeat becoming stronger and more regular.

They were free, they were together and everything was going to be fine.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 TNB

They'd escaped. They were free. Or was it just a dream? Stefan couldn't quite make up his mind about it. His head was fuzzy and his foot throbbed where the needle had punctured him. Shit, the needle! He opened his eyes as he remembered and saw Damon's face. He blinked and looked at him. They'd fallen asleep on the sofa, holding each other surrounded by their friends and safety and now Damon's body heat encouraged him not to move. He had to. He had to check that he wasn't ill or dangerous to them. The humans had said that the needle contained a vampire plague and if that was true, it was now in his blood somewhere. He took note of his body. He didn't feel any different. Weird. He really had to check himself and make sure. He lay his head against Damon's chest for another few seconds, enjoying being this close to him. He slipped his arms around him and squeezed him slightly as Damon exhaled and squeezed him back.

I love you angel.

Stefan finally managed to tear himself away, lifting his head. He was tempted to place a kiss on Damon's mouth as he slept but he didn't want to risk getting caught this time. He separated their bodies slowly, enjoying the frown on Damon's face as he lost his bed partner and covered him with more blankets to replace his body heat. He crept away to one of the bathrooms and sat down to check his foot. It looked normal. There was no pain or sign of a puncture mark. Vampire healing was amazing. Perhaps his body's ability to heal and re-grow, meant that the virus had been conquered? No other illness or virus's affected vampires, maybe this one was the same and they had miscalculated. He'd never stop being amazed at vampire regeneration.

Satisfied he was fine, he stood up again and checked his face in the mirror. He looked pale but otherwise exactly the same as he had before. Maybe it had just been a threat to scare them. Maybe they'd simply been playing with both of them, trying to get one to kill the other out of fear that he was infected with something dangerous. Who knew? Now that the laboratory had been partially blown up, they might never know. He left the bathroom, yawning and hungry and moved to the kitchen, jumping when he saw Elena sitting drinking coffee.

"Hey." She said smiling with concern.

"Hey." He replied and she pulled him into her arms.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to find you. I thought I might be too late." Her voice was full of tears of guilt and he rubbed her back.

"You got there just in time." He consoled.

"Are you ok? Last night you frightened me. You were so different."

"I was on autopilot I guess." He explained and broke their embrace. "I just needed to sleep."

She nodded and reached around him to open the fridge. She pulled out a blood bag and he accepted it gratefully.

"What did they do to you, to Damon?" She asked, swallowing nervously and looking towards the lounge. "There's so much blood on his clothes." She became teary again and Stefan squeezed her shoulders soothingly.

She clearly still had feelings of love for Damon. It was written all over her face.

"He'll be ok. He had the roughest time of down there though. I don't know whether he'll want to talk about it or just forget."

"Did they hurt him?" She asked and searched his face.

"Yeah." Was all he said in response.

He didn't want her to know just how bad it had been and he was sure that Damon would feel the same way. She nodded and held herself.

"He'll be ok. He's strong Elena. Much stronger than me." He advised and she shook her head and exhaled as though he was missing something, which he usually was given his lack of memory of Damon before being his angel.

"He hides from his feelings." She said and Stefan chewed his lip. "He never talks about his fears. Even to me."

"He has me."

She smiled at that, pleased to see Stefan's feelings of hate gone now that he and Damon had suffered something traumatic together and survived.

"You two are good now?"

"Yeah I think so." He smiled.

"And, how you felt before…do you still feel that way?" She asked nervously and he wasn't sure how to answer.

"I do. I think he understands how I feel now." He explained and she chewed her lip. "I know you think this is gross but as far as I'm concerned he's not my family Elena. I can't conjure the kind of natural repulsion siblings feel towards each other romantically, because I don't know how. I can't help how I feel and he gets that now."

"Ok." She said, seeing that his resolve was the same and there was no point in arguing with him.

"Anyway, I better grab a shower." He gave her another shoulder squeeze and stepped around her to head to his room.

Elena sat down on the couch as he moved upstairs and watched Damon sleep for a while. She wanted to know what had happened down there. It would eat at her until she knew. Damon looked half dead and covered in blood when Caroline had pulled him from that basement. Had they done to them what they had done to Jesse? They both seemed kind of normal, but then so had Jesse until he had bitten Caroline. She'd have to keep a close watch on both of them. She'd never been so scared at the thought of losing them when Stefan had vanished too. It was a few days of furious searching and nervous breakdown before their human friend had admitted that he knew what had happened. She'd wanted to kill him, use him as leverage but that wasn't who she was and she kept having to remind herself of that. He'd come to help because the guilt of being involved in something so inhumane had eaten away at him. He didn't know much more than she did though and it had taken them days to figure out where the secret lab was.

They hadn't had much of a plan really. The only stipulation was that the life of the Professor had to be spared and Elena had agreed. Not only was he her friend's only family, he also had answers to their questions and she knew Damon would want a little revenge afterwards too. They had ensured that he was teaching a class when they had set out to the rescue. Caroline had suggested taking some small explosives in case they were attacked by vampire proof weapons. They'd all been so glad of that when they'd seen the place. It had been an old frat buildings decades ago, so it was huge and had thick stone walls. The building was like a fort and they couldn't enter without invitation. It had been there human friend who had bravely agreed to take the explosive through the lab, to the basement where Caroline could hear Stefan shouting through the walls. Their only chance was to hope that one of the doctors doing experiments was the owner of the building and that they could be fatally injured or killed preferably by an explosion.

Luck was on their side as they found they could enter amongst the rubble, frantically searching for Damon and Stefan's bodies. Explosives were no kinder to a vampire body than a human one and they both prayed that Stefan and Damon would still be intact. This had been the only way to go. Once Elena had heard Stefan's screams, she threw all attempts at making a plan that would spare lives, out of the window. Explosions were warranted and necessary.

Damon opened his eyes and looked around in fear and she stood up and went to him slowly. He was afraid for the briefest of moment until he realised he was home.

"Stefan?" He mumbled, looking around him and Elena cooed at him and knelt before him, taking his hand gently.

"You're not dreaming. You're both safe."

Damon visibly relaxed and exhaled.

"He's in the shower." She said and he nodded and closed his eyes. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." He lied, touching his chest for wounds and relieving in the absence of any pain. "How's Stefan?"

"He seems ok. He wouldn't tell me what happened, but he said they hurt you." She swallowed and he looked down at the floor, neither confirming nor denying. "Did they try and make you drink his blood?"

"What?" He frowned and then he realised that she was thinking on Jesse. "No. Nothing like that. They were just getting their revenge."

"Revenge?" She frowned now, leaning forward and he shuffled with unease and rubbed his eyes.

"This isn't the first time I've been held in that dungeon. I was a test subject in the fifties." He said and she gasped in horror and surprise.

"What?!"

"It was a long time ago but they hadn't lost their stereotypical barbarianism, not when it came to me."

"What did they do to you?" She asked as tears began to form and he shook his head. "Tell me, please. It can't be anything worse than what I have been imagining Damon. I never stopped looking for you. I thought Stefan could help me and then he disappeared too. I thought you could be dead or turned into some kind of monsters."

"I don't need them for that Elena. I do well enough on my own." He said softly and she threw herself against his chest as she sobbed and whispered words of love and apology.

He held her and stroked her back.

"I've been so terrible to you, blamed you for everything that happened to Stefan. I've been such a bitch." She sobbed and he pulled her down on top of him, cuddling her and kissing her hair.

"I'm no innocent and I know what I get myself into Elena."

Stefan heard her tears from his room and he paused to listen. His chest felt tight. They loved each other. Damon had held him and confessed feelings of brotherly love but no more than that and it wouldn't change. Stefan finally realised that now. This was something he was just going to have to accept if he wanted Damon in his life. He nodded to himself and moved to his mirror, staring at his reflection.

Hello Stefan Salvatore. Guess I can't ever escape you can I? Not to him.

He didn't feel strong enough to face Damon right now so he moved around his room, picking a few things he wanted to take away with him to his new place as Elena composed herself down stairs and allowed Damon to leave her arms. Damon came up the stairs slowly as though he was still bone tired and paused at Stefan's door. Stefan tried to calm his heart and straighten his composure but Damon moved on to his own room instead of coming in. Damon must have heard his heart beat race and was giving him some time.

Damon closed his door over and leaned back against it exhaling. He never thought he'd see his room again. He eyed his bedclothes rumpled and moved over to touch them. Elena had been sleeping in his bed while they'd been held? He didn't know how to feel about that. He loved her still, he probably always would, but now wasn't exactly a great time for them to be starting things up again. Stefan still needed him, needed them both to be there for him. He removed his clothes in front of his mirror in the bathroom, his heart gripped with anxiety that his wounds would still be visible. You got used to taking healing for granted and now that he'd had a week of not being able to touch his chest from the gaping wounds and sliced skin, he kept forgetting that enough blood would fix him. He wasn't entirely relaxed until he'd stripped naked and touched his body delicately to check everywhere. He turned his shower on and stepped in, closing his eyes at the heat and pleasure of it. It felt good to be clean and free of blood. He couldn't switch his mind off though. He was still tense. It had felt too easy to escape like that. Those humans had come so close to jabbing a needle into Stefan. He shivered as he thought on how completely helpless they had both been, especially with him unable to move. He never wanted to feel like that again. He never wanted Stefan to see him like that again.

He wrapped a towel around his waist and wiped the steam from his mirror, staring at his face. He caught a sob in his throat as he struggled to brush his teeth. His eyes were still a tiny bit pink - not enough for Elena to have noticed or had any idea of what had happened to them, but enough of a reminder for him. He spat the toothpaste out and cleared the water as he composed himself. He took a few deep breaths and looked up at his face again, touching under his eyes to check them, to see them properly. He couldn't look too long as the memory of being completely blind and violated sprang into his mind's eye. He put his hand over his mouth again as he surrender a sob to the air.

He wasn't going to do this. So his eyes had been gauged out while he was conscious and screaming silently, big deal. He'd had worse, hadn't he? He panted a little and rubbed his face as he tried to push the memory back into his the furthest recesses of his brain, but it wasn't as easy as it used to be. Stefan's fear and pain had roused his own feelings down in that basement and he was finding it hard to store them away again. He gripped the sides of his sink and hung his head as he sobbed as quietly as he could, turning the taps on to conceal this fact from the others.

Stefan paused when he heard Damon sob. His heart thundered. Should he go to him? Every cell in his body burned too. Should he let Elena do that? She was his girlfriend or ex or whatever – maybe she should be the one to comfort him. Then again, she'd told him that Damon didn't talk about his fears. Stefan had been there, he knew what had happened to him so Damon wouldn't actually need to talk about it. Damon could just let his hair down without fear of explanation. Stefan sat his belongings down and left his room, heading towards Damon's room.

He stopped at the door, unsure whether he should knock first. They'd shared everything over the past few days and this door seemed like a huge road block to him now. Damon seemed to be quite a private person.

"I'm coming in." Stefan announced, not asking for permission as he moved into the room and closed the door behind him.

Damon didn't answer so Stefan took that as permission. Damon was leaning over his sink, half naked and Stefan stopped in surprise and concern. Damon was evidently fighting tears now as he was shaking at the effort. Stefan had no idea what he could say that would make any difference to the pain Damon must be feeling.

"I'm fine." Damon croaked, tearily and Stefan didn't hesitate as he moved to him and pulled him around to face him and envelope him in his arms.

Damon held him lightly, tense as he tried to be strong but Stefan had seen his other more vulnerable side now. Stefan stroked his hand through the hair at the back of Damon's head and Damon rested his face against Stefan's shoulder, accepting his comfort.

"They'll never hurt you again." Stefan whispered and kissed Damon's head as he had done countless times over the last week and Damon wilted.

They sank to the floor and Stefan held him over his lap as Damon pressed his face into Stefan's stomach. Stefan held him tight and stroked his head and back reassuringly. It didn't even occur to him that Damon was half naked and almost exposed in this position, all that mattered was giving him peace and safety.

Damon didn't lie there long, just long enough for him to pull himself together and realise that he had been weak. He sat up, blushing and Stefan said nothing. Simply allowing him to stand and move into his bedroom to dress as Stefan stared at the floor and felt the last of Damon's warmth disappear from his skin.

"Thanks Stefan." Damon whispered as he dressed and Stefan rose and leaned against the doorframe, waiting for him to finish dressing.

"You hungry?" Stefan asked and Damon nodded, still blushing and Stefan left the room and headed downstairs to retrieve a blood bag.

He grabbed his things as he passed his room and settled them at the foot of the stairs so he could get them before he left and retrieved a blood bag from the fridge. Elena had fallen asleep on the couch where Damon had been all night. She must have stayed up all night in case they needed her. He covered her with a blanket and left her to sleep. Damon came down the stairs and paused when he saw Stefan's bags on the floor.

"You going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I should get going now that you're safe. Got some people to compel to forget my absence." Stefan explained and handed him a blood bag.

Damon took the blood bag and frowned as he looked down at it, thinking.

"I disappeared and missed work." Stefan added, trying to lighten the suddenly uncomfortable atmosphere in the room.

"You have a job?" Damon frowned again and looked at him in amazement.

"Gotta pay the rent."

"What are you talking about? Come home."

Stefan shook his head.

"No, this is your place now. I need my own stuff, not the memoirs of an older incarnation. Besides I love my job. It's inspired by you actually. I repair vintage cars now and a few newer ones."

"You're a mechanic?"

"A specialist mechanic." Stefan teased. "Anyway, I better head home."

"Right now?" Damon swallowed and Stefan searched his face, trying to understand what Damon was feeling.

He knew Damon would fight his emotions, that he wouldn't want to talk about what had happened. His breakdown upstairs would probably be his only once. The proof of that fact came with how embarrassed he had been after detaching from Stefan's body. Stefan would only want to comfort him and it would be too difficult not to love him in the attempt. Damon didn't want his love. He wanted his brother and his brother was gone. He should let Elena deal with it and take whatever was left of his pride and go to his new home.

He pulled a jacket off of an old hook on the hallway and put it on casually and Damon stood still in disbelief.

"Wait, Stefan don't leave." Damon reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "I…maybe we should…"

It wasn't like Damon to be inarticulate and Stefan found himself smiling to break the tension.

"I won't disappear. I'm just going home. I'll call you and we can hangout."

"When will I see you?" Damon asked, still looking unsure and Stefan shrugged.

"I'll call you." Stefan had to protect his heart here too. "Hey." He said softly as Damon continued to seem distressed.

He enfolded him in his arms again reassuringly.

"If you need me just call ok? Elena obviously wants to talk things out with you – let her. It's long overdue." Stefan soothed and Damon seemed to relax a little and nod his head.

"Yeah. Later." Damon said tightly and pulled back giving a small smile that didn't look sincere at all.

Stefan swallowed and searched his face. He wanted nothing more than to stay and kiss away his tears. Kiss him and hold him until Damon felt safe and relaxed, but that wasn't his role here. That was Elena's. Damon smiled again and Stefan blushed slightly and exhaled.

"I have to go." He croaked and Damon finally realised why and relaxed a little.

It was easy for Damon to feel abandoned right now, but the expression on Stefan's face played out just how much Stefan longed to stay and they both knew why. Damon squeezed his shoulder and nodded and Stefan gave a small smile and turned to leave, picking up his bags. Damon walked him to the door silently and Stefan opened the door to leave.

"Hey." Damon touched his arm, turning him to face him again. "We have an appointment with a waterfall remember."

Stefan smiled in memory and nodded.

"I'll call you."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 TNB

Damon felt lonely. Strange. He hadn't felt lonely for a long time. It was unsettling. The boarding house seemed so large without anyone else here to keep him company and he found himself finding excuses not to spend too much time there. Elena stayed sometimes and although they had talked about maybe giving their relationship another go, they had agreed not to rush into anything too quickly. They were sleeping together again when she came to visit at weekends and check on Jeremy, but things didn't quite feel the same. Stefan's presence was noticed for a different reason now. The guilt was gone but still something bothered Damon. He couldn't quite figure it out.

Stefan texted back and forth over the days following their escape but he had been too busy to visit. After a week, Damon decided to go and pay him a visit instead. He wanted to see him so badly. This wasn't the way he wanted it to be. He wanted Stefan back at home, but which one? Stefan had made it clear he wasn't his brother, but that was still hard to believe and deal with. Could Damon learn to see him as a friend instead? He wasn't sure.

It's time i seen your new pad.

Damon texted and jumped in his car, heading out towards the small village Stefan had given him the address for. It felt strange not knowing where Stefan lived or who his friends were. Even through the periods of time where they hated each other, Damon always kept an eye on him - mostly to torture him mind you.

He pulled up outside a rickety old garage and got out looking around. This had to be the place, there were antique cars all around in various states of repair. He gave out a laugh when he spotted the remains of the car he'd totalled when he had been proving that he was the fun brother. Stefan must have collected it and was now trying to repair it or use it for parts. He walked around. looking at the rest of Stefan's work. Some of the cars looked really good. It was clear that Stefan really did have a knack for this. Strange he'd never shown any interest in this kind of hobby before, preferring instead to simply seek out and own classic cars. Another new things about this Stefan.

"Stefan?" He called and heard some equipment being moved around in the workshop.

Stefan appeared covered in grease, rubbing his hands on his jeans and smiling at Damon's appearance.

"Hey!" Stefan seemed surprised to see him, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check out your batchelor pad. I texted you." Damon moved forward and pulled him into a hug that Stefan returned lightly.

"Ah, i keep forgetting to carry it around."

"Seriously?" Damon chuckled, amazed that he wasn't surgically attached to his cell like everyone else these days.

"Yeah, it's annoying. I don't like people being able to get in touch with me whenever they want."

"As opposed to when you want to hear from them?"

"Exactly." Stefan smiled, before adding, "Except when it's you."

He squeezed Damon's shoulder fondly.

"I'm pretty much done here for the day, you fancy a beer?"

"No, i want to grab some Bourbon Stef - Bourbon." Damon teased, drawing out the word as if to teach a young child how to pronounce it and Stefan shook his head and beckoned him to follow.

Stefan lived above the garage it seemed. It was small inside but not without personality. Gone were all of Stefan's usual decorations or comforts. There were no books or antiques here. Stefan did have models lying around littering tables however - planes, trains and automobiles. Damon smiled to himself as he moved to touch a few of them.

"So you building things then?" He asked as Stefan washed up and changed his clothes in the other room.

"Yeah i love the challenge. Don't you have any hobbies?"

"I'm particularly gifted in the art of deconstructing the contents of the finest Bourbons known to humanity."

"I bet!" Stefan laughed heartily and Damon sat down, taking in the rest of the room.

He didn't recognise much here. Stefan had taken some clothes from the boarding house but not much else. How could someone's basic likes and nature change so much and so dramatically? Was it just because Stefan had been given a fresh page to start on? Damon began to wonder what his life would be like if he were to lose his memory. There was certainly a lot of things that he wished he could forget.

"You ok?" Stefan's voice interrupted his thoughts and he blinked and smiled. "How's things going at castle Salvatore?"

Damon chuckled and Stefan moved to the kitchen recess at the end of the lounge and grabbed two glasses and a bottle of Bourbon. He dangled the bottle in the air to demonstrate that he had one and Damon raised his eyebrows impressed. It was the same bottle that they drank whenever they had deep conversations and they both knew it.

"How did you know i was coming?" Damon asked as Stefan handed him a glass and took a seat across from him.

"I always keep one for you. I figured you'd come and see for yourself eventually."

"See what?"

"That i'm not your brother." Stefan said casually as he took a sip.

Damon watched him for a few seconds before he looked down into his glass and swirled the liquid around. Stefan swallowed his mouthful and felt a little guilty. Damon looked lost.

"Sorry." Stefan said and Damon gave him a weak smile. "You miss him a lot huh?"

"Never thought i'd hear myself say it."

"He was your brother. You loved him. I'm sorry that it hurts you to see me."

Damon looked to him and chewed his lip.

"Are you ok?" Stefan sat forward and Damon smirked and took a drink.

"I'm fine. Just a little bored. You know, not much drama without my brother getting on my nerves and Elena at college."

"No new life or death daily situations then?" Stefan joked.

"Not this week, but i've started my countdown." Damon joked back and sat back relaxed.

"Why do you do it? Why do you live like that?" Stefan frowned.

"It's just life Stef."

"It doesn't have to be. Why not start over like me? Leave Mystic Falls."

"I can't." Damon said, surprised by Stefan's emotion and Stefan shook his head.

"Because of Elena?"

"It's my home. It was our home."

"How can you move on when you're constantly under threat of danger? When you're surrounded by ghosts?" Stefan pushed and Damon sat back gobsmacked at how much Stefan had clearly been thinking about this.

"Sorry." Stefan sat back and sighed. "I just worry about you."

"I can live with that." Damon smiled. "At least some things never change."

Stefan sighed and took another drink from his glass.

"I'm so glad i can just be myself here and not have to worry about baggage. Let's not talk about Mystic Falls or Elena huh? Let's go out, get drunk and make new memories."

"I'm game." Damon smiled.

"Good coz i have a gig tonight that i can't get out of. Gotta head down to the bar in an hour to set up."

"A gig?" Damon almost choked and Stefan laughed.

"Yeah, i've been playing around with some drums i acquired. I'm not bad."

"You're playing drums? I always figured you'd play guitar if you'd ever tried."

Stefan gave him a knowing smile and downed the rest of the amber liquid.

"Get your coat and i'll show you."

They walked after much grumbling from Damon about it and Stefan chatted to him excitedly about his social life and friends. Stefan had a lot of friends and also a girlfriend too. Damon almost fell over when Stefan told him that. Stefan minus the crippling magnetic pull to Elena and the supernatural crap that followed her shadow, equalled a happy Stefan. The more Damon listened, the more he longed for the simplicity of Stefan's new life. Losing his memory seemed to have been the making of him.

They got to his local bar where he was greeted by all of Stefan's new friends. Some human, some vampires. It was refreshing to have people immediately accept him without suspicion. Damon actually relaxed.

"So you are Damon? Stefan talks about you all of the time." Stefan's new girlfriend Leyla said as they sat waiting for the sound check to finish.

"It's all lies." Damon smirked and she laughed. "How'd you meet?"

"He fixed one of my dads cars. He's a genuis." She beamed and he nodded in agreement.

"Are you staying tonight? Back at Stefan's?" She asked and he paused, caught off guard.

"Uh…"

"Too right he is. I'm stealing him away from the town of misery." Stefan appeared, squeezing Damon's shoulders from behind and laughing.

Damon turned to look at him and grinned. A look of love flashed across Stefan's expression, that he quickly recovered from as Damon noticed it. He went to Leyla, kissing her chastely as he returned to the stage and approached the microphone. Damon watched, admittedly taken aback at how much love was still evident in Stefan's expression. Damon had thought with a girlfriend and a real life now, his feelings would fade, but they were still there.

Everyone fell silent as Stefan announced the band and then stepped into his place behind the drums. The music was good, really good in fact and Damon found himself tapping along to Stefan's beat. How the hell had Stefan learned to play the drums so quickly? He'd never shown any interest before. So different…

This girl was nothing like what Stefan usually went for either. She was attractive and petit but blonde. Stefan usually preferred brunettes. She was older too - 24. Damon wondered what age she thought Stefan was considering that he usually passed for being a high school senior. Leyla was into music, astronomy and was studying to be a naturopath. She was interesting and charming and completely smitten over Stefan. It was so clear, as she gazed at Stefan on stage as he played and sang. Stefan had a gift. The lights shone down on his face and highlighted his cheekbones and Damon found himself hypnotised by the atmosphere. This was what normal living was supposed to be. This is what Stefan wanted instead of the constant strain of protecting the world and suffering for the past. What was wrong with that? Nothing and the more Damon thought on it, the more attractive the idea became now that he saw it in context.

Stefan exited the stage to thunderous applause and moved through the crowd like a cat, looking to Damon as Damon clapped and smiled at him. Their eyes didn't part until he was back at the table and Leyla embraced him.

"What did you think?" Stefan asked once they were seated again.

"Who knew you could actually play drums!" Damon laughed.

"It's new then?" Leyla asked genuinely surprised and Damon nodded. "It's so bizarre that you can't remember. Maybe you always had the ability but never gave it a chance." She commented and Stefan nodded.

"There's a lot of things that i hadn't tried until i woke up again." Stefan said and Damon knew the comment was directed towards him.

They enjoyed the rest of the night drinking and laughing. Stefan's friends were all in their twenties so their chat was good. He could get used to them, especially as they all adopted him as Stefan's best friend. How bizarre to be known as that and not his brother. It changed the dynamic. Drink flowed and they all got drunk, until Leyla slurred that she had work in the morning. Everyone echoed the sentiment and Stefan took her out to one of their cars for a ride home, taking her car keys from her in the process. Damon sat comfortable and relaxed, waiting Stefan to come back. It had been a great night. An eye opener. When Stefan returned to the table, everyone else had gone and it was just the two of them. He exhaled and sat down across from Damon and smiled triumphantly. It warmed him to see Damon so relaxed and happy. He looked younger and healthier from lack of stress.

"I wish you'd come and stay for a while. It would do you good to have some respite." Stefan said and Damon smirked.

"Is that an invitation?"

"Do you need one?" Stefan teased.

"Maybe. Not much room at your place. Is that all you can afford?"

"There's plenty of room and i like it."

"If you need some cash, there's tons at home. You should have a share…" Damon began to suggest and Stefan shook his head firmly.

"I'll make my own way."

Damon sighed a little frustrated and Stefan felt guilty.

"If i need it, i know where to ask. Thanks." Stefan smiled hoping to return Damon to his good mood. "We should head back."

"You working tomorrow?"

"Not if you stay a while. I can shut the place." Stefan offered and Damon chewed his lip.

"Deal." Damon smiled and they rose to leave.

Damon grumbled on the walk back again and Stefan draped his arm around his shoulder and teased him. The walk seemed much briefer this time, with Stefan's body heat against his. Stefan gave him the tour of his apartment, as small as it was and offered Damon his bed.

"Couch is good enough for me Stef." Damon refused and Stefan folded his arms and laughed.

"Damon you seem like the kind of guy who is used to a bit of luxury and my couch aint it."

"I'm not putting you out of your own bed."

"Alright, alright." Stefan acquiesced and left him to get some blankets.

Damon lay down on the couch leisurely and played back the days events in his mind. He was so glad he'd come here. Stefan was happy. Perhaps being a part of his life like this would make him happy by proxy. It was a nice thought. He closed his eyes and began to doze. Stefan came back into the lounge and stopped when he seen Damon sleeping. He couldn't believe his luck. Damon was really here, he'd come to see him. Perhaps he missed him as well as the person who'd been his brother. Whatever the reason, Damon seemed happy tonight. He'd nevrer really seen him happy. It suited him. If only he could keep him here.

He approached him slowly so as not to wake him and covered him in a blanket, tucking him in. Damon's eyelids were flickering so he knew he was dreaming by now. He leant down and cupped his cheek, running thumb softly over Damon's bottom lip. The alcohol must be making him braver than usual as he normally wouldn't dare to have shown such affection. There was no excuses this time, now that they were out of danger and out of that laboratory. Stefan had accepted the fact that Damon would never hold like he had when they'd feared for their lives and sanity. He exhaled sadly and leaned down to place a soft kiss on Damon's forehead. He pulled back slowly and Damon opened his eyes, startling him. He blushed, feeling guilty at being caught and he moved to withdraw his hand from his cheek. Damon caught his hand and held it there as they stared at each other.

Stefan's throat dried up and he didn't know what to say or do. What was Damon thinking?

"I...thought you…" Stefan croaked, trying to string a sentence together but Damon didn't push him away or protest.

"My brother's really gone." Damon mumbled, not breaking eye contact, almost as though he was searching in Stefan's eyes for the lost soul of Stefan Salvatore.

"Let him go." Stefan whispered and cupped Damon's other cheek as tears filled Damon's eyes.

Damon nodded and reached up to pull Stefan down. Damon tilted his head and placed a soft, loving kiss on Stefan's mouth and Stefan froze, scared to move and break the spell. It was just a small kiss, not passionate or hungry but it was loving and it made Stefan's heart pound. He wanted more.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 TNB

Stefan broke the kiss, unsure if Damon knee what he was doing here. They'd drank a lot of Bourbon. Damon seemed surprised by his action.

"Kiss me." He repeated confused.

"Why?" Stefan replied in shock and sat down on his knees so that their faces were level.

"I want to see." Damon said simply and Stefan frowned in confusion.

"See what?"

"If it feels wrong."

"You've kissed me before, a couple of times." Stefan pointed out and Damon swallowed, but seemed to be very calm.

"That was different. You were still my brother then." Damon explained and Stefan realised that finally Damon was seeing him for who he was and not the ghost of his brother.

He smiled in amazement, before remembering Damon's request. His stomach clenched suddenly and he felt horrifically nervous. If he was going to kiss him, he had to make it great, mind blowing. This might be his only chance to do this because Damon may feel different right now, but he was still effectively kissing his brother physically. He sucked in a breath and tried to calm himself. Why was Damon so calm? Maybe the booze was the culprit. The booze…

Stefan frowned in thought. This could just be the alcohol talking.

"How much did you drink tonight?" He asked and Damon exhaled.

"Not enough." Was Damon's reply and Stefan couldn't help but smile again.

Stefan moved his hand around the back of Damon's head tentatively and Damon closed his eyes. This had to be mind blowing, this had to convince Damon to give this a try! He brought their mouths together softly and began to kiss Damon's plump lips with every ounce of love and devotion he felt inside. Damon moved his lips against his and brought an arm up to stroke Stefan's back and Stefan relaxed into him and opened his lips to deepen the kiss. Damon opened his too and their tongues met. Stefan felt a jolt of excitement pass through him at Damon's willingness and he pulled him into him with his arms around Damon's back. Damon inhaled at the movement and tilted his head further upwards to stay attached to Stefan's mouth. Stefan let out an involuntary hum of pleasure as their tongues danced around each other. Damon's mouth was a wonder – his lips so full and soft that Stefan wanted to bite the bottom one and taste it. He wanted to taste all of him. He could feel the urge to climb on top of him and do just that but he didn't want to rush things. The last time he had had Damon in this position Damon had panicked and they'd screamed at each other until Stefan had left and sought refuge in this small village 1 hour from Mystic Falls.

Stefan licked Damon's bottom lip and sucked on it for a second before doing the same with the top lip and Damon splayed his hands over Stefan's back, tightening his hold on him as he enjoyed it. Damon took in a breath as Stefan moved to insert his tongue into his mouth again and the sound that that action made was so sensual that Stefan felt his manhood become hard in his jeans. He quickened the kisses, and Damon made the sound again. God he wanted him. He'd never been sure how far he'd want to go with Damon but right now he had no doubt that he wanted him. He wanted to kiss every piece of skin on his body and suck him. He'd sell his soul for that.

He slid one hand down from Damon's shoulder blade and stroked down to his waist, resting there for a minute as their kisses continued. He moved the hand a little lower and Damon didn't seem to mind. Maybe it would be ok to touch him a little more. Stefan slid his hand over to Damon's crotch and gently stroked there, making Damon moan into his mouth and grow hard under his fingertips. Damon was aroused. He wanted it too! Stefan undid his button and fly and slid his hand inside Damon's jeans, feeling the swollen flesh there hot and demanding. He took a hold and began to stroke him leisurely and Damon sucked in a breath again and flexed into his hand.

Stefan stroked him until he couldn't wait any longer and he pulled his mouth across Damon's cheek, kissing into his neck as Damon gyrated and breathed heavily. Damon's body was sublime in every detail and Stefan wanted to map it out in his memory as he kissed his neck and bit into his collarbone lightly. He pumped with his hand, quicker this time and Damon moaned. Stefan wanted to taste him. He moved quickly down to his groin and removed his hand, opening his mouth and sucking the head of his erection and Damon gasped. Stefan had never done this to his memory, but his body seemed to know what to do. Leyla was quite skilled in the sack and he'd watched her do this to him. Strange how little guilt he felt over cheating on her, but this was his angel. For his angel he'd do anything.

Damon's seed tasted salty and he found he didn't mind it. He began to lick around the shaft, placing kisses on it as Damon gyrated and panted. Taking it all into his throat proved difficult because of Damon's size but he gave it his best effort and Damon cried out every time he almost swallowed it all. Stefan could feel Damon's testicles tightening so he was close to climax and he sped up his sucking. Damon moaned and grunted.

"Stef…" Damon whispered breathlessly. "Stop…"

Stefan was focussed on giving him the best climax he'd ever had so he didn't hear Damon's words.

"Stop, Stefan…" Damon gasped. "Stop…"

Stefan hollowed his cheeks and Damon gasped loudly.

"Please stop. Stefan stop!" Damon shouted now and Stefan stopped in surprise.

He released him from his mouth and sat up looking at him in query and concern. Damon had his face in his hands.

"What's wrong?" Stefan's throat felt raw from his efforts.

"I can't." Damon groaned, sounding distressed and Stefan felt his heart stop.

Stefan sat frozen on the floor, waiting for Damon to explain. A whole minute seemed to pass in silence before Damon finally dropped his hands from his face and looked at him. Stefan must have looked heartbroken because Damon immediately grimaced.

"I'm sorry." Damon whispered. "I'm not ready for this."

Stefan didn't know what to say so he stared at him numbly.

"I want to be able to forget." Damon added as he slowly tucked his erection back into his jeans and Stefan swallowed painfully and nodded. "Stef." Damon whispered beseechingly and Stefan looked down at the ground.

"It's ok."

"I just, I need to go slow." Damon said and Stefan frowned and looked to him.

"Huh?"

"I can't do the sex stuff yet. It's too…I can't get my head around…"

"Yet?" Stefan repeated in surprise and Damon paused. "You want to try?"

"I…I don't know what I feel." Damon sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Do you like me?" Stefan asked, holding his breath.

"I don't know how to explain it. You look like my brother, you are technically still him, but you're not at the same time. I feel like you're mine." Damon said and Stefan let his mouth fall open a little as he listed, his heart pounding loudly.

"You're connected to me, part of me but you're…not. I want you to be with me, at home but you're not my brother anymore. Stefan…" Damon frowned in agitation and confusion and Stefan pulled him into an embrace and rubbed his back.

"It's ok. I think I understand. You feel like mine too. Maybe it's just because we are connected by blood even though we don't feel like that anymore." Stefan consoled and Damon huffed and pulled back from him.

"This is fucked up." Damon sighed.

"You got the short straw. I don't have to fight what I'm feeling, but you do." Stefan gave him an understanding smile.

"What if your memories come back?" Damon said.

"I don't know." Stefan shrugged honestly. "I can't imagine what that would be like. All I'm positive on is how I feel about you and I can't imagine that ever changing."

"If you remembered me as your brother, you wouldn't feel like this anymore Stefan."

"Possibly." Stefan agreed and they both deflated a little. "I can't live my life worrying about if that will happen though. I know what I want right now."

"Stefan…" Damon groaned and put his face in his hands again.

"Damon. I want you. With the way you live your life, you could be killed any day, but you're here right now with me." Stefan took one of his hands and Damon grunted.

"Maybe I will get my memories back and I won't love you like this anymore, or maybe it will just take me some time to adjust. I might never get them back. I don't want them back if it'll mean I can't have this. We will never know unless we try." Stefan brought their mouths together again and began to kiss him gently.

Damon was tense but he kissed him back like before. Stefan only kissed him for a few minutes before he broke off and kissed his cheek and into his neck.

"Please, just try." He whispered against Damon's ear and Damon shivered. "If it goes weird we'll deal with it together." Stefan intertwined their fingers in his hand as he brought the other up to cup Damon's cheek again. "Together."

Damon closed his eyes and let their foreheads rest together.

"Ok." Damon whispered back and Stefan exhaled in emotion and pulled Damon to his feet.

Damon looked at him in query and Stefan pulled him towards the bedroom. Damon tensed a little and looked unsure.

"We both need to get some proper sleep. You'll have a horrible night on that couch." Stefan explained and Damon chewed his lip. "Baby steps." Stefan smiled, assuring him that there would be no more touching tonight and Damon followed him into the room.

Stefan slept in his clothes normally so he simply kicked his jeans off and climbed into the bed as Damon fidgeted nervously, unbuttoning his shirt. Stefan yawned and watched him, feeling bad when he saw Damon's hands shaking. This was so difficult for him. Stefan had only ever hoped to believe that Damon could feel something for him, he'd never thought he might really have a shot at being able to make love to him. Damon was turned on by him, that was a good start but sex was still way too much for his brain to handle right now. At least he'd agreed to try it at a slow pace. Stefan smiled to himself and turned on his side away from him to make Damon feel less nervous.

He'd remembered that Damon slept in only his boxer briefs, so he would feel a little exposed in this situation.

"Do you want a t-shirt to sleep in?" Stefan asked sleepily and Damon didn't respond.

Damon pulled the covers aside and slid in beside him, gloriously half nude. Stefan could feel the heat and smell of his skin. Damon was turned towards his back so Stefan could feel his breath blowing onto his back.

"I shouldn't be here, tempting you like this." He whispered and Stefan turned around to face him. "I'm your brother, I haven't lost my memory. I should be protecting you, not kissing you."

Damon was so tortured.

"You're not my brother and all you've ever done is protect me."

"You'll blame me if you ever remember again. You'll feel violated."

"You can't force what I'm desperate to offer you. I've no doubt in my mind at all that I want you."

"Right now." Damon sighed.

"Let's make a deal ok? If I get my memory back and it all goes to shit, we separate and go our own way for 10 years. After that, we meet and see if we can be brothers."

"10 years is nothing to a vampire Stef."

"50 then? I read in those journals that you two met up after 50 years and you forgave each other until he went all Ripper on you."

Damon exhaled through his nose and thought on it.

"50 years." Stefan prompted and Damon nodded.

"What about Elena, Caroline…"

"What about them?"

"They're your friends and they'll be…"

"So what? Let them be grossed out and disagree. I live my life the way that I want to." Stefan said confidently and Damon searched his face.

"You sound like me."

"Good. Then maybe you can believe how serious I am about you. I don't remember being alive for over a hundred years. I know I can heal from just about anything, but I can't help but feel like I have as much time to live my life as any of the humans around here. I don't want to waste a single day regretting stuff or moping around."

Damon smiled at his words and Stefan gave a chuckle.

"Maybe we should erase my memory too and I can join you on this wild ride." Damon joked and Stefan smiled.

"I can take you with me. If you'll let me."

"Maybe I will."

"First thing tomorrow we find my waterfall." Stefan said and Damon nodded. "Then we make out next to it."

"You sound like a horny teenager."

"I guess I kind of am." Stefan pondered.

Having no memory was like being a child again, having to re-learn or learn things for the first time. Even sex had been interesting the first few times until his body remembered what to do. Leyla had been so patient. He'd have to end it with her now and that would be hard.

"What about Leyla?" Damon asked and Stefan sighed.

"I'll compel her to think it was her idea to break up. Easier that way and she won't be hurt."

"You're going to compel her?" Damon asked in surprise.

"Yeah. Wouldn't you?"

"Yeah but you wouldn't."

"Not me." Stefan reminded and Damon blushed. "As long as it doesn't hurt them why not? We'll feed first and then I'll do it."

"You feed on her?"

"Yeah, she loves it. That's how I met some of my friends. They all know about vampires and enjoy being fed on. There's quite a healthy human/vampire population around here, because we only take what they allow and in exchange they feel desired and important. It works out for everyone." Stefan yawned as he explained it and Damon listened in amazement.

"Everyone here knows and they let you feed?"

"Yeah." Stefan's eyes drooped a little and Damon's head spun as he turned onto his back and thought on that.

A town where vampires and humans co-existed peacefully and had a symbiotic relationship?

"Don't they worry about compulsion?"

"Nah, I'll just have to run it by the sheriff. He's on vervain to make sure we keep our promises and don't compel without permission. I'll call him in the morning."

Damon huffed again as he thought it all through.

"Sleep." Stefan whispered and exhaled.

Damon closed his eyes and relaxed as Stefan fell asleep beside him. This was too good to be true. Stefan lived in a village where there was no trouble, no daily life threats or drama – just a bar where he could hang out and play music, people who were willing meals and no vampire hunters. There had to be a catch. His head spun for another hour as he tried to figure out what the catch was, but he came up empty and turned on his side to look at the sleeping Stefan. Stefan drank from people and he didn't kill them or rip them apart. Perhaps the Ripper had been caused by Stefan's traumatic life and now that it was erased from his head, he could feed normally. That changed everything for him and evidently it had done.

Stefan was happy, he was confident, assertive and playful. Damon wanted that too. If Stefan could give that to him should he let the ties of blood get in the way? His brother was gone – completely gone now that the ripper was too. Stefan was an entirely different person now, one that loved him and wanted him. What did he want?

He reached out and stroked Stefan's cheek lightly as he slept. He was attracted to this person. He was attracted to his assertive nature, his enthusiasm for life and for love. He'd felt so alone when Stefan had left after they'd escaped. Elena was normally his world and having her back in his bed and in his heart should have been all he cared about, but he'd felt himself pulled to come here. He had to trust that the feelings he had for this person were separate from how he'd loved his brother otherwise he would feel disgusted. He did want to try this. He did. Damn the consequences, he'd never cared about consequences before and Stefan was a grown up. He'd made his choice clear as day.

They were going to try this.

Damon fell into a dreamless sleep thanks to the Bourbon. Stefan awoke to the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen – Damon's peaceful face next to his. In Damon's sleep he had draped an arm over Stefan and Stefan took a minute to appreciate that before he crept from the bed and went into the lounge. He had to call Sheriff Greene for permission to compel.

He texted the Sheriff as was the protocol and turned on his percolator as he awaited a response.

No compulsion. Do it the human way.

Was the response and he huffed.

Ok.

He texted back and got two cups out of the cupboard. He had some blood bags in his fridge but he hated them cold. Drinking from the vein was much better, but he was hungry now. He started drinking one and grabbed the other and headed back to the bedroom. Damon was still sleeping. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked his hand through Damon's hair, stirring him gently. Damon opened his eyes.

Stefan offered him a blood bag and Damon sat up, stretching and took it from him.

"Sleep well?"

Damon nodded and began to drink.

"I'm making coffee. There's a towel in the closet if you want to have a shower." Stefan smiled and leaned in when Damon removed the blood bag from his lips, placing a soft kiss on them.

Damon kissed him back and Stefan pulled back and left the room. Damon watched after him. Last night's discussions came back to him and he went through it all again. Stefan's kissing was good, good enough to short cut his brain. He'd have to remember that. Stefan clearly wanted more than that and he could easily get carried away. The feeling of him swallowing Damon's manhood whole on the couch was just incredible but he'd had to stop it. He had to know this could work before they took that step. If his memory came back and they fought, it would be all the harder to forget being that intimate. They should stick to kissing.

Damon didn't bother to shower, instead sitting at the breakfast bar and asking Stefan questions about the vampire situation in this village as Stefan made coffee. Stefan explained that the village had only existed for little over 50 years and so there was no long standing secret council to hunt vampires down. The first few vampires whom had resided there had been born there and been turned in an accident after they'd been in New York City. They'd been fed on and forced to drink from their attacker to cover his tracks and unbelievably on the car journey home, they'd been killed in a crash. Their families couldn't turn them away and instead the humans adapted to them in a way that worked out for everyone. The two girls had had boyfriends who'd been safe at home during their excursion and these boyfriends had been willing donors. Once the sensual/pleasurable effects of being fed on became the gossip of the locker room, many others volunteered to be donors. It wasn't hard to find people who felt lonely or starved of affection and climax and a few minutes with a vampire ticked all of the boxes.

Apparently vampires were revered in this town. Vampire blood was also used for healing so the Sheriff jumped on board to allow it. The people who were donors wore a red bracelet so that they were distinguishable from those who didn't want to be fed on – which were precious few. Damon couldn't believe it, it was like paradise.

They jumped into Stefan's new car – a red Camaro as Damon laughed and teased him about the model. Stefan laughed, unashamed that he'd restored a Camaro that looked just like Damon's except for the colour.

"It reminded me of you." He said simply.

They drove to Leyla's house where Stefan sat in the car nervously after explaining that he wasn't allowed to use compulsion.

"Do it anyway." Damon snorted and Stefan chewed his lip.

"Nah, I have it good here. I don't want to rock the boat. Come on."

Damon followed him to the door and Stefan knocked as he stepped inside. Damon paused at the threshold like usual as Stefan called to Leyla.

"Come in Damon!" She called and Damon heard giggling.

He walked in and followed Stefan into the lounge. There were three girls including Leyla and he smouldered at them smiling. Leyla's two friends almost dropped their cups of coffee when they saw him. He knew he was good looking.

"Hey, have you taken your B vitamin today?" Stefan asked them all and they nodded as though that was a stupid question. "Great, Damon's new to this so you'll have to guide him."

Both girls blushed as they looked to Damon again and Leyla pulled Stefan into an embrace.

"Me first." One girl said to another and he chuckled and took a seat between them.

"Plenty of me to go round ladies." He winked.

"Hey can I talk to you?" Stefan said to Leyla and she nodded and pulled him upstairs to her room.

She began to unbutton her blouse so he could drink from her bosom like he usually did, when he stopped her and squeezed her hands.

"What's wrong?" She asked concerned at his expression.

"I have to tell you something. Damon…" He paused, unsure what to say.

"You love him don't you?" She guessed and he blinked. "It's written all over your face Stefan. It was all last night too."

"I…" he stumbled in surprise and she sighed sadly.

"You talked about him so much, I had a feeling you felt like that and then he was with you last night and it was so obvious. You barely took your eyes off of him all night."

"I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel like this. I never thought he'd feel the same."

"Does he?" She asked and he shrugged.

"Maybe. He wants to try. When I came here, I left him behind forever. You have to believe me when I tell you that I do like you."

"I know you do." She gave a sad smile. "He is gorgeous."

"Yeah." Stefan smiled and she pulled him over to her bed and sat down, undoing the rest of her buttons.

"I knew it couldn't last between us. I don't want to be one of you. I wanna have kids some day and grow older. We couldn't be together unless I changed too." She said and he nodded.

"I thought you might want to."

"No." She smiled sadly.

"We never talked about this."

"Are you going back to Mystic Falls?" She looked up at him.

"No. I don't want to be anywhere near it. I'm staying here. I just hope I can drag him away."

"So we can still be friends?" She asked and he smiled.

"I'm not going anywhere. You sure you still want me to do this?" He indicated to her bosom and she nodded.

"Make it good." She closed her eyes and he bit into her breast in bliss.

She'd seen right through him last night and she hadn't been surprised, given how he'd talked about Damon to her. Was it that obvious to everyone? He concentrated on making the feeding as good as he could for her, licking over her skin gently as she relaxed and hummed. He wondered what it felt like to be fed on. He knew it hurt at first when his teeth went into her but after that she felt pleasure and would sometimes climax. Perhaps Damon would let him bite him and test it out, or maybe Damon would let him bite him? The possibilities were endless right now and he sighed and drank until she whispered his name. She was panting and flushed as he pulled away from her and bit his wrist in offering. She sucked at his blood until the bite mark disappeared and she let out a sigh of satisfaction.

"Thank you." He smiled and kissed her and she nodded.

"Make sure he knows the rules here." She reminded and he nodded.

By the time Stefan got back to the lounge Damon had both girls panting and flushed. Evidently Damon had mastered stopping at the right time without any instruction. Stefan chuckled at how spent the girls looked. They were certainly pleased and would accommodate him again. Damon appeared from the kitchen with two glasses of water and handed them over to them. Both girls blushed and smiled at him as though they were school girls and Damon bent down and kissed both of their hands like a gentleman before turning to Stefan.

"You know, I think I should visit this village more often." He commented and Stefan motioned for him to leave with him as he laughed.

"Thank you ladies. See you next time." Damon was such a tease.

They climbed back into the car and sped away happy and full. Today was going to be a great day.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 TNB

They drove for a while, chatting, teasing each other and laughing. The trauma of their incarceration a recent enough memory so as to provide them with a sense of miraculous freedom and peace now that they were out. Stefan's waterfall was elusive. In the end Damon had suggested they go to Mystic Falls instead as he knew there was a waterfall there, but Stefan refused.

"It's just a town Stef. A place. It's not evil." Damon couldn't understand why Stefan hated Mystic falls so much.

"It's never brought anything but unhappiness and danger to you." Stefan huffed and Damon caught his arm as they walked along a woodland path, following the sounds of water.

He pulled him around to face him and Stefan blushed.

"I've made decisions that brought me a lot of the shit that has happened Stef. I'm not a victim or a damsel in distress."

Stefan sighed.

"I'm don't need or want to be rolled in cotton." Damon pointed out and Stefan bit his lip.

"I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Life happens whether you like it or not. Make as many good memories as you can to block out the shitty ones ok?" Damon softened a little and Stefan searched his eyes.

"So let's make some good ones. Leave and stay with me." Stefan offered weakly, afraid of rejection and Damon searched his face seeming uncomfortable.

"You want me to move in? What happened to baby steps?"

"You don't have to stay with me. Just don't go back there. I can find you a place. We can..."

"Stef stop. I have Elena." Damon sighed and released his hold on Stefan's arm.

He moved away from him, following the path as he thought on Elena. He'd kissed his brother and let him give him, frankly an amazing blowjob, but what about Elena? Stefan followed him silently as he watched Damon's head spin.

"You're back together?"

"Kind of. I don't know." Damon mumbled. "What the hell do I know about anything?" Damon sounded frustrated and pulled at some weeds as they continued on their walk.

"She puts you in danger a lot."

"Stefan." Damon said in a warning tone. "I love her." He mumbled afterwards, more to himself.

Stefan felt his chest tighten and he stopped walking. Damon turned around and looked at him unhappily.

"You said you'd try." Stefan mumbled.

"I know."

"Have you changed your mind?"

"No."

"So what…?" Stefan frowned and tried to understand. "Do you want to…"

"I kissed you. I don't know if I can do any more than that. You're still…for god sake!" Damon growled, angry at himself.

"I thought we were having fun. Aren't we? Don't you feel free?" Stefan asked and Damon looked to him in reservation, gulping.

"Yeah."

"Because you're away from that place, away from danger?"

"I don't know, feels pretty dangerous where I'm standing right now Stef." Damon remarked and Stefan knew he was being truthful.

"Tell me what you're feeling." Stefan moved closer and Damon gulped and paled a little. "Tell me. I won't judge you."

"That's the problem. You don't and you should."

"Huh?"

"The fact that I'm even contemplating all of this makes me…" Damon gritted his teeth. "You would never do this to me if I'd lost my memory."

"I'm not you."

"You're not yourself either." Damon turned his back and rubbed his face. "So who the hell are you Stef?"

"I'm just a guy. I want to work, have fun, love till I can't bear it and I don't want to end up in a dungeon having my eye balls cut out because some girl begged me to run after her every whim." Stefan spat in anger and Damon spun around in shock that he'd use that tactic.

"I want to live!" Stefan said louder and Damon clenched his jaw in equal anger as they stared each other out.

"I want to lie down on the grass with you right now and let you have me because it's all I can think about these days. I'd let you do anything. I'd forgive you anything, but I can't forgive you if you get yourself killed." Stefan continued and Damon took a step back, horrified at how angry and full of rage Stefan seemed.

Stefan didn't get mad easily- the old Stefan. This new person had a temper it seemed. It burned like a volcano behind his eyes.

"I want to go back to that lab and find those bodies – bring them back to life and cut their organs out while they scream and plead. I want to cut their eyes out and feed them to them. I want them to rot slowly in that dungeon with no one to comfort them until the rats eat them."

"Stefan…" Damon put his hands up in slight fear and shock.

Ripper Stefan seemed nearby. Perhaps some of this new Stefan was just burying it.

"I want to kill everyone that dares to even hurt you Damon." Stefan's anger seemed to break and he crumbled a little.

Damon went to him and hugged him, stroking his back.

"I love you. Why is that so bad?" Stefan choked. "Why do you torture me with this?"

"I'm sorry." Damon held the back of Stefan's head.

"Love me Damon. Take one day out of your fucked up life and just love me." Stefan gripped him, squeezing and Damon closed his eyes and sighed.

They held each other for a few more moments as Stefan calmed. Damon placed a kiss on his forehead and took his hand, leading him onwards down their path.

Neither spoke as they trampled weeds and got mud on their boots, until they thought they heard a waterfall. They smiled at each other excitedly, rejuvenated by the prospect of finally finding a waterfall. Stefan began to run towards the sound and Damon followed hot on his tail. They ran into a clearing with a waterfall and a lake and stopped to admire the view.

"I have no idea where we are." Stefan whistled and Damon grimaced, shading his eyes in the sunlight as he looked to the water.

"Race you." Stefan grinned and took off and Damon chuckled as he enjoyed how carefree Stefan seemed again – his black mood gone completely.

Sometimes it was hard to imagine how childlike Stefan must feel. So much was new and exciting. Stefan began to throw his clothes on the ground as he headed towards the water edge and Damon laughed and tried to pick them up along the way. He bent down to pick up one of Stefan's shoes when he heard him gasp and looked up to see him at the edge. His back was turned but the muscles in his back portrayed extreme fear as he looked down into the water.

"Stefan?" Damon called in surprise at his stance. "Too cold for you?" He joked but Stefan was stock still and tense.

Damon chuckled and began to walk towards him when Stefan collapsed into the water. Fear hit Damon instantly. Stefan hadn't jumped, he'd collapsed for sure. He dropped his clothes and blurred to the edge, calling out to him but he couldn't see in the water. He jumped in looking for him and found him petrified and struggling. He grabbed him around his chest and brought them to the surface, cradling Stefan against his chest as he sat them both on the grass again. Stefan's whole body was shaking uncontrollably and Damon whispered to him and stroked his face.

"Stefan what's wrong? It's ok." Damon whispered as his own hands began to shake.

Stefan looked up at him and frowned, before hiding his face against Damon's chest.

"The water. It's too soon." Damon surmised, shaking his head at his own stupidity. "It's ok."

Stefan began to weep and Damon looked towards the water in thought.

"It's just water Stef. Just cold water that's all. You're safe."

Stefan shook his head and kept it buried in Damon's chest.

"I'll show you." Damon cooed and Stefan looked up at him feeling defeated.

Damon placed a soft kiss on his mouth to calm him and slowly sat him upright as he removed his jacket. He was soaked through anyway, he might as well. He began to strip and Stefan watched with interest. Damon tried not to let the scrutiny of his body put him off here. For a change he actually felt confident about what he was going to do. He stripped to his boxers, leaving them on much to Stefan's disappointment and stood up.

"There's nothing to be scared of." Damon gave a small smile before dive bombing into the lake suddenly.

Stefan shouted in surprise and stood up, anxiously looking for him. It took a few minutes for him to materialize to the surface and each passing second had Stefan hyperventilating. Finally Damon's head appeared and he lay back relaxed and floated, spitting water out of his mouth like a water fountain. Stefan gave a laugh of disbelief and Damon paid him no heed.

"Damon…" Stefan urged and Damon made a scene of appearing to be completely nonchalant and relaxed beyond belief as he swam around and played in the water quite happily.

Stefan could see what he was doing and he wanted it to be that easy. The water was so dark though, bottomless like his prison had seemed.

"Damon." He said unhappily and Damon looked to him and raised an eyebrow.

"Look at that face." Damon stuck out his lip teasing him. "I thought you wanted to make out by the waterfall?"

"I do." Stefan said annoyed and Damon chuckled.

"Well the waterfall won't come to you Stef. Nothing ever comes to you, you have to take what you want." Damon began swimming towards the waterfall and Stefan groaned and watched him desperately.

Damon was the biggest tease in the universe but Stefan knew he'd follow him anywhere. Even as he sat down and put his feet in the water terrified, he knew he'd do it. He breathed erratically as he prepared himself.

What if I wake up and this has all been a dream? What if I'm still hallucinating in that box? What if..?

"Stefan!" Damon called from a distance away, standing on a rock to the side of the waterfall.

He looked to him, almost sobbing in fear and want and Damon cracked a smile and removed his boxers. Stefan's jaw dropped open and he stared in disbelief. Damon winked and moved behind the waterfall, obscuring Stefan's view. His heart began to pound wildly and suddenly he didn't care about the water anymore. It was now simply a wet thing standing in the way of them both, of both of their bodies pressing together. He took a deep breath and dove into the water, swimming and struggling wildly not to let fear over take his reason. He just had to get to Damon, had to reach him where he would be safe, where this would all be real. He just knew deep in his bones that if Damon joined with him, he'd finally believe this was all real. Only Damon made everything feel real.

He gasped and struggled until he reached the rock and threw himself on it breathing heavily. He looked at the water, at the distance he'd swam in haste to get here and he felt a little amazed at himself. Damon had dangled the carrot and he'd come running. Now, he wanted his carrot. Damon said he had to take what he wanted. It was time he did.

He stood up and looked for the passageway Damon had taken, following Damon's wet footsteps cautiously. He found him in a small cavern, sitting watching the water flow before him. Damon looked almost meditative sitting cross-legged and mesmerized by the patterns the water created. Stefan sat down beside him and looked to the water too. The sounds of the water falling made his ears pop slightly and everything in the cave seemed to echo. The air was thinner too and Stefan found himself relaxing into his breathing to stop himself feeling like there wasn't enough oxygen. It was calming.

Damon turned to look at him and smiled warmly. Stefan smiled back and reached for his face. Damon allowed it and Stefan pulled him forward into an embrace and kissed Damon lips softly. Damon raised his arms up to stroke down Stefan's and Stefan deepened their kiss. Their first proper kiss last night had been wonderful, he wanted this one to be better. Damon stroked a hand up into Stefan's hair and Stefan hummed and stroked their tongues together. The water sheltered them, making them feel like they had the utmost amount of privacy so Stefan made his move. He tilted them over onto the ground, surprised to find a bed of moss covering the floor that cushioned them. He maneuvered so he had Damon beneath him and climbed on top of him, making Damon breathe in sharply as he felt Stefan's erection. Would he stop him this time?

Stefan took hold of Damon's manhood and began to pump it, making Damon gasp and moan.

"Let me please." Stefan breathed in between kisses and Damon nodded, kissing back with more passion.

Stefan kissed down his beautiful naked body as Damon lay relaxed and willing. He sucked him into his mouth again and Damon moaned loudly. He would finish it this time. He worked his flesh as he had before making Damon pant and shiver.

"Oh god Stef." Damon moaned and Stefan hollowed his cheeks. "Uh!"

Damon was almost close to climax again, his testicles tightening in warning of the oncoming storm, when Stefan pulled his mouth away and breathed heavy. Damon groaned in disbelief and looked at him in horror and Stefan kissed back up to his face, straddling him and pumping lightly on his erection.

"Stefan please." Damon groaned, gyrating and Stefan rose up onto his knees, taking him by surprise as he lowered himself slowly onto Damon's flesh.

Damon gasped and grabbed his hips, halting him as he felt his erection press against Stefan's entrance. He panted, eyes wide in fear and Stefan looked at him calmly.

"I love you." Stefan smiled unrestricted and happy and Damon opened his mouth to argue.

Stefan placed his hands on Damon's chest and leaned over to kiss him with as much love as he could demonstrate and Damon began to lose his reluctance to continue. Slowly, so slowly, Stefan urged Damon's hands away back down to the earth beneath them and interlinked their fingers as he kissed and hovered above him. Damon closed his eyes and relaxed again and Stefan removed a hand to insert Damon inside of him.

He'd come to learn very quickly how adaptable a vampire body was. He knew that he could do this without having to have any preparation. Being a vampire was so convenient some times, because he couldn't wait any longer. He slipped the head inside, gasping in pleasure as he smiled at Damon's reaction. Damon tilted up and let his mouth fall open. He slid down deeper, feeling his body stretch to accommodate. He couldn't believe Damon was inside of him. It was finally happening!

When he was fully sheathed he took a moment just to breathe and look down at Damon's face. His eyes were still closed as he relaxed and tried to allow Stefan to settle around him. Everything seemed so loud and bright. The sounds of the water echoed in his ears, the spray a gentle kiss of water against his skin as he felt the heat of Damon's body inside of him. This was real. Tears sprang to his eyes as he finally relaxed in that belief. No amount of hallucinations could equal how utter real and solid everything felt in this moment. He linked his fingers with Damon's hands again and began to move slowly and gently. Damon's lips were still parted and he drew in a deep breath every time Stefan released him almost completely from his body and took him back inside again.

Stefan's movement quickened and he leant forward to suck on Damon's chest and nipples. Damon slid his hands around to support his bottom and began to help him move, thrusting up into him. Damon participation made Stefan all the more excited and he let Damon take over as he leaned forward almost on top of him. Damon opened his eyes and looked up at him, catching his mouth for some quick, wet kisses as Stefan began to moan. The thrusts came quicker and more desperate as they gasped and grabbed each other. This wouldn't last long and they both knew it. Damon sat upright, holding Stefan to him and began to lower him down onto his back with Stefan's legs around his shoulders. Stefan lay his head back, sucking in deep breaths as Damon went deeper and held his gaze.

"Love you, love you!" Stefan cried out as he began to climax and Damon squeezed his legs tighter around him and began to pant.

Stefan's seed spilled onto his stomach as he cried and tilted his head back and Damon sped up, almost falling over on top of him in his urgency to climax too. He shouted out, causing the echo to bounce around the walls of the cavern as he surrendered his seed and will to Stefan's hungry body. He sat back on his knees after he'd emptied himself and pulled out from Stefan slowly. He felt dizzy from the exertion but amazingly happy and content.

Stefan closed his eyes and began to weep as he let his legs relax to the ground and instantly Damon had him scooped up into his embrace, desperately apologizing and cursing his selfishness. Was Stefan regretting this now? Did he realize this was wrong now? Stefan cupped his face with both hands and kissed him to shut him up. Damon kissed back confused and pulled their faces apart as he tried to figure out what Stefan was thinking.

"I'm free. I'm really free." Stefan choked and began to weep again and Damon held him tight.

"You're safe." Damon soothed, on the verge of weeping himself as Stefan let out all of the fear and pain he'd felt over the beginnings of his life pour out of him.

He could let it all go now, let it sink to the dark bottom of his mind, because it was over. Damon had pulled him from the depths and now stood beside him, loving him, keeping him safe and protected. Damon began to weep silently against Stefan's shoulder as the time passed and Stefan calmed, feeling a huge sense of protective impulses begin to grow in him. Damon had been there for him in this strange transition from death-like life to life-like death and he'd do the same for him now. Damon lived in constant danger of death. Stefan would bring him into the world again.

He pulled back from him and kissed Damon's cheeks one after the other until Damon lifted his head and captured his mouth. Their kiss was emotional and needy and neither cared to end it as they held each other, aware that the sun had since gone down and left them naked, wet and without their clothes. Eventually the draw of food made them separate and they looked into each other's eyes as though seeing each other clearly for the first time.

Damon stroked his thumb over Stefan's cheekbones and exhaled.

"This shouldn't feel so right." He said and Stefan wound his arms around Damon's waist.

"Now you are where I've been since that first night you brought me home."

"I never want to hurt you, but I don't think I can be your brother again." Damon croaked and Stefan chuckled.

"It's about time." Stefan grinned and Damon smiled too. "I'm hungry."

"Me too." Damon smoldered at him and Stefan chuckled.

"For food. Then we can go home and you can show me what you got."

"Ah." Damon grinned, raising an eyebrow. "I got all the moves."

"I'll take them all." Stefan bit Damon's lip playfully and Damon lifted him by his hips, carrying him out of the waterfall as Stefan wrapped his legs around his back and held onto his shoulders for support.

They emerged to the moonlight and Damon stood Stefan on his feet again as they looked up at it.

"This is like being in a Doris Day movie…well, the x-rated version." Damon mused as Stefan gazed and smiled at how the light made the water look romantic and beautiful.

"Who?" Stefan asked and Damon shook his head and laughed.

"Never mind. That's next week's lesson."

Damon slid back into the water calmly and held his hand out for him and Stefan caught his breath in his throat again for a moment.

"Follow me." Damon whispered, urging him in and Stefan took his hand, shivering a little in apprehension again.

"Anywhere." Stefan whispered back and followed him into the water.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 TNB almost

Damon refused to let Stefan drive, given how jelly-like his legs were after sex and the fear of the water on the swim back. Stefan had given in, secretly happy that Damon was being protective. They drove back carefully along the road as Stefan sat back and relaxed, feeling the glow of the space inside of him where Damon had been. Damon chatted happily, giving him instructions on how he should treat the car.

"A Camaro is like a lady Stef – the aristocracy kind." He's smiled at him flashing his teeth and Stefan smiled happy and fuzzy.

This was going to be a proper beginning for them, he knew it. They got back to Stefan's apartment and Damon threw himself down onto the sofa as Stefan het up some blood bags in the microwave.

"No dial a human in this town yet?" Damon observed and Stefan chuckled and shook his head. "We could go out and feed. That bar was quite good."

"Nah, alcohol and control don't mix. We are better to dine in. Besides, those two girls will be all over you if they're there and I might just have to kill them." Stefan joked but Damon's expression flickered with a hint of stress. "I'm joking!" Stefan laughed, pouring the blood bags into cups.

"Blood bags it is." Damon gave a tight smile and Stefan sat the cups down and took a seat next to him.

He turned towards him and cupped his face, wanting to kiss him again but Damon stiffened a little.

"What?" Stefan asked in concern and Damon stroked his cheek.

"Listen I feel like we are flying a plane down a rail track here Stef. We need to slow down."

"Why?" Stefan asked wounded.

"Because this is all new. We need to get our heads around everything first."

"It's a bit late to be shy." Stefan smiled and Damon pulled him into him for a soft kiss.

"I haven't a shy bone in my body, but I know I'm right about this." Damon whispered as he kissed Stefan's jaw.

"How slow?" Stefan grumbled and Damon chuckled against the skin of his neck.

Stefan pulled back from him, frowning as he realised where this was going.

"You don't want to have sex again?" He guessed and Damon swallowed guiltily. "Didn't you..?"

"Yes." Damon said immediately.

"Was I..?"

"Yes." Damon replied in the same tone and Stefan huffed. "I want to enjoy this slow and make sure we're both sure about what we're doing here."

"You just think if we are having sex and I remember everything I will hate you." Stefan accused and Damon shrugged. "Don't you want me?"

"A world of yes Stefan, but there's no rush ok?"

"So I can't touch you? Just like before." Stefan turned away from him and held himself angrily.

Damon reached out and took one of his hands, placing it to his lips and kissing his fingers until Stefan looked at him doing so. Damon kept his eyes trained on him and sucked Stefan's fingers into his mouth. Stefan inhaled at the warmth and felt his body responded. Damon was sucking his fingers in and out and Stefan was getting hard just from the subtext. He pulled his fingers out of Damon's mouth and captured them with a kiss instead, pushing Damon backwards so he could lie on top of him and hold him close. Their kissing grew heated quickly, forcing their hands into each other's clothing, seeking skin to skin contact and Damon rolled him over beneath him.

"Slow, slow." Damon panted and Stefan grunted and pulled Damon back down for a kiss.

Damon felt his resistance fading and he began to flex his hips into Stefan's. Rutting against each other felt good but it wasn't enough. Stefan reached between their bodies and opened Damon's jeans. He stroked Damon hard member until it popped out of the denim and Damon panted and deepened their kiss. He wanted him again – all night in fact, to hell with this slow thing Damon wanted. Life was too short. Damon began to undo Stefan's jeans too now, hurriedly pulling them down to his ankles. He took Stefan's hands from his erection and held them down at his sides as Stefan gazed up at him.

"I'm not going to have sex with you until I'm sure this is what we both really want, but it doesn't mean I'm not going to drive you wild." He grinned down at him and Stefan exhaled shakily.

"Bite me." Stefan whispered, flushed with desire.

"What?" Damon panted.

"Feed on me please." Stefan rocked his hips, freeing his legs from his jeans to capture Damon between them. "It looks so good."

Damon smiled down at him and gave a growling sound.

"That's pretty intimate Stefan."

"Just a little, then I won't push you for more." Stefan gyrated and Damon gasped at the friction.

Damon chewed his lip and lowered his head to Stefan's neck, slowly. Stefan rested his legs down on the sofa again, allowing Damon to lie down on top of him. He opened his mouth, showing Stefan his fangs to make sure he still wanted this and Stefan tilted his neck and closed his eyes. Damon's bite hurt more than he thought it would and he hissed and tensed. Damon slid their bodies together to calm him and rub their groins together to distract him from the pain. Very quickly the pain vanished and was replaced by a warmth that filled Stefan's stomach like hot liquid. He exhaled in wonder and felt his toes curling, it did feel like an orgasm but gentler – there was no desperation and rush for completion, just a steadying growth of pleasure that had Stefan panting. He let out a moan and arched and Damon dragged his mouth away, licking over the bite until it faded and healed.

"That was amazing!" Stefan gasped and Damon remained quiet, laying his head in at Stefan's shoulder. "I want you to do that again!" Stefan gave a chuckle and held Damon close.

Damon stayed silent but breathed softly against Stefan's skin.

"Can I bite you?" Stefan asked and Damon exhaled. "I want to try…"

Damon bit down again before Stefan had a chance to finish his sentence and Stefan gasped in surprise. The pain was less this time because his body felt so relaxed and fuzzy. The previous pleasure seemed to continue where it left off and Stefan found himself moaning and gyrating. He could climax just from this definitely.

"Damon, uhh Damon." He panted, sliding their bodies against one another as Damon gulped and enjoyed him loudly.

Damon finally broke away gasping for breath and holding Stefan down as he growled. Stefan looked up at him grinning.

"You still want to go slow?" Stefan panted and Damon's eyes flashed with danger and arousal.

He pulled Stefan from the sofa and threw him over his shoulder, heading to the bedroom where he unceremoniously threw Stefan down on the mattress before growling and stalking around the bed, considering what he wanted to do. Stefan pulled the rest of his clothes off quickly, never taking his eyes from Damon's. Damon looked wild and feral and Stefan liked it, gone was Damon's over active mind, his guilt, his restraint.

"You want more?" Stefan teased, tilting his neck again and Damon growled and removed his clothing in a flurry, jumping on top of him and opening Stefan's legs wide.

Stefan lay back welcoming him and gasped as Damon entered him and began to pound, growling and holding him down by his collarbone. It was harder than the last time, less like making love and more like instinct but it felt amazing. Damon drank more from him, making Stefan almost cry in pleasure as he emptied his seed and felt the blood rush bring an orgasm too. It was intense and unbelievable and he wasn't sure whether he passed out a few times.

When he woke up, Damon was asleep still. He touched his neck, feeling it a little raw from Damon's teeth but it was healed like usual. Perhaps that was a good way to circumvent Damon's worry – let the blood take over and kick start his base urges. He didn't want to go slow, he wanted it like this. What was the point of going slow anyway – he knew what he wanted and it wouldn't change. They'd already talked about their strategy should the worst happen. He got up, staggering slightly and went to get some blood from the fridge. Damon must have taken more from him than he thought as he felt weak. Still it was worth it. He drank a few blood bags before he heard Damon rise and speak on his cell phone.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I'll see you later." Damon said and Stefan felt his heart sink.

Damon was going to go home and he knew it. Why couldn't he just stay here? Damon walked through to the lounge and looked at him, frowning.

"Morning." Stefan said and Damon gave a tight smile. "I take it that's your bell being wrung."

"Don't be like this ok? I have a life back there just like you have here." Damon said grumpy and annoyed as he looked for his clothes.

"You're going right now?" Stefan asked in disbelief and Damon let out a huge sigh.

"We should cool off for a bit."

"Just go then!" Stefan barked and Damon stopped and looked to him.

"Stef I want to be here, but I can't just abandon everything. It'll take time." Damon's tone was softer and Stefan felt his eyes glisten.

Damon walked over to him and he turned his back. Damon wound his arms around him and kissed the back of his neck softly. Stefan melted back into him and held his hands over Damon's.

"I love you." Stefan whispered.

"I'll be back I promise. I'll call you later." Damon kissed over his shoulder and tightened his hold to squeeze him.

"Promise."

"I promise. You have to come back to Mystic Falls eventually you know." Damon mumbled against his skin and Stefan removed his hands and turned to face him annoyed.

"Why would I do that?"

"We've done your waterfall, it's my turn and I have the biggest bed known to man." Damon teased and Stefan smiled, realising that Damon wasn't meaning for him to move there permanently again.

They kissed and held each other, Stefan groaning at the loss of him already even though he was still wrapped around him. He didn't want him to go. He frowned as Damon parted their mouths and pulled on Damon's hands to stop him from leaving.

"Don't go."

Damon ran his fingers through Stefan's hair and kissed him again, pulling back and running his thumb over Stefan's cheekbone as they looked into each other's eyes.

"There's nowhere I'd rather be." Damon whispered. "Baby steps."

Stefan nodded unhappily and Damon kissed his cheeks, before he parted their bodies and resumed dressing. Stefan watched him go with a heavy heart as Damon gave him a reassuring smile and closed the door behind him.

Damon took a deep breath when he hit the cool air outside and he doubled over and held his knees. His head was spinning. He breathed evenly to regain his equilibrium for a few minutes. His world was upside down. He'd come here to visit they guy who was kinda still his brother, but alluring and he was leaving having found a new way of life filled with humans who let you feed willingly, music, adventure excitement and the best sex he'd ever had with someone who looked like his brother.

The worst thing about this whole thing was that he wanted it so badly. He hadn't realised how little he'd been living under the constant shadow of Klaus, or Silas or Elena changing her mind about where her heart lay. He'd though he had a pretty full life, but really for a long time he'd simply been waiting and he hadn't realised for what. Stefan had everything going for him here and he wanted to share it. Damon shook his head and moved to his Camaro, climbing in and starting the engine as he thought on last night. He shouldn't have slept with him again but he couldn't stop. Stefan's blood was potent and delicious and he couldn't deny himself. He'd have to be more careful. He'd never been the kind of guy to go on dates – he liked just taking what he wanted but this situation was totally new and different. Stefan was new to this, to his feelings and they had to be careful.

As Damon drove back towards home he made a decision to slow it down for real. They'd date – court each other like humans did and then they'd be solid and sure. He could court him, it might actually be fun. It would help them both get to know each other as who they were right now, not who they'd been. It was a great idea and made Damon feel more relaxed and confident. No more sex until they'd gotten to know each other.

He arrived back at the Boarding House, feeling his stomach lurch in anticipation. He had to tell Elena. She deserved to know what was happening. He just didn't know how he was going to admit it. He entered the lounge to find her sitting on the couch, draped in a blanket, reading as though she still lived there and she smiled over at him.

"Hey."

"Hey." He smiled and she immediately knew something was wrong.

She lay her book down and stood up, wrapping her blanket around her and coming to him as he removed his jacket and hung it up.

"What's wrong?" She asked and took his hands.

"Nothing. I'm fine." He lied and she searched his face.

"How's Stefan?"

"Yeah, good. Great actually." He assured and she searched his eyes. "I need a shower."

He squeezed her hands and moved to walk towards the stairs when she clicked.

"Oh my god." She said numb and he halted with his back turned, closing his eyes. "You didn't."

He took a deep breath and stayed still as she gasped. He could practically feel the wheels in her head turning.

"You slept with him?" Her voice was strange, not angry like he'd expected.

He didn't respond, he didn't know what to say.

"Did you?" She demanded and he exhaled. "How could you? He's your brother!" She shouted, angry now and he began to ascend the stairs.

He had nothing to say. He didn't feel guilty about it and that was the truth, but he did feel guilty about how upset she was. She called after him angrily and he kept his head low as he went to his room and closed the door. He knew she'd come after him. He was barely in the shower before she came into his room. He sighed and turned the shower on, desperate to cleanse himself. The way she was looking at him made him feel filthy.

"So, you are sleeping together now, even though you know he's not himself?" She demanded a response from him.

"Elena, it's not like that." He mumbled and turned his back to her, putting his face in the spray.

"He needs you! He needs you to be his brother and you've taken advantage of him Damon! How could you do that to him?!" She was livid and threw some bottles of shampoo at his back, making him flinch.

"He's not my brother!" He shouted, pressing his face into the tiles.

"I can't believe you! You bastard!" She shouted, tears in her voice. "He'll never forgive you!"

She stormed out of the room weeping as he sank down onto the floor of the shower and tried to breathe. She'd known so quickly – how had she known? Perhaps it was inevitable. Everyone knew how selfish he was and that he didn't follow the same rules everyone else did. He sat there under the cascade of the shower spray and thought back to the waterfall. It had felt right. It had been perfect. He hadn't initiated it, Stefan had wanted him inside and it had just felt…so right to allow it. He hadn't forced himself upon him, in fact he'd tried everything he could to avoid this, hadn't he? Hadn't he been a good brother up until now?

He stayed there for ages, until the hot water ran out, forcing him to climb out and dress. He could hear Elena smashing things downstairs and he tried to prepare himself for her rage. His phone buzzed and he lifted it.

Miss you.x

Stefan's words made him feel better. This was right. He felt his chest lighten. No matter what people said to him today, Stefan loved him and wanted him. He knew that he wanted to be part of what Stefan was giving him. He had to try it. He couldn't live like this anymore.

So you should

He texted back and smiled to himself as he popped the cell back into his jeans. He looked around his room – Elena had slept in his bed again. He had to end this now before he hurt her even more. He headed for the stairs, taking a deep breath and began his descent.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 TNB

It had been the hardest conversation in Damon's life. Elena had been so broken, so upset. She fought with him physically, punching him and baring her fangs. It was a side he'd never seen of her and the only thing that stopped her trying to rip his heart out had been Caroline and Jeremy's intervention. They were all appalled and couldn't even look at him, leaving him sitting against the cold marble of the corner of the fireplace panting as they dragged Elena to her car and took her to Matt's. The house looked like the site of a war and he couldn't be bothered to fix or re-arrange it right now. He simply sat there on the floor for hours as he fought his own tears. His only solace came from thinking of Stefan.

Stefan hadn't texted all day, probably trying to allow him the breathing space he wanted. He got to his feet eventually and wiped tears from his cheeks. He'd done worse things than this surely. She would forgive him eventually right? She would. If she could forgive him for killing her birth mom, killing Jeremy…the list went on and on. She would forgive him for this when she saw that Stefan wasn't the same. She would.

He climbed the stairs and flopped down into his bed exhausted. It still smelled like her and he fought the urge to weep. He did love her, always had but he wanted to live. He didn't want to just exist anymore and that's all he'd ever be able to do with her. With Stefan he could have friends that didn't judge him, live a life free of evil beings and ghosts of the past. They could start fresh and be happy. He gripped the sheets as he thought on how desperately he wanted that – a clean slate.

A few days passed and every moment Damon wanted to return to Stefan, but he had things to sort out here. Elena was doing radio silence but Caroline certainly didn't afford him that luxury. She tore through him without mercy until he had to hold her up by her throat and remind her just how little he gave a crap about killing her and how much stronger he was. She'd been afraid and retreated. With Tyler gone she had no one to stand up for her and no werewolf bite as a warning. He drove around on the third day, looking for a gift for Stefan. They'd talked on the phone every night and each time they hung up Damon felt his feelings grow for this person. He felt giddy as a teenager. He didn't tell Stefan what was going on at home, he didn't want him to get angry – the girls were still his friends.

He stopped outside of a store and smiled excitedly when he looked in the window. Perfect! He jumped out and paid the vendor more than the gift was worth simply due to his excitement. He wanted to woo Stefan properly and flowers and candy wouldn't cut it with a dude. No, it had to be romantic but practical. He began his drive home, stopping off for some of their favourite bourbon when Stefan called. He stuck the cell into the crook of his shoulder and answered cheerily.

"Hey!"

"Where are you?" Stefan sounded strange.

"I'm out. What's wrong?"

"I'm at the Boarding House, can you come?"

"See you in 5." He answered, frowning in concern.

His guts started to clench in worry as he sped the rest of the way home. He practically ran into the lounge to find Stefan, Elena and Caroline all sitting uncomfortably. He stopped in surprise and looked to them all. Stefan looked to him and marched over. Damon held himself tight, expecting an assault but Stefan pulled him against him and locked their mouths together, kissing him passionately. Damon wound his arms around him and melted into it as Stefan pushed and slid his tongue into Damon's mouth. Damon's head spun a little in surprise but he kissed back with equal emotion until he heard a grunt of disapproval.

"Gross." He heard Caroline mumble and he softened the kiss and broke it.

Stefan held him still, nipping at his lips as Damon breathed. What was this? A demonstration. Stefan smiled at him and turned around to look at the girls, who were now pale and grossed out.

"You see?" Stefan demanded and neither girl looked at him.

"What's going on?" Damon asked a little breathlessly, looking towards Elena.

"I've been bombarded with calls and texts about how you are using me, how awful a person you are for encouraging my delusions." Stefan said angrily and Damon sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I wanted to show how much of a crock of shit that is."

"Stefan, don't." Damon sighed.

"No Damon! I've had enough of the judgement. I don't give a crap what people say to me but I care about what they say to you." Stefan was so angry.

Damon stroked his arms soothingly.

"Hey, it's ok. I'm fine."

"You are NOT fine. When are you going to stop saying that?" Stefan cupped his cheek and Damon leaned into it. "I'm not some child who needs to be protected. I'm not poor, pathetic Stefan Salvatore either. I am me and I will have you if and when I please because I love you."

"Stefan you don't know what you're saying." Caroline whined and Elena bit her lip.

"I know more than you do Blondie!" Stefan snarled, his vampire face showing.

"Hey. Hey." Damon calmed him and leaned their foreheads together. "She's your friend Stefan."

"Stefan we love you, we're just trying to protect you. This isn't right." Elena said full of emotion and Stefan let out a slow growl.

"They feel just like I did before. It's ok." Damon soothed and Stefan looked at him, the anger fading to sadness.

"Have you changed your mind?"

"No." Damon gave a smile and Stefan let out a breath of relief. "Baby steps."

"I thought maybe they'd changed your mind." He hissed towards them. "I'd have…" He was getting angry again. "This is my life."

"I know. Everything is still new though. Maybe they need to see that." Damon said and Elena huffed.

"You seriously think you can have a relationship? He's your brother and nothing you can do can change that. You can lie to yourselves all you want, but when you start to remember it's going to go to hell." Caroline advised.

They fell into silence as Stefan breathed angrily. Elena looked over to them both and took in the way they were still holding each other.

"I don't understand." She said quietly and they both looked to her. "How you can be different enough that this could happen? You're still the same person Stefan, you're just a little lost."

"What is it that really bothers you about this? Is it the fact that you miss the Stefan who loved you and would follow you around like a puppy? Because I know he did. Or do you miss having Damon's full attention so he could do the same?" Stefan accused and she was struck hard by the accusation, immediately tearing up.

"Hold on!" Caroline said enraged.

"Stefan…" Damon said in concern.

"You had two guys running around into near death situations for you at the drop of a hat. Now I live my own life free of that and I want Damon to join me. That's what really bothers you isn't it?"

"Stefan for god's sake. Damon do something!" Caroline shouted as she pulled Elena into a hug.

"Stefan." Damon said a little louder.

"He wants to be with me, away from this hell hole!"

"Stefan!" Damon shouted and Stefan stopped and turned back to him, full of emotion.

Damon exhaled and clenched his jaw. Stefan looked tormented and he pulled him into him for a hug as Caroline and Elena sniffled. Stefan held onto him and rested his face into Damon's neck.

"We all need to calm down." Damon said calmly.

"Leave with me. Right now. Please." Stefan beseeched into Damon's neck and Elena looked over at them at she dried her tears.

Damon closed his eyes and squeezed Stefan tight.

"I love both of you. I never wanted to put anyone in danger." She whispered as Caroline stroked through her hair.

"He knows that, deep down." Damon said, squeezing Stefan tighter.

Stefan kissed Damon's neck gently and pulled back to look at the girls again. He was much calmer now.

"Let him go." Stefan said and Elena looked to Damon, confused.

Damon looked down at the ground. Stefan had told him to let his brother go and he had. He wanted Elena to do the same now, but could she?

"Let him go before he gets killed." Stefan added and Damon looked to him in surprise.

Stefan linked Damon's fingers in his and looked at him as Damon opened his mouth to speak but couldn't.

"I can look after him and love him." Stefan continued and Caroline put her face in her hands. "This is what I want. You said you were my friends."

Damon separated their hands and walked into the kitchen needing some air. Stefan watched him go with his heart in his throat, but he didn't follow him. Damon needed some time. He looked back at the girls – at Caroline rubbing her face and Elena staring into the fire numb from his verbal attack. A crash sounded from the kitchen and Stefan ran in there to find Damon's hands shaking as he cleared the glass of bourbon he'd poured. Stefan's eyes widened at the sight and smell of the blood coming from the palm of Damon's hand and he felt his mouth water. He bet Damon tasted good. He bet his blood was sweet. He took a step towards him, his veins protruding as Damon dumped the glass into the trash and licked his hand clean, before rubbing it on his jeans and letting it heal. The wound was sealed before Stefan got a chance to see it and he frowned, feeling cheated. He inhaled deeply and looked to Damon's mouth. There were still traces of blood there and he wanted it. Damon frowned at his expression and Stefan blurred to him and kissed him, pressing him up against the worktop as he licked his tongue and lips free of the blood. Damon responded as hungrily and held him until the taste of blood was gone from their mouths. They separated and rested their foreheads together breathing.

"I love you." Damon whispered and Stefan pulled back in amazement and gasped.

Damon gave him a small smile and Stefan held his face in his hands.

"God help me I do." Damon closed his eyes and Stefan grabbed him into a fierce hug.

Elena and Caroline listened and looked to each other in reservation. This was going to happen. It had happened already and there was no way to stop it. Both brothers were enamoured and had lost their minds. There was no way of talking them out of it. Elena cringed at the sound of the kissing and whispers of love that came from the kitchen. They did love each other – somehow. She could understand Stefan's love but not Damon's. Was it part jealousy? She stood up, Caroline watching her as she moved towards the kitchen. Damon and Stefan separated, blushing. She could see the mess Damon had made of the glass and she sighed. She needed something normal right now and they weren't going to provide that. She moved past them into a large cupboard and withdrew a brush and shovel, walking towards them again and Stefan held his hand out and took it from her.

"I'll get it." He said.

She nodded and looked to Damon. Damon had a little glow in his cheeks and she gave a small nod.

"I'm going to hit the hay." She advised and Damon nodded, unable to look in her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." He said and she looked to Stefan.

"Speak tomorrow." Stefan gave her a small smile and she nodded again.

She returned to the lounge where Caroline was waiting with her jacket. They'd crash at Matt's again tonight till they figured their heads out. Poor Matt had been such a host lately. Still, she knew he missed them now that they were at college so he enjoyed the company. Both girls left them in peace and drove away without saying goodbye and Stefan let out the breath he'd been holding. He felt exhausted from all the anger. All day he'd been bombarded to the point where he'd almost trashed the car he was working on he'd been so angry. He'd closed up the workshop and jumped straight into his car to sort everything out. He'd known Damon would have told Elena they'd been intimate but he had expected Damon to just come to him once he had. The thought that Damon had endured three days of this treatment from the girls drove him mad.

"Come on. Let's go to bed." Stefan said, tugging at Damon's elbow. "I want to show you how right this is."

"Stefan, no." Damon sighed and tugged his elbow back. "This is too much too soon."

"Stop being a martyr." Stefan groaned and Damon huffed.

"A martyr?"

"Yes. Stop it." Stefan folded his arms. "You just admitted you love me."

"I do." Damon grunted.

"Then show me. Let's go to bed."

"I'm trying to show you, but you keep…" Damon slammed his hand down on the worktop in frustration and Stefan unfolded his arms. "This has to be more than sex ok? I want more."

"So do I, I want everything." Stefan softened.

"Then take your time! Let me take it slow. I'm giving up everything for you here and you're rushing me!" Damon gritted his teeth.

Stefan wound his arms around him from behind and kissed the nape of his neck in understanding.

"I'm sorry." He whispered in between kisses. "I'm sorry."

"This is the hardest thing I've done Stefan." Damon was almost trembling and Stefan whispered words of apology again.

"Do you want me to go?" Stefan whispered.

"No." Damon whispered back and Stefan turn him around to face him, kissing his cheeks.

"Then let's sleep. Tomorrow we can start fresh. I can wait till you're ready for more." Stefan soothed and Damon closed his eyes relaxing.

Stefan pulled his hands, leading him up to Damon's bedroom. Once inside he helped Damon undress and slipped into the bed with him, holding him and kissing him gently. Damon searched his eyes.

"I want you more than anything." Damon confessed and Stefan nodded. "I don't care what they think."

"Yes you do, but it's ok. We'll show them that things are different."

"I can't leave her like this."

"I know." Stefan cooed and urged Damon to sleep.

Damon gave in and closed his eyes. Stefan stroked his hair and down his back all night as he enjoyed the closeness even without the intimacy. This was still intimate and it would be enough for a while. He fell asleep, lulled by Damon's steady breathing, safe in the knowledge that things were going to be better, clearer now that everything was out in the open. Nothing could go wrong now.

Stefan awoke to the light filtering in from Damon's curtains. Damon was gone from the bed and Stefan stretched and yawned. He could hear voices down in the lounge. Elena was back. At least there was no shouting this time. He decided to let them have their chat privately and jumped into Damon's shower. He smiled to himself as he used Damon's body wash. He couldn't find the shampoo anywhere though and he grumbled looking for it. He eventually found it wedged between the towels on the rack and he shrugged at its strange placement out-with the shower. He covered himself in Damon's products, breathing in the familiar smell and went to find some clothing. He contemplated wearing Damon's clothes but decided against it. Damon was precious about his clothes – that he knew. Damon was the vainest person he'd ever met when it came to fashion. He walked in a towel, into his old room and looked for anything he'd left there. Stefan Salvatore had so much junk. He kept finding discarded clothes and items in every nook and cranny. There was no order in the room. Stefan liked order. His new flat had a place for everything, so this room drove him mad. He finally found jeans and a t-shirt and threw them on.

All seemed quiet on the Western Front as he descended the stairs and found the lounge empty. The coffee percolator was on in the kitchen so he moved through there.

Elena was making coffee at the worktop and Damon was sitting daydreaming. They both looked up as he entered and smiled.

"Morning." Stefan announced.

"Hey." She said softly. "Coffee?" She offered and he nodded. "Black, two sugars?"

"Yuck! No, white with four please." He wrinkled his nose and she paused, studying him in surprise.

Damon gave a small chuckle from where he was sitting and Stefan raised his eyebrows in surprise. Of course, old Stefan must have taken his coffee that way. Elena gave an unsure smile and made his coffee accordingly. They all sat together in silence as they drank from their mugs.

"So, Damon says you play drums now?" She asked.

"Yeah. I have a band. You should come and hear us play." Stefan offered and she smiled and looked at Damon.

"He's good." Damon said.

"So, you're a mechanic now?"

"Specialist car repairer." He corrected and Damon chuckled. "I remodel vintage cars, bring them back to life."

"Cool." She smiled and he chuckled too.

"I'm not Stefan Salvatore Elena. Come on, surely even you can see that?" He said lightly, reaching out to squeeze her hand and she swallowed and took a sip from her coffee.

"It's hard to see you any other way. I've known all sides of you."

"The ripper?" He said and she nodded. "The no humanity one?" She nodded again. "But not me."

She searched his face and chewed her lip.

"Let the old Stefan go." He said and she sighed and looked to Damon. "I want to be happy."

"I want that for you too." She said, squeezing his hand back.

They drank in silence for a few minutes. Stefan turned to look at Damon and reached out for his hand across the table. Damon hesitated, looking over at Elena before giving him his hand. Elena looked at their fingers intertwining and she bit her lip.

"I can't pretend to be happy about this. It still feels wrong. If it were Jeremy – I…" She shook her head, trying to dispel her feelings of nausea at the prospect of incest.

Damon tensed and withdrew his hand from Stefan's and Stefan tensed too, unhappily.

"I'll try to understand." She added and Stefan looked to her hopefully. "If you really want this."

"I'm not asking for your permission." Stefan was blunt and Damon sighed and folded his arms annoyed at him. "But, you're important. I see that." Stefan flicked his eyes over to Damon. "I want you to be part of my life, but you have to accept that we are together."

Elena gave a weak smile and nodded, picking up their mugs and standing up to take them to the sink when she dropped them. They smashed all over the floor and she fretted. Stefan and Damon both stood up, assuring her it was ok and Stefan went to help her lift up the shards from the floor. Damon went around them and lifted the shovel that had been placed there from the previous evening when Elena yelped.

"Ouch!" She cried as a piece of glass left over from last night sliced into her finger.

Stefan inhaled deeply and opened his mouth as saliva filled it. The blood pooled and dripped onto the floor. He wanted it. He wanted it now.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 TNB

"Stefan?!" Elena's eyes widened as Stefan's vampire face came forward and he tensed to pounce on her.

Suddenly there was motion and Stefan fell to the side, hitting his head on the corner of the counter. Elena screamed and he lifted himself to find out what was happening. Damon, Damon was on top of her and she was screaming.

"Stefan!" She cried out and then Stefan realised why.

Damon was snapping at her trying to bite her neck.

"Damon!" He shouted and jumped on top of him, pulling him off.

Damon growled and resisted. When had he gotten so strong? He eventually managed to wrench him from her but Damon was wild, like an animal and went for him too. Stefan fell backwards and Damon was on top of him, snapping his fangs at him as Stefan struggle to hold him at bay. Elena came up behind him and grabbed a hold of Damon's head, snapping it around until he fell on top of Stefan with a thud. Stefan gasped for breath and panted as he rolled over and moved Damon to the floor.

"What's happening? What's happening?!" Elena shouted in fear.

The smell of her blood was incredible and he couldn't help but turn and stare at her now healed finger, licking his lips as he saw the blood still smeared on the skin.

"Oh my god!" She cried and kicked him swiftly in the face, sending him onto his back next to Damon.

He grunted, sitting up and she ran. He shook his head, feeling his brain cloud over a little in hunger. He growled spotting the blood which had dripped on the floor and crawled over to lick it. It tasted amazing. He looked to Damon once he'd cleared it from floorboards and tried to remember what was happening. He frowned and crawled over to Damon, lifting him into his lap as he tried to think straight. Damon was hurt, no, he wasn't hurt, he was hungry. No…

He shook his head, growling at the struggle to focus.

Damon was infected.

His eyes sprang open as he came back to himself. He made a sound of fear as he thought on it. How? How could Damon be infected when he hadn't been injected? Stefan had been injected but not him. How was this possible? He made a wailing sound as he realised what this meant. If what the humans had said was true – then Damon was dying and he was infectious – which meant he would be rabid and dangerous to all of them. But Damon had bitten him. Why wasn't he..?

Stefan's blood was full of the contents of that needle. Could Damon have somehow become a carrier too because he'd drank so much from him? He'd fed Damon his blood throughout their captivity – Damon's blood would have changed to be able to carry the virus too. Why had he never thought on that? He'd put it out of his mind in fear. He hadn't told a soul that he'd been injected – hoping that with enough time and human blood he could wash it away, dilute it. It hadn't occurred to him Damon would take it from his blood somehow.

He held him close, weeping as he wondered what was going to happen. He heard a car pull up, skidding across the driveway and doors slamming shut in haste. He didn't know what to do. Was Damon dead? His neck was broken. God, his neck. No, no, they were vampires and you had to stake the heart or remove it. Everything would be fine. What if Damon didn't wake up? What if..?

"Stefan stay down!" It was Caroline and she had a cross bow in her hands.

Beside her Elena was equally armed. Jeremy stood behind looking venomous and dangerous too and behind him Bonnie watched sternly ready for action. Stefan blinked at them all and opened his mouth. All that came out was a sound of distress and Elena frowned in confusion. Caroline kept her gaze straight and didn't flinch. Stefan choked out a sob. They were going to kill them, they had too. They couldn't be allowed to live and infect everyone else. Damon had told them all about the speech from the doctors just prior to their rescue so they knew there had been a plague virus made. Jesse had just been an earlier phase of that – to see whether vampires could be turned to craving only vampire blood, that way, humans wouldn't be infected as they wouldn't matter anymore. He held Damon cradled protectively in his arms and began to sob.

"Stefan?" Elena said in disbelief.

"Elena stay back, it could be a trick." Jeremy warned.

"Look at him. He's not…"

"Neither was Jesse at first." Caroline said calmly.

"He doesn't look feral." Bonnie commented.

"Whoever that is, it's not Stefan anymore. He's proved that. We have no idea who he is." Jeremy spoke coldly.

Stefan looked down at Damon's face as tears fell from his cheeks. Everyone watched and Stefan turned to them.

"Don't hurt him."

"Stefan." Elena stepped forward and Jeremy pulled her back roughly.

"Help us. Please." Stefan begged and Caroline lowered her cross bow, gulping uneasily.

"If they've been infected like Jesse was, there must be a cure somewhere." Bonnie pointed out.

"Where? We practically blew up the lab. How did this happen?" Caroline frowned shaking her head.

"Jagged me, as…we left." Stefan choked. "Damon drank it from my blood."

"We need the professor." Elena said, pulling out her cell.

"And what, compel him to help? He'll be on vervain by now." Caroline pointed out.

"We have to do something!" Elena cried out. "We can't let what happened to Jesse happen to them." She looked at Caroline, knowing that tactic would work.

"Ok, ok. First things first. We need to contain this." Caroline chewed her lip. She gestured her head towards Damon. "Can you control him?" She asked Stefan.

"Yes." Stefan clenched his jaw and Caroline nodded. "We have to chain him."

"Chains won't hold him." Bonnie commented. "Not without vervain."

"We don't have any." Jeremy sighed, chewing his lip.

"I'm sorry Stefan, you'd want me to do this." Caroline gulped before raising the cross bow and shooting Damon in the head.

Stefan screamed and she aimed at him. He raised his hands protectively, shaking in fear. They were his friends, his family! Elena shouted in protest and grabbed Caroline as Stefan's eyes widened.

"We can't take the chance! He's a ripper Elena." Jeremy was saying but Elena jumped in front of Stefan and blocked him from the weapon.

"Not anymore. He's different and he's afraid. He's not going to hurt us." She shouted at them and Stefan gathered Damon to him, weeping as he touched Damon's face, now covered in blood and pieces of his brain.

He knew that Damon wasn't dead, he was a vampire but this was all so new. He couldn't quite get it into his head. He couldn't help the sobs escaping. Would Damon's brain be ok? Would it grow back like his eyes had? Would he still be the same? His cries seemed to ease the tension from the room, but he couldn't focus on anyone but Damon as he tried to wipe the blood from his face and remove the wooden spike. He felt hands on his, gently and he looked up into Elena's large brown eyes.

"It's ok. He's ok, but leave it in for now. Let him sleep." She soothed and there was such love and kindness in her voice that he nodded and stared up at her.

"Stefan can you control yourself because Jesse couldn't?" Caroline asked and Stefan simply nodded at Elena.

"Help us get Damon chained up ok? No one is going to hurt him." Elena said and he nodded.

She backed away slowly and he gathered Damon in his arms, standing up and looking to her as though she was the only person in the room.

"The basement is down there." She urged. "I'm right behind you."

He looked at Caroline and growled.

"Stefan." Elena urged gently and he took a deep breath and headed down the stairs to the basement.

He'd never been down here before. How big did this house get? It was crazy. He stopped unsure where to go and felt Elena's hand on his back guiding him into one of the storage rooms. He lay Damon down gently and touched his face in concern. He kissed his mouth and cupped his face. Was Damon really going to be okay? He wanted to remove the spike piercing Damon's forehead so badly. He touched it again and heard the door behind him closing. He looked behind in panic and saw Jeremy lock it. His heart fluttered in fear.

"Elena!" He called in fear. "Elena!"

She appeared at the window and looked in sadly.

"We'll figure this out Stefan. I promise. Just try and stay calm. Keep him calm."

"Please, I can't leave him like this." Stefan choked and she nodded.

"Please help him, please."

"We will." She assured.

She turned away and Stefan heard them all climb the stairs back up to the house. He was so afraid. This wasn't unlike being locked in the cell at the lab with both of them bloody and in pain. He began to sob again and touched Damon's spike. Every time he tried to remove it more blood poured down Damon's lovely face and he paused. He finally got it out and kissed the wound as it was healing. Damon's blood tasted as he imagined and he couldn't help himself when he began to lick it all from Damon's face hungrily. He was hungry. He bit into Damon's neck as gently as he could and drank. He knew he shouldn't but it was either Damon or Elena. Damon was already infected so he wouldn't get worse if he was a carrier too.

As long as Damon was a carrier.

After feeding he lay beside him and curled into Damon's chest. Maybe if he slept he'd wake up and realise this was a nightmare. He'd wake up and they'd be in Stefan's bed, in his apartment away from here, safe. They'd make love, whisper seductively to each other and build a life together. He fell asleep as he imagined it all. He awoke to growling and sounds of pacing. He groaned in realisation that he hadn't been dreaming at all and looked over to Damon. Damon was hunched and foaming like a rabid dog, waiting for someone to let him out of the cellar. He barely looked human.

"Damon?" He mumbled.

Was this the virus making him like this or was it because he'd been shot through the brain? It was a terrifying metamorphosis.

Damon didn't respond to him, simply growling and sniffing the air. Stefan sat up offering his wrist but Damon ignored him completely. If Damon craved vampire blood now, then why not his? He didn't understand. The virus was supposed to turn Stefan into a ripper, but not kill him so that he could infect all other vampires with his bite. He hadn't bitten Damon, ever. Damon had drunk a lot of blood from him the other night though and his blood had been changing with Stefan's throughout the experiments because he'd had to feed him so much to stop the pain. Now Damon was rabid and possibly dying. Yet Stefan could control himself – why? He stood up and approached him, speaking to him gently and Damon paused and looked at him.

"Are you hungry? Drink me. It's ok." Stefan cooed and Damon frowned and growled. "It's me Damon."

Stefan moved into his space and Damon searched his eyes. He was still very rigid and feral. Stefan reached out to touch his shoulder and Damon pushed him back, snapping his fangs at him. Stefan moved back holding his hands up defensively. Was Damon still in there?

Footsteps sounded in the basement and Damon roared immediately and ran to the door, pounding it with his body as Stefan stood back aghast.

"Stefan are you ok?" Elena called but didn't come near the bars on the window in fear.

"I'm fine. Elena stay away, he's rabid!"

"I know. We have the Professor. We think there's a cure."

"A cure!" Stefan exhaled. "Please Elena, help us!"

"I'm not going to lose either of you Stefan, but we need to get Damon to the lab."

Stefan's heart stopped and he gasped in disbelief. She couldn't be serious – take them back to that place?!

"No!" He shouted in terror.

"I'm sorry but it's the only place we can go. Everything we need is there. He's not cooperating and we have to find his notes."

"We can't go back there!" Stefan pulled at his hair.

"Stefan listen, we won't leave you. They are all dead remember? We got them, but we have to get the equipment there, we have to go if we have any chance of curing you." Caroline spoke too in a direct and firm tone and Stefan dropped to his knees, attracting Damon's attention.

"No, no, no!" Stefan began to weep and Damon approached him, circling him in interest.

"Stefan if I have to put you both down I will." Jeremy warned and Stefan sobbed.

Damon knelt down beside him and sniffed him and Stefan looked up at him. He reached out and touched Damon's face and Damon pulled him into him. Stefan held him in surprise.

"Damon you're still in there." Stefan whispered.

"Stefan? Stefan?" Elena called and peeked through the bars. "Stefan we have to get you to the lab now."

"Ok, ok." Stefan nodded, breathless with tears and the door unlocked.

Damon immediately responded, standing up as Stefan tried to clutch at him. Jeremy entered with his crossbow and Damon growled and sniffed the air. Stefan stood up and held him from behind but Damon didn't make any move to attack. He sniffed and scrutinized Jeremy only.

"He's not interested in you. Just vampire blood." Stefan said and Jeremy nodded.

"Step away Stefan, we need him out."

"No! You're not going to touch him again!" Stefan shouted and pulled Damon backwards, attempting to shield him from more wooden stakes.

"Stefan we have to. He's too dangerous." Elena beseeched and Stefan shook his head.

"How else do you suggest we do this then?" Jeremy asked exasperated and Stefan panted as he tried to think.

He looked around the room, looking for anything that was strong enough to hold Damon but he knew deep down Damon was too strong for mere chains.

"Damon vervained me." He remembered and Jeremy shook his head.

"That was the last of it. We searched everywhere. The mayor has had it all collected."

"I can hold him down."

"Stefan." Elena shook her head sadly and he panted again.

"If we can just get him to the trunk of the car, we'll be able to lock him inside safe. We can leave him in there until we're ready." Stefan suggested.

"We can't lock him in the trunk, he'll punch his way out, besides people will hear him." Caroline remarked and the room went a bit lop-sided for a few seconds as Stefan realised what they needed to do.

He wobbled backwards into Damon and Damon caught him. Damon still seemed mesmerized by Jeremy's scent.

"Stefan!" Elena gasped and he took a deep breath. "Are you ok?"

"No." He groaned and turned to look at Damon apologetically. "I'm not."

He bit into his own wrist and Damon's pupils widened as his hunger returned. He grabbed at him and bit down again to drink. Jeremy took a step forward and Stefan gasped in pain before crying out.

"Quick while he's distracted. The safe. Get the safe!"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 TNB

It took a few seconds for Elena to realise that she hadn't misheard him, before she and Caroline both dashed to the room opposite which contained Stefan's crypt of fear. The safe had been discarded in here after Damon's tactics to turn Stefan's humanity back on and it had been forgotten about since. They quickly lifted it together, straining from the weight and Jeremy opened the door to their cell and took it from them. The hunter strength remained even after his return to life.

He lay it down on the ground and Damon pushed Stefan aside as he realised what the intention was. He growled loudly in outrage and went for Jeremy finally. Jeremy didn't blink as he shot him through the stomach. Stefan fretted and grabbed Damon fiercely, trying to protect him and stop him at the same time. Elena tried to enter and Jeremy shouted at her to stay back. Stefan and Jeremy wrestled with Damon, taking hits and bites, but they managed to get him inside the safe. Damon became wilder as he realised what they meant to do and he shouted, almost words. Stefan wept and tried to talk to him, tell him to calm down. Jeremy pulled a gun from his pocket with his spare hand and Stefan threw Jeremy out of the way, into the wall and slammed the lid down on Damon's hands as Damon clawed to get out. He secured it, panting at how ironic it was that he of all people should lock someone in it, especially the man he loved. Inside Damon shouted and pounded on it. Stefan could still hear him despite the thickness of the steal, thanks to Damon's drill holes and he stood back feeling nauseous.

"Stefan!" Damon shouted and Stefan backed away to the wall in horror.

Oh god, oh god oh god!

He began to hyperventilate and shake as he tried not to listen to the screams of desperation coming from Damon now.

"Oh god!" He cried, darting forward to let him out when Jeremy took a hold of him tight.

"Stefan. He'll kill Elena." Jeremy said and Stefan looked to her, standing weeping silently in the doorway. "Tell me you can control yourself or I'll have to put you in there with him."

"Stefan…" Elena whispered and he looked to her in torment. "Trust us."

"I don't know you!" Stefan shouted, tearing at his hair.

"Trust me. I will keep him safe." She said and he watched her as he panted.

Damon seemed to calm finally and accept the prison he was in. Why was it Stefan felt he could trust this girl, this girl who'd brought nothing but danger to his door? He could see that she loved them both, clearer now than ever. She stood in front of him when Caroline had been prepared to put him down to keep them all safe. Jeremy was still standing defensively, watching Stefan's every move. He gave a nod and calmed down. He didn't know why or how but he was able to control this hunger. He had to get Damon cared for as quickly as possible, so he had to keep it together.

"Ok." Caroline nodded looking from one to the other. "Let's move him."

They all nodded solemnly and looked to Stefan. He stood up straight and took a deep breath.

"I'm ok. I can control it. If I try and hurt someone, put me in with him." He looked to Jeremy and Jeremy nodded, seeming a little uncomfortable at the prospect of doing that to him.

They barely spoke as they carried the safe to Damon's car and placed the safe in the trunk. Damon pounded on the door but didn't scream anymore, much to Stefan's relief. He stood looking down at the black steel lid as everyone got into their cars. He placed his hand on the lid and leaned close to one of the holes.

"I love you. I'm going to fix everything I promise." He whispered and Damon grunted inside and began to claw at the lid.

Stefan knew what it was like to be trapped in there and he couldn't stand the thought that Damon was suffering, but at least he wasn't in water. That gave him some small relief. He pushed Jeremy out of the way as he tried to climb in the driver's seat.

"No. You have to treat her like a lady." He grunted and Jeremy frowned in confusion but didn't argue, getting in the passenger side.

They didn't speak on the way to Whitmore but Damon was vocal, growling and banging with every bump on the road. It was hell. Finally the gates to Whitmore appeared before them like some magical kingdom of Hades and Stefan started to breathe again. Everything would be ok. They would get help here. They had to follow Elena's car around to the back of the campus, deep into the outbuildings that now served as empty labs. Stefan could feel his lungs tighten the nearer they got to that building. It seemed to loom as they approached – still badly damaged from the explosion.

"Stefan." Jeremy said in concern as Stefan began to hyperventilate. "You ok?"

"Let's just get this over with." Stefan managed to say as he scrambled out of the car for fresh air.

Elena moved to him immediately as she climbed out of hers and touched his arm warmly. He was grateful for her kindness right now. She knew what being here meant for him. Perhaps she did know him after all.

"They're dead." She reminded him of the doctors who'd experimented on them and Stefan closed his eyes tight as he trembled.

"The things they did…" He couldn't finish.

He couldn't tell them the gory details yet, it was still too close to him and he couldn't quite deal with it yet. She rubbed his back and led the way. Caroline was the first in, in her usual air of leadership and organisation. Their human friend had helped to lure the Professor here earlier and Caroline had secured him, letting their human friend go. He couldn't watch. He had still asked for his life to be spared and Caroline had promised that if the Professor cured them, she'd make sure he wasn't killed. She knew how important family was and she wouldn't take his from him, no matter what the Professor's sins were.

Elena helped Stefan inside, supporting him as he wobbled in. The lab where they'd cut Damon had survived the explosion ok. The white walls and sterility of it made Stefan want to vomit and run but he had to get through this for Damon. The Professor was cuffed to what looked like a dentist chair and was breathing harshly as they all entered and glared at him.

"How can you be here?" The Professor looked Stefan up and down. "You're infected."

"Thanks to you." Stefan replied but held onto Elena's hand still, for strength.

The Professor scrutinised him and shook his head.

"Impossible." He commented.

"Why? You have no idea what it's like to be a vampire, how much restraint it takes. Not all of us are soul-less monsters who do nothing but feed." Elena gritted her teeth.

"We are people. We have lives, friends, family…" Caroline joined in.

"You aren't people, you haven't been that for a long time."

"How would you know? You don't know any of us." Elena said angrily. "You don't know what happened to us to make us like this – the heartache, the trauma…"

"I bet it had something to do with him though didn't it? Yeah I know about him. What would your dad say Elena?" The Professor looked at her in disgust. "He didn't raise you to throw your life away for a monster like him."

"Our dad may have hated vampires but he'd never have committed genocide. He'd never have experimented on living people." Jeremy spat, coming up beside Elena as he spoke.

"Jeremy. You're bringing your brother into this craziness now?" The Professor seemed appalled. "What age is he?"

"None of your business dick." Jeremy spat again.

"Where is the cure?" Stefan cut straight to the point and the Professor smirked and looked down at his knees.

"It doesn't exist."

"You're a liar." Stefan clenched his jaw.

"No, actually I'm not. It's been my life's work to create that pathogen. Why would I create a cure for one of the most valuable contributions I could make to the survival of the human race?" He was so calm, so sure of himself and it made them all on edge.

"Because you've created a plague that will kill millions of people!" Caroline argued, taken aback at his lack of empathy.

"Millions of vampires." He corrected.

"It's really that easy for you to separate us in your mind isn't it? Sheep from cattle." Elena shook her head. "Do you know what happened to them both in here? Or did you leave the dirty work to other people?" She challenged.

"You mean the two people you evidently murdered?" He looked around, towards the basement where the evidence of fire was still apparent. "I should have known I'd been compelled to believe there was a chemistry experiment gone wrong here."

"Make us a cure and you won't suffer the same fate." Stefan growled, surprising everyone with his tone.

They had to get down to business. Damon was suffering.

"You can compel me all you want but I won't help you. I've enough vervain in me to outlast your control. You'll be starving soon and you'll do your duty to the cause. I can wait it out."

"What do you mean wait it out?" Caroline asked warily.

"He's the carrier, he was prepped for it. He'll outlive all of you and spread the infection until there's no one left to eat and he'll mummify. Damon on the other hand has probably a day if my calculations are correct."

"He's a carrier too." Stefan gritted his teeth, feeling a little triumphant that Damon's blood had been so changed in their time here too, but the professor just gave him a knowing smile.

"Because you fed him your blood?" He said and Stefan stared him out in surprise. "That won't save him. It might keep him alive a little longer and it obviously has. He should have been dead from your bite already."

"I never bit him. He drank the virus from my blood."

"He wanted your blood though, didn't he? Did he before? I doubt it. We knew what you were up to down there Stefan. We counted on it. We hoped we could have two carriers so we could put you on different continents but we only cultivated enough for one of you to be injected. We figured if he managed to take blood from you in your attempt to bite him, then we could measure his lifespan afterwards. He's lasted about 12 hours longer than I expected."

"He's not going to die. He's fine." Stefan spat.

"Feral?"

No one answered and the Professor nodded.

"Amazing." He mumbled to himself and Stefan lunged for him.

No one could stop him as Stefan knocked him onto the floor on his back. He was handcuffed so meticulously to the chair that he couldn't move an inch. Stefan grabbed his throat and flashed his fangs in anger and Caroline shouted in warning.

"Stefan we need him!"

"Go on, kill me. I knew everything that happened down there Stefan, in fact some of it was my idea."

Stefan growled in outrage and bit into his neck fiercely, interested only in causing severe pain. The Professor shouted in agony and Stefan pulled himself back panting.

"What? Because I crave vampire blood I'm not going to bite humans anymore?! I'm a vampire! I do what the hell I want!" Stefan laughed and the Professor shrank away from him. "Everyone leave us a minute please." Stefan instructed and Elena began to argue. "Please!"

They begrudgingly left and went outside to the cars and Stefan pulled the Professor to sit upright again.

"Why me? Why didn't you cut me?" He demanded and the Professor gasped as blood oozed down his neck slowly.

"Your history."

"What?"

"We knew about you, about your problems with restraint. It made you the better choice to be the carrier."

"Because Stefan was a ripper?" Stefan said, irritated at not having made that connection before.

The Professor frowned at his use of the third person and tensed his hands, desperate to clamp his hand over his neck to stop the blood. Stefan leaned back staring at him and thinking.

"You have no idea who I am." Stefan folded his arms.

"I've read your file."

"So you think that not only am I a ripper and so I have to feed on animals because I can't trust myself, but that I am tortured by my empathy and compassion for all of my wrong doings. That I'm the kind of guy that wouldn't kill you because it wouldn't be ethical."

The professor searched his face.

"That's a whole lot of trust to put in a bio." Stefan commented and circled around him, enjoying the predatory vibe he was emitting.

"You're unusually emotional for one of them. We knew if you could kill your own brother you'd kill anyone of them."

"How did you know I didn't hate him anymore? That I didn't think he deserved this after all of his wrong doings?"

"You reacted whenever we hurt him. There's no hiding genuine affection at times like that."

Stefan stopped walking and stood in front of him staring at him with eyes blazing with fire.

"You cut him to test how much I felt for him?"

"Easiest way to measure."

"So, you cut up a living being, without any anaesthesia just to bring us close enough together that you'd know if I was capable of killing without any qualms?"

"Calculated risk."

Stefan kicked him against the wall and toppled him over again in a moment of rage. The human coughed dazed by a blow to the head from the wall and blinked rapidly as Stefan jumped on top of him and growled.

"His eyes. They cut out his eyes! Was that your idea?!" Stefan pulled his arm and dislocated the shoulder with ease and the Professor screamed in pain.

Elena and Caroline burst in the door in fear and Stefan stepped back laughing. Both girls looked to the Professor, assessing him for fatal injury.

"You have no idea." Stefan laughed and walked around the room, touching pieces of equipment idly.

He lifted a scalpel that was lying on a surgical trolley and examined it closely against the light of the room and the Professor tensed.

"No idea." Stefan chuckled again and Elena took a step towards him warily. "You want to know what Damon wouldn't tell you Elena?"

She gulped as he looked to her. She couldn't take her eyes from the scalpel he was holding.

"Damon called the doctor here, Dr Mengele. Do you know why?"

"Dr Mengele?" Caroline frowned as her brain started to process and run through all the data she had accumulated from her studies.

"Imagine the most heinous crimes anyone could ever dream up." He said and Elena swallowed. "Imagine the most atrocious torture and mutilation you can conceive of inflicting on another human being and pour it all into one self righteous man."

"Stefan you're scaring me." Elena whispered.

"Todesengel, they called him in the concentration camps." Stefan mused and Caroline's eyes reflected her horror as she finally clicked as to whom Stefan was referring.

"Angel of death." Caroline whispered.

"He'd perform experiments in the name of science too. In the name of progression of medicines and the glory of the Third Reich." Stefan continued. "He cut peoples organs out while they were alive and screaming too."

"Oh my god." Elena covered her mouth as she realised what he was inferring.

She looked at the Professor in horror.

"Funny really. Damon would have been the better choice as a carrier. He doesn't have much restraint because he doesn't see the need. He does what he wants. He would have killed vampires for you no problem. Me on the other hand – I'm not a ripper. I'm not your ripper and I don't give a damn about empathy and feel guilt over my past because I don't have one."

"Stefan." Now Caroline spoke in warning as Elena blurred and vomited in a sink at the far corner of the room in distress at what Damon had endured.

"I don't give a damn about morality." Stefan stuck out his bottom lip in a very Damon-esque fashion as he mocked the Professor who was now watching wide eyed. "I don't care about doing the right thing and I can control myself. I can control myself so well that I choose who I feed from and infect."

Stefan stood in front of the professor confidently and flicked his wrist towards him, sending the scalpel flying through the gap between them and into the Professor's right eye. Everyone but Stefan screamed. Stefan moved to pull the scalpel out and held it over the Professor's face as he growled.

"I could even be the new Angel of Death if it gets me what I want."

"Help! Help me!" The Professor screamed and Elena sunk to the floor and sobbed, putting her head in her hands as Caroline panicked, unsure what Stefan would do.

"I'm going to start with this eye, and then I'm going to take the other one after that. Shame you're not a vampire. They won't grow back will they? Not without vampire blood to heal you. What a shame I will scare every one of them in a 50 mile radius as far away from you as possible to prevent you getting a drop unless you cure us."

"Never!" The Professor shouted as the pain of his eye wound made him crazed and hysterical.

"Just because I might crave vampire blood more than human now, doesn't mean that it won't give me time to appreciate them. I'll have all the time in the world to kill every single human in this town, in this state, if I am bored because I don't give a shit about anyone but Damon. So if he dies, I might just find myself a new hobby. I might do some experimenting of my own in your honour. Maybe you could teach me? Tell me if I'm cutting them right?"

"You wouldn't!" The Professor cried.

"Stefan Salvatore wouldn't…" Stefan paused and smiled. "But I would."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 TNB

"Please Stefan!" Elena and Caroline both screamed, horrified as he leant in with intention of removing the professor's eye from its socket.

The professor screamed in terror, but Stefan felt unbelievably calm. Everything seemed perfectly logical and simple.

"Stefan this isn't you! You're not a monster!" Caroline shouted and he paused, looking back at her.

"How the hell would you know Blondie?" He spat and Caroline reeled from the verbal attack and looked to Elena.

"Stefan, wait. You trust me don't you? You know I love Damon just as much as you do. You know that." Elena held her hands up defensively as she stood up and approached him.

He scrutinised her carefully.

"You know how much I love him. I don't want him to die. I'll do whatever it takes to save him. You believe me don't you?" She asked and he chewed his lip. "This isn't the way. Damon wouldn't want you to do this."

Stefan gave a chuckle of disbelief.

"You don't know him at all do you?" He said and she blanched. "This is exactly what he would do. He wouldn't even hesitate if it saved you."

Elena swallowed and Caroline looked down at the floor in acknowledgement of that truth. Damon would absolutely do exactly what Stefan was, to get what he needed. Stefan had been learning from a terrible example and now he couldn't be argued with.

"Maybe not, but sometimes he reacts out of emotion and regrets it afterwards, he just doesn't talk about it or admit it." She said and Stefan chuckled again and shook his head. "If he really were some kind of sociopath he wouldn't have struggled so much with his feelings for you. If he really did always take what he wanted, he'd have crossed that bridge with you earlier – wouldn't he?" She asked and that made his smile drop.

"He might not talk about his feelings with people but he has them and he suffers Stefan. He has regrets and so will you." She continued.

"Besides, how is he going to make us a cure if he can't see?" Caroline stepped to her side, gesturing to the trembling human and Stefan's eyes hazed over for a second as he realised they were right.

He let the human go and stood back, clenching the scalpel in his fist.

"You don't deserve not to suffer like he did. I promise you I will make it long and slow if you don't fix him." He warned and bit into his wrist, shoving it to the human's mouth as he cried out in fear. "Drink up dear. Need to heal the eye don't we?"

He pulled his wrist back and licked it clean as the professor's eye healed slowly, making him groan and wince. Elena stepped up behind Stefan and rubbed his back.

"Let us talk to him." She requested and he nodded and backed away.

He walked to the door and turned back to look at the professor pointedly.

"You've got as long as he's breathing and then I'll turn you. Once I've done that I'll bite you so you get to enjoy your work first hand." He gave a menacing smile as the professor's eyes widened and he left, shutting the door behind him.

He stumbled down the steps towards the car, trying to breathe as his legs trembled. He'd had no idea what he was doing there. He'd just tried to imagine what Damon would have done and been strong. The human seemed to be sufficiently scared so it looked like it had worked. Their only problem now was time. He leant against the Camaro as he trembled from the depletion of adrenaline and Jeremy got out of the car.

"You ok?" He asked and Stefan nodded.

"Yeah."

"What happened to you in there?" Jeremy frowned in concern and Stefan shook his head.

"Don't worry kid."

"I know you've lost your memory and all but I've been through a lot of things Stefan. You and I have been through some crazy shit together."

"Really?" Stefan looked at him and shook his head. "You're so young, not that I feel any different. Right now I feel about as old as the time I've spent out in the air."

Jeremy gave a small laugh and leant against the car by his side.

"Funny how age doesn't matter once you've died a few times and had to deal with witches, vampires and spirits." Jeremy gave a smile at how ridiculous it all was and Stefan gave a chuckle.

"Fucking Mystic Falls." Stefan commented and shook his head. "You should leave, run for your life."

"Because life works that way right?"

"Huh?" Stefan looked to him.

"Shit happens. Doesn't matter where you are."

"Oh I don't know. Seems like Mystic Falls is a magnet for this kind of crazy. Your sister included."

"Maybe, but it's the price you pay for having your eyes open. I'd rather know what was out there, what I was up against than live afraid and hiding from the world. You taught me that."

"What?"

"That you can't hide from your problems because they'll follow you wherever you go until the beat you."

"I said that?"

"Yip."

Stefan blew out a breath and looked towards the lab building.

"What a self-righteous asshole." He said and Jeremy began to chuckle.

Stefan began to chuckle too.

"You're not so different. You're still a good guy."

"Maybe, but not the same one."

"You and Damon…are you really...?" Jeremy didn't know what to ask exactly and Stefan looked at him.

"Yeah. Does that disgust you?"

Jeremy frowned and folded his arms as he thought on how to respond.

"I guess I can't imagine being in your shoes. You know, not remembering." He said diplomatically and Stefan relaxed and nodded. "You're really ok? You're not going to go all ripper on us?"

"No." Stefan said calmly.

"How's that possible?"

"I don't know, I'm just not like that. I've never had a problem feeding."

"I wanted to forget for a long time – my parents. I thought if I couldn't remember them, it wouldn't hurt so much that they were dead."

"You don't wish for that anymore?" Stefan raised his eyebrows.

"No." Jeremy smiled in acceptance. "The memories I have of them are part of me. They help me be a better guy. They make me who I am."

"Exactly." Stefan nodded and fell silent, no further explanation of his statement being offered as Jeremy looked to him awaiting a response.

Damon groaned in the trunk and made a pitiful attempt to pound the lid of the safe and Stefan moved to the trunk and lifted the lid, leaning down to place his hand on the steel as though by touching it, he could comfort him.

"I'm here and I love you Damon. Keep calm." He whispered through the holes and Damon groaned again.

It sounded as though he was in pain and Stefan bit his lip in concern.

"Damon can you talk? Can you talk to me?"

"Stefan." Came the groan and Stefan felt his heart skip a beat. "Let me out."

"Soon. I promise. Sleep just now, just sleep and everything will be fine."

"No…" Damon choked and Stefan placed his cheek against the steel and exhaled.

"Pretend I'm with you, in your enormous, ridiculous bed and sleep." Stefan cooed.

Damon's breathing came in small gasps that almost sounded like crying and Stefan closed his eyes tight.

"When we get home, I'm going to look after you. I'm going to melt this thing down!"

Damon fell silent again and Stefan placed a kiss onto the steel. Jeremy looked away, giving them a moment of privacy Stefan was grateful for. Caroline emerged and frowned at the display, holding herself. She couldn't quite understand how two brothers could think they could do this. Stefan needed to get his memory back pronto before something serious happened between them, that they couldn't go back on. She walked over slowly, deliberately walking on the gravel path to alert Stefan to her presence and he straightened up and closed the trunk lid again.

"He's co-operating, but he wasn't lying about a cure. I don't think he did create one, so he's going to have to start now." She said sympathetically.

"How long will that take?" Jeremy frowned in concern and she shrugged and gave a sigh. "How long do we have?"

"Not long." Stefan mumbled, thinking on the Professor's words.

If what he'd said was true, Damon had less than 12 hours until he would be dead if he wasn't a carrier. Stefan sucked in a deep breath and looked to Caroline.

"I need to check if he's a carrier too."

"If you open that trunk you know he'll go for you Stefan and if he bites one of us…" she began, when Jeremy interrupted.

"I'll help you. I'll hold him down by force if I need to."

"Thank you." Stefan said gratefully, opening the lid again and looking down at the lock on the safe. "Damon, it's me. I need to check you ok? I need you not to fight because we are all in danger."

Damon grunted miserably.

"You have to stay in here do you understand? If you don't you could hurt people." Stefan explained and Damon kicked on the lid. "Damon you could kill Elena."

Damon fell silent as Stefan's heart thudded loudly in his ears.

"I'm going to open the safe ok?" Stefan asked and there was further silence.

Caroline retreated a few steps back and looked around to make sure no one was within hearing range and nodded to Stefan. Stefan leant down and opened the safe slowly, creaking the lid up so that he could peek inside. Damon opened his eyes and looked up at him and Stefan gasped and threw the lid open fully as he leant down and touched his face.

"Damon!" He said worriedly as he cupped his cheeks.

Damon was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and had ugly grey veins creeping up the sides of his face. He closed his eyes as Stefan touched him gently and whispered words of love and comfort. Stefan leant down and kissed his lips gently and Damon grunted.

"How do you feel? Describe it." Stefan said hurriedly.

"Hungry." Damon groaned.

"I know, I know." Stefan cooed at him, biting into his wrist and offering it to him. "I know it doesn't taste like you want but it'll help."

Damon accepted the wrist and began to drink as Jeremy came to Stefan's side and looked in. He stepped back, gulping and looked to Caroline who was chewing her bottom lip off. Stefan gave out an anguished sigh and hung his head.

"He's not a carrier, just like that bastard said." He admitted and Caroline nodded, understanding what that meant.

Stefan placed a kiss on Damon forehead and withdrew his wrist. Damon groaned in misery and reached for him.

"I'm going to get you out of here, but please just try and sleep." Stefan sniffled and Damon groaned again, full of emotion. "I love you."

"I don't want to die in here Stefan." Damon whispered and Stefan held back tears as he reassured him that was not going to happen.

He locked the safe again and put his face in his hands. Jeremy touched his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"Ok, so now we know." Caroline said, snapping to attention. "We need to speed this along, find some other people who can help the professor with this."

"They're dead!" Stefan spat, fighting tears and she blew a breath out through her nose.

"Yeah, but there are others here who could assist even – other students, teachers?"

"Won't they be on vervain?" Jeremy pointed out and she nodded as she thought it through.

"Ok, so no teachers but the students won't be. I met some of the third year Chem students when I was trying to crash study to get into the Professor's class. I could see if they are around." She suggested and Stefan looked to her as he considered it.

"You think they can help?"

"Maybe. At the very least they can be his assistants and leverage in case he tries to trick us." She said and Stefan nodded, his eyes widening at how clever a plan that was.

She nodded and headed off in the direction of one of the faculty buildings. Stefan and Jeremy both entered the building again to find Elena checking through reams of paperwork she had pulled out of every available drawer. The Professor was sitting at a desk trying to write down his equations. He stopped when Stefan entered and looked at him in fear.

"Damon's not a carrier, so the clock's ticking." He said simply, before moving to Elena and trying to help her.

She handed him some notes, but discretely moved a few folders aside. It didn't escape his notice and he reached for them.

"What are these?" He asked and she tried to take them back from him.

"Stefan maybe you shouldn't." She said and he opened the file to see photographs and charts of Damon's anatomy.

He felt bile rise in his mouth and he slammed the files down onto the floor in disgust. He looked over at the professor and Elena touched his arm gently.

"Forget him and help me." Her voice was full of authority and it stopped him going for the human again.

He looked at her and she pointed to a filing cabinet behind her in instruction. He moved to it and began to search through its contents.

After around three hours Caroline had supplied three Chem students whom she'd compelled not to ask questions. The human stakes rising, made the professor nervous and more eager in his work but everything still seemed to be going in slow motion. They were running out of time! Stefan checked on Damon every half hour and became increasingly concerned by Damon's inability to be coherent.

At hour six, the professor thought he had something and they began to cultivate the mixture. The chem students were invaluable and Stefan had pulled Caroline into a fierce hug which had lasted for 5 minutes as he'd given himself over to emotion and gratitude. She was gracious as always and had sat with him, holding his hand as they had waited.

Bonnie had brought her grimoire and began to try to cultivate something of her own. Without her magic she felt powerless and frustrated but not all magic came with chanting and floating things – she had devoted herself to learning earth magic, supplied by herbs and plants thanks to her mom's help and so she began to try everything she could think of to help.

The first few mixtures flopped quickly, leaving Stefan feeling sick and irritated. They all had to be careful. If Stefan lost control he could infect them and kill all of the humans. Stefan refused every suggestion of trying the cures out on Damon forthright. He wouldn't allow anything to touch Damon or enter him that might harm him further so he made himself the test subject for all of their trials.

"Stefan, you can't take much more. We have no idea what this stuff is doing to you." Elena begged as Stefan vomited into a toilet and she rubbed his back.

"No one touches him except me." Stefan panted and drew back to flop against the cold porcelain.

"It's not going to help Damon if you're sick." She pointed out.

"We don't have time!" He snapped and the veins in his face appeared, making her stand back. "I'm hungry." He gritted his teeth at her and she took a step back in fear.

"Stefan!" Jeremy cried out, rushing in and Stefan stood up in alarm at the expression on his face. "I think he's…I…"

"No!" Stefan cried and ran from the room, out of the lab towards the car as he was filled with blind panic. "Damon?! Damon!"

Damon didn't answer and Stefan didn't hesitate as he pulled the safe open. Jeremy, Caroline and Elena followed and stood back as Stefan reached in and pulled Damon from the safe. Damon was limp in his arms and Elena cried out and ran towards them.

"Damon!" She cried and Stefan turned to face her grief stricken.

Damon looked dead, grey and lifeless and Stefan fell to his knees as he held him to him.

"No. He's not dead." Elena shook her head as tears fell from her face. "He's not dead!"

Stefan cupped Damon's face with one hand and called to him but there was no answer. He began to weep helplessly as Elena shouted and begged. Everyone was ashen faced with grief at the display and none of them could move. Jeremy sat down on the steps to the building and put his head in his hands and Caroline just watched, frozen in place. Bonnie came out behind her and stood motionless too.

"No, no!" Elena cried, punching the ground as she sank to her knees too and Stefan cradled Damon's head to his chest and looked up at the night sky.

The stars were bright despite the gloom around him and he paused for a moment as he appreciated them. He'd never stopped to look at them before. The sky was so black, as black as Damon's hair. Elena's cries became a hum as he drowned everything out. Without Damon he would be lost again, drifting. His angel gone. He liked his life now but only as an extension of what he'd dreamed of with Damon at the centre. He didn't want to live forever, it still didn't feel real, possible. All he had planned for was the next fifty years. After that, he had no idea. If Damon was with him and they did live forever and stay young like they were, then the possibilities were endless, but alone? No. He didn't want forever alone. He began to come out of his daze when Elena tried to remove Damon from his arms. He blinked and pulled back at her hands possessively.

He growled at her and hissed with his fangs and she growled back and challenged him, pulling to hold Damon to her.

"Get away from us!" Stefan shouted and immediately everyone moved closer in fear for her.

"Make me!" She growled, her own fangs showing now.

"Elena get away!" Caroline shouted.

"Elena!" Jeremy was up on his feet.

"Bite me." She challenged and he tried to stand and carry Damon away.

She grabbed at him and he hissed again, desperately looking towards her neck as her scent drifted towards him.

"Fine if you won't then I will!" She shouted and bit into her wrist.

His eyes opened wide and he let Damon rest on his knees as he tried to grab her. She had other plans and grabbed Damon from him in a flash shoving her wrist to Damon's mouth, before he had a chance to stop her. Damon's eyes sprang open and he bit into her arm, growling. Everyone screamed and Stefan gasped and sat back while Damon drank. He was alive! Stefan smiled in relief and then he watched her blood trickle from Damon's mouth. He wanted it. He lunged for her too and bit into her neck as Jeremy ran towards them screaming and pulling a weapon from his belt, but it was too late as Elena convulsed and felt her veins fill with the venom pathogen.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 TNB

Stefan pulled back in time to see a stake aimed at his heart as Jeremy charged forward and he held his hands up defensively and tossed Elena out of Damon's grip, onto the ground at Jeremy's feet. Jeremy paused in surprise and grabbed her as her body shook and her mouth foamed. Damon was alive and grunting desperately. Stefan held him to him and lifted him as he struggled. He staggered towards the safe and threw him inside, slamming the lid down as he locked it and fell to his knees.

"Oh my god!" Caroline and Bonnie were crying as Bonnie kept Caroline from Elena's grasp.

Elena stopped shaking and took a deep breath, looking up at Jeremy.

"What the hell were you doing? What the hell...?!" Jeremy shouted at her as she panted and retracted her fangs.

"Is she...?" Caroline began.

"Infected." A voice came from behind them.

They all turned to look and saw the professor standing holding a Petri dish in his hand.

"You! This is your fault!" Caroline screamed and Bonnie held her by her arms to calm her.

"Bring her in." The professor said blankly and walked back inside the lab as Jeremy carried Elena through.

As soon as they passed Caroline, Elena growled and tried to grab her, snapping her fangs. Caroline fell back out of reach and began to weep in horror. Elena began to shriek like an animal, but Jeremy held her tight.

"She's so strong!" He exclaimed, struggling to hold her and Bonnie dashed into the lab and moved a surgical table with straps on it over.

They placed Elena on the table as she shouted and foamed at the mouth.

"Break her neck or she'll break free." The professor encouraged and Jeremy shook his head in horror. "If you want her to live you'll do it."

Jeremy exhaled in torment. This was his sister, he couldn't do that to her. Caroline pushed him aside and snapped Elena's neck round with ease and he fell backwards into a surgical trolley as Bonnie placed her hands on Elena's body to check she would stay down.

"So fast, it happened so fast!" Caroline was ranting and Bonnie nodded numbly.

"This is out of control. Don't you see that? In this state they won't discriminate who they kill – just like Stefan said. They'll kill everyone, not just vampires and they'll do it like rabid animals!" Bonnie said looking to the professor.

"Stefan…" Caroline gasped and turned to go outside when Jeremy stopped her.

"No." He said simply as he marched outside.

Stefan was on the ground gasping and looking up at the sky as he approached.

"Stefan." Jeremy's voice was hard, full of tension and anger and Stefan looked to him.

"She knew." He mumbled.

"What?" Jeremy asked, still tight.

"She knew he needed blood. She knew only normal vampire blood would keep him alive a little longer. I've been feeding him, but it wasn't pure. I'm…I'm different."

"Stefan…"

"She knew we wouldn't be able to resist and that we needed more time. She knew we needed another test subject. She tried to convince me…" He trailed off as Jeremy gritted his teeth trying to fight the urge to kill Stefan right there.

"She's my sister."

"I get it now." Stefan looked at him dazed. "I can see why I would have loved her. Why he does."

"She's going to die now." Jeremy's words were clipped and measured as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

"No." Stefan said simply and dragged himself to an upright position. "She's saved us."

"What are you talking about?"

"Time. We've got time." Stefan said as he tried to walk towards the lab again.

Jeremy stood in his way, blocking him and Stefan stopped.

"I need to put you down." He said and Stefan exhaled and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Jer." Bonnie called from the steps and they both looked to her. "I think we've found something. We need him."

Jeremy held himself tight as Stefan walked past him and into the lab again. He paused when he saw Elena strapped down. His stomach rolled. Just like he and Damon had been strapped down. Caroline kept her distance from him and looked to the professor.

"Have you got it?" He asked him directly and the professor looked to his human colleagues as they all chewed their lips.

"There's a chance. Without time to test it…"

"There is no time." Stefan growled under his breath. "Inject me."

"It might kill you instead. I have no idea what it will do. We haven't perfected it, ran any trials…"

"One more excuse…just one more." Stefan warned and Bonnie sighed and held herself.

"We've got no choice. Give it to me." Stefan stepped forward, rolling up his sleeve.

The professor nodded and produced a needle. Stefan swallowed and held his breath. Let this one be the one. Please god! The injection didn't hurt but once the needle was removed it felt like he was on fire. He fell to his knees screaming and trying to bat down his body as though the flames were real. Everyone gave him a wide berth in fear, flattening themselves to the walls as he rolled around and thrashed. Slowly, very slowly, the fire receded and he began to calm down and lay his face into the cold marble floor for relief. No one moved. No one dared to breathe.

The professor moved down to him and took his arm. Stefan lay limp and allowed it as the professor took a blood sample from him and went back to his microscope. It seemed like hours ticked past as they all waited and Stefan tried to get himself into a sitting position. He felt horrendous, battered, bruised and weak. The professor sat back in his stool suddenly and everyone snapped to attention, the tension in the room so focused it could burn a whole in the air.

"Well?" Jeremy prompted and the professor turned around to look at them all.

"Congratulations."

"It worked?" Bonnie asked in amazement.

"Congratulations, you've just ruined the best chance we had at ridding the world of vampires forever." The bitterness in his voice was evident as he spoke but it only made them all more elated.

"Wait, we can't know from one trial. There has to be several before we know if it works." Caroline pointed out before her eyes widened and she looked to Elena. "She figured that before I did. She infected herself on purpose so there'd be another test subject."

Jeremy rubbed his eyes tiredly and Bonnie nodded in realisation. Stefan stood up, using the wall for support as he looked to them all.

"Are you saying that it might not work on anyone else?" Jeremy asked, looking from one to the other and Caroline shrugged. "So let's try it."

"No, Damon first." Stefan said and Jeremy huffed in anger.

"The world doesn't revolve around Damon!" Jeremy bellowed and Bonnie put her hand on his arm to calm him.

"No, Stefan's right. We have to test it on someone who's been affected longer and has fed. Elena hasn't fed on anyone yet so her blood may be different from theirs – not as advanced. If it works on Damon, then it should work on her." Caroline explained and looked to the professor who smirked.

"If it works on Damon. He wasn't infected by bite. His blood was already different." The professor stated.

"So was mine." Stefan challenged.

"You were prepared for it specifically. Damon may have drank your blood but his body wasn't as conditioned as yours was for the virus."

Stefan stood upright away from the wall.

"Only one way to know." Stefan said and moved a step closer to the professor who shrank back. "Fill two more needles."

"Why should I when you're going to kill me anyway?"

"I'll kill you quickly." Stefan said and Caroline sighed in exasperation.

"Enough! Enough with the testosterone! You…" She pointed at the professor, "Fill the needles and you…" she turned to Stefan, "Bring Damon in here."

Both of them stared at her in surprise at her feistiness and she glared at them both.

"We seriously need more women in this field." She shook her head as both men went to their duties and Bonnie gave a short chuckle.

"True dat." Bonnie said as Jeremy folded his arms and rolled his eyes.

Caroline clicked back into her usual mode of ordering people around and had Stefan put Damon on the other surgical table. It was traumatic doing so as Damon had become distressed and struggled as they tied him down, with Stefan talking to him and reassuring him that no one was going to hurt him. All Damon felt was fear as he looked up at the ceiling he'd stared at countless times as they cut into his body. He shook and fought and Stefan had to hold him down and hold his face in place so he could look into his eyes.

"It's me. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Damon shook his head and struggled as the professor carried the needle over. Damon's muscles tensed and he cried out in terror. Stefan leaned down to his face and held his cheeks tight.

"Angel, listen to me, angel. I won't leave you."

"I'm not…an ang…ahhh!" Damon screamed as the needle pierced his skin and he thrashed wildly.

They all stepped back as Damon screamed and writhed uncontrollably. Stefan remained, holding him and whispering encouraging words as Damon screamed of fire and pain. Jeremy and Bonnie held each other. They didn't want Elena to feel this too, it was so horrible. After a few minutes Damon sagged and closed his eyes, gasping and Stefan wiped the sweat from his forehead and kissed his face whispering to him.

"It's going to be ok now. The fire's gone. The fire's gone." He cooed and the professor came forward and injected Elena now.

She was still out of it, but her body trembled and jerked to a lesser degree as the mixture flowed through her body and burned away the pathogen. Jeremy held her hand throughout as Bonnie placed a damp cloth on her forehead. They were so thankful she was unconscious. Her shaking was brief before her body melted into the table too.

"Test them." Caroline encouraged, directing the chem students to help, taking blood samples and passing them to the professor to check.

"How's my sister?" Jeremy prompted and the professor moved the small strip of glass around under the microscope searching for traces of the pathogen.

"Gone." He admitted regretfully and everyone sighed in relief.

"Damon?" Stefan posed and the professor put Damon's slide under the microscope and looked through his lens.

He turned the lens a few times and moved the slide around as everyone waited impatiently.

"Well?" Stefan demanded desperately and the professor let out a sigh and placed both hands on the worktop as he took his eye from the microscope.

He sat back and folded his arms around himself and turned around to face them.

"Sorry." He said bluntly, with no such apology in his tone.

"Huh?" Jeremy said.

"His blood isn't responding."

"What do you mean he's not responding? It works!" Stefan gasped and the professor shook his head.

"Not on him."

"How? How?!" Stefan shouted. "Did you give him something else? Did you give us the cure and dose him with something else?" Stefan screamed and Caroline and Jeremy grabbed him, holding him back as he tried to lunge for the human.

The chem students shrank back in fear for their lives.

"Like I said, not everyone responds at this early stage. Tests need to be done, studies…" The professor stated and Stefan panted, looking towards Damon.

"What do we do now, keep looking? Try something else?" Caroline suggested and the professor shook his head.

"He's dying. I'm sorry. By the time we cultivate something else he'll be dead. You saw how long we worked on this one."

"No!" Stefan shouted in rage. "Fix him now!"

"I can't." The professor said simply. "Even if I wanted to. It's too late."

"I'll kill you! I'll kill everyone you've ever met! I'll cut them into little pieces!"

"It still won't save him." The professor stood up calmly and brushed himself down nonchalantly. "So just get it over with already. Let the students go and I won't fight."

Stefan panted and struggled in Jeremy and Caroline's hold.

"Stefan?" Damon whispered and Stefan looked over to him.

Damon reached a hand out towards him and Stefan crumpled and went to him, no longer caring about anything else. Damon cupped the back of his head and pulled Stefan down for a soft kiss. Stefan wept as he drew back and stroked his hands through Damon's hair. Damon was weak and grey again.

"You need to put me back in the safe." Damon advised and Stefan shook his head. "I'm infectious."

"No. I promised you I wouldn't leave you in there."

"Let me go." Damon said and Stefan buried his face in his neck, sobbing. "I'm the worst thing that could have ever happened to you. Even they know that." Damon cooed and Stefan shook his head. "Elena will look after you. She'll teach you things."

Stefan shook his head and wound his arms around Damon's back, lifting him into a sitting position and drawing back.

"I can't give up." He said and Damon wilted and leaned into him, unable to support himself.

"Safe." Damon whispered, groaning. "You have to Stefan."

"No." Stefan held his face in his hands. "Not in the dark, alone."

"Do it!" Damon gritted his teeth and Stefan swallowed. "It's what I want."

Stefan lifted him into his arms as everyone watched full of grief and Damon melted into him like a wet rag. Stefan sobbed all the way to the car and looked up at the approaching dawn in the sky. Damon opened his eyes and looked up at it squinting.

"You've got so much stuff to enjoy." Damon said and Stefan shook his head.

"Not without you."

"Don't be a drama queen." Damon attempted to smirk as Stefan lay him down into the safe.

"No more than you are?" Stefan gave a small smile.

Everyone came out slowly to watch. Stefan looked over to them and saw that Elena was with them now, being supported by Bonnie as she rubbed her neck. He exhaled and closed his eyes as he made his decision. He looked down at Damon as Damon closed his eyes.

"Move over."

"Huh?" Damon grunted and opened his eyes again.

"I said move over." Stefan tried to climb into the safe and Damon stared at him in horror.

"No!"

"Move over god damn you!" Stefan said annoyed and climbed in, moving Damon around him easily with Damon's lack of energy to resist.

"What are you doing Stef?"

"I said I wouldn't leave you and I won't."

"I'm dying Stefan, get out!" Damon protested.

"Then I'll lie here and hold you till you're gone and then I'll wait till I die too."

"You're not going to die you idiot, you're a vampire!"

"Then I'll just…" Stefan stumbled, trying to figure out what would happen to him if he didn't feed. "I'll just sleep."

"Elena!" Damon shouted for her and Stefan grunted in annoyance and curled himself around Damon shaking form. "Get him out of here!"

Elena approached the safe and looked down at them in dismay.

"Get him out!"

"I'm staying in here." Stefan said firmly and the others joined Elena around the trunk.

"Get him out for Christ's sake!" Damon choked as a tear spilled from his eye.

"Stefan…"

"No! This is my life! I don't want it without Damon. I won't do it." Stefan gritted his teeth and Caroline sighed in despair. "I will kill anyone who tries to pull me out of here and you know I will."

"Stefan…" Damon began to croak in grief and Stefan enfolded him in his arms and kissed his neck.

"There's no world without you." Stefan whispered.

"Stefan there's so much you haven't learned, there's so much to remember." Elena stumbled and Stefan looked at her in the eye.

"You would do this for him too." He said and she swallowed and nodded in admittance. "If I change my mind…"

"You'll be stuck in there!" Caroline said and he lay his face back into Damon's neck.

"A week." Jeremy said and everyone looked at him. "We'll come back in a week and if you want out…"

"I won't." Stefan said firmly.

"If you do, I'll let you out." Jeremy said and Elena began to argue with him. "And we can have a proper burial."

Everyone fell silent as Damon nodded in acceptance.

"It's not right to have you in there forever." Jeremy added. "We'll be here afterwards."

"Knew I kept you alive for a reason." Damon smirked, Jeremy chuckled in disbelief and Stefan nodded.

"One week." Elena said and Stefan tightened his hold on Damon and exhaled as she closed the lid down on them both and locked it.

They locked the trunk of the car and slowly moved back towards the building. They all felt numb.

"What do we do now?" Bonnie asked, taking Jeremy's hand.

"Clean this up I guess." Elena mumbled.

"He won't stay in there Elena. He still has you." Caroline comforted, putting her arm around her but Elena shook her head.

"He's not my Stefan. It took me all of this time to see that."

They walked back into the lab solemnly to find the chem students huddled together afraid as the professor sat and waited.

"I'll take care of them. You get everyone home. I'll take the Camaro." Caroline turned to Jeremy.

"Care…" Elena began but Caroline nodded her head.

"You look like you've just been in battle. I got this. I'm going to stay on campus tonight anyway so I'll keep the Camaro hidden and take them home tomorrow." Caroline smiled and Elena nodded. "Get some rest. Call Matt."

"Call me tomorrow." Bonnie hugged her and took Jeremy's hand again and they left, holding each other and headed back to their cars.

"So, where are you going to bury us then?" The professor asked once they had all taken off along the road and Caroline turned to look at him square in the eye.

"No one's going to die."

"Except your friend." The professor smirked.

"He wasn't my friend, but he was a person. A person you've murdered."

"Not as many as you."

"Yeah I've killed someone, but it was when I was new and hungry, confused. I didn't know what I was doing, which is more than I can say for you. You are the real monster here. You knew exactly what would happen to us and you calculated it, planned it. That makes you less human than me." She accused and he blinked.

She blurred over to him and grabbed his throat squeezing as her pupils expanded.

"You're not going to leave this room until I say so. You're going to sit there, shut up and listen to what I have to say." She compelled.

The students began to weep in fear and she let the professor go, coughing and turned to them.

"She bore her fangs at the students and they cried out in fear."

"Just like the rest…" The professor coughed and spluttered as he watched her and she pinned all three students to the wall and widened her pupils.

"No one is going to die here. This is all a nightmare. There were no experiments or vampires or plague. All you will remember is that you got loaded last night and stoned on some methane gas you were extracting in the lab. You're going to go back to your dorm and sleep it off. You're not going to mention it to anyone, not even each other, you're so embarrassed about it."

She stepped back from them and they all immediately looked stoned and tired.

"Hey Robin, late night last night?" She smiled and one of them students smiled and rubbed his eyes as they all grabbed their jackets.

"Caroline right? Yeah man, I gotta head home."

"Me too, I'm wasted." Another said and she stepped aside as they walked past her.

"See you in bio!" She chirped happily and they waved goodbye as they left the building, dragging their limbs back to the dorms.

"Why did you let them go?" The professor asked stupefied.

"Why wouldn't I? Oh yeah because I'm a vampire right? I don't have a soul. All I want to do is kill people." She folded her arms. "Wrong."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Now, I think…" She clicked her tongue and smiled to herself. "I think it's time you had a change in vocation."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 TNB

It wasn't long before Stefan realised just what a big decision he had made. As Damon shivered next to him and grunted, the blackness of the safe hit Stefan hard. He turned onto his side and pressed himself around Damon for comfort.

"Shouldn't…have gotten in here." Damon stuttered and Stefan buried his face into the back of Damon's neck. "Ste….fan. Call for them."

Stefan shook his head and said nothing. Damon slowly turned, forcing Stefan to roll onto his back again as Damon turned onto his side to face him. Stefan couldn't see his face. It was so dark, he had to reach out and touch him. His skin was so clammy and cold as Stefan traced the shape of his nose and cheekbones.

"Stefan, what if there's water?"

Stefan paused in disbelief.

"Why would you say that to me?" He demanded, hurt.

"What if Jeremy leaves you in here, in the dark. Outside, it could rain…"

"Stop it, I know what you're doing!" Stefan snapped out as his heart began to race. "Please."

"You…could..drown…" Damon exhaled in pain and Stefan began to pant and reach out to the sides of the safe, feeling for an escape as fear began to fill him. "You will drown."

"No! Damon please don't!" Stefan cried out as he began to search for the lid and hyperventilate.

Why was Damon taunting? Why would he say these things? Stefan began to pound on the lid and claw at the steel, like he'd done countless times before and Damon lay and let him. Stefan punched the steel hard and split his knuckles open. Damon inhaled sharply at the aroma of the blood and Stefan was roused from his mounting hysteria. He sucked in a deep breath and calmed himself.

"You're not going to win that way." He panted. "You're not going to scare me enough to get me to shout to be let out of here. I'm staying with you."

"What if you drown, over and over…"

"Stop it!" Stefan lashed out and made contact with Damon's jaw.

Damon groaned and fell onto his back beside him, surrendering. His taunts were all the energy he had left.

"Damon…" Stefan reached for him, pulling him into him as he apologised and traced his lips so he could lean over and kiss him.

Damon responded, relinquishing his control as he held onto Stefan desperately, full of emotion. They kissed deeply in between sobbing as Damon tired and had to drop his arms. Stefan held him like a doll.

"Don't be scared." He whispered and Damon sighed.

"I'm fine."

Stefan began to chuckle almost hysterically at the ridiculousness of Damon's comment. He squinted in the dark, trying to see Damon's eyes, so blue.

"We would have been great." Stefan stroked his cheek lightly, hooking his arm underneath him to hold him close and Damon gave a brief nod. "We would have been happy."

"Not in that cupboard you call an apartment." Damon grunted.

"Not in your palace either. We would have had our place, our bed, our life."

"You sound like a girl."

Stefan gave a short chuckle and closed his eyes as tears escaped. Damon trembled in a moment of pain and Stefan stroked through his hair.

"Does it hurt really bad?"

"No it feels like I'm being kissed by butterflies." Damon groaned sarcastically and Stefan fell silent. "I love you Stefan."

"I love you too." Stefan sighed and kissed his mouth again. "Don't leave me."

Damon sighed and lay his face in at Stefan's neck. They fell silent as the hum of the Camaro's engine began. Strange that it actually felt comforting. The safe vibrated with the movement and Stefan found comfort in the fact that there was no water outside, just life. He sighed and Damon slung his arm over his chest. He rolled him on top of him and stroked the back of Damon's head as Damon lay his face into his chest, pressing his lips to the fabric and inhaling Stefan's scent. Stefan began to weep silently, tears spilling down his face and tickling him in their descent to his neck. Damon's breathing got quieter so Stefan held him tight in his arms and tried to keep him talking.

"The first time we made love was so perfect. It was everything I imagined it would be. I wanted to spend time getting it right, seeing what you liked, learning it. I wanted to steal you and have you in bed all day so I could touch every piece of your skin." Stefan confessed as he stroked Damon's back. "You've got such lovely skin. It's so soft. I wanted to taste it. I wanted to make you happy."

"You did." Damon whispered, his lips moistening the fabric on Stefan's chest as he spoke.

"I wanted to take my time, I just, I just wanted you so badly. I'm sorry I rushed you."

"Hmmn." Damon mumbled. "It's just as well you did or we wouldn't have."

"What will happen to me?"

"You'll be ok. Elena will take care of you."

"No, I mean…if I don't feed." Stefan asked nervously and Damon exhaled and tried to lift his head to look at him.

"You will."

"No. I was born in this place. I'll die here too, as long as I'm with you I don't care about out there."

"I'm going to be a dried up mess of bones soon Stefan." Damon's voice broke as he spoke. "I don't want you to see me like that."

"But I can't leave you."

"Stefan this isn't some Shakespearian love story." Damon said pained. "Everything dies."

He leaned up to Stefan's mouth and kissed him soothingly as Stefan sniffled.

"I had you and it was the happiest I've ever been. I'm good." Damon said and Stefan pulled Damon's face into his neck and held him tight.

They sobbed against each other until they fell asleep exhausted. There was no concept of time in the darkness, so Stefan wasn't sure at first where he was or what was happening when he awoke and opened his eyes feeling blind immediately when he couldn't see. He gasped and tried to move his arms in front of his face when he realised that Damon was on top of him. Then he remembered and held him in a squeeze, whispering his name. Damon didn't respond and Stefan rolled him over and touched him, trying to shake some consciousness into him.

"Damon, please don't be gone. I'm not ready yet! Please!" He wept, bumping his head as he tried to sit up.

Damon stirred a little and Stefan felt it. He exhaled and reached for his face. That was perhaps the worst thing about all of this. He couldn't see Damon's beautiful face, even for the last time. He traced his fingers around his features trying to memorize everything and Damon's fangs descended. He pulled back in surprise and reached out to touch them. They were so sharp. He hadn't spent a lot of time looking at his own fangs. They freaked him out a little truth be told. He ran his thumb under one and pierced his flesh there, making Damon immediately twitch. Blood seemed to keep him going a little longer.

"Damon drink from me." Stefan said and Damon made a very hoarse sound of hunger.

Stefan pulled at him, dragging him on top of him again as much as the space would allow, bringing him back into his neck. Damon groaned in abject misery.

"Feed. It'll help the pain." Stefan knew he was being selfish.

This wasn't as much for Damon's benefit as he made out. Feeding would reduce the pain but would lengthen Damon's suffering because it would keep him going, but Stefan just couldn't let him go just yet. He just couldn't let go.

"Please…" Stefan croaked and Damon opened his mouth and bit down weakly.

Stefan tilted his neck to help in the effort and Damon suckled. Stefan could barely feel the sucking – nothing like Damon had done to him the time he'd fed on him before. This was so light, Stefan barely felt it, which worried him. Damon exhaled, dripping blood down Stefan's neck. He was so exhausted, even feeding was too much work. Stefan rolled them over again and bit into his wrist instead, placing it over Damon's lips. Damon opened his mouth and flicked his tongue out to catch stray drops. Stefan felt weaker quickly as his blood flowed into Damon, but he realised this was a good thing. The weaker he felt, the quicker he would expire too.

"If I dry out, I'll be as good as dead too. I'll fall asleep and never wake up. I'll come with you." Stefan whispered, sounding unhinged and Damon grunted, frowning at his words as he held Stefan's wrist fully to his mouth and bit into it now that he felt more alert.

"Yes, yes…" Stefan smiled to himself as he felt his body respond to the blood sharing. "Take it all."

Damon pushed him back to separate them and Stefan fell onto his back again. It felt like all they were doing was rolling backwards and forward together. Damon panted heavily and climbed on top of him again, licking at his neck and biting down as Stefan whimpered in pleasure and whispered encouragement. Stefan was erect in his jeans but Damon couldn't focus on anything but the blood as he filled his belly. He drew back when he felt full and lay his head on Stefan's chest again as he breathed. Stefan was so warm and comfortable to lie on. Damon closed his eyes, feeling peaceful.

Who knew how much time passed as they lay there. The Camaro engine vibrated again around them and it roused them both. The darkness of the safe began to feel comfortable, almost like a cocoon with Damon with him and Stefan found the lack of sight easier to handle. Damon was still breathing and cuddled into him and it felt right and good.

"Stefan." Damon whispered, blowing warm breath against Stefan's skin.

"Hmmn?"

"I don't want to die."

"Then don't." Stefan held him.

"I have to. I have to go." Damon sounded drunk.

"Stay with me just a little longer." Stefan croaked. "Drink from me."

"It hurts more." Damon complained and Stefan swallowed hard.

"Ok." Stefan surrendered. "Sleep, Damon angel. Let go."

Damon melted into him as though he'd been waiting for permission and Stefan closed his eyes and tried to relax. Damon was in pain, he was so tired. He had to let him go finally. It was what you did for people you loved when they couldn't fight any longer.

"Wait for me." He whispered into Damon's hair, stroking his fingers through it and Damon sagged against him.

It seemed final, like the last movement in his body. As though his soul was escaping the flesh and Stefan looked up into the blackness and imagined he could see the stars and the moon as it had shone on the water that first time they'd made love. Even though this was the end of their story, he didn't regret anything. They'd had some true happiness in those moments and he never wanted to forget them. Jeremy's words rang true after all – memories made you whole, they made you who you were, good or bad and Stefan wouldn't surrender them into the ether for the world. He'd hold onto them until his dying breath – which he hoped wouldn't be too far away now.

A day passed and Damon never moved. He was gone. It was hard not to feel the unbearable lonelyness that threatened to consume him, so he held onto Damon's body for comfort and spoke to him as though he was simply dreaming. He talked of his music, his life outside of Mystic Falls and how much he'd lived in the short time he'd been free. No one was here to listen to him anymore, but still the words felt like they needed to be said so he let them tumble. On the second day Damon felt colder, stiffer, so Stefan had had to roll them onto their sides. He wrapped his arms around the body, touching him at all times in the silence. When did silence get so loud it drowned out your own thoughts?

On the day after Stefan began to feel so depressed he couldn't stop sobbing. Time passed so slowly when you were conscious and he couldn't stand it. He began to bite into his wrists so he would bleed out. He wanted not to be here anymore. He tried to rip his own heart out but the pain made him falter and he just couldn't do it. His body still healed too fast and so it took ripping his wrists open repeatedly before he began to feel the effects of blood loss. He'd bled so much out that Damon was soaked in it, having lain beside him for some days now dead. The smell of blood filled the space and made Stefan feel sick.

His heart began to slow and he focussed on it, willing it to. As though by being more attentive to it, he could control the beat with his mind. He knew he didn't have long to go though, his body had started to shut down bit by bit and he was glad and happy. Strange to feel happy about death but it was where he desperately wanted to be now. He wanted to go where Damon had gone, to see him again. It was the only thought that held him together as he closed his eyes and fell into unconsciousness.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, how are you doing?" Jeremy wrapped a blanket around Elena's shoulders and she opened her mouth to remind him that vampires didn't feel the cold.

She stopped herself and smiled instead, happy to have something to snuggle into as she watched the fire crackle in the hearth. She'd been staying here with Jeremy since they'd come back from Whitmore. Knowing that Stefan was alive and locked in a box with a corpse had kept her wanting to be close by in case he cried out to be released, but he never did. It was like Jeremy had been standing on guard too, never leaving the boarding house and checking on the safe every day – sitting by it as the hours ticked away.

"Have you heard anything?" She asked him and he shook his head.

"I'm going to open it today." He advised. "I promised Damon."

She nodded and wrapped herself in the blanket as though it was a shield.

"I'm going to help."

"You might not want to see this Elena. Damon's going to be…" Jeremy ran out of words and she swallowed painfully and nodded.

"I should be there."

"Ok." He agreed regrettably.

He stood up and she looked up at him, eyes wide.

"Now?"

"Let's get this over with. We all need to move on. Stefan needs to move on." Jeremy said and helped her to her feet. "You can help him, just like Damon wanted."

They walked down to the basement where they'd placed the safe, safe from prying eyes and stopped before it. Elena could smell blood from the holes in the steel and she twitched her nose. The blood was old. Jeremy squeezed her hand and began to unlock it. He stood up and looked to her, taking a deep breath as he pulled the lid open, creaking it loudly in the attempt.

He stood back and let it air of the scent of blood and death and Elena stepped forward holding herself. They were curled into each other, covered in blood. They looked sort of peaceful in a macabre way. She tucked her hair behind her ears nervously.

"Stefan?" Her voice croaked as she tried to speak.

She knew a week wasn't long enough to drain and mummify a vampire completely. He'd just be very weak and out of it.

"Stefan it's Elena." She said gently, leaning down to touch him when she stopped and looked at Damon.

She covered her mouth with her hand and choked out a sob as she reached over and stroked his hair. They were oddly still so beautiful – the loves of her life. She placed a kiss onto Damon's forehead and pulled back to reach for Stefan when Damon opened his eyes. She pulled back in shock and gasped.

"Damon?" Jeremy gasped, coming forward to stand beside Elena and Damon blinked and frowned, trying to move.

"You're alive! You're alive?" She could barely speak and Damon exhaled and tried to figure out where he was.

He reached over to Stefan, lifting his arm to do so and paused when he saw how saturated his clothes were in blood. His eyes widened and he looked to Stefan in shock. He was too weak to get up though, although he tried.

"Stef…" He croaked as though his vocal chords had never been used.

His attempt to move sprang both Elena and Jeremy into action and Jeremy moved to help Damon from the safe, despite his growls to leave him alone. Jeremy lifted him into his arms and removed him for the safe while Elena tried to rouse Stefan. He was out but still alive and she lifted him easily from the safe and lay him on the floor next to where Jeremy had lain Damon. Damon managed to sit up and reached for Stefan as Elena stood back speechless.

"How is this...how can you be?" She tried to speak and Jeremy shook his head even though she wasn't asking him.

Damon looked up at them, squinting as he tried to focus.

"Where am I?"

"You're home. In the basement." Jeremy answered.

"Why am I here?" He whined almost like a child and they both looked to each other in confusion. "Why here?" Damon looked down at Stefan and shivered. "I should have known it'd be like this."

"What are you talking about?" Elena got down on her knees to try and understand.

"When is the doctor coming?"

"What?"

"Doctor." He repeated annoyed. "He can cut me up all he likes. It won't hurt anymore."

Elena shook her head and Jeremy retreated in search of blood bags.

"You're home you're safe Damon." She assured and Damon blinked at her.

"She'll look after him. The real one."

"Who?"

"Elena." He answered and she reached out for him, touching his arm but he flinched.

"Damon, it's me."

"Go to hell, demon lady!" He shouted and she moved back, feeling teary and frustrated.

"You think you're dead?" She guessed. "You think being in the basement with me and Stefan would be your hell?"

"He's dead." He gritted. "And you're here to torture me."

"No."

"Piss off and leave me to rot!"

She slapped him hard across the face and he blanched, panting in surprise.

"You wouldn't get off that easy you wanker! Think it through!" She snapped and he stared at her in surprise. "After everything you've done? Right now you're half way between life and hell because unless you snap out of it I will kill you." She said with force and he panted and stared at her still.

"Elena?" He whispered and she sat back on her heels and nodded. "Elena?" He asked again and she moved to him and pulled him into her arms.

He sagged and repeated her name a few more times as he smelled her hair, touched her face, lay his head into her neck as she cooed and stroked his back.

"I thought…" He mumbled and then pulled back from her, looking towards Stefan.

"Stefan!" He gasped and Jeremy walked into holding blood bags in his arms.

"Got it!" He said and tossed one to Damon who took it and stared at it as though he couldn't believe he wasn't dreaming.

Jeremy lifted Stefan onto his knees and poured a blood bag into his mouth slowly. Stefan roused quickly, moaning and reaching for the bag as he fed and Damon watched him. Elena urged Damon to drink too and he did so, robotically as he watched Stefan's every movement. Stefan opened his eyes and looked up at Jeremy.

"Hey, bit dramatic don't you think?" Jeremy teased as he lifted the hem of Stefan blood soaked shirt and Stefan frowned in disbelief that he was still alive.

He opened his mouth to whimper in grief when he realised they weren't alone. He turned his head and looked towards Damon, dropping his blood bag as Damon stared back at him. He made a gargling sound as he tried to get his vocal chords to work and Damon crawled over to him, looking at him as though he was the only thing in the universe.

Jeremy helped Stefan sit up and guided him into Damon's arms as they reached for each other. Neither of them had words, they just clung to each other, breathing and healing as the blood began to restore them. They pulled back to look at each other and touched each other's faces, tracing every line, every curve. How was this possible? How? Damon was dead.

Stefan frowned as tears filled his eyes and Damon kissed his mouth. Stefan felt his whole body flush with emotion and he poured himself into the kiss, forgetting about the rest of the world completely as their tongues stroked against each other and their lips caressed desperately. They kissed until Stefan began to lose his balance from lethargy and Damon held him to steady him. Damon turned to look towards Elena and saw that she and Jeremy had gotten to their feet and were closing the safe, their backs turned to give them privacy.

"Elena. Help us." He said and she turned back to see Damon trying to stand.

She went to them and helped them both up, supporting them on either side as Jeremy grabbed the other unopened blood bags and moved from the room, heading upstairs.

"I don't want to sleep." Stefan grumbled and Damon chuckled and soldiered on as his legs wobbled. "Where are we going?"

"My bed." Damon answered and Stefan fell silent as they made their way through the lounge and up the stairs.

Jeremy sheepishly placed the blood bags down on Damon's bed and left them to it as Elena went to run a bath for them. They lay on the bed and relaxed, sinking into the mattress. Stefan crawled on top of Damon and looked down at his face.

"You died. For days you were gone."

"No. I was just, lost somewhere. I thought I was in hell."

"Maybe you were."

"I don't believe in that stuff." Damon gave a weak smirk and Stefan smiled.

"You're alive." Stefan said in wonder. "How? Am I dreaming?"

"I doubt Elena packs that much of a punch in your dreams Stef." Damon rubbed his face where she'd struck him and Stefan raised his eyebrows.

"I don't understand how…"

"Stefan." Elena spoke gently and he turned to look at her as she stepped out of the bathroom. "It doesn't matter how. He's here. Just, let it be."

Stefan gave a small nod of contemplation and she came towards him, helping him up.

"Take all of the time you need. I'll go to Matt's with Jer. If you need anything call me." She said to both of them, before leaving.

They looked to each other speechless.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24 TNB

Minutes went past as they stared at each other, listening to the sounds of the water running and Elena and Jeremy clearing out and driving away. Stefan knew he should be jumping up and down in happiness. Damon was alive and they were free to live their lives again. So why didn't it feel real? Why did he feel numb?

Damon looked to him and frowned a little.

"You ok?" He asked and Stefan nodded silently and swayed a little on his legs.

Damon was up in a flash and caught him as his knees gave in.

"Stefan?" Damon lifted him into his arms in concern and carried him over to the bed again, laying him down and stroking his face, checking him for illness or any traces of the plague.

Stefan held his hand to his face and stared up at him.

"Are you really here?" He whispered and Damon frowned again. "You died."

"Obviously I didn't. I'm here." Damon reassured.

"But I thought you'd died." Stefan felt his resolve weaken and he let a sound of pain escape.

Damon climbed onto the bed beside him and held him in his arms and Stefan buried his face in Damon's chest. Damon said nothing. He didn't have an explanation. As far as he was concerned, he had died and had been in hell but then, he wasn't. He cradled Stefan to him, forgetting about the state of their clothing as he gave Stefan the comfort he needed. Stefan grabbed a fist full of his shirt and wrinkled his nose at the dried blood covering Damon's clothes. He looked up at him in repentance and Damon kissed his forehead.

"Drama queen." Damon mumbled with some humour in his tone and Stefan gave a small smile and began to undo Damon's shirt.

He wanted the gore of their time in the safe, free of Damon's skin. Damon let him undress him slowly, enjoying how much Stefan wanted to. Stefan peeled his clothes from him in distaste at the scent and threw them to the floor. Damon lay naked underneath him and although normally he would become aroused, all Stefan could think of was wanting to care for him. He leaned down and kissed Damon's mouth, curling his jet black hair in his fingers as Damon breathed into his mouth in relaxation and joy.

Stefan pulled him slowly from the bed and towards the bath tub, urging Damon in. Damon took up his usual place in the bath and relaxed as the warm water embraced him. He loved this bath tub. Stefan came to his side and lifted a loofa to wash him.

"Aren't you getting in?" Damon asked and Stefan shook his head.

"I want to look after you first. I promised I would." Stefan said and Damon huffed in surprise. "I'd do anything for you."

"Then get in." Damon urged. "I want to touch you."

Stefan blushed and hesitated, but Damon sat up fully and beckoned to him to climb in. Stefan stripped his bloodied clothing and stepped in, intending to go to the opposite side of the bath but Damon had other plans and pulled him backwards and into his chest. Stefan didn't resist and lay his head back against Damon's shoulder as Damon wound his limbs around him securely and kissed the side of his head.

They relaxed for a few minutes, neither feeling the need to talk and Damon washed over both of their bodies gently, removing the evidence of their entrapment as Stefan closed his eyes and turned his face into Damon's neck.

"This feels so normal." Stefan whispered, kissing Damon's neck and Damon chuckled.

"How would you know?"

"I guess I don't." Stefan admitted.

"Nothing normal here Stef. I just came back from the dead and I'm bathing someone who used to be my brother with the intention of sodimising him all night."

Stefan's body responded to the comment and he turned over into Damon's lap, kissing him until Damon dropped his arms and gave up his attempt to clean them in order to respond to the kissing. Damon slid his hands up Stefan's sides, feeling every rib, every curve of flesh as Stefan kissed him. Strange how he'd never thought a man's body could be attractive until Stefan. Stefan was becoming more aroused the longer they kissed and Damon broke them apart to rest their foreheads together.

"Let me take care of us first and then I'm yours." He advised and Stefan nodded and turned back around again to let Damon wash his back.

Damon's hands began to shake at the prospect of what was to follow. He wanted tonight to be perfect. He was good at sex – a master, but this wasn't about showing off or using his moves. Stefan had been in control both times they'd made love and he wanted to take care of Stefan tonight. He'd only had sex with a man twice and he just hoped he could control himself enough to be gentle right now. His body still felt strange from the plague. His limbs were stiffer than normal. It had taken most of his control not to fall over with Stefan in his arms when he'd caught him earlier. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but he knew that he was far from back to normal. Maybe it would just take time. As he pondered on it all, Stefan drifted off to sleep amidst his gentle touches and sighed peacefully.

Damon kissed his head and made him a silent vow to make sure that Stefan would be looked after. He wanted to protect him, care for him and love him like he deserved. When he'd been in that safe alone, he'd been so confused and terrified. The hunger had ruled his brain and it had been impossible to fight it. Stefan had filled his mind mostly and when he realised that he was dying, all he could think about was how little time they'd had together. Really, they'd only had a couple of nights of happiness and it wasn't enough. He wanted more, a lot more and he thought that he'd missed his chance. Now that they were alive and free of disease, he intended to use the time wisely.

He finished cleaning them off and wrapped his arms around Stefan's waist, sitting them forward. Stefan didn't waken as they moved and Damon smiled at that. He carefully lifted him out of the bath tub and walked them through to the bedroom again, laying Stefan onto the bottom of the bed and retrieving a towel for him. As he approached his sleeping form and began to pat him dry gently enough so as to avoid waking him, he thought back on the last time he'd done this the night he'd brought Stefan home from the lake. He'd thought he was bringing his brother home, but in fact he was bringing home a new person who would fill his heart full of life and love again. This person who was so changed from who he'd been that Damon had risked everything he had to be with him, despite the repercussions of their genetics. He was insane and he knew it, but he couldn't deny that he wanted him. He wanted the kind of life that Stefan painted for him in his imagination.

When Stefan was dry, he dried himself and lifted Stefan into the bed, pulling the covers around him as he climbed in beside him. Stefan was so innocent, so unaware of so many dangers. The mere fact that he could sleep through being touched like this was reason enough for Damon to feel protective. He curled himself around him and kissed the back of his neck, stroking down Stefan's abdomen gently, feeling all of the hairs leading down to his manhood. Stefan sighed deeply and Damon suppressed a chuckle and withdrew his hand up to Stefan's waist when he felt a sharp pain in his arm. He pulled his hand back and looked at it in surprise. There was a strange discolouration to his skin for a second and then it was gone.

"What the..?" He mumbled to himself as he watched his skin return to normal.

A feeling of dread crept over him as he wondered on what it could be. Was he still infected? Was he dangerous? Was he still dying? He just didn't know. He held Stefan tight and buried his face back into Stefan's neck. Surely life couldn't be so cruel as to bring him back and then take his life away again. Surely not.

Stefan tossed and turned as Damon fell into a deep sleep, fraught with worries. Stefan's dreams were full of darkness and death and the presence of a dead body beside him, always dead and unmoving while he remained alive. He began to pant and kick at the covers, believing them to be water preventing his movements with their weight, when Damon touched his shoulder and spoke to him gently. He cried out and almost fell out of the bed in a heap at the contact and Damon held him and cooed to him.

"It's ok, I got you." Damon whispered and Stefan grabbed onto him and shivered as he placed his face in at Damon's neck.

As he focussed all of his energy on the soft skin there, he felt a heartbeat and he drew back in surprise. Damon looked to him in question and Stefan placed a hand over his own heart and waited.

"What's wrong?"

"Our hearts still beat."

"Yeah." Damon frowned not understanding. "Of course they do. How else do you think this happens?"

Damon demonstrated to his morning erection and Stefan gazed at him in wonder, before frowning in grief and exhaling. Damon shook his head confused by his behaviour.

"It never occurred to me. I never checked you. I just assumed you were dead, when all that time you weren't."

"It's ok Stefan, I'm ok."

"I'm not!" Stefan began to weep into his hands and Damon exhaled and sat back a little frustrated.

He didn't know what to say. He was crap at dealing with emotions like this.

"I'm sorry." He said, unsure if that was the right thing to say and Stefan lowered his hands and dried his eyes. "Stefan I don't know what you're feeling. I'm no good at this."

Stefan gave a watery smile and pulled him into him again and Damon pulled him into his lap and kissed his shoulder.

"I'm scared you idiot."

"What of?"

"That you're going to disappear and I'll never know for sure whether you'll be gone forever."

"I'm a vampire not a magician Stefan. When I'm dead I'll stay dead, but that's not going to happen, ok?"

"I need to know what's happening. I have to know." Stefan pulled back and looked at him and Damon chewed his lip. "I need to know so that I don't wake up wondering if you're going to be dead when I do."

Damon stroked his tear stained cheeks. Truth was he wanted to know how this was possible too, but the professor was dead and so there was no way to find out. As far as Damon was concerned, dealing with the fact that he'd almost died was terrifying enough and he just wanted to put it behind them and move on. He could see from Stefan's desperation that that wasn't going to happen. He hung his head and sighed.

"Please." Stefan pleaded and Damon nodded.

"Fine."

"I'll call Elena." Stefan got up out of his lap and climbed from the bed, looking for clean clothes and his cell phone as Damon watched in trepidation.

"So much for romance. And here I thought we might actually have some alone time finally." Damon mumbled to himself.

Stefan paused and looked at him in sympathy.

"I want you all to myself, I always have but I can't be afraid anymore. Not with you. You're everything and your mine now. I can't risk not knowing." Stefan explained, pulling a pair of Damon's jeans on and Damon lay back down defeated and pulled the blankets over his head sulking.

Stefan felt guilt blossom in his chest but this would gnaw at him, so he dragged himself from the room and left Damon to get up and dressed as he went to feed and call Elena. Damon got out of the bed, sighing and opened his dresser, pulling out some clothes. He felt annoyed and uneasy. Not the emotions he was expecting after having the opportunity to live and love again. Stefan was still so new to everything. So emotional. Stefan had always been emotional. He pulled his clothes on, promising his reflection that he'd have Stefan tonight and make love till next week. He didn't want to waste any more time. If they were going to do this, they would do it fully and right. He sighed heavily and walked down the stairs to meet a sheepish Stefan waiting for him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Are you angry?" Stefan looked so nervous.

"Of course not, I'm just…I just wanted it to be us for a while." He confessed.

"It will be, once I know you're ok." Stefan moved into his arms and stroked through the hair at Damon's temple. "Just give me this."

"Fine." Damon gave a small smile.

They sat in the lounge, kissing softly as Stefan draped himself on top of Damon's chest and watched the fire they started to burn. It wasn't so bad, taking it this slow after all that was what Damon had wanted to do wasn't it? He wanted to court Stefan before this had all happened and now here was his chance to. Still, he felt the ticking of time like he'd never done before and it made him twitchy and tense.

"Elena's not going to know what happened any more than we do you know. I don't see the point in this." Damon intertwined their fingers. "There are so many other things I'd rather we were doing right now."

"You don't have to hide with me. Don't shut your feelings away. Talk to me." Stefan said to him and Damon paused surprised.

"Uh, ok. Where did that come from?"

"You must feel as scared as I am right now. Don't worry about it. Talk to me." Stefan urged and Damon tensed.

"I'm fine. I thought I was going to die and I was scared sure, but I didn't and now we're home. Why would I want to dwell on it?" Damon said dismissively and Stefan sat up and looked down at him.

"This is me you're talking to." Stefan said and Damon stared at him confused.

"I'm not over sentimental Stefan. You should know that now. I'm not going to throw myself into your arms and cry. That's not who I am."

"Aren't you scared?"

"I'm scared of where this conversation is going." Damon admitted and Stefan clasped their hands together as he considered his words.

"It's not just this place is it? You aren't always in danger because you're here. You don't deal with things that scare you, you run towards them, find dangers." Stefan said and Damon tensed his jaw.

"Wow that's deep. Thanks for the character analysis. What does it say about you, that you want me? That you think I'm an angel?" Damon hit back a little hurt.

"You're not an angel. You're just my one." Stefan said, tense at Damon's obvious defensiveness. "If I take you away from here, will you still find danger?"

"No." Damon said as his heart squeezed. "I don't want that anymore. I want you."

Stefan looked at him unsure and Damon felt his heart squeeze enough for his throat to constrict.

"Stefan, I…I want to be with you. I want to live your life with you."

"You're just saying that because you want me too."

"No." Damon frowned and closed his eyes tight as he tried to think of the right words. "What you have, I want that. I want it with you. You've saved me. You can save me." He corrected and Stefan gave a small smile.

"Will you leave this place and come away with me?"

"Anywhere you want to go." Damon said and Stefan lay down on him again and snuggled into him.

"I just wish we could go right now." Damon sighed and held him tight as they waited.

An hour or so later everyone arrived. Everyone. Jeremy, Matt, Caroline, Elena and…the professor.

"You!" Damon stood up outraged that the human was still breathing and cast a murderous look over at Caroline. "You didn't kill him?!"

"No." Caroline said confidently. "It's just as well so cool your jets."

"What the f…" He began to yell when Stefan moved forward to stand face to face with the human.

"Stefan he's here to help." Elena advised.

"Hey, I don't want any trouble." The human put his hands up defensively and looked to Caroline. "I'm just here to check your bloods ok. No big deal."

"No big deal?" Stefan squinted at him before Caroline made a motion behind the human's back that Stefan didn't understand.

"I hear your friends had a virus. Ok if I take a look?" The human said and Stefan realised what was happening.

Caroline had compelled him to forget everything, everything about vampire experiments, plague viruses and their involvement. He looked at her and she beckoned him but looked dangerously towards Damon. Elena moved to Damon rubbed his arm to calm him.

"He's here to take a look at what's going on with your blood Damon. He'll know." She whispered in his ear and he tensed unhappily. "Let him." She said with authority and he threw himself back down on the couch in rage.

"Why didn't you kill him?" Stefan asked Caroline as the professor edged nearer to Damon and sat his medical bag down on the floor next to him.

"I don't kill people Stefan. It's not my choice to decide who gets to live and who dies."

"After everything that happened? Are you kidding me?" He said astonished and she looked at him pointedly.

"Todesengel." She said simply and he frowned confused. "He decided who lived and died. Did you really want to become like that too?"

Stefan took a breath as he thought of that. He'd condemned the professor for his experiments but if they'd killed him in revenge afterwards, they'd have been just as bad. He shook his head slowly and looked over to Damon.

"He's a doctor. He's a genius. His mind has been warped by hatred, so I removed it."

"So, now he's the vampire doctor?" Stefan huffed.

"No, he doesn't know anything more about vampires than exists in movies and TV, but he does have a renewed sense of passion for curing the sick. He's leaving for Africa next month."

"Africa."

"Yes. I reminded him of how his talents in the study of pathogens and plague viruses might be useful to heal people rather than torture them and commit genocide." She said proudly and Stefan stared at her for a long moment.

"You are…" He began, full of wonder and admiration for this girl who could see through hate enough to think rationally when none of the rest of them could.

"I know." She smiled and shrugged. "Besides, I thought he could stand to have a few intestinal worms and third world accommodation for a while in penance."

Stefan gave a smile and looked over to Damon who'd been listening and was rolling his eyes. The professor knelt down next to him. Damon averted his gaze to the fireplace as he tried not to have a blow out and Elena sat down next to him and took his hand.

Bonnie came around to the front of the couch and looked at Damon in intrigue.

"I'm not an exhibit." Damon said coldly and she folded her arms.

"Tell me again, why do I care that you're not dead?" She asked sarcastically and he huffed. "You were there, in the 'in between' with me. Don't you remember?"

"Huh?" He looked up at her with wide eyes.

"I'm the anchor, remember? You were there, almost crossing. You don't remember?"

He shook his head as he stared at her, feeling fear creep through him as the professor took a hold of his arm and began to tourniquet it for a sample. Damon barely seemed to notice it was happening as he looked to Bonnie for answers.

"What happened?"

"You kept trying to go back. Just when you would try to pass through me, you'd vanish. I kept waiting for the pain – thinking it'd happen but it didn't. I couldn't tell whether you were gone or not and I can always tell."

"Do you remember anything?" Elena asked him and he shook his head.

"I was lost. It was dark, loud. People screaming and grabbing at me. I thought I was in hell." He confessed and she tightened her hold on his hand. "Then you were there and you slapped me."

"Hmmn." Bonnie gave Elena an approving smile. "Well where you were wasn't hell. I'd have known if you were really gone because I'd have felt your death."

"So where was I then?" He asked and Bonnie shrugged.

The professor took his sample, freeing Damon's arm again and standing up looking to Caroline for guidance.

"There's a table in the kitchen. Is that enough light?" She asked and he nodded, lifting his bag as he walked with her through to the kitchen.

Stefan came back to Damon and sat down at his other side.

"You ok?" Bonnie asked him and he nodded.

"I'm just confused. I was sure he'd died. He didn't move for days and he was cold and stiff."

"Right here." Damon reminded.

"I didn't think to check his heart. I forgot it would still beat." Stefan admitted, linking his fingers with Damon's in an attempt to rouse him from his awful mood.

"I would have forgotten too. It takes a while to get used to being a vampire. To realise what it means, what it changes." Elena said sympathetically and Stefan nodded.

Jeremy had been hanging around in the background observing everything silently.

"Not an exhibit." Damon huffed again and Jeremy came forward and sat in the chair opposite him.

"Gee isn't this fun." Damon mumbled.

Caroline walked through to the lounge with the professor and looked to Stefan.

"Stefan can I have a word please?"

Stefan felt fear grip him and Damon tensed and looked to her too.

"Yeah." Stefan moved to stand and Damon stood up too.

Caroline chewed her lip but beckoned them both. They walked into the kitchen, shaking from adrenaline. The professor sat down and turned to them. He'd brought his microscope with him and was writing a few notes. Stefan held his breath.

"Whatever infected you Damon, has changed your blood quite significantly." The professor paused. "I've never seen blood like this before, Miss Forbes tells me your family have a genetic blood defect?"

Caroline raised her eye brows in communication and Stefan spoke for him.

"Yeah. We all have it." Stefan nodded and Damon frowned at him. "Vampire blood." Stefan whispered low enough only for vampire ears and Damon's expression straightened.

"May I take a sample of yours so I can compare?"

"Yeah." Stefan rolled up his sleeve and offered it to him.

The human was quick and efficient and placed the slide with Stefan's blood under the microscope to compare. He frowned as he looked through the lens.

"Yes, siblings I take it?" He asked and Stefan nodded grimly.

It was a truth evident in their biology regrettably, despite his attempts to deny it. He hated it.

"And you will ill also?"

"Yes but I was treated. The treatment didn't work on Damon for some reason. We…were told that he was in a later stage and couldn't be cured that way." Stefan struggled not to grit his teeth as he recalled the human's words back to him.

"Get to the point doc." Damon said coldly. "What's the prognosis?"

"You're blood isn't free from some kind of pathogen. I can only imagine that you're so well because it has been much diluted. There are still traces though."

"It's still in him?" Stefan croaked and grabbed Damon's hand tight as Damon felt his knees shake a little. "How do we get rid of it?"

"You were near death?"

"Yes." Damon could barely speak from fear clawing at his insides.

"What changed? Were you given another dose of medicine?"

"No." He croaked.

"Evidently something was introduced into your system and it kept you alive. We need to figure out what that was and administer it again."

"Will that cure him?"

"Over time. From the growth rate, I'd say it will have to be taken regularly until the virus is completely dead or it will multiply again." His words were so grave that Stefan began to hold onto Damon as Damon paled.

"He wasn't given anything else. There was only one shot and he took it. Then…" Caroline turned to them both in torment. "Did you do anything? Once you were both…" She trailed off and Stefan shook his head.

"No, we were just, saying goodbye." Stefan began to struggle to keep his composure and Damon moved away from him and sat down.

Caroline stepped over to Stefan and held his shoulders as she searched his face.

"Think, what happened in the safe. Something must have happened."

"We kissed. We talked…" Stefan said and looked to Damon who looked unwell now. "I fed him to take away the pain."

"Fed him." Caroline said as she thought on it, before twirling around to the look at the professor who was looking from one brother to the other in a little confused revulsion at the mention of kissing. "If the virus had been transmitted through blood from the host, would the cure be able to work in that capacity too?"

"Through a blood transfusion? Possibly." The professor said and she smiled and turned back to Stefan.

"It was you." She smiled. "You did it. You had the cure in your blood and you fed him."

Damon looked over at her and Stefan blinked.

"Me?"

"Yes." She smiled excitedly. "Your blood infected him when he drank from you, so only your blood could heal him. That's why the injection didn't work, because he wasn't infected by a bite or given the full pure dose like you were. It was all in the blood. You saved him when you gave him the blood."

"But he was dead." Stefan stuttered and she shook her head.

Bonnie entered and looked to Stefan.

"He almost was, several times Stefan but, he kept going back." She agreed and he looked over to Damon in shock.

"I was ok at first." Damon said dazed. "When I drank from you in your apartment I felt weird after but I thought it was just nerves. Everything was changing so fast."

"You weren't feral straight away. It took days?" Caroline asked and he nodded. "Maybe that's why it took so long for you to waken again in the safe. The healing took just as long as the infection took to spread through your body."

Everyone fell silent as the others came into the kitchen and looked to Stefan happily. Stefan felt overwhelmed and looked from one to the other. He didn't know what to say. They were all looking at him as though he was a hero for feeding Damon, when in truth he'd done it because he couldn't bear to be alone. It had caused Damon pain to feed because it lengthened his time being conscious and alive, till in the end Stefan had had to stop being so selfish and told Damon to let go because Damon had begged. He didn't feel like a hero at all. It had just been a coincidence of happy fate. He looked to Damon who was looking at him with tears in his eyes.

"You save me." Damon said and Stefan gulped hard, feeling guilty and undeserving.

"Um…" The professor interjected, feeling confused and uncomfortable with what was happening and Caroline turned to him.

"Thanks doc."

"Don't thank me yet. Whatever Damon ingested, he has to have again, regularly until the virus is gone."

"How will we know when it's gone?"

"Regular blood samples. I can refer you to a colleague at Whitmore while I'm on leave." He said and she nodded and smiled at him. "Well, I better be off then."

He made a hasty retreat with his belongings as everyone left Stefan and Damon alone in the kitchen to talk. Damon couldn't talk, he just stared at Stefan.

"You saved me." He said again and Stefan bit his lip. "I guess you're the angel now."

"No, I was being selfish. I did it to keep you with me longer even though I knew it hurt you more." Stefan confessed and Damon shook his head and gave him a small smile.

"It's ok."

"No, it wasn't. We're just lucky this happened. I didn't plan it."

"So?" Damon stood up and went to him, pulling him into a hug. "It doesn't matter Stefan. I would probably have done the same, just to keep you with me a little longer. I know you didn't want me to suffer. I don't blame you for it."

Stefan closed his eyes and felt the weight lifting from his shoulders. He wound his arms around him tightly and kissed his shoulder.

"You need to feed from me, every day until it's gone." Stefan mumbled into the fabric of his shirt and Damon gave a chuckle.

"Mmmmn, how torturous for me."

He pulled back and kissed Stefan's mouth, making an arousing sound at the back of his throat that made Stefan's hairs stand on end.

"I want to taste you too." Stefan whispered seductively as Damon's smile became playful and he ran his hands down to Stefan's behind and squeezed.

"I'm sure that can be arranged as soon as I'm all better. We can't risk you being infected when you're the golden chalice." Damon stroked Stefan's hair behind his ear.

"Ok." Stefan smiled.

"You know I think I feel a plague coming on, I might need some medicine and some TLC." Damon teased. "I think I should really be in bed." He winked and Stefan chuckled happily.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25 TNB

Everyone could see how desperate they were to be alone. Stefan was practically oozing pheromones as Damon's eyes lingered on him and Jeremy was the first to practically bolt. Elena kissed them both and hugged them to her before she left with Caroline on her arm, giving Stefan a reassuring nod as she closed the door behind them. Damon let out the breath he'd been holding and relaxed at their absence.

Stefan chuckled and took his hand, kissing his fingers as Damon tried to seduce him with his eyes. He wanted Stefan to melt in front of him, so it was a surprise when Stefan jumped on him and began to kiss him passionately, knocking them into a side table. Damon grunted as the table edge jabbed his lower back but he was soon pre-occupied in their kissing and grabbing at each other to be too concerned about it. Stefan was hot and fired up, now that he knew that Damon wasn't going to die. His insistence that they make love right there against the table was growing and Damon had to fight with his hands to get him under control.

"Slow…slow." He panted against Stefan's mouth but Stefan made a frustrated sound. "Uh!" He gasped as Stefan pressed him into the table and rubbed their groins together.

Stefan began to undo Damon's jeans, his hands shaking but confident in their intention and Damon tilted his head back and let Stefan bite and suck at his neck teasingly. His head was spinning and he loved it. Stefan was so passionate, it was taking his breath away. Before he knew what was happening Stefan hand his hand down his pants and was pumping him and his eyes rolled back in his head. He moaned and gasped, flexing his hips in aid and Stefan grinned and resumed his attack on his mouth until Damon surrendered his tongue. That was something extra new about Stefan now. He wasn't timid, he took what he wanted and he usually got it as a result.

Damon was shaking and climaxing before he knew it and he surrendered his seed to Stefan's hand as he opened his mouth and sucked in a breath. Stefan finally settled down, squeezing his manhood firmly to milk the remaining fluid from him as he kissed him slowly and softly. Damon felt faint from the blood rush and sagged into the table behind him. Stefan wound his arm around his back and beckoned him to the floor. Damon collapsed on his back breathing, flushed and satisfied and Stefan pulled some tissues from a holder on the table and cleaned his hand and Damon's trousers as Damon closed his eyes.

"Where…did that come from?" Damon panted and Stefan smiled and leaned down to Damon's soft member, licking over it and up to his abdomen as Damon shivered. "Jesus…" Damon sighed happily and Stefan chuckled.

"You need to feed." Stefan whispered as he placed soft butterfly kisses on Damon's smooth muscular stomach, sliding his hands up to move the fabric out of the way. "Then you're going to make love to me."

"Am I now?" Damon raised an eyebrow.

"At least three times." Stefan smiled confidently.

"I think I'm done for the night." Damon teased and Stefan let his fangs show. "No, Stefan…not yet."

"I know." Stefan groaned, looking at the veins in Damon's neck. "I want you so badly."

"You've got me." Damon reassured. "Now, I'm practically wasting away here, doctor." He joked, when a shooting pain went up his arm and he cringed and raised it.

The skin had gone a strange colour again and he watched it as it travelled up his arm before disappearing like a spider into his flesh. He couldn't help the look of horror he demonstrated and Stefan was immediately panicking.

"Oh my god, you have to drink now!"

"I know, it's ok Stef. You'll make it go away." Damon said softly and calmed again.

Stefan nodded and moved to bite into his wrist but Damon stopped him.

"Where's the fun in that?" He gave a grin and Stefan raised his eyebrows in confusion, so he sat up abruptly and grabbed Stefan by the back of the head, bringing him down to his lips and taking a bite of his neck.

Stefan gasped at the sensation and tried to relax as Damon pulled him on top of him. Stefan lay his head at the side of Damon's face, rubbing his nose against Damon's ear as Damon held him and drank. The sound of Damon gulping was oddly seductive and relaxing at the same time and Stefan's body began to heat and pulse in pleasure. He began to drool from his mouth as Damon continued, kneading Stefan's bottom as he drank to increase Stefan's awareness of his body. It felt so amazing to be connected like this. Damon needed him and only he could give him this. He began to gyrate as his body filled with pre-climax sensation and Damon pulled his mouth away breathing heavily and rolled them over. Stefan flopped onto his back and looked up at him, his eyes half closed in desire.

From the position Damon looked dangerous and animal-like, blood dripping down his face from around the sides of his mouth, his hair wild from Stefan's probing fingers and half of his clothes undone from Stefan earlier work. Stefan tilted his pelvis in invitation and Damon grinned and pulled his jeans down. They both took a deep breath as Stefan's manhood sprang erect from the fabric and Damon gave a growl of want.

"My turn." He said and Stefan cried out as Damon swallowed him down his throat.

Stefan grabbed at the rug underneath them, panting and writhing uncontrollably as Damon worked his tender flesh. Leyla had been good at this, or so he'd thought but Damon's mouth was unbelieveable. Stefan couldn't stop the rant of growls and desperate whispered words that tumbled from his mouth as Damon sucked him, nipped him and swallowed his juices until he yelled so loudly he was glad they didn't have neighbours here. Damon drew back, letting him relax for a second before he gathered him in his arms and pulled them up from the floor. Stefan panted and lay limp in his embrace as Damon blurred to his bed and threw him onto the mattress. Stefan landed with a bounce and laughed as Damon jumped on top of him, rolling them around as they chuckled and kissed.

Stefan toes curled with every caress and touch of Damon's hands. It was as though his body was on fire and Damon's fingertips were made of ice. Everything was alive and to attention.

"Fuck me please!" He panted and Damon laughed, showing his perfect white teeth and shook his head.

"Oh no. Not that for you." He teased and Stefan frowned in distress.

"What?" He liked being sucked but he wanted Damon inside of him, connected, joined together physically like no other way possible.

Damon kissed him passionately, spreading his legs open and around Damon's hips as Stefan held his head, his fingers curling into Damon's hair.

"No fucking for you Stef." He whispered into his mouth and Stefan groaned in disbelief. "Making love." Damon added and Stefan's breath caught in his throat as he relaxed and kissed him back with more fervour.

Damon took his time, making him shout and beg like a child to be filled with his flesh, but it seemed to egg Damon on. He reduced him to a quivering mess as he sucked and bit and licked his body – touching parts of Stefan's body he had no idea felt good. Damon's plan to tease him until he was desperate, started to wane with his own arousal however as they began to grab at each other in heat and rub their bodies together.

"Oh fucking hell, just do it!" Stefan whined and Damon finally entered him, making them both whimper and gasp.

Their bodies were so ready, so aching that every touch felt as though their skin was merely a layer of Saran wrap stopping them from become one being. As Damon moved inside of him, they both gasped and rested their foreheads together. It had never been like this before. Even with Elena, there had been some holding back, some insecurities but Stefan was new and fresh and he loved him without baggage and accusations and recriminations. Stefan simply loved him to the very core of who he was and it was so freeing he found himself tearing up as they began to gasp in short breaths approaching their climax. Stefan noticed tears spilling from his face and slid his hand up into his hair to bring their mouths together while supporting Damon's thrusting by holding his bottom with the other.

Damon let a sob slip from his mouth into Stefan's as he climaxed inside of him and Stefan arched and removed his hand from his head to milk out his own seed as Damon tensed to let his seed fill him. Stefan climaxed loudly and Damon supported himself above him as he watched Stefan's face.

They both stared at each other, full of post coital love and acceptance and Stefan reached up and wiped the tears from Damon' cheeks.

"No one will ever make you cry again." Stefan whispered. "You're coming home with me."

Damon hung his head and breathed, avoiding his eyes. It was too much, this emotion and he didn't know how to deal with it without it consuming him. He lay his face into Stefan's neck and snuggled in and Stefan pulled blankets over them to make them comfortable. Damon began to dose, his eyelashes flickering against Stefan's neck and Stefan smiled to himself drunkenly and paid attention to every breath, every heartbeat coming from his angel. Damon slept for a time, securely and comfortably inside of Stefan's body and Stefan began to plan their next apartment. He didn't want to rush him, but he wanted to remove him from Mystic Falls as soon as he could.

He had a job that'd he'd missed tons of and friends who must be worried about him by now, but he didn't want to spend even one day without Damon. No, Damon had to come with him. When Damon awoke he fed from him again and Stefan licked at his throat too as he groaned in desire to drink from Damon. He knew he couldn't yet. Over the next day and night they barely left the bed, Damon feeding and making love to him with such love and obsession that Stefan forgot his own name at times. He forgot that his life, that their life was out there waiting for them. Damon's body was such a distraction and the gentleness with which he took him, made Stefan wonder how any woman had ever let him go.

Damon's control over his muscles was extraordinary and he flexed his body into Stefan's with such ease and delicate control that Stefan never feared it would hurt. He held Damon's hips and bottom to aid him, but mostly because he liked to feel Damon's gluts tense and release at the thrusting movements. Even the sweat that would trickle down his chest was enticing and the sounds Damon made were enough to drive Stefan wild with pleasure.

They panted and lay side by side as Stefan kicked the blankets from Damon's bed aside. Their sheets were gross now and neither of them had washed in two days of love making. Stefan turned on his side and watched Damon snooze once more. He was in awe of Damon's energy. Stefan's body had been completely and utterly claimed and he was full and stretched. He draped his arm over his back and kissed Damon's arm and shoulder, basking in the glow of his happiness. Damon exhaled and pulled him into his side, not waking fully and Stefan dusted his fingers over Damon's lips as he had done when he'd first started to feel connected to his angel.

"I love you." He whispered and Damon gave a small smile.

"Love you." He whispered back half awake and Stefan grinned in glee and kissed him sweetly.

Damon had said it several times already but each additional time made Stefan fall harder for him. He'd never believed he could be so happy, that Damon would ever be his truly. They had started out on such opposite corners of this story and now they'd met in the middle. Stefan gave him a chaste kiss and climbed out of the bed quietly – Damon grunting at his movement disapprovingly.

Stefan moved to his old room and showered, not wanting to rouse him and dressed quickly. He needed to feed. Damon had been drinking from him so much. He walked down stairs creeping along the floor boards to avoid waking him and entered the lounge. They had knocked the table over the other day amidst their passion and there were ornaments scattered around the floor. He chuckled to himself, deciding that he wasn't cleaning it up. They would leave things where they fell as evidence of their lovemaking. He went down to the fridge in the basement and pulled out some blood bags, drinking hungrily as he recovered from his lethargy. Damon had needed to drink a lot to combat the virus, but Stefan enjoyed every minute of it so it was hardly a hardship. He drank a few bags before he grabbed one for Damon and headed back up stairs.

The room smelled of sex, blood and Damon and Stefan smiled to himself, revelling in being part of the mix. Damon had fallen fully asleep, his arm stretched out towards the door as if calling for him. Stefan sat down and just watched him sleep for a while, relaxed by the sound of Damon's breathing and the rapid eye movement behind Damon's eyelids. He knew Damon liked being strong, brave and independent but he was also so vulnerable too. Stefan had no problem having Damon be the one he snuggled into and sought comfort from but he fiercely wanted to protect him too. Perhaps this was just what love did to people. It blurred the lines in wondrous colours.

He stood up, removing his clothes again and pulled the blankets aside. His nose twitched at the aroma of their juices and he gave a small laugh and wrinkled his nose. Damon opened his eyes sighing and looked at him tiredly.

"Ok, no. I can't come back in this bed." Stefan smiled and Damon frowned and stuck his bottom lip out. "My bed, come on. It's fresh."

Damon grunted unhappily and snuggled further into the covers and Stefan pulled them from him. Damon sighed huffily.

"You can still be the king of the second biggest bed in Louisiana." Stefan joked.

"It's not." Damon pouted.

"Ok the fourth biggest bed."

"Mmn." Damon grunted again, so Stefan leaned over and pulled his legs, dragging him to the bottom of the bed as Damon opened his eyes in surprise.

"We're not done yet. Not by a long shot and I want you in clean sheets." Stefan advised and moved to lift him in his arms.

Damon sat up and batted his hands away and Stefan stood up again and waited. Clearly Damon was claiming his territory and Stefan was included in that. Damon stood up and caught him around the waist, throwing him over his shoulder as Stefan yelled in surprise. Stefan laughed all the way to his room as Damon slapped his behind a few times and threw him down on the bed again. Stefan waited until Damon climbed on to before he rolled them over and began to kiss Damon gently. Damon held him and stroked his fingertips down his back. Stefan's skin turned to gooseflesh and he sighed at the tickling sensation.

He wanted to have Damon for a change. He loved being underneath but Damon was tired, he could tell.

"Lie back." He whispered and Damon relaxed into the pillows as Stefan lined himself up and sank down slowly onto his erection – it seemed Damon always had an erection!

Damon closed his eyes and let out a slow growl as Stefan filled himself till he was sitting on Damon's legs. Stefan linked their fingers together as he began to move. He liked this position – their first ever and he leaned forward to kiss Damon's chest, sweeping his tongue as he did so. He wanted to touch every part of him and Damon had been in control the past few days. As he moved he became more aroused at the thought of that – at exploring Damon's body properly, touching every part, tasting everything and he felt his climax come on much too quickly. He began to gasp and moan and Damon looked at him in surprise as Stefan removed himself from Damon's body and sat back on the bed to calm himself down. He didn't want this to be too quick, he wanted it to last. Damon sat up concerned and he smiled and cupped Damon's face, kissing him.

"You ok?" Damon asked and he nodded. "Why didn't you cum?"

"Don't want to yet." Stefan breathed.

Damon bit his lip and searched his face.

"Can I touch you?" Stefan asked meekly.

"What do you think you've been doing?" Damon asked confused, with a small smile.

"No, I want to touch you, touch everything. I want to make you mine too."

"I am yours."

"I know, but I've only…done this a few times with anyone and I…I want to know what you like."

"I like everything you do Stef." Damon kissed him in reassurance and Stefan pushed him gently back down again. "Fire away." Damon relaxed and brought his arms above his head as he closed his eyes.

Stefan blushed and felt his body awaken as he thought on what he wanted to do first. He started at Damon's toes, kissing them one at a time as Damon chuckled and tried not to twitch. For some reason, the knowledge that Damon was tickly was delightful and completely unexpected. Stefan smiled and became more confident as he kissed up the inside of his legs to his groin. He stopped short there and had a thought.

"Can I wash you?" Stefan asked.

"That bad huh? Well, you did beg several times." Damon smirked to himself and Stefan launched a pillow at him.

He jolted in surprise and sat up grabbing Stefan by his arms and throwing him down beside him as Stefan laughed and fought against his hold.

"No, I just wanted to!" Stefan cried out in laughter as Damon fake growled in outrage and grabbed at him as he struggled.

Damon leaned down to his neck and licked.

"Medicine." Damon growled in the back of his throat and Stefan tilted his neck.

"Take some."

Damon bit down and Stefan held him around his back urging him to drink as deeply as he wanted. After he'd eaten, he'd be full and sleepy. Then Stefan could do what he wanted with him. Damon's mood would be so tranquil he wouldn't contest anything. Damon melted into him as he drank, moaning and sighing as he did. Anyone walking past the door would think they were having sex and Stefan loved that knowledge. Damon could be so filled with pleasure just at the very taste of him, as well as the physical conquest. Damon rolled away onto his back breathing and sighing content and Stefan took his chance to leap up and go to his bath room to retrieve a wet soapy cloth. Damon grunted at that but opened his legs willingly, letting Stefan climb in between them.

This wasn't about cleaning evidence of their passion, it was about getting to touch Damon's body like this. He could explore like this. He began to move the cloth slowly up Damon's thighs and Damon made a purring sound of enjoyment.

"This is me taking care of you. You're mine now angel." Stefan said and Damon smiled and closed his eyes.

Stefan took his time, returning to run more warm water into the cloth as he stroked the cloth over Damon's groin, stopping to touch and kiss every part of Damon's sex. Damon didn't mind the probing, actually tilting his hips to help when Stefan moved to underneath his testicles. Stefan kissed over his abdomen as he ran his fingertips gently over Damon's entrance. Damon exhaled, relaxed and Stefan took the plunge, inserting his finger gently. It felt hot and tight and he smiled that Damon's mouth fell open a little in response.

"Can I have you?" Stefan asked and Damon nodded, blushing and tilting. "Really?"

"Anything you want. Anything." Damon gave a small gasp and Stefan pushed his fingers inside one at a time.

He found a curve inside and let his fingers bend to explore it and Damon moaned and called his name in a whisper. That was the prostate definitely – something Damon had been using to reduce him to a writhing mess for days now. He teased it, stroking it backwards and forwards and Damon began to move into him.

"God that feels good." Damon grabbed a pillow and placed it over his face as he grunted and Stefan chuckled.

Damon seemed embarrassed but he was clearly enjoying it.

"Fuck!" Damon's voice was muffled through the pillow and Stefan removed his fingers and lined himself up.

He could hear Damon's breathing despite the pillow and he held his hips tight and entered him. Damon shouted at the movement and pressed the pillow further into his face. Stefan pulled out again and moved in slower this time, smiling at the sensation. It didn't take long until Damon was gasping for breath and practically smothering himself with the pillow, so Stefan reached up and dragged it from his hands. Damon's face was red and he turned his head to avoid Stefan's eyes as Stefan sped up his movements and moaned breathlessly.

"Damon, Damon look at me…" Stefan breathed and Damon moaned in response and turned his face back, closing his eyes as he arched and held Stefan's waist. "Are you cuming?"

He wanted so badly to make this good for him, but he didn't understand why Damon was so embarrassed, shy practically and Damon nodded.

"Show me. Let go."

Damon opened his eyes and frowned as his mouth fell open. He tried to roll them over suddenly but Stefan saw it coming and leaned down on him, pinning him down as he sped up and deepened their connection, making Damon gasp and tilt his head back.

"Cum for me." Stefan begged and Damon moaned and released his juices between them as he panted wildly.

Stefan laughed, hardly breathing as he held Damon's ribs and shook the bed with his thrusts until he howled, climaxing so fully inside of him that he felt as though he might shrivel up – all the fluids from his body passing through into Damon. Damon supported him as he hung his head and Stefan withdrew from his sex and lay on top of him. Damon held him, kissing the side of his head, urging Stefan to tuck his head under his chin. Stefan did so and Damon rolled them onto their sides, enveloping him in his arms so Stefan curled around his body like a cat.

"That…was new."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26 TNB

"Hmmmn." Stefan sighed as Damon snuggled into his back.

They'd been at it for days, catching up on all of the wasted time and they were both finally exhausted. Stefan smiled to himself, feeling the pulsing in his body and the silkiness of Damon's juices inside of him. It was oddly erotic even now in the messy aftermath of making love. He had a little of Damon inside of him and he felt unbelievably full of joy. Damon hadn't had any strange pains or skin discolouration for a whole day and Stefan believed that he was now free of the virus. Still, Damon wouldn't let him drink from just yet, just in case. Stefan had felt annoyed and frustrated, pouting like a child for a while but gradually it made him feel more cherished that Damon was so protective. He knew they'd have to leave their bubble eventually and Damon had said today.

Damon kissed the back of his neck and Stefan pressed back into him.

"You're too addictive." Damon bit his neck playfully and Stefan let out a happy sigh. "If we don't get up today then we never will."

Stefan huffed and pulled Damon's arm over him tighter.

"What about our new life. Hmmm?" Damon whispered seductively into his ear. "Can't start it here."

"No." Stefan pouted. "One more day."

Damon began to chuckle, shaking Stefan's body with the motion and Stefan opened his eyes.

"You reek Stefan and I have high standards."

Stefan elbowed him in the ribs, making him chuckle again. Damon bit his shoulder and growled before sitting up as Stefan groaned in acceptance.

"Besides, I have a present for you." Damon said excitedly and Stefan rolled onto his back and looked at him in surprise.

"A present?"

"That got your attention." Damon smirked.

"What is it?" Stefan immediately frowned and Damon feigned being insulted.

"Well, if you don't want it…" Damon moved to leave the bed and Stefan sat up and grabbed his arm, shaking his head and chuckling.

"You're a dick."

"The biggest of them all." Damon wiggled his eyebrows and they laughed and leaned in to kiss each other.

Stefan ran his hands through Damon's hair as they kissed, humming in the back of his throat. How he loved this hair, this face, these lips and they were all his now. They separated and Damon kissed the tip of Stefan's nose lightly.

"Come on, I'll go get it." Damon said, rising from the bed and Stefan stretched his limbs out and moved the covers aside.

"Damon?" He called in surprise when Damon disappeared from the room and down the stairs.

He shrugged and walked to the shower in his bathroom. He jumped in and began to wash himself as he started to plan. They'd grab Damon's things – the things that were the most important and go back to his place till they figured out what they were doing. He began to sing to himself as he let his imagination get carried away. They'd buy a big house, not as big as this, but old and full of history – or they could build their own. He'd like that. Building things made him feel so happy. He was sure manual labour wouldn't be up Damon's alley but maybe if it was something they built together, he'd like it.

Damon came into the bathroom looking a little unsure and Stefan stopped singing and paused.

"You ok?" He asked and Damon recovered himself and shook his head smiling.

"Nothing." He gave a chuckle and rubbed his face.

"What?" Stefan asked again and Damon walked into the room and into the shower with him, kissing him sweetly on the lips.

Stefan pulled back to check his face but he seemed fine. Strange. Then he realised that Damon completely nude and he'd heard him go outside.

"Wait you went outside like that?"

"Yup." Damon grinned and Stefan chuckled.

"Where did you go?" He asked as he lathered Damon's skin with soap and began to wash him.

"Out to the car, that's where your present was." Damon winked and then tilted his face up into the shower spray.

"What did you get me?" Stefan smiled and stroked his hands around to Damon's bottom, caressing him.

"If you know what it is, you can have it." Damon teased.

"What kind of clue is that?"

"None." Damon pouted in jest and Stefan chuckled and let Damon take over washing him now.

Even Damon's hands being on his body made him want to climax, it was electric. He could just have him again in the shower. Damon turned him around to wash his back and gave him a cheeky slap on the behind. Stefan shook his head. It took all of their willpower to emerge from the shower clean and not soiled again.

Stefan dried himself off and followed Damon into Damon's room to dress. As he entered the room he looked around. He'd never spent much time in here before to notice Damon's beloved things. He loved books – that was clear. He was a romantic too. Thankfully he wasn't the untidy pig that Stefan Salvatore had been – everything had a place and was neat. They were going to get on quite well. Damon came up behind him and slid his arms around him.

"So do you want it?"

"I'd be having it right now if you hadn't dragged us from the bed." Stefan whined.

"No Mr One Track Mind. I am a person you know, not just your love junkie." Damon teased.

"Love junkie?" Stefan let out a laugh that made his eyes water and Damon moved away to retrieve a package for him.

Stefan turned to see and Damon handed him a brown paper bag. It didn't look like much of a present. Stefan frowned at him in query and began to open it. It felt like something metal, heavy and strangely shaped.

"What is it?" He asked.

"If you know, you can keep it." Damon folded his arms and smiled.

Stefan pulled the item from the bag and gasped, smiling. He looked to Damon in amazement and Damon grinned.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Maybe." Damon smiled.

"How did you know?" Stefan moved the metal rod from hand to hand as he marvelled at it and smiled delighted.

"I saw you had an old 1920s car in that garage. Wondered why you weren't working on that till I figured you didn't have a crank handle."

Stefan felt his chest fill with heat as he listened. Damon had noticed his cars, especially that one. It was his favourite and he was sure he'd never mentioned it to him. He'd been trying to find a handle to crank the engine for a while now, failing miserably so he'd begun to try to fashion one instead to no avail.

"I love you." Stefan said, full of love and emotional and Damon gave small chuckle, almost embarrassed by how much Stefan was moved and Stefan grabbed him and hugged him tight. "You're so perfect. I love you."

"I'm far from that Stef, but I'm glad you like it." Damon rubbed his back.

"No, this is…this is just you. Typical you. You noticed." Stefan squeezed him.

"Better not set a precedent for myself here." Damon chuckled.

"I don't have anything for you." Stefan pulled back in grief and Damon caught his chin and kissed him.

"You are my present."

Stefan smiled and Damon stepped back from him to get dressed. Stefan just watched him, holding the gift to his chest as he felt his heart flutter. Damon turned his back to pull some clothes out of his dresser, tossing Stefan some jeans and a shirt to wear. Stefan caught them and sniffed them. They smelled of him. Damon was gracing him with his fine clothes to wear. Wow.

"So, what will we do today?" Damon continued to pull things out of his drawer and Stefan realised he was supposed to dress.

"Um…what do you want to do?" Stefan began to dress, feeling disoriented and giddy.

"We could go back to your place. Try out the crank?"

Stefan smiled delighted when he realised that it had been almost a week since he'd been home.

"Shit!" He said and Damon turned around in surprise. "Holy shit! My cell! Where is it?"

Damon frowned and shrugged.

"Crap, I was supposed finish a car for someone, some big wig passing through. It was supposed to be finished today for pick up." Stefan threw the clothes on and Damon sagged a little.

"Oh, ok. Well, maybe we can hook up later then?"

"What?" Stefan stopped with one leg in his jeans, one hovering. "No way. You're coming with me. I don't want to be without you, ever."

Damon gave a surprise huff and Stefan smiled and pulled his jeans up.

"Can I help?"

"Bet your ass." Stefan buttoned up the shirt.

"What's my prize if I do?" Damon pulled on his own clothes and Stefan shook his head.

"You can be on top for a few days."

"Hmmmn." Damon cocked his head. "Deal."

They chased each other down the stairs laughing and shoving each other and Damon felt lighter and younger than he had in 100 years. Stefan's car had been abandoned outside the whole time they'd been dealing with the plague issue/near death/resurrection part of their recent memories and Stefan jumped in searching for his cell.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Stefan muttered as Damon grabbed some clothes and things from the house to tide him over for a few days.

Stefan looked through all of the messages on his phone and chewed his lip. Everyone was worried. He'd been incommunicado for a week. Leyla was freaking out and he'd missed a gig AND his client was being a dick about making sure the car was ready for today. He looked up at Damon as he threw his bag into the boot of the car and moved around to climb in.

"Holiday over?" Damon asked, tilting his head towards the phone and Stefan gave a fitful sigh. "I'll help you. We'll finish the car and if we don't I'll just kill the jerk wad."

"Very funny." Stefan teased.

"Just compel him to think it was for next week."

"I'd need permission for that and the mayor probably won't give it to me." They both climbed in and Damon shook his head.

"How would he even know? You said the guy was passing through right?"

"Let's just try and get it done. With your help maybe."

"Alright." Damon held his hands up in defeat and Stefan sped them away from Mystic Falls.

They worked hard at it all day, ruining Damon's nice jeans with oil and grease, but oddly Damon quite enjoyed himself. Stefan looked hot when he was full of concentration and passion. This job did seem to really fulfil him and it was nice to see. Damon leaned back against an old Chevy truck, taking a break with a blood bag while Stefan climbed underneath the jerk wads' car and covered himself in more grease.

"Why don't I just lift it for you? That'd be easier." Damon offered.

"No, it's ok. Besides, the people who live here know about us but someone passing through would freak out if they saw you doing that."

"Big deal." Damon grunted.

"I'm almost done." Stefan said and Damon threw his empty blood bag in the trash.

Stefan re-emerged from under the car and stood up, cracking his back and neck. He inspected the car carefully, washing his hands and running his palms over the finish that they'd spent all day coating and buffing.

"Done?" Damon asked and Stefan nodded.

"Done." Stefan smiled.

Damon held out his arms for him and Stefan moved into him and kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry this kinda ruined the day."

"No, it was fun."

"It was wasn't it?" Stefan beamed. "I love being with you. It's so easy."

"Especially when I'm being all helpful huh?" Damon squeezed him.

"Even then." Stefan teased and they chuckled and kissed.

"Hm-hmn." A grunt sounded and Stefan turned around to see the jerk wad. "Sorry for interrupting." The man said sarcastically.

He reeked of wealth and omnipotence and instantly Damon disliked him. Stefan walked towards the man, shaking his hand and apologising for not having called sooner. Damon watched, folding his arms in annoyance. This dude was so beneath Stefan's efforts. He could just compel his ass out of here and get him to leave the car completely. He smirked as he thought on that, but then he saw how proudly Stefan was advising the man on the care of the car. No, he wouldn't do anything that would ruin this for him. He'd just have to suffer the idiot so Stefan could be happy.

The man didn't linger long, tossing a few extra bills at Stefan as he grunted his thanks and drove away in their days work. Stefan watched it go and sighed.

"That guy was a grade A asshole." Damon commented and Stefan nodded.

"Yup. At least he loves the car as much as I do."

"I'll buy you one."

"Shut up." Stefan chuckled.

"I will."

"I know you can with your castle and money but that's not what it's about Damon. You can buy the feeling of having worked on something and built it from a shell. You just can't." Stefan explained and Damon chewed his lip.

He didn't really understand what that would feel like, no more than how he'd felt a little spark of interest in the car after having buffed it for an hour. Stefan's new feelings were such elusive revelations. As humans he and Stefan had always been moneyed. They'd always wanted for nothing. This new Stefan had worked for what he had and it had changed him in so many ways.

"Ok, so we travel around the world finding and restoring old cars then. I'll buy and we can build them together." Damon said and Stefan smiled and nodded.

"I'd love that."

"But…if I'm going to be a sugar daddy, what goods have you got for sale?"

"Oh, I'm sure I could think of something." Stefan grinned as he pushed Damon backwards and rattled the shutter for the garage down, locking them inside. "Strip."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 TNB

"There…there…Stef…" Damon drooled and panted. "There, oh god…!" He grabbed the pillow and hid his face as he moaned loudly and Stefan chuckled.

"You want some more?" Stefan teased, sliding his fingers in and out of Damon's entrance with ease as he teased his prostate.

This was his new favourite hobby. Damon was adorable in his reaction to this and would always hide his face with pillows or covers as he breathed. Damon rocked against Stefan's fingers.

"You want something bigger?"

"Fuck!" Damon moaned muffled. "Stefan…" It was practical a growl of need and Stefan pulled his fingers out and pushed his manhood in instead.

Damon trembled and gyrated to help him inside and Stefan leaned over him and began to move. He pulled the pillow from his face and Damon grunted at the loss.

"I want to see you." Stefan breathed, leaning down to capture his mouth.

Damon moaned and opened his mouth to him. Damon was always so embarrassed and shy when being entered. Stefan was sure it was because he was so used to being the more male in a pairing, the one to be on top, but Stefan had realised very quickly just how much Damon enjoyed this too. He was just too shy to admit it. Stefan lay his head in at his neck and Damon panted and shook.

"Uh…" Damon's voice resonated in his throat and Stefan pressed his lips against the skin to feel it.

"So beautiful. You're so beautiful, angel." Stefan whispered in his ear and Damon climaxed violently and messily between them, grabbing at Stefan's back for support as he rode it out.

Stefan slowed his rhythm to let him breathe and paused, rotating his hips gently as Damon whimpered and gripped his back so tightly his fingernails were leaving indents in Stefan's skin. Stefan raised his head and kissed him, drinking in every little gasp or whimper of post coital pleasure Damon emitted. He had given him this orgasm and he could jump for joy that it had been such a good one. Damon always satisfied him completely but Stefan was still new to sex and was still learning.

"Hmmn." Damon hummed as their tongues intertwined.

Stefan began to move again, slowly, deepening his thrust. Damon made little gasps again. Stefan pulled his mouth away and held himself above him.

"I wanna make you cum again." He breathed and Damon huffed a smile and closed his eyes.

Stefan withdrew from him and urged him up. Damon sat, flushed and alluring and Stefan turned him on all fours. This was just about the only time he could get Damon to do anything he wanted, to be this compliant. Damon wasn't naturally a submissive person, so Stefan wasn't sure if he would actually adopt this position. Stefan ran his hands down Damon's back and he hung his head and waited. His erection, although satisfied, still stood to attention and Stefan shook his head and smiled at that as he reached around and stroked it. Damon whimpered again at the contact and Stefan entered him. He began to thrust, tilting upwards slightly and Damon began to pant again.

"This is what it's going to be like forever." Stefan whispered as he kissed Damon's back and thrusted deeper into him. "As perfect as this. I'm going to have you every day for the rest of our lives."

Damon moaned and pushed back into his thrusts.

"I'm going to make love to you until you can't walk anymore."

"Fuck, Stefan…" Damon drooled and Stefan felt his excitement speed his climax towards him.

He gripped Damon's erection tight and Damon moaned as he sped up his pumping in time with his thrusts. They both gyrated against each other excitedly until they climaxed together and lay down on top of the bed, still connected as they breathed.

"That…was new." Damon chuckled breathless and happy.

"You always say that." Stefan nuzzled the back of his neck.

"It usually is."

"Am I the first man you've slept with?" It hadn't been something he'd planned to ask Damon, but it popped out.

"Yeah." Damon said honestly.

"Good." Stefan sighed happily.

"I'd ask you the same question but I doubt I'd believe the answer."

"Huh?"

"Plus, you don't remember."

"Hmmn." Stefan grunted in affirmation. "I haven't slept with any other men either."

"Then you're a quick learner Stef." Damon chuckled and Stefan smiled proudly and kissed his shoulder.

"I love your body." Stefan sighed.

"Yours aint so bad either."

"When you touch me I feel like I'm on fire." Stefan confessed. "In a good way."

"I will touch you at all times then." Damon smiled and flexed his hips indicating he wanted to roll over.

Stefan sat up and removed himself carefully, stroking over Damon's entrance, pleased to see his juices there. Leyla had always made him wear a condom even though he couldn't impregnate her. He'd never understood it but it didn't bother him until he realised how satisfying it was to leave his juices inside someone. It was pretty primal but impossible to fight. Damon gave a little purring sound as Stefan rubbed his thumb over the entrance.

"I'm in you." Stefan marvelled.

"Hmmn." Damon purred again, gooseflesh covering his skin as Stefan pushed his finger inside and caressed his insides.

"Thank you for letting me."

"Huh?"

"For letting me be with you, for letting me love you like this." Stefan beamed and curled his finger upwards making Damon jolt at the sensitivity. "I could just do this all day."

"If you do that I won't be able to talk, never mind walk and we'll miss our check up." Damon struggled to speak as pleasure coursed through his body down to his toes again.

"Shit!" Stefan said as he remembered.

He removed his finger and kissed Damon's neck as Damon sat up and leaned into him.

"Time to find out if I'm all better so you can take a bite of me." Damon reminded and Stefan bit his shoulder playfully.

Stefan had so been looking forward to being able to drink from him and now they'd know if it was safe to. They had an appointment with a colleague of the professor's to get Damon's blood sample checked. The professor had skipped off to Africa as planned so at least they could relax in that knowledge. After everything that had happened, Caroline and the others had systematically went through all of the professor's possessions and files, destroying everything they could find about the vampire experiments. They were safe.

It had been difficult to explain to Leyla and his friends just what had happened to them. He didn't want them to know the horrific details and how close they had come to death. Damon didn't like ruminating over things so he'd told them that another drastic crazy episode had occurred in Mystic Falls like usual and that had kept him occupied for the time he had been out of touch. Damon had been getting on well with his friends and he was so happy about that. Gone was the stubborn, slightly confrontational version of Damon. He was happy and free to be himself without judgement and it did seem to be having an effect on how relaxed he was. He'd even been helping set up the instruments at their gigs. Stefan's heart felt fit to burst. Leyla was fond of Damon too although it was clear that she still had feelings for him. Damon seemed to have picked up on it, but instead of being territorial, he was being kind to her and ensuring he chatted with her so she didn't feel excluded.

Stefan was doing the same for Elena now too, calling regularly. Despite her continuing reservations about he and Damon's relationship, she was a friend and he'd invited her and Caroline to stay at the weekend and come to a gig.

"Shower." Damon yawned, bringing Stefan back to reality and they both moved to the bathroom, still kissing and touching as they washed.

As they were dressing, Damon pulled some clothes out of the little drawer on the bedside cabinet that Stefan had cleared for him. He'd been staying every night but they hadn't really talked about a permanent move yet.

"Hey, I was thinking…" Stefan said as he buttoned his shirt, "about castle Salvatore."

"Hmmn?" Damon sounded as he began to dress.

"What if you sell it? We could buy something amazing here with the money and make this permanent. You know, you and me, together all the time."

Damon froze and looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Stefan paused, tensing. He'd struck a nerve and it was clear. Damon's face creased a little and he turned away.

"I…" Stefan stammered, unsure what Damon was feeling.

"No." Damon said plainly.

"I just thought…"

"No, Stefan. It's my home. It's our home." Damon said simply and dressed with intention, still keeping his back turned.

He was clearly upset and Stefan moved to hold him from behind, but Damon gently stopped him from sliding his arms around him. Stefan gulped and stepped back feeling rejected.

"I'm sorry." He said, his throat tight. "Damon?"

Damon exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair.

"That house has been home for nearly one hundred years. It's where we…there are so many memories, there's…" Damon struggled.

"I know."

"No you don't. How could you, you don't remember anything!" Damon snapped at him suddenly and Stefan felt it like a blow to his chest as he bit his lip and swallowed.

Damon had never been angry with him before, not since they'd been lovers. It hurt like a hot poker being shoved into his throat and he took a shaky breath. Damon walked into the bathroom, still not looking at him and Stefan sat on the bed, feeling hurt and upset. It was just a house, a building. He didn't understand. He dashed at a tear that spilled with the back of his hand and he heard Damon exhale from the bathroom. He sniffed and tried to shake himself out of it and Damon turned on taps.

"I just want us to be together properly." Stefan croaked, knowing Damon's vampire hearing would pick up on it and the taps turned off.

"I'll never sell the house. It's the only bit of my brother left." Damon spoke from the bathroom and Stefan blinked and held himself.

Damon no longer thought of Stefan as his brother and although that was worth jumping up and down about, it meant that Damon had also been grieving too. Damon missed his little brother and even having the new Stefan here, being his lover, partner and friend, couldn't fill the hole that grief created. Stefan blinked some tears down in his face in admittance of that. He didn't know how to comfort him. Damon walked back through and frowned guiltily at Stefan's forlorn expression and tears and he went to him and hugged him, kissing his head.

"I love you." He whispered and Stefan lay his face into his stomach and nodded. "Baby steps."

Stefan nodded again and dried his eyes, letting Damon stand back and stroke his face.

"We've got all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere." Damon said softly and Stefan gave him a smile. "Pretty soon you're going to get tired of me being around all of the time and you'll be begging me to go home."

Stefan took his hands and kissed them.

"Never."

Damon smiled and pulled him to his feet.

"Let's do this thing." Damon winked and slid his arm around him, leading them out of the bedroom into the lounge.

They had a quick blood bag each and jumped into Stefan's car. Stefan pouted at Damon's refusal to let them go in the vintage car with its crank handle now gloriously available, because Damon didn't trust that someone wouldn't steal it. So in the Camaro they went, headed towards Whitmore. They were going to hook up with Elena for lunch after her classes.

As they drove, Damon held Stefan's hand reassuringly, apologising for snapping at him earlier and Stefan felt like floating.

"I know you miss him terribly. I didn't think." Stefan admitted and Damon gave a small smile.

"I've still got you." Damon squeezed his hand.

"Are you going to go back home for more stuff for tonight?"

"Um." Damon squeezed his hand again and chewed his lip nervously. "Yeah, about that. I was thinking of maybe staying at my place tonight. You know, do some laundry and get some things in order."

Stefan made an unhappy sound immediately and Damon flicked his eyes to him.

"I've slept at your place for two weeks now Stef. I just need a night at home." Damon consoled and Stefan slumped his shoulders.

"Can I stay with you?"

"You've got that Aston Martin to buff for tomorrow remember?"

Stefan sighed unhappily.

"You don't want me to stay."

"Hey, look at me." Damon nudged him and Stefan looked at him sadly. "I'm maddeningly in love with you, ok?"

Stefan beamed at him and Damon winked seductively before returning his eyes to the road.

"Besides, I have two beds to strip back there and god knows we left the place in a wreck." Damon chuckled and Stefan smiled.

"You'll come back tomorrow?"

"With bells on." Damon smiled and Stefan relaxed and looked out of the window as they journeyed on in comfortable silence.

The appointment was brief and full of happy results and they embraced and kissed until it would have been inappropriate to continue. Damon was free of the pathogen finally and they didn't have to worry anymore about blood sharing. They both felt so light and free that the mood got the better of their sense of decorum and they made out and made love behind one of the faculty sheds like a pair of teenagers, as they giggled, unable to wait until they got home.

Lunch with Elena was great and she could see how happy they were. She was looking forward to their weekend immensely. They drove back to Stefan's apartment and Damon packed his things up to take them home and wash them as Stefan sat on the couch and began to miss him already.

"It's healthy to spend some time apart Stef. I don't want you getting bored of me too quickly."

"That'll never happen. You're unpredictable as hell. You keep me interested." Stefan said and Damon laughed as he packed, kissing Stefan as he came and went from the room.

Stefan knew he was being silly but he felt his chest tighten at the thought of spending a night apart from him. It felt like Damon was leaving him. He knew he wasn't but even still. He couldn't tell him that though, Damon had made it clear he really just wanted to get some of his things sorted tonight. He wanted to be alone, so Stefan couldn't be selfish. He kissed him goodbye and watched depressed as Damon drove away in one of his other cars. He closed the door and leaned back against it, looking to the empty flat now devoid of his lover and he sighed.

He went into the bedroom and pulled at the bedclothes. They seriously needed to be washed. As he pulled them he spotted a small package, wrapped and placed at his side of the bed. He reached over and picked it up smiling. Damon had gotten him another present? He opened it and smiled, tears forming in his eyes as he opened the box. A tiny model plane to build. He knew Stefan loved to build models and they'd watched an old movie last week as they'd lazed around in bed called 'The First of the Few' that had the invention of the Spitfire plane in it. Stefan had marvelled at it and clearly Damon had taken note and gotten him a small model Spitfire to build. Stefan held it to his chest a chuckled to himself. Could he love him much more than he already did?

Damon had a bath, relaxed and happy as he thought on the past few weeks with Stefan. He felt so happy, so complete. Even being with Elena hadn't been free from issues or arguments or some other complication but being with Stefan was as easy as breathing. He hadn't been all that surprised when Stefan had mentioned selling the Boarding House earlier. He'd figured something of that nature would come up in conversation eventually. He felt bad about how much he'd hit back at the idea. It felt too soon. His brother had only been gone a little while and his presence still lingered here.

He couldn't let go of that yet. If he sold the place and got rid of his brother's things, there would be nothing left of him. It would be as if he never existed and Damon couldn't bear the thought of that. He ran his fingertips over the sides of the tub as he felt a burst of grief spoil his happy mood. He sighed and closed his eyes, shaking himself out of it. He'd grieved for people before, it would just take time. Why was it so hard now? It wasn't just because Stefan in reality wasn't dead and was actually now his lover. It was the sense of continuation. When he'd rescued Stefan he'd thought he had his brother back, but instead his brother had disappeared into the furthest recesses of his Stefan's brain. Gone forever. There had been no ending, no sense of closure. That's what this pain was. He opened his eyes and nodded to himself. He needed closure.

He got out of the bath, grabbing his customary bottle of champagne in hand as he left the bathroom, throwing a towel around his waist. He walked out of the room and along the hall to Stefan's bedroom and opened the door. The room still smelled of his Stefan – his deodorant and aftershave – all completely different from what his brother had worn. He felt a little sad at that. It would have been nice to have smelled the lingering scent of his brother for just a moment. His Stefan had taken a few things to the new apartment and threw out or burned other things here. He should have stopped him from doing that. They weren't really his things to burn or give away if he refused to accept Stefan Salvatore. Damon wandered around the room, looking for something that particularly reminded him of his brother. Tucked away at the end of a bookshelf was an old photograph album.

He pulled it from the shelf and flicked through it, smiling at the dust floating from the pages. He inhaled the smell of age. This was exactly what he'd been hoping for. Thank god his Stefan hadn't destroyed this. He wondered why. He flicked through, sitting down on the bed and stopped at the last page, his heart thudding loudly in his chest as he traced the image with his fingertips.

It was one of their earliest family photographs. Taken by their father at the beginning of the Civil War. One of the first to be printed on paper as opposed to copper sheets. Giuseppe had been a keen business man, always travelling and getting involved with new technologies. Their business was built on lumber and associated products, which had began to include more paper manufacture at that time. Giuseppe had come home one evening with a camera and explained the process excitedly to Stefan. Stefan had always been so full of desire to learn and he'd grabbed Damon excitedly and convinced him to try it out.

Damon bit back tears as he looked at the image of them both. So young and naïve. Innocent. Katherine hadn't come into their lives just yet, like a whirlwind and they had been simply men of the time. They looked so happy, their arms draped around each others' shoulders as they smiled at the camera. Even though their bodies had scarcely changed since then, they still looked so much younger here.

"Hello brother." Damon whispered as he traced around Stefan's face and sighed, letting tears slide down his cheeks now. "Where did you go?"

He shook his head and gave himself over to tears as he held the photograph and drank from the bottle of champagne. He sat there for a few hours, just thinking and remembering his baby brother. It helped actually. He cried then stopped, then cried again a few times until his champagne was empty by his feet. He stood up and held the photograph to his chest as he exhaled.

"Goodbye brother." He said to the air and placed the photo carefully back into the album, tucking it under his arm as he walked back to his own room and closed the door behind him.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28 TNB

Damon slept well that night. He felt relieved, lighter. It was always going to be hard reconciling that his brother was gone but at least now he had said goodbye. At least he still had his Stefan, so he wouldn't be alone. Stefan had gave him space and left him undisturbed and Damon stretched in his bed happy to be there but strangely feeling a little disappointed that his bed was empty. He thought he'd feel relieved getting a night sans sex to sleep, but as he rolled onto his side he sighed and touched the pillow next to him. He had it bad.

He had never fallen so completely in love with someone so quickly. It was a little frightening and yet it felt so natural. He looked around his room thinking. If only Stefan would stay here with him, but then, this wasn't Stefan's place and he'd feel haunted by the ghost of his former life here. Stefan's apartment wasn't big enough for them though. He'd have to get on that because he didn't want to spend any more nights away from him if he could help it.

He reached down to his bedside cabinet and lifted his laptop, turning it on as he propped himself up. They needed a new place that was theirs, not one or the other. He began searching through the property adds in the village Stefan was currently living in. If they could stay in the town where people were happy meals, then they should. His stomach grumbled as he clicked through a few pages and he sat the laptop down on the bed as he climbed out from under the blankets and went to his mini fridge. He sucked on a blood bag as he texted a good morning text to Stefan, followed by kisses. God, he was getting sentimental!

Nothing seemed right in the ads. The buildings were too modern looking. He wanted something older, something more ornate. He huffed and closed the laptop down, moving to shower and dress. Stefan was working on an Aston Martin today, so he'd be busy and no doubt covered in wax and grease. Damon grinned to himself as he realized just how much he'd come to enjoy that smell. It was a Stefan smell now. He pulled on his clothes and looked around the room. He needed to do laundry and pack some new clothes. He'd meant to do it all last night but he'd spent half of the night weeping and drinking so he hadn't done a thing. He chewed his lip and looked around for anything he needed immediately, grabbing half of the clothes from his wardrobe and throwing them into an old suitcase he had at the back of his closet. They'd come back for other stuff later.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stefan turned the music up on his iPod as he leaned into the engine and twisted his spanner. The music bounced loudly off of the wall in the garage and he grinned and tapped along to it as he worked away. It had been hard getting out of bed, he'd felt so empty at the lack of Damon's body heat beside him, so he'd decided music was the best cure for his lack of motivation.

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket and he smiled and wiped his hands on his jeans, before grabbing it.

Good morning beautiful. xxx

Stefan beamed and took in a deep breath. Damon was awake. God how could one night apart seem like so long? So torturous? He'd spent most of the evening building his spitfire - painting it with his delicate brushwork until it looked just like the package. He'd left it to dry proudly on the coffee table in the lounge so Damon would see it when he came back.

He wanted to reply without sounding too needy. What he wanted to do was to beg Damon to come back right now and make love to him on the hood of this car, like they'd done the other day. God he sounded like a horny school kid. He sent kisses back and then followed it with another text.

Morning Angel.

Damon sent a wink back in response and Stefan laughed delighted.

"Call me. Please call me." Stefan spoke to the phone desperately, waiting.

He was beyond pathetic but he didn't care. He stared at the phone for a few minutes before he scolded himself and put it back in his pocket. Damon needed space and that was fine. It was fine. He returned to working on the car fastidiously and turned the music up again. Damon would be over later and he wanted to be finished everything. Tonight he might get to feed from Damon and watch him unravel. He was so excited about that idea. Damon had thought it was adorable how much Stefan wanted to blood share.

The afternoon wore on and Stefan felt tired and irritable. He was hungry. He washed his face with cold water and pulled his cell out to text Leyla. She was still his happy donor thankfully and it was just as well because they were out of blood bags. He fired off a quick text request to her and she called.

"Hey!" he answered.

"You ok?"

"Yeah I'm just grumpy and hungry, you know. I was wondering if I could feed?" He asked, feeling a little guilty at how little time he'd spent with her lately.

"Is Damon with you?"

"No, just me. He's in the land that self-preservation, forgot."

"Sorry Diane." Leyla evidently had one of the other donors with her. "Oh well, less competition for your affections then."

"Sorry, we've just been...kinda wrapped up in each other lately." He apologized.

"It's cool, I'm just glad that there's a bunch if you coming out tonight. Elena and Caroline coming too yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah, we will meet you in there."

"Cool. Ok well I can come over if you want?"

"Please. I gotta finish this car and I can't concentrate."

"Ok, be over in five." She hung up and he relaxed and rubbed his face.

She arrived a few minutes later and they went up to his apartment.

"You do look hungry." She commented frowning. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just ran out of blood bags last night and forgot."

"I thought you had loads." She urged him to sit on his couch.

"Damon and I have been sharing them."

"Why didn't you call me? It's better fresh."

"We were kinda occupied." He blushed and she gave a small smile.

"I love the honeymoon period." She sighed and swept her hair away from her neck as she straddled him.

He reached out to hold her automatically and looked up at her, licking his lips at the smell of her blood.

"Wait, what? Honeymoon?"

"You know..." She chuckled and he raised his eyebrows, "At the beginning of a relationship where it's all sex and passion and talking. Best part. Shame it can't stay that way forever."

He frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because it just doesn't dummy? Haven't you ever had...oh right." She corrected herself.

Stefan frowned.

"You don't remember any other partners."

"No." He said huffily and she leaned forward and pulled him into a hug.

"It's just a saying. I'm sure you two will be at it for the next few decades." She soothed. "Now shut up and drink, Mr. Grumpy face."

He still felt like saying something but his hunger won out and he bit into her shoulder and pulled some of her essence into his mouth. He moaned as he swallowed. Damn he had been hungrier than he thought. He suckled and she gyrated against him as she enjoyed herself.

"Oh Stefan..." She whispered, getting hot and bothered as he drank and held her at her hips on his knee.

Stefan sighed and buried his face into her skin, drinking and moaning until he heard a bang. He pulled his mouth away in surprise and she wilted against him panting as he looked to Damon standing in the doorway looking annoyed.

"Really? She has to sit in your lap like that?" Damon didn't look pleased.

"Huh?" Stefan said dazed, his head spinning slightly and Damon frowned and came forward, tilting his chin.

"Didn't you feed yesterday after I left you?"

"I forgot." Stefan admitted and carefully moved Leyla onto the couch beside him as she sighed and sat back relaxed and satiated.

"I leave you one night and you practically collapse." Damon shook his head, all his annoyance gone completely and Stefan smiled up at him goofily.

"The world collapses when you're in Mystic Falls."

"Just as well I'm back then." Damon looked pointedly at Leyla.

"Kiss me." Stefan said and Damon bent down and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

Stefan hummed and pulled Damon to him and Damon chuckled and separated their mouths, standing up.

"Take me to bed." Stefan grinned and Damon huffed in amusement.

"Are you stoned?"

"No!" Stefan shook his head and Damon squinted and looked to Leyla.

"You're stoned and you're donating? What are you doing?" Damon accused and she gave a wicked smile.

"I wanted to see if it was true." She giggled and Stefan looked to her confused.

"Huh?" He said and she giggled again.

Damon signed and rubbed his eyes.

"Ok, up." Damon motioned for him to stand and Stefan grinned and grabbed him in a hug as he stood.

"Love you. I missed you last night."

"Clearly, you dumbass." Damon squeezed him and then swept his legs from under him and carried him to the bedroom as Leyla laughed.

He lay him in the bed and stood back to look at him.

"This is what happens when you feed from a stoner Stef. You'll have to sleep it off."

"Sleep with me then."

"Your Aston Marten guy is due at 4. Did you finish?"

"Who cares, we can just eat him." Stefan chuckled and Damon smiled but folded his arms trying to be serious.

"Or...I will finish and you sleep."

"No." Stefan pouted. "I'll help you." He tried to get up and his head spun.

Damon pushed him back down and leaned over to kiss him. He stroked his hair and hummed, melting all of Stefan's bones in relaxation.

"Sleeping beauty is awoken by a kiss remember. Maybe I will wake you up with something a little more exciting."

"What?" Stefan chuckled confused and Damon clicked his tongue.

"It's a fairytale. Never mind. Move from this bed and I will cuff you to it."

Stefan bit his lip mischievously and Damon gave him a pointed stare of command.

"I'll be back soon." Damon covered him with a blanket and went through to see Leyla with her head in the fridge.

"Thanks a lot." He grumbled and she looked over at him. "Now he's going to be munchied and there are no blood bags left."

"He can feed from me more." She offered and Damon folded his arms.

"Ah. Now I get it."

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Don't act all innocent. His enjoyment isn't the same as yours when he feeds you know. I give him that."

She blushed embarrassed and he stared her out.

"What's going on with you?" He asked, trying not sound jealous and accusatory as she turned to him and looked down at her hands nervously.

"Am I attractive?" She asked meekly and he raised his eyebrows. "Do you find me attractive?"

"Listen, you're a nice girl but I'm not really interested." He said and she looked up mortified at his assumption she was asking him out.

"No, I know. I meant, am I sexy? If you weren't with…If you were straight…" She stumbled and he unfolded his arms.

"Spit it out." He said softly.

"It's just, Stefan wanted me. We were together sexually and there was nothing wrong. It was great."

"Yeah." Damon prompted trying not to picture his Stefan with anyone else.

"Why did he fall for you? Did I do something?" She asked, looking at him for answers and he frowned and ran his fingers through his hair. "I need to know."

Damon sighed into his hands and sat down as he tried to think about how to salvage this girl sanity and sexual identity.

"It's not about you alright? You're hot ok? Stefan's always felt something for me. For a long time I didn't understand it." He said and she sat down across from him.

"Did he like guys before the lake?" She asked and Damon started picking at the arm of the chair nervously.

"Not that I know of. It was always Elena or Katherine."

"Elena." She repeated, joining the dots together and Damon chewed his lip.

"Was Elena upset?"

"That's one word for it." He gave a weak smile.

He felt uncomfortable and exposed talking like this with a virtual stranger. He shuffled uncomfortably.

"Point is, you're gorgeous and you didn't do anything wrong. You just didn't stand a chance because of how our lives shaped. I rescued him, since then I've been on a pedestal."

"Is that really what you think? That he idolizes you and that's why he feels like he does?" She leaned forward and he sat back in his chair, wary of her proximity.

"Some of it." He answered and she shook her head.

"So why are you with him if you think that? Why do you want to be with him?"

"I love him." He shrugged.

"It must be nice to feel revered." She commented dryly and stood up and he squinted at her.

"What?"

"Must be nice to have someone think you can do no wrong and be hopeless devoted to you." She sounded a little bitter.

"What the hell are you saying?" He stood up abruptly as she pulled her car keys out of her pocket and staggered, holding onto the wall for support.

"I care about him a lot ok? I'd take him back in a heartbeat. Remember that." She advised and he chuckled incredulously and grabbed her as she moved to leave.

"Is that a threat princess? Really?" He smirked sarcastically. "I will eat you."

"Love him for the right reasons. That's all I'm saying, because there are others who would Damon. Be one of them."

"Why don't you go home and eat a huge cream pie princess." He widened his pupils, catching her eyes. "While you're at it, you might wanna wash your hair and the other shit women do to avoid social events. The gig is boring tonight anyway, you'd rather stay at home."

She looked at him dazed and he put his hand over her mouth so she could repeat back to him.

"Off you go little girl." He gave her a slap on the behind and she blinked and walked down the stairs, rubbing her eyes dazed.

He slammed the door and exhaled a deep breath of anger. Who did she think she was? She knew Stefan for five minutes and suddenly she was the expert? He rolled his shirt cuffs up and headed down to the garage to finish work on the car Stefan had abandoned.

He vamp sped around and finished the coating on the car, before driving it onto the street and waiting for the client. To his disbelief it was the same asshole as the last time and he folded his arms and huffed. The jerk wad approached him and asked where Stefan was.

"Busy." Damon replied, unable to hide the fact that he didn't like this guy.

"Well, can you get him down here please, if he's not too pre-occupied?" The guy stood his ground defiantly.

"Problem?" Damon gave a fake smile that riled the guy further.

"I paid him for a double coating on my other car and he only did one. I want a refund." The guy held his chin back.

"He did double coat it."

"I've been reliably informed that he didn't."

"What's your problem? Huh? Any idiot who knows anything about cars – which clearly you know jack shit, could see that car was double coated. So what's really itching you?" Damon held his temper at bay.

"Who are you to speak to me like that? You think because you two are…are…" The guy waved his hand towards him and Damon saw red.

He grabbed the man's throat and squeezed.

"What, because we are lovers? Does that bother you? A little guy on guy action huh?" Damon gave a dangerous smile and the man grabbed at his hand in fear of his strength.

"Let me tell you something about people like you. You don't deserve to lick the boots of people like Stefan. People who work for every penny, servicing assholes who wouldn't know their right foot from their left without a helper."

"Please!" The man choked and Damon felt his teeth fill his mouth as the urge to bite the guys' head off seemed more and more appealing.

"If I ever see your face around here again, I will bleed you dry." Damon flashed his teeth and the man's eyes widened in horror. "Forget everything about this garage and this encounter. When you get home you're going to give all of your cars away to charities. In fact, you're going to give everything away and hope to god that I don't see you ever again."

The man stared into his eyes mechanically.

"And those latent homosexual tendencies that you're fighting, it's time to let go." Damon chuckled to himself as the man sagged and he let him drop to the ground.

The man rubbed his throat confused and climbed into his car, driving away as though the devil was on his tail. Damon laughed to himself and brushed his hands down before sauntering back into the garage.

Leyla sat in her car and watched him. Damon had compelled that man. He'd done it without permission. It had to be reported. Those were the rules.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

"Hey, wake up sleepy head." Damon ran his nose into Stefan's ear as he urged him awake.

Stefan yawned and stretched, opening his eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hungry." He replied.

"That'll teach you." Damon chuckled, kissing him softly as Stefan put his arms around his neck.

"We are out of blood bags." Stefan pouted and Damon grinned at him, climbing onto the bed above him.

"You might have to settle for dinner a la Damon." Damon winked and Stefan giggled excitedly.

Damon lay down beside him and Stefan sat up enthusiastically, looking towards his neck.

"It'll hurt you." He said nervously, remembering Damon's bite.

"I'll survive." Damon chuckled, baring his neck and Stefan leaned in and kissed his jugular vein, before sinking his teeth in.

Damon's body tensed a little at first but the warmth and relaxation soon took over and he melted beneath Stefan's embrace. The blood was spicy and sweeter than human blood. It almost tasted like Damon's skin. Not that he had any frame of reference of course but somehow it tasted of Damon specifically, not just of vampire. It felt as though Stefan could just eat him whole, consume his very soul through the blood. It felt insanely intense, intimate and yes erotic. His body responded in preparation for sex, urged by Damon's soft breaths and squirming under him. He pulled his head up, feeling a huge rush of love and adrenaline and looked at Damon's expression.

Damon was sweating and aroused too. Just like Leyla usually was, except this time Stefan knew he could keep drinking and maybe have him at the same time without killing or hurting him. His body alit with excitement and he immediately started pulling their clothes off. Damon smiled a little fuzzy but helped him as best he could until they were pressed skin to skin.

Stefan entered him gently amidst soft sweet kisses. Damon felt a little delicate from the blood loss - a little limp in his arms so he wanted to be gentle and careful with him. The scent of the blood traces left on his neck fueled Stefan's desire threefold and as he thruster and kissed him, he ran his tongue over Damon's neck to collect it all. Damon lavished in the attention, moaning and whispering encouragement as he did so.

The blood and sex at the same time was mind blowing and Stefan began to make animal noises and growls which only seemed to make Damon more vocal. Stefan felt like an animal, so close to having no clear thoughts other than the need to give his seed to Damon. He pulled his head from his neck and growled his fangs and veins on display as he tried to catch his breath. It would be too easy to hurt Damon, to take too much or injure him in his desire to consume him and he had to pull himself back.

"Damon!" He spluttered in fear that he would lose control and Damon slid his arms up his back and soothed him as they stopped moving and rested.

Stefan panted, trying to think clearly and Damon cooed at him softly.

"It's ok, it's normal. I'm ok." He soothed and Stefan looked at him, hoping it was true and that it wasn't his ripper side coming out.

"I'm not a ripper." He said, feeling tense and Damon frowned and cooed at him again in understanding.

"We are vampires Stef. This is what we really are."

"I can't stop, I'm going to hurt you."

Damon's veins appeared and he let out a growl.

"You can try." He growled and tilted his hips up to move Stefan inside of him.

Stefan looked to him to make sure this was ok and he winked. Stefan smiled in relief and began to move again, this time much more confident in what he wanted and what Damon did. He knew Damon could stop him if he hurt him. They became lost in each other as the vampire took over and they bit each other and rolled around, ruining the bed sheets with blood and semen as they fought playfully.

Stefan came out triumphant in the end and pinned Damon beneath him, making Damon yell out in climax as he hid his face with his arms and shivered. Stefan curled into him afterwards and held him. Damon attempted to speak but came out with gobbledygook and Stefan chuckled and kissed his cheeks, his face, and his nose as he let him calm his racing heart. He felt like he had electricity in his veins and it was a wonder. Damon reached up for him and he lay on top of his chest, kissing his lips and humming.

"Love you." Stefan whispered against his chest, as he tilted his head and kissed the muscle there, carefully extracting himself from Damon's body.

"Love you." Damon sighed and brought a pillow over his face.

Stefan laughed and tucked his chin under Damon's as they relaxed and snuggled.

"Why do you love me Stefan?" Damon drew back the pillow and whispered and Stefan sat up and looked at him in surprise.

"What?"

"Why do you love me when I'm bound to fuck up and ruin what you have here?" Damon said earnestly.

"You won't." Stefan frowned and kissed him soothingly. "Whatever may have happened in the past, it doesn't matter. Not anymore. You can be free here. Start again." Stefan stroked his hair and Damon exhaled and closed his eyes.

"What if I can't?"

"Then we figure it out together."

"I'm not a good person, why do believe I can be?"

"Because you love me. Don't you?" Stefan said a little nervous and Damon grabbed him into a hug and squeezed him, kissing the side of his neck in affirmation.

"I don't care what happened before. I love who you are now. Just as you are." Stefan soothed, holding him back and Damon swallowed his feelings hard in his throat.

"Just promise me something." Stefan pulled back. "No danger ok? Don't go looking for it because it always finds you if you do."

"I'll try." Damon gave a weak smile and Stefan cupped his face.

"And no lies. We can't hold anything back from each other." Stefan raised his eyebrows and Damon swallowed and gave another smile and nod of acknowledgement.

Stefan beamed at him and gave him a chaste kiss as he sat up fully.

"I can't wait for everyone to meet tonight. It'll be great." He beamed and Damon felt his stomach roll.

"Yeah, great." He said chewing his lip. "I think Leyla mentioned she couldn't make it tonight after all. Some chick thing."

Stefan's face fell and Damon swallowed bile. He looked so disappointed. Damn it!

"But hey, I will give her a call later and see. She said she wasn't sure." Damon added quickly and Stefan's expression straightened a little.

"She promised. I want her to meet everyone."

"She will." He stroked up Stefan's arm soothingly.

"How was the client? Can't believe I passed out there."

"You didn't tell me it was the jerk wad." Damon raised and Stefan shrugged.

"He's an ass but he's a customer. I didn't want him to get under your skin. You didn't do anything did you?" Stefan looked at him nervously and Damon gave a smile and shook his head. "Good. I need the revenue."

"No you don't. You don't need to put up with any asshole. You've got me now."

"I love you and I like the fact you have money, but this is mine. My baby." Stefan said and Damon gave a long sigh.

Stefan swatted him in jest and got out of the bed as Damon broke into a sweat. Shit. He'd fucked up.

"Stefan..." He said sitting up and Stefan walked into the lounge calling back in response. "I..." He stumbled.

Should he tell him? If he told him, he'd be livid. The customers' absence could always be the result of him not needing any servicing. That was how business went. Customers came and went. Stefan might never need to know.

"Make some coffee." He said instead and put his head in his hands.

The rest of the evening went great and no more was mentioned about the jerk wad. The only problem was now Leyla. Caroline and Elena had arrived and dropped their bags in the lounge. They were crashing for the night and had brought sleeping bags. Stefan proudly showed them around his new home, including all of his models - his new Spitfire, taking pride of place on his coffee table. Damon had beamed at how much Stefan cherished it and Elena smiled throughout. They could both see how happy Stefan was and how much in love.

"So tell me about the gig tonight." Elena held Stefan's hands and leaned towards him sideways on the sofa as Damon jumped in the shower.

Caroline got to unpacking their bags and making a bed for them on the floor before them, just to save time later when they were inevitably drunk.

"What kind of music do you play?" Elena smiled, interested and he grinned and squeezed her hands.

"Rock, with a bit of bluegrass."

"Bluegrass?" Caroline said in surprise and looked to him and he shrugged.

"Yeah. It's cool." He defended, chuckling.

"And who are we going to meet tonight?" Elena continued.

"My friend Leyla. She's my ex." Stefan shrugged again as Caroline gaped. "She helped me a lot when I came here. She my donor too. Damon's a little pissed at her just now though."

"I can't believe people are willing donors here." Caroline said as Elena continued to look at Stefan, oblivious to her comment.

"Why's he annoyed at her?"

"It's so dumb. She came around today to feed me and sat in my lap to do it. I guess it looked like we were getting carried away a little when Damon walked in." He blushed.

"She's still alive isn't she?" Caroline interrupted again and Elena sighed and looked at her pointedly. "I'm just asking. A jealous Damon is a kind of kill-people type of Damon." Caroline put her hands up defensively and Elena shook her head.

"He's not like that anymore." Stefan chuckled. "He doesn't need to be, he's happy here."

Both girls looked to each other and chewed their lips.

"He wouldn't hurt her, she's important to me." Stefan added and Elena smiled.

"Of course he wouldn't. He seems happier than I've seen him in a long time. Truly." She said and he smiled, full of emotion.

The rest of their evening went smoothly, they all fed on some blood bags that the girls had brought. There were rules when new vampires came to town – one being that they had to meet the mayor and get permission to feed on donors before they could begin. The mayor liked to be kept apprised at all times on who was feeding. Damon's first meeting with the mayor had been tense and uncomfortable. They'd kept the fact that Damon had already fed from two girls, secret from the mayor. It was Stefan fault for not having made the time to organize the permission meeting that day but they had finally talked about being together and all Stefan had cared about was getting to his waterfall and making love to seal the deal.

Damon thought it was crazy to ask a human for permission. Stefan had used Damon's affection for Sheriff Forbes as an example of the relationship that he had with the mayor. Damon had bitten his tongue and got through the encounter, leaving the mayor pleased that Damon could be trusted not to lose control and kill anyone. The rules on compulsion had been harder for Damon to swallow though, but without the need to compel to feed, there wasn't a huge amount of uses for compulsion anyway so he let it go and didn't resist that.

Unfortunately for Elena and Caroline, staying one night didn't get them a meeting with the mayor, just the supervision of the other vampires living here. They policed each other when there were newcomers, not that the girls would be a problem. They had both stated that they preferred blood bags anyway, as they preferred not to feel like they were using people for food. It was a win win.

They headed out to the gig laughing and joking. Caroline and Damon had managed not to kill each other so far, so that was a huge relief. Damon and he held hands discretely and Stefan found it amusing that Damon was shy about obvious signs of affection in front of others. Strange, he'd never noticed it before but then Damon didn't like people to get too close to him, so it kind of made sense. They walked to the bar and entered to meet Stefan's group of friends. They'd saved a large table for them near the stage and Stefan did all of his introductions as they sat together. The fact that Leyla was absent didn't escape Stefan's notice and although he was enjoying the conversation and engaged in it, he kept looking towards the door, hoping she'd arrive. Damon watched him, feeling guilt swirl in his stomach. He held his hand and whispered to him to make him laugh and take his mind from the door, but he could tell that Stefan was going to be devastated if she didn't show.

He stood up to go to the bar, letting Stefan sit with his friends so he could get a moment to think. He should call her and get her down here. He shouldn't have compelled her not to come. It was dumb and childish. She was no threat to him and yet he'd acted like a scorned partner. He ordered a round for the table and rubbed his eyes as he began to plan running back to the car and going to her place to compel her to come again, when he turned around to see her enter. He froze and watched in disbelief as she walked over to the table and was met with Stefan jumping up happily and hugging her. He looked so joyful, so happy. Damon felt his throat dry up as he watched.

Stefan did the introductions and she sat down with them, talking to Elena and Caroline with interest.

"There you go buddy." The barman nudged his elbow and he was startled back to reality as he accepted the tray of drinks from him.

His heart beat loudly as he approached the table, unable to take his eyes from Leyla. How the hell had she decided to come? He'd specifically told her not to. What the hell? She couldn't have been drinking vervain otherwise Stefan would have been ill when he fed. That could only mean that she must have been wearing vervain earlier. Why would she do that? She trusted Stefan completely.

He sat the drinks down on the table and everyone took theirs, Stefan rising to get Leyla a drink as he did so.

"I'll get it." Damon offered, looking to her as she turned to look at him.

"No, I'll get it. Sit down and relax." Stefan said and kissed him chastely as he moved away towards the bar.

Damon took a seat and lifted his drink, raising it in cheers to everyone and taking a mouthful of much needed bourbon. Everyone fell into chatter but Leyla looked at him pointedly on a few occasions in long enough periods to make his stomach flutter with anxiety. Thankfully Elena and Caroline were particularly interested in her and they broke her eye contact regularly enough for Damon to breathe. Soon enough the band started to get ready and Damon stood to offer to help like he normally did. Stefan kissed him, making him blush and pull back embarrassed as everyone looked at them. He knew that everyone accepted two gay guys but Elena hadn't seen them act like a couple properly yet and he wasn't sure how she'd react. He looked to Elena, his cheeks glowing as Stefan chuckled and moved away with the equipment.

To his relief Elena winked at him and Caroline didn't have an expression at all – so at least that was progress. He turned to move towards the stage and help with the mics when Leyla stood up and touched his arm lightly.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" She asked and he opened his mouth to make some excuse. "Cool." She said, before he had a chance to respond and she pulled him by his arm towards the bathrooms.

Once they were in the hallway, she turned to him and crossed her arms.

"Surprised to see me?" She said and he clenched his jaw.

"You're using vervain." He said and she nodded. "Why?"

"Standard safety pre-caution here when new vampires are being initiated." She explained simply and he frowned.

"Initiated? This isn't a frat house honey."

"You're new, therefore everyone close to you has to wear vervain until we know you're going to follow the rules."

"God forbid." He grumbled annoyed and she shook her head.

"It's ok to have an argument you know. You don't have to compel me to forget about it. We are allowed not to agree on things."

"I don't even know what the hell we are disagreeing on lady. All I know is that you were all over him and you got him stoned. Then you fire back at me about making sure that I really love him, when you don't even know what you're talking about." He accused.

"I'm sorry ok? Ever since we broke up I've felt like maybe there was something I could have done to have stopped it. Can you imagine someone leaving you for someone else because they have a fantasy of who that person is that's over inflated?"

Damon grunted angrily and she shook her hand and rubbed her eyes.

"It's just hard ok? I was into him. He was to me as well and then…it was all about you. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?" She asked and he felt some of his anger dissipate as he thought on the love triangle that his brother and he had been trapped in with Elena for so long.

For a long time he had felt like that. Elena seemed to like him and then not and then she did again and then it was all about Stefan…It had been some of the hardest, most challenging times in his life. He swallowed and softened a little.

"I saw you earlier with that guy. You compelled him." She said and he flushed with perspiration.

"What guy?"

"I saw you Damon." She whined at how hard work he was being. "You know you're not allowed to, even if the guy wasn't a local. It's against the rules."

"So what? The guy was an asshole." Damon scowled. "He was trying to wind up Stefan."

She stared at him, seeing that he was telling the truth and she softened again and nodded.

"You can't break the rules here. Do you want Stefan to get into trouble? He's the one that lives here."

"Stefan's got nothing to do with it." Damon defended and she shook her head and sighed.

"He'll be asked to leave." She said simply and Damon's eyes widened.

"You can't do that to him. He loves it here." His voice was tight in his throat.

"You did it, not me. I know you're devoted, just remember everything you do reflects on him. If you're not sure if you can do this you better tell him." She said and he huffed.

"You talk about us like you know us. How long have you known him?"

"Probably better and longer than you. He came here broken and I helped him settle here." She challenged.

"So that makes you an expert?" He snorted.

"You said earlier that he loves you because he puts you on a pedestal. Maybe you should figure out if that's the only reason and save us all a blow out." She said and he froze, wide eyed.

He frowned at her and folded his arms defensively.

"I want to be your friend Damon. You can have a life here too if you want it. Stefan has told me so many awful things about what's happened to you. You just have to learn to be part of this community, not a sideline. Ok?"

"Fine." He gritted, still scowling like a child.

"Just answer something for me will you?" She asked and he rolled his eyes and waited. "Just tell me that you don't just feel like you do because he can give you a clean slate."

"What?" He barked, offended but she clenched her jaw confidently.

"Do you love him solely because of how he sees you in his head, or do you love him because of who he is?" She said and he unfolded his arms as his stomach churned.

He'd be lying if he said that that hadn't been something he'd asked himself. He knew that he wanted the life that Stefan had here. He wanted to share it with him. He wanted to be happy, to be free from the past. He wanted to feel like he could have happiness. Would their life be different, less appealing should Stefan get his memories back? Or did being the person that Stefan thought he was, create their love? He wasn't deluded enough to believe that if that was the sole motivator of their mutual love and desire for each other, that it might not last. Damon couldn't change who he was and he always managed to sabotage his happiness somehow. Hell, he already had today.

"I don't know." He mumbled honestly.

He didn't know what else to say and an expression crossed her face that made him turn around in surprise. Stefan stood listening to them, his face pale and full of emotion as he stared at him. Damon opened his mouth but nothing came out and Stefan turned and left silently.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30 TNB

"Stefan." Damon croaked as Stefan left the hallway.

His heart seized and he sucked in a breath of dread and fear. He didn't know what to do. He felt completely in a panic and rooted to the spot.

"Go after him!" Leyla urged, but he couldn't move. "Damon, go after him!" She pushed him forward and he moved into the bar area again, wide eyed and anxious as he scanned the room for him.

What the hell was he going to say? How did he fix this? What did Stefan hear? How much did he hear?

Elena looked over and caught his eyes, taking in his stance and expression and immediately stood from the table and came over to him.

"What's wrong?" She touched his arm and he looked at her, still unable to talk. "Damon?" She touched his face and he blinked.

"I fucked up." He croaked and she frowned in concern. "Stefan…where is he?"

Just as he spoke the band started to play. They both turned and looked to the stage to see Stefan behind the drums. He looked focussed and utterly calm. Damon made a small groaning sound and Elena pulled him towards the bar. He sat down on one of the stools and she ordered some bourbon.

"What's happened?" She sat beside him. "What did you do?"

"I don't know." He groaned and put his head in his hands. "He heard a conversation that didn't sound right."

Leyla came up behind them and Elena looked at her in annoyance.

"Hey. I'm sorry Damon, I didn't know he was there." She apologised and Elena raised her eyebrows and looked from one to the other.

"I just wanted you to be honest with yourself so you know how to handle this relationship properly. He's in it for the long haul and I know you want to be." Leyla said and Elena chewed her lip.

"What did he over hear?" Elena asked and Damon's eyes became glazed as Stefan's vocals started to boom, filling the bar full of music.

"I don't know if it's just the clean slate or whether it's him." Damon mumbled and she looked over to Stefan.

Stefan kept his focus on the drums and other players, avoiding eye contact with any of them.

"It's not just the clean slate Damon." She soothed, squeezing his hand.

"I don't know." He shook his head and downed his bourbon.

"It's not. Look at me." She turned his face towards her with her hands. "I've never seen you so happy, even with me. He's all you talk about."

Leyla sat down beside them and patted Damon's back soothingly. He grunted and ordered another drink.

"I just wanted to make sure that you're sure, because those memories will come back eventually Damon." Leyla advised and Elena looked at her in annoyance again. "I'm sorry Elena but even you know that. I've studied some psychology and that's just how the brain works."

"Leyla, I get how much you care. I know exactly where you're coming from, but I think you need to back off." Elena said softly, making Leyla become defensive. "We all need to back off. Me included." Elena added and Leyla relaxed again and exhaled.

"What's the point? It's over." Damon put his head in his hands again and she squeezed his hand.

"You think you're getting out of this one that easily? You need to talk this out with him. You both need to talk about it properly. You never have, have you?" She said and he looked at her feeling sorry for himself.

"Where do we even start?"

"With his feelings. I know you still don't understand them." She said and he nodded. "Why's it so hard for you to believe that he loves you? I did."

He looked at her again and she gave a small sad smile.

"He calls me angel."

"That doesn't mean he thinks you are. Look at all of the craziness that's happened between you. He knows you are no angel. He knows how ruthless you can be – you locked him in that damn safe again and left him to drown. You drove him away with your harsh words and disgust because of his feelings, you told him how you had left Enzo in that lab to die…"

"Right, I get it!" He snapped and she exhaled and cupped his face again fondly.

"You have been yourself all the way through. He knows who you are."

"But he still thinks I'm a good person, reliable, won't break the rules." He whispered.

"Have you shown any of that restraint in any of the times I've just mentioned?"

"No."

"Then what makes you think that he thinks that'll change. When you start a relationship you always try to be better, nicer…" She chuckled. "Everyone does. He is too! Through time you start to be more yourself and you do it together. You change together and if it doesn't work out, you talk about it."

"Didn't work for us." He grunted.

"That was different. Stefan was lost and we…were too at odds over it." She ran her fingers through her hair as Leyla squeezed Damon's shoulder and left them to talk. "Don't give up on this."

He sighed and took another drink, shaking his head.

"Tell me what you love about him." She said.

"Elena…" He sighed and she stared at him in command.

"His enthusiasm for things." He said and she nodded. "He loves to build things. You should see his face when I buy him a model or a part for a car." He smiled and she smiled too in encouragement.

"What else?"

"He's just fun, you know? He doesn't cry about all the wrongs of being a vampire. He just accepts it. He lives as though it doesn't change anything about how the world accepts him."

"Living here certainly helps that." She said and looked around at all of the people wearing red donor bands.

"He looks after me." Damon gave a small shrug. "He wants to do so many things together. He wants us to build stuff together."

"That sounds like fun, a new challenge for you."

"What if I ruin it?" He chewed his lip.

"There's always that chance. With any relationship. All you can hope for is that you can be friends afterwards. You have to be honest enough to know when you've screwed up." She said and he looked at her with dread in his eyes. "What?" She frowned.

"I fucked up."

"You just need to talk it out. He only heard half of the conversation."

"No. Something else." He swallowed and she crossed her arms and sighed.

"Who did you kill?"

"What? No! I didn't kill anyone, give me some credit." He hit back annoyed and she softened and uncrossed her arms.

"This asshole was trying to con Stefan out of money. I…changed his mind and sent him packing."

"You compelled him?"

"Told him never to show his sorry ass in this town again." He gave a smirk and downed his next drink as she chewed her lip.

"I thought compulsion wasn't allowed here."

"Nope." He said casually.

"Have you told him?"

"Does it look like I did?" He looked over at Stefan and swallowed hard.

"You can be such an idiot sometimes." She huffed and he gave a smile of agreement. "Tell him, now."

"It'll just make him madder."

"Well, you could always just give up and come home. No point in fighting a tidal wave huh?" She said sarcastically and he frowned at her in disbelief. "Why bother giving this a real shot? You don't deserve him anyway."

His heckles rose and he gave a small growl, before he realised what she was doing. She stared him out and he exhaled and rubbed his eyes, nodding.

"You want him? Go and get him. Do what you need to do to make it right. Fight for him Damon." She said as she rose from her stool.

"Why are you helping me? He's still my brother in your eyes." He asked and she looked over at Stefan for a second as she considered it.

"I don't know how to describe how I feel." She sighed. "He's not Stefan anymore, at all. There's nothing familiar about him in that way, but he's still a friend and he loves you so much." She felt her eyes fill a little and she swallowed them down as Damon gave a silent nod. "I miss Stefan, more than I can talk about, but I can't find him in this new version. He's not there anymore."

"You sound as crazy as me."

"Maybe I am." She smiled. "I keep asking myself what Stefan would want, but truth is, I don't know. All I do know is that whoever he is now, he's in love and just wants to live his life and I can't stand in the way of that. All that's left is to be here for him."

He looked over to Stefan as the set ended and Elena winked at him, before leaving and returning to the table. He watched as the crowd cheered and Stefan gave a little bow, laughing with his band mates. Stefan didn't even look at him. The crowed in front of the stage began to disperse and Damon stood up, his heart beating loudly as he moved slowly forward to help them pack the gear away. He loved feeling like he could help and he always did this, so it wasn't unusual. Stefan ignored him, un-screwing his drums and moving to pack them away as he climbed on stage and began helping the band. Every movement Stefan made, he was ultra aware of. He took a breath and got on with helping like he usually did and to his dismay Stefan walked past him and left the stage to join the table of friends waiting for him happily. He swallowed a lump in his throat as he got on with what he was doing until the band had cleared the stage and moved to their partners.

He climbed down from the stage and walked to the table, taking a seat next to Elena. Leyla looked over to him in apology, but Stefan ignored him still. It hurt like being staked. Minutes dragged painfully until Stefan moved to go and get some drinks from the bar and Damon jumped up from his seat and followed him there nervously.

They stood at the bar side by side, Stefan still ignoring him as he tried to think of what to say.

"Stefan." He said softly and Stefan exhaled and shook his head sadly. "What did you hear?"

"Enough." Stefan answered. "You don't love me. It's fine. It was too good to be true anyway."

Damon turned him to him worriedly.

"That's not what I said. I do love you."

"You don't have to keep pretending. I'm a grown-up."

"Do you think I'd let you have me if I didn't want you?" Damon's eyes widened earnestly and Stefan searched them looking for answers.

"What if I can't help you have a clean slate? Are you going to go back to Elena?"

Damon leaned back as though he'd taken a blow and gaped at him. Stefan watched him, helplessly keeping silent and Damon clenched his jaw as anger filled him.

"If that's what you think, then what the hell are we even doing?!" He spat and charged away from him as Stefan wilted and leant against the bar for support.

The barman approached him nervously as he tried not to let his emotion show.

"Bourbon?" The barman asked and Stefan gave a quick nod.

He didn't trust his voice not to break so he kept his mouth firmly shut. Waves of heartbreak rolled over him and he sat down on the bar stool as he tried to hold it in. A small gentle hand rubbed his back and he turned his head to see Caroline looking at him in concern.

"Hey." She gave a small sympathetic smile and he closed his eyes. "You should go after him."

He looked at her frowning in pain. That's what he wanted to do, what his body was urging him to do but somehow the energy had left him. He had no fight in him. He shook his head sadly and she frowned and sat down next to him.

"He's a drama queen. He always has been. I think he actually enjoys heartbreak that one." She commented as she looked towards the exit where Damon had stormed out.

"The adrenaline of it maybe. Seems to be a continuing theme with him." Stefan said and she gave a small nod. "What about when the honeymoon period is over?"

"Then you have everything else that you build between you. Besides, it's different for us. Our bodies are on constant sex alert." She gave a small chuckle and he raised his eyebrows. "You don't feel like that?"

"I thought it was just Damon." He said a little surprised.

"No. Being a vampire makes you particularly horny." She chuckled again, blushing. "Trust me, I'm a not so long deceased human and I certainly didn't used to feel like this. Of course when you're with someone, it's more intense. That's natural."

"I love him so much." He whispered, looking down at his glass.

"I can see that." She rubbed his back. "So why are you sitting here?"

"Because he…what if I'm just an adrenaline fix?"

"Trust me, he wouldn't have left Mystic Falls and be playing nice with the locals if he didn't feel like you do." She snorted and sighed. "Maybe it's a risk we all take with someone else. Sitting here feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to clear anything up. Come on." She pulled him to his feet and he grumbled. "Pull yourself together and fight for your man."

She gave him a push towards the exit and he took a few unsure steps, turning to look back at her. She gave him an encouraging smile and tilted her head towards the exit. He sucked in a deep breath and began walking.

Damon stood outside, sucking in some fresh air as he tried not to vomit. He wasn't sure why he'd reacted so aggressively. It wasn't as though it wasn't true. Or that it wouldn't have been out with the realms of possibility for him to behave like Stefan suggested. After all he was a coward and a selfish bastard. Except now he didn't feel like he was the most important person in the world anymore. Now Stefan was the world. Everything revolved around him now and even if Damon had wanted to put himself first and leave this very sticky situation of incest, amnesia and romanticism behind, he couldn't.

He hung his head and exhaled, watching his breath create a cloud of smoke in the night air. Tonight had cleared up a few painful things. Stefan clearly didn't think he was an angel, above everyone else in worthiness. Clearly Stefan knew exactly who he was or who he had been until his influence and this new beginning for them and now he realized why he loved Stefan. He dared to hope that they could finally move on now, with no more worries or questions.

He leant against the wall of the pub and looked up at the sky as he listened to the laughter and sounds of the people having their Friday night inside. He wanted to be part of it again. He was tired of being out in the cold. It used to be something he preferred, but now it brought no comfort or solace. Footsteps approached and he stood up straight casually to see Stefan coming out. He swallowed nervously, unsure how to begin a conversation when Stefan moved into him and pulled him into a desperate kiss. He fell back into the wall and Stefan pressed him into it, coiling his arms around his body as he responded, opening his mouth to his tongue. He could feel every ounce of Stefan's desperation, his heart pounding, his need to seal the rift between them and he let his body melt against him. Stefan sucked and bit at his lips possessively and they panted as their hands began to wander over each other's bodies. Stefan was already hard against his thigh and rutting against him.

Stefan slipped his hand inside Damon's jeans, making him whimper into his mouth in surprise as Stefan stroked his erection. He gave a small moan and tilted into his touch as Stefan began to tease and tug at his flesh.

"Make up sex?" Stefan panted into his mouth and Damon could only give a quick nod.

Stefan pulled his hand out of his jeans and dragged him around the side of the pub, looking around for any witnesses. A few people were smoking outside so he looked to the forest surrounding them and blurred into it, pulling Damon along with him urgently. They moved to a clearing where Stefan immediately pushed Damon down on the ground without any warning. Damon fell with a huff and Stefan descended on him again, pulling Damon's erection from his jeans and sucking as Damon tilted into his warm mouth and sighed. Stefan was particularly good at this. Damon moaned in encouragement and gyrated into his mouth, losing control over his body as Stefan sucked and stroked urgently. Before he knew it he was coming, hard and unbelievably into Stefan's throat and he arched and shouted out in ecstasy. Stefan swallowed and licked his shaft afterwards as he lay breathing.

Stefan slowly removed Damon's jeans, kissing over his hip bones and inner thighs seductively.

"Stefan, wait…" Damon panted. "There's something else I have to…" He tried to clear his post coital brain as Stefan sucked his semi-erect penis back into his mouth again, causing him to groan.

Stefan clearly wasn't in the mood for talking, but Damon knew he had to get this compulsion thing out if they were going to have a make-up session here.

"Stefan, I…I…" He moaned and tilted as Stefan inserted his fingers into his entrance and stroked his insides.

"Hmm?" Stefan hummed, smiling wickedly at how easily Damon could be rendered unable to talk by him.

"Compelled…someone. Stefan…" He gasped and Stefan paused his movements and stared at him in surprise.

Damon swallowed anxiously and looked up at him in reservation.

"What?" Stefan asked.

"The jerk wad." Damon said and Stefan removed his fingers and sat back stunned.

Damon sat up unhappily, feeling the terrible ache left at the absence of his fingers.

"He was trying to con you out of money. I lost it."

"Did you kill him?"

"No. I just told him never to come back."

Stefan's eyes filled with a strange emotion and he looked away into the woods as Damon awaited anger.

"I don't regret it." Damon spluttered and Stefan looked at him angrily. "Sorry."

"Sorry you jeopardised what we have here, or sorry that you're not sorry?" Stefan demanded and Damon exhaled. "No, don't bother. I already know which one."

Stefan was angry, but silent as they sat there.

"So what am I supposed to do now huh?" Stefan commented dryly as though he were asking the universe. "Stay with you, trying to hold onto you like a balloon with a string as you subconsciously sabotage our life with your inability to control yourself? Or do I let go and land on my feet intact before you take me too far away from the ground?"

Damon looked to the ground feeling defeated already as Stefan held himself.

"I am what I am." Damon said with finality and Stefan gave a huff of amazement at how thick-headed he was.

"And I must be out of my fricking mind!" He hissed and Damon closed his eyes and sighed. "I must be, because I don't care if you ruin everything I have here."

Damon looked at him in surprise and Stefan shook his head at him, still angry.

"I'd probably let you kill me even, I can't seem to figure out any other way I want to live. All that matters is being with you."

Damon sat up straighter, hope beginning to bloom in him at Stefan's confession.

"Question is, are you with me on this?"

Damon took a breath.

"Yes."

"If you're not completely sure you have to tell me right now Damon. Right now, because if we go on much longer and you change your mind or you get bored of my tame little life, then I will die. Do you get that? I will die without you." Stefan said, still angry and Damon swallowed.

"I love you so much it burns me." Stefan growled, showing his teeth. "Are you man enough for that?!" He snapped and Damon growled back at him.

"Stefan. Shut the fuck up!" Damon hissed back at him and let his fangs drop. "Clothes, now!"

Stefan flashed his fangs back at him as they both got into defensive postures.

"Who do you think you are?" Stefan growled and Damon gave an evil smile and jumped on him, pulling his jeans from him as Stefan put up a fight.

"You're mine!" Damon hissed and bit into his neck.

Stefan gave a shout of surprise but surrendered himself to Damon iron like hold on his body and Damon worked his manhood hard again.

"Promise me." Stefan gasped as Damon sucked in another mouthful of his essence and Damon pulled back licking his lips.

"You are mine forever, Stefan. Mine." Damon still growled and Stefan closed his eyes. "Mine." Damon whispered again as he entered him in one thrust.

Stefan arched and let his mouth fall open as Damon's rawness. He was laying claim, marking him as his. They'd had sex lots of times before but Damon had never been so aggressive and territorial. This wasn't making love, it was fierce, hungry and primal. Damon pinned him down, growling throughout as he thrusted, holding Stefan's legs up to the air to get deep as he could go while Stefan moaned and tried to touch him. Damon growled at any attempt Stefan made to move though so he held his own thighs up to support Damon's hold as Damon got lost in his body.

"Damon, Damon…" He moaned, gasping when Damon began to blur around him.

He was moving inside of him so fast that Stefan cried out at the intensity of it, unable to look on Damon's face as he shifted in and out of focus.

"Oh god, oh god…!" He cried with a growl in his voice as he climaxed violently onto his stomach and Damon began to slow to human speed again. "Uhhh, uhh…!" Stefan climaxed again as Damon grabbed his manhood tight and milked him further.

Stefan almost cried at the relief and tidal wave and Damon finally stilled as he emptied his seed into him, his mouth hanging open as he looked up towards the sky. Stefan did cry then, panting and wiping tears from his cheeks as Damon lowered his legs to the ground.

"Damon…" He whispered, beckoning him to lie on him but Damon took a deep breath and pulled him forwards so that his entrance was flush with Damon's hips again.

He pushed his fingers inside and began to stimulate Stefan's already abused prostate and Stefan let out a cry again. Damon was on a mission. His eyes were completely black from desire and need to have Stefan never doubt that he was his. He made small bites all over Stefan's body as he continued to make Stefan beg and whimper. The bites healed unfortunately but he wanted to make them anyway as Stefan clawed at him, biting his shoulders and arms too. The stimulation got the better of Stefan and he howled out as he climaxed for the final time, becoming a writhing wreck in Damon's arms. Stefan wept against him, the relief of all of their now answered questions, squeezing out every last ounce of doubt. Damon became soft and gentle again, all traces of the animal part of their nature receding as he pulled Stefan into his lap, wrapping Stefan's legs around his back and holding Stefan to his neck as he wept and curled into him.

"I won't fuck up our life. I promise." Damon whispered, kissing the side of his head and Stefan squeezed him in response. "You're the world."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31 TNB

Damon held him as he recovered, his breaths now coming in short bouts of emotion as he let his emotions out into the air. Damon didn't joke, he didn't worry or feel guilty, he just comforted him and let him feel. Clearly he wasn't the only one who had had concerns and worries over their future, their relationship. He stroked Stefan's back with his fingertips, creating goose bumps as he did which made Stefan turn his face into his neck and snuggle his nose into his skin. Stefan was so precious, a gift. That summed him up actually. He was a divine gift.

As minutes passed, the likelihood of being caught half naked and post coital increased and it was with a grumpy disposition that Damon realised he had to get them dressed and back to the bar. Stefan was still clinging to him and nuzzling him though so he'd have to be gentle. He began to squeeze him reassuringly and kiss his head, rocking him gently in his lap.

Stefan sighed, getting the message and pulled his head back to kiss him. As they kissed they intertwined their fingers together and relaxed. Music from the bar increased in volume and they knew the club night had started now. The night was hotting up and they'd abandoned Elena and Caroline with their group of friends who were for all intents and purposes, strangers to them. They rested their foreheads together and smiled.

"You looked thoroughly fucked Stef." Damon grinned and Stefan chuckled.

"I didn't know you could do that."

"What? Rock your world?" He teased.

"Move inside of me so fast."

"There are lots of things I can do to you." Damon grinned seductively and Stefan bit his bottom lip.

"I wanna move like that."

"I'll teach you."

"Hmmmn." Stefan kissed him again as he curled his fingers into the hair behind Damon's ear.

"We can christen our new place."

"I can't wait." He smiled and Damon urged him to stand up and dress.

They both stood and fetched their jeans, sliding them on and trying to make themselves look less dishevelled.

"I'll go see the Mayor tomorrow." Damon said and Stefan paused and raised an eyebrow at him. "About the Jerk Wad." He explained.

"No you won't." Stefan said firmly and Damon frowned a little confused. "The guy was an asshole. Leave it be, just…seriously tell me when you're going to break the rules again."

"Again?" Damon raised his eyebrows now.

"I'm not naïve enough to think that you're not going to." Stefan explained and Damon gave an unhappy smile. "Just don't lie to me about it ok?"

"Ok." He said and resumed dressing.

When they were ready they headed back to the bar to find everyone dancing and having a great time. Damon watched for a minute, seeing Elena and Caroline laughing and drinking shots with Stefan's male friends. Stefan took his hand and squeezed.

"Come on." Stefan smiled at him in encouragement. "Let's join our friends."

For the first time that was actually true. They were his friends too, not just a bi-product of his association with Stefan – a necessary evil they put up with for Stefan's benefit. As they walked hand in hand to rejoin them, everyone cheered and clapped, laughing at how obviously post coital they both looked and Damon's face burned in embarrassment. Stefan chuckled and sat with Leyla as Damon sat next to Elena. She squeezed his knee and put a shot down in front of him, grinning. He lifted it in a toast to her and slammed it down amidst another round of applause.

The next few hours continued in a similar fashion until they were all drunk and loud. The music was good, the liquor flowing and it was a good time to be in love. Stefan couldn't believe it when Damon pulled him up to dance. Damon was normally embarrassed about being couply in public but perhaps now that they were on the same page, he was more relaxed. He relished the attention and held Damon's hips as they moved to the beat together. He kept expecting that Damon would remove his hands and hold them instead but he didn't, so he leaned in and placed an arm around Damon's back, looking at his face to see if he looked uncomfortable or embarrassed but all he saw was adoration there and so he leaned in the rest of the way and brushed their lips together. He couldn't help himself, it just felt to him as though there was no one else in the room that mattered. Then again, being with Damon usually made him feel like that but Damon was always aware of others.

To his surprise Damon held him back and kissed slowly, with love and tenderness despite their audience.

"Get a room!" The shouts came from their table and they broke their mouths apart and laughed.

They sat together the rest of the night, Damon keeping his arm around him comfortably, stroking the back of his neck as they chatted and laughed. Even Caroline managed to chat to Damon without any petty arguments. They left together, waving everyone else off into their cars as they headed back to Stefan's apartment.

"We could get a cab home if you want to be alone tonight?" Elena asked Stefan as Damon and Caroline argued civilly about the music from tonight's DJ.

"No, don't be silly." Stefan smiled and she chuckled and picked a leaf out of his hair that she'd been stopping herself from retrieving all night.

He chuckled and bit his lip as she held it out to him and raised an eyebrow.

"Just remember, vampire hearing." She raised her finger at him in fake command they burst into laughter that made Damon and Caroline look at them in intrigue.

They laughed again and linked arm in arm as they continued their journey home. Stefan hadn't really thought of his apartment as being small before, not until all four of them tried to get comfortable amidst the sleeping bags Caroline had prepared earlier. He mixed them some drinks at his kitchen counter as Damon stood behind him and kissed his neck, sliding his arms around his abdomen.

"When can we move?" He sighed and leaned his head back so Damon could kiss his mouth.

"Sooner than you think." Damon's voice purred into his ear, making him shiver.

"Good. Let's get a place with bedrooms far apart!" He smiled and Damon bit his shoulder playfully. "You're so different."

"Hmn?" Damon continued to bit his skin.

"You don't care that people are looking at us anymore?"

"Screw them." Damon said simply.

Stefan smiled. That was good enough he supposed. He finished their drinks and Damon took them to the girls, taking a seat beside Elena as Stefan routed around in the freezer for more ice. Caroline bounced up to help him happily.

"Did you have a good night?" He asked, leaning against the countertop as she took a seat at the breakfast bar.

"Yeah, you're friends are really cool. How the hell did you learn to play the drums so fast by the way?"

"I don't know." He chuckled. "I just banged around on them for a little while till they started to sound good. Needed to get my frustration out at the time."

"Maybe I should get some drums." She said to herself, pondering the stress relief value of it and he choked on his drink and chuckled at her.

"Hey! I have stress you know! Maybe I need a new outlet." She giggled at him indignantly.

"What could get under that thick skin of yours Care?" He chuckled again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and she giggled again.

"Yeah ok, I get it, college girl with a surviving parent despite vampire daughter and all. Best friend who won't die either and will be my partner in crime forever. Life could be worse." She smiled and he nodded amused. "Still, I tell you, everything that happened lately really made me realise what I have. My life is relatively normal in comparison to everyone else, despite the un-dead thing."

"How so?"

"Well, not to bring the tone down or anything but the stuff you told me about that German guy…it shook me up. I read into it a bit and I probably shouldn't have." She said gravely and he blinked at her topic change.

"Mengele?" He asked and she nodded.

"Guess the truth of human nature can be worse than your imagination sometimes."

"True." He nodded, refilling her glass.

"Did you read about him?" She asked and he shook his head.

"I knew a few people who'd been…in his care shall we say. Never could get it out of my head." He gulped and closed his eyes as he recalled the tales.

He shivered and opened his eyes to see her staring at him with a strange expression.

"What?"

"You…met people from his experiments?"

"Yeah." He frowned, confused by her continuing strangeness and silence. "You ok Care?" He gave an uncomfortable chuckle and she took a long sip of her drink and softened her expression.

"When did you meet them?"

"I can't remember. A while ago." He said and she reached out for his hand.

"Stefan, Auschwitz in 1945."

"Yeah."

She raised her eyebrows at him and he clicked as to what she was referring. His heart froze and his eyes widened. She squeezed his hand tight and gave a small nod of affirmation. Those people he remembered telling him about Mengele – they weren't people he'd met since he'd come out of the safe. They…were memories. Stefan Salvatore's memories. He dropped his glass onto the floor, shattering it into a thousand pieces as he stood frozen in terror. A memory. A memory!

"Stefan it's ok, just breathe. Just breathe." Caroline stood shocked at his reaction and tried to pull him into a hug but he took a step back, shaking his head as he felt his lungs close.

Damon was at his side in an instant, moving Caroline back as he reached for him and cupped his face. He began to hyperventilate and Damon searched his face worried and took his hand, placing it over his heart.

"Breathe with me." He said softly and Stefan closed his eyes and concentrated on Damon's heart beat like they'd done before. "It's ok Stef."

Caroline and Elena watched dumbstruck at the change in Damon, before remembering the glass everywhere. Stefan took a deep breath and whispered Damon's name, so Damon slowly pulled him into his arms and cooed at him quietly. Elena grabbed a brush and she and Caroline swept up the glass as they communicated with each other via facial expressions alone. They dumped the glass in the trash and looked to the two boys again. Stefan had his face buried in Damon's neck and he was shaking.

"I'm so sorry Stefan." Caroline said regrettably and Damon kissed Stefan's head before looking back at her confused.

"What happened?" Elena asked.

"A memory." Caroline said simply and Stefan pressed himself further into Damon's body.

Damon's eyes widened and he swallowed, licking his lips nervously as he tried to process what that meant. Stefan pulled back from him and searched his face desperately.

"Hey." Damon cooed, trying to give a reassuring smile but finding it difficult. "It's ok."

Stefan just searched his eyes. Damon exhaled and brought their mouths together softly to calm him. The kiss did seem to help and Stefan's body relaxed as he calmed.

"Doesn't change anything." Damon whispered into his ear and Stefan gave a small smile and nodded. "I love you."

"Care did you notice that Seven Eleven a mile back? I could go some Cheetos and Cherry Coke." Elena said and Caroline nodded.

"Sounds great. You guys want anything?"

"We're fine." Stefan said, still sounding emotional so they grabbed their purses and left discretely.

Stefan cupped Damon's face and Damon brought him in for more reassuring kisses, each one soft, delicate and perfect.

"Come on." Damon pulled his hands and led him to the bedroom, pushing him gently down.

He removed Stefan's clothes for him, Stefan watching him the whole time, afraid he would bolt at any minute. Damon removed his own clothes and climbed onto the bed with him, resuming their kissing.

"Damon…" Stefan croaked, fear still evident in him and Damon kissed his cheeks and mouth as he climbed between his legs.

"Nothing matters but us Stef." He whispered and Stefan opened his legs wide, aching to have Damon inside to seal their connection again.

Damon was gentle, as though he would break. He entered him slowly, kissing and caressing him until the only thoughts in Stefan's head were of love and Damon. They moaned into each other's mouths and whispered each other's names as hands slid over silky skin, sweaty thighs and hardened flesh. The bed hardly made any creaking sounds like usual, because Damon's thrusting was so slow and gentle. He took his time, giving Stefan's every cell the most pleasure he could, until Stefan was a writhing, crying mess under him again. Stefan climaxed loudly and held onto the bed post behind him as he breathed and Damon licked over his abdomen to claim his juices from his skin. Stefan shivered at the contact and closed his eyes peacefully, drifting off to sleep as Damon kissed his skin and removed himself from his body. He didn't care for his own climax tonight, this was about comforting Stefan. Stefan's slumber seemed a little restless though so he proceeded to kiss his body, stroking his fingertips over his skin until Stefan's eyelids began to dance in REM sleep.

He got out of the bed carefully, so as not to rouse him and washed his body down before throwing his jeans back on and coming through to the lounge, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the sofa and put his head in his hands sighing. Elena and Caroline crept back in quietly and gave him sympathetic looks as they took a seat next to him.

"He's asleep." He said quietly and they nodded.

"I didn't mean to scare him." Caroline said.

"What did he remember?" He looked at her tiredly.

"Auschwitz. When he mentioned them at Whitmore I figured he'd read about it, but he remembered meeting people who'd survived."

Damon nodded and rubbed his eyes.

"He was so terrified. I don't understand." She sighed vexed.

"He doesn't want to remember that life." Elena patted Caroline's knee but it didn't reduce her guilt and confusion any. "He wants to start over."

"He doesn't want to remember me." Damon said and they both looked to him.

They fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"If one memory has come back…" Caroline began.

"Don't." Damon said coldly and she closed her mouth again.

"There was always a chance this could happen." Elena comforted and he chewed his lip. "You read those text books I brought home from psyche. It's his brain healing from the trauma."

"Maybe this is the best thing for him." Caroline said and he glared at her. "I just…" she sighed, "I mean, his body needs to heal so he knows he can trust his own mind again. That his thoughts aren't shaped by a void of memory."

Damon swallowed painfully and gave a nod of understanding.

"He's going to need you, more than ever right now." Elena advised and he fidgeted with his ring. "You can still make this work."

"Elena…" Caroline breathed in warning and Damon clenched his jaw.

"We don't know what this will change but he loves you right here, right now. You need to be strong for him."

"I'm not going anywhere." He looked at her pointedly and Caroline bit her lip as she watched them. "I knew what I was getting into."

Elena's whole body relaxed and she took one of his hands warmly in hers.

"I'll be here whenever you need me to help. If you need me."

"Me too." Caroline said and they both looked to her in surprise. "For Stefan." She added and Damon gave a polite smile in acceptance.

They were never going to be friends or like each other much, not with their history but Stefan was important to her and he knew that'd she'd do anything for him. Despite his Stefan's new personality and life, Caroline still seemed to think of him as fondly as his brother. That connection on her end hadn't changed.

The girl's settled down for the night and he returned to Stefan's bed, curling himself around his sleeping form and kissing his shoulder as he spooned him. Stefan pulled his arm around him in response and made a sleepy sound. Damon squeezed him and nuzzled his shoulder.

"Everything is going to be fine." He whispered softly.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

When Stefan awoke he felt depressed despite the warmth of Damon's body against him. He pulled Damon's arm around his stomach and held it there as he listened to him breathe. How could he not have realized that all of that Nazi stuff wasn't his memories but the old Stefan's? He was so stupid. He must have made an unhappy sound because Damon roused and began kissing his shoulder softly.

"I love you." He whispered, leaning back into Damon's kisses and Damon squeezed him, hooking his arm around Stefan's middle.

"Love you too."

"I'm scared." He confessed quietly and Damon paused and squeezed him again. "I don't want him to take over my life."

Damon let out a quiet sigh and turned him over to face him, holding him close so they were eye to eye.

"It's your life Stef. The memories aren't an attack. They're part of you. You get to chose how they affect you now, not some ghost."

Stefan nodded unhappily and Damon stroked his cheekbones with his thumb.

"If I remember everything you won't love me anymore." Stefan said and Damon closed his eyes and sighed. "He's not me."

"You are you." Damon said softly and Stefan closed his eyes. "And I will love you even if you turn into my brother again."

Stefan felt his stomach churn. He knew Damon was trying to reassure him and soothe him but he couldn't help feeling like Stefan Salvatore was a parasite in his mind somewhere, waiting behind the scenes to steal his life from him.

"You still miss him."

"Sometimes." Damon tensed slightly, uncomfortable with this line of thought.

"If you could have him back..."

"No." Damon said firmly and pulled him into a deep gentle kiss. "I wouldn't give you up, even for my brother."

He threw himself into Damon's arms and held on as though he would evaporate. Damon chuckled into his mouth and separated their bodies as Stefan tried to fight the separation.

"We have two ladies in the apartment Stefan. I think we've already painted a clear enough picture of what we get up to privately. Let's not give them a live show."

Stefan blushed, remembering Elena and Caroline's presence and sat up. Damon sat up with him and kissed his neck and shoulder, urging him up and out of bed towards the shower. Stefan jumped in and relaxed under the spray. He wished he had a bathtub. He knew Damon missed his. They should buy one for their next place.

As he showered Damon went into the lounge to find Elena and Caroline already up and packed, sitting having some coffee at the countertop.

"How is he?" Caroline asked and he shrugged.

"He'll be ok." Elena said confidently and smiled at Damon.

"What's the plan for today then?" He asked them and Elena looked to Caroline.

"I have an assignment to study for so I'm going to head back to see mom, then go back to campus." She said and Elena nodded.

"I'm going to catch up with Jer."

"I thought you wanted to hang around." Damon said surprised and Elena gave a small smile.

"I think he needs your undivided attention today. We can catch up later." She said and he folded his arms feeling a little anxious. "You ok?" She frowned and he nodded.

"Peachy."

"Look after him." Caroline stood up and grabbed their bags.

"Always do." He replied and Caroline raised an eyebrow and huffed. "Now." He added and she nodded.

"Call me later." Elena kissed his cheek and they pulled their coats on.

Stefan came out just as they were leaving and frowned.

"Hey you guys leaving?"

"Got a big assignment due. We can catch up later though." Elena offered and he signed sadly.

"I ruined it."

"Yeah I didn't want to tell you but your company is so boring. You just don't have any interests do you?" Caroline smiled sarcastically, looking at the little pieces of his life around the room. "God your life is so boring I'd rather study."

"Ok, ok!" He laughed and pulled her into a hug.

She gave him a tight squeeze.

"Your life." She emphasized the word 'your' and he nodded and squeezed her in thanks.

Both girls headed out and Damon put on some coffee as Stefan saw them out.

"So, what you want to do today?" Damon asked when he reappeared.

"Marry me." He said rather than asked and Damon dropped the spoon he was holding in surprise. "Marry me Damon?" he asked now as Damon stared at him looking terrified.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Damon spluttered, bending to lift the spoon to break their eye contact and Stefan took a step towards him, his eyes burning with intention and clarity.

"Marry me."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

"No!" Damon gave a half chuckle, despite his terrified expression remaining in place and Stefan swallowed the rejection and exhaled.

"Why not? Because I'm your brother?" Stefan challenged, keeping his cool and Damon continued to stare at him like a rabbit in the headlights.

"You've just spent months convincing me you most certainly are not my brother. Don't tell me you're changing your mind now." He joked, trying to keep the fear from his tone.

Stefan clenched his jaw and exhaled again.

"No. I'm not."

"So what's brought this idea on?"

"I love you and I wanna be connected to you in every way possible."

"What you're really saying is that you want to tie yourself to me before you get your memories back and change your mind." Damon pointed at him with the spoon as he spoke and Stefan deflated a little in admittance.

"I won't change my mind." He mumbled stubbornly.

"Marriage isn't a guarantee Stef. It's not a magic wand that makes all of your problems go away. It's just a piece of paper. If you decide you don't want to be with me anymore, it won't change anything."

Stefan looked at him with sad eyes and Damon sighed and pulled him into a hug.

"We're going to be fine. We don't need that ok?" Damon kissed his shoulder and Stefan nodded, still feeling emotional and disappointed.

He pulled back and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and moved to sit down in his chair while Damon returned to making their coffee.

"I will never leave you, even if you remember." Damon said as he stirred their cups, avoiding eye contact and Stefan's heart did a flip.

He pulled his legs underneath him as he relaxed into his chair and smiled warmly. Damon winked at him and handed him his cup. He patted the chair next to him but Damon sat his coffee down and moved to the bedroom. Stefan sipped his coffee, enjoying the sweetness of it and looked around his little world. Damon had some things lying around in here now but there weren't any proper places for them. He'd have to do something about that.

Damon came back out and sat beside him, drinking his coffee and putting his feet on the coffee table. The spitfire was still pride of place and Stefan cleared his throat as Damon touched it with his toes. Damon chuckled and drew his feet back.

"I'd buy you a new one."

"Not the point. You bought that for me. It's special."

"I've bought you tons of things." Damon chuckled at how serious Stefan was being about a small model plane that cost him only $20.

"This one is special. You hid it in our bed for me to find." Stefan smiled in memory and shrugged when Damon raised an eyebrow. "It showed how much you love me."

"Well in that case, I'll have to start hiding more things in the bed huh?" Damon smirked and Stefan grinned.

"So today, can we look for a new place?" Stefan brightened, his heart fluttering at the thought of more public, committed, couply behaviour and Damon chuckled.

"Ever eager. Yeah. Let's do it."

Stefan swallowed the rest of his coffee excitedly, standing up and Damon shook his head smiling at his urgency. Damon got one more mouthful before Stefan pulled him out if his seat and dragged him towards the door.

"Can we use the crank handle?" Stefan looked at him with big eyes and Damon blew a breath through his mouth.

"Fine. If someone steals it, it's on you."

"Ok!" Stefan said excitedly and pulled Damon out of the door and down the stairs.

Vampire strength and endurance certainly were necessary commodities for working a crank handle. Stefan couldn't believe humans had actually bothered with the task back in the day. As he was winding it at the front a thought occurred to him that made him pause in anxiety. What if his love for vintage cars was a Stefan Salvatore thing? What did that mean? He gulped and looked at Damon behind the wheel as he tried to remember how to work it. Damon had mentioned that he'd had a car just like this, years ago. Stefan must have had one too. Damon looked at him through the windscreen and raised his eyebrows at his expression.

He straightened his expression and swallowed down his anxiety. He didn't want Damon to feel nervous that he was going to have a meltdown. He climbed in once the motor started running and Damon slid over to let him drive.

"You ok?" Damon eyed him.

"Peachy." Stefan smiled and looked at him as he started the car moving.

"God that is annoying." Damon commented on the remark and smirked to himself as Stefan shrugged.

They headed out on their mission happily looking forward to starting afresh.

There was still tension between them, it was impossible to avoid, even as they put all of their energy into ignore the elephant in the room. They dove head deep into viewing properties, Stefan trying to envision them as their home together, rather than the home they might end up breaking apart if he became Stefan Salvatore again. Damon did his best to keep his mind from wandering, holding him and whispering of where they could put furniture or build things together. Damon was doing a very good job of pretending he wasn't terrified of losing everything.

They searched house after house but nothing made Stefan feel like he could settle and hold onto his life fiercely. It was almost as though he was looking for a nest or better still, a fort where he could seal himself inside, safe and guarded as he fought off his memories like enemies approaching a battleground. And then, he found his haven.

Damon whistled and looked around at the architecture of the house as Stefan stood in the middle of the lounge and gazed out of the window to the large garden outside. Every hair on his body was standing and he just knew this was where he was supposed to be. It didn't strike him how similar some of the architecture was similar to the boarding house and Damon certainly didn't point it out for fear of upsetting him by bringing it to his attention. Stefan seemed happy and silent as the dead in his certainty that this was to be their home together. Damon walked around, speaking with the agent, allowing Stefan his quiet time with his thoughts.

Stefan had been emotional all day and Damon felt like he was somewhat walking on eggshells. He knew the kind of thoughts, fears that were going through Stefan's mind because he shared them. He had no idea what would happen if Stefan were to become his brother again. The idea of having sex or having had sex with his brother…It made his stomach churn. He had to keep shaking those thoughts away. He had to keep reminding himself that he loved the person walking hand in hand with him today. That was the person he slept with and knew intimately. That was the person he had to fight to keep a hold of and not let drown in a sea of memories. He just hoped he was strong enough to get through it too.

"So how much are we talking here?" Damon finally asked the question, watching as the agent blew out a breath, clearly wanting to play hard ball.

This guy knew what he had here. The house was two storey's, four bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, one en-suite, with a study, lounge, dining area, conservatory, cellar with storage, garage to the side of the property and 4 acres of land surroundings it. It was perfect and undoubtedly came with a high price tag.

Stefan wandered in and took in Damon's frustrated expression as the agent shrugged.

"What's wrong?" He raised his eyebrows and Damon grunted unhappily.

"We might need to speak to the mayor." Damon said to him pointedly raising his eyebrows and Stefan looked to the agent.

"I'm sorry Mr Salvatore. That's the asking price and I'm not at liberty to reduce it. The Mayor will tell you the same thing. Plus, the Mayor ensures that people in my industry take vervain." The agent folded his arms and Damon huffed and crossed his in annoyance.

Stefan's heart fell as he realized. The house was too expensive. Of course it was, even for Damon and he would be able to contribute nothing. He nodded and swallowed, fighting his breaking heart and Damon unfolded his arms in response and exhaled sadly.

"Well, thanks for letting us see it anyway." Stefan gave a smile and shook the agent's hand. "It's a really great place."

"Good luck with your search." The agent smiled back and Damon sighed and left the room, leaving them both to follow in his stead."

They stood outside, Damon staring off into the land around the home and Stefan stepped up next to him and took his hand, leaning his mouth against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Stef." He mumbled and Stefan squeezed his hand tight.

"You would have compelled him."

"Bet your ass I would have." He grunted as the agent drove away down the drive.

"You were going to ask for permission."

"Long shot I suppose."

"Yeah but you were going to ask." Stefan kissed his shoulder and smiled.

Damon grunted again.

"We'll find a place." Stefan comforted and they headed back to the car, Damon taking his turn with the crank handle this time.

Once they were moving along the road, Stefan sighed, feeling the tension of their circumstances radiating the air.

"We need a radio." He commented and Damon pulled his cell out of his pocket and opened his app.

"Great idea!" Stefan said happily and snatched it from his hands.

"Hey!" Damon pouted and Stefan chuckled and typed in his favourite song.

He pressed play and sat it on the small ornate dashboard as the music filled their carriage. He started singing along and dancing in his seat as they drove, oblivious to the fact that Damon was frozen and gripping the handle of the door in tension. The door handle broke off suddenly, breaking Stefan's focus on the song and he turned to look at Damon in surprise. Damon was pale as a ghost and sweating.

"What's wrong?" He frowned and pulled over to the side of the road suddenly.

Damon closed his eyes and shook his head, avoiding his eyes and Stefan turned to him and turned his face towards him, studying his expression.

"Damon?" He prompted, but Damon was still pale. "Don't lie to me."

Stefan's words seem to slice through him and he winced and looked into his eyes.

"What?"

"That song." Damon croaked and Stefan awaited an explanation.

"What about it? What? You don't like Bon Jovi?" Stefan gave a sarcastic smile but his skin was beginning to prickle the longer Damon's face remained like this.

"It was…" Damon struggled and Stefan let his hands drop from his face and searched his eyes again. "It was my brother's favourite song." Each word seemed to be painful for Damon to push from his mouth and Stefan's heart began to race wildly.

"No." He croaked and Damon closed his eyes and sat back defeated. "No, it isn't…wasn't. It's mine!" Stefan almost hissed as he felt his lungs closing.

Damon said nothing and just stared blankly out of the windscreen. Stefan deflated back into his seat and stared at the road ahead too.

"It's mine." He whispered and Damon lifted the cell phone and smashed it between his hands to silence it.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33 TNB

Stefan cried. He couldn't control himself and Damon hadn't been able to comfort him. He felt like he was losing his mind. The journey towards home had been a blur of anger, rage and disbelief. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair!

Damon had held him but for a change he had fought that. He didn't want to be held and comforted. He wanted to kill something, someone... And he knew exactly who. He'd tried to turn the car in the direction of Mystic falls with the intention if destroying Stefan Salvatore's remaining possessions. He wanted them all to burn, as though that act would cleanse this invisible invader in his brain, but Damon had shouted angrily at the idea. Clearly Stefan Salvatore's memory was still too important to be discarded and it just made Stefan angrier.

They argued, screaming at each other until Damon had abandoned him at the roadside and took off on foot to cool down. Stefan had no doubt in his mind that he'd be sleeping alone tonight. He'd pushed him too far. He'd stayed in the car for a while weeping and cursing his brain for ruining everything just as things were starting to pan out for them. Damon wouldn't want him now.

He cranked the handle and started the car as the sun went down. He felt heavy, exhausted and alone. He should call Caroline, but he couldn't face it. Caroline had said all along that this would happen and that it was a mistake.

"No." He sobbed to himself as he argued with that.

No, there'd been no mistake, just love. He wouldn't ever regret being with Damon. He loved him so much and that was what was important. He had to hold onto that.

He arrived back home to find the apartment empty. He lay on the sofa and cried to himself in misery. Would Damon come back? As he lay deep in self loathing he had a thought. Memories could disappear again. If they could be forgotten once, they could be forgotten again. How though? He sat up and wiped his cheeks as he thought on that. How to invoke...what had Damon called it? Dissociative amnesia. That's what he needed to do. He needed to do something to cause it to block out any more memories coming in.

He stood up full of adrenaline. What should he do? Recreate what had happened to him before? That would mean locking himself into the safe and letting it fall into water. He'd have to drown over and over again. He almost vomited at the thought and held himself. No, he couldn't do that. Then he had an idea.

He grabbed his cell and looked down at the screen, hopelessly looking for messages from Damon but of course Damon had smashed his cell to pieces in the car. He gulped some tears down and cleared his throat. If she was going to help him, he had to appear to be of sound mind. He had to convince her that this was a good idea and one that he was making with a clear head and understanding of what it meant. He wouldn't lose Damon. He couldn't and he'd lie, cheat and steal if he had to to prevent that. He had no choice. Damon's face when he'd realized, had been horrible. There was no doubt in Stefan's mind that should he become his brother again, Damon wouldn't be able to handle it. He would leave for the fifty years they'd agreed on.

He shook his head and dialed her number, taking a deep breath.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damon ran for a while, shaking himself off and trying to breathe. He didn't know where he was running to until he ended up there. The family vault was cold and empty but somehow inviting right now. He opened the door and walked inside, slipping down on his backside as he leaned back into the cold stone. He took a few breaths to calm himself and looked over to the small display he'd put together for his brother - nothing much, just a few items and the photograph from the album he'd found. This was where his brother lay. Here. Not in the body of his lover. Here amongst the dead and gone. He had to stay here and remain a memory!

He sighed in grief and put his head in his hands. That damned song had his whole body shaking in terror. Stefan and Lexi's theme tune. When he'd heard Stefan humming something that sounded like it weeks ago in the shower, he had shaken it off, but there was no mistaking it today. What did it mean? Could it just be a coincidence? Maybe Stefan had heard it on that old radio he kept in the workshop and he'd liked it. Simple as. Maybe he'd totally over reacted and now Stefan was hurting and afraid. He sat up a little straighter as he thought on that. Maybe it wasn't so much a memory but part of Stefan's nature. It was popular rock music, why wouldn't he like it after all?

Damon's eyes widened as he realized how big a deal he may have made over nothing. He stood up and looked to the photograph as he moved to pull his cell out, when he realized he'd destroyed the thing. Talk about an overreaction.

"What should I do brother?" He spoke to the photograph hoping for some divine guidance.

He huffed at his stupidity.

"Will you ever forgive me if I stay with him?"

He hung his head and sighed. He had to go back and see that his Stefan was alright. He'd abandoned him like a coward and ran away because it had all suddenly been too real for him to handle. He turned and walked out, closing the door to vault over and chewing his lip as he thought on how he was going to repair this.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Bonnie Bennett, what are you hiding?" Caroline put her hands on her hips as Bonnie cringed and chewed her lip.

"Nothing."

"Please, I know when you're sneaking out. Is Jeremy up tonight?" Caroline teased and Bonnie gave a relieved laugh that she should assume that was why she looked suspicious.

"Don't tell Elena. He's supposed to be studying."

Caroline gave her a look of disapproval and she tilted her head and raised her eyebrows.

"Like you never skipped a few study nights to fool around with Tyler?"

"Maybe." Caroline grinned and Bonnie smiled back.

"I'll be back later." Bonnie threw her backpack over her shoulder and headed out the door.

"Have fun!" Caroline chirped and Bonnie closed the door, blush creeping across her cheeks as she bit her lip.

She hated lying and she was terrible at it, especially to her friends. She sucked in a deep breath and headed out to her car, jumping in and throwing her heavy, book laden bag down beside her. She started the engine and pulled away, hoping to avoid seeing anyone she knew who would know instinctively that something was wrong. She held her breath until she was out on the highway and then she let her shoulders drop. She tried not to think too much about what was wrong. When Stefan had called, he'd sounded so strange and she'd instantly been concerned. He wouldn't explain over the phone, simply telling her that he needed her help, witch-help specifically but it was of the utmost urgency that she not speak to anyone else until she'd heard him out. That statement right away had made her concerned and she'd agreed to meet with him secretly to discuss what he needed. He was a friend and she had to make sure he was ok.

She'd heard Elena and Caroline's re-counting of the previous night and it sounded like Stefan was having a hard time. What had come out of it though was credibility for Damon that she'd never witnessed with anyone other than Elena. Damon did seem to love him and want to care for him, despite being…She shook her head away from those thoughts. She still couldn't reconcile the thought of them being intimate.

She drove to their arranged meeting place and he was sitting waiting for her, looking slightly disheveled. She pulled over and stopped, opening the door for him to enter but he waved her out. She grabbed her bag and he headed into a roadside diner. She followed him inside and sat down at a table he indicated too.

"Are you ok? You were cryptic on the phone." She asked and he nodded and gave her a small smile. "What's going on Stefan, why all the secrecy?"

"I need you to listen to what I have to say before you judge me or decide against helping me." He said calmly and she immediately sat upright and looked at him in concern.

"What's wrong?"

"Promise me you'll hear me out." He leaned forward, clasping his hands on the table and she searched his face and gave a silent nod. "You're the only one who can help with this. I don't have any other options."

"What can I do?" She asked simply and he swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I'm dying Bonnie." He said and she leaned forward and frowned. "I take it Caroline told you about my…memory the other night?"

She nodded silently, chewing her lip.

"Every one that comes back is going to kill me a little bit at a time."

"What are you..?" She began but he interrupted her swiftly.

"Each memory that isn't mine, of my life, removes a piece of me, of who I am and it'll kill me. I won't exist anymore. I'll just be a little holiday period in Stefan Salvatore's mind that he will forget and return back to his life and I'll be gone."

Her gaze on him grew more intense and he looked down to his fingers.

"I don't want to die Bonnie. I want to live. It's my turn. I have everything I want finally. I have a job, a home, friends…"

"Damon." Bonnie added and he looked at her and swallowed.

"Not if I'm his brother again. If I disappear and become absorbed by the memories. He won't be able to stand me."

They both sat in silence while Bonnie tried to figure out how she could help him. He sounded schizophrenic and it was a little unnerving.

"Help me stop it." He said quietly with an urgency that had the hairs on the back of her neck standing.

"How?"

"There has to be a spell, something to prevent any more memories from the past coming back. A supernatural plug." His eyes were wide and full of desperation and she chewed her lip again.

"Even if there was something like that, I'm not a witch anymore. I can't do magic Stefan." She reminded and he nodded knowingly.

"Help me find someone who can. Please Bonnie, you're my only hope. I'd rather die than lose my life to this."

"Stefan…" She leaned forward and took his hands in hers gently. "Magic isn't for preventing the natural order of things. Your brain is healing, it's natural for your memories to start coming back but it doesn't change who you are or what is important to you now. You are in control. You just have some new data to process." She consoled and he looked her straight in the eyes.

"I will die without him Bonnie."

She squeezed his hands.

"He won't leave you. Even when he's done terrible things that you hated him for, he never left."

"He can't love me unless things stay as they are now." He said urgently and she sighed. "Please. I love him Bonnie. He's more important than anything else and if I lose him because of this…I won't want to live anymore."

"He'll still love you Stefan." She said and he shook his head fiercely.

"As a brother!" He choked and pulled his hands back from hers abruptly.

"Stefan…" She sighed sadly and he stood up and looked down at her.

"If you won't help me, I'll find someone who will." He croaked and she opened her mouth to speak to him again when he blurred from the diner, leaving a gust of air blowing across her face as she stared at the space where he'd been.

Her stomach dropped and she looked around her for signs anyone had seen his movement, but no one seemed to have batted an eyelid. She rose, grabbing her bag and slung it back over her shoulder. He'd asked her to bring her grimoire and she had but their conversation had been for naught. She walked back out to her car, kicking herself for not having handled the situation better. He was hurt and confused and in love. For him, this was his first love so everything was more urgent and earth shattering. She remembered that feeling. When she'd broken up with Tony in third grade she'd thought the world was ending and had refused to get out of bed until Grams had threatened her with witch nonsense – or so she thought of it at the time, when Grams was just a crazy drunk lady whom she still adored despite it all.

She got into her car and opened her grimoire, looking through her grams hand writing for anything that might be capable of helping Stefan. She wanted to help him, but her guts told her that such a spell could not only be dangerous, but rife with consequences. Stefan didn't understand what he was asking for. She put the book down and grabbed her cell. She should tell someone incase Stefan hurt himself, but then, she'd promised it would be kept between them. She wasn't sure what to do. This incarnation of Stefan was young and fragile emotionally. She wondered what else had happened to make him so urgent today. From Caroline's description, Damon had handled his first memory well, so what had changed today? Where the hell was Damon? Maybe Damon had said something or had a typical Damon moment and now Stefan was freaking out. She clenched her jaw as she thought of that possibility.

She hit his number into her cell and called, surprised when there was an error message. Damon without a cell phone – that would be a first. She shook her head and put her key in the ignition, beginning her drive back to campus. She'd figure out what she was going to do when she got back there.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damon got back to find Stefan's apartment empty. He hit the wall with his hand in frustration. Damn him for smashing his cell. He had no idea where Stefan would be if not here, in the workshop or at the bar and he'd looked there already. He sat down and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He was a first rate jack ass.

He leaned back into the chair and closed his eyes as he tried to think of what to say when Stefan got back. He must have fallen asleep as he became gradually aware of Stefan moving around in the workshop below. He opened his eyes and blinked them clear of sleep as he sat up. Stefan's jacket was draped on the other chair and it hadn't been there before. He must have come home and saw him. Why didn't he waken him? He stood up and moved down the stairs leading to the workshop to find Stefan under a car, his legs the only part of him showing. There wasn't a hint of music in the room and that was pointedly done.

"Hey. Why didn't you wake me?" He said to the legs and Stefan dropped a spanner in surprise and then resumed working away.

"Don't want to fight." Stefan said muffled by the engine.

"Neither do I." He said apologetically but Stefan stayed under the car. "Stefan, come out from under there."

"In a minute." Stefan sighed.

"Stefan we need to talk." Damon said exasperated. "Stefan?"

Stefan ignored him until finally Damon clenched his jaw and lifted the front of the car up into the air. Stefan looked up in surprise and amazement and Damon looked at him annoyed.

"Now that I have your attention…get out from under there, I want to talk to you."

Stefan stood up and moved out of the way to let Damon lower the car back down onto the floor again.

"I've been looking for you all day." Damon turned to him and he swallowed and avoided his eyes. "I'm sorry. I over reacted about nothing."

Stefan looked at him in surprise.

"It was nothing, just a dumb song you probably heard on the radio." Damon added and Stefan felt his chest lighten a little. "I made it about him. I'm sorry."

Stefan felt tears fill his eyes and Damon pulled him into an embrace, kissing his neck and shoulder as he rubbed his back.

"I love you." He sighed against his neck and Stefan held on tight.

"I'm sorry I said I wanted to burn his things. I just hate him."

"He's gone Stef. You are here."

"I thought maybe you'd changed your mind."

Damon pulled back and cupped his face with both hands.

"You thought you could get rid of me that easily?" He teased and Stefan pressed their mouths together hungrily, desperately, moving Damon back into a wall covered in tools which fell all around them onto the cement floor.

Damon tried to control the kiss but could see he was fighting a losing battle and allowed Stefan to pull him into a small recess he had for his wax pots and cloths. It was hidden from the outside view of the workshop and Damon could see where this was going as Stefan pulled his jeans open and slid his hand inside to squeeze Damon's flesh. Damon groaned into his mouth and Stefan began to pump him hard. Stefan wanted to devour him, biting and sucking at his mouth and bringing his manhood alive in need until they were both panting. Damon reached for Stefan's jeans to return the favor when Stefan turned away and braced the wall.

"Take me." Stefan panted, pulling at his jeans as Damon's head spun.

Stefan pulled his jeans down to his ankles and spread his legs as far as he could and Damon gave a small growl. They'd had sex in public before but this time it seemed different, naughtier almost and Damon's veins were fuelled with fire. They both had a lot of adrenaline to burn off from today. He got to his knees and separated Stefan's buttocks gently, making him jump in surprise. They hadn't done this before and he knew Stefan had no idea what he was going to do. He grinned to himself in delight and gently ran his tongue up the crease to Stefan's entrance. Stefan gasped and leaned into a shelving unit in front of him, sending wax pots falling to the floor and Damon chuckled.

He took his time, running his tongue in this most sensitive and private area and Stefan moaned and kept knocking things over as he struggled to keep his legs beneath him. By the time Damon breached the entrance with the tip of his tongue Stefan was panting and shaking.

"Almost there." Damon whispered and Stefan groaned and flexed his hips back to meet his tongue as he inserted it deeper inside.

"Mmmmn!" Stefan moaned and clasped his hands around the metal shelves again to stay upright.

Damon knew he'd cum in another few minutes if he continued so he kissed his buttocks and stood, leaning into his back and intertwining their fingers on the unit as he pushed his erection inside slowly. Stefan gasped and held tighter to the shelf, almost bringing it down and Damon ran his lips over the curve of his shoulder at his jugular vein. He began to move slowly in and out of him, enjoying how much Stefan moaned and leaned back into him for support. He began to speed up, hooking one arm around Stefan's waist and holding his other hand still clasped around Stefan's as they both gyrated and made small sounds of pleasure.

Neither of them cared if a customer walked in and saw them. The world didn't exist at all. Stefan shouted loudly and climaxed into Damon's hand as Damon tugged at his manhood a few times whilst thrusting. Stefan leaned his head into the shelf, having now knocked all of the contents around the floor at their feet and Damon shook his body and the shelf as he hammered through to his climax and bit Stefan's shoulder through his t-shirt until he could suck some blood through the fabric. Stefan yelped again and leaned forward with such force that the unit fell to pieces and fell from the wall. Damon caught him as he fell forward to, almost knocking himself out and withdrew from him, pulling him down on to a sitting position on the floor. Stefan lay back into his lap and rested his head against his chest as he listened to Damon's heart beat thud.

"We have the best sex known to man." Damon chuckled as he caught his breath and Stefan grinned, stoned from the post coital glow.

"Hmmn." Stefan smiled and turned his head to look up at him. "Marry me?"

Damon chuckled and kissed his forehead softly.

"No." He gave a small smile and Stefan huffed sadly. "But, I will be in love with you until the stars burn out."


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34 TNB

Damon stayed a little while longer but then he had to go back to Mystic Falls. Stefan's immediate reaction was one of fear but Damon convinced him that it was just so he could pack more of his things.

"Until the stars burn out." Damon reminded him, stroking his cheek as Stefan nodded depressed. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Ok." Stefan croaked and kissed him goodbye.

Damon could see how hard it was for Stefan to believe that he wasn't running, but he couldn't stay here forever, afraid to leave him for any given moment. He had stuff to attend to at home and Stefan didn't want to step foot back there. He still hesitated as he took a step out of the workshop towards his car and he turned around to look at him again. Stefan looked so forlorn, it broke his heart. He opened his arms and Stefan practically jumped into them, holding him tight to his body and sniffling against his shoulder. He was shaking.

"Hey I thought we just had the most mind-blowing sex ever. What's with the tears?" Damon tried to joke, stroking his back and Stefan squeezed him.

"I love you so much."

"So you should." Damon teased and Stefan squeezed him again.

Damon pulled him back and into a kiss of reassurance and Stefan seemed to relax finally. Damon pressed their foreheads together and exhaled.

"Love you." He said and Stefan nodded silently.

He moved back towards his car again and Stefan held himself but seemed better now. Damon smiled and winked as he pulled away. Stefan watched him go, his chest tight. At least Damon wasn't mad at him anymore. He still loved him right now so that was good. He had to make sure it stayed that way. He moved up stairs to the apartment and retrieved his cell from his pocket, happy to see a text with the details of a local witch. In the end he hadn't needed Bonnie. Luckily one of his vampire friends from the bar knew of one and he said she was powerful. He took a deep breath and dialled her number.

"Stefan." She answered and he frowned in surprise.

"Uh, yes."

"Liam said you might call tonight. He said you've been shaking the grapevine for a spell?"

"Yeah."

"You do know that witches don't get involved in vampire business right?" She didn't sound pleased and he stuttered trying to think of how to explain.

"But, I…I just need…"

"Hmmn. You're young aren't you? New?" She interrupted his attempts at communication and he sighed in affirmation. "Maybe you haven't learned the rules yet."

"Please, it's nothing to do with what I am. I need help." He beseeched and she fell silent for a moment as his heart pounded.

"What kind of spell?"

"A memory spell."

"If you've misplaced something, there are plenty of 'do it yourself' lost and found spells…"

"No, no it's…I don't want to remember." He corrected.

"Huh?"

"I have amnesia and I don't want to remember anything. Is there a spell that could make sure that happens?"

"Why would you want to prevent your memories coming back?" She sounded confused and suspicious.

"I'm better this way. I'm more in control. I don't kill people or want to hurt them. I'm no danger to you or anyone else if I can stay like this."

She fell silent and he gripped the phone in his hand tight.

"Can you help me?" He begged and she huffed.

"There may be something, but it may be dangerous. When you are playing with your mind, there can be consequences."

"As long as I don't remember before."

"As long as you understand that any side effects are on you. I take no responsibility for any back firing."

"Yes, yes I understand. Thank you!" He said full of emotion.

"Where are you?" She asked and he gave her his address. "I'll need an hour or so to prepare but I will come to you."

"I'll be here." He said excitedly and she hung up.

He sat down, his pulse booming as his adrenaline hit him. This would work. He knew it would. She would cast a spell to stop any more memories coming through and everything would be the same. He and Damon would be happy and be able to get on with their lives and Stefan Salvatore would finally be dead. He sat back in his chair smiling to himself as he dreamt of what the rest of their lives could be like without the threat of memory stealing their happiness. It was going to be fine.

He lay down on the couch and relaxed for a while, smiling to himself as he pictured the future, when his cell buzzed. He reached for it and saw Bonnie's caller ID. He chewed his lip for a moment before answering.

"Hey."

"Hey, Stefan I'm sorry about earlier. You know I care about you right?" She sounded apologetic.

"Yeah, it's fine." He said and she sighed.

"I know how scared you are right now that everything is going to change, but maybe I can help." She offered.

"It's ok, I've taken care of it."

"What do you mean?"

"I found a witch. She thinks she can help me." He smiled to himself and she fell silent for a few seconds.

"Stefan, magic isn't the answer to this problem. I know you think it will fix everything but it's dangerous. Too dangerous." She said concerned and he shook his head. "Who have you spoken to?"

"Don't worry, she's powerful and she knows what she's doing. My friend told me about her."

"Your friend? Stefan you don't even know this person. She might not know what she's doing!" She said a little panicked.

"Bonnie, thanks for your concern ok? I know you'd help if you could but she sounded to me like she knew her stuff."

"Stefan I know you don't really know me, but trust me on this one. Magic can be unstable, unpredictable if you don't know what you're dealing with. I don't even know any witches in the area that are capable of even fundamental magic and I looked, believe me. Whoever this person is, if she was as experienced as you think then I would know her." Her panic began to increase the longer she spoke.

"I don't have a choice. Besides, I'm a vampire. It's not like she can kill me with magic." He said and she sighed in frustration.

"You're not hearing me." She gritted her teeth. "Just promise me something ok?"

"What?"

"If you're hell bent on doing this, let me be there. I will know if she's the real deal or not."

"Uh…"

"Stefan! Do you want to risk your mind? Do you want to end up like a zombie?"

"No." His throat tightened.

"Then let me figure this witch out."

"Ok." He gave in.

"When are you meeting her?"

"In a couple of hours. She's coming here." He said, starting to feel his stomach churn a little in anxiety.

"I'll be right over." She hung up without saying goodbye and he sat back in his chair and stared at the wall numbly.

Zombie-like? Surely a spell couldn't do that to his brain. His brain would heal anything like that, because he was a vampire. No, she was just trying to scare him into stopping. He curled up on the couch again and closed his eyes to have a nap. He'd feel braver when she arrived.

He'd barely fallen into a sleep when there was a ding of the workshop bell downstairs. He groggily dragged himself from the couch, shaking himself off and headed down to the workshop. He opened the external door and stood, blinking at the woman in front of him. She was tall, African American and in her mid 40's. She looked a little reserved and stand-offish as he took in her appearance. She practically vibrated power.

"Hi, I'm Stefan. Are you...?"

"Iman." She answered and he extended his hand to shake hers.

She hesitated, eyeing him suspiciously and took his hand.

"Liam said he knew you and you could be trusted." He said, clearly confused as to why she mistrusted vampires so much when Liam clearly regarded her as a friend.

"He was my god son, before he changed." She explained and he swallowed and moved aside to invite her inside.

She moved in, looking around, surveying her surroundings, almost as though she was looking for some danger awaiting her. He closed the door, scratching his head as he watched her. She seemed to relax when she realised that it was just the two of them.

"My apartment is just up the stairs." He advised and guided her up to the lounge.

She took a seat and looked around at all of his models. He smiled and began to tell her about some of them when she put her hand up and stopped him.

"Forgive me Stefan, I know you are young and inexperienced but I'm not here to be your friend."

He swallowed hard and felt himself grow nervous again.

"Our peoples don't play well together and I am here as a provider of services only." She explained and he nodded.

He felt a little rejected by her attitude. He hadn't met any witches before but somehow he'd expected her to be more like Bonnie – warm, caring and friendly. She wasn't. This was just business for her obviously.

"Now, I need some of your blood – just a small amount, something from your old life and something from your new existence." She said as she pulled some crystals and herbs out of her bag.

He nodded and moved around retrieving an old book of Stefan Salvatore's that he'd been too intrigued by to burn – it was about the civil war and he'd wanted to read it. He'd ended up shelving it in the end, afraid that it might stir memories, as Damon had explained that they'd grown up into human men around that time in history. He cast his eyes over to her, watching her build what looked like a small shrine and presenting the herbs on it as if to the gods. She also waved some smoke around the room with a feather and laid crystals in the corners of the room. He returned back to his search for something from his new life.

"These items should have significance for you Stefan." She said and he nodded and looked to the Spitfire.

Yes, that was the one. He lifted it and laid the book and it beside her shrine. She nodded and reached out to him for his wrist as she pulled a dagger from her belt. He handed it to her and she sliced a long cut, holding his wrist over a chalice on the table to collect it. She gave it back to him and he rubbed it on his jeans as it healed.

"Now, payment for this spell will be $200." She said pointedly and he blinked in surprise.

"Uh…"

"Do you have $200?"

"Yes, I just thought you would want something else. Something…witchy." He admitted, blushing and she stared at him blankly.

He blushed again at her lack of humour and moved to his kitchen to pick out his rent money. He'd figure out how to replace it later. He pulled out $200 and handed it to her, sitting down across from her.

"A spell of this magnitude requires concentration and honesty Stefan. Are you prepared?"

He nodded.

"I will use a trance-like state to access your memories and then seal them off from your conscious mind permanently. It may hurt." She warned and he swallowed and nodded. "Are you ready to begin?"

"Uh, my friend Bonnie, she's coming over to be with me." He said, feeling more and more anxious, the longer she remained clinical and she eyed him suspiciously.

"This isn't show and tell Stefan. I will not have other vampires here."

"No she's not a vampire, she's a witch too, or at least she used to be one…it's a long story." He babbled and Iman grew more irritated. "She wanted to be here to…"

"I am here to do a job Stefan. I don't make fraternising with vampires a habit. I'm here as a favour to my god son. Now do you want me to conduct this spell or not?" She asked bluntly and he exhaled.

He was perplexed by her continuing attitude and he could see that she was irritated by him. Clearly she was disgusted by vampires. If this was going to happen it would have to be now. If Bonnie arrived she could surely just enter and sit and watch.

"Ok." He croaked.

She nodded and took the chalice of his blood, beginning to chant quietly and he sat back in his chair. As she continued chanting he felt fuzzy, almost like when he'd drank from Leyla when she'd been stoned. He blinked heavily a few times but gave up and closed his eyes, sinking back into the couch.

It was a strange feeling. He almost felt as though he was under water. Under water! He threw himself forward in the chair gasping, eyes wide open in alarm and Iman stopped in shock. He panted and looked around, remembering he was safe at home and she raised an eyebrow.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't like it! I'm afraid of water." He explained and she chewed her lip for a moment as she formulated a plan.

"If you won't be hypnotised, you may have to seal off your memories on your own."

"No, please, I need your help!" He panicked and she put a hand out towards him to calm him.

"I will conduct the spell as you go into your own mind and block what you don't want to remember. My intention was to do that for you, but I can't if you won't be hypnotised." She explained and he exhaled and nodded in understanding. "Now, close your eyes and relax. Sit back. I will talk you through the process."

He obeyed, trying to relax again but he still felt unnerved by the last time.

"I want you to imagine that you are in a room full of doors. In each one, a section of your old life. You will need to enter each room and ensure you know which parts of your memory you are closing forever before you lock that door."

"Isn't this still hypnosis?" He opened one eye to look at her and she sighed annoyed.

"No. I will bind your intention with magic so that once you close those doors, they will remain closed permanently no matter how much you may want to open them in future."

He swallowed nervously and closed his eyes again.

"Perhaps you should consider this more. There will be no turning back." She warned and her words made him feel even more afraid. "Tell me, why are you doing this?"

He opened his eyes again and looked to her. She seemed calm and genuinely interested.

"I like who I am now." He said and she continued to search his face. "The person I was, was dangerous. His life was a mess."

"Removing memory of that life won't delete that life. Whatever your situation or problems were, you still have to deal with them eventually because the others around you still remember."

"I've moved on from it all and they understand that." He shook his head.

"If your reason for this isn't strong enough Stefan, sound enough, this might not work on your end. What is your real reason?" She probed.

"Love." He whispered, feeling himself become emotional and she nodded. "If I turn back into that other person, I will lose the person I love."

"Why?"

"Because he was a sibling to the other me. He finally sees me as who I am now and he's laid his brother to rest. If I remember, it'll all come back and he won't love me the same way anymore."

She sat back in her chair, looking a little surprised, but not revolted so that was a good start. His heart beat loudly in his ears as he waited for her to speak in some kind of judgement.

"Ok." She said finally, with a gentleness to her voice that was new. "Close your eyes."

He closed them and took a deep breath.

"Picture those doors in your mind. You will have to open them for a few seconds to ensure they are not memories of this life you, that you want to keep."

He nodded and imagined he was standing in a hallway. He looked to the door nervously, surprised when he realised they were the wooden doors of the boarding house rooms. How quaint. She began to chant softly and he reached for the first handle, opening the door. He felt sick, terrified of wiping important memories now that he was doing this. He had to make sure he didn't lock away anything from this life.

The door opened and he walked into a room – it was his room at the boarding house. Stefan Salvatore's room. He stopped and stared in horror as he watched a few seconds of his former self making love to Elena. He ran out of the room and locked the door. So it had been true. He hadn't actually believed it till he saw it. He looked around and the hallway seemed to stretch on forever. There was a lot of stuff in here. Why was it all available to him now when it hadn't been before?

"Focus." Iman said and he returned to his purpose.

He reached for the next door and peeked in this time, shutting the door quickly when he saw a room filled with blood and bodies. He locked it and pressed his forehead against the door as he caught his breath. The ripper. This was the ripper room. Clearly each room had an aspect of his life. Now he'd closed the Elena door too. He had to find the Damon room and lock it up tight forever. He didn't want to remember him as a brother either. He began searching for it, coming across some rooms filled with people and events that intrigued him – one girl with blonde hair and a friendly smile. He'd stopped and watched her for a moment.

Lexi. His best friend? He could feel a stir in his chest as he watched them at a gig. Bon Jovi – of course! No wonder Damon had freaked. He almost didn't want to close this door. It felt like a good place, full of friendship and love. Where was Lexi now? Why hadn't she come to see him? He began to tear himself away, regretting the decision to lock the door as he left, when he heard her scream. He turned back around in surprise to see Damon standing behind her with a stake through her heart.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35 TNB

"No!" He shouted and moved forward as Lexi gasped and tearfully asked Damon why.

Damon was so calm, so collected and causal about it as she fell to a heap, dead. He began to shake and looked at him, ashen faced as Damon brushed himself down as though she had been nothing. His heart clenched and he felt bile rise in his throat. This was the Damon he'd read about – the evil one who had set out to destroy his brother's life. They'd talked about that time and it wasn't as if this side of Damon's past was new to him, but still, seeing it played out before him…how could Damon be the same person? How could his Damon whisper such words of love to him but be capable of this? Lexi was his best friend – Stefan Salvatore's best friend. How could Damon do it? If he could do it to his own brother, whom Stefan knew he had loved – it had been so evident during their whole relationship how much Damon loved his brother, it had caused them endless problems and heartache and yet…

He ran from the door and slammed it behind him as he felt on the verge of tears.

"Damon. Damon." He choked and he heard Iman talking again.

"Keep going Stefan." She advised and he choked again. "Do you want to stop?"

"No." He whispered and saw himself standing in the hallway again.

He turned and locked the door he'd just come away from. He didn't know how to feel about it but he knew he certainly didn't want to remember it. Let it remain a page on the journals he'd read. Damon would explain it later, he knew Damon would be able to explain.

He soldiered on, through rooms filled with wars, love affairs, more ripper horror and then he saw Damon again. He leant against the door, terrified of seeing more horror when he realised Damon was dying. He was near death and dressed in old fashioned clothes. He moved forwards and sat nearby as he watched him curiously. Was Damon human? Stefan Salvatore appeared, drunk and covered in blood and Stefan stood up and backed away. Why did he want to watch? He was supposed to be going in, checking and then locking the door. Why was he staying to watch some of these?

He watched in surprise at his other self trying to coax and force Damon into becoming a vampire. How much more like his lover, this human Damon seemed. It oddly made him feel better, until his other self forced him to become a demon and he growled. Stefan Salvatore ruins things again. Damon had been innocent, human and dying and he'd forced him! He moved with his teeth barred when he realised they were unaware of him completely and he couldn't touch them. He watched as Damon slowly became the monster version. He left the room saddened and angry and locked it behind him. That memory was between the two of them and he didn't want it. For a ghost of a second he pondered on it though. He'd felt it – the brotherhood between them. He thought when he'd seen it, it would make him afraid and resistant but instead he felt awed.

He and Damon had something special, but clearly Damon and his brother had shared something very different but equally powerful. If only he could have both feelings without it ruining their future together.

He moved towards a room which had a red door. The door itself seemed to glow almost as though it was alive and he regarded it carefully for a few seconds. He opened it and stepped inside.

This was Damon's room.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"God dammit Bonnie!" Damon growled as they raced his car towards Stefan's apartment. "Why the hell didn't you call me this afternoon?!"

"You have no phone remember?" She shouted back at him and he gripped the steering wheel tight.

"What the hell is he thinking?!"

"He wants to keep you, that's what he's thinking! He thinks this is the solution."

Damon shook his head, tortured as she looked over at him. He was sweating and slamming his hands down on the steering wheel as he growled agitated.

"What'll happen if he does this?" He looked over at her and she swallowed.

"I don't know."

"Oh, come on Bonnie! You're supposed to be a goddamn witch so witch it up!" He snapped and she gritted her teeth and exhaled.

"He's messing with his brain, it's chemistry. If he's not careful about what he tries to block he could block things that make him who he is now, or he might erase everything, or…"

"Or?" He butt in.

"Or he might remember everything too."

"What?" He frowned.

"The mind is a complex thing Damon. Your brain finds ways of overcoming your subconscious barriers – that's what it's started doing and it will continue. The only thing that would stop your brain doing that is brain damage."

He gaped at her in horror.

"He'd heal." He almost vomited at the thought of Stefan's precious brain being damaged in any way.

"Not if there's magical involvement. Even you guys are affected by that." She pointed out and he looked to the road again full of intention as he hammered the speed even more to the limit.

Within 3 minutes they were there and he blurred from the car before she even had her seat belt off.

"Damon no!" She shouted, quickly trying to run after him as he disappeared inside. "If you stop it, it might be worse!" She shouted, knowing he'd hear her.

She ran inside and up the stairs, hearing commotion as she reached the top and moved inside. Damon was screaming and on the floor holding his head as Iman held her hand out towards him. She looked to Bonnie and raised her hand too, but Bonnie opened her bag and held up her grimoire. The witch looked at her in surprise and lowered her hands as Damon groaned and collapsed in a heap.

"Who are you?"

"Bonnie Bennett." Bonnie held her chin up proudly and the witch almost gaped.

"A Bennett witch? I thought they were all gone."

"I was the last one." Bonnie said with authority and Iman gave a brief nod. "What kind of spell are you doing?" She flicked her eyes over to the form of Stefan who looked like he was hypnotised.

"He's sealing off the doors in his mind and I am binding them with his blood and energy from both lives."

"Doors? Is there a thread between the ones he's closing?" Bonnie frowned and Damon got to his knees and looked over to Stefan.

"Thread?" Iman raised an eyebrow and Bonnie felt her anxiety levels increase by 100%.

"Most memories are threaded together like a tapestry. You can't just cut out some without the others connected to them unravelling. How much has he done?" She asked urgently.

"He made the choice to close the ones he did." Iman said simply and Bonnie clenched her jaw and sat down, opening her grimoire.

"You will help me undo this before his whole mind collapses." She commanded and Iman flared her nostrils indignantly.

Damon gathered himself and moved to Stefan, pulling him into his lap as he stroked the hair from his face.

"You're the brother." Iman said, watching him and he scowled at her.

"I'm his partner."

"And his brother. You should really have left him alone. His desperation to maintain your relationship drove him to this." She commented and Bonnie cleared her throat in command for Iman to sit with her and look over the grimoire.

Damon swallowed hard and looked down at Stefan's face again.

"Stefan?" He whispered.

"He's in his mind, awaiting my instructions." Iman interrupted.

"Wake him."

"I don't think he will heed me. His intent was clear." She advised.

"Stefan don't do this." He whispered. "Don't change who you are."

He placed a small kiss on his lips and closed his eyes tight whilst Bonnie tried to figure out how to put the spell in reverse.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stefan had watched Damon kill his friends, steal his girlfriend, beat and torture him. He'd seen the depths of a depraved and evil soul. He sat shivering, unable to move as more of it played out before him. Where was his gentle, loving Damon who had such a big heart? The Damon who'd saved him, rescued him and cared for him. Suddenly Ripper Stefan wasn't the only villain in here.

"Stefan…don't change who you are." He heard Damon's voice and reflexively held himself.

That voice, spoken in such rage and hatred in this room. How could it sound so full of love at the same time? Was it all just a game? Was Damon some kind of sociopath? Did he really feel emotions? Maybe Stefan offering a clean slate had spurred on his ability to feel, or maybe he was capable of flipping backwards and forwards. Damon had a bite to his manner sometimes. He was sharp witted and clever. He could manipulate when he wanted to and now that he'd seen it, Stefan Salvatore didn't seem like such an asshole anymore. He was still a sorry excuse for a man, but at least he was understandable now.

Stefan couldn't relate to either of these men. Both Salvatore's had done monstrous things and hurt people, especially each other. Maybe neither of them deserved to be remembered. He stood up resolutely. He'd lock this door forever and the old Damon would die with the old Stefan. There was symmetry to that idea. Close the door on both of these people and let all of the shit they'd done to each other disappear into the void while he and his Damon – the one who would never hurt him and would love him like he had been, could really start fresh.

He exited the room and closed the door, taking a deep breath.

"Stefan." Bonnie's voice. "Stefan don't lock any more doors, do you understand?"

He paused, confused and waited, the lock on the door in front of him pulsing red now too. This door was alive.

"We have to reverse the spell or it could harm your brain." She added and he held tight.

No, he didn't want to reverse anything! He'd seen so much horror and if he didn't finish the spell then he'd remember all of this in full Technicolor. What he had seen today was bad enough without actually remembering it. He was still an outsider to the emotions involved in these memories so it was easier for him to be objective when locking them away, but if he remembered them happening to him…he couldn't take feeling like that.

He shook his head and reached for the lock on the door.

"Stefan, you need to wake up and come back to us. Damon is here."

No. He had to be strong. He had to get through this. He had to seal Stefan and Damon Salvatore off forever.

"No. Got to get rid of bad Damon." He said out loud.

"Stefan no!" Damon shouted.

He twisted the lock, sealing it off when he felt the door pushed outwards, bulging towards him. He stepped back in fear as lots of voices filled his mind.

Iman was chanting again and it was so noisy he put his hands over his ears.

"Stefan if you lock old Damon away you will erase him!"

"I know!" He shouted, grunting in pain as his head began to throb.

"You'll forget all of him! Everything!" She shouted desperately and Stefan panicked.

If he sealed off the Damon room forever, he'd erase Damon completely from his memory? Everything? Even…even from now? He grabbed the lock on the door, fighting to open it again but it wouldn't move. He started to shout and scream in frustration as the door bulged and grew hot in his hands.

"Damon! Damon!" He screamed now, frantic and teary.

It seemed like everyone was screaming and suddenly the door burst open and threw him with such force that he was propelled back into his body again and flew up from the couch into Damon's embrace as he screamed. Damon held him, sobbing, as he gasped for air and looked around wildly. Bonnie and Iman were searching his face acutely.

"Stefan?" Bonnie asked and he nodded as he put his arms around Damon's weeping form.

He hadn't seen Damon cry like this before. He rubbed his back soothingly to calm him down, even though he himself was wound up so tight he felt claustrophobic at their presence.

"Do you know who I am?" Bonnie asked and he felt his body grow fuzzy. "Stefan?"

"I…" He mumbled, swaying a little as he tried to focus and Damon pulled back in fear and held him as he passed out.

"Stefan! Stefan?" Damon cried out and cradled his head as he spoke to him. "What's happening?!" Damon shouted at the women and Bonnie stood up and touched Stefan's face lightly.

"Did you reverse it?" Damon asked her, staring at her wide eyed and she sighed and looked to Iman.

Of course. Bonnie couldn't reverse it. She wasn't a witch anymore. She'd been making Iman reverse it. So had she?

"I tried. We will have to wait and see when he wakes up." Iman said and Damon lay Stefan's head against his shoulder and embraced him.

"This is my fault." He croaked and Iman rose to collect her things.

She stepped over to them and placed her hand on Stefan's head as Damon watched her expression.

"You should have let us continue. Under my guidance he would have been ok." She said and Bonnie crossed her arms.

"It's not your job to mess with the natural order. That's not our job. You didn't account for his memories being connected together with his current thought processes and it's probably caused his brain to shortcut." Bonnie accused.

"You're how old Bonnie? When you've lived as long as I have and had to fight just to keep yourself alive, from vampires who would use your power as they saw fit, then you might think a little differently about taking what you need from them for a change. I have a family to feed. You'd be surprised how quickly your morals leave you when your children are hungry."

Bonnie was speechless. She blushed, feeling like a child but kept her face straight. No matter what the reasons, interfering with someone's mind with magic was not acceptable. Not when it was how things were supposed to be. Stefan just had to let himself come to terms with the facts about his life. He couldn't run forever.

"I can remove your problem for you." Damon growled, his teeth bared. "You don't have to have anyone to feed if I find your family."

She snorted at his anger and threat and stepped back boldly.

"Control yourself demon. You might have bigger problems than me. Who knows what damage you have done to his brain by forcing the end to this spell. He might not know you when he wakes up. Perhaps that would be the best thing for him."

Damon looked down at Stefan's face worriedly as he lay limp against him. He looked to Bonnie and she sighed and put her face in her hands.

"Bonnie?"

"I don't know Damon. We don't know what he did before we got here." She said sadly and he shook his head in disbelief.

"No." He whispered and pulled Stefan into his arms as he stood and carried him to their bedroom.

He lay him on the bed gently and curled around him, holding him to him so he could see his face.

"I can't lose you both. Not both of you." Damon whispered as tears filled his eyes. "Not both of you." He chanted, rocking their bodies back and forth as he clung to Stefan's body.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36 TNB

Damon held him for hours, unwilling to leave him for even a second as the minutes ticked past and Stefan remained unconscious. He appeared to simply be asleep but Damon could tell from the rapid eye movement behind his eyelids that his brain was in overdrive, trying to process what was happening. The guilt was crippling. Had it been his freak out over the song that had forced Stefan to take such drastic action? Maybe. It was ironic to recall that it had been he who had been the most afraid of what would happen if he remembered, when Stefan had always vowed that he would still love him. Now they seemed to have swapped roles.

Bonnie had left with the other witch in tow. He'd find out where she lived later and eat her family. That'd serve the bitch right for giving Stefan a lobotomy. Even Bonnie had looked capable of bringing down some harsh joo joo on the woman. He'd always thought Bonnie was an annoying OCD witch – bent on always doing everything right and over exaggerating her responsibility to magic, but now he saw her for what she was – a true good witch. Even in her hate for him she'd never used magic maliciously for her own gain. She'd burst a few brain cells and set him on fire a few times, but she'd never have screwed with his brain, his mind – the thing that made him who he was. She would never. He was so grateful for that now. Magic really was the big responsibility that she'd preached.

As the hours passed he gave in to sleep himself, resting with his arm around Stefan's body, holding them close together. Stefan stirred in his arms, rousing him and he leant up on his elbow, his heart racing, as he stroked the side of his face. Stefan leaned into the touch and he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his mouth. Stefan kissed back and opened his eyes sleepily.

"Hey." Damon said softly, still stroking through his hair as Stefan searched his face as though he was trying to place him.

Damon's stomach clenched in anticipation.

"Hey." Stefan's tone was strange and his pupils widened as he searched Damon's face.

"Stefan, please tell me you know who I am." Damon begged.

Stefan pulled away from him slightly and Damon removed his hold on him as he tried not to panic. Stefan didn't take his eyes from his as he licked his lips, remaining silent.

"Stefan?" Damon was losing control of his vocal chords as fear filled him. "Do you know me?"

"I'm not sure." Stefan admitted and Damon exhaled in pain and bit into his bottom lip. "I'm not sure I do know you."

Damon closed his eyes and clenched his fists into the blanket beneath them.

"Who are you?" Stefan whispered, shaking his head and Damon exhaled again and swallowed bile. "Are you my brother, my enemy or the love of my life Damon?"

Damon opened his eyes and looked at him in surprise at the use of his name. Stefan searched his face, still acting strangely despite the fact that he obviously knew who he was.

"All of the above." Damon replied shakily.

"I saw things, terrible things you did." Stefan was so calm as he spoke.

Damon sat silently, waiting for Stefan to crush him or punch him.

"What did you do?" Damon asked gravely.

"I saw things, memories."

"How much do you remember?" Damon asked nervously and Stefan studied his face.

"I saw you. The person you were. The person you are underneath."

Damon paled and clenched his jaw.

"This is who I am." He said.

"I'm not so sure anymore." Stefan shook his head and Damon clenched his jaw again. "The person I love couldn't be so cruel."

Damon sat up slowly and rubbed his face feeling exhausted as Stefan kept a safe distance from him.

"I've done a lot of things Stef. I've been different. My brother was the same and there were times we hated each other and times we bonded again. The longer you live as vampire, the more you'll understand that." Damon advised and Stefan searched his face desperately, looking for some kind of resemblance to the monster he'd seen in his head.

"Will you ever hurt me?" He asked and Damon looked at him distressed and in shock. "You loved him but some of the things you did…"

"I was different!" Damon spoke through hurt instead of anger. "Things were different and he isn't you."

"I saw you two together. You loved each other."

"Not like I love you. Nothing like I love you Stef." Damon reached his hand towards him but Stefan pulled back and he paused.

"I'd never hurt you." He whispered and Stefan looked down to avoid his eyes. "You've made me better."

Stefan looked up at him at his comment. Damon's eyes were full and vulnerable.

"Sometimes I get lost in my head and I hate it. I hate everyone and everything. It's been easier to let myself feel that way than long for something, anything, to make me feel whole again. Then, there was you."

"I was always here." Stefan croaked and Damon shook his head.

"No. You came into my life when I thought I'd lost everything. When I opened that safe I expected the same as before - guilt, blame, anger…instead you, you loved me."

Stefan sat listening attentively as Damon struggled to find the words.

"You showed me that I could choose. That there was still some chance for happiness outside of my bubble and you led me there. This is who I really am. It's who I want to be Stefan and that's all because of you."

"I saw you human. I saw you dying." Stefan mumbled, frowning as he realised that he'd tried to lock that door. "You were like you are now. You were gentle. You loved me until I forced you to feed."

Damon tensed at his causal reference to himself as his brother. Clearly it had slipped Stefan's attention that he was doing so other than speaking in the third person like he had since he had began to talk after his rescue. It was unnerving.

"You make me human now." Damon said and Stefan softened as he looked at him. "You make me more than I was."

"I want to believe you." Stefan gave a small smile and lay back down facing him.

Damon lay down too, a safe distance from him as they looked at each other.

"What would have happened if I'd been him when you rescued me?"

Damon's eyes glazed as he thought on that idea.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I'd have tried to make it right I guess."

"Would he have blamed you?"

"Probably deep down."

"And when you feel like people do that, you do things to get back at them?" Stefan asked, honestly trying to understand and Damon frowned.

"I'd never hurt you."

"Even if I fuck up? If I make you angry, or we fight?"

Damon looked at him, tense. He didn't know how to answer. He couldn't make those promises. People always hurt each other in those situations – it was human nature and vampire nature amplified that. Stefan waited for a response for a few seconds before he turned onto his back and looked up at the ceiling.

"My head hurts." He sighed. "Too many versions of you in here."

"You only need one. This one." Damon said gently. "The one that wants to marry you."

Stefan looked over at him in surprise.

"You said no."

"That was before I thought you might disappear into your brain. Perspective."

Stefan searched his face and Damon grew nervous at how out in the open his heart was right now.

"You'd marry your brother?"

"You're not my brother. Are you?" Damon asked nervously.

"No." Stefan sighed and Damon sagged in relief. "I don't know."

Damon held still, completely still and waiting as Stefan looked up to the ceiling again.

"I'm afraid of you."

"What can I do?" Damon asked, his throat tight and Stefan looked at him sadly as he considered it.

"Remind me who you are."

Damon nodded and moved a little closer, reaching out to touch his face and this time Stefan allowed it, looking into Damon's eyes as he stroked through his hair and searched his face. Stefan closed his eyes and leaned into him, making Damon pull him into him and hold him, rubbing his back gently.

"You said that you were born that day I rescued you from the safe." Damon kissed his shoulder and spoke, muffled by the fabric of Stefan's t-shirt and Stefan nodded and held him back. "I think I was too. It just took me a little longer to let go of my old life."

Stefan pulled back and cupped his face.

"I want the old Stefan and Damon to be gone and forgotten about. Let's be two new people."

"Who we were is still important Stef. It's our journey to be who we are now. We can't forget them."

"So we don't forget, but we let them go." Stefan suggested and Damon gave a small smile.

"Ok."

"Make love to me." Stefan whispered and Damon gave a shy smile that Stefan had never seen before.

They leaned towards each other and kissed deeply and slowly. The tension in their bodies releasing with each caress and kiss of love. Each kiss was like a new promise – to start together, again, fresh, free and completely. Damon climbed on top of him and ran his hand down his back, to his bottom and squeezed. He loved Stefan's body. He knew just how to please him now and he wanted to give him peace. He made it slow, sliding his hands inside of his clothing, to his skin and caressing there as they kissed. Stefan shivered and sighed into his mouth. He wanted to make this good, not too quick, so he made sure not to touch Stefan's manhood at all for a while, concentrating on his skin and the feel of his muscles in his torso. He traced his fingertips over the gooseflesh delicately and pushed Stefan's jeans down finally freeing him. Stefan lifted his hips and Damon pulled the jeans down and off of his legs completely.

Stefan lay back, watching him with huge pupils and flushed cheeks. Normally Damon loved to make sarky comments or to growl or something at this stage of arousal but for a change he couldn't summon it. He felt shy. That was a new feeling. His hands shook slightly and Stefan noticed as Damon removed his own clothes at the end of the bed. Stefan cooked his head as he watched.

Once Damon was naked, he climbed back up to Stefan's mouth again and began to kiss with a little more heat. Stefan tilted up into him, allowing Damon to unbutton his shirt with one hand as he cupped his bottom with the other, holding Stefan as close to him as possible during the process.

"Lick me again?" Stefan sighed, unbelievably aroused as Damon came up for air. "Down there?" He hinted towards his entrance and Damon gave a wide grin.

He descended down to his hips and lifted his legs apart and tilted them slightly so he could have enough room and accesss. Stefan fisted the sheets beneath him excitedly and Damon chuckled before he flicked his tongue over the small vulnerable opening. Stefan immediately shivered and clenched his fists. He made slow work of it, teasing him to within an inch of his life as Stefan writhed and moaned. Who needed lubrication? Damon enjoyed every minute of it, coating him and easing his tongue in until Stefan climaxed on himself and shouted.

"Amazing, amazing!" Stefan panted and Damon kissed his knee as he came back up to look at his face.

"I want you." Stefan panted and Damon raised an eyebrow.

Before Damon could joke about the fact that he'd probably need a few minutes, Stefan was up and on him, knocking him on his back and biting his neck. Damon submitted and hummed. Stefan drank a little to relax him and then decided to try giving Damon's entrance some attention. He moved down and tried to copy Damon's technique but as Damon began to sigh in pleasure, he couldn't contain himself or wait so he sat up, opening his legs wider and entered him. Damon tilted his chin up and exhaled and Stefan leaned his hands on either side of his shoulder so they could kiss as he moved within him. They got carried away, moaning and grasping at each other and Damon climaxed under him, red faced and crying out. No pillow. Stefan gave a small laugh of realisation that Damon was unaware of its absence, as he writhed and panted.

"No pillow!" Stefan gasped and froze as he emptied inside of him in bliss and happiness.

Damon chuckled when he realised and held him as he slumped onto his chest breathing. They lay for a while catching their breath as Stefan tucked his head under Damon's chin and curled around him. Damon looked up at the ceiling, stroking his back gently as he thought on how lucky he was that Stefan had gotten through this. He couldn't have taken it, if his Stefan had been ripped away from him forever. There was no one in the world like him. Stefan gave a small groan of discomfort and shivered.

"My head is pounding."

"That'll serve you right for trying to give yourself a witch lobotomy." Damon reprimanded gently and Stefan snuggled his face into Damon's neck. "Don't ever mess with your brain again."

Stefan nodded and cringed at the pain, Damon pulling back from him and frowning as he checked his pupils. Stefan rubbed at his temples.

"Time for some Tylenol." Damon suggested and Stefan looked at him confused. "Pain killers." Damon added and Stefan nodded.

"I take it you don't have any?" Damon raised an eyebrow and Stefan shook his head. "Ok, lie down. I'll go get some."

"Don't leave me." Stefan grabbed his arm.

He'd never had a headache before and it was so unpleasant. Damon kissed his forehead and lay him down.

"I'll be right back. Just rest your eyes."

Damon jumped out of the bed and blurred out of the apartment as Stefan lay down and tried to regulate his breathing. He felt awful – sick, hot and full of pain. Damon would make it go away. He felt the urge to vomit grow and he dashed out of bed and vomited into the toilet, groaning. It was a macabre sight of blood down the pan. He flushed and held onto the walls as he made his way to the kitchen for water. He stood, supporting himself on the countertop as he poured a glass and took a sip.

The water helped a little and the urge to vomit again dissipated. The pain remained however and it made his eyes go fuzzy. He moved to sit in his chair when he lost his coordination and collapsed onto the floor. His glass of water covered him and he blinked groggily as he watched the glass roll away across the carpet.

"Damon…" He mumbled and closed his eyes.

Damon jumped out of the car and headed back up to him. It had been a while since painkillers had worked on him. He usually just went for either more blood or morphine when in pain as his vampire constitution generally burned up any painkillers too quickly. Still, it might work for Stefan for a while until they could feed. He wanted to make sure that things were right between them before they tried to get back to their lives.

He ascended the stairs, opening the lounge door and stopped in surprise when he saw Stefan looking at the bookshelves with his back turned to him.

"Feeling better?" He asked and Stefan turned around.

"Damon?"

"Expecting someone else?" Damon chuckled but frowned when he saw confusion on Stefan's face. "What's wrong?"

Damon crossed the room and reached out to hold him.

"Where the hell are we?"


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37 TNB

"Huh?" Damon frowned and cupped his face in concern and Stefan squinted at him a little and moved out of his touch. "Stef?" Damon swallowed a lump in his throat.

"What's going on? Where are we? Where's Silas?" Stefan backed away to increase his personal space as Damon looked at him as though he was an alien.

"Silas?" Damon mumbled, getting paler by the second as the realisation of what was happening began to sink in. "Stefan?"

"What's wrong with you?" Stefan frowned and Damon stepped backwards and knocked into the back of the sofa.

Stefan watched as Damon appeared to hyperventilate and stare at him in horror, before falling into an armchair and staring at the wall blankly.

"Of course." Stefan sighed and nodded. "I'm hallucinating again."

Damon didn't seem to hear him as his eyes continued to grow large and full of fear. Stefan moved around the sofa and took a seat next to him casually.

"Better than the alternative I suppose." He commented dryly and looked at Damon again. "So you are the part of my psyche that's still afraid huh? Figured I'd see my own body, not my brother's. He normally plays the asshole version or…or himself. Guess there's not too much difference." He joked and shook his head, but Damon still didn't respond.

Stefan sat forward, clasping his hands and waiting for a response from him. When he didn't get one, he clapped his hands loudly to get his attention.

"Hey! You're supposed to be keeping my mind off of this."

Damon looked at him and then down at his hands as he tried to pull himself together.

"You're not hallucinating brother. You're out of the safe now." He managed to utter, but his throat was dry and raw with emotion and Stefan blinked several times as he listened and thought it over.

"Nice tactic, but I've had this one already. It doesn't help me feel any better. Move on."

Damon exhaled and stood up, staggering towards the kitchen counter as Stefan watched him. He reached into a cupboard and pulled a bottle of bourbon out, ripping off the lid with shaking hands as he put it to his lips and drank a few gulpfuls. He panted, stared at the wall again and Stefan stood up.

"I can't remember the taste of bourbon." Stefan commented and walked towards him, reaching out for the bottle as Damon eyed him warily.

He reached out and Damon stepped back, almost cringing at the thought of physical contact between them and Stefan let out a surprised laugh.

"My hallucination, my bourbon. Give it over."

"I am not a hallucination!" Damon shouted at him fiercely, making him jump in surprise as Damon's eyes filled with tears and he panted like a cornered animal.

Stefan held his hands up passively and took a step back as a tear fell down Damon's cheek. He frowned. This was the weirdest hallucination ever. It was so real. Damon kept his eyes on him as he drank more from the bottle. Stefan took a seat in one of the bar stools and folded his arms. Damon wiped his mouth with his arm and reached into his pocket. His hands were shaking profusely now and he almost dropped the cell as he typed in Elena's number.

"Elena." He croaked, barely sounding sane. "Get over here now. Stefan Salvatore is back."

Stefan frowned as he heard Elena gasp on the other end of the line and hang up without speaking. What the hell was going on here? He felt a prickle on the back of his neck as he considered it. Could this be real?

"What's happening?" He asked and Damon huffed and began to drink again, each gulpful growing in size as he did, until Stefan reached over and grabbed the bottle from him fiercely, as his heart began to flutter. "Damon!"

Damon gasped and moved further away from him again.

"You've had amnesia." He blurted out and Stefan stared at him like he was stupid.

"I've had what?"

"I found you…got you out of the safe, but you…you didn't…" He stuttered and Stefan stood alarmed and took a step towards him.

Damon shrank back and backed into the fridge, making it groan as it rocked.

"You found me? This is real?"

Damon nodded and squeezed his eyes closed.

"What's the matter with you?" Stefan snapped irritated by his continuing strangeness and Damon looked at him again.

He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down. He had to calm down and figure out how to deal with this. He couldn't think about anything other than explaining what was happening. He shouldn't, because he had to keep his head in the game. If he let himself contemplate what this all meant right now, he'd crumble. He'd crumble. He'd crumble. He sucked in a breath.

"Where was I?" Stefan asked commandingly.

"Lake."

"How long was I in there and why don't I remember anything?"

"A year."

"A year?!" Stefan shouted in horror and Damon's eyes glazed over. "It took you a year to find me?"

"Yes."

Stefan made a strangled sound somewhere between anger, pain and disbelief and Damon looked down at the floor.

"Amnesia?" Stefan sat back down on the stool. "How long for? Where am I?"

"Home."

"What?"

"Your place. Or it was…Stef's place."

"What are you babbling about? Why are you calling me by my whole name to Elena? Damon, what the fuck is happening?!"

"You've been different. When I got you out, you didn't know me by then. You didn't want to be you."

"What?"

"You…wanted to start again. He wanted to start again."

"You're freaking me out with this Damon. I am me. One person, right here!" He put his hand on his chest to demonstrate and Damon swallowed bile. "Did I lose my mind or something?"

"No." Damon frowned almost angrily and Stefan huffed. "You didn't want to remember, so you became someone else."

"And you let me move out and give up my life?" Stefan asked angry with incredulity.

"I didn't let you do anything!" He snapped. "I tried to help you, we all did but you made it clear you were someone new. You threw it all away so you could start again. You moved out, you got a job, made friends, made a life for yourself…" Damon began to rant heatedly and Stefan gaped the longer he spoke.

"A life? Are you kidding me?! You just gave up on me remembering?"

"You were gone! You were gone and he was here instead and after no amount of fighting and hating that we did to each other changed anything, I accepted it was what you wanted. What he wanted." Damon gritted his teeth at his inability to be coherent enough and separate the two of them.

Stefan got up and moved into the lounge again as he tried to get his head around everything he was hearing.

"So…" He exhaled and looked around the room. "I just, wiped everything away and started my life again? Here, in this place?"

"Yes." Damon mumbled.

"So why are you here?" He turned to look at him accusingly and Damon wilted and closed his eyes, leaning back into the fridge for support. "What, are we friends or something?"

Damon didn't answer and it made Stefan madder.

"You're not my brother if you accepted that I was not who I am, so what the hell are you doing here? Can't imagine you'd still be trying to change my mind back. You don't do emotional scenes well brother." He was so angry and resentful that Damon could have let this happen.

It almost felt as though some imposter had had his body and Damon had allowed it to happen instead of fighting for his brother to heal and come back to his life. All of them must have, otherwise he wouldn't be here in this strange place, wearing clothes he'd never seen before. He looked down at himself, noticing his state of upheaval. Clearly he'd been in the midst of dressing or sleeping or something, because his clothes had been thrown on rather unmeticulously. He looked over at Damon again.

"What's wrong with you? Not happy to see me? Prefer the other one did you?" He hissed accusingly and Damon clenched his jaw and shot him a look of fury.

"Fuck you, brother." He growled and Stefan gaped in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me?! You fucking left me in a safe for a year and then you let me ride a magical mystery tour! Now I'm back and you're standing there like someone's died! Fuck you, Damon. Fuck you!" He roared and flew at him across the room.

He lay into him, punching and tumbling to the ground with him as Damon tried to hold him back. He wasn't fighting like usual. Stefan growled in rage and beat him to a pulp beneath him, before Damon kicked him backwards off of him and rolled over to wipe blood from his face. Stefan stood up panting harshly and frowned. What was going on with him? He'd just let Stefan beat the crap out of him and he hadn't fought back.

"I always knew you were a sadistic, self involved bastard, but even this is low for you!" He was foaming at the mouth and Damon sighed and continued to wipe his face with his arm. "Where's my cell?!"

Damon grunted at the effort to sit up and tilted his head towards the lounge. He marched into the room again and looked around. There was a cell phone sitting beside the sofa on a coffee table. As he swept towards it, he knocked the table and an ornament fell onto the floor. He grunted, picking the small plane up and shoving it back on the table without a second glance as Damon stood up and watched him weakly. He grabbed the cell and scrutinised it. It wasn't his old one, it was new. So his other self hadn't even wanted his goddamn cell phone? Screw him.

"Where are we?" He growled as he typed a message to Caroline, surprised to see that she was in his address book.

Damon mumbled the name of the small town that had been their haven and Stefan huffed, shaking his head.

"I'm going home, right now. You're all going to explain to me exactly what the hell has been happening around here."

Damon didn't respond. Stefan popped the cell into his jeans when he realised he should shower and dress properly. He marched through to the bedroom and paused. The bed had clearly seen some carnal activity. The whole room smelled of sex. Perhaps he had a girlfriend in this life or could it be..? Elena was on her way over. Were they…maybe..? Then again, he wasn't sure he liked that idea. After all, that other person hadn't really been him. Would she have gone out with him in the vain hope that he might remember again? Or did she like this other guy enough too that she'd abandoned the idea of getting him back? He shook off his irritation for the moment and stripped his clothing onto the floor. He moved to what appeared to be a bathroom and jumped into the shower, looking around for all of the products he normally used.

There was nothing familiar except some cologne at the sink. Damon's normal brand. Weird. He washed quickly, feeling claustrophobic with the enormity of how strange and unfamiliar everything was. He quickly dried off and went back into the bedroom. His first instinct was to open the windows and clear the room of the smell of sex, but then why bother? This wasn't his place and he had no intention of continuing whatever weird version of a life had begun here. He went to a dresser and opened it, looking for some clothes when he pulled some jeans out and looked at them. They looked like Damon jeans.

"What?" He mumbled in confusion and lay them aside, pulling some more out.

They all looked like Damon's clothes actually. He brought a shirt up to his nose and took a sniff of the scent. Definitely Damon's. What the hell? Damon was living here too? He opened another drawer and pulled out some other clothes that were completely unfamiliar and he pulled them on as he tried to figure out why Damon would have clothes here. Had Damon given up on him completely or had he been staying here, trying to help him remember perhaps? Damon had said that they'd fought at length about his departure from his life. Maybe he hadn't given up. He felt a little guilty about beating him now.

"Damon?" He called but there was no answer.

He walked out into the lounge to find it empty and he called on him again. Damon had left.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elena arrived five minutes later, looking concerned and amazed at the same time.

"Stefan?" She approached him slowly, warily and he folded his arms.

"Unfortunately." He grunted and she frowned. "Sorry to disappoint you."

"What?"

"It's actually me, not amnesia boy. Sorry to disappoint you."

He held back, feeling angry, waiting for her to respond similarly to Damon when she rushed into him and threw her arms around him.

"Oh my god, Stefan! Stefan!" She began to sob and he held her and sighed in relief and surprise. "I thought I'd never speak to you again!"

"It's me." Was all he could think to say and she pulled back and touched his face, as though she could check it was him by appearance alone.

"How? How is this possible? When did you remember?" She held his hands.

"I haven't. I mean I don't remember getting out of the safe or any of this." He tilted his chin towards the room and she looked around. "I woke up on the ground about an hour ago and I thought I was hallucinating again."

"Hallucinating?" She frowned and he nodded.

"It was the only way I could…get through some of the pain, in the safe." He said, this throat thick with emotion.

He'd have to face the trauma of those memories later, once he figured out what was going on.

"Are you ok? You feel ok?" She reached up and cupped his face and he nodded, giving a small smile.

"Give or take a few missing memories of whatever's going on here." He commented and she blushed and looked around again sheepishly.

"Where's Damon?" Elena's voice was small and strange and he raised his eyebrows. "Have you seen him yet?"

"I've seen him alright." He tensed again. "I might have over-reacted about all of this."

She searched his face worriedly and gave a small nod.

"Has he been trying to help me remember?"

"I…" She stuttered, blushing.

"His clothes are here. This is my apartment isn't it?"

"I…you…well, he…" She gave a quick laugh of discomfort and embarrassment. "He's looked after you." She settled on as an explanation and he nodded. "What did he say?"

"Nothing, practically. It was like drawing blood from a stone."

"Where did he go?"

"Bailed as usual. He would have bolted immediately had I not tried to get information out of him. Guess water is thicker than blood."

"He's been through a lot with you…with Stef…with the other you." She corrected and he frowned at the repeated confusion of his name with this other person. "Things have been complicated."

"Complicated how? How long have I been like this?"

"A few months." She gave a sad smile as his eyes widened. "You don't remember anything at all?"

"Nothing." He mumbled and she squeezed his hands. "Hey, are we...?" He raised his eyebrows at her and she seemed unsure of what he was asking. "Are we together?"

"No." She said confused. "We've been friends. He, he wasn't you Stefan. I didn't feel that way for him." She explained and part of that gave him some relief.

"Who is my girlfriend then? Someone new? Human?" He asked and she swallowed and blushed again.

"Stefan a lot has happened. The life you've been living wasn't anything like yours. He wasn't anything like you. He made some choices that you might not understand or agree with." She spoke gravely and he felt his skin prickle again.

"Like what?"

"We should really call Damon. He'll be able to explain things better than I can." She advised, pulling her hands from his and turning her back as she tried to figure out how the hell he was going to react to the knowledge that Damon and the other Stefan had been in love.

"Fine. I want some answers." He replied curtly at her refusal to explain herself and pulled the cell from the jeans.

He hit the message icon and looked through the messages, searching for Damon's number when he paused. The whole inbox was full of messages between he and Damon. He frowned in surprise and opened one of them.

"Love you."

"So you should."

Stefan's eyes widened as he read the words and he looked at Elena for answers when she gave him a small shrug of affirmation. He sucked in a breath and read it over and over again.

"Love you."

"Love you."

"Love you."


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38 TNB

"Oh my god." He croaked, feeling bile rise in his throat. "Oh my god." He repeated.

"Stefan it's going to be ok." Elena said gently and he gasped and dropped the phone, running to the sink in the kitchen and gagging.

Nothing came up but he retched a few times anyway. Elena burned to go to him and hold him but she thought it best to give him some space for now. He panted, red faced and horrified as he looked around the room wildly. There were a couple of Damon's things here. Why had he not noticed that before? He let out a sound of horror and disbelief as all of the clues added up in his mind. Damon had been here. Damon's clothes were here. Some of Damon's books and gadgets were here. Damon's cologne in the bathroom. The way he touched his face earlier, the look of surprise and fear. The shock on his face as he realised who he was talking to. Oh god.

"Oh god." He let out a sob and gripped the sides of the sink.

That sound compelled Elena to him and she came behind him and slid her arms around him, kissing the back of his shoulder as he shook with some sobs.

"I don't understand!" He exhaled and she tightened her hold. "Lena!"

"I'm here." She whispered and he froze as he recalled the bedroom. "Stefan?" She asked worriedly and his whole body seized up.

"Oh my god." He barely uttered and she let go of him and pulled him around to look at her.

His eyes were impossibly wide and full of terror.

"No." He said, almost begging and she shook her head unsure what he was asking again. "He wouldn't…Lena, Damon didn't…"

"What?" She cupped his face gently.

"They didn't…" He choked as she waited. "They slept together didn't they?"

Her expression told him all he needed to know and his knees gave way underneath him. He fell to the floor and she followed him, whispering words of comfort. It all became a noise in his head as he tried just to keep breathing. He could picture it in his head – Damon on top of him, kissing him…oh god! Damon…Damon between his legs…Oh god!

"Stefan listen to me, listen to me." Elena caught his face in her hands again as she tried to stop him having a meltdown. "He wasn't you, ok? I know it's impossible for you to understand that but he wasn't you."

"Damon had sex with me." He said out of shock and she shook her head emphatically.

"No."

"Damon, used me. He took advantage of me."

"No, no. Stefan please, he wasn't you. He wasn't! They were in love." She said frantically and he looked into her eyes.

"What?" He felt bile in his throat again.

"They were in love. I promise you. It wasn't…it wasn't like you're thinking."

"How could you let him do this to me?" He accused now and she blinked in surprise and released his face. "How could you let him touch me like that?!"

He felt the denial begin to slip away, replaced by anger and she sat back in fear of it as it bubbled.

"He's my brother!" He shouted and she backed away and stood up. "You all stood by and let it happen."

"Stefan please you don't understand…"

"I don't need to understand! You all gave up on me and let my brother rape me!" He roared and she put her hands over her mouth in horror at the use of that word.

Tears filled her eyes and she shook her head.

"Get out." He growled and she let the tears spill down her cheeks. "Get the fuck out!"

He bore his fangs at her and she hurriedly moved away towards the door sobbing. She turned back to look at him as she left and he panted and snapped his fangs at her, so she fled. She cried all of the way back to Mystic Falls as she drove, trying to figure out how to fix this mess. Where the hell was Damon? What the hell were they going to do?

"Call Caroline." She croaked and her car auto-dialled.

"Hey Lena, what's up?"

"Care! I need your help!" She sobbed, unable to stop herself.

"What's wrong?" Caroline was immediately at attention in concern.

"It's Stefan, our Stefan – he's back and he doesn't remember anything about the other one."

"What?"

"Stefan Salvatore is back and he doesn't remember Stefan."

"You mean…"

"Yeah and I just made it so much worse."

"What are you talking about? How?" Caroline sounded alarmed.

"He knows about Damon. He's freaking out. I tried to explain but he just lost it." She sniffled and Caroline fell silent. "Care I don't know what to do! I've never seen him like this."

"Ok, ok. Let's just…let's just take this slow. Where is he?"

"At the apartment. Care he threw me out. He was so angry I thought he might hurt me. He blames us all for it happening."

"Ok, ok, ok." Caroline chanted anxiously. "We need to calm him down, make him understand."

"How?"

"Why isn't Damon taking care of this? This is his fault!"

"I don't know. He left before Stefan figured it out."

"What a surprise!" Caroline snapped and Elena exhaled. "I'll meet you at the boarding house. I'll find Damon ok? Just get back there and we will figure out what to do next."

"Ok." She croaked and hung up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stefan felt like scrubbing his body until he bled. His body was some foreign vessel now, something polluted and disgusting. He vomited a few times in the kitchen sink, unwilling to go back into that bedroom and see the bed again. How could this have happened? How? Damon and he..? He curled up in a ball on the floor and rocked himself as he tried to fight images of what might have transpired in that bed. Then he realised, perhaps some of those images were real. Perhaps some of them were from the other guy he'd been and it made him rock all the more. This couldn't be happening.

He'd been locked in the safe and drowning for a full year and none of them had bothered to look for him. When Damon finally did find him, instead of trying to get his memory back, he took him to bed. Damon had been inside of him, in his mouth…oh god. Not only that, he had probably touched Damon too. He whimpered. He lay for a while, shaking and rocking until he heard a cell phone ring. His 'new' cell phone. He reached out for it and looked at the screen.

Leyla.

Who the hell was Leyla? He deliberated for a few seconds before he pressed the answer function and put it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey Stef! Aren't you coming to the bar today? Thought the gig started at 8." The voice was so chirpy and full of affection that he blinked and sat up.

"Huh?"

"The gig's at 8 isn't it? I thought you'd be here by now. You haven't been round in a few days to feed. Thought I'd show up early so you can, before you go on."

"What?" He frowned.

What the hell was she talking about? A gig? Feeding? Feeding from her?

"You ok?" She asked in concern.

"Leyla."

"Yeah."

"You're my friend right?"

"Stefan what's wrong? Has Damon done something stupid?"

"You know him them?"

"Ok, I'm coming over. Don't move." She said commandingly and he listened to her hang up and the line go dead as he dropped the phone to the ground and returned to rocking himself.

Within ten minutes he heard footsteps climb the stairs and he sat up fearfully. A young woman around her mid 20s entered the apartment and looked around for him, freezing as she saw the state of him.

"Stefan!" She rushed forward and moved to hold him but he backed away, looking at her suspiciously. "It's me." She said gently and in surprise as she scanned his face.

"Leyla?" He asked and she nodded. "You're my friend?"

"I'm your best friend, or one of them." She said gently. "What's happened to you?"

"I'm not Stefan. I'm Stefan Salvatore." He said and she immediately registered what was happening.

She sat back looking shocked and grieved and he huffed. Yet another person who was disappointed he wasn't the other one.

"Sorry." He mumbled and she straightened her expression.

"No, I'm sorry. You took me by surprise. I'm Leyla. I'm a friend of Stefan's." She introduced and he looked to her in surprise. "I imagine you're probably pretty confused and afraid right now."

He nodded and seemed to relax.

"You don't remember his life?"

"No."

"Ok." She sighed, trying to think of how to start healing.

She'd read a little about this kind of amnesia when Stefan had told her all about Damon's theory, so she knew a little of how it would play out. She'd been waiting for this to happen, although she hadn't expected to be talking to a full blown one sided version of him, rather than one person with a mixture of memories beginning. This seemed more like multiple personality disorder. Not something that should be happening with dissociative amnesia. At least, not according to her research. She'd have to go slow here.

"It's not ok." He clenched his jaw. "Did you know that Damon is my brother?" He accused and she immediately gaped in shock.

He sat up straighter at her reaction, genuinely surprised that she didn't know.

"What?" She asked shakily.

"Damon is my brother."

"Oh god." She put her hand to her mouth and exhaled. "That explains so much."

"How?"

"The way he's been. He's always been so…"

"What?" He sat forward.

"Unsure. He's always seemed so tortured by the way you felt about him. I thought it was because he wasn't sure if he really loved you for the right reasons." She explained and he stared at her, waiting for more.

"He didn't want this?"

"He was on and off for a while, breaking you and then giving you hope again. I thought he was playing you at first."

"At first?" He swallowed bile again and she sighed.

"Then I saw it in his eyes." She said, blushing and feeling terrible for him. "Stefan I'm so sorry."

"What are you saying? That he actually loved this other guy? This other guy who was in my body? His brother's body? His brother who he'd known for his entire life and bathed when I was an infant?" He felt his heckles rise again and he ranted at her, feeling betrayed and angry again.

She took his anger calmly, with a pinch of salt as she let him finish.

"I know this must be unbearably horrible for you. I can't imagine." She said and he took a few deep breaths to calm down. "I don't understand how you don't remember anything."

"It's just as well!" He said emotionally and she nodded.

Something about the girl made him feel relaxed. She was an unknown to him, therefore it was easier not to feel so angry at her. This wasn't her fault. She hadn't known, not like Elena. He looked at her, trying to get a feel for who she was. What was clear was that she cared about him, or who he had been at least.

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?" He sighed tiredly and rubbed his eyes.

"Well, if I were you, I'd want to know what had happened to me since I got out of the safe."

His head snapped back up and he stared at her.

"You know about the safe?"

"Yes. I know all about that, what you went through. He might not have remembered your life but he remembered the drowning, the pain and the darkness." She advised.

"Then Damon got him out."

"No, Stefan." She said and he raised his eyebrows at her. "Damon didn't get him out."

"But I thought…"

"Damon rescued him. He rescued him from the darkness and made sure he would always be safe."

Stefan stared at her as he listened to her words. She was smart. She was trying to get him to understand how this might have happened based on the other Stefan's perspective.

"Damon was an angel, for quite a while."

"An Angel." Stefan scoffed.

"And the whole world. Even more important than me." She gave a sad smile.

"You and he were together?"

"Yes, but I think I was just a distraction from the Angel. Once Damon admitted he also had feelings, that was it."

"How could he feel that way?" Stefan clenched his fists.

"Perhaps we need to give you a tour of Stefan's life." She said resolutely and stood up, motioning for him to come with her.

He stood up and followed her into the lounge as she looked around.

"Ok. Let's start here. I don't know much about your life but I know his. Pick out something that isn't familiar to you."

He looked around and noticed a set of drums, tucked away in a corner of the room and he pointed to them.

"Right. Damon said you didn't play drums before."

"I play drums?"

"Stefan played drums, really well." She nodded.

"The gig. You mentioned a gig." He remembered.

"You have a cult following now. I wanted to feed you before your groupies got to you tonight and made Damon jealous.

"Wait, I feed on you?" He looked to her anxiously and she nodded.

"Yeah. I love you, why wouldn't I let you feed on me?"

"Because I…I can't. I'm…I don't drink human blood." He stuttered and she looked at him in confusion.

"You do now. You always drink from me."

"What?" He squinted at her. "How can I…I'm…oh god! Did I hurt you?" He panicked and she shook her head confused.

"Of course not."

"But…" He bit his lip in frustration and shook his head. "What else did I do?"

"Um, you like to build things – models and cars." She gestured around the room and he took it in. "You're the best vintage car mechanic in the state." She smiled proudly and he raised his eyebrows. "You like to dance, umm…" She tried to think what else stood out about her Stefan. "You're a little shy but forceful when you want something. Do you want to have a go?" She indicated towards the drums and he looked at them.

He walked towards the kit and took a seat while she watched him. He'd tried to play drums for a short period in the 50's but he had never had the co-ordination so he'd given up. He lifted the drum sticks and tried to get the feel for it as he tried to remember how to work them. He pushed the foot pedal and tried to drum a basic rhythm but he was all over the place and dropped his drum stick on the floor.

He looked up at her. She was biting her lip.

"Guess that'll die with him." He commented and stood up, abandoning them.

"It's in your brain somewhere. You are the same person. Those skills and memories are just sectioned off from you at the moment."

"Good. Let them stay there."

She sighed and shook her head.

"Well that's one thing you have in common."

"What?" He sat down.

"Your stubbornness. He refused to remember you as well. He wanted nothing more than to wipe you from existence."

He flared his nostrils as he breathed in anger.

"I was here first. This is my life." He grunted.

His cell wrang and they both looked at it as he looked down at the screen.

"Caroline." He said and she looked to him.

"Aren't you going to answer it?"

"Why should I? They all let this happen." He said calmly.

"Stefan they are your friends. They care about both parts of you. Believe me, I've seen it."

"You know them?"

"Yes we've met."

"And still not one of them told you about Damon." He snorted and she gave an apologetic smile.

"They have the answers to your questions." She pointed out. "Only they can fill in the gaps for you. I only know my Stefan."

"Would you come with me?" He looked up at her, eyes wide and vulnerable.

"Where?"

"Home. You're right, I need to know what happened."

"I should probably get back to…" She hesitated.

"Please Leyla. You're the only one who has any perspective here." He said and she sighed and nodded.

"Ok."

"Thank you." He smiled and stood up, answering his cell finally.

Leyla held herself as he replied curtly to the Blonde on the other end of the phone and hung up abruptly. He took in a deep breath and looked to her.

"Let's do this."


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39 TNB

Stefan had muttered angrily as he searched the workshop for his car.

"Where the hell is my car?"

"Um, there." She pointed to the red Camaro and he huffed.

"No chance." He grunted. "I am not driving that."

"Why?" She frowned.

"Never mind." He grunted and moved past it, around the side of the garage. "Seriously, a crank handle?" He mocked when he saw the vintage beauty which was Stefan's pride and joy.

Leyla held herself and felt a wave of grief flow through her. This Stefan really was different. He didn't have any light-heartedness about him. He was so negative, but then she could hardly blame him right now.

"For god sake, doesn't this guy have any normal cars?"

"Hey, look, why don't we just take my car. Ok?" She squeezed his arm and he sighed and nodded.

They jumped into her car and she looked to him.

"Um, I don't know where you live." She said and he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Head north." He said and so she started the ignition and headed out as her body vibrated with nerves.

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"Sit down!" Caroline commanded and Damon did so.

She huffed in surprise at his following of her command and looked to Elena.

"Good. Ok. We need to figure out how to fix this." She said and Elena nodded and held herself.

Caroline looked from one to the other, awaiting a response but both of them looked to the ground and sank back into their chairs defeated.

"Ok." She sighed. "First of all, what does he know?"

No answer from either.

"Well, we know he knows he was in the safe for a year. He knows he's been someone else for the past few months and he knows…"

"About me." Damon mumbled.

"Right." Caroline nodded and looked to Elena.

"He's probably feeling angry, confused…"

"He'll want to kill me." Damon mumbled again, his eyes glazing over.

"We just need to explain." Elena looked to him and he smirked.

"Yeah right. That'll make him less homicidal."

"You knew this could happen ok? Deal with it." Caroline said and he looked at her angrily. "You knew he could get his memories back any time and you would have to face this. You both knew. Now you have to make this right."

Damon gritted his teeth at her but he couldn't deny what she was saying.

"I always thought maybe he would remember things gradually, like he was starting to, but he didn't know anything. I don't get it." Elena sighed unhappily and Damon swallowed.

"I know. I read up on it and it's not supposed to happen this way." Caroline chewed her lip.

They all sighed, feeling depressed.

"He hates all of us." Elena whispered in pain. "He'll never forgive us."

"This is Stefan, Elena. He might be angry and feeling betrayed right now but he cares too much about all of us to not allow us a chance to explain this. We're his family."

"Not for long." Damon mumbled.

"Will you stop feeling sorry for yourself for one minute and think about the bigger picture here?" Caroline snapped at him. "He's hurting, he's afraid and the only life he's known has been taken over by an imposter."

Damon gasped at her choice of words and she closed her mouth as his eyes filled with tears.

"She didn't mean it like that." Elena cooed at him and he bowed his head and clasped his hands to his mouth. "We all loved your Stefan, but to your brother it will be like someone stole his life."

"Exactly. We have to see it from his point of view if we are going to be able to get through to him." Caroline spoke a little more gently.

They all looked up as they heard a car pull up outside. Elena stood up nervously and she and Caroline looked at Damon. Damon sat back into his chair and stared at the ground dejected and haunted. It looked like he'd given up and it made Elena's stomach burn. She took a deep breath and moved to open the front door. She opened it nervously and frowned when she saw Leyla standing there, looking uncomfortable.

"Hi Elena."

"Leyla, what are you..?"

"She's with me." Stefan appeared behind her and pushed his way inside as Elena stepped aside.

Leyla shot her a look of understanding and sympathy as they walked in and she closed the door. Stefan walked in and stopped when he saw Damon. Damon didn't even look up to acknowledge him.

"You found him then? Where was he? Back under his rock?"

"Stefan…" Elena began.

"Shut up, Elena." He said commandingly and Caroline crossed her arms and exchanged glances with her.

"None of you talk unless I ask ok? I'm not here for a reunion. I'm here for answers." He said and Leyla squeezed his arm to calm him.

"I brought Leyla because she's the only one that seems to not want to lie to me." He gave a short cruel laugh. "A girl I don't even know has been more honest with me than my own friends."

"Stefan…" Caroline began.

"No! Especially you Care." He shook his head. "How could you of all people…We've always been honest with each other. You've always had my back, but this…this is…"

"Oh sit down already!" Damon hissed, surprising everyone with the outburst and Stefan looked at him in fury.

"Don't say a word." Stefan growled. "Not one fucking word."

Damon growled back at him and clenched the sides of his armchair.

"Stefan, you had questions." Leyla reminded him calmly and he took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he tried to calm down.

She guided him down into a chair and stood beside him as Elena and Caroline also took a seat.

"How long have I been playing around as Stefan the little drummer boy?"

Damon clenched the sides of his armchair again and Elena bit her lip as she watched him.

"You stayed here for a month after you came home. You tried to remember but the more you learned about your life, the more you didn't want to remember." Elena said.

"Like what?" He stared at her.

"Your nature frightened you. Everything that had happened lately, with Silas, with me…"

"With you and him? Well, at least someone got over that quickly enough. How long was it before he kicked you out of bed and decided to sodomize me?" Stefan looked at Damon.

Damon's fingers ripped the sides of the armchair off as he tightened them again and everyone looked at him. He remained with his gaze directly in front of him, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

"I know it must seem like that to you Stefan, but it didn't play out like that." Caroline said gently.

"When you were missing we searched everywhere. I couldn't bear to think of you suffering somewhere, alone. Silas made clear just how badly you would be suffering and I couldn't take it." Elena explained and he listened to her every word. "I blamed Damon. I blamed myself and in the end it was over. All that mattered was finding you."

"And then he did." Leyla said.

"What a hero." Stefan snorted. "Then what happened?"

"You were so afraid. You didn't know anything. You were almost like a child sometimes."

"We started slow, telling you about your life and who you were, but you were still so afraid that we would hurt you."

"The only person you trusted was Damon."

"My Angel." Stefan snorted again and Damon looked at him in surprise. "And so the Florence Nightingale effect brainwashed me."

"No. I know that's what you want to hear Stefan but you were as stubborn and independent minded then as you are now. No one could talk you into anything you didn't want." Caroline said.

"Are you saying you tried?" He scoffed and she exhaled and sat up straight, calmly.

"Yes, I did. I warned you that if you remembered there'd be a lot of things you'd feel differently about. You made your own choices." She said and he shook his head.

"Why didn't you chain me up until you could talk some sense into me?"

"If I'd thought that would have helped you I would have." She said and Elena put her head in her hands.

"You were so happy Stefan. You don't know. Without your memories and guilt, you were able to live and be happy. You had friends, you could feed without worry. You were the happiest I've ever seen you and we couldn't rob you of that." Elena said, looking to Leyla for help.

Stefan looked up at Leyla for reassurance and she gave a small smile.

"When you came to town, we met and I introduced to my friends at the bar. You took to life there like a duck to water and you were happy." She said. "I really thought you had everything you wanted from life until Damon came to visit and I saw how important he was to you."

She looked over to Damon and Damon got out of his chair and moved to the fireplace, turning his back to them all.

"He took advantage of me." Stefan croaked and Damon leaned his hands on either side of the mantel.

"No. Stefan it was always you who made it clear how you felt for him." Elena advised.

"What?"

"It was always you. None of us could understand it, least of all him. You fought with us about it. You fought with him about it, until you hated him because he didn't return your feelings and you ended up leaving here."

"I don't believe that." Stefan said, his throat tight in disbelief and Damon let out a chuckle.

"Who cares? Who cares what you believe?" Damon turned around, his eyes burning. "Point is it happened, so what are you going to do about it huh?"

Stefan stood up angrily and Damon smirked.

"Come on then. Get it over with already and just kill me." Damon challenged and everyone stood up in fear.

"No, Stefan please, we need to talk about this!" Elena cried and Caroline looked at Damon.

"Stop it! We don't have time for the testosterone!" Caroline yelled at him and he just smiled wider at Stefan, urging him to go for him.

"Come on, end this."

"You'd like that wouldn't you!" Stefan growled in rage. "You fucking coward."

"Your fucking coward!" Damon hit back and Stefan took a step forward agressively.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Elena shouted and Leyla stood back in fear. "Damon stop it!"

"What's the point? There's no going back now anyway, not after this." He hissed and Stefan bore his fangs as the girls got in between them desperately, Elena holding Damon back and Caroline holding Stefan. "Not after I was going to marry you." Damon added and everyone looked at him, wide eyed.

Stefan gaped and took a step back as Damon nodded in affirmation.

There was silence for a minute as everyone collected themselves. Caroline released Stefan and turned to Elena for confirmation of what Damon was confessing and suddenly Stefan flew at him, knocking the girls out of the way and landing on top of Damon in a heap. Damon struggled as Stefan punched him and choked him.

"You fucking liar!" He screamed and the girls tried to rip him off.

He lashed back at them, throwing them both to the floor as Leyla began to sob in fear. He returned his attentions to Damon, grabbing a poker and ramming it through his stomach as Damon coughed up blood and let him.

"You disgusting monster. You fucking insect." He growled close to his face as Damon convulsed in pain and closed his eyes.

"Stefan…" Leyla sobbed and it caught his attention.

He looked round at her as he grabbed an axe next to the fireplace. She shook her head in terror.

"Don't. Please don't." She begged and he looked down at Damon's face, now pale and almost unconscious as he lifted the axe.

No, this was too much. He couldn't live with this. He lifted the axe, aiming to take Damon's head off when Caroline jumped onto his back and broke his neck.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40 TNB

Stefan's body fell to the ground on top of Damon as Leyla screamed.

"Stefan!" She shouted and moved forward but Elena stood up and blocked her.

"Vampire!" She reminded her and Leyla seemed to realise and nodded.

Caroline pulled Stefan off of Damon and Elena turned back and pulled the poker from Damon's stomach. She cupped his face as he groaned in pain and shed a few tears. She cooed at him and he turned his face away from her.

"You, help me." Caroline ordered Leyla and Leyla went to help her remove Stefan from the room.

"What were you doing?" Elena scolded Damon as she helped him sit up.

He gasped in pain and wilted, leaning into her.

"Do you think if he kills you, it'll make you even?" She demanded and he groaned and rested his face in at her neck.

She softened and held him, stroking through the hair at the back of his head. He was broken.

"Damon I need you. He still needs you." She whispered. "He needs his brother."

"I'm not his brother anymore." He whispered and she rocked him gently. "I can't ever be again."

"You don't know that. He needs some time."

"I don't." He pulled back to look at her sincerely. "I can't change back."

"Damon…"

"No, Elena. My Stefan is gone. All I will ever see when I look at him will be what I've lost."

"You thought like that before. Remember? It took you a long time to separate them in your mind so you could be with him. You can do it again. Besides, you might have lost one but you regained the other."

He squeezed his eyes closed and she guided his head back into her neck again.

Caroline and Leyla returned to the room and looked at them sadly.

"What are we going to do?" Leyla asked and Caroline shrugged.

"I don't know."

"How did this happen? It shouldn't have gone down like this." Leyla shook her head.

Damon lifted his head from Elena's neck and looked towards them.

"Bonnie." He said.

"What about Bonnie?" Elena asked and Caroline stepped forward, bending down to come to their level.

"Stef did a spell so he wouldn't remember anything but it backfired. Bonnie tried to get a witch to reverse it, but it must have done something to his mind." He explained and the girls looked to each other.

Caroline stood up and pulled her cell out, dialling Bonnie's number.

"Bonnie Bennet get your ex-witch ass over to the Boarding House." She hung up and looked to Elena again.

"She didn't tell me." Elena promised.

"I told her not to. It was Stefan's business." Damon said and they both exhaled in anger.

"That's…great." Caroline crossed her arms. "Welcome to shit-storm Salvatore."

Bonnie was sheepish and guilty when she arrived and Elena and Caroline both spoke at the same time. It had been excruciating to keep something like this from them both and as Bonnie explained her role they both backed off and calmed down.

"What does this all mean then?" Leyla sipped a coffee as they all sat around the kitchen table.

"It sounds like the spell and Stefan's own efforts have sealed off parts of his psyche. In effect we have old Stefan unable to connect with the most recent one because new Stefan sealed off so many doors."

"So, it's like he's trapped himself in that part, separate from old Stefan." Elena surmised.

"Yes." Bonnie nodded.

"Except, not." Damon said. "My Stefan remembered some of the things he wasn't supposed to. He remembered seeing me dying as a human, some of the things I'd done over the years. He was supposed to have closed some of those doors."

"Maybe part of the reversal spell worked then." Bonnie chewed her lip. It could mean we have more problems."

"How could there be more?" Caroline snorted.

"Somewhere in his brain there's a Stefan who remembers bits and pieces. Our Stefan remembers nothing. As long as that continues, his brain will continue to increase the separation between them. It could make him ill, push his brain to the brink."

"Jesus." Leyla whispered.

"What do we do? Another spell?" Elena leaned across the table worriedly.

"No, it's too risky. If I could still do it, then I would but I can't trust the power of any local witches. Iman was skilled but she didn't uphold the same values. I can't trust anyone's intent whom I don't know."

"What about your relative? The one you met at the masquerade ball with Katherine?" Caroline suggested and Bonnie shook her head.

"I don't even know how to contact her."

"Can't we just try and get him some counselling? Try and get him to remember the natural way?" Leyla suggested and they all snorted.

"He won't want to, not now." Damon said.

"He's so angry, but maybe we can calm him down and talk some sense into him." She suggested.

"He's not going to want to remember shit." Damon said coldly. "Not when he knows that Stef and I were together. You saw him, he was actually going to take my head off. He may be my brother but he's not sane right now. Everything you might expect from him will be off."

"Damon's right. Although newer Stefan didn't remember our Stefan's life, he was just as empathetic and kind. Those traits weren't singular to him, they were part of his true nature – your brother's nature and if he's completely sealed that side of his brain off, then we have a Stefan Salvatore here, who is not only angry and feeling betrayed, he's got no ability to connect with his rational, sensitive side. All he's going to feel is anger and hatred. He won't be able to relate to us." Bonnie warned and everyone looked down at the table.

"So we've got a young, frightened but empathic Stefan locked somewhere in his brain, maybe permanently..." Caroline paused as Damon swallowed painfully, "…and a homicidal, confused, older Stefan who doesn't want to listen to a word we say?"

"Pretty much." Damon mumbled and they all sighed again.

"We're fucked." Elena said and everyone looked at her in surprise at her cursing.

"Damon!" Stefan screamed suddenly from upstairs and everyone bolted from the table.

Despite the fact that Stefan had just tried to kill him, Damon blurred up the stairs towards the sounds of his screaming, leaving the rest of them to run behind. Damon burst into Stefan's room to find him on the floor and shaking. When he saw Damon he reached out for him and for a moment he forgot about his brother being back. He took a step forward to go to him when he stopped.

"Stefan?" He asked and Stefan panted, afraid and confused as to why Damon was standing there. "Is that you Stef?"

"Angel!" Stefan sobbed and reached for him and Damon went to him immediately and lifted him into his arms.

Stefan clung to him and buried his face against his chest as everyone came into the room and stopped to watch. Stefan was practically clawing at Damon to keep him close as Damon lay him down onto the bed again.

"No! No! Don't go!" Stefan sobbed and Damon kissed his forehead and cooed at him.

"I'm here. Not going anywhere." He said softly and took Stefan's hand and placed it over his heart.

Stefan began to calm and looked at the others.

"How did I get here?" He sniffled and Damon stroked some sweat from his forehead. "What's happening?"

"Are you..?" Elena began in astonishment as Bonnie nodded and looked to Damon. "Stef?"

"Of course it's me." He said still panting. "I passed out with my headache and then I woke up here. How did I get here?" He looked up at Damon.

"Your damned spell Stef. It split your mind into two." Damon mumbled.

"What?"

"When you woke up earlier you were the old Stefan." Bonnie explained and Stefan's eyes widened.

"What?!"

"It's ok." Damon said softly and stroked his cheek.

"No! He can't come back. This is my life!" Stefan grabbed Damon's arms again, pulling Damon closer, when he realised that Damon had blood all over his torso.

He reached out and touched him, seeing the gaping hole in his shirt from where he had been impaled and he searched Damon's face.

"I hurt you?"

"No, no." Damon cooed and Stefan looked to Elena, whose eyes hid nothing.

"I hurt you." He gritted his teeth and looked to Damon again. "He hurt you."

"I'm ok."

"No!" Stefan hissed and pushed him back.

Damon stood back from him looking grieved as Stefan sat up and looked at Bonnie.

"Fix this. Get rid of him Bonnie, like the spell was supposed to do!"

"Stefan you know that you can't. He is you."

"No!" Stefan growled.

"Stop." Leyla said calmly and he noticed her for the first time.

"Leyla?" He whispered in surprise.

She climbed onto the bed with him and sat facing him, taking his hands.

"You know I love you." She said and he nodded. "You know that I want you to be who you are and not some ghost. I've got no ulterior motive."

He nodded and squeezed her hands.

"You know that I know, how much you love Damon. I know that nothing else in the world matters."

He nodded again.

"You trust me to keep you right in what's important to you?"

He nodded and swallowed.

"Then let me. Trust me. Stefan, your brain is so precious. If you push it anymore to forget, then you're going to lose everything." She said softly and he searched her eyes.

"What am I supposed to do?" He asked weakly.

"Let it be Stefan." Bonnie said. "Whatever is happening is your brains' way of trying to heal. Don't be afraid and just let it happen."

"But he took over my body. He hurt Damon." He looked at Damon grieved.

"I can look after myself." Damon gave a small smile.

"Would you let someone take over your body?" He asked Bonnie and they all tensed and looked at each other. "Of course you wouldn't." He said.

"Can everyone give us a minute?" Damon said and they all left the room and closed the door behind them as Damon lay down on the bed with him.

"Look at me." He said and Stefan lay back down and turned to him. "I love you."

"I know."

"I don't want to lose you."

Stefan pulled him closer to him and snuggled his face into Damon's neck.

"I thought you were gone." He Damon kissed his shoulder. "And he was so afraid and confused too."

"Fuck him." Stefan mumbled and kissed Damon's neck.

"That's just the problem." Damon sighed and Stefan pulled back with wide eyes. "I have been for months."

"No." Stefan croaked and shook his head. "You know that's not true."

"Stef." He stroked his cheekbones and kissed his mouth softly. "It doesn't matter to me anymore, because I already love you more than the world. If you are my brother again, it won't change that for me. Today I would have let him kill me because I couldn't stop loving you both despite it all."

"You love me differently." Stefan closed his eyes in grief.

"I do, but I can't have you on your own without it killing your mind. So I need both of you."

"No." Stefan sniffled and shed some tears of disbelief.

"Please Stefan. I need you both. I need you to let him come back through." Damon cupped his head and brought him under his chin so he could curl around him and rock him.

"He'll never love you. He tried to hurt you. Even if he comes back and we melt together, he'll hate you. I can feel him, as though he's under my skin, waiting."

"Maybe he will, or maybe you'll both remember how you feel about me in time and we can start again."

"No. No, no, no!" Stefan collapsed into full sobs and Damon squeezed him and stroked his back. "I can't!"

"Then I can't either." Damon whispered and Stefan calmed his sobs and pulled back to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't do this." Damon said sadly.

"Do what?"

"I can't be with you anymore."

"What?!" Stefan grabbed at him and Damon just sighed sadly.

"I can't watch you destroy your brain for me." Damon added and Stefan gasped and began to sob again.

"What are you saying?"

Damon moved from his arms and got out of the bed. Stefan sat up, his adrenaline animating his movements.

"Fifty years we agreed." Damon said with his back still turned and Stefan choked in horror.

"No!"

"We both agreed Stef."

"Damon don't leave me! What are you..? Why are you saying this?!"

"Because I can't love someone who's constantly fighting with their own brain!" Damon snapped and turned to him cooly. "I can't love one and grieve for the other anymore when they are one and the same."

"Damon…" Stefan shook his head desperately.

"I can't love you when you're brain dead." Damon said calmly and Stefan gaped and hung his head, flooding his eyes with tears of heartbreak.

Damon turned and walked away, closing the door behind him and descending the stairs as everyone turned to watch him leave. Elena and Caroline both glared at him as he left the house. They'd heard every word.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41 TNB

Stefan sobbed to himself as he listened to Damon drive away from the house. He'd made himself clear. He couldn't go on like this with Stefan making himself crazy. Stefan just didn't know how cope with the idea that he might lose the love they had if he allowed himself to give in to his biology. He rose from the bed and moved through into Damon's bedroom, seeking out some comfort there. He climbed into Damon's bed, sniffing around, looking for Damon's smell but he'd spent so little time here recently that it was gone. He sighed unhappily and went over to his dresser. Damon had taken most of his clothes from here already but there were a few strays t-shirts lingering.

He pulled one out and sniffed it deeply. There was what he wanted. He smiled and took it back into the bed with him, holding it to his nose for comfort. He closed his eyes to sleep, lulled with the scent of Damon around him and relaxed. It wasn't long before the thumping in his head started though and he groaned and curled into himself whimpering. Headaches were horrible.

"Damon…" He whimpered and he heard someone approach the room. "Damon." He said again and Elena stuck her head in to check on him.

"Stefan, you ok?"

"My head." He choked miserably and shivered.

She approached the bed and sat down next to him, stroking his forehead and trying to soothe him.

"You've got so much going on in there Stefan. That's why it hurts. You need to let it all go." She whispered and he shook his head and hugged Damon t-shirt closer to his nose again.

"I can't. I'll lose him."

"You'll lose him anyway. You heard what he said." She said and he squinted his eyes at her. "When Damon makes his mind up about something, that's it Stefan. He loves you too much to watch this anymore."

"He won't leave me." He whispered.

The thumping in his head got worse as each of them attended him, trying to convince him to let go but he wouldn't. He was just as stubborn as ever before. As midnight approached, Damon still hadn't come home and everyone's words of caution began to feel more real. Where was he? When was he coming back? He writhed, sweat pouring from his body as his headache developed to a full blown migraine with colours and shapes behind his eyes. The pain was terrible and he cried. He felt so weak and all he wanted was for Damon to hold him.

In the end Damon finally came home. The car pulled up outside and Stefan opened his eyes as he breathed raggedly. His whole body was wracked from the headache and he was sicker and weaker than he'd felt in a long time. He tried to call out for him but couldn't summon the energy. He hid his face with Damon's t-shirt and waited.

Damon poured himself a drink and sat down to think. Everyone had cleared out of there except Elena, who'd fallen asleep on the sofa, covered in a blanket. She stirred as he watched her.

"Hey." She said sleepily.

"Hey."

"Where have you been? He's been suffering so badly all day."

"I had to get out." He said, swirling the bourbon in his glass. "He can't see straight when I'm here."

"A little harsh don't you think?" She raised an eyebrow.

"What would you have done?" He looked at her pointedly.

She opened her mouth and closed it again as she sighed and nodded.

"Exactly. He's going to kill himself unless he remembers everything and he won't do it because of me."

"I know." She agreed.

"If I leave either way, there's nothing for him to fear losing anymore. He'll have to remember, to save himself."

"You're really going to leave, to force him?" She swallowed.

"It's the only way to save him." He chewed his lip and took another swig from his glass.

She held her chest and swallowed her pain for his suffering. Either his mind would collapse or Damon leaving would kill him. This was such a horrible situation.

"Promise me something." He said and she looked at him. "Take care of him."

"But if he still wants you once he's remembered…"

"Then I'll come back."

"But how will you know?"

"I'll check in with you but I don't want him to know. This has to be his decision. If he knows where I am he might follow me. He has to do this for himself, not for me. That's always been the problem here."

She nodded as she considered that.

"I'm sorry." She whispered and he looked at her in surprise. "For your loss."

He swallowed and gave a quick nod as he stood up.

"Before you go, please go to him. He's been in pain all day and crying for you. Just, say goodbye?" She squeezed his arm and he nodded, looking towards the stairs in trepidation.

He ascended the stairs slowly, as quietly as he could and went into Stefan's room. He paused when he saw the empty bed.

"Damon…" He heard his weak voice and he turned around and went to his room.

Stefan looked miserable and small, wrapped in one of Damon t-shirts as though it was a shield from the world. Damon went to him and pulled him into his lap, kissing his forehead. He stroked the wet hair from his temples and frowned at how bad he looked. He had dark circles around his eyes and his pupils were different sizes. Each touch of Damon's fingers seemed to make him cringe in hyper-sensitivity and Damon exhaled and bit his lip to prevent tears.

"Do you see yourself?" He whispered and Stefan clutched at the front of his jacket.

"I'm sorry." Stefan mumbled. "I'm sorry for being such a fuck-up."

"You're not a fuck-up. You're mine." Damon soothed. "You'll always be mine, even when I'm not here."

Stefan looked up at him anxiously.

"Till the stars burn out."

"You're leaving me." Stefan croaked and Damon nodded. "Why?" He whimpered.

"Because I can't watch this and if you're mind is free of me you'll save yourself."

"You're the world." Stefan whimpered and Damon kissed his mouth softly for a few seconds.

"The world is a big place and you haven't even seen a quarter of it. I'm small potatoes, brother."

"Please don't call me that." Stefan sobbed, but he had no tears left.

"Brother." Damon repeated and Stefan put his face against Damon's chest and shook. "My beautiful, strong, amazing brother."

"No." Stefan sobbed against him.

"I could say it a hundred times and it still wouldn't make me regret anything we've done together." Damon whispered into his hair and squeezed him. "Maybe one day you'll be able to accept that and not want to kill me."

"I'll stake myself if you go." Stefan pulled back and looked up at him seriously. "I will."

"Always a drama queen." Damon chuckled and stroked his face lovingly. "All because you don't have faith in how strong your feelings are for me."

"Huh?"

"That's what really scares you isn't it? It's not that I won't love you anymore. I've shown you that I will, but you don't trust yourself."

Stefan blinked up at him as he considered that.

"I know I'll always love you, no matter what." He said defiantly.

"Prove it then. Remember, Stefan. Stop this." Damon urged him and Stefan searched his face. "Otherwise I am leaving now and I won't be coming back."

Stefan fell silent and Damon stared down at him resolutely. After a few moments he lay Stefan back down onto the bed and kissed his forehead. Stefan held onto his arms as he pulled away.

"Wait."

"I've said everything that needs saying. You've made your own choice." Damon said and moved out of his arms.

Stefan began to hyperventilate as Damon picked a few things out of his drawers – the last remaining possessions he had here. Stefan tried to sit up, but was too weak to. He panted as he watched him, still not quite believing he would leave.

"Damon please…"

"Goodbye Stefan." Damon moved around the bed on his way out of the room and Stefan panicked.

"Wait! Damon, wait!" He fell out of the bed and choked and Damon stopped and sighed in anguish at how weak he was.

He bent down and lifted him into his arms, placing him back on the bed as Stefan clutched at him fiercely.

"No. No!" Stefan gritted his teeth and tightened his hold and Damon had to fight with his hands to free himself.

"Stefan stop it!" He growled, baring his fangs and Stefan shrank back. "Let me leave with some dignity."

"I'll do it!" Stefan shouted as Damon touched the door handle. "I'll do whatever you want! Just don't leave me!"

He turned around to look at him as Stefan leaned on the side of the bed and panted wildly. He looked insane. Damon nodded and sat his bag down as he waited.

"I don't know what to do." Stefan whispered and Damon bit his lip. "How do I do this?"

Stefan was so lost. Damon went to him, moving him over in the bed as he climbed on with him and held him for a few minutes till Stefan was calm and breathing normally.

"Relax and close your eyes." Damon cooed. "You just have to stop fighting."

Stefan let out a deep exhale and turned so they were face to face, noses almost touching.

"Marry me." Stefan whispered.

"As soon as you ask me again." Damon smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

Stefan draped his arm over him, pulling him in tighter to him as he opened his mouth to him. It felt like days since they'd made love and he wanted to, he just didn't have the strength. He slid his hands down into Damon's jeans and Damon inhaled in surprise and tensed. He pulled away from Stefan's mouth.

"Stefan, this isn't a good idea." He said, trying not to become erect. "What if you...?"

"I don't care. This is how I want you. How I want to wake up and see you once I remember, so I remember that this is what I want." Stefan explained and worked harder at his flesh as Damon sighed and gyrated into his hand.

"Mmn…" Damon moaned softly and Stefan kissed his mouth again, stroking their tongues together as Damon continued to get lost to the comfort and pleasure.

Damon's jeans were too tight to contain his erection now and Stefan kissed him to distract him as he undid them and freed his flesh so he could pump him fully. Damon gasped into his mouth and fluttered his eyelashes.

"My Damon. My fiancé." Stefan whispered into the kisses and Damon nodded and moaned.

Stefan waited until he could see Damon wasn't going to last much longer and then he moved downwards, taking him into his mouth and sucking. Damon tilted his head back, rolling onto his back as he bucked his hips and whispered his name. His moans got more heated and Stefan took him deep.

"Stefan, stop I'm going to…I'm going to…" Damon warned, afraid of how he might react afterwards should he still have the taste of semen in his mouth, but Stefan sucked him hard and he erupted into his mouth with a spasm.

He gasped and threw his arm over his head as Stefan kissed around his stomach and ribs.

"Remember…that was your idea." Damon panted and Stefan lay beside him again and kissed his chest. "Are you ready?"

Stefan nodded and cupped Damon's manhood.

"What are you doing?" Damon removed his arm and stared at him.

"This will be my instant reminder." Stefan said and Damon chewed his lip anxiously.

"Stefan, we should be sensible and assume that you're going to be in shock. You don't want your first experience to be holding your brother's genitals."

"My lover's genitals." Stefan corrected and Damon sighed.

"Stefan." He scolded slightly.

"Ok, fine." Stefan gave in, but held him to him after Damon pulled his jeans back up and fastened them. "Don't let me hurt you."

"Just focus on how much you love me, like now and hopefully you won't try to." Damon soothed and Stefan nodded and closed his eyes, leaning his face on Damon's chest.

It helped to smell Damon's comforting scent around him and he relaxed fully.

"Just let it all go." Damon whispered and kissed his forehead gently.

Stefan pictured himself back in the hallway of his mind. Some of the doors had blown off and looked as though they'd been obliterated. It was haunting and made him feel on nerve. He wasn't sure what to do. When you'd spent so much time running from things, how did you find them, to finally face them again? He kept walking and checking in the rooms like he had before, but they all seemed empty. He got to the end of the corridor and turned around, looking for another way to go. There was nothing. He exhaled confused and heard Damon softly whisper words of comfort and encouragement to him. He had to do this for him.

He focussed, closing his eyes in his mind and opened them again. The hallways still looked the same – a dead end. What was he even looking for? Stefan Salvatore. That's who he was looking for. That's who he needed to find. He called out for him in his mind and waited.

"Stefan Salvatore?" He called out in his mind again and then there he was, standing in front of him.

They both moved back from each other in surprise and stared at each other up and down. He'd thought it would be like looking into a mirror, but it was so different from that. Even though they were identical, they looked totally different. It wasn't just the clothes, it was even the way they were standing, their facial expressions…they were innately different and they both seemed to relax because of that.

"You're the other one." S. Salvatore said and he nodded. "You're my brother's lover?"

"Yes."

"Didn't you know who he was?" S. Salvatore accused and Stefan held his ground, remaining calm.

"He wasn't my brother, he was yours. I am not you."

"Clearly." S. Salvatore said bluntly.

"You hurt him." Stefan accused and S. Salvatore nodded.

"He had sex with his own brother. I know you have an excuse but he didn't. He just thought with his penis."

"You can convince yourself of that all you want but soon you're going to remember that's not true. He was tortured for ages because of how I wanted him and how he felt about you. It almost got him killed."

"You have no idea who he is. He's not an Angel."

"I know who he is. I saw your memories."

"Then why are we even having this conversation?" S. Salvatore put both of his hands out in confusion and Stefan held himself.

"Because love changed him. My love."

"Please!" S. Salvatore snorted and Stefan stared at him in surprise.

His facial expressions were so like Damon's. He supposed that was common with siblings. They were alike in those ways.

"You're going to understand soon enough."

"Why?"

"Because we have to join together and heal our brain."

"So you can continue to let my body be abused by my brother and sail off into the sunset? I don't think so."

"You think I want to do this? You think I want to take the chance that I might wake up and hate him like you do? I love him more than the world and I'm going to have to trust parts of you to take care of him for me!" He snapped.

"Why don't you disappear back to where you came from and give me my life back, huh? Get out of my head." S. Salvatore sneered dangerously.

"If we don't join, we will die."

"I'm a vampire you moron."

"Our brain is rotting. Do you want to be an eternal vegetable?"

S. Salvatore seemed shaken by that comment and he chewed his lip.

"It's this or nothing." Stefan put his hands out to demonstrate the enormity of their situation.

"That's it Stef. Just let go…" Damon's voice filled the hallway, full of love and comfort and they both looked around.

"I will." Stefan let out a small sigh and gave a small smile as his heart filled with love and longing.

The other Stefan chewed his lip, unsure how to feel at such an obvious expression of devotion coming from the other.

"I can't make you any promises about him."

Stefan looked to him and nodded in understanding.

"He violated my body and it's always how I'm going to feel about that." He nodded and they looked at each other. "How do we do this?"

"I'm not sure." Stefan said and closed his eyes, willing the answer to come. "Maybe we both just have to agree to do this and stop fighting."

S. Salvatore nodded and took a step towards him. Stefan felt compelled to as well until they were both face to face.

"You really love him?"

"Enough to have split apart our brain." Stefan nodded.

"I'm sorry." S. Salvatore said honestly and reached out to touch him.

The hallway filled with bright light and he closed his eyes until it faded. He opened his eyes to see Damon's blue ones, looking at him filled with love and anxiety. He blinked as Damon stroked through his hair.

"Hey."


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42 TNB

"Hey." Damon said as he held him close and Stefan searched his face for a few seconds.

It felt like déjà vu, until Stefan pulled away from him and sat up, looking around. Damon removed his arms from him and waited.

"Stefan?" Damon said after a minute of silence and no response from him and Stefan turned to look him in the eye.

His eyes looked different somehow and Damon searched them looking for his Stefan, his innocent and young lover. Stefan eyes had age to them now. He wasn't just his care-free Stef anymore. He swallowed and Stefan looked away from him again, rubbing his eyes.

"I'm here." He replied finally and Damon held still as he climbed off of the bed and moved to the bathroom, turning on the shower.

Damon sat up slowly, his heart pounding in his ears. At least Stefan's first reaction wasn't to kill him. That had to be a good thing, right? He was so relieved that he'd talked Stefan out of waking with his hands down his pants. Stefan showered silently and he sat waiting. The silence was deafening. Finally Stefan came out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel, looking over to him.

"Do I still have clothes here?" He asked and Damon shook his head. "Great." He said coldly and eyed Damon's bag. "Can I borrow some?"

"Yeah." Damon got up and pulled some clothes out of the bag, handing them to him as he watched him dressing.

"Stefan…"

"Not right now Damon. I've got a headache." Stefan replied and Damon closed his mouth. "I'm not ready to talk."

"Ok." Damon swallowed and nodded absent-mindedly.

Damon began to feel like an intruder in his own room and so he moved to exit, when Stefan called him.

"Yeah?"

"Was it worth it?" Stefan asked him and Damon looked him in the eye.

"Every second." He replied and Stefan chewed his lip and shook his head slightly.

Damon felt his heart grow heavy and he managed to get outside of the house before he leant over the hood of the Camaro and tried to breathe. His Stefan was gone. His brother was changed. He'd never have either back as they'd been, so where did that leave him? With another person he'd have to get to know and understand. Elena had left, after hearing their love making and he wished whole-heartedly that she was still here. He needed someone. So strange for him to feel that way. Stefan wasn't the only person who would be unable to revert back to his former self, Damon had changed too. Being with Stefan had made him want things again, long for things. He clutched his chest and tried to breathe again as he thought about what to do. He pulled his cell from his pocket and scrolled through his messages. So many from Stefan, but he couldn't delete them. He'd never delete them, ever. Then he came across Leyla's number and hit call.

"Damon? Is everything ok?" She answered immediately.

"Yes, he's…he's…" He exhaled, unsure how to continue.

"He's remembered everything. Joined everything together?" She said and he exhaled again in confirmation. "How is he?"

"Different." He said and she sighed.

"I'm so sorry Damon." She really meant it. "Are you ok?"

"No." He admitted shakily as he saw Stefan's bedroom light flick on in the house.

"Do you want to come over and talk?" She offered and he chewed his lip.

"Yeah."

"See you soon."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stefan walked around the Boarding House, trying to remember which of his things he'd burned or discarded. He punched his bedroom wall in frustration at having destroyed so much, but he remembered the fear of it all too. He felt like although his mind was no longer being torn apart, his heart still was and it was agony. So many of the things that he'd cherished were gone or destroyed, including his relationships. He didn't know what to do, where to start repairing the damage.

He couldn't even think about Damon right now.

He walked down the stairs and looked around for his old cell phone. Had it been destroyed too? He couldn't recall. Thank god Damon had gone berserk when he'd tried to come back and burn every last possession he owned. He shook his head at the memory and rubbed his eyes.

Damon.

No he couldn't deal with this right now. He grabbed his jacket and threw it on, heading out to find his car. Thankfully the other version of him had loved vintage cars too much to destroy his Aston. He jumped inside and turned on the ignition, feeling comforted by the familiar whine of the engine. He headed out towards the Grill, hoping to find some normality there.

When he walked inside he looked around and spotted Caroline. His stomach clenched as he remembered the way he'd treated her yesterday. He hadn't known how much she had tried to stop he and Damon…He shook it out of his head and sucked in a deep breath, heading over to her.

"Hey." He stopped by her table and she looked up at him, her eyes widening. "Can I sit with you?"

"Yeah." She said confused and stared at him as he sat down and removed his jacket. "Stefan?" She asked and he gave a small smile and clasped his hands in front of him.

"The one and only." He said and she searched his face. "The only one." He repeated and she chewed her lip.

"You remember."

He nodded and cleared his throat as he caught Matt's attention at the bar.

"Are you…are you ok?" She stumbled and he gave a weak smile and shrugged. "Sorry, blonde question." She scolded herself and he reached out and squeezed her hand.

"Thanks."

"What for?"

"For being my friend. I was such a dick yesterday. I didn't know."

She nodded and smiled.

"It's ok. You were hurt and afraid."

"I should have known you would have tried to stop it." He said, swallowing hard and she looked down at the table.

"I tried. I thought it was a crazy mistake." She admitted and he nodded in agreement. "I didn't realise how much you both lo..."

"Doesn't matter. You were right." He interrupted and smiled when Matt appeared.

"Stefan? How you doing?" Matt asked and he smiled.

"Good. Back to normal. Can I have some chilli fries and a beer?"

"A beer? Yeah, coming right up." Matt said surprised and Stefan gave a small frown as to why he would sound surprised. "It's good to have you back man."

"Thanks."

Stefan watched him go back to the bar and begin pouring a beer.

"Wow, Stefan drinks caveman beer." Caroline giggled and he smiled in surprise and frowned again.

"What's so caveman about that?"

"You never drink beer." She giggled again and he raised his eyebrows as he thought about that.

He'd drank beer plenty of times. He loved beer. What was she talking about? One time he'd drank so many that he could barely hold the drumsticks…His eyes widened in alarm and he gripped the table.

"Stefan what's wrong?" Caroline grabbed his hands in concern and he shook his head and panted a little. "Stefan, tell me. Talk it out."

"I'm…I don't like beer." He blurted and she raised her eyebrows. "That was…"

Her expression softened as she realised that the beer was from young Stefan's life.

"It's ok Stefan, it's just beer. Ok?" She squeezed his hands and he calmed at her logic. "It's just beer."

He nodded and relaxed as Matt came up and sat the drink down in front of him. He stared at it.

"It's not going to bite you. If you like it, drink it." She advised and he lifted it, taking a sip.

It did taste good. Strange how he'd always loathed it before. Now he suddenly liked it just because his imposter had? What else was going to change now? He drank it slowly while she watched him. His chilli fries arrived and he gobbled them down hungrily as she giggled.

"Hungry?" She asked and he nodded. "You want to hunt?"

He paused as he thought on that. He hadn't had to hunt for a long time. He couldn't remember the last time. He'd been drinking from the vein since he'd come back from the safe. Human blood. His stomach gurgled as he thought on the luxury of that and she raised an eyebrow.

"You had a sweet deal in that town."

"Yeah." He said and finished the last of his fries with a gulp of beer.

"Are you going to go back?"

"Huh?"

"Are you going back? To your apartment, your workshop?" She prompted and he shook his head and sat back.

"Really?"

"Why would I?" He seemed perplexed.

"Well, you…" She trailed off as she tried to think. "You were so happy there, with your band and the cars."

"That's not me Care." He gave a small smile. "Up to my elbows in grease all day? Banging away on some drums on a stage for a bunch of drunken people?"

She blushed and frowned. She'd had a good time there. Stefan had loved that place. He raised his eyebrows at her.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just, it's just the happiest I've seen you for a long time, even though it wasn't completely you." She stumbled and he sighed. "It's just a shame to leave it all behind."

"I've already lost a year of my life in a box and then three months to an alter ego. I'm done wasting time. It's time to get my life on track again."

"You're really not going to keep any of it?" She asked seriously and he tensed and avoided her eyes.

"Care, leave it." He said coldly and she gave a tight smile and drank from her glass, trying to return his good mood.

"So, getting back on track. Where do we start?" She said chirpy and he looked at her warily.

"We?"

"Well if you want to start over again and spend time figuring out what you wanna do by yourself rather than consult with your highly motivated, highly organised, OCD best friend…" She teased, rolling her eyes as he chuckled and nodded.

"Ok, ok. You've made your point."

She grinned at him.

"Where do you want to start?"

"Well, I have no clothes left, so we should start there." He grumbled.

"Ok, so we head to your apartment and…"

"No." He said nervously and she paused.

"But, you do have a ton of clothes back there and some other stuff. Don't you wanna...?"

"No. I can't go back there."

"Stefan, I get it ok, but the reason you almost liquefied your brain was because you wouldn't face things. It's time to take the pin out now." She said softly and he licked his lips and looked at her anxiously. "I can go for you if you want, but we are in a recession and you had a lot of nice clothes back there." She teased, trying to make him laugh.

He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands.

"Fine. I'm not going in there though."

"Ok. You can wait in the car like my getaway driver." She smiled and he let a small smile grace his lips too. "Let's roll daddio.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damon had curled up on Leyla's lap, feeling ridiculous and weak for all of 5 seconds before his emotions got the better of him and he closed his eyes and let tears come. He hated crying, loathed how it made him feel afterwards but these tears were allowed. Hell he owed them to the universe. Leyla said nothing about them, she simply stroked his hair and held him quietly.

"What are you going to do now? Are you going to stay with him?" She asked.

"I said I wouldn't leave him. Unless, he wants me to." He mumbled into the fabric of her jeans.

"He will remember everything now, if you give him some time, things could get better again."

"I don't know." He admitted. "He looked at me like a stranger earlier."

"You need to stay here tonight?"

"No, I'm fine."

"You sure? Maybe it'd be good for both of you."

Damon rolled onto his back and looked up at her. She stroked his cheeks free of tears and gave a sad shake of her head.

"Damon with tears. Here I thought you were the one who made others cry." She teased light-heartedly and he gave a watery smile. "He changed you."

He nodded and she smiled.

"He changed me too. He had that effect on people."

Damon nodded and sighed.

"He's still in there, he's not gone." She consoled and Damon sat up slowly.

"I'd give anything to talk to him. Just five minutes." He said sadly.

"Call him."

"I can't."

She sighed and nodded. It was best not to push either of them right now. It could do more harm.

"I gotta go." He stood up and she rose behind him. "I need to, just…" He trailed off and she smiled and nodded.

"Call me anytime Damon." She said and he hugged her.

She held him back in surprise. He'd never hugged her before. He was normally embarrassed by shows of affection. Him laying his head in her lap had been enough of an earth-shattering development. She gave him a squeeze.

"Thank you." He whispered, pulling away and she nodded.

He jumped into his Camaro and turned on the ignition. He didn't know where to go. If he went home, Stefan might be there and he wasn't sure he could take any silent treatment or accusations. It was too raw for him. He felt in his pocket for his special package and patted the pocket securely. At least he still had this, if all else fell apart, he had this. Not that he would enjoy it now, not without Stef. He sighed and pulled out of her driveway. He got to a junction and paused, thinking. He closed his eyes and exhaled. He wanted Stef. He wanted to know that part of his brother was still him, remembered him, felt that love somewhere inside of him even if he couldn't admit it. He needed to know it was there regardless.

He shook his head and swallowed, heading towards Stefan's apartment. It'd make him feel a little better if he could smell him, touch things that were his. He pulled up sharply when he saw Carolines' car parked out front and he turned off the engine. A small bubble of anger filled him. Why was she here? Why was she disrupting Stef things? He knew it was silly to feel like this but it almost felt as though Stef's shrine was being vandalised or trampled on. No!

He got out of his car and marched towards the apartment, climbing the stairs by the workshop as he shouted her name. He walked into the lounge and she was standing with a bag full of clothing. She stopped short and paled when she saw his expression.

"What do you think you're doing?" He growled and she gulped nervously.

"Stefan just needs…"

"No."

"Damon he needs some clothes…"

"I said no!" He shouted and she stepped back. "They don't belong to him, they're…"

"Who's?" Stefan's voice boomed from behind him and he whirled in surprise. "A ghost? I seem to remember my credit card being used either way, don't you brother?"

Damon moved back from him warily.

"What are you doing here?" Stefan raised his eyebrows.

He was as cool as a cucumber.

"Maybe we should come back and do this later." Caroline squeaked, feeling guilty and caught in the middle.

"No, Care. This is my apartment is it not? You're name isn't on the lease is it Damon? We didn't actually get married did we?"

Damon looked down at the ground and swallowed his heartache as Stefan folded his arms calmly.

"Didn't think so." Stefan nodded to Caroline to continue and she flicked her eyes over to Damon for a second before she zipped up the bag.

She moved around them both, keeping her head down and headed down to her car, leaving Damon tense and breathing erratically. Stefan looked at him.

"Don't do this to yourself. I'm not coming back here and I'm not going to turn back into that guy Damon."

Damon swallowed and looked at him grieved, his eyes filling.

"What are you going to do?" He croaked and Stefan sighed and looked around.

"I don't know. Move on. Get back to the way things were."

"And you can do that?"

"Yes." Stefan said simply and Damon bit his lip. "What did you think was going to happen? That I'd jump into your arms? You're my brother Damon and we were sleeping together. It's so beyond gross I can't even deal with it. I can barely look at you." He wrinkled his nose and Damon exhaled and clenched his fists.

"Don't you feel anything?" Damon fought not to sound bitter. "You remember it all. All of it."

"Yeah I remember." Stefan paused. "But it doesn't change anything. I can't give you what you want. The best I can give you is not to blame you forever."

Damon gave a fake chuckle and leaned back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling as he composed himself.

"I know I pushed you into it. I pursued you, but…"

"But it doesn't matter does it? You'll never forgive me despite that." Damon looked at him and Stefan scratched his head and exhaled. "I wish I could give you some of my memories."

"I have enough in full Technicolor to give me nightmares for a hundred years Damon. When are you leaving?"

Damon squinted at him in disbelief.

"Fifty years remember?" Stefan prompted.

"I'm not leaving."

"Why not?"

"Because I told you I wouldn't leave you no matter what. You remember."

"Are you serious?" Stefan almost laughed in disbelief. "Damon, I don't…it's not going to happen again."

"I don't care."

"Save yourself some trauma and just run will you? It's what you're good at!" Stefan snapped and turned to leave, when Damon reached out and grabbed him, spinning him back around to face him.

"Stefan wait!" He said and squeezed his arms frantically, searching his face.

Stefan swallowed nervously and tried to avoid his eyes. Damon made a sound of grief and pressed their mouths together desperately. Stefan fought to push him back, but Damon gave him the best kiss he could as he grunted in heartbreak, until Stefan pushed him off and moved back panting.

"Don't ever do that again Damon." He panted, but there was more fear in his eyes than anger and Damon searched his face.

"Till the stars burn out, remember?" Damon whispered.

Stefan shook his head.

"Stef remember?" Damon choked and Stefan's eyes filled with tears.

"No."

"Stefan please…you must still feel something…" Damon begged, stepping closer again when Stefan punched him hard in the jaw and sent him tumbling back into the wall.

"Fuck you, brother." Stefan spat and left him lying there.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43 TNB

Damon didn't return to the boarding house and Stefan was glad. He tried to put the kiss out of his mind and feel revolted by it. Revolted was good. It was good way to feel. It kept him straight and clear-headed, unaffected by the emotions swirling inside of him. He was so confused and each day it only got worse instead of better. He loved Damon, reached out for him in his sleep and then cursed himself and rocked traumatised that his body should still respond this way and when he was awake and level headed he wanted to beat him to within an inch of his life.

He tried to talk to Caroline about it. She was a good sounding board but even she didn't have an easy answer for him. None of them did and he could tell that they felt bad for Damon too. That annoyed him. No one but Elena had ever really cared about Damon before so what had changed?

He got his head down and began another journal, hoping it would help him. The boarding house was so large and empty with no one living here now that he felt lonely. He had no one to talk to at night when his mind was most active and thanks to his erratic burning of his books – he had scarcely anything to read either. He had actually gone in search of anything in Damon's room that Damon might have hidden from him when he'd been on a burning fest.

He was surprised to find a few things under the bed that were his. Clearly Damon had known just how important a few of these things were to him and had made sure the other him hadn't seen them. He sat on the floor in Damon's bedroom and fought tears as he pulled one book out after another. They were his favourite books. How had Damon known that? He looked around the barren room – devoid of most of Damon's own things and he sighed. Damon had been close to being completely moved out and into their apartment, but he'd taken the time to hide these things?

Stefan's heart fluttered and he exhaled and clenched his jaw together fighting it.

"No. He's my brother." He groaned to himself and put his head in his hands. "I am not…"

He got up, collecting his books and went back to his room slamming the door tight. He shook himself out of it and lay in his bed to read. A few days turned into a few weeks and there was still no contact between them. Stefan's cell wrang a lot from the numbers of his new friends, all worried and concerned about him. He tried to ignore them, but they had been his friends. They didn't understand why he'd moved out and left the band without their most important member. They were hurt and angry and he couldn't blame them.

He'd gone back to trying to hunt in the woods again. The blood tasted fowl and it was like starting all over again. After a few days though, he stopped throwing it up and accepted that this was life. This was his life, back on track just like before, except there was no Elena. Elena and Caroline were living in an apartment near campus now that they were half way through college and they didn't come home as often as they once had. They had their own lives now. He was happy for them and they did keep in touch. Bonnie had decided to spend a year travelling for real this time and Jeremy was getting ready to go to college in the Fall too. Soon, it would just be Stefan and Matt left. Tyler had gone off to search for more werewolf packs he could join and train and that was everyone. Strange how empty the town felt now that so many of them had moved on in pursuit of the next stage of their lives.

Stefan grieved for the year that he'd lost with these people, for everything that he'd missed. Matt had regaled him with the story of how they'd defeated Silas and all the craziness that happened in between and every fibre in Stefan's body wished he'd been there. He'd found the safe in the basement and had melted it down immediately, selling it off for scrap. He never wanted to see it again. What got to him in particular where the traces of blood still inside from when he and Damon had sealed themselves inside. When he'd thought Damon was going to die and he wanted to lie with him despite it. He'd thought he'd spent days holding a corpse, when in fact there had been a miracle.

He could write a book about all of the things that had happened in those few short months when he'd been Stef the drummer guy. Maybe he would, save from some of the details, of course. He had been truly happy for some of it.

He was driving down to the Grill one afternoon when the car broke down. He sighed in annoyance and got out, lifting the hood.

"Great!" He slammed his hand on the metal.

He pulled out his cell to call for a tow when he paused. He was a mechanic – he had been a mechanic.

Best in the state

That's what she'd said. He chewed his lip and tried to focus. He'd spent a lot of time trying to forget about his newer life, scared it would overwhelm him and change him, but it could be really useful right now.

"Ok." He mumbled to himself and rolled up his sleeves.

He looked in again and tried to remember. He'd never been that good at this before. Sure he could fix bits and pieces but he certainly hadn't had the skills to be best in the state. He remembered just having a feel for it when he moved to the little village. Perhaps he was trying too hard just now and he needed to relax. The old him had had no real stresses. He'd always felt quite calm and optimistic. Maybe he should try and adopt that a bit more. It wouldn't change him in a negative way to be a little more like the guy in that respect.

He took a deep breath and began to work. A sense of Zen-like quality came over him as he tried to remain easy going and focussed and he found that it wasn't quite as footery as he remembered. After ten minutes of tinkering around the car hummed and the engine started again. He laughed in delight and wiped his jeans with his hands, before remembering the grease. He frowned when he saw they were ruined and huffed at himself. He'd kept overalls and old jeans for when he was in the workshop. He could always go and get them, so he could…

No. What was he talking about? He shook his head and climbed into his car. He'd fixed it this time and that was fun but he didn't want to make a habit out of it. Proving he could still do it was good enough. He smiled to himself, proud as he headed the rest of the way into town. Matt was off with the flu today, so he sat a little bored by himself. He thought that this was what he wanted – to get everything back to normal. He wanted Damon gone so he could forget about everything that had happened and he wanted everyone else to forget too so he could just be himself again. He'd gotten his wish and yet here he was, feeling as though he'd been left behind. How had that happened? Truth was that he couldn't recapture the year that he'd lost and it was becoming more and more evident to him. It was gone and everyone had moved on in that without him. He was supposed to be moving on, but where to? With whom? Doing what?

He felt so lost amongst his most familiar things and places. Even his room didn't feel the same anymore. The boarding house felt like a haunted old building. Empty, silent and missing something important. Maybe he should move out? Maybe it was time to sell the old building and get something new. Really move on now. He could send Damon his share. He might have to discuss it with him first though and that thought made his stomach churn. He paid his bill and decided to go for a walk as he thought it through.

It was time to move on. There was nothing left here for him. He had no one to protect, no big bad enemy hiding around the corner anymore. He had no real obligations to anyone. He should go to Hawaii or something. Live in a Yurt just like he'd joked with Lexi about. He smiled to himself at that memory and wondered what she'd have to say to him right now.

"What should I do Lex?" He whispered, knowing she'd be with him, even though he couldn't see her.

He wandered into the old cemetery as he thought of her. So many of his loved ones gone or occupied with their own journeys. He noticed the door to their family vault slightly ajar and he took a deep breath and walked towards it. The last time he'd been in here he'd turned it off because he'd read about his life from the journals and he'd tried to kiss Damon. He shook his head as he approached the door. Damon had been so horrified and confused by it. He hadn't asked for it.

He pushed the door open and walked inside, pausing when he saw a shrine to himself. He gaped at it and moved to touch it. Damon hadn't told him about this. When had he done this? He reached over and lifted a photograph of them both, taken when they were human boys. He remembered this being taken by father. He smiled and remembered that day, setting it down. There had been candles burned down to the wick here and flowers which had long since expired. When Damon had done this, it had clearly been before he'd gotten his memories back. He frowned, trying to think when that could have been. Was that why Damon had kept popping back home some nights to supposedly clean up and pack more things? Had this been what he had really been doing?

Stefan felt his chest tighten and he caught his breath. Damon had loved him and missed him, as his brother. Clearly he had mourned him as an entirely separate person, while he made his way back to his lover afterwards. He didn't know how to feel about that. He sat down and put his head in his hands as his eyes filled with tears. Everything was so complicated. The confusion wasn't getting any clearer with time. He'd kept his feelings about this so pushed to the back of his mind lately but they were so forceful in this moment that he let them out and sobbed. It actually felt good, which he wasn't expecting.

He cried for short spells and calmed himself, before finding other reminders of Damon's brotherly love inside of the vault that made him cry all over again – half finished bourbon glasses where one was full and the other had been drained of most the liquid in toast, a few of his journals hidden behind some loose bricks to protect them from prying eyes and a pair of cufflinks Stefan realised immediately had been Damon's first gift to him on his sixteenth birthday. How the hell had Damon found these? He thought he'd lost them when they were newly in transition. Damon must have held onto them, not being able to give them back as they had parted ways with Stefan's ripper behaviour.

He stayed there all day, crying and loving his hopeless, infuriating big brother – whom he loved, so much it killed him. Some of that love must have contributed to the mess they were in. Some of his natural inclinations and trust came from an instinctive feel for people when he'd had amnesia. He'd taken to Caroline quickly. Yes he'd been told that she was his best friend and although he'd been annoyed at the way she spoke to Damon at first, he'd always known, felt, that he could trust her. Perhaps some of the love and trust he felt for his brother had seeped through also and been the catalyst for the romantic love he'd felt grow. It had to be a factor.

He'd driven home that night, tired and emotional and had taken to the library to read some of the books and research papers that Damon had told him he'd read when he'd been trying to figure out why he couldn't remember. It took him a while to find them but when he did he was in for another surprise. Written on top of lots of the information were Damon's notes – observations and ideas for how to help him. He cried again and drank a half bottle of whiskey to himself as he read, in Damon's handwriting, of his search for helping heal the rift in his brain and restore his memory. Damon had wanted to help him remember. He hadn't given up. He'd tried.

What had made him stop trying? When and how and why did Damon begin to love him romantically? How did that even happen when you thought of someone as your flesh and blood – your damaged flesh and blood? He sat back in his armchair as he pondered on it. Damon had told him he'd been reading about his condition, when they'd been held in that cell and tortured. After they were rescued, Damon had come to him at his apartment only a few days later and stayed the night. That night had been their first real kiss and touching and he recalled now, just how difficult it had been for him to allow the touching. The kiss had been an experiment but the sucking, the sucking he'd stopped because he'd been afraid.

What changed him from being his brother to someone who wanted to experiment in that short time? The torture? They hadn't fiddled with his brain as far as they'd been aware. Perhaps the trauma of it all? Stefan thought back to those horrific days – the screaming, the pain, Damon being punished horrifically and cowering. Damon never cowered, but he had. He'd done more than that, he'd lain in Stefan's lap and held him fiercely as he wept in terror. He'd slept with his face pressed to Stefan's stomach for comfort. He'd tried to defend him with his last morsel of strength. That wasn't really a new development but it had been for someone he didn't really know all that well.

That was it.

Damon had made it clear just how little he knew him at that point. He'd known what his brother would do or say in any given situation but as this new person, he had no idea. Despite that he had sought and accepted the comfort he'd been offered and tried to defend this new person to the death too. That must have been the defining moment where Damon let go of Stefan Salvatore and saw instead a person who loved him and Damon wanted to protect him.

Stefan exhaled and closed his eyes. How long should Damon be punished for? Forever? How long should he have tried to get his brother back when there was no indication after months that he would remember? Even when he got that first memory back, Damon didn't panic. He comforted him, reassured him and told him everything was going to be fine, when he must have realised that he could potentially be at the beginning of the collapse of everything they'd build together.

Damon had known that he was up shit creak, but instead of immediately pulling away to save his own ass, he'd stayed and comforted him. He'd accepted the consequence that came with him remembering and had arrived just in time with Bonnie to stop him erasing everything by mistake. If they hadn't gotten to him that night, he'd be a vegetable. Split personality was a much smaller price to pay and of course it was Damon's insistence and threat to leave that had made Stefan heal his mind again. He'd never have done if Damon hadn't have said he'd leave and of that fact he couldn't deny to himself.

"Damon." He whispered in anguish.

He'd put so much blame onto him for everything. Damon was an easy scapegoat for it. He always had been. He wore it like a badge of honour. For a change this badge wasn't rightfully his. He didn't deserve all of this blame. Should they have become a couple and slept together, probably not, but should Damon alone take the blame for it? No. No way in hell. Stefan knew he was one for sometimes hiding from his feelings, but when he was wrong he admitted it and he was wrong. He needed to fix this somehow.

He stood up, staggering from the booze and grabbed his car keys. He probably shouldn't drive but he didn't care. He wanted to see him. Where was he though? He paused at the door. He had no idea where he was. He hadn't heard from him in weeks. His old apartment was where he'd left him. Maybe he should start there. He could call Leyla too. Would Damon still talk to her? Why would he bother, she was of no importance anymore now that he wasn't there. Damon probably didn't even remember her name.

He headed out in his car and practically zig zagged along the back roads until he saw the apartment up ahead. No sign of any cars out front and no lights. He parked and staggered up to the workshop door, remembering he kept a spare key under a slab. He retrieved it and opened the shutter as quietly as he could. He flipped the lights on and looked around. Some of the cars he'd been working on still sat abandoned in the state he'd left them in. It was just as well no one was coming to collect them. A few of them Damon had brought home for him to restore and sell.

As ran his hand over the hood of an old Merc and smiled to himself. He had enjoyed this job actually, now that he admitted it. There had been something therapeutic about bringing something back to life again. Who needed vampire blood when you had grease, a spanner and some hard work? He walked around, inhaling the smell of the wax when he caught sight of the shelving unit, still lying in disrepair where it had fallen when he and Damon had had the most passionate sex he could remember. He grew a little tense as he remembered it. He shouldn't be remembering it as the best sex ever. It was his brother, but…it really had been something. He blushed as he realised he was feeling aroused thinking about it. He shook his head and took a deep breath. He wasn't here to re-capture their romance. He was here to apologise and try to re-build their relationship as brothers.

He climbed the stairs and opened the door to the apartment, surprised that it was open and stepped in. The smell of alcohol took his breath away and he turned on the light. Damon was lying on his face on the sofa – his legs sprawled and barely on the arm of it as he snored. He was fully clothed and still holding a bottle of bourbon in his hand. Stefan sighed and shook his head. There were a lot of bottles next to him. He moved to the kitchen and found more empty bottles littering the place. Clearly Damon was drinking away his heartache. Stefan felt his guilt over his part in that increase with every bottle he collected and placed in a recycling bag under the sink.

He felt the urge to tidy the place for some reason. As though it would reduce his feelings of responsibility. He removed the bottle from Damon's hand and Damon whispered his name, still asleep. He paused, afraid of him waking in this state, but Damon made a sad sound and fell into deep sleep again. Stefan was on his way back to the kitchen when he noticed the bedroom door was closed. Come to think of it, why wasn't Damon sleeping in the bed? Curiosity got the better of him and he opened the door and turned on the light.

His eyes widened at the sight. Everything was exactly as it had been when he'd left. The sheets hadn't been touched at all and still remained as evidence of their love making. His half finished book was still on his bedside table, open at the page he'd ear marked. There was a glass of bourbon beside it with his lip prints and fingerprints on it. His heart felt heavy as he realised what this was. This was the last reminder, the last bit of evidence that Stefan, Damon's lover had ever existed. Everything in this room was a shrine – just as personal and full of love as the shrine in the family vault had been. Damon was mourning two people still. Evidently, he didn't even want to sleep in their bed for risk of removing some of Stefan's scent here.

Stefan closed the door quietly and turned back to look at Damon again. He felt suddenly, completely sober. When had that happened? Just ten minutes ago he'd been swerving all over the road but now he could catch a fly with chopsticks, Mister Miyagi-style.

"Oh, Damon." He sighed and closed his eyes.

What was he going to do? He opened his eyes again and took in how uncomfortable a position Damon was in. He went to the kitchen and opened his pantry door. He had kept a blanket in here for when some of the band stayed or crashed after gigs. He'd loved those nights when they'd mess around and compose into the early hours. His chest tightened when he thought of how cruel it had been for him to just abandon them all. He should text them. At least then he'd have some friends to hang out with.

He pulled the blanket free and moved over to Damon carefully. This sofa was actually a sofa bed but he'd never mentioned that to Damon because he'd wanted him to sleep with him. He shook his head embarrassed as he tried to pull the rest of it out from under Damon's legs without waking him. It began to pull out and he unfolded its legs to rest on the floor when Damon rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. He froze, caught in the act as Damon squinted at him.

"Stef?" He whispered and Stefan chewed his lip.

Damon was really drunk and half conscious. Now wasn't the time to have this conversation, he just needed to get him to sleep properly and he could come back in the morning.

"Stef is that you?" Damon sounded so upset and he nodded.

"It's me." He cooed and Damon exhaled as his eyes filled with tears.

"You've come home?"

"Yes, I'm home. Lift your legs." He said gently, urging Damon's movements as Damon stared at him and followed his instructions. "Up we go. Now lie back down ok?"

"I've missed you so much Stef." He reached for him and Stefan hesitated.

He was in dangerous territory here.

"Stef…" Tears fell down Damon's cheeks and Stefan moved to embrace him.

If he could calm him down, he could get him relaxed and tucked in so he would sleep. He'd figure out what to say to him in the morning. Damon kissed his neck and shoulder drunkenly, inhaling his smell and Stefan tensed as he tried not to respond.

"Love you, love you." Damon whispered and Stefan rubbed his back.

"I'm here, just sleep Damon. Time to sleep." He whispered back and lay him down flat as he pulled back and stroked the tears from his face.

Damon seemed a little calmer as he looked down at him, taking in how terrible he looked. He hadn't been taking care of himself at all. His skin was pale and thin. He must not have been feeding enough.

"Stef." He sighed and closed his eyes and Stefan shushed him and stroked through his hair.

Damon began to breathe deeply again and he stood up and lifted the blanket, laying it over him gently and placing a kiss on his forehead. Damon opened his eyes again as he drew away to stand up. Damon reached out and caught his arm as he moved away.

"Don't go."

"You need to sleep Damon. I'll come back tomorrow." Stefan cooed and Damon frowned.

"Don't leave me."

Stefan sighed at the look of desperation in his eyes. Drunk or not he was upset. Damon pulled him nearer, urging him to climb onto the sofa with him and sleep and Stefan hesitated again.

"Damon, I can't. We can't do this anymore remember?" He said sadly and Damon's face creased in pain as he realised who he was talking to.

"Brother." He said and Stefan gave a nod.

Damon released his arm slowly and watched him stand up again, his eyes wide and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled and looked down for his bourbon.

Stefan watched him fumble, confused as to its whereabouts.

"It was empty." He advised and Damon closed his eyes and gave a grieved sigh of pain. "You should sleep brother. You've had enough."

"There isn't enough in the world." Damon mumbled and turned on his side to hug himself. "Never enough to forget."

He turned on his other side and shook with silent sobs as Stefan felt his chest tight again. He wasn't sure what to do. He looked over at the clock on the cooker and saw that it was 5am. He was spent. What had he been thinking coming over here at this time in the morning? He chewed his lip and considered stripping the bed and sleeping there, but he couldn't help but feel like that would be a violation to Damon. Damon had preserved that room for weeks now and should he move anything he might tip Damon over the edge. Not that there was much more of an edge to tip him over. Clearly he had been living on the precipice.

Damon shivered and curled into the foetal position and Stefan exhaled and turned off the light. He'd pay for this tomorrow but right now, he'd just comfort him. He climbed onto the sofa behind him, careful not to touch him and Damon immediately stopped sobbing and calmed.

"Sleep Damon." He said gently and pulled the covers over both of them and Damon seemed to fall back to sleep, breathing deeply as his body relaxed and untangled.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44 TNB

Stefan oddly felt comforted by the sound of Damon breathing as he lay there and tried to sleep. Perhaps there was a part of him that missed having someone else in the bed. The past few weeks had been hard. He'd had nightmares about the safe and woke distressed. It felt strange for him to be alone and without someone to comfort him, but he wouldn't ask any of the girls to stay over. He had wanted them to think he was alright.

Now as he lay, keeping safely to his side of the sofa bed, he felt safe. He sighed and closed his eyes, falling gently to sleep. He was awoken by a feeling of warmth against his side and fingertips stroking his abdomen gently. It felt so nice and comforting, he sighed.

Damon leaned up on one elbow and stared down at him full of love and longing. Stefan had come home and helped him in to bed. Stefan was home and he hadn't come with an axe to kill him. He'd been gentle and kind to him even in his inebriated state. What did that mean? Could it be he'd forgiven him and was coming home to him? Stefan sighed and turned his head towards him and he felt his stomach burn. He wanted to touch him so badly. He leaned forward and brushed their lips together softly. Stefan made a small relaxed sound and he kissed him again, draping his arm over Stefan's abdomen lightly. Stefan opened his eyes and looked up at him. Damon brought his hand up and stroked the side of his face.

Stefan didn't push him away, he simply searched his face so Damon brought their lips together again softly. Stefan kissed back a little and Damon deepened their kiss. He wanted so badly to have him back. He wanted to kiss him till he was flushed and wanting and then make love to him to show him how much he'd missed him. He wanted that more than anything else.

Stefan kissed him back, slowly bringing his arms up to hold his back as Damon got lost in him, beginning to stroke down his back and up again, under his clothes so that he was in contact with his skin. Stefan knew he was being stupid allowing this but he felt so comfortable and in the moment. He'd felt so alone lately, everyone had things to do, their own lives and although they loved him and wanted to be around they had their own obligations. Damon's only thoughts were of him. Damon wanted him. He wanted to be with him, to comfort him and right now, he just wanted it. He wanted some attention. So he kissed back and closed his eyes as Damon sighed and held him like precious china.

"Love you." Damon whispered against his lips and he gave a small smile as Damon licked over his lip.

He opened his mouth and let Damon stroke his tongue with his. He remembered how good Damon was at kissing and he felt his body grow hot and aroused. No, he shouldn't get this way. Kissing was one thing but he shouldn't encourage this going any further. He made an effort to not tilt into him, like his body wanted as Damon slid his hands under his bottom and squeezed him. So familiar a caress and yet not. Not the way a brother should touch you. None of this was. Wasn't he supposed to be here to heal their bond as brothers? That had been his intention hadn't it? He heard all of the arguments echoed through his head but his body fought against the logic, simply wanting some release and love. He felt his eyes fill with tears of want and frustration and a tear slipped down his cheek as he fought with himself internally.

Damon moved down into his neck and kissed there and he exhaled a sob and pulled at his own hair. Damon kissed over his heart and whispered words of love to comfort him. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe. Was it so wrong to want this? Damon wanted him, his body needed something. How could this feel so wrong and so right at the same time? He didn't know what to do.

"Damon…" He croaked. "Stop. We can't." He said and Damon kissed down his stomach to his belly button.

He groaned and tilted into him, unable to help himself as his erection bulged there.

"I…" He croaked but didn't know what to say and Damon kissed his manhood through his jeans and unbuttoned them.

He should stop this now! He opened his mouth to argue when Damon took him into his warm mouth and he halted. Damon sucked him and kissed the tip gently, looking up at him for permission to continue and Stefan made a strangled sound. He sucked in a breath and flexed his hips again, so Damon gave a smile and took him into his mouth again. Stefan let his head fall back completely as he sighed and gyrated. No one had touched him like this since…since before he was himself again. He'd went on a few one night stands since Elena had been gone to college again. He'd just wanted someone to touch him intimately. He'd wanted to find some kind of connection with someone but it had just been quick sex with no emotion and it hadn't helped. He wasn't the kind of guy that could do just sex. It was empty and cheap without love.

He gasped as Damon worked him like he liked and ran both hands through Damon's hair as he moaned. God it felt so good. He could almost feel the love and devotion from the way Damon took care of him this way.

"Damon…Damon…" He panted, unsure whether it was meant as a warning, a refusal or to egg him on but either way Damon increased his efforts to make it as amazing as possible. "Uhh…Uh…!"

He panted and moaned loudly, unable to help himself and Damon rubbed his thumbs over the creases of muscle at his hipbones to anchor him, as Stefan arched them from the sofa bed and writhed. Stefan cried out, clenching fistfuls of Damon's hair in his hands as he climaxed violently down his throat and Damon continued to stroke his hips to calm him as he sobbed and began to deflate. He released his hair and threw both arms over his eyes as he wept and Damon kissed his stomach and lay his head there, stroking his fingers over Stefan's ribs until he calmed down.

"I'm sorry." Stefan cried. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

Damon sat up to look at him and he removed his arms from his face, wiping his face with the back of his hands.

"I didn't come here to do this." He sniffled and Damon frowned and withdrew a little from him. "Damon, I'm sorry."

Damon gave a brief nod, biting back his own tears as he climbed up from the sofa and moved through the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Stefan shed a few more tears and sat up, feeling terrible. He'd given Damon some hope that he wanted to be with him again by doing this and that wasn't why he was here. He was a terrible person. He put his face in his hands and breathed. Damon was hurting.

By the time Damon came out of the room again, Stefan had packed the sofa bed away and had tidied the lounge. He had the coffee machine on as Damon emerged, dressed and showered. He looked around and pulled his expression tight and blank. Stefan watched him go to the armchair that was Stefan's favourite, almost as though he was marking it as his territory now that his Stefan was gone.

"Coffee?" Stefan asked and he looked at him blankly.

"What are you doing here brother?" He sounded so calm now.

"I wanted to talk." Stefan said nervously.

Damon stared at him and he found himself making himself a coffee just to have something to do with his hands.

"I went to the vault." He said, flicking his eyes over to Damon, who lost his show of blankness for a fraction of a second as emotion flickered across his face in realisation. "You never told me you'd done that."

"It wasn't about you, back then." He said simply and Stefan chewed his lip.

"Thank you."

Damon averted his eyes, blushing slightly.

"It made me realise a few things."

Damon sighed and closed his eyes.

"That's what you were doing those times you left me to go back there for the night, wasn't it?"

Damon gave a shrug and continued not to look at him.

"I found my books hidden under your bed too."

"You're welcome." Damon gave a forced smile.

"You, never really stopped thinking about me did you?"

Damon finally looked at him as though deliberating how to answer.

"You were my brother." He said quietly and Stefan nodded.

"I still am." Stefan took a sip of his coffee and screwed up his face at its bitterness.

He went into a cupboard and took out some sugar, putting a few spoonfuls in as Damon watched with interest. He began to sip from it again, satisfied with its taste now and frowned when he saw how closely Damon was watching him.

"What?"

"Sugar?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Nothing." Damon mumbled and Stefan thought about it.

He looked down at his cup and realised he'd put milk in too. Before all of this had happened he hated sugar and milk in coffee. It had polluted the real taste of it, but now…now he preferred it this way. This was just like the beer moment. He sighed and looked over at him again.

"I guess, I've changed more than I thought I would through all of this."

"You wanted to talk?" Damon bated, clearly uncomfortable with his presence here and Stefan sighed unhappily.

"I just, wanted to tell you I'm sorry about how I've behaved. None of this was your fault. I was just as culpable for what happened between us. I was a douche and I'm sorry."

Damon clenched his fists on the armchair and sighed, staring at the wall.

"Clearly, you didn't take advantage of me. I was a willing participant."

"Is that all?" Damon grunted and Stefan sat his coffee down in surprise.

"What?"

"Is that all you came to say?"

"What, sorry isn't good enough for you? You want me to get down on my knees and beg you?" Stefan said incredulously and Damon shook his head. "You know I may have been wrong to put all of the blame on you but you're hardly an innocent here either."

Damon gave a low chuckle and Stefan clenched his jaw.

"Go home Stefan. I don't need your apologies or your pity or whatever. Always the damn moper aren't you? Thinking that everyone's pain is your responsibility – well it isn't." Damon said bluntly and looked him in the eye. "It's my pain, mine. It doesn't belong to you, I own it, just like my actions and I don't regret a single fucking one of them. I'd do it again." He was so bitter and angry still, it took Stefan aback.

"I came here to try and make amends for Christ's sake!"

"Or to clear a guilty conscience. What's wrong Stefan, everyone gone back off to college? Feeling lonely? So you came here last night to try and fix me so I could be your brother again, so I could move back home and play happy wonder twins again?"

"What the hell is your problem?!" Stefan shouted angrily. "I'm trying to tell you I miss you. I don't want us to hate each other anymore because of what happened."

"That's just the problem Stefan. I don't hate you. I never hated you. I love you so much I can't bear to even be around you if I can't touch you." Damon snarled and Stefan huffed in amazement. "I fucking love you." He growled. "No amount of brotherly bonding is going to reverse that ok? So why don't you just get the hell out of here? Find a new partner in crime."

Stefan stood gobsmacked at his words and Damon huffed, his eyes full of rage and loathing. Stefan held the countertop and hung his head, breathing to calm himself.

"I do love you Damon." He mumbled and Damon chuckled again.

"Save it."

"You think you're the only one hurting? You say I'm the martyr!"

"What the hell do you want from me?!" Damon stood up and they glared at each other. "Besides from a quick blow job."

"Don't, don't act like that was all I came here for." Stefan shook his head.

"Wasn't it? No one else at home to comfort you, so you came here knowing how I feel. Who's taking advantage of who now?" Damon countered and Stefan felt his blood boil.

"I didn't…I didn't mean for that to happen."

"What did you think was going to happen? You show up here in the middle of the night for the first time in nearly two months and you climb into bed with me. What the hell was I supposed to think?" Damon said appalled and Stefan gulped down his guilt and shook his head again.

"I'm sorry."

"Get out. Get out and run back to Mystic Falls where you belong brother. Don't come back here again."

Stefan looked at him, feeling desperate. He was tired of being alone. He just wanted his brother back, was that too much to ask?

"So you're just going to stay here with a ghost? Not sleeping in that bed, because the last time we were in it we made love?"

Damon flinched a little at his use of the term 'made love'. Was that because Stefan still thought of it that way? He swallowed and clenched his jaw.

"Just go."

"No. You can't hide here forever, you're going to have deal with everything like I have eventually. Grow a pair brother!"

"You think that's what you've done? Dealt with everything? That's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my life Stefan! Look at you! You're a mess. You let me suck you off because you were so desperate for some affection, even though you don't want me that way anymore." Damon gestured towards his dishevelled appearance and Stefan bristled.

"You haven't dealt with shit." He snapped. "You've pushed it all back into your head and pretended like you were back to normal. I know you brother. That's your way."

"And you're living with a ghost! Drinking yourself to sleep because you can't move on either. Don't stand there and try to pretend that you're better than me. You're an eternal fucking mess Damon!"

"Not anymore I'm not! I have a life here Stefan!"

"What are you talking about?" Stefan laughed cruelly.

"I have friends here who still give a damn despite the fact that you abandoned them all once you got your memory back."

"What?" Stefan felt a lump in his throat.

His friends? His friends from here? Damon nodded knowingly.

"I live here now. I might not be ready to deal with that room yet but I will, because I am moving on."

"You can't be serious. What the hell are you going to do here? Join my band? Re-enact my life here?"

"I don't have to. I was part of it too. We've all helped each other get through not having you here. Leyla's helped me, even though you didn't even respond to one damned text from her. That is shitty of you brother. Unbelievably shitty." He scolded and Stefan felt his chest tighten.

"I…it was too hard. I just wanted to go back to normal."

"Like I said. That's your M.O. Well it's not mine anymore. I like who I was when we were together. I finally felt like I could be happy and I'm not going to give that up and come running back to Mystic Falls with you to play happy families just to make you feel better." Damon moved to the sofa and picked up Stefan's jacket, tossing it at him.

Stefan caught it and looked down at it as he tried to hold himself together.

"So get out and don't come back. I don't need you as a constant reminder."

"What about our agreement?" Stefan choked and looked at him full of emotion.

"What agreement?" Damon crossed his arms defensively.

"That we'd take fifty years and try again."

Damon smirked and shook his head.

"I've already told you. I won't leave you, you'll always know where to find me, but I can't play a part for you Stefan. I won't be your puppet, just because you need something from me."

Stefan bit back tears and nodded. He looked at Damon again and saw he resolute he was. This wasn't how he'd planned this to go at all. Why had he been stupid enough to let Damon touch him? Why had he done that?! He turned and headed down the stairs to the workshop. Damon didn't follow him. He stopped at the hood of the Merc and exhaled. He and Damon had had great sex on this hood. He could see it so clearly in his mind as he stroked his fingertips over the metal. He'd been so happy. He might never feel that happy again. Maybe Damon was right. He should grow a pair and really try and deal with his emotions, figure out why he was feeling the way he was. He'd have to do it on his own though and nothing scared him more than that.

He walked sadly towards his car and climbed inside, looking up at the lights on in the apartment. Damon looked out of the window at him and then closed the blinds and he exhaled and stared the ignition. He had to get out of here and think.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45 TNB

Leyla was furious. She ranted and raved all through the sound check as Damon sat back and let her unwind. Maybe he shouldn't have told her about Stefan's midnight visit, but he told her most things these days.

"What the hell's he playing at? Why didn't he stop you?" She seethed, stopping to look at him before softening and sitting down beside him. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I'm glad it happened actually. There were some things I needed to say to him, that just didn't feel right other times." He shrugged and drank from his glass.

She nodded and squeezed his knee.

"Well, I'm glad you gave him what for. Now you can forget about him."

Damon shifted in his seat as she said that and she looked at him apologetically.

"I didn't mean that, I just mean…"

"I know. You're right though. I have to look ahead." He swallowed and sighed in admittance. "Maybe meet someone else."

"There's no rush Damon. I just mean, that maybe it's time to clear that bedroom." She said gently, taking his hand in hers and he looked at her full of emotion.

"He's not coming back. You know that now."

"Yeah." He nodded but his heart squeezed painfully.

He couldn't bear the thought of removing the last traces of Stef from their bedroom. He knew he had to but he just couldn't conceive of how he was going to do it. The band indicated to him they were going to start. Since Stefan had departed and left them without a drummer, they'd had to scale down and do acoustic sets. Their music was still popular and sounded good anyway, so at least Stefan hadn't screwed that up for them.

Damon got up and went on the stage to introduce them. He enjoyed being part of this all still. It made him feel like he was connected to them all, part of the circle. A few of their regulars wolf whistled at him as usual and he shot a few girl groupies his best come to bed eyes as he spoke. Damn he was good at getting the female crowds going. In fact the band had found that their fan base had doubled since Damon had begun to be involved in the sets. He couldn't sing or play instruments but the fact that he would be there with them and help them set up and pack away was enough to draw more women into the bar. Shame he had no eyes for them.

He stepped down off of the stage to giggling girls who touched him as he went past, smouldering and sat back down with Leyla.

"Man, I didn't think you'd make it back through that crowd with your clothes still on." She joked and he chuckled and shrugged. "Damn you're good."

"It's all in the charm princess." He smiled and they sat back to watch the gig.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stefan was undeniably miserable. He couldn't climb out of his rut. Damon had made it clear that he would never be his brother again and if that was all Stefan wanted from him, then he should leave him alone. It wasn't fair. How had he ended up being the bad guy here, when he'd been the one who'd lost a year of his life and then had his brain split into two personalities? How was any of this fair?

Damon promised he'd never hurt him, that he'd never leave him, but he'd lied. He was hurt and alone right now. The longer he thought on it all the more angry he became. He was not going to be made to feel this way! He began cleaning the boarding house, just to have something to do to occupy his mind when he came across what looked like a letter from a lawyer, dated a few months ago. He lifted it up and opened it.

"In response to sale of land, cited at address…"

What the fuck? Damon had sold some of their land and not told him? When the hell had this happened? What was he playing at? Was he trying to get some of his share for the property by selling it off, without even bothering to talk to him about it first. Who did he think he was!

"No!" Stefan snapped and scrunched the letter in his hands.

He marched out towards his car. He was going to have this out with him. There was no way he was going to let Damon just sell the land from underneath him without even a cursory conversation about it. This was his home too godamn it! This was taking this separation between them too far!

He slammed into gear and sped off towards the apartment. He checked the time on the clock as he drove, knowing that with it being a Friday night, the band would be playing. He swallowed as he thought on that. All of his friends were drinking and enjoying themselves while he was cleaning a haunted house and being left alone just because he didn't want to submit to having a sexual relationship with his brother. It was fucking crazy. No, he wasn't going to stand for this. He parked outside of the apartment and waited. He thought on going to the bar but he didn't want to have a confrontation with him when all of his friends, whom he'd neglected, would bear witness. No, he should deal with this in a civil fashion, if he hoped to mend fences with his friends soon. Why the hell shouldn't he mend those fences? They were his friends first. Hell Damon wouldn't even have known them if it hadn't been for him. Damon would probably have created enemies and fucked everything up if he'd rolled into this town and not had him to keep him under control. That whole show with compelling his customer that time would have been a daily occurrence for god sake!

The longer he waited the angrier and more self-righteous he felt. Damon was taking his time walking home. By now the gig would have been over and packed away and the last orders would have been called half an hour ago. Where the hell was he? He got out of his car, deciding to wait inside instead. That'd be a nice surprise for him when he came home.

He got the spare key and opened the shutter, closing it behind him and going up the stairs to wait in the lounge. The place was clean for a change and he snorted as he looked around. The bedroom door was still closed and he marched to it and opened it. He stepped inside and looked around – still as it had been preserved. He shook his head at how ridiculous this was and opened the windows. There was still a faint scent of sex in here and he'd had enough of this. He looked down at the sheets, twitching his nose at the semen stains on them and leaned down to pull them from the bed when he heard the shutter pulling up downstairs. He abandoned the bed and went through to the lounge, taking a seat as he waited.

Damon's footsteps were slow and a little wobbly. So he was drunk then. What a surprise. Damon opened the door and moved inside, stopping dead when he saw him staring at him causally.

"What are you doing here?" He frowned and Stefan raised his eyebrows. "I thought I told you…"

"Never to come back, yeah, yeah I actually remember. Go figure!" Stefan said sarcastically and Damon grunted and went to pour himself a drink.

"What do you want Stefan?"

"Well, you see I was just in the neighbourhood and I thought, I know what I'll do, I'll just pop over and ask you what the hell you think you're doing with our land." Stefan said calmly but with focussed attention and Damon paused and looked at him. "That registers huh? Funny, I don't recall us having an agreement or even a conversation about selling off some of our family's land."

"I…"

"Don't tell me, let me guess. You thought you'd sell it out from under me so you could renovate this place and turn it into a shrine huh? Or maybe you just thought you'd take off with your share of the family wealth to teach me a lesson. Or maybe, you just didn't give a shit about consulting me at all. Always thinking about yourself first." Stefan shook his head as his anger boiled and Damon made no attempt to respond.

He sipped at his bourbon and stood up straight, looking at him calmly as he shrugged.

"What you don't even have anything to say?!" Stefan snapped amazed and enraged.

"Doesn't matter." Damon said and Stefan stood up, shaking with anger.

"I thought you couldn't get any lower than you already were brother. For all your protestations that you've changed, you're still the same selfish bastard you've always been. I can't believe you."

"Bite me." Damon leaned forward as he spoke to emphasise how little he cared and Stefan growled.

"Fine, this is how you want to play it is it? Two can play that game brother." Stefan marched over to the drum kit in the corner and began to take it apart.

"What are you doing?" Damon said, moving into the lounge in surprise.

"Taking what is mine. I don't remember you paying for this, so I'm going to take it."

"No, you won't!" Damon tried to grab his arm and Stefan pushed him backwards.

"If we are dividing our things up, I'm going to take what belongs to me!" Stefan shouted and Damon gasped and watched helpless.

"Stefan stop it." He almost sounded like he was pleading as Stefan pulled the kit apart carelessly, uncaring as to whether he'd broken any of it.

He pulled it into the centre of the room as Damon watched aghast, before moving to the bookshelf and pulling books from it, piling them next to the drums as Damon pulled at his hair.

"Mine, that one's' mine and that one…"

"Stop being so fucking childish!" Damon growled and Stefan laughed and shot him a look of rage.

He spotted the bedroom behind Damon and stopped what he was doing. He was going to end this once and for all. He climbed over the top of the sofa, standing on some of the books as Damon tried to bend down and save them from his feet. He pushed him aside and marched into the bedroom, ripping the sheets off the bed as Damon howled in horror. He turned around and looked to him and Damon's eyes filled with tears as he panted.

"Don't!" He begged.

"This is over for god sake. Grow a pair!" Stefan hissed and Damon choked and shook his head.

Stefan pulled a lighter out of his pocket and tried to light it.

"No! Stefan, please, don't! Please!" Damon begged and began to weep and Stefan shook his head at him. "Stefan don't!"

Stefan had never heard Damon's voice so full of pain and desperation and it made him pause as the flame lit on the lighter. Damon looked completely destroyed, half of a man, unable to take his eyes from the precious piece of fabric bunched in Stefan's arms.

"Please…"

Stefan sighed and flipped his lighter off. He couldn't do this, even as mad as he was, he couldn't break him like this. The look on his face, he'd only seen a few times – once when their mother had died and when he'd thought Katherine would be sealed in the tomb forever, just out-with his reach. It was an expression of pure, unadulterated heartbreak and he dropped the sheets back onto the bed as he gave in. Damon immediately pulled them to him and put his face in them.

"They're only sheets Damon. Dirty, used sheets that you need to wash or get rid of for your own sake." Stefan said gently and Damon began to arrange them back on the bed as they had been, almost manically.

Stefan shook his head and left him to it as he returned to the living room. He didn't really want most of the things here, but he was trying to make a point. He was still angry that Damon would sell some of their land without his permission and he had to teach him that that was not on. This was the only way. He retrieved a box from under the sink and began to put everything inside of it and Damon walked through and stood watching him like a zombie. Stefan ignored him and kept at it, while Damon stood, broken and silent.

Once the box was full, he lifted it, looking around one last time, because this would be the last time he'd ever come back here. It had to be. Time to really move on like he knew he should. He turned to leave when he saw the Spitfire sitting on the side table. He reached for it and immediately Damon growled and blocked him.

"What are you doing?" He frowned.

"That doesn't belong to you."

"I think you'll find it does." Stefan snapped back at him and Damon pushed him fiercely.

"No! You're not taking it." Stefan sat the box down, baring his fangs angrily.

"Get out of my way Damon."

"Over my dead body you heartless bastard!" Damon shouted and Stefan pushed him backwards.

They lunged at each other, fighting and biting mercilessly as they beat each other, knocking into furniture as they both screamed and clawed. This was the last straw, the last time Stefan would put up with this crap and for Damon, he was happily willing to fight to the death to preserve the one last thing that meant something to his Stef. His brother was not going to touch that Spitfire, never! It was a symbol of love, a love that his brother had discarded as though it had been a piece of trash.

"Fucking monster!" Damon strangled him as blood poured from their mouths and noses.

Stefan kicked him in the chest and sent him flying back into the table, knocking everything over as Stefan sat up gasping for breath and rubbing his throat. Damon groaned and rolled over onto his knees as he panted and then Stefan saw it.

His Spitfire, broken into two pieces at their feet.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46 TNB

Their fighting had torn the little toy plane apart like paper. His heart seized with unspeakable pain as he stared at it.

"No!" He sobbed, instantly bursting into tears as he let out a wail of disbelief.

Damon sat up and looked towards it and he wailed in torment too.

"No! No!" Stefan balled, crawling towards it as tears blinded him.

He reached over with shaking hands as he touched one of the broken wings and he looked at Damon who was equally upset and full of grief. He bowed his head and cried unashamedly, holding the small wing in his hand, up to his chest. Everything was so broken, everything and now this – this little $20 plane that had been hidden in his bed as a surprise, had been bought with love and excitement over the affection Stefan would have for it, had been built with his own hands and displayed so proudly as a token of how much they loved each other…was broken, just like them.

"It's broken! Everything's ruined." He cried like a small child would cry when dropping their first ice cream.

He cried like it was the end of the world, because that was exactly how this felt. Damon wiped his eyes and watched him sadly. He picked up the other piece and held it tenderly in his hands as Stefan put his face in his hands, still clutching one half.

"What does it matter to you anyway? It's just a toy." Damon sniffled.

Stefan looked up at him in heartbreak and sobbed again.

"It doesn't mean anything to you." Damon whispered as he gently touched the broken side.

"You wouldn't understand." Stefan sniffled and buried his face again.

Damon shook his head sadly and stood up, cradling the small plane in his hands as he walked over to the table by the window where Stef had sat for countless hours making his masterpieces. He sat it down reverently and sighed and Stefan watched him.

"Well, I hope you're happy. You've just destroyed the last part of him that meant something to me." Damon croaked.

"Please fix it." Stefan whimpered and he looked over at him. "Please Damon."

"What's the point?"

"Because it's important." Stefan struggled to say.

"Haven't you taken enough from me Stefan?" Damon's eyes filled with tears again and he put his face in his hands. "Don't pretend you care or understand."

"Don't you have any love for me at all? Is it all just for him?" Stefan sniffled and Damon sighed and rubbed his face. "Because I love you both ways and it's not fair."

"Stefan, stop it…" Damon sighed and Stefan stood up shakily.

"I love you for all you did to mourn me, for my things that you hid. I love you brother and I miss you, but at nights, when you're not beside me…"

"Stop it!" Damon struggled, becoming emotional again, but Stefan continued.

"I reach for you as though you've always been there! I want you. I want to hold you and kiss you and make love and it's driving me crazy Damon!" He hyperventilated and held his chest, the tiny wing still in his hand as Damon shook with pain. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"You'll get over it." Damon calmed himself and turned his back. "You always do."

"And now this…" Stefan teared up again as he looked at the plane. "It was always proof you loved me and now it's ruined."

Stefan began to weep again and Damon held onto the table and sobbed silently. Stefan sat down on the sofa and stared at the wall numbly and Damon looked at him, wiping his eyes and breathing. Stefan looked so lost, as lost as his Stef had been. For the first time in months, he could actually see his Stefan in his brother's eyes. He knelt down in front of him, unable to tear himself away whilst he could see his love.

"Stefan…" He said gently and Stefan shook his head. "It's ok Stefan."

Stefan made a strangled noise of utter defeat and heartbreak and Damon looked down at the plane in his hand again.

"You can fix it. Stefan, you can fix it, remember?" Damon touched his shoulder gently and Stefan inhaled.

"I can't."

"Yes you can. You built it remember?"

"I…I can't remember how." Stefan wept and Damon sighed.

"You can do anything." Damon whispered and stroked his hand through Stefan's hair. "You always could."

Stefan looked at him.

"You can do anything." Damon whispered again and Stefan looked at the part Damon had sat on the table.

Damon got up and handed it to him and he gently placed it with the wing to really inspect the damage. It actually wasn't as bad as he'd initially thought. Maybe Damon was right. He could fix it. He looked into Damon's eyes again as they both wiped their tears.

"I miss you." Stefan whispered and Damon chewed his lip. "Just because I can't be with you like that, doesn't mean I don't still feel it."

"You don't have to say anything." Damon said sadly. "I've accepted that that part of you is gone."

"No, you don't understand." Stefan sighed and closed his eyes. "It's not, I just don't know how to get past it."

"What do you mean?"

"I still think about you that way sometimes and it frightens me. I'm not supposed to feel that way for you. It's not supposed to happen, but the memories I have from here…" He struggled as Damon's heart sped up, "…they are so good and I…I just want to feel happy again."

"So let it happen. Be happy Stefan." Damon reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

"It's not that easy. We'll always be brothers. I can't fight with that, no matter how much I want you." Stefan's confession made Damon's stomach clench and he sat back and stood up as he tried to breathe.

"Stefan I was where you were months ago, remember? I couldn't let go of the fact that we were related. It nearly tore me apart. It got me blundering down to that lab to be captured by those bastards at Whitmore. Then I realised that I was always happier when I was with you. It felt wrong for a good while, but it got less and less every time we spent time together and I got to know you as someone who was a person himself, not just my brother. I don't think I ever really knew who you were before that. I took so much of you for granted because you were family."

Stefan listened quietly as Damon paced the floor.

"When it came down to it – when you caught part of Leyla and I's conversation, it all became clear to me. It didn't matter who you were anymore. What mattered was what you were to me and I knew that you were everything. The thought of not being able to be with you, to share my life with you was so unthinkable, after that I didn't give a damn if the same blood ran through our veins."

Stefan exhaled as he listened, feeling his heart flutter. He remembered their love making in the forest, their kissing and dancing on the dance floor…that had been the first night where they'd both truly known they were on the same page. Damon looked down at him.

"So burn the sheets if you want, take everything in here, because it won't change anything for me. I will love you and miss you the same amount as if these things were all still here. It's my happy curse."

"Damon." Stefan choked and he kneeled down next to him again. "I want to love you again."

"You don't know what you're saying Stefan. It'll change everything for you."

"Like it did for you?" Stefan raised and Damon huffed and closed his eyes. "Please help me Damon. Save me again."

"From what?"

"From myself, always from myself. I want to love you again. I want to be happy, to matter to someone." Stefan reached for his face and cupped it tenderly as Damon's pupils widened in desire.

"You do matter. You have so many friends, you just have to call them Stefan."

"I want to matter to you."

"You do." Damon struggled.

"Help me angel." Stefan whispered and Damon exhaled a half sob and hung his head. "Help me stop fighting myself."

Damon choked and enveloped him in his arms, kissing his shoulder and neck as Stefan closed his eyes and held him.

"I love so much Stef." Damon sighed into his neck and Stefan stroked the back of his head gently.

"Love me then." Stefan whispered back and turned his face into Damon's neck.

Damon pulled back to cup his face, searching for his Stef.

"Are you really in there? Are you really serious about this?" He looked deep into Stefan's eyes and Stefan touched his lips, his hands shaking slightly as he stroked Damon's bottom lip.

"I remember everything but I'm afraid Damon. I'm fighting 140 years of us being family." Stefan struggled. "I don't know how to do this, but I can't stay away from you either."

"You just have to take it slow and tell me what you want." Damon soothed him gently.

"We've had sex." Stefan closed his eyes anxiously and Damon gave a small smile.

"We can start at the beginning. Baby steps." Stefan opened his eyes and smiled.

"Baby steps." He sighed and Damon nodded.

Stefan felt his whole body relax as they looked at each other. Damon understood what he was feeling because he'd had the same battle. Damon leaned forward and Stefan froze in fear, but Damon simply placed a kiss on either side of his cheek and brought their foreheads together. Stefan relaxed again.

"It's late." Damon whispered and Stefan nodded. "Sleep here. It's time I stripped that bed."

Stefan watched him in awe as Damon lay him down and undid the sofa bed for him, covering him with a blanket and kissing his forehead before taking a deep breath and going into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He was actually going to do it finally. He was getting rid of the shrine. Stefan reached over and placed the wing with the rest of his plane and closed his eyes listening to Damon moving around. Damon loved him as both. Damon would wait until he was ready, if this was what he wanted. He wouldn't push for sex or kissing. He'd wait.

Stefan had come here to hurt him, to make him feel the pain he had and all he'd ended up doing was breaking both of their hearts. Now he had to be sure of what he wanted. He didn't know if he could have sex with him. He remembered it and had enjoyed it but that was before. He knew that he found Damon attractive now, there was no way around it and it had been bothering him. He'd never been attracted to men before, especially not his brother, but he couldn't deny that when he recalled their love making he became aroused. He'd wanted Damon to touch him the last time he'd come here, even though it'd hurt Damon in the process.

He wouldn't hurt him like that again. No, they'd go slow and he'd only touch him if he was sure. He closed his eyes as he heard Damon settle into the bed. They'd take it slow. He fell asleep feeling a little happier.

The next morning, Stefan awoke to the smell of coffee brewing and he stretched and yawned happily. For the first time in two months he had company and it felt so wonderful. He sat up and looked to the kitchen but there was no sign of Damon.

"Damon?" He called and then he heard the shower on.

He got up and went into the bedroom sneakily. The bed had indeed, finally been stripped and the room smelled clean and fresh for a change. He smiled at the improvement and then realised the bathroom door was ajar. He crept over silently, feeling like a peeping tom. How ridiculous that he should feel that way, considering he'd seen Damon naked plenty of times. Hell, he'd been inside of him plenty of times, but this was the first time he'd looked at him like this, with these eyes, with this brain. He looked through the door and stared. Damon was washing his chest and had his face up into the spray. Stefan watched as the bubbles slid down his abdomen and onto his manhood. He licked his lips and felt his own manhood twitch.

Damon's body was practically edible. If there had been any doubt in his mind over whether he really was attracted to him as himself, it was gone now. On impulse, he pushed the door open and entered and Damon opened his eyes in surprise as he took in how flushed Stefan looked.

"Hey." Damon wasn't sure what to do, so he turned his back to him. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to…uh…" Stefan babbled, beginning to undo his clothing when Damon looked over at him and frowned.

"Stefan, baby steps ok? Don't rush yourself."

Stefan paused and chewed his lip.

"There's plenty of time to touch me ok? Why don't you make some coffee huh?" Damon gave him a reassuring smile and Stefan nodded and left the bathroom again.

He felt a little deflated, but he knew Damon was right. He shouldn't try to walk before he could run or else he might panic and they'd be back to square one. He made coffee and waited for him to dress. He seemed to take forever and Stefan felt himself getting nervous. Damon finally came out, smelling good and clean and Stefan smiled and sat up full of adrenaline.

"You ok?" Damon eyed him and he nodded. "So, what do you want to do today?"

"Touch you." Stefan blushed and Damon gave an embarrassed chuckle.

"Slow down brother ok?"

"But I need to know that I can." Stefan sighed frustrated.

"What do you mean?"

"If I can get over this, this fear of touching you, then we can…" He struggled and Damon sighed and picked up his coffee cup.

"Gee that's romantic. You want to see if you can stomach being intimate with me so you know if you can be with me. I'm filled with happiness." Damon said sarcastically and Stefan sighed and looked down at his hands. "That's not the way this works Stefan. Either you feel something or you don't. Simple as that."

"But I don't know which feeling is mine."

"They're all you. Just which of your feelings are now?"

"I want to kiss you. I like it when you kissed me."

"Ok, that's a good start." Damon gave a small smile. "Do you want to kiss me now?"

Stefan put his face in his hands and blushed crimson.

"I…I…"

"Just, kiss me when you feel like it's right ok?" Damon consoled and sat down in the armchair.

Stefan nodded and looked over to the Spitfire. He frowned, remembering and let out a sigh.

"That Spitfire was us."

"Yeah, I think it was." Damon gave a sad smile and looked to it too. "You can fix it."

Stefan stood up and took a seat at his old table. His hands shook as he tried to remember what kind of resin to use. He'd been so good at this before. He exhaled and tried to clear his mind like before to get to his Zen place. As he began to work away, Damon stood behind him and whispered encouragement to him. The feeling of Damon's breath blowing across his neck made him feel relaxed and safe.

"Just concentrate. You can do this." Damon squeezed his shoulders gently and he tilted his head back so Damon could rest his chin in at his neck. "See, baby steps."

Together they mended the little plane and Stefan grinned, elated and full of emotion.

"I told you, you could do it." Damon kissed the top of his head and Stefan exhaled in happiness.

He turned around to see Damon putting his shoes on.

"Where are you going?"

"There's a gig at the bar."

"In the afternoon?" Stefan frowned.

"It's a charity fundraiser for something or other. Said I'd help out."

"Can I come with you?" Stefan stood up nervously and Damon paused.

"Everyone will be there. Are you ready for that?"

Stefan chewed his lip and felt nerves shake him a little. All of the friends he'd ignored would be there. Could he do this? Damon studied him and he nodded. He wanted to be where Damon was.

"Ok. Come on."

They headed out, not touching or holding hands. They weren't quite ready for that yet. Still, this was better that it had been. They were still tense around each other but they weren't fighting anymore. They approached the bar and Stefan began to feel nervous. Damon noticed and gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"Come on." Damon smiled and he gulped and followed him in.

Everyone paused when they saw Stefan approach the table and he suddenly wondered whether this was such a good idea after all. Damon discretely placed his hand on his lower back and Stefan took a breath and smiled at them all.

"Stefan. Long time no see." His bassist Kenny stood up and offered him his hand.

Kenny had always been the peace-keeper, a good guy with a cool head and Stefan had never been so grateful for his presence as he was right now. He accepted his hand shake firmly and smiled in relief. The others would be more difficult but at least he had another ally here. Leyla stood up next and he prepared himself for a slap but instead she pulled him into a hug and he held her back gratefully.

"We've missed you. You asshole." She said in jest but he could tell that was still a little hurt.

He kissed her cheek as she withdrew and she looked to Damon and smiled as though they were having a silent conversation. Everyone seemed to look to Damon actually.

"Right, when are we on?" Damon clapped his hands together to detract the heat away from Stefan and everyone fell into work mode.

The band each gave Stefan a pat on the shoulder as they slid out of the table and headed over to talk with Damon about the set. Damon was doing some tech and lights for them now too. Stefan watched in amazement. Leyla sat next to him and held his hand.

"I'm glad you're back." She said and he gave a small smile. "I didn't think you were going to. You were so different. So angry."

"I was."

"Are you ok now?"

"I…" He frowned and she squeezed his hand. "I don't know."

"I knew you would come back for him." She smiled excitedly and he gulped nervously. "He's the world."

"Leyla…he's still my brother. I don't know if this is going to become anything again." He struggled and she frowned and sighed. "We're taking it slow, but don't…"

"What?"

"Don't give him any encouragement ok?"

She shook her head slightly and removed her hand from his.

"Just heed your own advice Stefan."

He could tell she wasn't happy with him but he couldn't help how unsure he felt. Damon appeared on the stage and suddenly the whole bar came to life with whistling and heckling. Stefan laughed and looked around in surprise. Damon did a little speech, winking at a few girls and making the crowd hot and bothered and Stefan watched him transfixed. He was like a new person up there.

"Damon I love you!" A few girls screamed out and Damon smouldered at them.

Stefan felt his heart beat loudly in his ears as he watched him. Damon had his game on and every girl in here was caught in the headlights. They all wanted him, he could practically feel them all vibrating with lust. He felt uncomfortable suddenly and he got up from the table and excused himself out into the hallway. He leaned against the wall and breathed for a few minutes. What the hell was that? Why had he panicked? Damon was just being Damon, charming and sexy as always, except this time it bothered him that so many people were drawn in. Damon hadn't been lying when he'd said that he had built a life for himself here too. A life that Stefan was no longer part of.

He felt alone again suddenly and he held his chest. He was in the middle of a bar that he used to love, with a lot of his friends and yet he was alone, an outsider and it was his fault. He had abandoned this life as though it had meant nothing to him and this was the consequence. Life didn't cease simply because he wasn't here. He heard footsteps approach the hall and he turned his back to hide his face from whoever was passing.

"Hey Damon, do you fancy a drink later? I'm not working tomorrow." A girl purred at Damon from within Stefan's hearing range.

Damon laughed and oozed with charm at her until she was giggling.

"Here's my number. Maybe give me a call sometime." She smiled at him, flirting and Damon must have smouldered at her as Stefan heard her heart beat pick up.

He seethed, full of jealously. That was unexpected. After all he wasn't sure what he wanted from Damon. Only that he wanted something, some kin of closeness again. He had no right to want to rip the girls' head off. Damon came around the corner and took in Stefan's taut stance and irritated appearance.

"Stefan? What's wrong?"

"I don't belong here anymore." Stefan said and Damon crossed his arms. "This is your place now."

"It is your place, you just have to want it to be again." Damon squeezed his shoulder and Stefan swallowed.

"I don't even know what I want anymore." Stefan said numbly and Damon pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back.

"It'll come to you, you just have to give it time." Damon soothed and Stefan pulled back ever so slightly so that their noses were barely touching.

Damon's pupils enlarged and were immediately drawn to Stefan's lips. Stefan took in a shaky breath. Stefan searched his eyes as everything seemed to go completely quiet around them. He reached up and held the side of Damon's face as he pressed their mouths together gently. Damon stayed exactly still, not wanting to force or encourage and Stefan moved in again, loving the soft feeling of Damon's lips against his. They kissed slowly, as though it was their first ever time. Damon opened his mouth and Stefan placed his tongue inside, sighing as he felt the warmth of his tongue. He tasted like bourbon and coffee and it was delicious. Kissing him was so familiar. They kissed a little more hungrily, with Damon trying not to hold him or caress him until they slowed and stopped to look at each other.

"How did that feel?" Damon whispered and Stefan closed his eyes.

"Wonderful."

"Plenty more where that came from." Damon smiled and kissed his cheeks and the tip of his nose. "As soon as you're ready."


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47 TNB

They didn't spent much longer at the club after that. The look on Stefan's face was too intense. Damon didn't want to push him, he wanted him to make sure that this was what he wanted, because if he changed his mind tomorrow he'd just crumble again. So he made no moves, he kept a respectful distance from him physically.

"Stefan I want you to think about this. I'm still your brother ok?" He tried to speak as Stefan held him against the wall in the hallway, kissing him heatedly.

"Stefan…" He groaned and tried to keep his hands by his sides. "Stefan if you don't stop I won't be able to control myself. Stefan…stop…" He panted and Stefan pulled away, blushing and embarrassed.

"I thought this was what you wanted." Stefan panted and Damon tried to force his erection down. "Don't you want me?"

"I love you." Damon said and Stefan frowned.

"Then take me home and fuck my brains out Damon."

"No…no…Stefan…" Damon frowned as Stefan tried to kiss him again. "Stop it."

He pushed Stefan off of him and Stefan stood back feeling hurt and confused.

"I have fucked your brains out, I've had you a hundred times already…"

"But I'm not him, is that what you're saying? You want him but not me." Stefan accused hurt and Damon shook his head.

"You are him. Godamn it, you're the same person! But he loved me Stefan. He was totally, unequivocally in love with me and I'm not sure how you're feeling. You're confused and you're lonely and that's not enough for me."

"What am I supposed to do?" Stefan threw his hands up in the air.

"Take it slow." Damon said and Stefan shook his head and bit his lip.

"Maybe I should just go home."

Damon looked to the ground as he swallowed and Stefan waited for him to object.

"Fine." Stefan said teary eyed and headed out of the bar as Damon leant against the wall and sighed unhappily.

He loved him so much but he needed to know that this was real from him. Stefan could simply be feeling abandoned and alone. As soon as Elena came back from college, or some big bad rolled into town, Damon might be the last thing on his mind and he couldn't live like that. Not anymore. For too long he'd waited on the side line for scraps of affection or some kind of happiness and he was done with that now.

He headed out after him, hot on his heels and caught him walking along the road.

"Stefan, wait!" He called and Stefan stopped and looked back at him. "Wait." He said a little more gently.

He reached out and cupped his face and kissed him this time, sliding their tongues together softly as they cherished each others' mouths. Stefan melted into his arms like jelly, as though he was moulded just into the right Damon shape and Damon inhaled and slid his hands down his back and in the back pockets of his jeans. Stefan jumped a little and pulled back from his mouth embarrassed and Damon removed his hands back up to his back.

"Sorry." Damon whispered, trying to keep his erection from pressing against Stefan's groin.

"I'm just not quite ready for…"

"I know. Baby steps. I just want you so badly Stefan. You just have to tell me when to stop ok?"

"Ok."

"Promise me." Damon raised an eyebrow and he nodded.

"You want to go home?" Stefan asked, taking Damon's hand and Damon tensed a little. "What you can't trust yourself not to throw me up against a wall and take me?" Stefan joked and Damon gave a tense smile.

"Stefan, it's been two months since you tired to cut my head off with an axe. I don't know what the hell might happen if we…if I…"

Stefan paled and released his hand.

"If we get into bed together, I'll want to make love to you. You don't know what it's been like, thinking that finally I was getting everything I wanted and then you just disappeared into your brain. I'm like a starving man here." Damon tried to explain as they started to walk slowly, Stefan looking down at his feet. "Besides, you were straight before all of this. You don't know how you're going to react if I'm inside of you."

Stefan turned to look at him unhappily.

"You were straight too."

"You converted me." Damon gave a small smile.

"So convert me."

"I had nothing to lose." Damon pointed out.

"Neither do I." Stefan said sadly.

Damon slung his arm around the back of his neck and kissed his head as they walked back to the apartment. Neither of them spoke. What a strange turn of events the past few days had taken and now maybe there was some light on the horizon? They entered the apartment and Stefan immediately went over to check the Spitfire had stayed in one piece. He touched it lightly and smiled in relief. It made his heart fit to burst that something so precious was still intact. The rest of the room, however, was a disaster. Stefan had made such a mess as he'd pulled books from shelves and practically destroyed the drum kit. He looked around regretfully and Damon got them each a glass of bourbon.

"I'll fix everything tomorrow." He consoled and handed Stefan his glass.

"No, it was my fault. I was so angry about the land."

Damon nodded and sat down sighing.

"Why did you do it?" Stefan asked full of emotion. "Was it to hurt me? Because I almost…" Stefan couldn't finish the words 'killed you' and Damon shook his head.

"No."

"Then why did you sell the land?"

"We didn't need it brother. We don't farm it, we don't do shit with it. I thought it might help me move on."

"From me. Move on from me?"

Damon looked into his glass and nodded.

"I tried to kill you. I was going to." Stefan felt his chest tighten and Damon shook his head and closed his eyes.

"You didn't."

"Only because Caroline stopped me." Stefan choked and drank his whole glass in one mouthful.

"You weren't yourself Stefan. You'd blocked some of yourself out of your mind."

"It doesn't make it right!"

"No." Damon looked at him, calmly, trying to pacify him.

Stefan was being so emotional. So much more like his love. Was his love coming through more finally?

"If I'd thought that'd you'd raped me while everyone else allowed it, I would have wanted to kill you." Damon said calmly.

"But you never raped me." Stefan put his head in his hands and shook.

"You didn't know that."

"It's such a mess. Everything. I've lost a whole year and now everything doesn't make sense like it used to. People are different. I've lost my brother, my girlfriend, my life…"

"For god sake Stefan." Damon sighed and Stefan looked at him. "I'm right here. I am still your brother. I always will be. I'm just someone who loves you too. I'm both, don't you see that? As for Elena, she adores you. If she knew you felt like this she'd be here right now. So get a hold of yourself."

Stefan sat quietly and absorbed the backlash as Damon shook his head and sipped his bourbon.

"Feeling sorry for yourself never helped anyone. I should know." Damon commented.

"So what about us?" Stefan finally asked. "As my brother, what should I do?"

"Go home and think everything through." Damon said straight to the point and Stefan gave a tense expression.

"And as someone who loves me?"

"I want to take you to bed."

Stefan blushed and licked his lips as Damon looked at him.

"Which is exactly why I won't."

"Why not?" Stefan asked disappointedly.

"Because you obviously want me to and you don't know what you want right now."

Stefan put his head in his hands and sighed.

"Damon, please don't do this to me. I need you." He sounded so lost again and Damon felt his control slip. "Please, just let me stay here with you tonight again?"

"Stefan…" Damon grumbled and Stefan looked at him desperately.

Damon nodded and sighed and Stefan smiled and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed." Stefan replied and Damon sighed.

"Fine, I'll take the couch."

"No." Stefan tried to pull him up. "Stefan what are you trying to do to me huh? Are you trying to hurt me?" Damon hit back, feeling frustrated and hurt and Stefan paused, still holding his arm.

"You said baby steps. I just want to try it." Stefan said weakly and Damon rubbed his eyes. "Just kissing, please."

Damon, against his better judgement, allowed himself to be pulled into the bedroom. He refused outright to remove his clothing and Stefan sighed but accepted that as he lay fully clothed down on the bed too.

"Just kissing." Damon said and Stefan nodded.

Damon lay down on his back and looked up at the ceiling as Stefan turned on his side and looked at him.

"I can't sleep much when you're not with me." Stefan confessed and Damon sighed again. "I want to kiss you again."

"Good for you." Damon said sarcastically.

"Don't you get it? Did I ever want to kiss my brother before? Ever? It means something is changing. I'm changing."

"What do you expect me to do about this Stefan? Let you kiss me and make me feel…make me…and then what if you decide you don't want this and it was a mistake! What about me?" He turned to look at him.

"Would you rather we go on like this? Not talking to each other? Hating each other but remembering what we did? What we did with our bodies…" Stefan reached out to stroke over Damon's collarbone and Damon closed his eyes.

"I want to touch you, but I want to take it slow like you said." He said. "I remember the things you liked." He whispered and Damon grunted in grief. "I just want to touch you, if that ok? I can't have sex yet, I just…"

"It's ok."

Stefan took the plunge, leaning over and placing his arm around Damon's firm, muscular stomach as it quivered and locked their lips together. Kissing Damon was so wonderful and easy to get carried away with. They opened their mouths to each other and although Damon tried his hardest not to move or encourage he couldn't help himself and he turned and held Stefan fully, kissing him with as much passion as he always had. Stefan became limp in his arms, allowing him to take over as Damon held him tight and his breathing sped up. Stefan moaned and sighed in between breaths and he could feel Damon's erection through his jeans. That penis wanted him, wanted to be inside of him, making him cry and scream like it used to and Stefan's body remembered it well as he tried not to panic. He began to pant for breath as he tried to stay calm. Damon was still so gentle, kissing into his neck as he rolled him over onto his back and began to kiss his throat and shoulder.

"God I love you, love you Stef…" Damon practically drooled and Stefan arched his neck up for him, enjoying the kissing to his throat.

Their passion soon began to escalate however and Damon climbed on top of him now, kissing his way down to his nipples, pushing his shirt aside with his face and sucking as Stefan breathed in short gasps. It just felt so good. In the back of his mind there were danger bells ringing but he it felt so good. Damon's erection was rubbing against his now and the friction felt fantastic. Damon's hands slid further and further down until they were inside his jeans, kneading his bare buttocks tenderly.

"Damon." He said a little nervously but Damon was lost in him, kissing and touching and Stefan began to realise just what a mistake this might have been.

Damon's hands gently caressed his bottom and moved slightly round to his hip, just brushing the inside of his thigh. His manhood throbbed, wanting him to touch him there but he wasn't ready.

"Damon…" He croaked, a little more emotionally this time. "Just kissing, just kissing…"

Damon made a growling sound in his throat.

"Damon!" He cringed and Damon stopped immediately, looking at him as though he was inebriated and confused.

"Sorry." He whispered and Stefan closed his eyes and tried to collect himself. "Stefan, I'm sorry."

Damon removed his hands completely and sat back, worriedly, panic evident on his face as Stefan breathed, his body tense and flushed with adrenaline.

Stefan opened his eyes and shed a few tears.

"What's wrong with me?" He whispered and Damon leaned forward to hold him but held back instead, not wanting to scare him. "Why can't I just…we've done this so many times before!" Stefan shouted, angry at himself and curled into the foetal position, burying his face into Damon's pillow as he shivered.

Damon was at a loss for words. He climbed from the bed and went through to the lounge to get him some bourbon. When he came back Stefan was looking at the wall dejected and still holding Damon's pillow to him.

"Here." Damon said gently and slowly reached out and stroked through his hair as Stefan accepted the glass with shaking hands and began to gulp it down.

Damon sat down at the end of the bed again.

"I should be able to sleep with you. I want to, but you're my brother and we shouldn't do it." Stefan whispered.

"I know." Damon agreed and Stefan looked at him in surprise. "We shouldn't be. It's…it goes against the laws of nature Stefan."

"Why do we feel this way then?"

"Because we love each other that way too. Don't we?"

Stefan nodded.

"We're not human anymore. Our bodies aren't the same as they were. They don't function like that anymore. Siblings aren't supposed to want each other because of offspring. We can't reproduce." Damon explained gently.

"It doesn't change the fact that I love you like my big brother too."

"I know. Stefan…" He touched Stefan's shoulder. "…I know."

"What are we going to do?" Stefan curled into himself again and Damon sighed.

"We're going to date and see what happens."

"What?" Stefan looked at him in surprise again, sitting up.

"We're going to date. If your feelings grow or change then we'll know what to do." Damon shrugged.

"What about your feelings?"

"Stefan…" Damon gave a small smile and shook his head. "I was going to marry you. Doesn't leave much room for doubt on my part."

Stefan's eyes widened and he gulped.

"Ok." Stefan agreed and lay back down.

Damon lay down behind him slowly and Stefan pulled his arm around his stomach so that they were spooning. Damon let out a comfortable exhale and snuggled into the back of Stefan's neck and Stefan closed his eyes and relaxed.

"Stefan?"

"Hmmn?"

"If we are going to date you can't stay here."

"Why not?"

"Because then it's not dating. Tomorrow you have to go home and sort yourself out."

Stefan pulled Damon's arm tighter into him as he sulked unhappily.

"Do this for me." Damon kissed the back of his neck. "This is my heart you're playing with too."

"You always said you didn't have one." Stefan whispered.

"One grew as soon as you clung to my legs that first night." Damon gave him a squeeze and Stefan smiled to himself and drifted off to sleep peacefully.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48 TNB

Stefan awoke, feeling as rested as he'd felt in a long time. He stretched his legs and pressed back into the body heat of Damon behind him as he sighed. Damon was still fast asleep and holding him. Stefan made a humming sound to waken him gently and Damon tightened his arm around him a little.

"Not yet." Damon mumbled, half coherent and Stefan smiled and made the sound again.

Slowly he turned onto his side to face him, making Damon groan and scrunch up his face. Stefan traced his features with the tips of his fingers and Damon's expression straightened and he relaxed again, kissing his fingers as he traced around his lips. He opened his eyes eventually and yawned.

"I love you." Stefan said.

"So you should." Damon smirked.

"That's how I found out about us you know? Our texts to each other."

Damon raised an eyebrow and put his face into his pillow.

"Wouldn't have been a good way to find out I guess." He mumbled from within the pillow.

"Can I touch you today?"

"Stefan it's too hard." Damon turned his head to look at him. "You saw what almost happened last night. I wanted you and I didn't even notice you were afraid."

"I wasn't afraid, I just wasn't ready." He assured and Damon closed his eyes again.

"I'll steer clear of danger areas." Stefan teased and kissed the tip of his nose. "Please."

"What about dating?"

"If I can touch you now, then you won't have to worry about me trying to drag you into a bathroom somewhere."

Damon smirked and sighed again, turning onto his belly so that Stefan had access to his back. They'd both slept with their clothes on so Stefan had to wrestle him out of his shirt as he grunted. Finally Damon's back was bare and Stefan propped himself up on one elbow and dragged his fingers down his shoulder blades. Damon shivered and hummed.

"Your skin is so soft." Stefan whispered as he admired it, gliding his hands down his back to the dip in his spine.

"You should know." Damon sighed softly. "You've fed from my back and lain on top of me."

"God I wish I could just do that now."

"Baby steps." Damon yawned.

"Hmmmn." Stefan agreed and continued to stroke every contour until he reached Damon's jeans.

He paused and chewed his lip.

"Damon?" He whispered and Damon grunted sleepily. "Can I take your jeans off?"

"Hmmmn." Damon hummed, half asleep.

Stefan felt his heart speed up as he reached around, brushing by Damon's manhood which was mercifully soft. Damon was beginning to drift to sleep peacefully, so this was all safe. Stefan pulled his jeans off carefully and dropped them onto the floor. He felt beyond excited. The fact that Damon was consenting but not aroused made this so much easier for him. He slid his hands over Damon's bottom, smiling at how soft and muscular his gluts were and Damon sighed. He loved Damon's body. God he was perfect, like Adonis. He couldn't help himself as he leaned down and gently placed a kiss on each buttock softly.

Damon began to snore very softly and Stefan began to kiss his back and spine, caressing his skin as he moved. He could do this. He could be physical. It didn't feel weird at all. He was his brother and yet he was also an old lover, whose body he knew inside and out. Inside. God…

He felt his manhood come alive as he remembered pushing inside of Damon's body. It had been glorious. He looked to Damon's buttocks again and licked over them this time. He wanted him. Damon made a soft sound of pleasure and Stefan moved down and ran his tongue in between his buttocks, tickling his entrance as he did so and Damon jolted awake.

"Stefan." Damon mumbled in warning and Stefan sat back up and stroked his back again.

"Maybe I could have you instead. I can't…I don't think I can let you, but I want you Damon. God I want you right now." Stefan breathed as he slid his fingers along his entrance, not pushing in but stroking there to make Damon fist the sheets and tremble.

"Stefan…baby steps." Damon groaned into the mattress, clearly fighting the desire to allow it.

Stefan climbed up to the back of his neck and began to kiss there, making Damon sigh in want.

"I've done this a hundred times, please let me. I can see how much you need me. You've held back so much these past few days. Let me release you, please." He whispered seductively into his ear and ran his finger into the cleft of his buttocks again.

"You're going to kill me." Damon groaned. "Just trying…uhhhh…" Stefan slid a finger into his entrance, "…to protect you." He gasped.

"Let me have you." Stefan kissed his shoulder and bit down into his neck to drink from him and Damon's eyes rolled into his head as he let out a moan.

Stefan suckled gently, licking his skin as Damon panted and contorted in pleasure. He pulled his fangs out and breathed. Damon seemed less reluctant now.

"I want you." Stefan growled possessively.

He tilted his bottom a little in invitation and Stefan immediately removed his clothes in a blur. Damon lay his head back down and closed his eyes as Stefan took over. He couldn't lie, his body was fit to exploding with Stefan here, touching him. It had been the longest he'd gone without sex since he could remember and he was desperate. All of the women in the bar and a few men, rubbing against him, touching his arms, his backside, slipping their cell numbers into his pockets, had been maddening at the bar and he'd almost succumbed a few times, just to release his demanding libido.

He could hear Stefan panting in excitement as he opened Damon's legs a little wider and Damon turned his head to look at him.

"Stefan, stop if it feels…"

"No, I want to fill you. I want to make you mine again." Stefan was flushed and had his vampire face on and Damon relaxed into the mattress, his stomach fluttering with want and excitement too.

Stefan lay down between his legs and began to prepare his entrance. Damon moaned and squirmed. His young Stefan had been inexperienced and unsure how best to use his tongue but my god, Stefan Salvatore had clearly done this before – to women mind you, but the principle was the same aside from the prostate, which Damon really hoped his younger Stefan would remind him of.

Before long Damon was thoroughly stretched and moaning, flexing his bottom upwards to help Stefan reach his prostrate with his fingers. He panted and gyrated unashamedly as his heart started to batter against his rib cage. Oh yes, Stefan knew what he was doing and he was going to make him scream. Damon panted and tried to talk but his words eluded him, slurring and making noises more than anything and Stefan finally pulled up, biting into his left buttock and drinking a little as Damon arched his back and cried out.

"Now you want me don't you? No baby steps today." Stefan smiled victorious and Damon just collapsed into the bed in response. "I've got moves too."

He lined himself up and slowly entered him as Damon whimpered. It had been so long, so long since anyone had touched him like this and he could cry that it was his love doing it again. It was like his dreams had come true. Stefan was gentle, instead of ramming him hard and fast like he could see Damon wanted, he lay down on top of his back and kissed his neck and shoulders. Damon pushed back against him and Stefan circled his hips and gyrated gently. Damon drooled into his pillow. Stefan was gentle and slow for a few minutes until he was sure Damon could accommodate his size and then he leaned up onto his hands and changed his angle so that as he entered with each thrust, he was diving deeper into him. Damon moaned loudly and Stefan sped up, breathing loudly as Damon squirmed and tried to reach back for his hands. Stefan leaned forward and pulled him upwards by his chest so that Damon's head fell back onto his shoulder and then he rammed him, hard and fast, shaking the bed as he held him tight in that position. Damon cried and reached back to hold Stefan's hips, almost trying to pull him in deeper, until Stefan finally hit his prostate and he yelled.

Stefan bit into his neck again and drank as Damon's body felt like marshmallow, sagging into him as Stefan flexed and repeatedly hit his prostate again and again until Damon had to beg for him to climax. It was too intense. Stefan panted, spilling blood down Damon's collarbone and reached around to pump Damon's penis. He barely even touched it when Damon climaxed all over his hand.

Stefan followed suit and held Damon upright as he emptied inside of him, Damon's head falling forward as he tried not to wilt. Stefan cried and cried and buried his face into Damon's raven curls that had now become plastered to the back of his neck. Damon wilted entirely and Stefan lay them both back down, Stefan staying inside of him as they breathed.

"I can do this." Stefan breathed into Damon's neck but Damon had already drifted off, satiated and happy.

Stefan chuckled and reached around to feel Damon's soft manhood again. He had a lot of ejaculate there. Clearly, he hadn't slept with anyone for a while. Stefan kissed his back and neck as he realised what that meant. Damon had been waiting for him, hoping that someday he'd come back to him. He wound his arms around him and gyrated a little inside of him still. This felt right. They fit together. As he gyrated he felt some more semen release into Damon and he sighed and kissed the back of Damon's head. Damon made a sound of happiness but his eyelids were fluttering.

Stefan would stay inside of him until they had to move, he didn't care.

When they awoke later they tried just kissing again and this time it was much easier. Damon, however put his foot down about a few things they needed to be clear about for a while. Stefan sat, sipping coffee as Damon paced in front of him.

"Ok, you know how I feel. I've made it abundantly clear."

"You could say that." Stefan smirked into his coffee and Damon gave a side smile but tensed a little too.

"I don't think we should have sex again…for a little while."

Stefan coughed into his cup I surprise and frowned at him.

"Stefan, I want you, whether you're in me or I'm in you – it doesn't matter to me, but clearly it still does to you."

"I…"

"No, listen…" Damon sighed and put his hands on his hips. "You came here a couple of days ago as my brother and that was all you wanted. You only even came here to tear me a new one. You didn't come back here to fall in love with me again Stefan."

"No." Stefan said gravely as he paled.

"So we start there. I love both parts of you and I can see right now that I'm looking at one of them."

"What do you mean?"

"Stefan I know you feel the same love that I do and that was what made you want me earlier today, but you need to integrate your thoughts ok? I mean, before, would you have just jumped into bed with someone without getting to know them first?"

"Damon, I think it's safe to safe to say that I know you." Stefan snorted annoyed.

"No you don't Stefan." Damon said bluntly and Stefan sighed exasperated. "You know your brother and a couple of months of a newer me. I don't even know who the hell I am right now."

Stefan looked to the ground as he processed that. It was true. Damon had really changed a lot from the person he'd been. He'd made huge changes to be with him and now he was continuing to try and stay that guy young Stef had fallen for and wanted to marry because he liked himself better that way. Did Stefan really know him anymore then?

"So, dating." Stefan said after a few minutes of silence.

"With no sex right now." Damon chewed his lip and Stefan nodded.

"Ok. So what now?"

"Let's go on a trip."

"Date?"

"I guess we'll find out." Damon gave a small smile and Stefan chuckled, standing up.

It was a little difficult to see Stefan head straight for his Aston and ignore the vintage cars as they headed out that day. Although Stefan remembered the love he had for the crank handle car and the red Camaro, he felt embarrassed that they'd been something that his younger version had gushed over so much because of their association with Damon. It was kind of like fighting with a teenage in his head sometimes and he wanted to integrate everything and make informed choices with all parts of his brain, just like Damon was saying.

As Stefan drove he tried not to touch Damon too much. He wanted to. He wanted to hold his hand or something, but Damon had made it clear they had to start from a beginning. He must have sighed because Damon looked over at him.

"What?"

"Nothing." Stefan chewed his lip and Damon smirked. "I just, can't find my re-set button as easy as you."

"You think I even have one?" Damon laughed in amazement and Stefan sighed again moodily.

"This morning was so perfect. I know we are doing the right thing here, but I feel like you're punishing me." There, he'd admitted it.

Damon stared at him for several seconds and Stefan frowned unhappily. Damon sighed and reached over, resting his hand on Stefan's thigh gently. Stefan looked at him and Damon leaned over and kissed the side of his mouth. Stefan closed his eyes briefly and Damon leaned back but kept his hand on his leg. Stefan smiled, feeling a little better.

"Where are we going?" He realised he was on autopilot and had started heading back to Mystic Falls.

"Home."

"Why?"

"There's something I need to check."

"That's cryptic." Stefan chuckled and Damon seemed a little tense again.

When they got to the Boarding House they got out and headed inside. Damon looked around, noticing how empty the place looked without his things there and Stefan watched him.

"Do you want to move back in?"

"No." Damon said confidently.

"Ok." Stefan swallowed. "Living separately. I get it."

"Come on." Damon tilted his head up towards the bedrooms and Stefan frowned but followed.

Damon oddly walked past his bedroom door and went into Stefan's room instead and Stefan followed curiously. Stefan had tried to re-arrange it back to the way it had been before and Damon looked around, noticing that.

"What are you upto?" Stefan raised his eyebrows and Damon looked at him nervously.

"Proving a point."

"What point?" Stefan asked and Damon was suddenly on him, pushing him onto his bed and climbing on top of him as Stefan gasped and looked up into his face.

Damon's pupils were huge and he had an erection pressing into Stefan below him.

"What are you doing? You said no sex." Stefan panted as Damon leaned in and kissed his neck, rubbing his groin against his. "Damon, you said…"

"Forget what I said." Damon whispered into his ear and kissed his neck and throat as Stefan frowned and tried to figure out what was going on. "Take me Stefan. Right in your bed. Take me like this morning."

Stefan panted, feeling desire curl in his stomach as Damon continued to rub himself against him and caress him. Stefan rolled them over and began to kiss him deeply and urgently as Damon opened his legs and melted into Stefan's mattress, making small noises of pleasure and need that were driving Stefan insane. Stefan reached down and began to undo Damon's jeans as Damon closed his eyes. He pulled the jeans from his legs and dumped them onto the chair beside the bed when he paused for a second. He'd been trying to get this room back to normal and stop hating his brother so much, so he'd brought the old photograph of them as boys here and sat it in a frame by the night stand.

He looked at it and felt his stomach clench. Damon whispered his name seductively and tilted his hips up at him and Stefan looked down at him, trying to get back into the mood again. He kissed him again, feeling Damon's underwear fit to bursting with his erection. Damon wrapped his legs around Stefan's back, pulling him flush against him when Stefan felt himself begin to panic. He panted and tried to loosen Damon's clutching to him, but Damon gyrated, rubbing their erections together and licking his lips to draw attention to them.

Stefan pulled up suddenly and separated their bodies as he held his chest and tried not to freak out. Damon lay and looked up at the ceiling calmly – not even bothering to ask what was wrong. Then Stefan realised why. This had been a test. He huffed hurt and Damon sat up on his elbows and looked at him.

"Making a point huh?" He almost wanted to punch him and Damon gave a small frown and sat up fully.

"I'm not punishing you." He said gently and Stefan shook his head at him angrily. "Stefan, why did you stop? I didn't stop you – you pulled away from me."

"What?" Stefan panted, slightly confused as he tried not to become angry again.

"You stopped. Why? Think." Damon said simply and looked to the photograph on the nightstand pointedly.

Stefan looked to it too and let out a tired and unhappy sigh, closing his eyes.

"Do you get it now?" Damon reached out and squeezed his shoulder and Stefan nodded and swallowed down some tears. "Rome wasn't built in a day. When you can make love to me here, where we were family – where so much of who we are developed, then you'll know that you really want this. Want me."

"And you could have sex with me here? In your bed?!" Stefan shot at him accusingly and Damon looked at him confidently.

"Yes."

Stefan huffed mockingly and turned away from him, throwing his jeans back at him.

"No you couldn't." He said bitterly and Damon grabbed him from behind and blurred them to his bedroom, throwing him down as he gasped.

Damon's eyes were burning and Stefan sat up.

"This room doesn't mean anything to you anymore. It's empty." Stefan pointed out and Damon huffed annoyed and looked around.

"Ok." Damon sat annoyed and grabbed him again, blurring down to the lounge and throwing him onto the sofa in front of the fire. "Satisfied with this location?" He asked bitterly and Stefan panted and nodded.

Yes, they spent most of their time here, drinking and talking. Being brothers, planning, fighting, remembering the past. This was the best place of significance. Damon climbed on top of him and began to kiss him passionately and Stefan tried to relax. He felt strange again, even though they were only kissing. But they were kissing on the sofa they'd shared as brothers. It did feel…it didn't feel…

He sighed and bit his lip, trying to focus on how much love and desire he felt for Damon - Damon's naked body, being inside of him this morning, all of the wild, fantastic sex they'd shared previously, all the feelings…

Damon kissed down and undid his jeans, sucking his manhood into his mouth as Stefan panted and tilted into him. God it felt so good. Damon was a master at this. He tried not to look around and imagined they were at the apartment and Damon stopped and slipped him from his mouth.

"Stefan."

Stefan grunted.

"Open your eyes."

"Why?" He opened his eyes.

"Look at me."

"I am looking at you!" He said annoyed again and Damon scowled angrily.

"I said, Look. At. Me."

"I am!"

"Who am I?" Damon said.

"For fuck sake!"

"Stefan I'm going to fuck you right here on this couch because you asked me to. You want me to don't you?"

Stefan panted and didn't respond as he tried to figure out what Damon was thinking again.

"I could fuck and suck and marry you, right here on this fucking couch, in front of the whole of the godamn Mystic Falls parish because I love you."

"Damon…"

"Stefan do you want me to have sex with you right now?" Damon began to remove his jeans and pump his manhood and Stefan squeezed his eyes closed. "Because I'm aching for you and I want to. Unless you tell me to stop because you still think of me as your brother only, despite your memories."

"Damon, don't torture me." Stefan croaked. "I can't just forget you're my brother just like that. I can't!"

"I'm not asking you to. Of course you can't, that's what I've been telling you. But I have to be all, both, all one at the same time. Just like you are for me. So what are we doing? Are we having sex here Stefan?" Damon opened Stefan's legs and unzipped himself, pumping his flesh as Stefan tried to breathe.

Stefan looked around at the room, at their family history, their things, their relics and he closed his eyes and grunted.

"No."

Damon tucked himself back in his jeans immediately and sat back as Stefan put his arms over his eyes and hid his face. Damon re-dressed him gently, kissing his stomach as he buttoned up his jeans for him and Stefan removed his arms and looked at him feeling betrayed and hurt.

"Get to know me Stefan. Want to get to know me, because if you can't love me fully I have to move on and so do you." Damon spoke gently and Stefan sat up as Damon pulled him into his lap and hugged him.

"You're a fucking asshole." Stefan whispered as he buried his face in Damon's neck and Damon chuckled and kissed his head.

"Yeah, not everything about me has changed."


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49 TNB

Damon had known it was a harsh way to do it but he knew Stefan wasn't going to stop trying to coax him into sex and touching. He could see how badly his brother wanted to throw himself in at the deep end and figure out how to swim afterwards – but that was not his brother - that was his young Stef right there at the surface. His brother always thought things out, planned things, tortured himself over decisions and right now he wasn't doing that. That was an intrinsic part of who he was and he had to learn to find the balance between both compulsions. As much as Damon wanted to allow Stefan to simply get carried away and deal with the consequences later when he was thinking as himself – it was too risky.

Stefan was justifiably mad and angry with him, despite the fact that he knew and understood why Damon had played it this way. As much as it pained him to, he left when Stefan said he wanted some time to think to himself for a few hours. Everything in his body clenched and the fear that had been nagging him in the back of his mind came out screeching. Stefan might now finally realise that this couldn't happen, that he couldn't get over this.

So, he left him, sitting by the fire with a bourbon and decided to walk. They'd left his car at the apartment but he didn't mind if he had to walk back there. He wandered, preparing himself for the worst and thought on going to the Grill and just getting loaded. It was his first instinct – old habits dying hard as they say and he stopped as he deliberated with himself. He'd changed for his young Stef. If he would never be part of how Stefan treated him now, he already knew that he couldn't have a relationship with him – even a brotherly one. He really didn't believe he could revert. All his life he'd loved exactly three people like that – Katherine, Elena and Stef. Katherine still had her hooks in his heart despite how hard he fought sometimes, Elena…he'd always love her and truth be told had the love he'd found for Stef not been something so entirely different, he may have loved only her till he died. He loved permanently it seemed and there was no doubt in his mind that he'd love Stefan forever too.

He liked who he was becoming now. He felt like he might actually be able to become a good person. Months ago he'd never have stopped Stefan from screwing him until he freaked out eventually and had a meltdown when he realised what he'd done with his brother – forever his brother. Once the dust would have settled, his forward thinking, planning, moping, emotionally OCD brother would have re-emerged like a phoenix from the flames and he would have realised what he had done and Damon would have let him, because he wanted him. Old Damon would have taken what he wanted for as long as he could and dealt with the repercussions later too. It was shit like that that had fucked up so much of his life and he saw it now. He owned it and he didn't want that life anymore. So, he walked into Mystic Falls and had one bourbon as he tried to plan his future.

His special package felt like it was growing heavier in his top pocket every day – like a child growing in a womb and he patted it and sighed. He'd have to make a decision about this soon but he wasn't ready yet. His cell buzzed with a text and he looked at it anxiously.

"I hate you."

His heart clenched painfully and he closed his eyes for a second before reading the rest.

"I hate that you are my brother because I love you Damon."

He was trying to think of what to respond with when his cell buzzed with more messages.

"I hate your fucking arrogance, making me try and want you in our family home."

"I hate that you are ok with everything when I'm terrified."

Damon swallowed down bile.

"I hate that you left me when I asked you to."

What? He wanted to have some time to think. That's what he'd said. Did he want Damon to just be an asshole and refuse to leave? He frowned.

"I hate that all I can think about is wanting you to be here right now, you godamn son of a bitch."

Damon stood up and dumped some cash on the table, leaving immediately and heading back there. He practically ran all the way as his cell remained silent. He got to the front door of the Boarding House and Stefan practically threw it open and grabbed him. He gasped in surprise and Stefan buried his face in his neck as Damon held him and breathed in the scent of his hair. They stood there for a few minutes before Damon pulled back and cupped his face.

"I love you." He whispered and Stefan nodded and searched his eyes. "Get your coat."

Stefan was quiet but he didn't seem angry anymore as Damon drove this time, resting his hand on Stefan's thigh again.

"Where are we going?"

"New Orleans." Damon smiled at him and Stefan raised an eyebrow.

"Any reason in particular?"

"Maybe."

Stefan gave a small smile at Damon's teasing and held his hand on top of Damon's as they drove. It was a long drive but luckily Damon had planned ahead and ordered a hotel room for the night. When they got there they were both tired. They checked in and Stefan looked at him nervously.

"So, we still have an embargo on any touching here and the first place you take me to is a hotel?"

"Calm down, separate rooms."

"You don't trust me?" Stefan snorted. "Or you don't trust you?"

"Both." Damon smirked and Stefan smiled in response as they walked to their adjoining rooms.

"Plus, I know how much time you like to spend on your hero hair and I just can't be bothered sharing a bathroom with that." Damon teased.

"Wow, if you could write a book on things you shouldn't say on first dates, you could be a millionaire brother." Stefan chuckled and Damon winked and went to open his door, when Stefan stopped him, touching his arm.

Stefan leaned in and they kissed gently and softly for a few seconds before Stefan pulled back.

"Good night." He whispered and Damon watched him enter his room and close the door as he took a moment to breathe out his emotion and desperate need to want to stay in Stefan's room with him just to watch him sleep.

"Good night brother." He smiled and then entered his own room.

The next morning Damon awoke to Stefan chapping at the door. He dragged himself from the bed and opened it, blinking at the light in the hallway.

"So are you going to take me on a date or is my first date a hotel room solo?" Stefan jested and Damon rubbed his eyes and let him inside.

"Nope." He moved to his bathroom to wash as Stefan sat down on his bed and waited. "I thought maybe a dual purpose would be good."

"Dual purpose? What are you talking about?" Stefan's interest peaked and Damon chuckled.

He huffed as he waited, Damon giving away no more information until he was fully clothed and smelling too good in Stefan's opinion. Stefan eyed him hungrily and looked away when Damon did the same to him, now that he was fully awake.

"Ok, breakfast first." Damon said and tossed a blood bag at him from his suitcase.

"Damon…I can't." Stefan looked at it nervously.

"Stefan, for three months you drank from the vein. Do you know how?" Damon folded his arms and looked at him. "Because you stopped thinking about being a ripper. You stopped focussing on what might happen and you just took what you needed. Feeding was no bigger a deal to you than doing your hair. Wait, maybe that's not an accurate comparison." Damon jested and Stefan sighed.

Damon crossed the room and sat down next to him, taking his hand.

"If you're climbing a mountain and all you think about is that you might fall, then you're gonna."

Stefan took a deep breath and looked at the blood bag again.

"Baby steps, so I brought a blood bag. When we get home Leyla wants to see you."

"What?! Damon are you crazy..?" Stefan panicked and Damon put his fingers into Stefan's hair at the nape of his neck and circled with his thumb as Stefan hyperventilated.

"You fed from her almost every day and you never hurt her Stefan. So this ripper thing is in your head. It's not who you are like you've always believed. You proved that to all of us and hey…" He placed a small kiss on Stefan's cheek and nuzzled him with his nose, "I was just as surprised as anyone that you could it, incompletely phased. Remember some of that control you used to have those three months. Let that part of you come out." Damon's eyes were so large and full of empathy that Stefan actually had to blink to get his brain going as he stared into their depths of blue.

How had their roles reversed?

"Feed." He whispered and Stefan took a deep breath and tore the top of the bag open, placing it to his lips and sucking some into his mouth.

Damon picked one up and did the same as he watched Stefan's expression melt into pure pleasure. There was just no comparison in the taste of human to animal blood. Stefan closed his eyes and drank it deeply, reaching out to hold Damon's hand as he did so and Damon gulped his down quickly so that he could kiss Stefan's jaw and shoulder in encouragement that one bag was enough. Stefan finished the bag and the veins in his face still tingled. He looked at Damon and Damon cupped his cheek and kissed him tenderly until his hunger faded again. Stefan inhaled deeply as Damon pulled their mouths apart again and looked at him happily.

"Now, we are on our date." Damon smiled and stood, pulling him up.

"Where are we going?"

"The National Museum on Magazine." Damon replied, ushering him out of the room and locking it behind them as Stefan turned to him.

"The National Museum?"

"Yup."

"Why would we need to go there, we…were there for most of that Damon?" He pointed out and Damon smiled.

"Yes but as two very different people. There's an exhibit on this week that I think you might want to see."

"Ok, but you're buying my ticket brother." Stefan slapped his shoulder and they chuckled and headed out.

The museum was much larger than Damon remembered, having expanded and grown so much over the years. Even having been part of those decades of history still didn't prepare you for the emotion the exhibits evoked and he found himself back in time and remembering dead friends and a crazy war. Stefan was similarly affected, especially considering he'd served at the front line practically – when Damon had been supposed to be going with him and didn't show – or so Stefan still believed.

"Why did you leave me at that train station waiting for you? You never have told me." He asked him as they gazed up at old photographs of the men in their uniforms, waiting for the trains to take them onwards to battle.

Damon sighed.

"I was there Stefan."

"What?" Stefan turned to him in surprise.

"I was there and I was going with you." Damon still looked at the photos as Stefan gaped at him.

"Why, what..?"

"Lexi." Damon said and looked at him briefly. "She caught me just before you saw me. Told me to let you go. That I'd ruin you."

Stefan exhaled and ran his hands through his hair.

"I would have." Damon looked at him again and Stefan looked at him sadly.

"I was so angry at you. I thought you'd abandoned me all over again."

"That was my M.O." Damon gave a weak smile and Stefan exhaled again.

"You left to protect me."

Damon gave a weak smile and Stefan reached for his hand. Damon looked around sheepishly and Stefan sighed in amusement at his stereotypical embarrassment over public affection of a homosexual nature.

"I remember a guy kissing me and dancing with me on a dance floor surrounded by friends and tons of strangers not so long ago." Stefan whispered in his ear and Damon chuckled and got his point.

"Come on then." Damon smiled and kept his hold on his hand as he led him through to what they were really here for.

Stefan paused as soon as he saw it, suspended from the ceiling as though frozen in time.

"It's a…"

"I know. The British Museum have it here on loan for the week. I thought, why not see it in real scale instead of the $20 kind." Damon grinned as Stefan let go of his hand and moved towards the plane above them.

"It's so big." Stefan said in wonder and smiled and Damon chuckled, behind him.

"I hear that a lot." He joked, but Stefan barely heard his comment as he felt himself fill with emotion.

A real Spitfire. A real one.

"I can't believe it." He croaked and Damon came up behind him, leaning in and resting his chin on Stefan's shoulder. "This plane was really there. It made it out the other end of that war and it's still so beautiful."

"Just like you." Damon whispered and Stefan leaned his head against his affectionately. "You've made it through the war too, just a different one this time, your own one."

They stood admiring the plane for a while before Stefan turned fully into his arms and held him.

"Thank you." He whispered and kissed his mouth sweetly as Damon blushed crimson.

"Don't thank me yet." Damon said as they parted and Stefan raised his eyebrows. "You're turn to date me next."

"You're on." Stefan grinned.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50 TNB

They'd been dating just over a month now and it was getting impossible to avoid the touching rules. Still, Damon was more and more confident that what Stefan was feeling was real fully now, as their dates were mixtures of events encompassing all parts of who they were. Stefan's first date for Damon, involved compelling a few people to allow them to have a go at drag racing. He knew Damon loved his cars fast and furious and so they had dove in and managed not to cause too much trouble to the cars…well, nothing they couldn't afford to fix. Damon took him to clubs where they danced and kissed publically, just like Stefan wanted. They tried to spend some time in both homes – still sleeping in separate rooms though.

Elena and Caroline had come home to visit and couldn't believe their eyes…again, but their response was a little different from before. Now they could see that Stefan was of sound and complete mind and he wasn't being used or manipulated. Damon's feelings had been made clear to them since Stefan had began to remember, so they knew he'd forever be changed.

"And you're sure?" Caroline sat with him one night when Damon had gone back to his apartment. "Before, you weren't still his brother in your head and now…"

"I know. It's been hard to deal with." He nodded in admittance. "I tried to fight it. Hard. There's just so much drawing me back to him though Care."

"Do you think that maybe it's just his companionship that you're craving maybe? I mean you lived here and saw each other every day. Maybe the fact that you don't see him as much now is making you feel like this." She reasoned and he smiled at her and held her hands.

"Caroline Forbes, thank you for being such a good friend."

"Have to try." She sighed.

"It's more than that. I'm not saying that this would have happened in a million years normally. There wouldn't have been a chance in hell of that, but what happened to me in that safe…changed everything forever. It still scares me, just how much about how I feel, what I can do and what I want, has changed because of that, but it has and I can't fight it. This is me now and Damon is better. He is so changed. Maybe that's why this is easier."

She nodded.

"You really loved him, I mean like…really loved him. You proposed to him like twice Stefan." She gave a chuckle and he smirked and nodded. "You were so young and happy. Is it the same kind of feeling now?"

"No. I mean, I remember feeling it that way, but it's almost like I'm helping him grow into something else as he's helping me become whole again. Having two lives thrown together in my head hurts still sometimes. He just seems to know how to get me to let both parts merge when we're together."

"So you've been dating to make sure…before you..?" She raised an eyebrow and he huffed in jest and shook his head.

"Propose again?"

"I thought that was where this was going to go." She admitted and he gazed into the fire as he thought about that. "Have you talked about it?"

"Getting married?" He frowned.

"Getting more serious. I mean I know that you have been, but you haven't been since you were you again – have you?"

"We've been dating." He said simply.

"Not having sex?"

"No." He blushed and she huffed in genuine surprise.

"Wow."

"We wanted to be sure. I mean, he wanted me to be sure. He wants us to make love here, so that he knows it's real." He explained and she sat back in her chair in wonder.

"Damon going without sex for…how long has it been?"

"Four weeks and six days." Stefan sighed and she giggled.

"You want him. Just do it already!"

"We tried and I panicked. I couldn't do it here!" He gestured around to their family relics and obvious signs of their genetic relation and Caroline leaned her head in her hand as she stared at him.

"You said it yourself, he's changed. You've changed. You're not the two brothers who used to live here anymore. All of this stuff is just furniture and memories of people who used to live here Stefan. Don't you want to move on and make some new ones? I mean seriously, Damon might explode any day now if he's been waiting for you that long and you…god nearly five weeks?"

"We're not animals." He chuckled and she shook her head and raised her eyebrows in disagreement. "Oh come on, it was months before Elena and I slept together, how is this that different?"

"Because she was a virgin and human and a girl and you were a stud vampire just waiting for her to be ready. Damon is a randy, bursting at the seams vampire hottie who is desperate to have you. If you want him, then just do it. God…get it out Stefan!" She laughed theatrically.

"You realise you are encouraging and condoning sensational incest and depravity right?"

"Hey, it's nothing I didn't try to stop before. I know when I'm beaten." She held her hands up and they both chuckled as they sipped their coffee in comfortable silence.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They spent a few nights apart. Damon had gigs on with the band and Stefan was trying to secretly practise drums again. It didn't come back as easily as he'd hoped but he was getting there. He just had to relax like before. It was in his head somewhere, he just needed to access it. He wanted it to be a surprise for Damon and he'd been talking to Dave, the singer and Kenny his bassist about it for a few weeks. They'd been supportive. Truth was, they wanted him back. They enjoyed their acoustic gigs but they felt limited without him. They emailed him over recordings so that he could practise and he bought a new set of drums and hid them in the basement. His former drum kit had been unsalvageable as he'd pulled it apart when Damon and he had fought, so Damon still thought that drums would be forever out of the window.

The sex conversation still hadn't come up again and Stefan was beginning to feel it more and more. Truth was that Caroline was right. He was bursting and so was Damon. Every touch between them grew more electric and it was harder and harder to stop at holding hands and kissing. Stefan had even taken to touching himself to help release at night lately. Still, he thought it might help because he was doing it here, in their family home.

For a change their date was low key this weekend. They hadn't seen each other four days and so they wanted it to be just the two of them – no distractions or other people. Damon was tired and arrived and lay down on the couch with a sigh as Stefan poured him a bourbon.

"You ok?"

"Mmmn. Just working." Damon mumbled, closing his eyes.

"With the band?"

"No the…yeah. Christ I don't even know what I'm talking about. Come here." Damon sat up and pulled Stefan down to him, kissing him gently for a few seconds and humming. "I missed you."

"Stay here tonight huh?" Stefan prompted and Damon nodded and yawned. "I'll get you some blood."

"No it's ok, I was at Leyla's earlier. Here." He threw him a warm bag of blood and Stefan caught it and looked at him in surprise. "Not a full pint but she fed me too."

"She shouldn't have." Stefan sighed.

"She's proud of you and wants you home Stefan." Damon raised his glass and sipped his bourbon.

"Do you?" Stefan posed and Damon looked at him in surprise.

"What?"

"Do you want me to come home, permanently?"

"I thought this was your home."

"I want to be wherever you are." Stefan reached out for his hands and Damon chewed his lip. "We've been dating for ages now. I know what I want Damon."

"Stefan it's been a month."

"Nearly five weeks." Stefan ran his fingers through Damon's hair.

Damon closed his eyes and they leant together and kissed, sighing into each other's mouths. Stefan pushed him gently back down onto his back and climbed on top of him. This was the moment to prove to him he wanted this. He was sure of it now, especially after his conversation with Caroline. He began to caress him and Damon tilted into him and hummed. This was the most touching they'd done for a long time.

"What about dinner?" Damon hummed as Stefan kissed around his throat. "Do you want to eat?"

For a change they were going to eat human food as well as drinking their blood bags. It was romantic and Stefan had prepared the dining room so it could feel like a real date. Damon gasped as Stefan ripped his shirt open suddenly, making him sit up to stop him, but his fabric ripped right across to his underarms and made a loud vibrating sound. Stefan pushed him back down, his eyes burning.

"Yeah I want to eat."

"Stefan…"

"I'm starving." Stefan whispered and leaned down to nip at Damon's jeans.

Damon gasped again and grabbed his head frowning.

"This is my date Damon. My choice what we do tonight." Stefan reminded him.

"Stefan it's too soon."

"I'm hungry."

"Then eat something, don't get me all fired up!"

Stefan gave a wicked smile that made Damon's hairs stand on end and he pulled Damon's jeans open fiercely, sending the button popping across the room like the cork out of a bottle – because essentially that was what this was like. Damon needed to be popped in a serious fashion.

"Oh god!" Damon lay his head down as Stefan pushed his face into his groin and inhaled there, smelling his willingness already. "Shit! Shit!" Damon panted and Stefan pulled at his jeans to release his erection.

He began slowly, Damon groaning and clenching the cushions underneath him as he took his time licking the pre-cum from the head of his swollen manhood.

"So hungry Damon." He whispered and Damon arched into his mouth with almost a cry as Stefan swallowed his length.

This time, there was no panic, no fear. Just Damon and him. Just the taste of Damon in his mouth and pushing into him restlessly and panting. He sucked and kneaded, licked and swirled until Damon begged him to stop. He was surprised by that. Damon begging, not to be taken, but for him to stop. Was Damon panicking now? He pulled up slowly, kissing his way up Damon's chest as Damon panted.

"Why do you want me to stop?" He asked and Damon looked at him, half terrified and half animal.

"Is this going to happen?" He struggled to ask and Stefan nodded. "Stefan, are you sure?"

"Yes." Stefan said reassuringly and Damon sat up, forcing him to sit back too as Damon held his erection and squeezed it, trying to calm it down.

Stefan frowned confused.

"What's wrong?"

"I thought, we might have more time." Damon struggled and Stefan stared at him waiting for an explanation. "There's something I have to tell you."

Stefan suddenly felt very nervous and cold. Why was Damon looking at him like that?

"You've changed your mind?"

"No!" Damon said immediately and grabbed at his jeans, pulling them up and trying to hold them together without his button and Stefan sat, pale and shaking as he waited.

"Damon..."

"I thought you wouldn't be able to do this for another little while. I thought I had more time to prepare."

"Prepare for me to be yours completely?"

"No. Shit." Damon put his head in his hands and groaned. "I wanted it to be right."

"What are you talking about?" Stefan said vexed and Damon looked up at him.

"I lied."

"What?"

"I lied to you about what I've been doing."

"What?" Stefan frowned.

"I haven't been helping the band, I've been meeting someone."

"Meeting someone?" Stefan's heart stopped.

"He's been trying to…"

"What are you talking about?!" Stefan shouted, full of emotion and instant jealousy and Damon searched his face horrified for a second as he realised what Stefan was thinking.

"No, no, I'm such an idiot!" He cried and pulled Stefan closer, but Stefan pushed him back. "Stefan, he's a…"

"What? A drag racer? A pilot? A drummer? Who?" Stefan panted and Damon shook his head in dismay.

"He's an estate agent." Damon blurted out and Stefan panted and frowned. "The estate agent."

"Who?" Stefan croaked.

"I never knew whether you would ever love me like that again or want those same things as we did, when we'd planned. I…wanted to see how long I could wait and see, but there were other buyers and he was calling me…I had to make a decision without you."

Stefan breathed as he watched Damon face full of worry and regret as it all finally clicked.

"The house we wanted."

Damon nodded.

"That's why you sold some of our land?"

Damon nodded again.

"But, it wouldn't have been enough, even with that!" Stefan frowned and Damon sighed and looked down at his hands. "How did you get the rest of the money?"

Damon was strangely silent and it worried Stefan even more.

"Damon what did you do?"

"I sold everything." He said.

"What?!" Stefan gasped. "You sold the Boarding House?"

"No! I'd never sell it!" He said in horror and a sadness filled his eyes as Stefan waited to hear the rest.

"Did you kill someone? Compel someone?"

"I sold all the cars. All of them." Damon looked at him, his eyes filling with tears. "It took all of them to make the rest of the money up."

Stefan blinked at him as Damon huffed in remorse and shook his head.

"Stefan I'm so sorry. I know how much you loved them. I thought maybe I could buy them back one at a time before you were ready to come live with me."

"Why are you so upset?"

"They were your cars." Damon said, croaking and Stefan gave a small shake of his head.

"Half of them were broken. I abandoned their restoration. Who bought them from you in that state?" Stefan asked and Damon gave a weak smile and lay down on the sofa again tired as Stefan thought it all through.

"Wait. Some of those cars you couldn't have sold Damon. Not unless you paid someone to restore them. Who?"

Damon rubbed his eyes and Stefan caught a glimpse of grease on his elbow.

"It was you." He whispered in disbelief. "You restored all of those cars for me and sold them?"

Damon nodded and closed his eyes.

"Oh my god." Stefan huffed.

"I'm sorry. I had no right. I thought I could buy them back…"

"I love you." Stefan said and Damon frowned and looked down at him confused. "You did all of that for me? Because I loved that house. I wanted it to be our home and then when I remembered all of my past, I forgot."

"You loved them like your children."

"Not as much as I love you. We can buy other cars." Stefan said gently and Damon sat up and looked to him hopefully. "The house is ours?"

"Yes, but it needs work. I've been trying to make it look like you wanted."

"How long has this been going on?"

Damon swallowed.

"How long?"

"Since Bon Jovi. When I realised that I'd freaked and hurt you I wanted to show you how much it didn't matter. When I left you on the roadside I went back to the estate agent and offered him some of our land. He took it there and then provisionally."

"Provisionally?"

"In principle, but then, you got that witch involved and all hell broke loose and I…I didn't know what to do. You hated me so much."

"But you still wanted the house? Even without me?"

"No, but if I could imagine that you'd have been there, happy…I knew that was where you wanted to be and I had to have that piece of you, of what we might have had, so I kept the agreement in principle."

"What changed?"

"You did and I started to wonder whether you'd ever feel for me again. I wanted to wait until I knew if you could, because you were so angry about me selling the land here. If I couldn't have any relationship with you at all, then I should just move on and take the land back and give to you again."

"The dating. That's why you wanted to date too. To give you time to know whether you should keep it." Stefan rubbed his face, full of emotion.

"Then other buyers started showing up because of the wait but I couldn't rush you. I wanted to know what you really wanted. So I had to bid and the bidding meant I had to sell everything I could."

"All the cars." Stefan nodded and Damon gave a weak smile. "Just the cars?"

"It doesn't matter." Damon shook his head and Stefan reached over and grabbed him.

"What else?"

"My things."

"What?" Stefan frowned.

"I've collected things through the years, just like you have brother. Things that some people feel are valuable now. So I hawked everything."

"You sold all of your things?" Stefan frowned in pain for him and Damon shrugged. "For me?"

"They weren't as important as you, even if you weren't ready yet." Damon sighed and Stefan brought their foreheads together as he shed some tears.

"They were all just things. We can buy new things together." Stefan consoled, kissing Damon's forehead as he ran through a list in his mind of all of the precious items that Damon had prized and taken with him to that apartment.

His original copy of Gone with the Wind – his favourite book. He'd queued for it for hours when he'd bought it to get it signed by the author Margaret Mitchell. It must have been worth a fortune now. Damon loved his books and he usually always got them autographed. He cared for them as though they were jewels and he'd sold them all.

"Oh god, I can't believe you." Stefan croaked as they held each other. "So many of your beautiful things gone. Damon I will get them back for you, I promise." He held Damon's face between his hands and Damon smiled and cupped his face.

"I don't need them if I have you. I can't buy you."

"I think you just did." Stefan gave a tear stained chuckle and they kissed and nuzzled each other until they lay down on the sofa again.

"Do you want to marry me?" Stefan whispered and Damon stroked through his hair and sighed.

"Not yet."

"Why?"

"Because you don't mean it yet. I can wait."

Stefan closed his eyes and buried his face in Damon's shoulder as they gently fell asleep.

Stefan woke up a few hours later to the smell of food and he jumped up in surprise. Damon was gone.

"Damon?" He called and heard Damon hum from the dining room.

He walked through just as Damon was placing their food down with a glass of blood to go. They smiled at each other and sat down.

"What about the apartment?" Stefan asked as he enjoyed the food he'd prepared but abandoned prior to Damon cooking it.

"I had to let it go last week. I needed the extra cash."

Stefan stopped eating.

"You let it go? Then where have you been staying?"

"In the Camaro, Leyla is holding the rest of your things." Damon shrugged and Stefan sighed. "It's bigger than it looks."

"I've heard you say that before." Stefan joked and they both chuckled and continued to eat.

"When can we move in?"

Damon coughed and took a sip of wine.

"What?" Stefan frowned.

"Not till you're ready. Just because I've proved my undying love for you by selling my entire life doesn't mean I expect you to up and drop everything in yours. I can work on the place a while."

"I'm not a precious flower Damon." Stefan pointed at him with a fork. "And I'm tired of wanting you every night. I'm coming with you tomorrow."

"There's no bed Stefan, no furniture…"

"Then we bring it from here."

"And what about here? You can't just empty the place."

"Why not? Let's just sell it." Stefan put another mouthful of food in his mouth and Damon stared at him.

Stefan was aware that Damon was gobsmacked and not eating and he cleared his throat.

"It's never been home since you left. I don't want it without you."

Damon started eating again as he glowed inside. This was really happening. Stefan was committing.

They ate and joked until they were full and relaxed and returned to the lounge. Stefan looked towards the sofa and grinned at Damon.

"What?" Damon chuckled.

"Time to consummate this Damon. I'm going to die if we don't."

Damon laughed hard and hugged him, kissing his cheeks and nose.

"You don't have to prove anything to me on an old sofa that countless corpses have lain on and we've had to have washed."

"Please, I want you. Kissing isn't enough anymore. Besides, you've just bought us a house."

"I want you too." Damon whispered and Stefan pulled their groins together.

"Then have me in my bed." Stefan purred.

"No, in mine."

"Why?"

"You think I'm leaving that bed? It's coming with and if we are christening any furniture it'll be the biggest bed in the land." Damon purred and kissed his jaw and Stefan nodded.

"Deal."


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51 TNB

They were both, actually nervous. It felt like this moment had been built up so much now that as they both began to kiss and undress each other, their hands were shaking.

"You ok?" Stefan asked as Damon kissed around his jaw line, into his neck.

"Yeah. You sure?"

Stefan gave a chuckle and hummed. Damon kissed around to his mouth and they exhaled and opened their mouths to each other. Damon's skin was clammy. He'd obviously been working hard on the land to their new home, so he smelled of fresh air. Stefan stroked his back, tilting his head to allow Damon more access to his mouth and they staggered backwards onto the bed. This was the first time in ages that they had been naked together. They were both hard before they had even began to undress but strangely it was the texture of Damon's legs gently rubbing his that Stefan enjoyed the most right now. Damon caressed him, kissing down his chest as his hair dragged down, and tickling Stefan's chin. Stefan chuckled and ran his fingers through it. It had gotten so long recently and he liked it. It was almost down to Damon's jaw line and it meant that he could get a good grip of it as Damon teased his nipples and made him swell in his groin. They would be lucky if they even got to penetration at this point, they were both so riled up. Each breath was a pant, everything felt heightened, even a soft slide of Damon's hands under his bottom made him feel like he might climax like a virginal teenager.

"Damon…Damon…" He panted and couldn't help moving underneath.

Damon was similarly affected, panting and biting him, unable to collect himself. Damon took his manhood into his mouth and he had to yelp. He couldn't take it. This would be over in a second and he wanted intercourse. He wanted Damon to have what he'd been waiting for for so long. He grabbed Damon's hair and pulled and Damon released him and looked up, looking dazed and drunk.

"Put it in before I die." Stefan gasped and Damon jumped from the bed, reaching for his jeans as Stefan whined in surprise. "Where are you going?"

"Lube." Was all Damon could say as he fought to get into his pants pocket for the small bottle.

They'd never really needed to use it before, but Stefan realised that Damon had planned for them being this horny. If Damon prepared his entrance like he normally did, Stefan would never make it through without climaxing. They'd have to do it this way instead. Damon climbed back on and between his legs as he tilted his hips a little. Stefan opened them wide, not feeling embarrassed or afraid at all. This was it finally. He could see how excited Damon was. His whole face was red, his eyes black and huge – no trace of blue at all. Damon had been waiting long enough.

The liquid was cold and he jumped as Damon began to insert his fingers. Damon smiled and began to kiss his inner thigh as he worked him, stretching gently and easing in and out. Stefan closed his eyes and sighed, rocking his hips to help. He'd been so afraid of this last time. The thought of his brother inside of him had made him freak out but now Damon was all. He felt tears well in his eyes as he thought on it all and Damon bit into his thigh and drank a little to further relax his muscles. He sobbed to himself silently and wiped his eyes quickly when Damon sat up ready.

"You ready?" Damon whispered and he smiled and nodded.

Damon pulled him forward and sat with his legs bend behind him but splayed, almost like a meditation pose. Had they done it like this before? He pulled until Stefan was on his lap but still lying down, Stefan's legs over his and to the sides of his waist. Stefan opened his mouth to breathe and Damon guided himself inside of him. Stefan's breath caught in his throat and Damon rubbed circles into his hips as he thrusted and pulled Stefan forward at the same time. This was gentler and not as deep but nice. Damon obviously wanted to start slow. As the seconds passed Stefan felt more demanding. He wanted it harder, deeper. Damon was still thinking of him as being fragile. He grunted and rocked into him with intention and Damon grinned and lifted his legs from around his sides and onto his shoulders as Stefan let out a huge gasp.

"Deep enough for you?" Damon chuckled and Stefan moaned as Damon thrust in again.

Now it really got serious. Stefan cried each time Damon hit his prostate and in this position it happened nearly each time. He growled like an animal and arched, tearing his nails across the bed linens and ripping them as Damon panted and leaned them forward so Stefan's knees were against his chest.

"Fuck!" Stefan cried out and Damon began to ram him desperately.

They were both breathing so erratically they could both faint as they couldn't contain the sensation. Stefan almost screamed a few times and Damon held onto the headboard with one hand, breaking one of the sections as he howled and climaxed inside of him. Stefan cried and tried to push back his legs. Damon lay his head on Stefan's chest but brought his legs down to rest at his sides as he took a moment to breathe.

"Please Damon, please…finish me please…" Stefan was almost delirious with fear that Damon was too spent to continue when Damon pulled out of him, making him jolt.

Damon turned his back and leaned forward, offering Stefan his entrance and Stefan gasped and threw himself at his back hungrily. Where was the lube though? He growled and bit into Damon's neck as Damon fell forward exhausted, onto his forearms and Stefan opened his buttocks and pushed inside making him shout and completely collapse onto his face. He rammed him, quick and fast. He was so tight inside but he didn't seem to be in pain so Stefan mounted him like an animal, practically digging his teeth into the back of his neck to hold him there as he thrusted himself into a frenzy and exploded inside of him. Damon cried out too, as Stefan clenched his jaw down onto his shoulder and drank deep as he poured into him.

Blood, semen and sweat covered them. The room must stink and the bed was a disaster, but neither of them could move. Stefan slept on top of Damon's back, gently releasing his bite on his shoulder as he drifted to sleep and Damon lay breathing. He didn't want to sleep in case he woke up and it had been a dream. Stefan softened inside of him and they began to leak so he gently rocked his hips and Stefan roused and rolled off of him on to his back. Damon turned onto his side and lay his face into Stefan's neck. This was real.

His entrance burned a little. That'd serve him right but he wanted Stefan to have him too and he hadn't had the energy to ride on top of him. He closed his eyes, sighing and Stefan roused again and leaned over him protectively, sniffing.

"Hmm?" Damon grunted as Stefan sniffed him.

"You're bleeding."

"Hmmn." Damon simply sighed and began to doze.

Stefan sat up and opened Damon's legs, making him mumble unhappily. He turned him onto his back and Damon fell asleep as Stefan realised he'd torn at his entrance. He'd been too vigorous without the lube. He leaned down and licked him to soothe it and Damon hummed. There wasn't much blood but it must have hurt. He licked and watched it heal and then he sat back up, looking at how debauched Damon looked. Damon had been working manually all day, for several days and then he'd taken him with care and passion and gentleness. His body was kaput for now. He'd probably sleep all night but it didn't matter, because from this point on, every night Damon would sleep next to him. No more reaching out in the night for an empty space. No more touching himself as he imagined Damon was sucking him. No more feeling alone.

Their bodies were pretty gross. They were covered in each other. Stefan rose from the bed and went to Damon's bathroom, grabbing a warm sponge and some soap. He washed Damon slowly, almost like he was massaging, so he wouldn't waken him. Once he was clean, Stefan kissed his stomach and inhaled the freshness there. He went back to the bathroom and washed himself down, amazed at how long it took for Damon's semen to stop coming out of him. He almost laughed at how much there was. In the end he gave up and jumped in the shower instead, cleaning himself that way. He dried himself off and stepped back into the room. Damon was exactly where he'd left him and he suddenly didn't want him to have to wake surrounded by smells and gore. If he carried him through to his bed though, he'd definitely wake him. So he grabbed some new linens and changed one side of the bed first, rolling Damon carefully from side to side until he had managed to change the entire bed with clean sheets. He grabbed the blankets and dumped them in the hamper, going to his own room for his blankets. He came back and climbed in beside him again, kissing his neck and throat as he pulled the blankets around them.

Damon turned to him and rested their noses aside each other as he exhaled and held his side. Clearly Stefan wasn't the only one who still turned reaching for the other at night. It was just that this time, they both finally there on the receiving end. They slept again, comfortable and happy.

The next morning brought more sex and passion as they caught up on what they had been desperate for. Now that Damon had slept over ten hours, there was no stopping him and Stefan's stamina wasn't so bad either. They made love on the floor, against a bookcase – which was thankfully empty now that Damon had made the room bare, in the bathtub when they'd been trying to calm down and prepare to go out and stop touching each other long enough to do that! They were insatiable. No room was un-christened. Stefan even jumped him and fucked him against the wall in the basement as Damon went to retrieve the last of the blood bags there. It was just as well they were vampires and their bodies healed from such vigorous sex.

The estate agent calling again was the only thing that stopped round ten of sex as Damon had entered Stefan and began to whisper dirty thoughts into his ear on the sofa. The cell wrang loudly and they both groaned wanting to ignore it as Stefan reached and pumped himself as Damon squeezed his bottom and went deeper.

"Uhhh! Never fucking leave my body again Damon." Stefan slurred. "Stay inside me."

Still the cell wrang and Damon sat up, still thrusting and looked over.

"Don't you dare!" Stefan grunted in warning and Damon gave a breathless laugh as he sped up, making Stefan gasp and shake.

The cell clicked off and they resumed their kissing and moaning until the house phone began to ring loudly. Damon buried his head in Stefan's neck and sighed.

"Stefan…it could be important."

Stefan growled.

"What if it's Elena?"

Stefan groaned unhappily and they paused and caught their breath as the answer machine clicked on.

"Just leaving a message for Mr Damon Salvatore, the missives have been signed officially so you're good to go. Congratulations."

They looked at each other and grinned.

"Round ten?" Damon smirked and Stefan pulled his hips in again to finish.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That first day out of the Boarding House had been so strange and he'd kissed Damon all the more as he'd realised just how much Damon had given up to get them this. He had indeed been living in his car for a few days and all of his things were gone. He'd even sold some of his designer clothes that he so loved. The things in Stefan's apartment had had no real value, being contemporary, but Leyla had volunteered to store some of the books and clothes that still remained there.

Stefan had felt his chest tighten as they'd approached Damon's Camaro and he'd seen evidence of him sleeping in the back. He should have come home to the Boarding House. Damon had kissed his forehead and assured him it was worth it. When Stefan jumped into the car, the first thing he saw was the little model plane on the dash. He held it, full of emotion and Damon winked and took them to their new home.

"Hey." Damon had curled his fingers into the back of his head and stroked his neck with his numb. "I've been holding onto this. I thought maybe you'd like to see it."

Stefan looked at him and Damon opened the top pocket of his jacket and withdrew a small envelope. Stefan frowned and watched in interest as Damon opened it and pulled out a photograph.

"A photograph?" Stefan raised his eyebrows and took it from him.

It was him, taken from that day that they'd checked out this house for the first time. Damon must have taken it with his phone when he wasn't looking and printed it. He looked to him confused.

"Look at your face." Damon hinted and Stefan looked at it. "I could see it all on your face that day. You wanted to be here. You could see our lives here."

Stefan looked at it, trying to see what Damon did. It had been taken by him standing staring out of the window into the meadow the property owned and he tried to remember what had been running through his mind in that moment. He'd thought of them being married and happy, having horses to ride and the barn to build their cars. He thought about spending the rest of their days here, no matter how the people around them noticed their lack of aging. He was filled with the spirit of the house. He looked to Damon and smiled. This meant more to Damon than to him clearly – how long had he carried it around?

Damon took the photograph back and shook his head feeling embarrassed.

"It was, just a moment."

"I get it. It gave you hope I'd come back to you that way." Stefan squeezed his shoulder.

"No." Damon smiled and pressed their foreheads together. "It was the first time I knew I wanted to be with you forever. You could see our happiness so much clearer than I could, your face gave me that. Your expression…it made me believe it."

Stefan kissed him and sighed, smiling at how romantic and smooshy Damon had become. He liked it. He liked that Damon could be this gentle and sensitive and then take him so powerfully and forcefully in their bed. He was balanced now.

As they drew away from each other, Damon emptied the envelope further and produced a key, handing it to him.

"After you."

"You had a key too?"

"Agreement in principle, plus a little compulsion." Damon shrugged.

"The estate agent was on vervain." Stefan pointed out as he slipped the key into the lock.

"Yeah, his secretary wasn't." Damon smirked and Stefan gave him a look of amused disapproval as they opened the door and stepped inside.

Damon had been here working hard, it was obvious. Some of the wood had been stripped back to the original and he knew that that was one of Damon's pet peeves about most modern houses. He must have been stripping it himself.

They had the furniture from the boarding house – some of it, here by the end of the day as Stefan wandered around getting a feel for their new home. Damon smiled and left him to it as he continued working.

It took a few months of hard work before the new house looked like they wanted. Stefan had envisioned a barn for working on his cars, although sadly now the cars where all gone. He did feel melancholy a little at that, at having not having had the chance to finish them himself. His beloved crank handle car was gone. He'd never intended on selling that one, never. There had been more than a few occasions, as the days passed, as he'd been out walking their land, that he shed a few tears over that one. It was silly to get so attached to an inanimate object, but still – it had been another of Damon's gifts that had enabled that car to work. That little handle.

Leyla came to visit on the fourth day and brought the remainder of his things with her. He hadn't seen her ages it felt and they hugged warmly as he guided her inside. Damon was hammering and hard at work up in their bedroom. He'd had to get a replacement headboard for his bed because they'd broken it with their first passionate night tighter at the Boarding House and he'd decided just to make the bed into a four poster. So Stefan escorted her around, showing her the largeness of the place.

"It's kind of like the other house a little, in architecture." She noted and he paused as he realised she was right. "Except this one you're building yourselves?" She hinted to the racket Damon was making.

"He's just showing off, I'm doing the other half of the work."

"He would be an alpha male." Leyla chuckled and Stefan smiled at that. "So when's the date?"

"Huh?"

"The wedding?" She asked and he chuckled.

"I wish people would stop asking me that. He is still my brother you know. I think we might have to draw the line somewhere."

"That's a bunch of crap." She pouted. "It didn't bother you before."

"It doesn't bother me now, but we don't need it. I don't think he's that fussed anyway. We have our home now and he knows it's for real."

"I don't know." She sighed as they walked the grounds together. "He's old fashioned."

"So am I."

"Yeah but Gone with the Wind? Seriously? I practically fell over and had to be resuscitated at that one." She joked and Stefan smirked and nodded. "He's actually a romantic. I'd never have known."

"Yeah, he always was, he just liked to pretend he didn't care." Stefan paused and sighed unhappily.

"What?"

"All of his things."

"I know. It broke my heart to watch him do it and I didn't even know what half of it was. He made out like it was all just junk anyways." She slid an arm around his shoulder. "He did it for you."

"It was too much, we could have found somewhere else that we could have afforded. We could have sold the Boarding House and still had enough money to buy three more."

"Yeah but, you weren't the same guy anymore for a while. If he'd tried to sell that place you would've…"

"Tried to take his head off with an axe?" He finished for her, looking at her painfully and she leant their foreheads together.

"Your lives are crazy. I never quite believed it till I saw it. No wonder the other you wanted as far away from Mystic Falls as possible."

"That's not what this place is about." He reassured her. "Mystic Falls will always be home, but this just feels…"

"Like yours." She smiled and he nodded. "Well, I'm glad that you're nearer to me now anyway. According to the Mayor, your still allowed the feeding privileges. You hungry?"

He swallowed, still nervous about feeding from her neck. He'd made excuses not to until now and that's why Damon had been bringing her blood in bags for him still warm.

"Come on." She urged, pulling him back towards the house. "You said it yourself, whoever you used to be that couldn't feed on people is gone."

"Not gone." He frowned.

"No, just evolved." She corrected and he nodded.

"Damon, dinner time!" She called up the stairwell and Damon stopped what he was doing and walked down at human pace.

"Is Dina coming for me?" He wiped the sweat from his forehead as he wiped his hands down the front of his jeans.

"Nope, sorry it's all me today so just enough. Sorry." She smiled apologetically. "If you come into town later you can fill up. Your face has been missed." She smirked at him and he actually blushed and didn't have a sarcastic retort.

Stefan opened his mouth to decline when she pulled him over to a chair and shushed him. She sat down and beckoned to him. He looked to Damon and Damon tilted his head towards her.

"Remember how many times you've done this." Damon said gently and Stefan looked to her neck and inhaled.

He closed his eyes searching for his Zen place and felt his fangs fill his mouth. He looked to her neck again and leaned forward as she drew him into her, stroking through his hair as he bit down and sucked his first mouthful of fresh human blood into his mouth. He moaned in pleasure and he felt her sigh. God it was so good! He sucked in more, swallowing her like a fine wine as she panted and stroked his hair. How was he going to stop? He had absolutely no desire too. He held her closer and heard her climax under him. He could smell her sex, warm and moist from it and it made him even more satisfied as he swallowed.

He became aware suddenly of Damon's lips at his neck whispering to him to stop. He grunted and felt Damon's arms slide around him and kiss the back of his neck and ear, whispering seductively about how good she'd be next time. Stefan felt his brain kick in amidst Damon's kisses and the strength of his arms around him, holding him despite the fact that he was the predator. He pulled his teeth out and tilted back into Damon's shoulder.

Damon kissed the side of his neck and gave him a squeeze.

Leyla sighed and smiled groggily and Damon helped Stefan stand up, holding him around his side as he kissed his cheek.

"You did it." He stroked Stefan's cheeks till the veins went away and Stefan smiled and looked to her.

He'd taken a little more than she'd said to, so she had drifted to sleep. Stefan frowned in remorse. Damon was hungry and he's taken his share.

"I'm ok. I'll live." Damon kissed the tip of his nose. "Plenty of willing necks in town."

"I did it." Stefan sighed and closed his eyes. "I did it."


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52 TNB

It was difficult to hide the fact that Stefan was practising his drumming skills again, now that they were living together. Without the need for jobs due to their family wealth, Stefan had to find other excuses to get away for a few hours at a time. Leyla was good cover always and Damon seemed none the wiser.

His drumming was coming along and he was feeling more and more confident that he could really do this. He'd organised with the guys in the band to have a rehearsal together at the Boarding House that afternoon and had told Damon that he was driving to Whitmore to meet Elena for lunch. Damon was building them a barn anyway, so he seemed happy enough not to be suspicious.

Damon waved him off in the Aston and Stefan headed back to Mystic Falls, happily humming along to the radio. They had talked about putting the Boarding House up for sale so that they could just pool all their money together again but Damon wanted to hold off on that. Stefan didn't really understand why but he'd agreed to it for the moment. At least now that they were sharing their family accounts, Damon would never have to worry about money again anyway.

When Stefan pulled up at the house he let himself in and arranged the kit in the lounge. They had removed most of the furniture from here now anyway so there was plenty of room to practise. The rest of the band arrived and oowed and ahhed at the size of the place. Stefan always forgot just how impressive their home had been. They didn't waste time as they wanted to schedule a gig for that weekend and Stefan didn't want to be nervous. Damon was doing his usual stuff for them and had already said to Stefan about going to the bar and hanging out that night to catch up with everyone.

He was beyond excited that he was going to keep Damon out of the loop and then just wander up there and play. He was giddy. They rehearsed for a few hours until Stefan felt like he knew what he was doing. They were all supportive and complimentary at how much hard work he'd put in and he felt ready.

He drove home happy and relaxed, when he noticed what looked like an altercation up ahead a few miles - his vampire sight being intensified by drinking from Leyla now, rather than animals. Damon was fighting with someone – a man. What the hell was going on? He sped up, but by the time he approached the land that let him into their property, the other person was long gone and Damon was inside. He walked up to the house, looking around in query and then entered the house. Damon had a fire going in the hearth and had set their new dining table with glasses of wine and plates.

Stefan smiled, glowing inside and went to find him. He was in the kitchen, pulling some steak out of the oven. It smelled glorious.

"Hey." Damon smiled and kissed him briefly as he set the steaks down on the hob.

"Hey, who was that?" Stefan slid his arms around Damon's stomach and held him from behind as Damon cut in and made sure the steak still had a bloody inside.

"Hmmn?"

"That guy? I was driving up when I saw you fighting with someone."

Damon tensed a little.

"Oh yeah." He said in a strained voice and Stefan released his hold and let him turn around.

He looked towards Stefan with a guilty expression and Stefan frowned.

"What?"

"Don't be too mad ok?" Damon swallowed and Stefan exhaled.

"Why? What did you do?"

Damon clenched his jaw and Stefan huffed.

"Damon, what did you do?" He asked pointedly.

"You're always so quick to assume it's something that I did." Damon pointed out a little defensively and walked into the dining room with their food.

Stefan followed him with his mouth open.

"Thought those days were over." Damon mumbled.

"So did I, but your face is telling me something different Damon." Stefan said as Damon sat down and cut a piece of his steak.

Stefan sat down confused. Damon was normally such a gentleman – as hokey as it sounded, he always let Stefan sit first and truth be told, Stefan liked that. He looked at Damon as he put the steak in his mouth and chewed, staring at the wall.

"So…are you going to tell me?" Stefan pressed and Damon swallowed his mouthful as though it was painful to do so. "Who was the guy?"

"The jerk wad." Damon mumbled and looked down at his plate as he cut another piece slowly.

"The…wait my old customer? The one you compelled?" Stefan pressed and Damon nodded. "What the hell was he doing here?"

"I called an associate of his seemingly." Damon said irritated. "Tried to get the crank handle car back."

Stefan paused as his heart squeezed a little, in happiness, but it was short-lived.

"So, what happened?"

"The guy put two and two together and realised what I must be." Damon swallowed another bite.

"How?"

"Because of his associate's lifestyle changes since he came back from here." Damon said and stopped eating as he fiddled with his fork and avoided Stefan's gaze.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Stefan reached over and stopped his fidgeting hands. "You compelled him not to come back again. That's what you said. What's the problem?

Damon paled, his guilty expression deepening enough to get Stefan's stomach churning.

"God, what else did you compel him to do?" He practically whispered and Damon shuffled uncomfortably in his seat.

"I may have suggested that he give away all of his wealth and explore his latent homosexual tendencies." He almost smirked as he finished the sentence but Stefan drew back in horror and he looked at him.

Stefan got up from the table and walked over to the window as he tried to breathe. Damon sat motionless watching him. That was classic Damon right there. Stefan closed his eyes and fought his anger. He had to remember that Damon had done that months ago before they had both changed so much for each other. He had still been happy young Stef then and Damon had assured him he'd done it to defend his honour. Those were the facts, but somehow they didn't help him feel much better.

"I'm sorry." Damon said.

Stefan shook his head and held himself, watching Damon sulk and feel sorry for himself as he watched his reflection wilt back against his chair.

"So, he came back to confront you?" Stefan voice was tight lipped and terse.

"Yeah."

"Did you compel him again? Ruin his life any more than you already have?"

Damon looked at him in the window reflection. He looked as though Stefan had practically punched him as he frowned in pain.

"No." His voice barely registered.

"Good." Stefan said.

"I did it for you."

Stefan turned around and snorted at him.

"That's how you justify it is it? He was married you know, with kids and grandkids!"

Damon gulped.

"You probably completely ruined his whole life and for what? For my honour? What a bunch of bull crap. You did it because you thought it would be amusing to you, like you always play with people."

"Not anymore." Damon defended weakly, his voice straining as his eyes began to water.

"That's what I really believed." Stefan said and Damon looked down at the table grimacing. "So how did it play out this time? Looked pretty hostile to me."

"I undid it."

"Undid what?"

"The compulsion."

"You did his compulsion because he asked you to?"

"Yeah."

"So why were you fighting?"

"I wanted the crank car back." Damon looked up at him and Stefan frowned.

"So you expected that he would help you, after what you did to him?" Stefan almost laughed mockingly and Damon didn't answer. "Did you try and force him to get it for you?"

"I wanted it back for you."

"Did you threaten him?"

"No."

"Did you hurt him?"

"No!" Damon sighed and threw his cutlery down on the table.

"Then what?!"

"He said he was going to the Mayor." Damon said quietly.

Stefan's blood ran cold. If the Mayor was told that Damon had compelled a human without permission, he could kick them out of the town and withdraw their feeding privileges. They might never even be allowed to set foot in the town again, at the bar, with their friends…Stefan sat down numbly and put his head in his hands.

"You didn't hurt him though, he drove away." Stefan said, trying to figure out just how bad this was and Damon nodded.

"I could have. Plenty of land to bury him out here but I didn't." Damon pointed out and Stefan looked at him.

"Why didn't you? That's your M.O!"

"Because I didn't want to hurt you! I knew you'd hate me for it." Damon snapped back at him and hung his head. "I don't want to be that guy anymore."

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Stefan tried to process where they went from here.

"Do you see it now? There are always repercussions for all of the things you do." Stefan looked at him and Damon scowled.

"And you have to live with all of mine forever, that's what you're saying isn't it?" Damon hissed. "Well maybe you should just walk away then, because I have a huge fucking list of shit that I've done that you wouldn't like. Maybe you should cut and run now!" He got up from the table and stormed away upstairs as Stefan put his head in his hands again and sighed unhappily.

They'd just bought this home and it was their home. A real home. The Mayor may refuse them the right to stay here if the Jerk Wad went to him. What were they going to do? Upstairs Damon slammed furniture around and punched things. You could change and evolve all you wanted to, but you can't escape your past. That was something that through this experience, he'd come to fully appreciate but Damon was just beginning that journey. He didn't want to lose the sweet, good Damon that he'd seen grow to be his lover. He couldn't bear the thought of him reverting back to the hateful, manipulative person he used to be – not now he loved him so much.

He walked upstairs quietly, flinching at the sounds of the furniture being pounded and Damon panting. He went into their bedroom and Damon paused and turned away from him, moving to the window to look out at the meadow. The furniture was ok really, thank god, save from a few broken bookshelves that he could fix no problem. He walked up behind him and slid his arms around his stomach again, making Damon jump in surprise. He kissed the back of his neck softly and heard him let out a small exhale.

"We'll fix this together." He whispered and kissed his shoulder and Damon relaxed under him and held his hands around him tightly.

"I'm sorry." He whispered with tears in his voice. "I've ruined everything as always."

"No, we can fix this."

"We'll be kicked out." Damon groaned and Stefan lay his chin on Damon's shoulder and exhaled.

"Maybe."

Damon exhaled in grief and shook his head slowly.

"If we have to leave then we'll find another place. Together. That's all I want. These are all just things Damon. I loved that crank car and I missed it, but all I need is you." Stefan consoled and Damon gave a small nod and closed his eyes. "And my spitfire." Stefan added with a chuckle and kissed Damon's shoulder.

Damon relaxed again and turned towards him. Stefan stroked his cheeks free of tears and kissed him softly, before bringing their foreheads together.

"Let's clean this up then." Stefan said.

Stefan got on the phone to the Mayor and confessed to the Mayor's assistant about what had happened so many months ago. He played it down as best he could, explaining that Damon had been different back then, he had been new and hadn't understood the rules properly. It was a weak excuse but he had to try it that way. He also said that they took full responsibility for what had happened, Damon had reversed the compulsion and that they loved the town and would never do anything to hurt anyone ever again. They would even compensate the Jerk Wad financially for any losses of that nature.

The assistant took down all the information curtly and said the Mayor would call them back. They were likely to be called to the Mayor's office for their 'sentencing' in the morning and Stefan clutched his chest in fear of losing their home and everything they'd planned for. There was nothing they could do but wait.

In the meantime Damon called Leyla and told her everything. She of course, unknown to Stefan, had been the one to call him out about the whole scenario at the time and now that he'd told her the guy had come back and was threatening to out his compulsion, she put her thinking cap on. She wanted them to stay. She knew how much Damon had changed, although she found it difficult to deal with the full extent of Damon's confession. A human man's life had been turned upside down because Damon had acted like an idiot. Still, she knew he wasn't the same guy and she had to focus on that.

They sat by the fire, worrying and pacing but there was nothing they could do tonight. They had to wait till tomorrow. It made sense of course, that the gig was tomorrow. Shit always hit the fan at moments like these and Stefan couldn't believe that this had happened. He had called the band and talked to them about it too. They were horrified at the whole thing but they were their friends and although they didn't agree with what Damon had done, they didn't doubt for a second that he'd broken the rules to protect Stefan – his most beloved thing on the planet. There wasn't a single person in that bar that would doubt that for a nano-second. Damon worshipped Stefan and they had been the ones to pick Damon up off of the ground when Stefan had gotten his memory back and abandoned them all.

"Come on. There's no point running our new carpet into the ground." Stefan had taken Damon's hand and led them upstairs to bed for the night.

Damon had been quiet since they'd made up and Stefan didn't know what to say to bring him out of his shell. He knew Damon was hating himself right now, hating who he'd been back then. That was one of Damon's biggest problems. He loathed all of his past actions but up until recently, that loathing used to simply drive him into repetition of them, because what was the point of fighting a tidal wave? Now he was trying to deal with it. Stefan had already forgiven him tonight but forgiving himself would be much more difficult.

Stefan helped him strip and get into their bed. He thought making love might help but he could see Damon felt too depressed and upset to do much. He held him, skin to skin as Damon closed his eyes and exhaled. Damon wouldn't sleep. He was too wound up. Stefan stroked through his hair and kissed his cheeks and nose tenderly.

"You shouldn't be trying to make me feel better." He whispered and tears leaked out beneath his eyelashes. "I've lost all of your cars and now your home."

"I don't care about any of that if I don't have you Damon. I had nothing before I loved you like this." Stefan reminded him. "I just had an ex-girlfriend who I was grieving over, a brother I hated because of her and an arch enemy, with my face, who stole a year of my life and gave me brain damage."

Damon grunted and shed a few more tears and Stefan stroked his side, down to his hip and back again.

"Falling in love with you, has been the best thing to happen in my life for a long time and I'm not ever going to be sorry about that."

"You might tomorrow." Damon whispered and pulled him close enough to bury his face in Stefan's neck.

Stefan stroked his back and kissed his shoulder.

"I take all of you. For the rest of our lives. All or nothing." Stefan reassured and Damon kissed his neck sweetly and reached his arm around to squeeze at Stefan's waist.

"That sounds like a vow."

"Maybe it should be." Stefan whispered.

Stefan held him till he relaxed a little more and then he began. If this was to be there last night in their home, then he wanted to make love in it. He started slowly, dragging his fingertips up and down over Damon's skin, making him shiver and curl into him. Very gently he traced down to Damon's hip bones and cupped his flesh, squeezing a little.

"Stefan…" Damon sounded as though he was going to stop him, so Stefan shushed him gently and rolled him onto his back.

"I want to show you how much I love you." He placed his finger over Damon's lips and Damon looked up at him weakly, not feeling deserving.

He kissed his body gently and caressed him and Damon closed his eyes and parted his lips as he breathed. Stefan wanted a slow, gentle movement, rather than their usual – break the bed type of love making. So he nibbled at his nipples until they were red and then he soothed them with his tongue, making Damon squirm in pleasure and become hard. He stroked his manhood with his hand gently and firmly as he continued on his way down. He liked taking Damon on his back but for some reason, tonight he wanted to have him lying face down. Perhaps it was because he almost wanted to be a human blanket form him, to cover him with his body and hold him from behind protectively.

He sucked and licked at his sex for a while until Damon was writhing and wanting and then he slowly turned him on to his back. Damon brought a pillow under him stomach and opened his legs to allow Stefan to slide between them and Stefan prepared his entrance, slowly and expertly. Damon was rubbing his erection against the sheets under him as he tilted his entrance up to Stefan's tongue and panted.

"Uh, uh…" He mumbled into the mattress below him as Stefan continued.

When he was stretched and wet enough inside, Stefan lay on top of him, sliding his erection between his buttocks but not entering him right away as he got Damon excited about being mounted. He kissed the back of Damon's neck and back as he ground his hips, sliding over the entrance with his own juices to help lubricate further and Damon gyrated under him waiting.

"Love you." Stefan whispered as Damon made a groaning sound of need and he guided himself inside of him.

He lay back down on his back and gently urged his movements within him, rocking and circling rather than ramming him. Damon relaxed and turned his head to one side as Stefan slid his hands up to intertwine them with Damon's fingers. In this position they couldn't kiss very easily but Damon was sheltered and protected by Stefan's body and he gave himself over to it as Stefan moved gently teasing his insides. It felt lovely and virginal. They both sighed and tightened their fingers around each others as Stefan picked up his movements. He licked and bit Damon's back as he angled a little deeper until he had to sit back a little. Damon didn't want to release Stefan's fingers so he raised himself a little to follow him. He opened his legs a little wider and Stefan raised his hips and plunged in deep.

Damon gasped and squeezed his insides to make Stefan pant at the tightness. Stefan picked up the pace now that he could get deeper and still hold his hands and Damon pushed back against him and squeezed inside, making him drool and lose his self control. He began to thrust hard and deep now, unable to be gentle anymore as he looked at the expanse of beautiful porcelain skin before him and the mop of dark curls that had grown down to the very nape of Damon's neck in small little curls.

"Oh god." He gasped as he felt his orgasm approach and he quickened to vamp speed, making Damon howl and shout in surprise.

He reached around with one hand, which Damon surrendered only after some pulling and grabbed around Damon's manhood, pumping it hard and fast and Damon lost his mind and climaxed everywhere beneath them. Stefan felt his climax upon him so he kept pumping Damon to get his every last drop as Damon howled and cried and was filled with Stefan's juices. Stefan lay down on his back again as they collapsed. He'd really filled him this time, they were already leaking and he raised himself up and pulled out to see.

It always gave him such an enormous amount of satisfaction to see how much Damon held inside and he watched as his juices rose to the surface of Damon's entrance, ready to spill. He smiled wickedly and pushed his semi hard erection back inside, making Damon sigh again. He wanted it to stay in as long as possible. The very thought turned him on so much that his manhood became fully erect again and he pulled out and pushed back in again, forcing the juices deep inside as Damon trembled. His juices were excellent lubricant for round two, so he used them to all of their advantage as he started again and Damon mewled and squirmed.


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53 TNB

They slept well, thanks to Stefan's insistence on making love all night and awoke ready for whatever happened next. Damon made coffee as though it was a normal day, while Stefan tried to figure out what to do if they couldn't go to the bar tonight. The band had assured him that they'd set up for an acoustic gig and leave his kit ready just in case. They were being so supportive. It was such a strange change to see people coming out in support for Damon. Normally people helped Damon for his benefit but Damon truly had some friends here too.

No messages came from the Mayor and they weren't sure if that was good or bad.

"Love you." Stefan kissed Damon's cheek as he lifted the coffee Damon had made for him.

"Love you too." Damon looked to him sadly, as though this would be their last day together.

"If we don't hear anything by 5, we're going to the bar, same as always. You never know, if this guy doesn't formally complain the punishment might not be as harsh as we're thinking."

"Yeah right." Damon sighed.

There was no speaking to him about this, his self loathing was too much.

"If the jerk wad says nothing, then we just look good because we've confessed to compulsion that wasn't agreed to. There might be a system at play. It's not like people haven't been compelled in this town before." Stefan reasoned and Damon nodded silently as he drunk his coffee.

Stefan sighed and got up and began mowing their lawn. Until he knew that this land wasn't theirs, he was going to damn well act as though it was. They'd always paid gardeners to do the Boarding House land but the land here was smaller, more manageable and he actually enjoyed taking pride in it. Once he'd done that he went towards the barn that Damon had been building. Damon had always been good with his hands. It ran in their blood. Their father was into timbering and had carpentry skills after all and Damon seemed to have inherited them – although Stefan hadn't realised just how much until he looked inside the barn. It wasn't just any barn. He'd built him a workbench for his tools, cupboards, shelving and a ladder that lead up to another level. He frowned, wondering what that level was for and climbed the stairs, pausing as he saw lots of hooks and skylights. He shook his head and climbed back down looking around at their home.

It would grieve him immensely if this didn't go in their favour. He sat down and let himself become emotional at the prospect. This house and land was everything he wanted for the future. If it was taken from them…

He couldn't let Damon see him like this. Damon was sad and depressed enough as it was. He straightened himself out and walked back towards the house. His cell wrung as he approached and he saw that it was Elena.

"Hey." He tried to sound normal.

"Hey, what time you want us down for tonight?"

"Huh?"

"The bar, you're playing tonight aren't you?" She said quietly, in case Damon could hear and he smiled and swallowed hard.

He'd totally forgotten that he'd informed them of his plan. She and Caroline were all coming through to stay and watch him knock Damon's socks off. God, what should he say? Should he just cancel it all? If he told her what had happened or what might happen as a consequence of Damon's compulsion then they'd all revert to their former opinions of him. He didn't want that.

"Uh, yeah, come down at 7." He said, looking at his watch.

He'd managed to get to three thirty already and the phone hadn't wrung once. He dared to have some hope in this. Damon lay down for a nap in the middle of the afternoon and that worried him though. He'd decided to go up there and spoon him for a while, kissing his neck and stroking over his abdomen as Damon tried to sleep and relax. Damon wasn't an afternoon sleeper, he was an afternoon sulker.

Five o'clock came and went and Stefan rejoiced. Damon kept quiet still but seemed a little more relaxed than earlier.

"Let's go. Give them your best stuff tonight." Stefan kissed him and dragged him to the car, full of energy and Damon gave a small smile and climbed in to drive.

They made it down to the pub and had a few beers while no one mentioned the tension surrounding them. Leyla arrived looking stressed and knocked a few shooters back before she sat at their table with them.

"Rough day?" Stefan smiled and she smiled back.

"So, have you heard anything?" She asked and everyone at the table clammed up and looked anywhere but at them.

"No." Stefan said and Damon excused himself and went to the bathroom.

"Maybe that's a good sign." She said and he nodded.

"Hopefully." He said and sighed.

"Are you going up there tonight still?"

"Yeah, that's the plan." He smiled, although he felt horrendously nervous now.

He had been nervous already and with this on top of him as well, he felt like he just wanted to pull out of the gig tonight and hibernate. He wasn't going to though. He could do this. He could do this because he could see Damon's face in his mind already. He could envision Damon's look of wonder and pride as he stood up there and played. He smiled to himself, hopeful of that and Leyla held his hand and squeezed.

"You'll be great!"

"Thanks."

"When are Elena and Caroline arriving?"

"Seven I reckon." He smiled and looked at the clock.

It was almost seven now. Maybe they were held up. He didn't want them to miss Damon's part of this. They hadn't seen him strutt his stuff yet. He looked around anxiously and saw Damon coming back in and heading towards the stage.

The band stood up and went to organise themselves as Damon fiddled with the microphones, checking them all, like always. His presence near the stage sparked the usual attention from the ladies and the wolf whistles began as the lights darkened slightly.

"Good evening drunk people, townies and groupies!" He jested and everyone shouted and whooped at him. "Tonight we have a special set on, with a few of my personal favourites. They're about love…"

"I love you Damon!" A voice shouted and Damon gave a shy smile.

"…regrets and things you wish you could change."

Stefan felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as he listened. Leyla froze too.

"Sometimes we do things and we don't think about how they affect other people and we wish we could change that, but guess what…life's a bitch…"

"…and then you die!" A voice joined in and Damon chuckled briefly.

"If only it was that simple." Damon paused and looked up at the ceiling. "Sometimes, all we can do, is say we're sorry – even if it doesn't change anything. Even if it means nothing."

The crowd fell quiet as Damon struggled. Stefan tensed and looked around to the band who were nervous too at Damon's dampener.

"So, what's the moral of the story?" Damon smirked at the crowd.

Kenny, the bassist came up beside Damon and squeezed his shoulder, taking the mic from him slowly, "Get loaded, dance but remember those rose-tinted glasses folks! You wouldn't want to wake up next to me in the morning." Kenny laughed and winked at a few of the girls and the crowd whooped again and started getting back into the mood as the band began to play their intro with enough repeat to get Kenny back into position.

Damon walked off the side of the stage and slipped through a curtain as Stefan watched him frowning.

"What the hell was that?" Leyla whispered.

"A spitfire falling." He said and climbed out of their booth to follow him.

Damon walked behind the back of the bar, out towards the rear hallway and leaned against the wall to breathe. He'd almost screwed their intro for them. Couldn't he do anything right lately? He snorted at himself and walked down the hallway towards the side exit. He might just stand out at the car park for a while and catch a breather. He could still hear the band from here anyways. Stefan was bound to come looking for him, but he figured he probably had a few minutes before that happened.

He got outside and leaned against the wall as he looked up at the sky moping. He knew in his guts they were out of here. He just knew it. Stefan could be as positive and hopeful as he wanted but he knew how things went down. He took a deep breath and blew the air out, watching it curl in smoke in the night air. He wondered where Elena and the gang where. Thank god they'd missed his intro. That would have been even more embarrassing.

A car pulled in and he ignored it, noticing its silver colour. It wasn't Elena or Caroline's car, so he paid it no more heed as it parked and the occupant spilled out, slamming the door. He looked up at the stars coming out and gazed at their beauty entranced. A blonde woman in her forties brushed past him, looking vexed and he stepped aside and looked up again. The bar was full tonight, cougars and all. After a few minutes he heard footsteps coming down the hall and he sighed and closed his eyes.

Stefan. He'd have something insightful or positive to say and Damon would have to pretend that he was probably right and agree with him so that Stefan would relax and enjoy his night. He sighed and turned towards the door when he felt something strike him. He opened his eyes in surprise to see a wooden table leg protruding from his rib cage. He gasped and fell to his knees as he looked at his attacker. The blonde woman who'd just stormed by.

"Did I get your heart you bastard? Did I? No?" She shrieked and stabbed him again with a long thin knife, into his heart.

He gagged and held his chest, almost smirking as he realised it was metal, when he felt the sensation of fire rip through him and he crumpled gasping in pain and pulled the stake out.

"This is for my husband!" She kicked his face and climbed on top of him as he fell onto his back groaning in agony.

It must have been vervain on the blade and it was sizzling through the flesh of his heart as he tried to breathe.

"This is for my family!" She shouted and she grabbed the wooden stake again and tried to ram it into his heart this time when she screamed and he coughed as he was thrown backwards along the ground.

"Get off of me!" The woman screamed and Damon tilted his head, still unable to move from pain and saw her stab Stefan with the wood too.

"Stefan!" He shouted out in fear and chaos broke out.

Stefan fell back gasping too and before he knew it Caroline and Elena were on the woman, pulling her off and growling fangs bared at her. He got to his feet and staggered over to Stefan to check on him and Stefan reached for him and touched his chest and face for injuries.

"Are you ok?" Stefan panted and he grimaced, pretending the pain wasn't as bad as it was as they held each other.

Leyla came running out and cried when she saw the carnage.

"What's happening?!"

Elena had a hold of the crazy woman who was struggling and shouting for police or human help.

"Help! Help me! The vampires attacked me!" The woman screamed and Elena rolled her eyes as Caroline went to help Stefan and Damon up.

She could see that Damon was not as well as he pretended to be and she raised her eyebrows at him as he wilted a little in pain. Stefan was healing nicely, thanks to human blood donations but vervain was trickier. Damon needed to feed too.

"What the hell is going on out here?" One of the bar staff came out fuming at the racket and Leyla went to him and whispered in his ear.

He marched back inside immediately and Caroline frowned in intrigue.

"Let's get you two inside huh?" Caroline said and she gave Damon a shoulder to lean on discretely.

They rested in the hallway, not wanting to disrupt the band's set and ruin the night and a squad car arrived. Leyla went up to Elena.

"Listen, you're an outside, I'm human. I'll take her from here." She advised and Elena nodded and handed the seething woman over to her as Leyla walked her outside.

Just as they were exiting to the squad car the mad woman pulled a knife from the back of her jeans and held it across Leyla's throat and everyone froze.

"It was him, he attacked me! He was going to drink my blood. You're all in on it! All of you are vampires!"

"Calm down lady ok? Humans didn't do anything to you ok? That kid didn't do shit to you so put the knife down." The police officer behind her warned as he pulled his firearm.

"Aren't you going to arrest him? This is all his fault!" She growled and looked at Damon and suddenly Stefan clicked.

"Mrs Trevino?" He asked shakily and she looked at him. "I'm sorry about what happened."

"You will be sorry!" She shouted and pressed the knife nearer to Leyla's throat, making the police officer more nervous.

"Ma'am, I'm going to ask you one more time to put the knife down slowly and back away."

Damon looked to the woman as he paled and felt nauseated. The vervain was spreading through his arteries thanks to the slow pumping of his heart and he felt like he needed to keel over. Caroline felt his weight getting heavier and looked to Elena worriedly.

"Enough!" Damon said, pushing away from Caroline. "You want your revenge then do it. Give it your best shot! Just let her go and I'll come with you."

Everyone froze as Stefan looked to Damon in fear and uncertainty.

"Let the girl go. She's just a kid. She didn't hurt you, that was all me." He stood straight and tried to put on his old cocky voice.

He stepped towards them as steadily as he could as Leyla's eyes widened.

"And you know what? I enjoyed it." He grinned. "I knew there was something a bit…wooo…about your husband." Damon sounded drunk and Stefan took a step forward when the woman eyed him and pulled the knife tighter to Leyla's throat, nicking her skin enough for a single bead of blood to be drawn.

Damon let his vampire face come forward and the woman growled at him.

"I'd love to fucking do it again." He leered and the woman growled and threw Leyla to the side, smacking her off of the wall and lunging for Damon as she stabbed him repeatedly until they both crumpled and the police officer managed to grab her from him and drag her screaming to the car to be cuffed.

Stefan rushed to Damon as Elena and Caroline helped Leyla to her feet and checked her neck. Thankfully she seemed fine and they breathed in relief.

"What the hell is going on here?" Caroline demanded, looking to Stefan but Stefan was silent and worried as he tried to rouse Damon.

"Damon?" He whispered and turned him onto his back, checking for wounds. His wounds were fizzing and he gulped as he cupped his face. "Oh my god!"

"What is it?" Elena rushed over.

"Vervain. There's vervain inside of his wounds!" Stefan panted and Damon passed out.

"He needs blood." Leyla said and wobbled a little as she tried to go to them.

"Ok. I think we might need another donor right now. One without a concussion?" Caroline said pointedly as she caught Leyla's side.

Inside the crowd were cheering as the band finished their set and Leyla looked to Stefan and sighed in disappointment for him. He was more interested in getting Damon healed than playing his drums though, so he lifted Damon into his arms and carried him out to their car. As Elena followed and helped him.

"Give me some blood so I can heal him." Leyla turned to Caroline and Caroline sighed. "It's ok. I feed them all the time." She insisted and Caroline bit into her wrist and gave it to her.

Leyla sucked as much as she needed to feel better and Caroline led her out to her car and helped her inside.

"So much for a regular Friday. I thought this town was supposed to be normal and chaos free." Caroline joked as Leyla recovered and they followed Stefan's car.

"Seems trouble follows you guys around."

"Not me, definitely those three, but not me." Caroline gave a sweet smile.

"Don't you worry you're going to get hurt and caught up in the middle of it someday?" Leyla asked her honestly as she sent a quick text to Kenny to tell them what had happened.

"I guess…that's just friendship." Caroline said and sighed. "We step in when we can help and when we can't…" she trailed off and Leyla looked to her.

"When we can't?"

"We drive or bring popcorn." Caroline smiled and they both giggled.

"We carry on!" Leyla agreed and they both sighed and looked out to the road before them.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54 TNB

Damon groaned and they fretted all the way back home, with Elena holding Damon on her lap.

"Almost there, almost there." She soothed him, stroking his forehead. "What's happening Stefan, who was that woman?"

"It's a long story." Stefan croaked and looked behind to check Damon.

"What did he do?"

"Compulsion. It was ages ago." He admitted and she grimaced and stroked Damon's forehead.

"She was trying to kill both of you."

"Elena, please not now ok?" Stefan sighed and sped up as they approached their front door.

Elena lifted Damon into her arms as Stefan came around and opened the door, taking him from her and carrying him into the house. As they approached the door they all smelled it – burning. Damon opened his eyes as Stefan opened the front door and it swung open unlocked. They darted inside to see the beginnings of a fire starting in the lounge and Elena shouted, putting her hands to her mouth as Stefan panicked and held Damon to him.

"Get him out of here!" Elena cried and ran towards the kitchen, passed the flames to get their fire extinguisher. Stefan obeyed without a second thought as Leyla and Caroline pulled up behind their car and ran in to help.

"Fire!" He called and Caroline blurred in to help put it out as he blurred Damon to the barn and to safety.

It wasn't like him to leave the girls to fix a mess but Damon was his priority right now as he wheezed and his skin bubbled visibly under his clothes.

"Stefan…go back!" Damon gasped in pain. "Help Elena!"

"No, not till your healed." Stefan hushed him and Leyla came running in behind him. "Leyla, thank god!"

"I'm here. Here." She extended her wrist to Damon and he took it gratefully.

He bit down and began to drink, when he choked and spewed it over himself in agony.

"What?!" Stefan gasped and held him, looking at her wrist.

"You've vervain in you?" He squinted at her and she shook her head.

"No! I never! You know that! I feed you!" She defended but the evidence was there as Damon coughed and groaned.

Stefan lay him down on the ground as he tried to think.

"Someone made sure you had it in you so you couldn't heal us." Stefan realised and they looked at each other in fear. "Who did you see today?"

"No one, I mean I went to see the Mayor for you."

"You what?" He frowned in surprise.

"I wanted to vouch for you." She defended and got down on her knees and tried to inspect Damon's stab wounds.

They looked so painful and Damon gave a sob and closed his eyes.

"Damon I'm so sorry." She began to sob. "What do we do?"

"We need blood, untainted. It's the only way to heal his wounds. He's still bleeding." Stefan took his jacket off and rolled it under his head as he tore Damon's shirt open to inspect the damage.

They both winced appalled and in sympathy when they saw his stab wounds oozing.

"Oh god!" Leyla moved away and vomited as Stefan tried to console Damon and keep him calm.

Leyla pulled her cell out and dialled Kenny.

"Kenny? It's Leyla – we need help. Damon's been stabbed with vervain and he isn't healing. We need some donors now!" She cried and Stefan looked over to her in gratitude.

"Ok!" She said and then dialled for the fire brigade. "Stefan - Elena and Caroline…Yes I need to report a fire, yes it's just before the bridge on Elmwood. Please hurry!"

Stefan looked at her again.

"Go help them. Don't let all of his work burn. I'll stay with him. Go!" She ordered and he reluctantly got up and obeyed, kissing Damon's forehead.

"You're going to be ok Damon. Help is on the way." She cooed at him and tried to wipe the remnants of her blood from his face. "She'll pay for this Damon, I promise."

"No." He groaned and took her hand and she frowned at him.

"What?"

"Let her go."

"Damon she tried to kill you both, she had me at knifepoint and she's burning..." She trailed off in fear of making him distressed and Damon closed his eyes. "The bar has cameras. Jake got the footage and gave it to the police. They'll see what happened."

"Doesn't make a difference." He groaned and curled into himself in pain and she stroked through his hair as she heard the fire engines arrive.

Thank god! She smiled in relief and squeezed his hand.

Stefan managed to get them all out as the fire services arrived. It wasn't just a small fire anymore, it was blazing. Clearly an accelerant had been used. Elena and Caroline both held him, offering words of sympathy as he watched the building fill with flames. All of their things – all of Damon's building and hard work. He swallowed a lump in his throat and squeezed his eyes closed.

The fireman took charge and went in to cool it all down. Maybe if they were lucky, the building could be saved but their contents were gone, destroyed. Strangely a thought passed through his mind as he watched the flames burn hot and bright. At least Damon's precious possessions were gone and not burning. He'd sold them to people who'd treasure them no doubt, as opposed to seeing them all burned before his eyes. That was a better fate for them than this.

Kenny and some of their friends from the bar turned up in their cars and looked on horrified at the scene.

"Stefan!" Kenny shouted and ran over to them. "We have some donors."

"Thank you!" Stefan grabbed him in a quick hug and gestured for them all to follow as they ran for the barn.

The humans all stopped and stared when they saw how badly Damon was suffering and Leyla looked up, tearfully.

"Check you don't have any vervain in your system. Someone dosed me today." She advised to the two men who stepped forward with their red bands on.

Stefan turned to them both and they offered their wrists. He bit down and sucked from them both.

"You're fine. Thank you." He said gratefully as he motioned them over to Damon.

Damon was shaking and groaning loudly and it took both humans and Stefan to get him to uncurl his limbs and look at them.

"Damon, drink. Drink."

"No!" Damon gasped in fear of more vervain.

"I checked, they're fine. Drink."

"Ahh." Damon gasped in pain.

"Drink Angel." Stefan whispered in his ear and he looked at him in desperately as Stefan nodded and brought the first human down to him.

Damon opened his mouth and bit into the man's wrist and sucked desperately. The man sat down on his knees and was pulled into him a little as Damon swallowed and sighed. The other human supported him as the pleasure of feeding began and both Damon and the donor began to sigh and melt.

"Holy shit, what the fuck happened tonight?" Kenny asked Stefan, squeezing his shoulder.

"The wife of the Jerk Wad. She came looking for him. Tried to take us out." Stefan explained and they all shuffled in discomfort.

He could see it in their eyes. If it had been them Damon had compelled, they might feel the same need for revenge and Stefan gave a sad nod.

"Ok, enough! Ok, maybe she was justified in getting some pay back but that doesn't entitle her to try and kill both of you!" Leyla shouted.

"And, she held a human at knife point too so clearly she's bat shit crazy." Caroline offered and Kenny looked to her and chuckled in mirth. "Hello…she had a cop pointing a gun at her and she still tried to attack people. Clearly she's at fault too."

"Your house man." Jake from the bar rubbed Stefan's back in sympathy and Stefan gulped again and looked back to it.

The fire fighters had managed to get it under control but the damage inside would take a lot of fixing. Their little bubble of home had been burned out and violated.

"Don't let him see it yet." Stefan whispered to Elena and she nodded and stood to block Damon's view as the other human leaned in and let Damon feed from his neck. "He'll be crushed."

Everyone held themselves as they waited.

Damon released the second human and lay back panting as his wounds began to heal. With the vervain still inside of him, he'd be weak for days but now his wounds would heal. Stefan moved over and gathered him into his arms, to check him. Damon's chest was healing slowly but it was healing.

"You tore off my clothes." Damon grunted and Stefan smiled.

"Just your shirt."

"I liked that shirt." Damon said tiredly.

Stefan kissed his mouth and Damon sighed and kissed back as people began to filter away to give them some privacy. By the time Stefan pulled away from Damon's mouth, they were alone. Damon tried to keep his eyes open but he was struggling as the vervain weakened him.

"Marry me Damon." Stefan whispered and Damon opened his eyes in surprise.

"Huh?"

"Marry me. Tomorrow, tonight, right now. I don't want to live another minute separate from you."

"What are you talking about?" Damon reached up and stroked Stefan's face as he closed his eyes again.

"I, Stefan Salvatore, take you Damon Salvatore to be my life partner." Stefan began and Damon looked up at him. "I vow to take care of you and cherish you. I take all of you, including everything that you were before we fell in love, because it made you who you are right now." Stefan stroked his face as he spoke, his heart racing as Damon searched his eyes.

"I vow to always support you and defend you until the end of our lives." Stefan whispered and linked their fingers together as Damon gazed up at him, speechless.

"You shouldn't." Damon whispered and squeezed their interlinked fingers together.

"Marry me Angel." Stefan smiled as his eyes filled with tears. "Take all of me."

"Stefan, I just ruined your life again. Run. Please." Damon squeezed his eyes closed in pain and exhaled shakily.

"Where to?"

"Away from me. Please, run." Damon let some tears slide down his face.

"Never."

"I don't have the strength not to want you. I'm always going to want you, even when I'm bad for you." Damon sighed and Stefan cradled his head higher in his arms so that they could kiss softly.

Stefan pulled away, shedding a few tears too as he stroked Damon's face.

"Will you marry me right here?"

"No." Damon said and looked at him sincerely.

"No?" Stefan felt his stomach clench and he winced in pain.

"I can't." Damon said sadly.

"You said, the next time I asked you, you'd say yes. Remember? Before I joined my brain back together, before you forced me to save myself – you promised me that you'd say yes." Stefan rambled and held him tighter.

"I'd have said anything to get you to do it."

Stefan chewed his lip and swallowed as his heart squeezed.

"I mean it. I know what I'm asking for. I know now." Stefan croaked and Damon searched his face.

"What about next time someone tries to kill me for shit I've done. I don't want that on you."

"I was a ripper remember? I'm no angel."

"Neither am I." Damon said softly and closed his eyes.

"I vow to take care of you and cherish you. I take all of you, including everything that you were before we fell in love because it made you who you are right now. I vow to always support you and defend you until the end of our lives and I vow to help you continue to be the kind of man you want to be." Stefan repeated and Damon groaned and exhaled.

Stefan waited as Damon fell silent. His heart beat wildly as he waited for Damon's declarations.

"Please…" He sobbed and hung his head and Damon opened his eyes again.

"Hey. You know you're everything." Damon soothed and stroked his face.

"Then say it." Stefan closed his eyes.

Damon ran his fingers through his hair as he thought on his vows.

"I, Damon Salvatore take you Stefan Salvatore to be my life partner."

Stefan exhaled and opened his eyes as Damon continued to stroke through his hair.

"I vow to never lie or do anything to hurt you to the best of my ability, I vow to protect you and love you and try to be a better man for you." Damon said gently and Stefan kissed him passionately.

When they pulled up for air, Damon had a small smile on his face.

"We don't have any rings or witnesses or priests Stefan." He pointed out.

"It doesn't matter. I just needed to hear it." Stefan smiled and stood up, lifting him in his arms as he did so and pressing their mouths together.

"Are you going to carry me over the threshold now?" Damon joked weakly as tiredness began to consume him and Stefan flicked his eyes out to their charred home.

The fire engines had now left and the only people milling around were Elena and Caroline.

"Not tonight." Stefan said. "Sleep." He soothed and Damon closed his eyes peacefully and fell asleep.

Stefan was so glad that he wasn't conscious enough to see this. He walked with him out towards the house and up to the girls. They both looked down and smiled to see Damon healed and sleeping.

"They said that the structure hasn't been too badly affected. It's been contained to the interior." Caroline said and he nodded.

"Do you have any furniture left at the Boarding House?" Elena asked and he shook his head.

"Ok, so you need a motel for the night until we can figure this out." Caroline pulled her cell phone out and dialled her mom.

Elena walked with Stefan to his car and lay Damon in the back, covering him with his jacket as Damon remained asleep.

"You ok?" She rubbed his arms and he nodded.

"We're both ok and that's all that matters." He smiled and closed the door gently.

"I take it that there's a little more to this than unauthorized compulsion." She said and he nodded.

"We're dealing with it, whatever it means." He assured and she nodded. "Thanks for being here tonight. It could have played out differently if you hadn't been there."

"I'm just glad that my car is crappy for once. We got a flat tyre and had to stop to change it. If we'd arrived on time we would have been inside and watching the band like everyone else." She said. "Guess it was fate."

"I was never really sure whether I believed in fate." He pondered as Caroline made reservations on her cell and looked to him nodding.

"Some things have to be seen to be believed." Elena chuckled and raised her eyebrows, indicating their relationship and he smiled too.

"I guess you're right."

"Ok, king size bed, private en-suite with a tub, twenty minutes down the road and my mom has it covered just now until you can square up."

"Thanks." He smiled.

"The Sherriff from this town has been in contact with her already so they know what happened at the bar and here. She said they'd be in contact tomorrow." Caroline said and he nodded quietly.

"Well, I'm going to get him to bed."

"Call us in the morning if there's anything we can do?" Elena smiled and kissed his cheek and he climbed into his car and drove away.

They'd deal with everything tomorrow.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55 TNB

Damon slept soundly as he drove them to the Motel, but had to wake him gently to get them into the room. Carrying a huge man in his arms, might look a little shocking, especially considering that he had no shirt on and clearly had blood on him. Damon leaned on him as they went up to their rooms. Stefan held his breath hoping that Damon wouldn't ask why they were at a motel and not at home in his huge bed. God, the bed. Damon's huge bed that he adored. It was charred now.

He got him washed down, sitting him up on the toilet as he cleaned his face and chest free of blood, while Damon tried to stay awake and then got him stripped and into bed. As Damon slept, tucked in, Stefan had a brandy from the small room fridge and sat by the window thinking. They'd lost all of their furniture. Still, at least they still had the Boarding House and enough family money to restore the property. It just felt so much more personal this time. They regularly paid tradesmen to come in and maintain the Boarding House and its grounds but they had wanted to do everything themselves for their new home together. Damon had worked so hard and now it was all rubble.

Knowing Damon, he'd pretend not to be that upset because he'd know how much worse Stefan would feel seeing that. Damon grunted in his sleep as though he was having a nightmare – which he probably was. Stefan removed his own clothes and climbed in next to him naked, to spoon him. Sex was a great way to make Damon cheery and if he was still going to feel poorly tomorrow from the vervain, then even better a reason to keep him occupied with Stefan's body so he'd rest and not try and sort everything out.

As he draped his arms around Damon's stomach, Damon jerked and moved, turning in towards him instead. Stefan lifted his arm unsure if Damon was going to wake. Damon's eyes opened a fraction and he saw the bluest blue peaking at him behind those black eyelashes. He stroked through the hair at his ears and whispered comforting words of reassurance to him. Damon knew this wasn't his bed. Damon frowned and opened his mouth to speak and Stefan pulled him into him until he could kiss his lips gently.

"Sleep." He whispered and Damon immediately obeyed again.

He could get used to this. If only Damon did what he was told more regularly. He smiled to himself as he stroked Damon's skin and held him, kissing him gently all over his face every time he seemed to grunt or tense up.

They'd made vows. Real ones. He'd said the words and so had Damon. Real words and promises.

"You're my husband now." Stefan whispered and studied his face. "My husband."

He closed his eyes and fell asleep happy and wrapped in Damon's arms.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He awoke to a pair of blue spheres looking at him as he yawned and opened his eyes. Damon looked weak but not in pain anymore.

"Hey."

"Hey. Where are we?" Damon asked.

"In a motel." Stefan slid his hand up Damon's side to his shoulder and brought himself forward to bring their mouths together.

Damon kissed back softly and he lay back down to look at his face.

"There was a fire." Damon mumbled and searched his face and Stefan nodded. "How bad is it?"

"We can fix it."

"How bad is it Stefan?" Damon pressed and Stefan sighed and lowered his eyes.

Damon's eyes filled with tears and he tensed as he closed his eyes.

"It's repairable and we are alive." Stefan caught his face in his hands as Damon made to turn his back to him.

Damon opened his eyes sadly and Stefan stroked through his hair, almost as though he was petting him.

"I turn everything to shit." He whispered and Stefan exhaled and brought him closer into his body, pressing their skin together and kissing in at Damon's neck and shoulder.

Damon lay unresisting in his arms and Stefan slid his hand down to Damon's firm behind and squeezed. Damon lay his hand at Stefan's waist and Stefan inhaled at his neck, where his hair feathered down onto his skin.

"Not everything." Stefan whispered in his ear and began to harden against him.

Damon grunted and held Stefan's hips to him as he gave in and bit into Stefan's neck to feed. Stefan shivered and flexed his hips in desire as he drank. Damon must be hungry, his body was still healing. He'd have to get him a donor today or blood bags. In the meantime, this would have to do. Stefan didn't mind at all as he sighed and tightened his hold on his back. Damon licked over the wound as it healed and kissed his shoulder.

"I don't deserve you." He whispered into Stefan's hair.

"Well you're stuck with me now. Till death do us part." Stefan sighed and smiled, laying his face into Damon's chest and kissing there as Damon rolled him away so they could look at each other.

"What?" Damon frowned a little and Stefan's heart stopped.

Had Damon forgotten or changed his mind?

"Last night…in the barn…" Stefan stuttered, blushing and swallowing hard, "We…"

"That was just talking Stef." Damon cupped his face and Stefan looked at him a little heartbroken. "When we do get married, you'll know about it."

Stefan shook his head a little, deflated and hurting. He'd thought their moment had been beautiful, exactly what he'd wanted. Damon searched his face as he withdrew from him and turned onto his back.

"Stefan you know I love you. I want to give you something like this properly." Damon said gently and Stefan exhaled.

"It was perfect."

"Aside from me crying in your arms like a girl, while our home burned down to the ground." Damon sighed and Stefan looked at him.

"You vowed to me."

"And I will again."

"Sometimes you just don't…" Stefan bit back tears and turned on his side facing the window. "Sometimes you break me, still." He mumbled and Damon spooned him, cooing at him.

"Stefan this whole relationship you've rushed me. Can you please just trust me on this one?"

Stefan curled into himself and tensed. Damon had spoiled a moment he thought had meant something. Clearly it hadn't.

"Stefan, look at me." Damon tried to pull him around to face him, but Stefan tensed further. "Look at me."

Stefan turned to look at him, pain evident on his face.

"It's clear that you're always going to rush me." Damon said gently and stroked his cheek free of tears. "I want to marry you. I've been ready for a long time and I get that last night you thought I might slip from you."

Stefan exhaled and closed his eyes.

"But that's not a reason you want to get married."

"Why not? Scarlett O'Hara married during blood and fire and the end of everything she cherished." Stefan pointed out and Damon huffed in surprise.

"Is that what that was about?" Damon asked. "I want it to be because we are ready for that and the craziness that it means."

"Craziness?"

"We are brothers Stefan. Legally and on paperwork for this lifetime. We have other lifetimes where we can start differently."

"I don't want to be your brother anymore. I want everything."

"Stefan…" Damon sighed.

"Why shouldn't I want everything? We've suffered for so long. Both of us in different ways. I don't want to waste another minute waiting to be happy."

Damon hooked his arm around Stefan's waist and searched his face.

"You sound like the other you so much more lately. Should I be worried your brain is separating again?" He asked sincerely and Stefan smiled.

"No. I just see things clearly now because of him."

"How so?"

"Before, all that I felt was guilt and longing. I thought Elena could make everything better but it's not her job to make me whole – it's mine. Typical that the other me knew that so quickly. Then again he thought you were an Angel."

"He did." Damon smiled.

"He couldn't see farther than you and what he wanted right now though and I want that. I want to think like that." Stefan placed a hand on Damon's chest. "We've taken immortality for granted. We can still be killed and last night we could have been."

"We weren't."

"But we could have been. So how is that different from living like a human? Why isn't every day just as precious as they feel it? We've forgotten the value of a day." Stefan pointed out and Damon gave a brief nod of understanding. "So, I'm asking again…" Stefan sat up and Damon shook his head.

"No Stefan."

"Damon will you marry…"

"No! Stop!" Damon sat up vexed and raised his voice and Stefan paused and looked at him in shock.

"You don't…"

"For god sake Stef!" Damon grunted and ran his hands through his hair and looked away from him. "I had this planned. I had everything planned! You always rush me!"

Stefan fell silent as Damon breathed and wilted, lying back down and grunting at how weak he still felt.

"I have rings. I have paperwork. I have plans."

"You do?" Stefan breathed in surprise and Damon closed his eyes.

"I wanted it to be right."

"But you, do want to marry me? You do…want me?" Stefan cupped his face and Damon opened his eyes tiredly.

"More than a million Camaro's." He said and Stefan smiled and kissed him softly, feeling him grow sleepier.

"I love you."

"Love you too fiancé." Damon smiled and sighed as he exhaled deeply and fell asleep.

Stefan kissed his neck and throat a little longer as he slept, breathing in the sight and smell of him as much as he could before he looked at the clock. It was 8. He should get up and go down to see the Mayor. They needed to know where they stood, once and for all. He didn't want to leave him at all, but he could see how badly Damon needed to rest and heal.

He got up, checking the motel room service manual and noticed that blood donations were on the menu. He huffed in surprise. This town made no secret of their stance on things. Obviously, it wouldn't be apparent to anyone travelling through what the small red icon on this menu meant, but it was the symbol for human blood donation that everyone had on their wrist bands. He dialled the number for room service and ordered some. It came on the form of a blood bag and he paid the clerk a big tip as a reward and a thank you. He was so relieved.

He dressed and then sat down, opening the blood bag and rousing Damon with kisses.

"Hey fiancé? Your breakfast is served." He stroked his cheek and Damon opened his eyes and looked at the blood bag in his hand.

Stefan coaxed him to sit against him as he sat behind Damon's body and held him upright, stroking their feet together as Damon drank from the bag and rested his weight into Stefan's chest.

"Everything's going to be ok." Stefan whispered as he kissed Damon's head and nuzzled the back of his head with his nose.

Damon drank until he was full and struggling to stay upright, so Stefan manoeuvred him back down onto his back again and kissed him as he withdrew from the bed.

"I should come with you. This is about me." Damon frowned as Stefan put his shoes on.

"No, it's about what we are and what we are capable of. If these people are going to welcome it, they should understand exactly what that means." Stefan said. "Sleep, because when I get back we have some plans to make."

Damon gave a grunt and nodded sleepily, before falling asleep again and Stefan tucked him in.

He headed down to the Mayor's office, surprised to see so many cars there as he parked and got out. You would have thought that a Saturday morning would have been quiet here. He walked into the huge office space and was told that an appointment had been made for him. He blinked in surprise.

"It has?"

"Yes. We left a message on your answering machine yesterday."

Stefan swallowed down his pain at the thought that their home no longer existed.

"I didn't get the message."

"You appointment is in thirty minutes anyway, so please take a seat Mr Damon Salvatore." The receptionist smiled at him and he blinked again.

They thought that he was Damon? Maybe this would be a good thing. If they thought he was the culprit and he demonstrated his remorse and how much he was willing to repent to stay here, maybe they would be allowed to. He took a seat and waited, watching the clock tick so slowly it could have been going backwards.

Finally his name – Damon's name was called, and he was guided to an office. He stood before the door, looking at the Mayor's name in gold letters on the glass and he took a deep breath as he knocked on the door and stepped inside. He paused in surprise when he saw a room full of people turn and stare at him.

"Kenny? Jake?" He looked around at their faces – all of their friends. "Leyla." He exhaled, full of emotion and she stood up and smiled at him.

"You seem to have a lot of friends here." The Mayor huffed and drew Stefan's attention to him. "You are the mechanic? Stefan?"

"Yes sir." Stefan replied and took the seat that he was motioned towards as he looked around at his friends again.

"Where is Damon?" The Mayor asked sternly.

"He's recovering."

"Recovering? I thought he was a vampire."

"We are sir, but he was stabbed with vervain on the blade and he'll suffer for a few days until he will heal like normal." Stefan said as Leyla held his hand under the table.

"Well…that's some kind of punishment I suppose." The Mayor sighed and removed his glasses, cleaning them with a cloth.

"Sir, what happened…" Stefan began as the Mayor held out a hand to silence him.

It had been a long time since he'd let someone speak to him like this but he wanted so badly to stay here. To belong here.

"I know all of the facts Mr Salvatore, including last night's activities, which my niece has gone into in scrupulous detail as usual." The Mayor scowled slightly at Leyla and Stefan looked to her in surprise.

He hadn't known the Mayor was her uncle!

"What a mess!" The Mayor banged his hand on the table and Stefan paled. "I have a woman in the holding cells who is clearly mentally unstable and your partner is partially responsible for that."

"He accepts full responsibility for it sir."

"Not only that, I have arson in my town, breach of the peace, attempted murder and my niece being held at knifepoint!" He shouted. "What am I to make of all of this?"

No one answered.

"This is why we have rules here. As a vampire you have a responsibility to those around you who are weaker! This is not acceptable and entirely Damon's fault."

"Uncle…"

"Silence Leyla!" He commanded and she fell silent again.

"I can't possibly allow you to stay here. It would send out the wrong message."

"Please sir, Damon's changed. He undid the damage he could and we will do anything we can do to undo the rest." Stefan leaned forward.

"She attacked three people in the middle of a bar!" Kenny shouted out in anger.

"She burned a house down!" Jake followed.

A chorus of voices began to shout out their arguments and the Mayor couldn't get them to calm or be quiet at all. It descended into chaos and Stefan looked around in awe and amazement.

"His vampire friend healed me!" Leyla slammed her hands down on the table. "She healed me after that crazy bitch cut my throat. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Damon got Leyla out of the way so he could take the knife instead. I saw it happen." Another voice chimed in.

"Enough!" The Mayor said angrily.

Leyla stood up.

"I'd be dead if it weren't for Damon. You've seen the video footage – you know that."

"There was a perfectly capable police officer there Leyla." The Mayor grunted.

"Damon has brought more business to this town in the past few months than any official has in a year." A man Stefan didn't recognise, stood up. "He's increased the traffic through my bar."

"Damon does bring in the girls." Jake chuckled.

"My business has doubled, all because he has a pretty face and a good way with a crowd. He's never had to bribe anyone or compel them inside. What the hell have you fat cats done to help my business?"

The Mayor was gobsmacked.

"He bought a property that was going to go to another county in terms of jurisdiction and ensured that it stayed part of your tax account. If he hadn't bought that property as someone already resident here, it would have fallen to developers who wouldn't have needed your say so in what they did with it. He pays his taxes like the rest of us."

"He always feeds on me and he never hurts me." Leyla said. "He follows the rules now and he knows he's fucked up."

Everyone seemed to calm down and the Mayor put his head in his hands as he tried to think.

"He may have compelled stupidly but he never killed anyone. She tried to kill both he and Stefan and me." Leyla said gently.

A few moments passed in silence before the Mayor looked up at Stefan again.

"Why haven't you left? Why come here for my decision?"

"Because we want to stay. Please." Stefan said sincerely.

"Why? So you can feed on the people here?"

"Because this is my home and I…" Stefan swallowed and looked around at them all. "I'm happy here."

"I got your message yesterday. I thought you would compel people to come in here and do exactly what has happened here this morning." The Mayor admitted and they all looked at each other in surprise. "Make no mistake, you are welcome here as a vampire but we watch you. We know who your friends are, where you live…"

"As you should." Stefan agreed quietly in admittance of how dangerous their nature was.

"I ensured that Leyla had vervain in her system for that purpose yesterday, as well as the rest of you here." He looked around the table.

"You did what?" Leyla gasped in shock and anger. "I am a donor!"

"And I wanted to make sure you stayed that way, alive!" He defended.

"I am alive and not because of you, because of my friends." She huffed and he nodded slowly. "Damon was stabbed so badly that he suffered uncle George. He suffered horribly and now their home is gone and they worked so hard on it. It's not a fair punishment to send them away."

"There was human error here too, but clearly, we need to revisit our compulsion laws." The Mayor sighed and rubbed his eyes.

He sat back in his chair, thinking as Stefan's heart raced.

"From now on, the only compulsion allowed shall be for those dying or in pain. If I ever find out that either of you or any friends of yours who travel through here, have compelled anyone Stefan – I will kick you out. I swear to you. You're not the only people who can defend yourselves." There was definite threat to his tone and it made Stefan's inner vampire bristle angrily.

Stefan nodded.

"If I hear anything negative of Damon Salvatore again, you will force my hand. Do you accept full responsibility for him?"

"Yes."

"What is he to you? A brother? A partner?" The Mayor enquired and Stefan flicked his eyes around the table before he cleared his throat.

"He's my fiancé." He responded and everyone looked to him in surprise.

The Mayor nodded and huffed.

"Go. Get out of my sight. Any damages incurred by this incident will be billed to you."

"She burnt his house down!" Leyla shouted and Stefan held his hand back to quieten her.

"We are willing to do whatever you need." Stefan said and the Mayor nodded at him.

Everyone stood up and waited for him as Stefan gave the Mayor a final nod of understanding and rose from his seat. They all left together in silence until they got outside and turned to him.

"What were you all doing here?" He asked, full of love for them and they all smiled.

"You two belong here. This place wouldn't be the same without you." Kenny patted his back and he reached out and hugged him.

"Thank you. Thank you so much!" He said as his eyes filled with tears.

"Besides, we need Damon to bring the girls in." Jake joked and Stefan laughed.

"I won't let this go Stefan. She won't get away with this. If anything I can have her charged for holding me at knifepoint."

"She's been damaged because of what happened to her." Stefan defended weakly.

"It doesn't matter. Just because you're wronged, doesn't give you the right to try and hurt people Stefan. That's the human law." She pointed out and he nodded.

"I don't know what to say." He admitted.

"Well, as much as I'd love to know when the fiancé thing happened, you have a beautiful man to take care of." Leyla reminded him. "Go look after him. We will still be here."

He hugged them all independently in gratitude and they walked him to his car, waving him off as his head spun from all of the love that was being sent their way.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56 TNB

A few weeks passed in relative peace as they came to terms with their losses and began their plans to re-build the interior of their home. Damon hadn't been quite as distraught as Stefan had expected the first day they went back to have a look.

They'd walked into the lounge and looked around at how black everything was. It still smelled quite heavily of smoke and Stefan ran his fingers over the remains of the furniture, watching it crumble. Damon walked around a lot and didn't speak as he inspected all the rooms. He saved the bedroom for last as he dragged his feet inside to see their beautiful bed in ashes. Stefan followed him in worriedly and held him from behind as Damon sighed and leaned their heads together.

"There'll be another huge, amazing bed out there for us." Stefan kissed his shoulder and Damon nodded.

Damon seemed more lost in thought of late, than distressed or emotional about their losses. It worried Stefan a little. It was odd to see Damon appear to be moping. Damon usually had no time for such nonsense. He took action – sometimes flippantly, rather than sit and brood. Perhaps he didn't trust himself not to make stupid actions or mistakes right now, that would cause them further heartache and that was why he was being sullen.

Their friends, whom had fought so ardently for their right to stay there, were plentiful in their involvement and support and before Stefan could ask for help, they had volunteered to help them rebuild the house. Damon had been gobsmacked at the reaction from them. In his whole life, he'd never inspired such friendship from anyone. He couldn't quite believe it was real.

While they got repairs underway and ordered new furniture, they stayed at the Boarding House again – having procured some new furniture to aid that. Stefan had had to go to great lengths to hide the drum kit again but he'd managed to keep it out of view. He had been tiptoeing around the discussion of their engagement. He knew that Damon had rings and had plans but they hadn't spoken about it again after that morning in the motel. Stefan knew he had to be patient but it was hard. Stefan had outted the fact that they would be getting married by referring to Damon as his fiancé but he'd sworn them all to secrecy because he didn't want to spoil it for Damon. No, he wanted to let him have his moment of choosing when he asked him.

They were both elated when a new huge bed arrived and they set it up in Damon's old bedroom again. It was quite similar to the old one but this time he had gone for a real four poster bed. It had arrived when Stefan had been working at the new house so he didn't see it until he got home later that day. He arrived back, filthy and sweaty from exertion and walked up the stairs slowly to enter Damon's room for a shower, when he paused. He'd been here that morning when the bed had arrived but Damon had spent time dressing it and arranging it so it was a sight to behold. He'd hung drapes around it that were almost like thin, delicate lace. They were enough to conceal the occupants of the bed but not enough that they took away the look of the bed. Damon had secured them to each post with delicate ties so that when the bed was made, they could be held back and expose the rest of it, making the room seem larger. It was beautiful.

He took a deep inhale of the fresh scent of the linen on it and smiled. He moved over and touched the lace in his hands. This was a romantic bed. He badly wanted to christen it, but where was Damon?

"Damon?" He called out, but got no reply.

He sat down on the bed and swept his hand over the linens. They were expensive and soft. Damon had gone to a lot of effort on this particular item of furniture. As far as Damon was concerned, as long as you had a comfortable bed, all other furniture came second and now Stefan could understand that logic. He stood up, not wanting to soil the bed and stripped, moving into the shower to cleanse himself. He enjoyed the warm water. With any luck, they'd have the plumbing repaired in the new house within the next few days. It would be a relief! They had replaced the interior walls and floors – with the help and sweat of their friends and some guys they'd paid to help. The thought had occurred to just pay men to come in and do all of the work quickly, but yet again they both felt the need to get hands dirty on this house and the efforts of their friends to help them, made the house feel more important, more loved and lived in. It was going to be even better than it was before at this rate. The fire had actually been slightly useful as it had shown that there were some structural problems that had been unknown to them. It also provided the opportunity for them to have a new bathtub with feet on it and taps in the middle – to be added to their bedroom as well as the bathroom on the level.

A spiral staircase was being fitted also – which was something Stefan was very excited about. He'd always wanted one and so they had it leading from the lounge down to a library beneath, where they could curl up and read if they wanted.

He'd just come back from fitting the carpeting throughout the house so he was excited to let Damon know how close they were to being able to move back. He smiled to himself as he showered, relaxed and happy. He'd get Damon into that bed tonight and make him smile. He hadn't seen Damon smile for days he'd been so reserved and lost in his own thoughts. A little sex would bring him out of his reverie. They hadn't slept together for days.

He got out of the shower and began to groom himself, wrapped in his towel when Damon finally came in downstairs. He called out to him and heard him coming up to the room.

"Hey!" He smiled and went to him, kissing him softly and winding his arms around his waist as Damon rested their foreheads together. "Where have you been?"

"Out." Damon said and nuzzled his neck and shoulder, breathing in his smell.

"I love the bed." Stefan ran his fingers through the hair at the back of Damon's neck – still so long.

"Hmmn." Damon hummed.

"I want you in it." Stefan whispered huskily and Damon pulled back and gave him a chaste kiss as he smiled. "That's the first smile I've seen in days." Stefan cupped his cheeks and Damon smiled again.

"Not yet, it took me ages to get it that nice." Damon said and Stefan gave a small huff. "I really want to get the plumbing finished tonight. Are you up for working on it tonight?"

Stefan stifled a grumble. He'd been working hard all day. The thought of mucking about under the flooring with pipes and wrenches didn't really appeal to him right now. He wanted Damon in that bed. His expression didn't hide his feelings and Damon gave him a soft kiss and slid his arm around Stefan's waist tenderly.

"Please. I want it finished tonight." Damon said and Stefan sighed and nodded.

"Ok, but afterwards I want you inside of me for at least half a day. Understood?" Stefan bargained and Damon chucked and kissed him again.

"Deal."

"Fine. Get me a blood bag would you?" Stefan asked and Damon disappeared from the room to fetch him one as Stefan sat down on the bed and gave an unhappy groan.

He was tired already and just wanted some attention. The house repairs had dominated their lives and he'd hoped for a quiet night in tonight, especially since they had the new bed. Clearly Damon's focus was on the house as usual. He got dressed and Damon brought him a blood bag, warmed up and emptied into a mug for him.

"I'm going to head to the house just now. Catch up with me?" Damon asked, stroking through Stefan's hair and Stefan nodded. "Ok."

"Love you." Stefan said and Damon smiled and kissed him again before leaving.

Stefan grumbled to himself all the drive back to the house as he tried to get himself in the mood for a long, hard night ahead of them. There was loads to do still if Damon wanted it finished tonight. He pulled over into their land and headed up to the house. At the very least, they would be working together tonight. Lately, Damon had been jumping between the new house and the Boarding House as he'd had to take care of the delivery of their new furniture as well as work on the new place too, so they hadn't seen as much of each other as was preferable.

He walked inside and enjoyed the smell of the new carpets he'd laid. He loved that smell. He called for Damon and heard him respond from underneath the floor in the kitchen. He followed the sound of his voice and entered. The kitchen was the last piece of the plumbing they'd deemed necessary. They didn't really eat that much – only occasionally, so the kitchen wasn't a huge priority. He approached the hole in the floor where Damon had climbed down to start working.

"How's it going?" He called down and Damon growled in frustration and made a clanging sound that sounded as though he'd dropped something. "You ok?"

"Damn pipes. Something's jamming this one. Can't get it clear. Can you hand me a flashlight?"

Stefan handed him one down there and crouched down to look in. Damon was covered in dust and sweat and he looked tired from his efforts already.

"You want me to have a go?" Stefan took his jacket off and Damon gave a huge sigh and fell silent.

"Yeah." Damon said and climbed out, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

Stefan smiled and kissed him.

"I love it when you're all dirty and hot. Means I can actually get you naked in a bath later."

"Yeah, if you can fix the pipes so we can turn the damn water on." Damon huffed frustratedly, seemingly missing Stefan's sexual connotations.

Stefan gave a small sigh and helped him out of the hole. Damon handed him the wrench and flashlight and he slid down into the hole and over to where Damon had been working. The pipes didn't seem to be aligned quite right and he could see why Damon was struggling. He fought to loosen one end, even with vampire strength it was tricky. If he put too much strength into it, he'd crush the pipe by accident. This kind of work required finesse that was difficult for vampire muscle control. He huffed and kept trying.

"Maybe we should just get a human plumber to do this." He sighed and Damon gave a small chuckle.

Stefan huffed annoyed. This was the last thing he wanted to be doing right now and Damon was laughing about it? He felt his face redden with annoyance.

"Maybe try loosening the other pipe. Maybe it'll come off easier, and then we can try and put them back in line." Damon suggested and Stefan nodded and looked to the small pipe.

He reached for it and began to loosen the bolts. It did seem to be coming away and he exhaled in thanks. His flashlight went out suddenly and he paused as the pipe came away suddenly. The bolt fell to the floor and made a metallic ring as they hit the ground beneath him and he grumbled.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, just damn flashlight." Stefan huffed and hit it on the bottom to turn it on again.

It didn't turn on and he sighed in exasperation. He unscrewed the bottom, sitting up as much as the space would allow so he could take the batteries out and put them back in again. He had no idea why this sometimes worked, but it did. Go figure. He loosened the bottom and tilted it to empty the batteries into his hands when something foreign fell out. He frowned and dropped the batteries as they slid out too.

"What?" He frowned to himself and touched the debris, pausing when he felt a small circular band in his hand.

Damon had fallen silent above. Stefan lifted the batteries and pushed them back inside, turning the flashlight back on and shining it into his palm. His heart stopped.

"Stefan?" Damon's voice was quiet.

Stefan stared down at the little band, realising what it was. A wedding band. He sucked in a breath in amazement and Damon called his name again. Stefan looked up to the hole and crawled towards it, covering himself in the dirt and dust on the ground but he didn't care. He climbed out of the hole and looked around as he blinked at the light in the room. Damon was on his knees and looking at him intensely.

"Stefan, will you do me the eternal honour…" Damon took a nervous breath as Stefan looked to him aghast and clenched the little ring in his hand, "…of being mine?"

Stefan gave a small nervous laugh as his eyes filled with tears. Damon searched his face, pale and anxious.

"On one condition." Stefan said and Damon visibly paled as his eyes widened. "That you be mine too, in every way possible."

Damon parted his lips and took a breath as Stefan smiled and moved over to him so they were face to face.

"I have been since we climbed out of that safe." Damon breathed and Stefan kissed him, winding his arms around him.

"Yes, yes, yes…" He breathed into the kisses and Damon held him tightly as they kissed with more passion than they had for weeks.

It seemed as though finally, Damon let go and let Stefan have the attention he'd been craving for days. He lifted Stefan up, so that he held his under his bottom as Stefan wrapped his legs around his back and kissed him as he moved them to the lounge. He fell to his knees and lay Stefan down on his back. Their kisses grew more heated and desperate. It had been days! They began to tear at each other's clothes until they were both naked and writhing against each other. Dust or dirt be damned.

"Maybe we should…have a bath first…" Stefan breathed in between kisses and Damon shook his head and pulled Stefan's legs open wider.

Stefan could feel how hard and ready he was and he trembled and moaned in bliss and relief when Damon slid inside of him. Damon looked down at him in response and chuckled.

"It's only been a few days Stef."

"Too long." Stefan smiled and held him around his back as he rocked his hips upwards.

"Let me see it on." Damon paused and Stefan looked to his hand, where he was still holding the ring clenched.

He opened his hand and Damon took the ring and placed it slowly onto his finger.

"It's my wedding ring?" Stefan asked and Damon nodded. "Am I allowed to wear it?"

"Just for tonight." Damon smiled and he frowned a little in disappointment. "Don't worry, soon it'll never leave your finger." Damon brought his hand up and sucked all of his fingers one at a time.

Stefan rocked his hips against him as he did so and Damon released his hand and interlinked their fingers before leaning down again and beginning to move. Stefan moaned and tilted his throat at every deep push that hit his prostate and Damon kissed around his neck and shoulders, whispering words of love and desire. Stefan was loud and vocal throughout and Damon breathless and emotional.

"Yes, yes…there…Damon…" He drooled and arched and Damon made small bites and suckled at him throughout.

He climaxed loudly and Damon took a breather as he calmed again, moving around so that he could hold him from behind and thrust in from a different angle. Stefan moved his legs to enable him to enter him again at this angle and pushed back into him. Damon kissed his neck and continued to bite until Stefan found himself so deep in lust and desire that he began to take Damon by moving back into him instead of Damon thrusting. This took Damon by surprised but it felt good so he held onto Stefan's hips and stopped moving.

Damon began to pant into the skin of his neck and tighten his hold as his climax approached and Stefan moved his whole pelvis in sharp bursts to massage Damon's manhood until Damon cried out and filled him, gasping and burying his face deep into Stefan's neck as he breathed. They both lay while they caught their breath. Damon pulled out from him and pressed his soft member into him, gyrating slightly to remind Stefan's body that he was still there, even when not dominating his insides. Stefan closed his eyes and hummed at how the action made his body tingle.

"You owe me days of sex fiancé." He whispered and Damon hummed in agreement. "In our new bed."

"Not yet." Damon whispered and Stefan turned his head to frown at him. "We have a flight to catch tonight."

"What?" Stefan turned to face him fully now and Damon slid his hands around his waist and held him as Stefan searched his face.

"Don't get comfortable. We have to leave in half an hour."

"Where are we going?" Stefan asked in surprise and Damon exhaled happily and looked at him.

"New York."

"New York?"

"That bed is our marriage bed Stef. I want you in it tomorrow as mine." Damon smiled as Stefan's wheels turned in his head.

"We're getting married tonight?" Stefan gasped.

"Hmmn." Damon smiled and nodded. "Got someone who owes me a favour."

"But it's late already."

"Favour collecting." Damon pointed out. "As soon as the papers are signed, we have a flight back home and I'm going to take you to bed and not let you leave ever."

Stefan's body glowed at that promise as he tried to get his head around it. Damon had planned for them to be married tonight and then return back home too? All so they could be official by the time the morning came and they could start their new lives together as quickly as possible. Stefan began to chuckle as Damon kissed gently around his jaw and neck.

"Well, that's the quickest engagement I've ever heard of." He joked and Damon chuckled into his skin.

The flights were quick, the ceremony briefer than Stefan imagined it would be. He'd been to lots of weddings but this one he knew was a legal formality tonight only. The judge that owed Damon a favour – god knows for what, had gone through the ceremony with speed and accuracy. It was a bit of a shame, but Stefan didn't let on that he was disappointed. At the end of the day it meant that they were legally married for real. Damon had applied for the license a week ago and a month before that had began the process of ensuring that on paper and as far as the human world was aware, they were actually second cousins, not brothers. The paperwork was all official and stamped and signed on the dotted lines. Stefan now realised this was what had kept Damon's mind so occupied. He wanted it to be real – not just vows made in their barn where no one could see or bear witness. Damon wanted it to be real. Mind you, the witnesses were provided by the judge and weren't their friends, just so the ceremony would be legal. Stefan had officially just turned 19, so they didn't have consent as an issue thankfully.

The flight back was tiring. Although the idea of whisking themselves away and then back on the same night was romantic, the reality of airports and bags and airport security was tiring and by the time they got home, they were married but exhausted.

They pulled up outside of the Boarding House and looked at each other, sitting in the car. They both felt different for some reason. Strange because all they'd done was sign bits of paper, but somehow everything felt different.

"Damon…" Stefan blushed as he spoke and Damon raised his eyebrows? "I'm…exhausted."

"Me too." Damon exhaled as though in relief and Stefan chuckled.

"I want our wedding night to be special."

"Me too."

"Can we wait till tomorrow?"

"You bet." Damon smiled and they both relaxed at the prospect of just being able to go to sleep. "But, not in that bed." Damon held up his finger and Stefan groaned.

"We only have one bed." Stefan grumbled, taking off his jacket. "I'm tired."

"No way." Damon shook his head and Stefan sighed. "I have another idea."

"Ok." Stefan folded his arms, a little irritated at how much Damon was guarding the bed.

Damon started the ignition again.

"What? Where are we going? Damon I'm tired, come on."

"Such a grumpy groom." Damon joked and stuck his bottom lip out. "You'll thank me tomorrow when we have clean sheets."

Stefan sighed in vexation and grumbled.

"Oh, first fight?" Damon joked and Stefan scowled at him.

"This bed better be damn worth it Damon or I'm going to strangle you!" He growled.

"Go to sleep." Damon said gently.

Stefan lay his head against the window and closed his eyes, trying to do just that. What the hell was Damon playing at? Before he knew it, Damon was lifting him into his arms out of the car and he blinked awake and looked up at him.

"Where are we?" Stefan mumbled, sleepily and looked around.

"Ssssh, just sleep." Damon cooed and Stefan noticed the new house.

"We don't have anywhere to sleep here." Stefan complained, whining and Damon shushed him again as he continued to walk past the house towards the barn.

Stefan closed his eyes again and exhaled. Damon opened the barn with his foot and moved inside and Stefan opened his eyes in surprise at the light inside. There were candles alight inside. When had he done that? Surely he hadn't left candles burning the whole time they'd been jumping around? Not when they'd just had a fire! He opened his mouth to scold him when he noticed how far the wicks had to burn. No, these candles had only recently been lit. Damon had some helpers. He smiled at the thought and wondered who as Damon carried him to the stairs and stood him on his feet.

"What's this?"

"Climb up." Damon instructed and so he did, gasping as he came to the top and stood up to look around.

All around him, above their heads were spitfires and other model planes and stars, gently twisting on their wires animatedly. The skylight was open ajar so that a gentle breeze made it seem as though they were moving. He gazed around at them in amazement as Damon began to remove his clothing. He looked at him in question and then noticed the bed that had been made for them under the skylight. It was a basic mattress with pillows and blankets but there were rose petals scattered around and candles too. Stefan looked at him as his chest squeezed and Damon smiled and motioned for him to come to him.

"How did you do this?" Stefan whispered as Damon began to undress him and kiss him.

"With a little help from our friends."

"Our friends." Stefan emphasized and Damon smiled in acknowledgement.

"Who'd have thought in a million years?" Damon smiled and pulled him down onto the bed with him.

They climbed onto it, moving the blankets and rose petals aside and lay down facing each other. It was so comfortable and fresh. The scent of the roses surrounded them and Stefan cupped Damon's cheek tenderly, running his thumb over his mouth.

"I love you."

"More than a million spitfires?" Damon teased, holding him close and Stefan paused.

"Hmmn. That's a close one." He joked and Damon grinned and kissed him.

"Luckily, we have room for a million little ones." Damon whispered and lay his head down onto the pillow relaxing. "Sleep Stefan. Tomorrow, you'll be my husband for real."

Stefan nodded and closed his eyes as Damon leaned over and blew out the candles, leaving the relaxing, rose scented darkness to consume them.

When the sun rose in the morning it filtered through the skylight and roused them gently. Stefan opened his eyes and exhaled peacefully as they looked at each other.

"Morning." He whispered and Damon smiled and stroked his side.

"Good morning husband."

Stefan smiled in disbelief that it had actually happened and that Damon had clearly planned it all down to a T. He shook his head.

"Can we leave the repairs to the house today and just stay in bed." Stefan asked and Damon sighed.

"Well, I have another bed in mind."

"Oh yeah." Stefan smiled and Damon sat up and kissed him.

"Stay here, I'll get you a blood bag." Damon ordered and Stefan nodded and lay on his back looking up at the planes moving above him slowly.

He knew those hooks were for something like this. How long had Damon planned this? He lay comfortable and rested as he waited. Damon came back after five minutes and brought a bag up with him. Stefan sat up and eyed it.

"I thought it'd be nice to celebrate properly. I know last night's ceremony wasn't exactly romantic and we didn't get to get dressed up."

"You want us to get dressed up today?"

"Yeah why not? I'll take you out for some lunch and everyone will see us all pretty and manly looking." Damon winked and Stefan chuckled. "Everyone will know something special has happened."

"We should tell everyone."

"We will, but let's have our day first ok? I don't want to have to share you with hoards of people wanting a piece of you today. Just you and me and a bottle of wine."

"Ok." Stefan smiled and Damon tossed him a blood bag as he opened the suit bags and began to dress.

Stefan watched him with hungry eyes as Damon dressed in the smartest, most flattering dinner suit, he'd ever seen him in. It was clearly expensive and made to stand out from normal suits. On the jacket he had a small pin with a plane on it and Stefan chuckled.

"You kind of look like a pilot."

"Romantic aren't you." Damon fake growled and smiled.

Stefan finished the bag and stood up stretching. Damon handed him a suit bag and he pulled his out. It was gorgeous and very delicately hand-made. It matched Damon's but was different enough not to make them look like twins. He smiled at the comfort of the fabric as he slid on the clothes, smiling at how much Damon had thought of everything. He felt a little bad that he hadn't had to do anything, make any effort. When he was dressed they looked at each other and fixed each other's jackets as they kissed and smiled.

"Everyone will know something's up." Stefan commented and Damon grinned.

"That's the point."

"I suppose you have a reservation somewhere." He raised his eyebrows and Damon nodded. "Where?"

"It's a surprise."

Stefan huffed but nodded smiling as Damon chuckled.

"Trust me." Damon said and he nodded.

They managed to climb down out of the top section without damaging their clothes thankfully and walked hand in hand back to the car.

"I was so mad at you for making me climb under the floor last night." Stefan shook his head as he remembered.

"That was the plan."

"To make me annoyed at you?"

"I enjoy you when you're hard work."

Stefan punched him in the arm and laughed as Damon shrugged. They got into the Camaro and Damon drove back towards Mystic Falls.

"We better not be going to the Grill." Stefan said and Damon chuckled and shook his head.

"No, got something a little higher class in mind."

"Thank god. I'd hate to sit, eating a burger and fries with this suit on." They both chuckled.

"I just need to grab something from the Boarding House first."

"Oh, ok." Stefan nodded.

They drove up to the front door and Damon turned to him, chewing his lip.

"I'll just be a minute. You might as well wait here."

"Ok." Stefan said and had a look for his cell phone in his bag in the back.

Damon got out and went inside. Stefan fumbled around frustrated until he found his cell and opened it. No messages. That was unusual. Normally he had something. He checked his inbox for emails and was flooded with bills and charges for some of their renovation work. He groaned and went through them. Thank god they were rich! Then he spotted and email from an address he didn't recognise. He hovered over it warily. It could be a virus. Still there was something familiar about the name. He opened it and scrolled down.

As he read he gasped and shook his head in amazement. It was from the Jerk Wad. They'd compensated him for the loss of some of his cars and wealth – like he'd promised the Mayor they would and it was a thank you message. He'd never expected that in a million years! The Jerk Wad thanking them? He continued to scroll down reading and paused when he saw a photograph of the Jerk Wad with a new partner – a partner who wasn't a forty something blonde female arsonist. No, it was a thirty something blonde male. Stefan stared at the photo in disbelief. They had their arms around each other. It was obvious that they were together romantically. He shook his head in disbelief and a little dread. God, Damon had compelled the man to be gay. What had he done?

He moved past the image, shuddering at the implications of the compulsion. That man had been married and had kids, etc – which was what had spurned his wife to try to kill them and go on a house burning rampage!

"I just wanted to let you know also, that despite every way you wronged me and my family, that you've also opened my eyes. For a long time my marriage wasn't working and I put it to the back of my mind. I never understood why I wasn't happy until I met Karl and then I just knew."

"God, Damon." Stefan groaned.

"We met just recently, after my ill fated attempts at being gay thanks to you. Now that you've removed the compulsion I feel free. I know that the way I feel about Karl is real now, it's not because of you and I wanted to say thank you. I never would have allowed myself to suspect that I could love a man as much as I used to love my wife."

Stefan's eyes widened. What? The guy…was gay after all? He'd had thoughts about men before Damon had compelled him. He shook his head again as he tried to remember what Damon had confessed to compelling the man to do.

"I may have compelled him to explore his latent homosexual urges…" He remembered Damon saying and he chewed his lip.

Damon had seen it in him back then. Damon was good at that. He noticed things that people put out there, even if they didn't know themselves. Damon had taken in his reaction towards them kissing when he'd come into the garage looking for his car that day. He'd thought that Damon simply disliked the guy because the guy genuinely was an asshole, but Damon had seen past the guy's exterior and disgust at their homosexuality. He knew the guy secretly desired what they had and that must have been why he compelled him like he did.

He huffed and looked towards the Boarding House. Wait till he told him! He'd maybe feel a little better now as a result of hearing this. What was taking him so long anyway? He put his cell back into his bag and climbed out of the car to tell him. He wanted him to know straight away.

"Damon? You'll never guess what?" He called out laughing as he pushed the front door open and halted when he saw the room.

He stared aghast as lots of eyes he knew well, turned to look in his direction. He looked around in confusion and saw the garlands of flowers tied along the walls and over the fireplace. He opened his mouth to breathe as he realised what this was. He looked down at the red carpet that he hadn't noticed and his eyes followed its journey towards an alter, where Damon was standing smiling, with the Sheriff beside him in full uniform.

"Damon?" His voice was barely a whisper and Caroline appeared at his side.

She was dressed in a fancy gown and has flowers in her hair too. He gaped at her.

"I figured I could be your best man." She smiled and took his elbow as he huffed.

She smiled encouragingly and he looked back to everyone in the room with wide eyes. Everyone was here, Leyla, the guys from the band and the people he knew from the bar…everyone from their group in Mystic Falls too. He couldn't believe it. He settled his eyes on Damon and then everything seemed to go into slow motion. Damon's face became the only thing he was aware of as Caroline urged them forward to walk down their 'aisle'. They walked slowly, his legs a little like jelly as his eyes filled with tears.

This was exactly what he'd wanted last night. A real wedding and Damon didn't do anything by half. That's why he hadn't let them spend the night here last night, because everyone must have been here decorating it while they were in New York. He tightened his hold on Caroline and squeezed as he smiled at her and she exhaled happily and took him to Damon, where she stepped away to the side. He searched Damon's face for a second before Liz started to speak. They held hands and turned towards her as she welcomed everyone. She was doing it perfectly, although using the same wording the judge had used last night, she managed to put the right emotion and feeling into the words and he was entranced by her and so thankful he could count her amongst his friends. He knew that a sheriff couldn't legally marry them, that was why Damon had done their little state hop, but she was exactly who he'd have wanted to do this and so here she was. She beamed at both of them as she spoke. She knew they were brothers and like Caroline, she'd been horrified at first but no one could deny now, how perfectly they were suited. Despite their human genes, they were a real couple and one that deserved every bit as much of the right to this union as anyone did.

The words seemed to flow through him and he felt almost as though he was floating, until Liz looked at him pointedly and he blinked.

"Stefan, repeat after me." She advised and he listened, repeating back the legal formalities to her before she turned to Damon to do the same.

Stefan smiled, feeling his body relaxed and warm.

"The rings." Liz said and Stefan felt a tug at his elbow.

He turned to see Caroline at his side and he smiled. She winked at him and handed him Damon's wedding band. He looked at his hands in surprise. When had his come off of his finger without him knowing? He looked at Damon who just winked and smirked at him and he smiled and looked at Liz again.

"With this ring, I thee wed…" She said and he followed her again, thankful he didn't have to think for himself as he felt so light headed.

He looked into Damon's eyes as he repeated the words and slid the ring onto his finger. Damon was doing a not too bad job at acting as though he was calm and collected, but Stefan could tell from his eyes that he was bursting with emotion. Those blue spheres were almost luminous in colour. Damon turned and Elena came to his side and handed him Stefan's ring. Stefan smiled at her in thanks and couldn't believe how much love he felt for everyone in the room right now.

"With this ring, I thee wed…" Damon repeated as he slid the ring on his finger and bent down to kiss it as everyone sighed happily.

"Now if you have any vows of your own, you can share them here." She advised and he and Damon looked to each other.

"No, they're just for us." Damon smiled and Stefan gave a nod of agreement.

"Ok. Well with the power invested in me by…well, you both…" She smiled and everyone chuckled. "I now pronounce you, life partners for as long as you both shall…" she paused, eliciting a chuckle from everyone again, "…be." She finished and everyone laughed and clapped heartily as Damon chuckled and grabbed him, giving him a fierce kiss on the lips.

Stefan felt his face grow red at the attention from everyone and they turned around and smiled at everyone as the band started whooping and heckling them. They laughed and held hands as the band slipped away and brought some instruments back with them from the kitchen.

They began to play some music for them as they walked back down the aisle, talking to people along the way and showing their rings. It was perfect. Everyone began to mingle and chat as a few camera phones and cameras started to flash. Stefan felt like a celebrity but he didn't release Damon's hand the entire time. Damon pulled him close and breathed him in at his ear, making Stefan shiver.

"You know, there are tribes where once the ceremony is over, everyone cheers as you consummate the union." Damon whispered so only he could hear and Stefan's body vibrated.

He looked at his face as his loins began to burn.

"We can always wait and enjoy the party." Damon said and kissed his nose and cheeks as Stefan tried to calm his racing heart.

"I don't think they'll miss us for a few hours." Stefan whispered, his voice breaking with desire and Damon's pupils widened.

Damon gave him a wicked grin that sent all of the blood down to his manhood and pulled him by the hand towards the staircase. He heard Elena and Caroline both exhale and giggle at their departure as they moved up the stairs towards their room. Damon lifted him just at the doorway and swept them both inside as they kissed, moving towards the bed.

He set Stefan down on it and leaned down to undress him. Stefan reached and began to undo his clothes too. Damon was careful with the clothes for a change and lay them carefully down next to the bed as they stood up and stripped until they were naked. Damon reached behind him, kissing his shoulder and neck and drew the blankets back. Stefan felt beyond excited. Everything still felt different. Damon leaned back up and searched his eyes for a moment before he gently pushed against his chest, urging him to lie down. He obeyed and Damon smiled down at him as though he was a treasure, before he unloosened the tie backs and let the lace fall and cover that side of the bed frame. Stefan looked at the lace and smiled. It was lovely and he reached out and touched it with his fingertips as Damon moved to the other side of the bed and climbed in, unloosening his side too.

They turned to each other slowly, both seeming nervous although that was insane.

"You're mine now." Stefan whispered and Damon smiled back as he reached to bring their mouths together.

They kissed slowly, delicately – exploring each other's mouths and tongues as they sighed and allowed themselves to relax. Downstairs a party was beginning and they knew that they wouldn't be missed for a while. Damon stroked up his sides gently, making him shiver. Stefan slid his hands down to Damon's buttocks and squeezed them. They rolled around slowly as they kissed and touched and whimpered into each other's mouths. They were both so hard and ready but they were enjoying the kissing and simple touches so much, neither felt the need to take control.

Eventually they became flushed and wanting and Stefan pushed Damon onto his back and straddled him. Damon slid his hands up his hips, waiting. Stefan wanted both – to be entered and to be inside of him. He wished it were possible, but it wasn't. He pumped Damon's erection, enjoying how it made him squirm. They were both so ready and leaking with desire that the juices helped the sensation increase as he squeezed and pumped him using his juices to make his hand moist. Damon moved into his hand as he continued and Stefan's cheeks flushed as his own manhood twitch ready to go.

"I want everything all at the same time." Stefan admitted and Damon gave a chuckle.

He gave Damon's manhood another few tugs before his body spoke for him and he reached behind and began to prepare himself. He wanted to feel Damon move inside of him. Damon closed his eyes and pumped Stefan's manhood for him to help and Stefan moaned and flexed his hips in response. Stefan used Damon's juices to lubricate himself until he was open and aching. Damon gazed up at him in wonder and Stefan raised his hips and lowered himself slowly down onto him as they stared into each other's eyes.

Damon practically moaned at the action and Stefan leaned over and kissed his chest. Damon exhaled and began to move upwards. They slid in and out of each other as Damon held Stefan's manhood, sliding it up and down in time with his thrusts. They both shivered and panted against each other as Stefan returned his mouth to Damon's. Kissing was difficult when their bodies were so demanding but they licked at each other's tongues desperately the hotter they grew until they were panting too hard to continue. Damon moaned and Stefan sat back and moved his hips to take him deeper, riding him on top now as Damon tilted upwards and let tiny beads of sweat roll down his chest.

Stefan was panting so hard now, it felt like their little bed was a sauna, the drapes holding in the scent and heat of their love making. He could feel that Damon wouldn't last much longer and he wasn't ready yet, so he slowed and they took a few seconds to breathe and kiss before continuing. He sat up again and removed Damon's hand from his member.

"I want to try something different." He whispered and Damon raised his eyebrows.

He climbed off of his manhood, now swollen and huge, ready to fill him as he smiled at how much Damon wanted him. He looked at his body, glowing and ready and closed his eyes as he thought. He opened them again and turned his back, lifting his hips again to climb onto Damon again. He lowered himself down with Damon's help and filled himself again. Damon sat up and kissed his neck and shoulders as they adjusted again. He reached around for Stefan's manhood but Stefan patted his hand away and urged him to relax and lie down. Damon did so and Stefan took some of his juices and traced down to Damon's entrance. Damon jolted in surprise. It wasn't easy in this position but he could reach it if he moved far enough forward, effectively taking Damon into his entrance at a slight angle. As he did this, Damon moaned louder in pleasure though, so he guessed it was still as good even if it wasn't as deep.

He pushed a finger inside and Damon moaned at the sensation.

"Going to be inside you too." Stefan panted as Damon began to rock into him. "Uhhh, god you're not going to make this easy." Stefan mewled.

Damon entrance relaxed around his fingers and took three very quickly. Stefan put his other hand around his own manhood and stroked it. This would be good. As Stefan's fingers frantically plunged in search of his prostate, Damon moaned and thrust harder with more intention.

Very quickly they both were completely lost and shaking, ready to climax. Stefan felt his erection begin to spill and he slid his fingers in as far as they could go into Damon's entrance, as he leaned forward one last time and Damon howled and slammed into him so hard they nearly separated at the jolt of the movement and Stefan climaxed all over his hand. Damon's thrusts turned urgent and he sat up immediately and held Stefan to his chest as he fucked his brains out and then filled him as he shouted.

Both of them fell backwards as they breathed. It was insanely hot in the bed, but neither could move yet to do anything about it. They were sticky and hot and wonderful. Damon held Stefan to his chest still and Stefan lay between his legs, slick and slidey but deliriously happy.

"That…was new." Damon chuckled and Stefan nodded and smiled.

"I want something I can penetrate you with too."

"Uh, you already have the equipment Stef."

"Yeah but when we are like this, when you're inside me. I want to be able to give you that at the same time."

"Christ. I might die." Damon chuckled and Stefan smiled again as he wriggled in their juices.

"I'm really full. The bed clothes were so fresh."

"There's another set all ready for later." Damon sighed.

Stefan felt himself begin to leak and he squirmed a little more and sat up.

"Oh no you don't!" Damon caught him as he meant to move from the bed and empty himself for round two.

He pulled him back down.

"I want you covered in me." Damon gave a growl and Stefan chuckled. "I want this bed as messy as is physically possible."

He pulled Stefan onto his chest and circled his fingers into Stefan's leaking entrance as Stefan kissed his neck and shivered.

"You are full."

"Hmmn."

"God that's so fucking hot." Damon gave a growl and inserted his fingers inside to explore.

Stefan whimpered.

"Now you know how it feels." Damon said happily as Stefan squirmed again. "Do you want to fill me up?"

"Uhh." Stefan moaned into his chest and clutched him as Damon curled his fingers inside of him, making him spurt a few more drops of his juices between them.

"Oops." Damon chuckled and Stefan sighed.

"Just wait." Stefan mumbled into his skin. "I'm going to fuck you till you can't walk back down to our guests."

Damon chuckled and squeezed him to him.

"Plenty of time for competitive fucking Stef."

"Hmmn."

"A lifetime."

"Several lifetimes." Stefan sighed and exhaled across Damon's chest.

"Hmmn, but right now let me take care of you." Damon stroked his back and Stefan sighed again as he was rolled over.

Damon leaned down, stroking the sweat from his forehead.

"Let's see how much of me your body can take." He winked and opened Stefan's legs.

Stefan smiled widely and whimpered as Damon entered him again. They were going to make a horrendous mess but it didn't matter. This was their bridal bed and it was expected. Damon took him slowly this time to his climax, tilting him and bringing Stefan's knees up and at different angles to hit all of the best bits and make them both moan in pleasure. Just the sight of Damon's abdominal muscles contracting and releasing as he was thrusting into him was enough to make him moan his name. As their climax approached again, Damon held under his hips and pulled him onto his lap and Stefan arched to help him get deeper as his erection erupted into Damon's hand and sent him mad.

He shouted really loudly and heard Damon climax with excitement, filling him impossibly more than he was already so that their juices pooled around them. Damon remained upright and seated as they breathed and chuckled. That last shout had definitely been heard – and not just by vampire ears. Damon pulled out of him slowly and opened the drapes, fumbling as he climbed out and tried to get his legs to move. Stefan closed his eyes and drifted as he heard a bath being drawn.

Damon came back and roused him gently, lifting him out of the bed and placing him into the tub. There was a bottle of champagne here and two glasses and Stefan smiled happily as Damon offered him one before climbing in himself. They clinked their glasses and sat back, stroking each other's legs through the water as they both relaxed. There was a good beat happening down stairs now and alcohol was probably flowing. Stefan felt as though he should want to return to their guests but he couldn't rouse the need. Damon was here and Damon was the world.

Damon seemed to drift off to sleep with his head resting back and Stefan sat his empty glass down and leaned forward, grabbing a sponge and washing his body as he slept. He leaned in and stole a quick kiss, to which Damon slowly opened his eyes to.

"So you're going to look after me from now on huh? A man could get used to this." Damon smiled lazily.

"Hmmn." Stefan smiled and withdrew to wash himself now. "We should go back down."

"Nope." Damon said and smirked when Stefan splashed him with bubbles.

"It's our wedding party."

"Exactly. I'm happy with the party happening right here."

"How did you do all of this?" Stefan asked now, curious and Damon opened one eye to look at him before closing it again and smiling.

"Hard work."

"I never even knew any of this was happening."

"Blondie sort of took over a little and went mad." Damon said and Stefan chuckled at how like her that sounded.

"I'll have to thank her."

"I was always the brains of the operation though. What do I get?" He cranked an eye open again teasingly.

"You get to have me left, right and sideways for a few days."

"Deal." Damon smiled and sighed. "Not that I wouldn't have anyway."

Stefan sat and listened to the music downstairs. The band were here and they had their instruments. His drum kit had stayed hidden and Damon had no idea. He wasn't the only one who could do surprises. He sat a little straighter as he thought on it. Damon seemed to be drifting asleep again. Stefan sat up and made up his mind. He climbed out of the tub and Damon whined.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I'll be back in a minute." Stefan moved looking for his cell, but he'd left it in the car.

He looked around for his clothes and chewed his lip. He wanted to do this. Damon had drifted again so he dressed back into his clothes as quietly as he could and crept out of the room. He went down into a mad party and shushed people, indicating to them not to cheer as he'd sneaked away. Everyone seemed intrigued and amused as he moved amongst them smiling and looking for the band. He found Kenny pouring a few drinks and he hugged him.

"Stefan what a day man. Congrats, finally."

"Thanks." He beamed. "I was thinking maybe we could play the gig we lost the other time? Damon still doesn't know about it."

Kenny raised his eyebrows and gave a wicked smile.

"Yeah, let's do it! Guys!" He called the other band members over and they got excited at the prospect.

They moved away to get the instruments ready and set up Stefan's kit while Stefan found his way to Caroline who had control of the music system and was keeping order as people got more and more drunk.

"There's a queue, chill!" She said as someone complained about their tune not playing and Stefan crossed his arms and laughed.

She laughed back at him and motioned him forward.

"Hey, the band are going to play their set, plus me."

"What?" She gasped.

He hadn't told anyone he'd been trying to play again and she searched his face as he shrugged and smiled.

"Stefan Salvatore, you little…" She laughed and hugged him. "You're really going to play again?"

"For him." Stefan smiled and she nodded and tilted her head.

"Ok. Just give me a signal."

"Ok." He said, exhaling and looking towards the stairwell.

Damon would notice he was gone any minute. Should he go back up or should he just draw him down here? Kenny tapped him on the shoulder as he pondered and told him they were good to go. He motioned to Caroline to cut the music and she did so, much to the heckling of their guests, before Stefan hit one of their champagne glasses with a fork. He knew this sound would go straight to Damon's ears.

"Hey everyone. I just wanted to thank for you for being here. On behalf of my husband…" He smiled as everyone cheered, "…I'd like to say how much it means to us that you're all here and that you've helped us to still be here. Without some of you, our lives could have been very different right now." He paused and smiled to himself as he heard Damon getting out of the bath, half stumbling to find his clothes.

"Damon and I have had a hard time getting here as some of you know. We didn't have the easiest start, but you were all there for us in your own ways. Elena – you always supported me no matter what your stance was and you never gave up on either of us separately either. Everyone from Elmwood – what you did for us at the Mayor's office that day, we'll never forget." He smiled at them and Leyla blushed.

"We love you all." He said simply, looking around at all of their faces.

Kenny motioned to him and he looked to Caroline.

"Ok, so without further ado let me introduce the band we have playing here at Castle Salvatore for Damon and Stefan's wedding!"

Everyone cheered and Stefan disappeared into the crowd and took his place behind the drums. The band had set up right in the middle of the lounge so people had to clear out of the way as Damon came down the stairs wide eyed and surprised. He still looked fucked and happy, his clothing not quite as neat as it had been, rising some giggles from their guests. He gaped when he saw Stefan behind the drums and everyone smiled excitedly and clapped as the band started to play.

Damon stood motionless in the middle of the stairwell as he watched. From here, he had the best view of Stefan and his heart swelled with pride and amazement as he watched. Stefan had to concentrate for the first song, but then he began to feel himself relax into it. The others looked to him supportively as they began to synchronize. They used to be a well oiled machine when he had no memory and although they weren't back there yet, the music was still good. Stefan looked over at Damon and smiled as he saw how awestruck Damon still was. He stood, watching him through a full song without moving.

Stefan felt his heart start to beat faster. This was exactly what he'd wanted, Damon to be proud of him. He wanted to show him that not all of the other Stefan's gifts were gone. If Damon still wanted to be involved with the band then he could be too. It would be something they could share again.

The set moved on to one of Stefan's songs and so he had main lyrics. This one he'd written for Damon and had been practising it with them. He wanted to get it right. The crowd applauded and Damon leaned against the banister to watch the rest, his eyes warm and soft as Stefan looked at him again. Damon didn't know this one.

He started up the rhythm and took a deep breath leaning into his microphone. He began to sing and everyone cheered louder. No one had expected him to have main vocals whilst still playing. It was tricky with the coordination but his desire to make this perfect drove his body on and he put everything he had into it as Damon's eyes filled and his face flushed with emotion. He knew. Stefan sang his heart out, with Kenny doing harmony backing vocals until the song ended perfect and he smiled elated.

The rest of the set was easy in comparison and Stefan was sure he'd have no problem bringing more groupies to the bar from now on, considering everyone's reaction to the music. He stepped away from the drums and Damon was suddenly holding him, kissing him as though he'd come out of nowhere. Stefan held him back and returned the kisses passionately.

"I love you. You're just…" Damon tried to speak but couldn't.

He was overcome and just kept kissing him. So they stayed there on that spot in the lounge for the rest of the night, kissing and dancing and drinking with their family. Because that's what they were in the end - family. Strange to think that he and Damon always had been that but now they were family of a different kind entirely and they weren't going to spend another minute waiting around for their life to begin.

Immortality meant today.


	57. Chapter 57

Hey guys, just a little present from me. I am working on something but it's still cooking, so if I don't post for a few weeks that's why. When it's ready I'll feel it in my bones and you will get a taste.

Love…

Extras TNB

Damon snoozed peacefully on the beach, enjoying the warm sun and gentle caress of the wind coming from the waves. He was utterly relaxed and happy. They had been on their first anniversary trip for only a few days but those few days were proving to be the most relaxing of his life. Being married to Stefan had been the most relaxing time of his life.

Stefan loved being near a beach and so they'd decided on Asia for their first year married. Still they had to be very careful here. There were still many countries where homosexuality was illegal. Damon had snorted at the hypocrisy of that being Stefan's concern when they were vampires.

Still, after everything that had happened to them as a result of compulsion fuck ups, they were a lot more careful to avoid having to use any. Damon had found an isolated and amazingly untouched part of a private beach in Thailand and he'd paid a lot of money to keep all people away from them. Some servants came and found themselves as willing donors thanks to the pleasure of feeding and they both compelled them to believe that they were sleeping with them. That way, it simply looked like two men stayed here who liked fast girls and plenty of them. Thailand was actually quite relaxed with homosexuality and relationships which pleased them greatly. They wouldn't have to hide here, but they still wouldn't be considered married. Damon wanted Stefan all to himself anyway and paid to keep people away despite the culture.

Damon let out a sigh of relaxation and let his body melt into the little bed Stefan had made for them on top of the sand. Stefan had wanted to go on a long walk and collect shells as Damon read his book and slept. Damon jumped in surprise therefore, when he felt small kisses going down his spine. Stefan gave a delighted chuckle that he'd managed to surprise him and continued as Damon hummed and enjoyed it.

"My sexy husband is going to burn out here." Stefan teased, giving his shoulder a little bite and Damon chuckled and exhaled happily.

"Maybe I need a human blanket to protect my delicate skin from the sun." He mumbled content.

"I think we can manage that." Stefan whispered seductively and slid his hands over Damon's naked bottom.

They were so isolated here that they could lie on their little patch of beach nude and make love and no one was any the wiser. Stefan kissed his way down his spine slowly, enjoying the feeling of heat on Damon's skin. He licked down onto his buttocks and Damon ground his hips upwards, humming. Stefan licked him gently until he was hot and bothered and then he sat up and leaned to push into him. Damon spread his legs and moved against him, effectively taking Stefan as Stefan chuckled and gasped in surprise.

"Oh god, what do you do to me?" Stefan let his mouth hang open as Damon used his muscles to ride him.

Stefan could only stand it for a few minutes before he growled and threw himself down on top of him, plunging deep and taking control of the thrusting as Damon moaned and grabbed at the towels underneath him. They moved together, gyrating, moaning and whispering words of love as they sweated and grabbed at each other. It was so perfect. Stefan climaxed deep inside of him and stayed inside as Damon climaxed too gasping. They lay for a little while like that, before Stefan roused and placed small kisses around Damon's neck. Damon's hair had grown longer and although he now wanted to cut it, Stefan had begged him not to. He loved being able to grab sections of it when they had rougher sex. Now he stuck his nose into the hair at the back of Damon's head and inhaled deeply.

"Hmmn."

"Husband you smell like sand." Stefan chuckled.

"Husband you smell like sex." Damon retorted and they both sighed.

"Come and shower with me." Stefan began to separate their bodies and Damon whined unhappily.

"What's the point when I'll lose all of you inside me?" Damon teased.

Stefan loved filling him and he knew he could use that to his advantage.

"All of you, spilling down the drain." Damon continued and Stefan growled and flexed his hips into him again.

"Fine." Stefan surrendered and lay on top of him again.

Damon smelled like the sun and sea and it was nice. No sooner had they began to drift to sleep again, than the timely thunderstorm appeared overhead and they were roused by pouring rain coming down on them. They both jumped and Stefan pulled out of him, helping him stand as he grabbed his book and they headed towards the little porch of their cabin. They laughed as they ran and hid under the roof.

"Gotta love this weather." Damon grinned and pulled him in for a deep kiss as he exhaled happily.

They'd abandoned the little bed Stefan had made and as Stefan looked towards the wet mess of blankets that now remained there, he pouted.

"I'll make it tomorrow. Let's get some Sangsom and get loaded." Damon tucked Stefan's hair behind his ear.

"I thought you said it wasn't really whiskey." Stefan joked about Thailand's famed 'whiskey'.

"No but it'll do." He swatted Stefan's behind and they went inside to have a bath and rid themselves of wet sand.

The thunder storm outside continued, with loud booming thunder and occasional lightning. It was thrilling, like no other place in the world and so far from Mystic Falls it was unreal. Damon began to mix them some drinks when a knock sounded at their door. Stefan wrapped himself in a towel and went to the door.

"For you? You buy?" A young Thai man shoved a package towards him and Stefan shook his head at first as he tried to figure out if he was being sold something. "You buy? American man with cigar?"

Stefan gasped and reached out for the package and gave the man some baht for coming out in the storm. The man grinned widely at how much Stefan had given him – probably more than he made in a week. Stefan still couldn't get his head around dollars to baht exchanges. Oh well, it was making them very popular here – they were the rich white American boys.

Stefan hid the book behind his back and moved back into the room. Damon was absorbed with running the bath so his back was turned anyway. Stefan slid the package under his pillow in their enormous bed.

"Who was that?" Damon asked.

"Just someone from the hotel up the road. Wanted to sell us some souvenirs." Stefan lied and Damon grunted in acknowledgement.

They stood out so much here with their pale skin that even if they hadn't been moneyed, they'd still have to fight off the amount of tourist trade here.

Damon didn't ask any more questions as he looked back at him and motioned him over. He unwrapped Stefan from his towel and kissed him softly as he helped him into the bath. Every day their bath was filled with rose petals for them and it just made everything so much more perfect here. Stefan sighed in bliss as the warm water encompassed him and Damon got in at the other end.

"Can we just stay here forever?" Stefan closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

Damon chuckled and stroked his legs with his toes gently.

"Can we get a rose bush for the garden? Then we could have rose petal in our bath at home." Stefan said and Damon shook his head jovially, smiling.

"Who's going to pick them all out of the drain?"

"I will."

"Ok, Stef." Damon snorted and Stefan chuckled.

They didn't talk much, just happy to be in each other's company. The thunder storm began to clear eventually, giving rise to the sounds of frogs and other nightlife beginning to rouse with the falling sun. The water went cold and they eventually got out, draining the bath away. They laughed amazed at how much sand was at the bottom of the bathtub. They must have been covered. Damon went into the walk in closet to grab some boxers to wear to bed and Stefan took the opportunity to grab the package from under his pillow. He opened it quickly and peeked inside. His heart swelled. He bit his lip excitedly as he waited for Damon to re-emerge into their room.

Damon yawned, stretching and moved around, not noticing the expression on Stefan's face. Stefan made a last minute decision and shoved the package under Damon's side of the blankets.

"So, you wanna go out? Hit a few bars or you wanna watch some movies tonight?" Damon asked as he tidied their wet clothes away and hung them in the bath tub that was in the centre of their room.

"Let's stay in." Stefan smiled and lay back, yawning.

"No arguments from me." Damon winked.

Damon continued to tidy and Stefan became more and more anxious for him to just come to bed.

"Hey, leave that all. Come here." Stefan pouted and Damon chuckled.

"Just let me hang some stuff Stef."

"Come here Angel." Stefan said and Damon stopped and looked to him.

Whenever Stefan called him Angel it was because he needed him for comfort or to hold him. Damon raised an eyebrow in surprise and Stefan looked at him with wide eyes. Damon placed their wet things in a heap in the tub and walked over to him, frowning slightly. He climbed onto the bed and cupped Stefan's face.

"What's wrong?"

"You're too far away." Stefan kissed his thumb and Damon gave a relieved smile and kissed his forehead.

He pulled back and pulled the bed clothes aside to jump into his side when he saw the package. He paused in surprise.

"What's that?"

"Open it and see." Stefan held his breath and Damon reached out and lifted it.

He opened the package carefully, trying to make the item inside wet as the outer package was soaked from the rain. Thankfully whatever was inside had been wrapped in polythene and was protected. He tore at it and paused when he uncovered the contents. He stared at it for a few minutes silently as Stefan's blood pounded in his ears.

"Damon?" Stefan whispered but Damon seemed entranced.

Stefan reached out to touch his shoulder gently and Damon looked at him as tears spilled down his face. Stefan leaned in and kissed his shoulder and Damon closed his eyes and took a shaky breath.

"How…?" Damon choked and looked down at the treasure in his hands again.

"It doesn't matter. I got it." Stefan stroked his back and kissed into his neck and shoulder softly as Damon body trembled with emotion.

"You shouldn't have." Damon breathed, more tears spilling as he ran his fingertips over the treasure.

"It's part of who you are." Stefan whispered and Damon lay it down and turned to him fully, embracing him as Stefan cooed at him and squeezed him. "Is it the one?"

Damon pulled back nodding and wiped his face with the back of his hands as they both looked down at it. It was such a small thing, but such a huge thing to Damon – like a million spitfires.

"I love you." Damon whispered and Stefan leaned their heads together as Damon turned the first page of the little book and read the inscription inside.

"Dear Mr Salvatore, I hope you enjoy the story, love Margaret Mitchell."

Damon gave a sob of happiness and ran his fingers over it again. His book. His copy of Gone with the Wind that he'd kept at his bedside all of these long years and had sold to a random collector to buy their home in Elmwood. Stefan had started searching with Caro9line's help as soon as their honeymoon had ended. He'd been on a mission to get it back and it hadn't proved to be easy. Thankfully with enough hard work, Caroline's charm and determination, they'd found the buyer. He was a retired Colonel with no family and a lot of money to spare. He didn't even read the book, he simply knew its value. He didn't understand what value the book had in any other way but financial. It had taken the best part of a year to haggle and convince him to sell it back. Caroline's youth and appearance had helped immensely and she had played the part of a young admired of the civil war period perfectly.

The Colonel had been taken with her – like most men when she turned on her charms and had eventually agreed to sell it. He lived in Thailand and Stefan had contacted him secretly to exchange.

They lay down together as Damon held the book to his chest and closed his eyes. He couldn't believe he had it back again. He almost didn't want to let it go even for a second. Stefan chuckled and held him as they drifted to sleep peacefully and happily. Stefan had made himself a vow – to get back everything that Damon had sold that meant something to him. He would do it, if it took a hundred years to. Damon would do the same for him. It was comforting to know that they had all the time in the world to do just that – be in love and make each other happy and Stefan wasn't going to waste another moment.


End file.
